itt 3r W. 131ekir. VOLUME XX 1866, FOR SUMER. 1866. ......m..-0........-....-.. Hostetter- Reid & Co, !- WOULD respectfully announce to their cus tomers and the public generally that they have just received a new and complete stock of goods in their line; purchased it the last decline, and whiehihey offer at panic prices. Their stock of . • • Embracing in part RIO COFFEE, ••••=4,7 , P. R. SUGAR, 4:02_■.111 SUGAR Q_i) 10, 12, WHITE SUGAR, PULE' BEST SYRUPS, PRIME BAK MOLASSES, MOLASSES 0 50 CENTS, TEA - 7 H., IMP., BL'K, SUGAR CURED HAMS, CHEESE-MASON'S CRACKERB Queensware file 111.171nt. and most beautiful patterns, in sets and Common wure, good assortment ;laid prices r• *sellable. SPICE Am—Gran - n(1 Ginger, Pepper, Alepice, Claws, Cinnamon,t-- - 0 - IvenTie i-epper, Mustard, &c. These are all pure and ground expressly for ourselves. B. Soda, Cr. Tarter, Raisens, Dried Currants, and other Baking articles of best quality. Pepper Sauce, Tomato Catsup, Pickets, Cider °Vinegar. WOODENI WAKE.—Buckets, Tube, Bowes, *c. FlSH.—Mackerel, sIl grades, Shad, P. Herri ng. From our connection with Markrt Gars miming to the Eastern cities, we receive regularly VBGETAILES,, FRESH FISH, FRUITS, Everything in this line in their proper season. We will order goods of this class for parties and deliver them at short est notice. goufitry Produce bought and the highest market price paid. Terms positivel2l Cash. N. B. Thankful for the liberal share of custom we have received, we trust by fair dealing, and earnest effints to please and accommodate, to in crease our trade Still further. May 181 . HOSTETTER, REID & KEW FALL •ND vAA - ra rims GEORGE STOVER BAS RETURNED FROM . PIIIIADEL PHIA WITH A SUPPLY OF DRY GOODS AEC WS GED r3IE' AND 615 Z 34 CID LIB 545 • NOTIONS-*ENRIMI GROCERIES, * To•wliich he invites the attention of of his patrons and the public generally. October 26, 1866. TO TAO PATRONS OF TUB "Village Zt. ie icor c1.,17 Yost honored patrons; gentle friends, once more, The Aew Year finds the carrier at your door, Sedately joyous as becomes the day, He sings - spontaneously his annual lay. His generous arm the latett tidings bears, His simji•Pest wishes shape themselves to prayers, It sends you 6 reetiegliriimry—his cye—behol Each face that gladdenevi New Year's morn of old, Each bright-eyed daughterdaughter, bloom and curls, For carrier boys appreciate the girls; Men flatter ladies with affected whine, But a Boy's praise is always genuine; __= And pardon the intrusion, may he see Those generous hands well filled that used to he; Ten, twenty, fifty,—anything you please, The rare one dollar is quite as good as these, And he who drops it. whatso'cr his lot, By "one", at least shall never he forgot, Our Muse reminds us of a great event— How Bill arid Andy 'round the circle went, Will _Grantand_Parragutio_raise_a_di To softly blind and take the people in. Said Billy, "Andy, tell them 'of the stars, Before which fell Rebellion's bloody bars; give hack to them our fathers' Constitution; Which with their bloodthey_gotby revolution; Tell• them how to vote that in the fall, _ The Radicals may be slaughtered, one and all," Then • ff they started, round the circle swung, The Bread and Butter boys loud paeans sung. Grant was displayed at every Rail Road station— Billy and Andy took their whiskey ration. "God blast— hic—hic"—s ild Andy,"hcar then/ call, Grant, Grant,— nought cise,—to the Devil with them all. I tell you, Bill,—hic—hic—they do not want us, Whene'er they see me, there's a•devlish rumpus." -e ena the stars, the thirty-siz, you know, And on t Constitution, harp and blow; Tell them t Rad's got up the Orleans' fight, And played t e Devil in the Memphis riots." • So An did, t all availed them nought, With whisky an •mg the people can't ha caught. And so tl t e election ,ante; their cash, their cuff, Their 'es, the people lasted at a pull: The frie ds who tried our liberties to crush, We hol in fire wrought chains, full tight enough:,` nd so sing out : Keep ate. t the music of Union, The music our anc store sung, When Statps, like a j bilant chorus, • To beautiful sisterh oil sprung. 0, thus shall the gre• Constitution, That guards a c homes of our Land, A mountaiu of freedom and justice For millions eternally stand. East and West North and South, all unfurling One banner alone o'er the sod, One voice. from America swelling In worship of Liberty's God, Glassware Keep step with the music of Union; 'Tis thus we shall nourish the light Our fathers lit for the chained nations That darkle in Tyranny's night. The blood of the whole world is with us, O'er ocean by oligarchs hurled. And they who would darn to attack us, Shall sink with the wrath of a world. Keep step with the music of rd i tic s-- in„ • Hark ! beaming in light from on high, And circled by Liberty's Martyrs, ' Hear Lincoln, the sainted, reply— Yes, cheer for the past with its glory, For the unfettered present hurrah, And shout for the starry brewed future, With labor, and virtue, and law, Bast and West, :forth and South, all unfurling Ono Banner Mono o'er the sod, One voice from America swelling In worship of Libeity's God. Farewell, dear friends, the devious windings passed, Out "slip.shod" muse has found the cud at last; Confound the traitors. turn !heir wrath to shame, And build a new the temple of our fame; King oat oppressive hate and let us see In decd, us name,-our Fathers' land is free May al! your joys be dothled, large increase, And hope, and happiness, and health, and peace, And friends and faror throng around your way, And fill the pockets drained on Ne,w. Year's day., Dear children. generous friends, once more, ikdieu, And may the l'ye of Christ abide with von. THE CARRIER. A men living in Washington Territory has nomed an'infant on as follows: John-] lnler- Sherman Sherillan•-McPherson- Kilpatrick.. Thotnas- Butler Farragnt Lyon-G rant- 31 aek Suii th. •See that each hour's feelings and thoughts end actions are pure and true then will your life be such. The wide posture is hgt sepa rate spires of grass; the sheeted bloom of the varies but is tea flus-trs. WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, FRIDAY MORNING; JANUARY' 1861 3PCONITICJALLa. , . . ..i , (-WrSo . . - - / 1 ~ r' 4 '..-ril Y it' i. ly...C . :Ven" -- :s,`,Z.s.s2 . ~, -,,•:•: Ovi- CARRIER'S ADDRESS! The old year died last night, dear friends, The old year died last night, We heard tie town•clock striking twelve As time finished his shroud of white, And vve smoothed his gray locks tenderly back And covered his face from sight. We heard the hoof of the posting steed That his son and heir (loth ride, But just as his trot the threshold crossed, The old man• gasped and died. He said with his last expiring breath, LLet your hearts be reconciled, As ye clung to me through the past,sweet friends, Amy cling t.) this dear child." .4f%.xL IlacaelpeorLd.exLt Family Nevironz•fivem. A TRUlla 'iz''h. BY HORACE °REMY There is, even on this side of the grave, a haven where the storms of life break not, or •are but. in gentle undulations, of the uurip _pled'and mirroring _watets—an oasis, not in the desert; but beyond it; a rest, profound and blissful as that of the soldier returned for ever from the hardships, the dangers and th - iwils of war, to the bosom of that dear domestic circle of whose blessings ho never prized at half - their worth until he lost them. This haven, this rest, this oasis, is a -se rene old age. The tired traveler has• aban doned the dusty crowded and jostling high way of life for one of its shadiest and least noted b •.lanes. The din of traffic and of worldly strife has no longer magic for his ear; the myriad footfalls on the city's stony walk is but noise or nothing to him now.— He has run his race of toil, or trade, or am• bition. H is day's work is accomplished, and ho has come home to enjoy, tra quit and un• harrassed, the slendor of th , i,sunset, the milder glories., of late eveni Ask not •• • ether-ht-r-h..s not b , • according to the vulgar start'' , rd of success. What matters it now whether the multitude has dragged his chariot rending. the air .with idolizing acclammations, or howled like wol ves upon his track, as he fled by night from the fury of those he had wasted his vigor to = e-rve-?--W-hat-avails-it_that_b road_landsli ave_ rewarded his toil, or that all has at the last moment been stricken from his grasp ? Ask not whether he brio& into retirement the wealth of the Indies or the poverty, of the bankrupt; whether his couch be of down or of rashes; his dwelling a lint or mansion.— He bas lived to little purpose, indeed, if he has not long since realized that wealth and renown riffe the true ends of exertion, not absence the cone ve proof of ill fortune. Whoever see sto k ow-if his career has been prosperous an 'ghteniog from its outset to its close, if-the -evening of his days shall be genial and blissful, should ask nosiifoc broad_acres,-nor-towering-edifices,nor—laden coffers. Perverted old age may grasp those with the yielding clutch of insanity, but they add to his cares and. anxieties, not to his enjoyments. Ask rather: Has he mas tered and harmonized_his_erring passions ? Has he lived a true life ? - . Ty — vri — tedoes cacti hour knelt the conclusion and how few of them are true ones. The poor child of sin and shame and crime, who terminates her clouded being in the early morning of her scarce budded, yet blighted, existence; the desperate felon, whose blood is shed by com munity as the dread penalty of its violated laws; the miserable debauchee, who totters down toiiis loathsome grave in the spring time—of his years, but the fullness—of his feasting iniquities—these the world v i tiliant- . ly affirms have not lived true lives ! Fear less and righteous world, how ,profound and how discriminating are thy judgments ! But the idolater of self, who'devotes all his moments, his energies, his thoughts, to schemes which begin and end in personal ad! vantage; the grasper of gold and lands and tenements; the devotee of pleasure; the man of ignoble and sinister ambition; the woman of frivolity, extravagance and fashion; the idler, gambler; the voluptuary-----on all these and their myriad compeers' ' %bile hurne on the crest of the advancing billow, how gen tle is the reproof, how charitable the judge ment of the world ! Nay, does it not pick its way 'ffltintily, cautiously and inoffensive ly through the midst of drunkard making the national faith breaking ? A true life must be simple in all its ele ments. Animated by one grand and Nino lag impulse, all lesser aspirations find their prop aces in harmonious subservience; simplicity in taste, in appetite, in habits. of life, with a responding indifference to world ly honors and Aggrandizement, is the natur al result of the predominance of a divine and unselfish idea. Under the guidance of such. a sentiment, virtue is not an effort brit a law of nature, like gravitation. It is vice alone that seems unaccountable, monstrowt, -almost miraculous. Purity is felt to be as necessa ry to the mind as health to the body, and its absence alike the inevitable source of pain. A. true life must be calm. We wear out our energies in strife for gold or farms, cud then wonder alike at the cost and the worthless ness of the weed How sloth is jostled by gluttony, and pride wrestled by avarice, anu ostentation bearded by meanness!! The soul which is not large enough for the indwell ing of one virtue, affords lodgment and scope T ) and arena for a hundred vices; but Abil — tit - fare can not be indulged with itnpi(nity Agitation and wretchedness are the inavi a ble consequences, in the midst of which — the flame of life burns flaringly and swiftly to PI close. A true life must be aCtiltil and joyous Tell - nio not, pale anchorite, of your ceaseless vigils, your fasting, your scuurgings The man who is not happy in the path he has chosen, has chosen arnisis. THE SOUL MADE Visii:ll.E —.Every one knows that in every human face there i, au impalp.ble, immaterial something, we call ‘'expression," which FCOMS to he as it were, "the soul made visible." Where minds live in the region of pure thoup:hts tied e motions, the i:ecilities and sanwilies of the inner temple Ellin() out through the mortal terminent..- and ptsy over it like lambent The imeen,o makes the whole alter sweet; and we can oneeratard what the pact meaus when ho says 4 .Bomuy born of murmuring sour I Shall pm into her rice Oa the Mbar hand, no man eon lead a gor nindizing sordid or lic,...c..ations life, and still wear a countenance lialltkred and 9.lnctili e d with a halo of recce and. j y.—llonAcz A Planet in a Blaze• A correspondent of the Hartford Times has the following, which we copy for the speculation it may-afford: MEssas.' EDITORS.—The belief that this earth is eventually to be destroyed:by fire is I substantiated by the discovery that planets, -exceeding- the.earth in size, have- been sub jected to heat so intense as to entirely anni hilate them from the firmament. The keen eye of the telescope, gathering rays from the Hplenets - which are visable and flied, has at . - ' forded tho. vision of the astronomer sufficient light for him to assert that nearly two thou-, sand of these stars have disappeared from the firmament within the last four centuries. A few evenings since, while watching the firmament, with the moon at her full, my at tention was attracted to a large star which stood-a-few-degrees above the eastern hori zon, and apparently on fire, It represented very nearly a revolving beacon light— her- Dating color—first, its face presen ed a bright crimson color, then followed pale bluish tint, then it would relapse into s na tural whiten ss—presenti all the phenom ena of a large agrati hen acted upon 11 by a strong wind. am of the opinion that th - " Fi be 'lre. he star was being consumed by S. Such are the triumphs of true science (which always lead. the aspirations of man God•ward), that the laws which have pre vailed in kingdoms not made with hands, are used to embellish the Word of Truth, by the mental research of the noblest work of God --man. -W ho-dare-dispute—the-teach ings-of the revealed Word, that the earth shall no more be o'erspread with Water, but that the time shall come when our planet shall melt with fervent heat. Unaffected by this dele tion, who can say that other planets will not keep up their revolution and track the hea vens, still borrowing their dazzling splendor from the Great Central Orb. Rev. A. WEBSTER MILLS. Lebanon, Conn, December 1, 1866. Cheerful Tonics, atimulativea, medicines ! "Thereis nothing is the pharmacopoeia half so'in spiriting-as-a cheerful temper - ! — Do-not fa. cy yourself a victim ! Do not go through the world with a face half a yard long ! Do not pursuade yourself that everything hap pens wrong ! My dear friend, you are the only person that is wrong, when you say that great deal better to be without an arm or a leg, than to lack cheerfulness. What if the globe does not roll round in the precise di rection you want it to ? Make the most of it. Put a pleasant face on the matter, and do not go about throwing cold orate on the fire-sides of all the rest of mankind. If you are in want of an example look at the birds. or the very annshine on the grass ! Show us one grumbler in all nature's wide do- mains. 'The man who is habitually cheerful has found the true philosopher's stone; there is no cloud •so dark but ho sees the blue sky beyond—no trouble so calamitous but he finds some blessing left him to thank Provi dence for. He may be poor and destitute, but he walks clad in armor that all the mines of Golconda cannot purchase. Snow and rain cannot penetrate it—scorn and contume ly fall harmless from its surface. The storm that sinks a less courageous craft can only compel him to trim his sails and try again. Who would be a mere thermometer, to rise and fall in spirit with every change of life's atmosphere ? Whenever we see a man sighing and de spondent about anything and everything, we know it is his mental health that is out of "gear." Cheerfulness is all he wants. No matter how thick, and fast vexation "•ay come, there - is nothing like a bright littler: of the soul's sunshine to disperse them.— Counted in dollars ail i cents, your weak may. be a sultry sum, but if you have a cheer ful temper, you are rich. Dimensions of Heaven The calculation here made, based on a text in Revelations, is both curious and in teresting. It is copied from an old Western paper, and will suggest thoughts fur those who think_: A Description ?of Heaven.—Revelation, XXI chapter, 16th verse , : "And he Meas ured the city tvith_a reed, twelve thousand furlongs. The length and breadth and height of it are equal." Twelve thousand furlongs, 7,920,000 feet. which being cubed, is 948,088,000,000,000,- 000,000,000 cubic feet; the half of which we will reserve fur the throne of God and the Court of Heaven, half of the balance for the streets, and the remainder divided by 496. the cubical feat in the rooms 16, feet square and 16 fact high, will be 5,743,750,- 000,000 rooms. We will now suppose rho world always did and always will contain 900,000,000 of in habitants end a generation will last 331.2 years-2 700,000,000 every century, an d that the world will stand 100,000 years -27,000,000;00_0,000 persons. Then suppose' there were 11,230 such worlds, equal to this; number of inhabitants and duration of years. I then there would be a room 16 feet long,and end 16 wide and 16 . high fur each person, and yet there would' he room. Anv - Yasr"ro LITICLITION..---A New Ilamp• .hire blacksmith being urged to bring a suit against a calumnious neighbor fur dander, replied...that he could go into his shop and hammer out a hotter character than all the courts iu the state could tiro him. With ezcellent wisdom this man preferredto Loop oat of lawsuits—a chance that is generally fonnd . in the long run to he the best. Locr:—GoD—Now.—The sweetest word ill our language is 1.0V6. The greatest word iD our Isng.otage Gon. 'rho word expregs iog the shemtest lime i: ..Now. The three make the grease:; at.' 1 t-he -we. test duty man cal I'' I ru. OTHER DAY, I dream—l dream of other days; My heart will wander "back, To gaze upon the fresh young flowers That bless'd its devious track. My thoughts cling round the dreamy past, - And those lov'd angel-hours, • When life was all too bright for tears, And hope sang wreath'd with 'lowers. -I-dream-of-rtrany—peristell - hop• Of many a spoken word, . That, lost am itinthe wreck of time, Will ne'er ngair. be heard! Oh! haw the ghosts of buried joys Start up and haunt my gaze, • When o'er the tomb of Love and hope I dream of other days. Pursiuit of Knowledgb• Tho following is a most remarkable and praiseworthy instance of what perseverance and industry, rightly directed, are able to ef feet. Among the graduating class, of the last commencement at Williams' college, was 'one by the name of Condit, from Jersey.— The gentleman is a shoe-maker, mare , has a family of four children. Six years ago, becoming sensible of the blessings of an ed ucation, he commenced learning the simple branches, such as are taught in our primary schools. One by one, as he sat on his she maker's bench; he mastered grammor, arith metic, geography, &c.,_with some occasional assistance from his fellow-w - orkmen. At this time he determined to`obtain a collegiate education. Without means, and with a large family depending on him for support. he commenced and learned Latin and Greek in the evenings, after his' days' labor was over, under the direction of a friend; and af ter the lapse of a year and a half, prepared himself, and entered. the sophomore class at Williams' college. He brought his bench and tools, as well as his books, with him. The stadents suppli ed him with work; - the faculty — sesisted him; and with the fund for indigent-students-and some occasional assistance frour_otber eources he was enabled to go through tho — cTollego course, and at the same time support his fam ily. lie graduated on his birth—day—aged thirty-two. He stood high in his class, and received a part eat commencement,- but de clined. At the farewell meeting of the_class, iti — eonsitertitiniTuf his perseverance, talent: and Christian character, they presented him with an elegant set of silver spoons, tea and table, each handsomely engraved with an ap propriate inscripti on. Mr. Condit will now enter the Theological Seminary at New York, and will no doubt make a faithful and popular minister. What young man in this country will ev er, after such an example as this, despair of obtaining an education? `.l Don't Care ' Indeed, Mr. Upstart, 'ddon't • ClTe. ' So says the strutting fop, the idler, lounger, loafer. So says the vain, giddy, flirting nov el reader—the impudent miss to her mother, 'I don't care "I'll So as "please, road what I please, dress as I please!' $o says the un ruly. disobedient urchin. So says the iron hearted rumseller. The cruel oppressor, 'Let me alone, I'll do as I please, kill or no kill—l 4143't care,' says (he profane swearer an d Sabbath breaker. 'Who's a better right?' how does this sound, young friends. Little readers, do you ever say to your pa rents, teachers, or any one, don't care?'- 0, shame; shame! 'Care?' yes, you should always care; care to do good, to do what is right, honest, pure, lovely, and of good re port. Care to be affable, courteous, indus trious; neat, obedient—temperate in all things. You should care to keep good com pany, read good books, and shun the evil. You should fear God and keep his command ments, to acknowledge Him in all your ways —to do justice, love mercy, and walk hum bly, glorifying God in all things. These are the things you should care fordaily and hour ly. • There is no Rarer mark of lazy, trifling, impudent, insignificant. good for nothing chaps, than this same don't care ism; to hear them drawl out. when they do something wrong, 'I don't care.' Is it not a forerun ner-of every evil? of everything base, mean, low, corrupt, shameful? Whenever we bear a boy, girl-, or any one making use of the expression, don't care,' it forcibly reminds us of the proverb of Sol. onion: 'A whip for the horse. a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back.' FERTILIZING THE SAHARA —The Lem ''don Scientific Review says: "This vast de sert, whitened by the bones of so many un- fortunate travellers who have at various times perished on its inhospitable sands, is likely, before many ages, to be changed into a rich and beautiful country. The only cause of its sterilify • has been the absence of water.— This will ultimately be supplied by means of the artesian walls in the utmost abundance. Every day new cases tiro produced by the multiplication of these . wells, whieli supply vast quantities of water." A Gbon NuasmymaN.—At a Denver dinner party tho other day, where Salt Lake peaches and grapes formed prominent articles of the de4sert, the conversation naturally turned upon the fruits of that region. Var• ions opinions were expressed, and finally one to the effect that 13righam Young was the hest fruit gardener in the United States A lady responded: "fie certainly ought to I.e, t-ieee, froth all accounts, ho hat! the. utort tate,nsivenursery iu the word." "[lave the jitr . ; , ' agreed?" asked a ittd:T or coart uttscheu, wh,ont he met upon the s:ai►s %jilt a bucket in hie hand. ,"Yes, ) ' replied Patrick, •they have agreed to send o a for a hail gallon" - SSL Our Fortune Teller The man who is born in Au.nst into Ihe world-in the very nick of time to get adrink of new peach brandy„ He will be fond of ladies and will adore Bologna sau sage. lie will, be passionate, hot-headed and devoted tb - Swits'er-False. If an Irish man, he will_be a_bricklayer;_if a Seetchman he will brew ale; if an Englishman, he will be a tradesman; and if an American he will be an oil spectilator and make a lar• e fortune .dealing" in fancy paper. e will wear a stove pipe and will be sent to Congress or be elected to the penitentiary. The lady wbo is born in this month will be handsome and attractive if 'not othorwise. She will have rosy cheeks and bright eyes if she doesn't eat chalk and drink vinegar "to gi' e herself an interesting, delicate pallor. She will be able to talk a few, and will be either __very fond of admiration or very different from the rest of her sex. • SLe will have two husbands and will die a widow. The man born in September will be a queer baby if, he don't cry. He will be call ed a "dear little precious" by his affection ate mother, who will have a partiality for him which will not be shared by the kittens =• • • . = tre son le p ace. e wi get older and larger in the usual way, and will have a nose. It may bo red. He will sleep in the gutter under Certain circumstances and other circumstances he won't. The la dy born in this month will be fond of being courted, will wear tilters if she has a pretty foot, and ankle, and will be constant until she finds a new sweetheart, and her lips and cheeks will occasionally conic i n contact with a mustache, and she will somethnes have a jeans coat sleeve round her waist. Clinching a Sermon. I heard a sermon once from a venerable itinerant preacher on benevolence. I thought the effort vory lean, hut one thing imi ressed me a little, "Go," said be, "and do soms• thing after I have done preaching. Have it to ssytwhen I come hack, four weeks hence, that you have done something, and Ovoid and God's - word for it, you will be wetter and a happier man." I knew a poor widow living on the edge of some woods about a mile from my home. !ler husband had been dead three ve.-- two or three years, and with three beln• leis little girls she had a hard conflict with poverty. .1 had often spoken kindly to hi r and thought my duty ended when. the words were . o net; tut w ten the sermon of the old white-headed preacher was done, the res olution was fortncrt to,go and do something. Next day I visited the cellar and measured a bushel of potatoes, a bushel of apples, and variety of other things, and having put them into a wagon, started for the cottage of the widow. A load of wood for which I paid three dollars, preceded me. An hones drive brought both loads in front of the ho.tso, and when explanation was given there were wet eyes and warm hearts in both parties. The widow. wept for joy-suck the children joined in, while I, find ing my feelings too much for my strength, had to give sway also in tears 'I he act was one that give me a new spiritual start; and when the preacher came back, I thought the discourse ono of the most eloquent I had ev cr listened to. The change was y in myself, not in him or his preaching. COARBF, BUT STINGING.-A brow counsel asked a witness during a trial sault, at what distance he was from the per ties when the assault baripened. He repli ed: "Just four feet five inches and a half." "now come you to be so very fine% fel low?" said the counsel. "13cesuse I expected some fool or other would ask me," said he, "so I measurel it." The cele . nrated rortrait painter, Stuart, once met a lady in the street in Boston, who saluted him with, "Ah. /11r. Stuart, I have just seen your miniature, and kissed it be. cause it was so much like you." "And 'did it• kiss you in return?' "Why, no?" "Then said Stuart, "it was not like me " In Dublin, a great Methodist orator once attempted to preach from the text, "Remem ber Lot's wife," and made n failure. After wards remarking to Dr. Bad that ho did not know the reason of his failure, the ven erable doctor replied that "he had better herealter let other people's wives alone." "Muss," said Ginger, "what had you rath er ride in—a Aragon tsid Iklassa Kost a drivin' or steam boat?" "Wy, I'd radder, ride in de wagon, be• km if it npaets, dsr you is:—but if de steamboat blows up' de Lord only knows mbar you nm. n Irish an, nn hearing of a friend bar ing a ) coffin made f..r himself, exe!airti e.d: "By my sowl and that's a good idec Sure.sad a stone m•ilin last a wan Lis lite time" Quilp thinks it rather remarkable that while several tlinusnnd feet are rerinired ro wake ono rood, a single toot, properly appli ed, is often t , afficieut to woke ono civil. Snoakey says: "The prettiest s-ming m*. chine io the world is about. seventeen yearn old, with'short sleeves, lew ticek dress, and gaiter boots on." "Do you like nnve's?" asN Mies Fitzge- - rald of her back woods !over. "I can't exy; I never ate any; but Pm death, on peeltuw.' 'lh Are iRa eirl in (3 ,, oinna,ti snell a hard at knitting thar when bhe has uothiag to do R ho knit;: at.tr brow ll'lLy is a romve like an-old Kmoker? Bs ci,n•a it cinnot do witii . atat a pipe ° Nitellen girls are now termed "dm yrtin,7 ) lames of the other par'or. BER 27 II come