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VOLUME XX
SECOND ARRIVAL
AT THE CHEAP CORNER OF
PRICE & 110EPLIC!,
'in the way of a large and handsome stock of New
Winter Goods just received from the East
The firm tender their thanks to' the community
for their very liberal patronage, and now nsk them
to call and Bee their present assortment of desirable
WINTER GOODS,
which they feel confident that they will pronounce
cheap compared to former prices and quay
A We ask the ladies to . call and look over the array of
Poplins,
Merinos,
rinid goods,,
Cioallll,~S
rW;tie,
•''he gentlemen are directed to the benntiful line of
Cassimereo Fancy,
Cassimeres Plain,
Satinets,
Fustains,-,
Tweeds,
Shoes, ,
Gaiters,
Gum Ssnluls and Buskins.
Lathe( Bard° Over Shoee,Jl
Ladies will pitmen notice our fine assortment of
13radloys hoop Skirts,
%laterals,
Skirts for Misses & Children
Shaker and Balediral; Flannels,
Opera, Army and Grey Flannels,
Wool and Cotton Ya
I rns, all colon!,
Colored and White Cotton Flannels,
Men's Undershirts and Drawers,
Men's Roundabout;
Ladies Breakfast Shawls,.
- Long - tia4 spiare Shawls
Fancy Blankets,
Horse Blankets,
iVhir
131ankets
'Courlins,
Gum Cloth,
Rail Road Bags,
Baskets,
Buckets,
Butter Prints,
Brooms;
Coffee,
Sugar,
Teas,
Spices, &c.
Grain Lags,
The subscribers kindly ask the community to call
and see their handsome stock of goods" now open
and mill vouch that poisons will be convinced that
..prices have fallen," and greatly too, and to con
vince youreelvee of the facts just drop in and make
an inspection of goods and prices.
PRICE & Ho;Brum.
Nov 23, 1866
1867.
JUST RETURNED.
Metcalfe, Senior ream of - the firm of
METCALFE Az MITESEIEW
CHAMBRSEURG,
---iIKS just returned , from the East where he h er
been since fast week buying all such goods as
they are out of, and also Goya); all bargains offered.
The new•goode will he opened to morrow, rfat ur
day January Pith. Those wit., want bargains in the
Pry Goods and Notion line go to No.ls.Main Bt.
where . you will be sure to find them.
roods of every description • Wholosalod at city
jo stra prices. M. &
U.
ohambershurg, Jun. 4, 1807,
EligAnt, and beautiful Usacues tur 12
cents. 'Gies 1 for 10 cents fa.
May 18. filkitem.rs &
Deloins,
Alpacas, '
Mohair IZ cps
CaAmeres.
A llwool Delaits
Cloths &
Vesting.
rlannels
Gu'm Shoefr,
Ch ildron'c Shoe!'
Yarns,
Bowls,
Spoons,
Ladles,
Chocolate,
Bagging, &o.
WAYNESBORO',
P'C3)3EITICI.EkM4p
"SOH DAY."
800tho•the dreamy eyes to rest,
Fold him closer to thy breast,
Coax the childish tears away—
Care will come to him some day
Twine the wantfring waves of gold,
Round the brow of matchless mold,
Kiss the cheek where dimples play—
He will cease to laughsome day.
Feld the night-robe pure and' white,
Sleep will soon hsve dimmed his sight.
In thy arms ho will not stay, -
Softly pillowed thus "some day."
Calm his breathing, soft and slow—
None save GOD his fate may know;
Never then forget to pray
He be good and - groat acme Jay.
IRAN'S HEART.
Man's Mart, 'tis said, is like a Harp,
With many and many a string;
That from Um chords t,:na rna.ter hand,
Of Time loth music bring,
A stranger-like Harp, indeed it is,
We're laughing now, now weeping;
Tears and smiles
This harp beguiles,
Jukl 119' tbe hand is sweeping.
I=l" , rm
Some gangs there are of sadness;
Too many give a sigh for grief,
•
And sing a Fong for gladness,
I'd have my Harp strings wet with tears
Sometimes—and sing of sorrow;
The darkest day _
Will
And gladness gladnens come to morrow.
- IVX I ,f 3 I:=1. li—' er-aZ\,,MtVE-.
A DAUGHTER'p STRATAGEM
Judge Rose lived in Belleville, on the bank
of a great river in the West. Every 'oar he
went to Washington, and his voice was,often
heard in the halls of Congress. Yet though
he was called great he was not good, because
he was vesy fond of drinking wine, brandy,
&c. and frequented the gambling rooms so
numerous in that city. These habits gain
ed upon him daily, until they conquered all
his moral strength. Ilia townsmen- refused
to send him as their delegate any longer.
Judge Rose had an amiable wife and three
pretty daughters. ~,Mary,the eldelt daugh
ter, was his'especial pet. lie tholght more
of her than he did of himself, and no wish
of her's went unsatisfied. She was of
sweet disposition, and so obedient and respect
ful to her parents, and kind to every ono a
bout, that she was beloved by everybody.—
And though her father's dwelling was the
most elegant, and they had beautiful grounds,
and servants, and horses and carriages, and
fine clothes, she never put on airs- as runny
do, but was modest and retiring.
Mr. Rose and his wife and daughters were
all members of a Christain church. Ile was
often suspended from its fellowship, and on
promises of repentance received again. LI is
influential position in society, and pious con
duct of his wife and daughter, caused much
pity for them and elicited much patience.—
They hoped by love and'patience to restore
him wholly. But all the love of his family
and the church cuuld not stop this erring
man in his downward course.
At last so low did he fall as to lore all self
respect and frequent the lowest whiskey
shops in the town. Daily he want out un
shaved, unwashed, ragged and almost naked,
and when drunk would sing a low song which
would draw around him a crowd of boys to
jeer and laugh and scorn the once dignified
judge. In personal appearance he.was now
the lowest of the low.
. .
It is not to be supposed that Christians
and temperance men allowed such a man to
ruin himself without efforts to Rave him
Earnest - and persevering endeavors were put
forth, prayers were offered up, and his fami
ly left ao avenue to his heart nnectered.—
Ent all were alike useless and hopeless.—
ilia wife and daughters wept and prayed, but
despaired entirely.
Mary, his pet, often hbore I to save her
lather from open disgrace, if not private sin.
She became very sad, and refused to attend
church or go into society. When her fath
erg was sober he had sense euou 'to see the
change in his once happy Nary a Be empd
to regret his course more for 'll r sake than
his own.
One morning he started as usual for the
drinking shop. 1* was a horrible object,
indecent to look as well as filthy. Ills
wife tried to hold him brick and get hint at
lenss to put on some decent clothing, but he
would not yield Mdry made ber appear•
anee by his side, clothed in rogs,low at the
'rock, bare artned and bonnetless, with an old
whiskey bottle to her hand, 'Elk inn her faill•
or's anti she said,—
"Come, falser, I'm going 1 - 00.!"
"Going where?" said he, Hturing at her as
if.' horror struck.
•TO the dram shop. What is good for
you is good for me."
Then she began to burish her bott lo and
io sing one of the low songs she beard him
siug iu the streets.
"no buck, girl, you are crazy. Mother,
take her io."
"B,ut I am'going, fat r,•with you, to rui
my soul and body. It 'is of no 'use to h
good, while you ore going off to the bad
place. You'll he loueiy th-ore . without your
Alury."
Akita litac:Leizsesracleatit 35 1 vt.maiL13r NeivvEava,rior.
RANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, FRIDAY 'HORNING, FEBRUARY 22, 1867.
"Go away, girl, you'll drive me mad."
"But you have been mad for a long time,
and lam going mad, too. What do I care,
my father is only a poor old desphied drunk
ard; his daughter may as well drink and lie,
in the gutter too."
So Mary pulled away at her father's-'arm,
and went cn to open the gate. lle drew
back, sill she dragged on and sung louder.
A few boys began to run towards them, and
then. her father broke from her hold, and
went into the house., There ho • Sat down,
and putting his face in his hands, wept and
sobbed aloud. Still Mary staid out.
"What is the matter?" Asked Mrs. Rose.
"Mary is crazy, and I made her so. I
wish I was dead. Do go and get her in. I
wont go out to-day."
Mrs. Rose went out and told Mary what
her father had said, and• then she went in.
She sat down with her bottle in her hand,
and all day she kept on the old rags. Mr.
Rose was in a terrible state for the want of
his accustomed stimulus,
and frequently
would go to the door but Mary was ready at
his side on every occasion. Mrs Rose pre
pared her meals with extra earn and gave
her husband two cups of coffee, and the,lat
ter part 'of the day lie laid down to sleep.
When ho woke up Mary was still there in
her rags and her bottle by for side.
With much trembling and shaking he put
on a good suit of clothes, and asked his wife
to send for a bather. Then after tea he said.
"I am going out."
"Where?"
"To the. temperance hall. Go with' me
and see if I do not go there."
So Mrs. Rose went with-frinthe door
of the hall, Mary still saying,—
"I must follow, for I'm afraid he'll go to
the whiskey shop without me."
-- But - his - wife saw grin - go up stairs aud en
'ter the meeting room the door closed upon
him. Then she and Mary went home to re
joice in trembling, at the result of the strata.
Surprise, joy and some distrust prevaded
the minds of the assembly
. of temperance
_l49theys__wh_en__Kr—Ros_e_walkod_i n
invited forward and asked to speak whateirer
be wished.
He rose and told the tale of the day, and
then added,—
MINIOIMMI
rens ovine to o a ow, tly crea ure; w ten
I know how much lower she would have to
descend if she went with me, I ahhored my
self. She vowed to go everywhere I went
and clo everything. I did,Could I see her
do that? Her Ipveliness stained, her chime
ter ruined? No, sir! if it kills me I will
leave off and never touch, taste, or handle
more, from this night henceforward and for
ever. Awl, new, gentleman help tne to be
a man again."
The building vibrated with the, etee - fit,
stamping and clapping, and a gush of Borg
rose from those manly hearts which might
have been heard for miles. Oh! "there is
joy in heaven over one sinner that repent
eth," end should there not be joy on earth?
We hope God converted the soul of Mr.
Rose, for he became a good man, and his
family were very happy Rut we hope no
other daughter have to resort to so pain
ful a remedy to save a father.
Let the Forgiven Fear
A soldier whose reg,onent lay in a garrison
town in England was about to be brought be
fore his commanding officer for some offence.
[ln was an old offender, and had often been
punished. 'Here he is again,' said the'ofh•
eer, on his name being mentioned; 'every
thing—flogging, disgrace, imj risontuenf—
has been tried with him.' Whereupon the
sergeant stepped forward, and apologizing
for the liberty he took,
aai l,—
'There is ono thing which has never been
done with him yet, sir.'
'\Vhat is that?' was the answer.
•\Nell, snit] the sergeant, 'ho has uev
cr been forgiven'
'Forgiven!' excl.aitned the colonel, surpri
sed at the suggestion.
Ile reflected fora few moinents, ordered
the culprit to be brought in, and asks I him
what ho had to soy to the charge.
'Nothing, sir,' was the reply; 'only I am
sorry for what j have done.
Turning a kind and pitiful look on the man,
who expected nothing else than his punish
ment would be increased with the repetition
of his offence, the colonel addressed him, say
ing, 'Well, we have decided to forgive you!'
The's°Wier was struck dumb with aston
ishment; the tears started in his eyes, and he
wept like a child Ho was humbled to the
dust; he thanked his cflicer and retired; to
be the old refractory, incorrigible man? No;
he was another man front that day forward
De who tells the story had hint for years un
der.his eve, and a better conducted man nev
er wore the queen's colors. In him kindness
bent ono whom harshneSs would break ; he
was conquered by mercy, and, forgiven, ever
after feared to offend.
A. thousand years hence, and whak,willoit
matter? With what a power this thought
sometimes strikes at the root of our earthly.
hopes and plans. flow it relaxes our clutch
ing grasp of the things for which• we are eo
hotly contending W then will have be
come of our racking tears, ur smiles of joy,
our bitter tears of pain? • 0 er insects will
occupy our places, and be toiling up bill, as
we old, with their one mighty grain of sand;
shrinking fettrially,ns we 41, from the crush•
mg heel of fate; soyisg, as we do, that they
believe in another life-after this; octing, as
we do, as if this life were the elld of all.
QUESTIONS fur a lyceum:
It 2U graiun maize o 6cruple, how many
will rnake.a doitht?
If Tdaya.make one week, bow many will
ruakn one strong? •
If yards make a pole, bow many wil)
make a Turk?
It 4 quarters male a yard h w many will
wake a gardeL? • --
HOPE .
Hope is the morning star of youth, the
sun of manhood, and the solace of old age.
It gilds the wild imagery of youth with the
fairy pencil of fancy, clothes the terrors of
relentless - fate with the sunny smiles-of-am
bitious dreams, and wraps the' night-fall of
mortality in the russet hues of calm security.
Its author is God, man its export e
ternity its throne! It weaves le smiles of
the sleeping babe into circling wreathes of
triumph, tv ich cluster around the maternal
heart, tint' e uncertainty of the future,
becomes e central orb of the Present. It
is indellibly written upon the tablet of every
loving fathers heart, and though his wayward
child may wander far away, into the dark
mazes of sin, nothing but the frigid hand of
death can sever the heart-strings that clasp
this mighty anchor of the soul. Man is mor
tal, and if such the power of Ilopo when
top
crating upon the grovelling ensibilities of
the natural heart, how glori a must it be
when reaching far beyond tis transitory
state, it grasps the heavenly a d divine. If
it fringes the dark drapery of life with hues
of mimic gold, how bright must be its soft
eninw tints of mellow light, when il)urning
the labyrinths of the eternal world! Here,
it goads to action, there it points to rest.--
Ambition trembles, avarice halts, and fame
sinks into chaotic night, before the noontide
glory of the ehristiart's hope. It soothes the
agonies of dissolution, calms the surging bil
lows of the dark river, and responsive to the
anthems of the cherubic host, attunes the
harp of victory to the melody of the skies.
It lights the, tore!' of inamortality,• a n tl
through'gloom, disaster and death, it waves
this beacon light of triumph, and crowns the
battlements of heaven with the glories of ee•
lestial day?LS. N.
The Clock of Life
The clock of life is 'compared to time—
that time which is not our bwn, but given us
to improve 'every moment. 'Bow few remem•
._b ex_ tb at_c_ver,y_lieat_of.our...rallite_liaakos_one
/CB3 in our lives, and will sooner or later
place us in eternity. Then let us begin to
improve the time God has given us.
A father having taught his son liOw to
' e ••I. •
nitre is tE r eelaek of-1 -
I mean," said he, "the beatings of your pals
for it may often remind you of the value( of'
time: and the necessity of turning it to good
account. Time is worth more than the fin
est gold "
•
"lily pule is the clock of life:
It shows how minutes are flying;
It ninths the departuie of time,.
And it tells me how fast err, dying."
He who livect a day without doing good,
loses a day; and he who makes another hap=
py, is sure to be all the happier for it him
self.
Place pour finger on your pulse, as it befits;
remember every bent makes ono less in your
life. •
You may think it will be a long time be•
Eyre it will stop beating. but it may stop very
suddenly.lf God does not:keep it wound
tip, the dock would stop at any. moment.—
Very little disturbance of the running works
of a dock would stop it. So a cold, fever,
or a fall, or a blow, or ten thousand accidents
that might happen, would stop the beating
of your heart and pulse. We ought to ob
serve daily, and try to improve the time
while it passes. We will soon be in eterni
ty. where they will no longer reckon by hours
andminutcs, or the heating of oar pulse.
llow long has your clock been running?
You coint it by years and months, but it
runs its round by minutes, and even seconds.
Each tick tells, of a change, and
is
to you. that so much more of life is gone, and
that you are eo much nearer eternity.
The Evening Before Marriage,.
"I'll tell you," continued her aura to Lou
isa, "two things which I have' fully proved.
The first will go far tosvards preventing the
fossibility . of any dir.e - erd after mart hrge; .the
decond, the hest and surest • preservative of
feminine character,"
"Tell me," raid Lonisn, anxiously.
The first is tllis: "Demand cif your bride
groom, as soon as the marriage ceremony is
over, a solemn vow,
.end promise yourself,
never, even in jest, to dispute or express any
disagreement. I tell you nevcrl—foi what•
begins in mere bantering will lead to serious
earnest. Avoid expressing any irritation- nt
ono another's words. Mutual forbearance is
the one great eeoret of domestin happiness.
If you have erred, confess it freely, even if
confession costs you some tears. Further,
promise faithfully and solemnly, never, upon
any pretext or excuse, to have any secrets
or conecahnents from ouch other, but to keep
your private affairs I rom lather, mother, bro
ther. sister, and the world. Let The w be
known only to each' other and your LI od
Remember that any third person admitted
into your confidence 1 5ecomes a party - to start
between you, and will naturally side It
one or the ethe'r. • l'rolnise to avoid this,
and renew the vow upon every temptation
It wilt preserve that perfect confidence, that
union, which will indeed make you as one.
0, if the newly married would but practice
this spring of connubial 4eace, now many
unions would be happy which arc nosy Luis
erable."—KNleKttanoctc.Ea.
WomAN's Lovz.—No roman ever loved
to the full extent of the passion, who did
not venerate where she loved, and who did
not feel humbled (delighted in that huruili•
ty) by her exaggerated and •ovorweooing es
timate of the superiority of the object of her
worship.
What state coulitiall, wlint• liberty decay,
if the zeal ofinon's noisy • patriotism vrns no
pure aa• the silent loyalty of a woman's love?
• Woman's loves ia a robe 'that wraps her
frop 'may a scoria. •
For tho It ecor4.
An Eaglishnia
Mississippi river,;ci—
ties about the London thieves. .A. Cineinati
chap named Chase, * heard these narratives
with a silent but expressive humph,• and
then remarked that ho thought the NVestern
thieves befit the London operators all hol
low.
"Why so?" inquired the Englishtunn, with
surprise. "Pray have ypu lived mewl in the
West?"
"Not a great deal. I undertook to set up
business in Dm:winos Rapids a while ago,
but "the rascally people stolo nearly every.
thing 1 had, and finally a Welch miner ran
off with my wife."
"Good God!" said the Englishman, 'rand
you never found her?"
"Never to this day. But that was not the
worst of it."
"Worst? Why what could be worse than
stealing a rnan's'wife?"
"Stealin. n his children, I should say," gala
the itnplacahle Chase.
"Children?"
"Yes, a nigger woman, who had none of
her owe, abducted my youngest- daughter
and sloped and jined the lupus."
_"Great Heavens! Did you Fee her do it?"
"See her? Yes, and she hadn't ten rods
the start o me; and she plunged into the
lake and swam like a duck—and there was
no canoe to follow with."
The Englishman laid back in his chair
and called for another mug of 'aff and 'riff,
while Chase smoked his cigar and credulous
friend at the same time most remorselessly.
"I—l shan't go any further west —I think
at length observed the excited John Bull.
"I shouldn't advise any one to go," said
Chase, quietly. "My poor brother once liv
ed out there, hut had to leave, although his
business was the best in the country."
"What business was he in?"'
"Lumbering—liad a saw mill."
"And they stole his lumber?"
"Yes and his saw-logs too,"
"res. Whole dozens of fine black walnut
logs were carried chin a single night, True,
upon my honor, sirw----.lla-tried-eNcry-way - to
prevent it, hired men to watch hie logs, but
• • 111 1 no 'tee They A billpd- 1 04 : •
oa ea'sv as if there bad been no one there.—
They'd steal 'cm out o tic mar, o o is
covers, end even out of the mill ways."
"Good gracious?"
"Just to give you an idea of how they
can steal out there,' continued Chase, send•
ing a sly wink at -the listening company,
"just to give you an idea—aid you ever work
in a saw mild"
"Never."
Well, my brother one day bought an oil
fired black walnut log—four feet three at
the butt and not a knot in it. Ile was do.
termined to keep 'that log, and hired two
Scott!bluer' to watch it all night. Well,
they took a small demijohn of whisky tvith
them, snaked the log up the side of a hill,
and sat down on the lug to play- keerds just
to keep them awake, you see. 'Twas a mon
strous big log—bark four inches thick. Well
as I was saying, they played keerds and
di unk whiskey all night—and as it begun to
grow dark they went asleep astraddle of the
log. About minute after daylight niy
brother went over to the mill to see how
they got on, and the log was gone!"
"And they sitting on it?"
"Sitting on the bark! The thieves had
drove an iron wegge into the butt end which
pointed down the hill, and hitched a yoke of
oxen on and pulled it out, leaving the ,Ediell
and Scotebers setting astraddle of it fast a
sleep.
The Englishman here arose, dropped his
cigar stump intoehe spitoon, and looked at
his watch, said be thought he would go on
deck and see how far he'd be down the river
in The morning.
ROMANTIC EPIS:)PE OF TIIE WAlL—Gen
eral .sgheridan sent, a few days ego., to iMiss
Rebecca Wright, of Winchester, Virginia,
an elegant gold wateh,an exquisitely wrought
chain, a brooch and' elm rini. The brooch
is of gold, beautifully wrought into a gaunt
/ot, and set with pearls. One of the charms,
as a correspondent informs us, is a sword
set , with diamonds. Accompanying this
magnificent gift was ap autograph letter from
General Sheridan, acknowledging Miss
Wright's Fervices, -which led to the General's
success at Winchester, in the battle of the
19th September, 1861. Miss Wright was a
young Quakeress, well known for her faith
in a united nationality, and understood to
he willing to aid the cause at any sacrifice,
When General Sheridan was is great doubt
how to act he sent a scout to the lady, who,
writing upon a slip of paper, which she
closed in tin foil, directed the - scout to place
it in his mouth, that it might escape the enc•
my's search, and thus Surnisileci the inform.
lion that enabled the General to achieve his
victory. •
A jealous husband in Mcmphig -recently
returned home in the night, and
,to his bar
I ror discovered a pair of boots near his back
door. Seizing the obnoxious articles, be
looked them io a el , set and then stealthily
crept to his wife's Led-room, hut she was a.
lone. Not patit,fied with this loot he then
!searched the house through and found ab
solutely nothing to confirm hiri suspiciims.
fie charged the lady with infidelity, never
theless, and spent the night abusing her ti
spite of her protestations. Ile had the lov
er's boots and was determined to know the
name of the owner. • In the morning he
Went to the closet and got them, and to his
confusion they proved to be his Own! . Since
that time his wife has only to say "boots"
when be gets into ti passion, and be becomes
quiet as.a instanter.
,
.A r, J DDLE By A 131111 TE ny is a heard
like common sansa? Because no woman pea.
beeses it.
yJOG - ROLLING
Moen* 'ran
FOUND
WANTING.--A renowned clergy.
man lately preached rather a . long sermon
from the text, "Thou art weighed in the bal
ance and fonud wanting.". After the, con
gregation bad listened about an hour, some
began to get weary and went out; others soon
followed, greatly to tl.o annoyance .'of the
minister. Another Timm Ptartod, whoreup.
on the parson stopped in his sermon, and said:
•'That is' right, gentlemen; as fast as you
are weighed pass out,"
fie continued lais,sermon at soma consid
erable length after that, but no one disturb.
ed him by leaving.
"Pooß, Snuff AGAIN."— I I/OW do you
do, Mr. Smith?'
"Do what?'
'Why, how do you fins yourself?'
never lose myself.'
'Well, how have you ken?' ''
"Been! been whore?"*
'Pellawl how do.you feel?'
'Feel! why, what do you mean?'-
"Good morning, Mr. Smith?''
'lt's not a good morning. It's quite wet
and nasty.
To Kirkham used to tell of a friend of
his dropping in about dinner time on an old
lady who invited, him to draworp to the ta
ble. There was a huge pie of the pot order
for dinner. The ol# lady helped him•boun
tifully, and being hungry, was doing justice
to it. 'Stranger,' said the, old lady; 'you
will find almost every sort of moat in this
pie: 'Yes, Madam,' said be 'and fish too,'
as he drew hem his lips what he imagin•
ed was the backbone of a red horse or suck
er. 'Lord have mercy,' exclaimed the old
woman, it there ain't our fine tooth comb
that Billy lost two weeks ago!'
-----
A young fellow was taking a sleigh ride
with a pretty girl, when he met a Methodist
minister who was somewhat celebrated for
tying the knot •matrimonial at short notice.—
ile stopped him, and asked hurriedly:
"Can you tie a knot for me?"
"Yes'," said Brother 1.1,_"I guy
Up - Ye - if tii-a-ririf-den
"Well, right away," was the reply; "is it
lawf_ul., though here-io-the highway'!" asked
the Ivag..
.'Oh
es this is as
_nod a
-119 safe as the church itself."
horse's tail -- to keep it out of the snowl''
shoutei the wieliod war, as be drove rapidly
•
away. •
A pions old negro woman was once caught
by her master start/log a gooso, and the•next
Sunday'she partook of the Communion, after
which hor master accosted her as follows:
"Why Hannah, I raw you to-day at the Com
munion table!? "Yes, tank the Lord, Mas
sa, was 'lowed to be dar wid de rekt.of his
family." 'But, Hannah, I was surprised to
see you Otero," he said; "how is it about the
goose?" She looked a little surprised, as if
she did not comprehend the cause of his won
der, but soon catching his moaning, exclaim
ed: "Why, Far, do you think I'm goin' to
lot an old goose stand between me and ruy
master?"
SIIORT AND SWEET.—"I can't Fpenk in
public; nover done such a thing in all my
life," said a chap the other night at a public
meeting, who.hail been called upon to hold
forth, "hut if anybody in the crowd will
speak fur ma, /7/ bald his hal."
A. Printer not long since, having been
'Along" by him sweetheart, went to the office
to commit suicide with the 'shooting stick.'
The thing wouldn't go off. The 'devil,' wish
ing to pacify him, told him to go into 11.0
sanctum, where the editor was writing duos
to delinquent eubscribers. says that
picture of despair reconciled him to his fate.
To .PROTECT SHEEP FROM Doas.---If 4111
Sheep are kept in the same lat with cows or
fat cattle, no dog will disturb them. As
soon as the dogs approach the cheep, they-- -
run to the cattle who drive off the 'dogs. A
farmer for thirty-years, iu Shelbfeounty; by
adopting; this plan, never Jost a sheep by
dogs, although in the same night the same
/1) s k lled.shcep in the fermi •north and
south of !ife.
At a celebration of a marriage, a largo
number of young ladies were present, the
minister said: "Thope wishing to. be joined
in the holy bonds of motritnony, will please
stand up;" and neatly all arose:
11==
An editor, whii was asked to respond to
a toast taThioninn, declined on the ground
that woman is able to speak for herself, and
any man who - undertakes to do it for her
will get himself into trouble,
Lucy Stone once said: "There is cotton
in the cars of man, and hopecin the bosom
of woman " Lucy made a mistake, and got
the cotton in the wrong place.
Why does the eye resemble a sohoohntot
ter in the ant of flogging? It has a pupil
under the lash,
EARLY lirstNo.--:Jump out, of bed the
moment you awake. The man who hesitates.,
when called is lost. The mind should be
made up in a minute, for early rising itone
of those subjects that admit of no turning
over.
--.• •
A DARK CoNorinaum.—"Sam, why am
de hogs d e most intelligent folks in de
world?" "Because dey nose coeryting."
A woman may epeak ae many tongues as
she will, but don't let her do it with too long
a one of ber own.
Why ie au axe like coffee! It must be
ground before it can be wad.
Why ie a grocer oat or busioeis like as
eol? Because re hasn't got any scales.
NUMBER 34
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_when