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I OLUMIC. XXI.
1~017TIC.B►:Iai: ..
• ' For the Record
TWILIGHT TWILIGHT&
sitting in the twilight lonely',
Watching evenings gathering gloom
Thinking of the good and lovely
Who are mouldering in the tinsb.
Ah, the days are long and dreary,
As they move on one by one,
While the Autumn winds eo weary;
Ever is sighing uthou'it alone."
— rem hear it in the morning,
When the wind is soft and low;
But at evening it is sadder,
And the words seem full of woe.
I know that I must journey, ,
Ev"r through life's path alone.
Without, their gentle, loving presence,
Or their voices tender tone.
Faith, who ever pointing upward,
Toward the calm serener way,
Tolls me thet the lost are watchin
From the gates of endless day
Watching o'er their erring Butte
And although I seem alone,
They are v ith ale ever present,
H th, , y wcre in days rigone
1.N.• ie very and fleeting,,
....soon'the sad dream wilt be o'er,
And at heaven's gate I'll meet them
Who have passed so long before.
Meet to never know a parting. ,
Ne'er to hear "farewell" again.
tweet tc. Elwell with t;oil in Heaven,
In the noN ]en tern
- 14/4 — .M Mar= -3ri Ai
From Pt terson's Magazine
ROE OUT YOUR ROW,
BY MRS. N M'CONAUOIIY.
The youngest son stood with his fair bride
upon the threshold of the old farm house.
Be was the last of four brave bot•s who had
gone forth .from that humble roof- -- --ff — work
their way ap manfully to a place of honor
and wiefulness in the world. Perhaps [flare
was a little dimness in the old man's eye,
and may be a little tremor in his voice as he
spoke the farewell words. But he took from
the old side•cupboard his parting gift, a
bright new hoe---and as he placed it in the
hand of the youth, the accompanying admo
nition sounded cheerily on his ear, 'Hoe out
your row.'
It was the fourth time a similar presenta
tion had been made in the old. homestead.
'Everybody will find his row to hoe in
this world, George—and sometimes •it is a
mighty tough one• ' but it is only cowards
that shirk it. Whatsoever thy hand find.-
eth to do, do it with thy might,' and never
forget to look up.
The old man wrung the hand of his eon.
and stooped down to kiss the cheek of his
fair, new daughter, while mother busied her
self with the dozen •last things,' which eve
ry one bot a mother forgets. The lingering
farewells were all said at last, and the old
coach rolled away with the two hopeful, sun.
ny hearts just entering life's bright and
beautiful summer.
The old homestead seemed deserted and
drear as a last year a nest. The aged pair
sat down by their own hearth etooes alone,
as when they began life together. [low
these old walls bad rung to the sound of
childhood's mirth, and childhood's step, and
in later years had echoed with the tread of
manly feet. Now they must live' more in
the buried past.
But to George and Ellen, life seemed all
one bright future, with the rainbow of hope
arching all their plans and projects.
Their Western home was a humble one,
and plenty of work for willing hands within
it. The young farmers chief capital was
his strong arm and stout heart, and the
sound-working•day principles he had been
taught from ohildhood. Sometimes he grew
discouraged with the prospects of paying
for the place he worked—but be was sure
to meet with hearty encouragement and
words of cheer from Ellen; a glance, too, at
the parting gift of his father, as it stood on
the mantle in the family room, was as good
as a sermon any day. There it stood very
ready to give encouragement and admoni
tion, as the case might be. Strangers might
think it a curious ornament for a chimney
piece, but it was soon regarded as one of
their household treasures. Dust nor rust
were never suffer° I to mar its bright
-12365.
'Ellen, it is no use trying,'_ said George
one evening, quite despondingly,ai he turned
away from some figures he had been ma
king on a scrap of paper, 'I can't make out
the payment this week, and I may as well
,give it up.'
Ellen looked up cheerfully from her
work and nodded towards the mantle.
'1 have hoed and hoed, but this row is too
much for me The wool will pay the next
installment, and the crops the next, but
where this fifty.dollats is to couto.from, that
1 need in addition to what I can make out,
is more than I can see.'
'Sell the cow George,' advised Ellen; 'you
were offered silty dollars for Ler you know.'
'But what can we - do for butterand cream
in our ooffee,.and all that ?'
'Do without for a time dear. A home is
a great deal more important to us now than
a luxury. Besides you shall - not sutler.
These little self-denials, you know, are al
most unavoidable, if we would fairly hoe
out our row'
George, like a sensible man, took his wife's
advice; and the satisfaction he felt, as he
paid down the money promptly and took his ..
receipt, far extending that which any table
enjoyment could afford him.
Ellen ransacked her memory for economi
cal sauces and gravies, to take the place of
old Debby's golden butter and yellow cream;
and she never forgot to stir a well-beaten egg
into the pot of coffee, so improving its rich
ness that George scarcely missed the favor
ite luxury.
Steadil
onward he hoed his row until the
place was all his own. Thif—tild—lrom-e—frad
put on a new face out-doors and in. There
were shrubs and rose buahes in abundance in
the once tangled and briar grown door yard,
and a fine young orchard was blossoming on
the sunny slope toward the south.
There were files of agricultural papers on
the broad shelf of the little library, and a
choice selection of miscellaneous books above
them. There were little tasteful appoint•
meets here and there, about the cheerful sit
ting-room, but the bright hoe was never dis
placed by any gem or crystal. The pretty
shell framed pictures might look down upon
it, if they choose, it could not be looked out
of countenance. .
i tge-was-respeeted-antl—k-nown—b
his neighbors, and the stranger, who
bit' for a night the generous hospitality of
of his •roa' hearth-stone, went away to
speak, years after, ~f the pleasant hours he
spent there; and the kindly attentions of the
gentle wife, whose wide heart took in every
suffering, sorrowing one of earth, The bless
ing of the Lord was upon that hou=ehold,
and it is that alone 'which maketh the rich,
and lie addeth no sorrow with it'
Years sped apace, when one ruddy Octo
ber, a circular autograph letter went round
the circle of brothers, bidding, them all come
to the golden wedding. And the call gath
ered them in front their distant homes.
There was a racket of merry, youthful'
voices, as the grandchildren romped through
the old halls, but grandfather's face was
. ; .
I i - ELI 1E
namesake, gentle, dignified Grace, took the
reins of government into her hands, so all
moved on most harmoniously, relieving motif
ers of all care, and leaving them to their
heart's content.
Carrie was the daughter-in-law who lived
nearest home, so the care of the feast fell up
on her. 'Gran'dma must not stir from her
rocking.-chair' until all was upon'the table
Indeed, it would be hard -for — her to accom
pli.h much with so many little run-a ways
under her feet all the time, whose manifold
perfections must continually be observed_and
commented on.
The evening lamp was lighted, and a little
fire was burning in the open fire-place, as all
were seated in the old home-room
William, the eldest born; stepped forth
from the little group, and advancing to his
gray-haired father, remarked : 'lt is twenty.
two years since the first of us went forth
from this roof to make his way in the world.
As each, took his departure, you present
ed to him a bright, new hoe, with the injunc
tion, 'Hoe out your row.' How well we
have followed your directions and the les
sons of industry, perseverance, Christian in
tegrity, and self-denial, you have always
taught, by your words and by your life, it
remains for you to judge. As a token that
we have not forgotten your teaching the
name of my brothers and myself I present
this hoe to you,' and with a how ho laid it
down upon the little round stand before
him.
The old man dropped his head, and the
thin hairs fell about his templei as he si.n ply
said; with choking voice,
'God bless the boys'.
'Mother,' said Ralph, advancing to her
side, we all know that you vould not desire
any gift of jewels and golden ornaments,
such as are common on these occ aloes. Uu t
we thought the contents of -this tittle 1) , .a
might add some comfort to your lives, which
we should delight to bestow, if we were not
so widely separated.' Be placed in her
hands a beautiful gilt casket, containing four
of the broadest pieces the mint turns out,
with a liberal sprinkling of smaller yellow
drops from the little grandchildren.
'Now, father,' said Dominie Ned, as he
walked up to the stand, 'I must give you my
wedding present,' and he laid before him
his beautiful copy of the Testament
: and
Psalms, printed in very large clear type, so
grateful to the failing sight of age. In
bright gilt letters on the side were stamped
these words:
'I love Thy commandments above gold,
yea, above fine gold.'
'Now, perhaps we had better sing our
evening hymn, and after worship, let the lit
tle ones tramp off to bed'
The patriarch knelt aming his flock, and
the prayer, from his full heart; for God's
blessings upon them, was as if be had enter
ed vrithin•the veil There were tears on
many cheeks when they rose, anti a subdued
tone ran even in the , good-nights' of the mer
ry children.
Then all drew up about the fire and told
over tales of other days. William told how
be had hoed out a pretty hard row in the
new place, where be had sought to establish
himself as a physician. But, after due wait
ing, the 'first patient' came at last, and. the
second, and so on, until now he was the •old
physician' of the place, with two young men
in the office with him.
Dominic Nod, (otherwise Rev. Edward
Kent,) detailed son►p of the 'Shady Side' ex
perience of his first charge; but they were
pleasantly relieved by the many 'Sunny
Side' incidents his wife took care "to suggest
as, he went along.
George and Ralph e4mpared farmnotes,
and alto ether, the evening passed. as only
WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, FRIDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER 8, 1867.
.Aaa. iradleiroei3cll.e•iit Family lire-vvorret,per.
•
snob gatherings, by such a hearth-stone, ever
can. It is only such training that can pro
duce such results. If you wish our boys and
— girls to grow up useful, honorable, and hap
' py, teach them faithfully 'to hoe out their
row.'
, Well Born Pflople:
Paients transmit their organization and
character to their children. What father or
mother is there who would not wish to leave
his issae a groat estate of human virtue—in
their bone and - muscles, health, strength,
longevity and beauty— and in their_sturl,
wisdom, justice, benevolence, piety, rather
than the opposite dell things? Everything
must bear,fruit after its kind, year after
• ear — Men - do-not-gat her-grapes—of—thorns
nor figs of thistles. Men talk of good birth
and blood. No man honors the well born
more than I; but who are they? In America
we say the sons and daughters of the rich;
wealth is nobility; its children are well born.
In Europe we are told they are the children
of Lords and Kings.
.0, foolish men! Ut•
all the children of European royalty for eight
years there has not been born one who in
common life, would have won the smallest
distinction.
Among the decant people of Europe, Kings
of all others, are the most ill•burn. Whefe
do the rich families of New England go in
the third migration? Look over Boston
see wh - enee - c o • tno e aen a, t
great virtue, the poetry, the science, th;
eloquence, the literature, which adorns th•
land? They are not rocked in golden cradles
It is not royalty in Europe or wealth it
America, which is father and mother to th:,
great masterly talent which controls ant
urges on the groat mass of the people with
its mind, and conscience, heart and soul.
No, it is the children of wholesome industry
of intelligence, morality and religion, whit
are well-born Virtue is nobility; all east
is but the paint men write its name with.
Health, strength, beauty—still more, wisdom
integrity, philanthrophy, religion—these art
well born, noble—yes, royal if you will, for
they are the kingly virtues of humanity, an.
whosoever has themy though ho be .cradle
amongst cattle, ho only is the best born o
men. • are is there wit - a — would — not - coy t -
that royalty for himself, and still more
achieve it for his daughter and his son, that,
when his bones are crumbling in some ob
scare old churchyard, in his children th•
strong and flame-like flower of virtue may
blossom fair and ripen its seed, and sow tht
green earth gladsomely withal.
[G. W. Parker.
Pleasant Wishes
Many anecdotes are related of old'Lije
Lincoln, an eccentric revolutionary pension
er, of irascible temper and vivid immagina•
Lion.
Having fallen out with a neighbor
day, Elijah exelaimed:—.l. wish there was a
well so deep,. that it' you dron a cannon ball
into it, 'twould never get to the bottom, and
old Roger had to be jerkad from the
top to the bottom of that well and back a
gain once in a fortnight for six weeks•'
Of another person who had excited his
wrath, he said, wish to God there was a
heap of flax seed as big as Mount Tom, and
J osh had to climb from the bottom to the
top, and then go back and put every seed he
moved into the place where it was before he
started
At the village grocery, ono evening, the
loungers were 'wishing' and one said; 'Now,
listen to my wish. I wish I had so much
money that 'twould take a seventy-four gun
ship leaded down with needles so deep that
if you put another needle in 'twould sink
her, and all these needles to be worn out in
making up bags to hold my money. Kin
ye beat that visit 'Lije ?'
Elijah, thus appealed to, replied, with
something like a contemptuous sneer, ‘l'shaw,
if you're goin' to wish, why don't you wish
for something whilst you're about it ? I wish
I Lail so much money, that what you've
wished for wimidn't pay the interest of mine so
long as ye could hold a red hot needle in
your ear
A DRINKING STOUT WIWI TWO TINTS
—An old inebriate named Billy, in one of
our Western towns, was induced by the elo•
quence of a local preacher, to forego the in
toxicating cup and join the church Old Bil
ly became an earnest convert, and as he had
been so notorious a drunkard, his reforma•
tion was looked upon as a wonderful argu
ment in favor of the preacher's particular
faith. He was therefore made much of and
allowed a front seat during the service. ' It
happened one day to be communion, and as
the bread and wine were handed around,Billy,
occupying a front seat, was among the first
served. As the cup"was handed to bim a
smile of ineffable light broke over his face
Casting his eyes upward for a moment, ho
placed the cup to his lips and drained it to
the last drop The Elder made a dash to
regain the cup, but was too late; it was emp
ty. With a look of dismay, the Elder ex
claimed, 'That was not all for you 1' But
Billy clasped his hands together and grin
ning piously up at him, said: 'Oh I love
the'Lord so much I could drink a quart
.PIitIVENCt OF MIND.-000 of the work
men on the tin root of the State House at
Columbia, South Crrolioa, on Tuesday last,
commenced slipping near the summit, and
finally attaining, a groat speed, glided toweirds
death and the edge of the lofty eaves with
fearful velocity. It so happened,
.however,
that ho held in his hand a hatchet, and, with
admirable presence of Ini,nd, he drove it in
with till his might through the Co sod wood,
ael thus he was enabled to hold on until he
could be released from .his frightful position.
Not a nice predicament that.
—....----
Advertising is the oil, which wise trades
men 1114 in their lamps.
Drowning the Squirrel.
When I was about six years old, one morn
ing going to school, a ground squirrel ran in
to its hole in the road befOre me, as they like
to dig holes in some open place, where they
can put out their bead to see if any danger
is near. I thought now I would Shave fine
fun. As there was a stream of water just at
band, I determined to pour water into the
hole till it should be fall, and force the little
animal .up so that I might kill it. I got a
trough from beside a sugar maple, used for
catching the sweet sap, and was sotin pouring
water in on the poor squirrel. I could hear
it struggle to.get up, and said, "Ah, my fel
low, I will soon have you out now."
Just then I heard a' voice -behind me,
boy„—w-hat-hay.e_yuu. g otinAkersir
I turned and saw one of my neighbors, a good
old man, with long white looks, that h adi seen
sixty winters. 'Why,' said I, have' a
ground squirrel in here, and am going to
drown him out.'
Said be, 'Jonathan, when I was a little
boy, more than fifty years ago,' Imes engaged
one day just as you are, drowning a ground
squirrel; and an old man like me came along,
and said to me, 'You are a little boy; now,
if you were down in a narrow hole like that,
and I should come along and pour water down
on you to drown you, would not you think I
was cruel? God made that little squirrel,
and life is as sweet to it as it is to •ou and
why will you torture to death a. little inno
cent creature that God has made ?' I have
never forgotten that, and never shall. I nev
er have killed any harmless creature for fun
since. Now; soy dear boy, I want you to re
member this while you live, and when tempt
ed to kill any poor little innocent animal or
bird, think of this, and mind God don't allow
us to kill his pretty little creatures for fun.'
More than forty years have since passed,
and I never forgot what the good man said,
nor have I ever killed the least creature for
fun since. Now,,gou see it is ninety years
since this advice was first given, and it has
not lost its influence yet. How many little
creatures it has saved from being, tortured to
I cannot tell, but I have no doubt a
great Dumber, and I relieve my whole life
has been influenced by it.
ow, I.7Vvatit - utrt eh & - ar - lit - tte - . b•_. •,
they read this, to keep it in mind; and when
they see pretty birds or harmless animals
playing or hunting their food, not to hurt
them. Your Heavenly Father made them,
and be never intended them to be killed for
fun; -- I don't think, when the blessed Jesus
was a little boy, he would have killed such
innocent creatures for fun, and every little
boy should try to be as much like Jesus as he
can The Bible says, 'Blessed are the mer
ciful, for they shall obtain mercy: —Lessons
of Kindness to Animals.
American Wonders.
The greatest catersot in the world Is the
Falls of Niagara, where he water from the
great Upper Lakes forms a river of three
quarters of a mile in wideli, and then being
suddenly contracted, plunges over the rocks
in two columns to the depth of 170 feet
each.
The greatest cave in the world is the Mam
moth Cave in Kentucky, where any one can
make a voyage on the waters of a subtefane
an river, and catch fish without eyes.
The greatest river in the world is the Nils
sisgippi, 4,000 miles in length.
The largest Valley in the world is the Val
ley of the Mississippi. It contains _500,000
square miles, and is one of the most fertile
and profitable regions on the globe:
The larges lake in the world is Lake Su
perior, which is truly an inland sea, being
440 miles long, and 1,000 feet deep.
The greatest natural bridge in the world
is the Natural Bridge over Ceder Creek in
Virginia. It extends across a chasm 80 feet
in width and 250 foot in depth, at the bot
tom of which the creek flows.
The greatest mass of iron in the world is
the Iron Mountain of Missouri. It is 350
teet high and two-miles in circuit.
The largest number of whale ships in the
world is sent out by Nantucket and New
Bedford,
The greatest grain port in the world is
Chicago.
The largest single volume ever published
is Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, an A
merican work— the irst of the language—
containing as much matter as six family Bi
bles.
The largest aqueduct in the world is the
Croton Aqueduct in New York. Its length
is forty miles and a half, and it• cost twelve
and a half millions of dollars.
The larOst deposits of anthracite coal in
the world are in Pennsylvania—the mines of
which supply the market with millions of
tons annually, and appear to be inexhausti•
hie.
All time; it may be observed, are Ameri
can 'institutioos.' •In contemplation of them,
who will not acknowledge that ours is a
'great country ?'
WATCH THEM —Those fellows who don't
take their home paper, just watch them !
They are always on the alert on publication
day, and when the paper comes round to your
place of business, are the first to snatch it up,
tailing in this, they read it over your shoul
ders, too impatient to demean themselves in
a respectable manner. Spot these fellows !
They are the small souled, stingy, handed,
who go through the world on other folks'
money.
Young man, you are waiting for some door
to open into a broad and useful futu - re?—
Don't wait. Select the Joor and pry it open,
oven if you have to use a crow-bar.
A dl>cl preacher down South, recently
said in a prayer: 'O, Lord be pleased to
choke your great table cloth over your hue•
gry children, dat coy may be red wid de
eruuips oh your love.'
The Old woman and the Crows.
The toadyism that "sees a 'camel in the
eland,' and even propitiates the devil him
self, rather than brook opposition—finds a
fitting illustration in the following:
At a certain cross roads in the State of Al
abama, stood a small grocery or whisky shop
preveious to the war, where bust head and
chain lightning were dealt out to the thirsty
and unwashed at the small stun of 5 cents a
drink; .or 20 cents a quart. The presiding
genius of this institution was one Bill Strikes;
who had a domesticated ;row, as black as the
nee of spades. This crow had learned quiet
plainly the words •damn you,' which he of
course heard frequently repeated in the gro
cer During the 'revalence of the knock
own an. drag out—h e ilir iiiiri — rrry;"ol l l4 7 c ,
the crow was frightened from home and flew
to the woods never to return again.
About three miles from the grocery was a
settlement meeting house—an old tumble
down, dilapidated affair, only used on certain
occasions, when a circuit rider happened to
pass that way. In this -- building the crow
went, taking peaceable possession, and two
days thereafter the church was thrown open
for preaching, and a crowd assembled, a
mong whom was a very old lady who was
compelleind use crutches in walking, who
took her seat in the front pow, and was soon
dee absorbed in the etc), mem of the
preaching. The reverend gentleman had
scarcely gotten under full headway and com
menced thundering his anathemas at all—
grades of , sinners, when a hoarse, croaking
voice from above uttered the ominous words:
'Damn you'
The preacher and congregation looked a
ghast at such profanity, and each peered in.
to his neighbor's face to detect some sign of
guilt. Quiet was at length restored, how
ever, and the sermon proceeded; but ere ten
minutes had elapsed the ominous 'damn you'
again electrified the audience, and just as
the preacher cast his eye upward to search
for the delinquent, the crow flew from his
perch, and alighting upon the Bible, calmly
surveyed the crowd as he gave another croak:
'Damn you. ,
The effect was electrical. Giving one
etliutierrifted-gtaul.e at the—intr • ,
the preacher sprang through a window, ear.
rying sash, glass and all with - tam, and set
off at a break neck pace through the woods,
closely followed by his horror stricken con
gregation who bad piled out of the building
pell well after him. In the - general scram
ble the old lady with the crutches had be ,
knocked down in the churchiwhere she lay
unable to rise, and on seeing her, the crow
(who was after something to eat) flew down
beside her, very knowingly and croaked:
Damn - you.'
The old lady eyed him savagely for a few
moments, and burst forth in a tone of reck
less defiance:
'Yes, and damn you, too ! I had nothing
to do with getting up this Alethodisf meet
ing, and you know it too l'
The poor old soul had mistaken the crow
for the devil, and concluded to propitiate,
it possible, the wrath of his satanic majesty
by denying'all complicity in the affair.,
The world is full of such people.
- POPPING THE QUESTION.—AII ladies
know by instinct how the question of ques
tions should be asked, so asked as to make
it tell, But very few men know bow to ask
it gracefully Love stricken youths often
act sorrily on occasions of this kind; in fact,
like the merest lubbers; sod the worst of it
is that those of them who would make the
best husbands often spoil their chances by
floundering ridiculously at the critical mo
ment. For this reason, saucy, world-hag•
doped fellows who'never stammer, blush or
falter, not untrequently carry off the prize,
the lady not discovering until too late,• that
she has mistaken brass for gold. Under
these circumstances, why will not some gen
tle creature of a 'certain age,' who has noth
ing more to hope or fear from man, wader.
take to teach the young idea how to shoot
dexterously at the matrimonial target? It
w.ould be a profitable, business, pecuniarily,
beyond a doubt, and then as philanthropic.
There aro multitudes of young men wh o
would give ten dollars apiece to be able to do
the thing with ectut, and it certainly might
IA taught in loss than 'six easy lessons.' The
lady preceptrees should make her pupils
propose to her until perfect in the art of
proposition.
CLIEERFUGNESS AND MOROSENEBS.—If we
are cheerful and contented, all nature smiles
at us; the air seems more balmy, the sky
more clear, the ground a brighter-green, the
trees have a richer foliage, the flowers a more
fragrant small,- the birds sing more sweetly,
and the sun, moon and stars appear more
beautiful. We take our food with relish, and
whatever it may be, it pleases us. We feel
better for it—stronger and lovlier, and fit for
exertion. Now what happens to us if we
are all ill-tempered and discontented ? Why
there is nothing which can please us. We
quarrel with our fond, with our dress,
with our amusements, with our—
companions, and with ourselves. Nothing
comes right for us; the weather is either too
hot or too cold, too dry or too damp. Neith
er sun, nor moon, nor stars have any beauty,
the fields are barren,thtt flowers are lustreless,
and the birds afloat. Wo move about like
some evil spirit, neither loving nor beloved
by anything.
Nuisanocs—Cross old maids, mischief-ma
king women, grumbling old bachelors, di.
lapidated side-walks, Equalling children, rag
ged. postal currency; and a man who is too
hoggish to take his homo paper, but bor
rows ono of his neu neighbor.
-As a r ra% no "marl in rries his first love.
l It is hard to give any reason for this expopt
that it SCQUIS (0 have always beau a Lat.
9ii.00 Per IL'orts,
Tricks of a Jugglar.
The .far-famed Robert Heller cannot be
satisfied witli his ligitiriaate - trinmphs before
an audience, but occasionally does a neat
thing for his own amusement, very much to
the surprise of those who happen to be pres
ent. On Saturday last, while paSsing an i
tinerant render of cheap provisions,Pdr. Hel
ler suddenly paused and inquired
'How do you sell eggs, Auntie.'
~'Lem eggs,' was the- responce; 'dey am a
piokayune areee=fresh, too, last one, of 'em
I biled 'em myself, andli - now dey's lust rate,'
'Well, I 11 try 'em,' said the magieian.—
'Have you pepper and salt f'
'Yes sir, dere dey is, said the sable sales
woment, watching her customer with intense
. n.tere: •
Leisurely drawing -out a penknife, Mr.
Heller proceeded very quietly to cut the egg
exactly in hallorhet — stfddenly a bright, new
twenty-five cent piece was discovered lying
embedded in the yolk apparently as bright
as when it came from the mint. Very coolly
the great magician transferred the coin to his
vest pocket, and taking up another egg; in
quired :
'And how much do you ask for this egg?'
'De Lord bless my soul i Dat egg I De
:et am, boss, die egg is worth a dime,
eh tire
'All right,' was the response; 'hero's the
1 I•. •;II ; I: ' gg.
Separating it with an exact precision
that the colored lady watched eagerly, a
quarter eagle was most carefully picked out
of the centre of-the egg s and placed iu the
vest pocket of the operator, as before. The
old woman was thunderstruck, as well she
might have been, and-her customer had to
ask her pries for the third egg two or three
times before he could obtain a reply.
'Par's no 1180 talkie; mirs'r,' said the be
wildered old darkey. can't let you Lab dat
ere egg, nohow, for less dan a quarter. I de•
(dare to de Lord I can't'
Very good,' said Heller, whose iinpurtnr- s
bable features were as solenin as an underta
ker, there is your quarter and here is.the egg,
All right.'__
As ho opened the last egg, a brace of five
dollar gold pieces were discovered anus!! • de-
posited In t e very 'earl of tho yolk, and
jingling them merrilly together i.a his little
palm, the savant cooly remarked.
'Very good eggs, indeed. I rather like
them, and while I am about it, I believe I
will buy a dozen. What is the—price7'
De price!' screamed the amazed daughter
of Liam. 'You couldn't buy dem eggs mars'r,
for all de money you's dot. No! dat you
couldn't. I'se gain., to take dem eggs--all—
home, I is, end dat moray in dem eggs all
'longs to me. It does dat. couldn't sell no
more of dem eggs nobow.'•
Amid the rear-of spectators, the benighted
African started to her domicil to 'smash dent
eggs,' bit with what success we are unable
to reate.
Some people talk a great deal about min•
isters and the cost of keeping them, paying
their house rent, table expenses, and other
items of salary. Did such croakers ever think
that it costs $35,000,000 to pay the • salaries
of American lawyers; that $12,000,000 are
paid out annually to keep our criminals, and
$10,000,000 to keep the dogs in the midst
of us alive, while only $6,000,000 are spent
annually to keep 5,000 preaoher s in the
United States! These are facts, and statistics
will show them to be facts. No other thing
exerts such a mighty influence to keep this
republio from taqing to pieces as the Bible
and Ministers.
•
A Son of Erin, driven to desperation by
the stringency of the money market and the
high prico of provisions, procured a pistol
and took • the road. Mooting a traveler,
he stopp d him with, 'Your money or your
life.' S eing Pat was 'green 3 l he said,
tell you • at I'll do—l'll give you all my
money for • t piator.' 'Agreed! Pat re
ceived the and handed over the pis
tol. 'Now,' id, the traveler, 'hand back
that money, • r I'll blow your brains out.'—
'Blaze away my hearty';' said Pat; 'aiver a
dro • of so her there's in it,'
HIT TuEfr AGAIN.---. Henry Ward Beech•
er, in his discourse on Sunday; said that
some men will not shave on Sunday, and yet
they spend all the week in shaving their
fellow men; and many folks think it very
wicked to black their boots on Sunday morn
ing, yet they do not hesitate to black their
neighbors reputation on week days.'
Putich says: ilVomen are said to have
stronger attachments Outman. ° It is not so.
A man is often attached to an old hat; but
did you over know of r woman being attach
ed to an old bonnet?' Echo answers 'Nev
er ?'
Somebody writes the following order for
A. Johnson:
Lower him carefully,
Lower him prnyerfully— o r
Lower, and lower, and lower,
Where martal hug) never been b,f)re
The smallest and most contemptible ob
ject that is near us obimires the most noble
which lies beyond.
It was a light-horded chary who sung; 'O,
were 1 but a moonbeam.'
rfulan in New Orleans is au upright in
all hid dealings that ho won't sit down to eat
is meals.
A beggar's stand it Paris is advertised for
pig in n parlor like n. house tifire?
c s'qoner it is put oa s t the better.
What twist rogonfhlps, a oat looking oat
of a windo N? 013 Q hrtiLidg • t
NUMBER 17