jES7 • 331Et3,r.
VOLUME XX
NEW SPRING
AND
2UNNIEINJBDS,I
GEORGE STOVER
1 - 1 SS - RETURNED - FROM - P rLA-DLL
PHU WITEI A SUPPLY OF
Ky. Gools
•
. NOTIONS, INMSIVARE
4.1“)
GRocE . RiEs-,
Star To which he invites the attention of
of his patrons and the, public generally.
March, 80, 1866
AMERICAN LIFE INSURANCE AND
TRUST CO,
Corner Fourth and Walnut Streets, Philadelphia
incorporated 1850. Charter Perpetual. A tither
ized Capital, $500,000. Pahl Up Cap tW, $250,000
Philadelphia, Feb. 4, 1861.
The Trustees have this day declare& ,a Dividend'
of FIFTY PER CENT, on all premiums received
upon Nlerem. Pumas during the year ending De
cember 31m, 1863, and in force at that date, the a
bove amount to be credited to said Policies, and
have also ordered the Dividend of tB6O on P o licies
issued during that year to be paid, as the annual
premiums on ,said-Polieies are received.
OFFICERS.
President—Alexander Whilldin.
.Secretary and Treasurer—John S. 'Wilson.
:Actuary—John C Sims.
BOA RI) OF TRuSTEES=Alexander «'hill
11n, Edgar Thomson, Coorge Nugent, Hon. Jas.
.Pollock, Albert C. Roberts. P. B. Atingle, Samuel
Work, William J. Howard, Hon. Joseph Allison,
Samuel 'F. BOJine, John Aik man, Charles F. Benz
litt, Isaac Hazlehurst.
WM. G.TEED, Chamberahurg Pa., is the general
Agent of the American Life insurikuce and Trust
Ci.mpany fur Franklin Co.
'Jos.,l)conss, Agent for Waynesboro' and vicin
ity.
IZEFERENCES.—Jons Pamirs and Wti.t,vx
BnoTnsnros•
Call and get a pamphlet.
4os. DOUGLAS, Agent.
Ort. 13, 1836,
EAGLE HOTEL.
Central Square, Hagerstown, Md
7Lc ,
, HE above well•known and established Hotel
has been re-opened and entirely renovated, by
t undcraigned, and now offers to the public every
comfort and attraction found in the • best hotels.—
THE TABLE is bountifully supplied with every
delicacy the market will afford, THE SALOON
contains the choicest liquors. and• is constantly and
nkilfuffy attended. TILE STABLE is thoroughly
repaired, and earful Ostlers always ready to ac
comuiodute 7tomers.
JOHN FISHER, Proprietor.,
:• Hagerstown, June 2 —ff. , '
BARBERING I BARBERING I
17111 E subscriber would inform his customers rd
_IL the public generally that he purposes contin
uing the Barbering business, next door to the New
Grocery. having .purrhaepd the interest of C. C.
Rikiyual in the Shop andiis now prapareato do hair
cutting, shaving, shampoontng. etc., in the best
kyle,- The patninage of the public is respectfully
solicited.., • IVA!. A PRICE.
/ 4 49 11 , lA* . .
WAYNESBORO, FRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, FRIDAY MORNING, OCTOBER 19, 1866.
3PCPIEITICIAg
[ORIGINAL.]
BEATRICE MI BEAUTIFUL QUEEN
EY SIDNEY OF O.
•
•
I crown thee sovereign of my heart,
Beatrice my beautiful Queen.
I would love thee as thou art,
Beatrice my beautiful Queen, .
Enraptured I gaze on thy peerless form,
. Enchanted by the matchless beauty of thine eyes
That cause so many-sighs,
From me whO durst not adore.
Thy smile is like a sun beam,
• '
Beatrice my beautiful Queen.
Thy laugh is music, like the murmur of a stream,
Beatrice my beautiful Queen.
When thou dust speak, methinks the gods (loth
bark,
For thy sweet voice must charm their very souls,
So like the magic echo of a lute
That rolls through vale and park,
Venus bears to thee a diadem,
Beatrice my beautiful Queen.
Juno adds a glittering gem,
Beatrice my beautiful Queen.
The gods do tiomage.to thy wonderous charms,
They bow a; beauty's splendid shrine with great
alarms, . .
For fear mankind should rob them of their treasure
From which they.find much pleasure.
One night I kissed thee in my dreams,
Beatrice my beautiful Queen.
But alas the joy was transient, as the lightnings
gleams,
liestiice my beautiful Queen.
I lingered but a moment in that blissful slate.
The next I had awoke, oh cruel fate,
Elysium with its glory faded' from me,
Veatriee, glieen_ of my_beart_had _vanished —I
was free.
DREAMING AND DOING.
TM W. B. CIAFENEY
'Tis well, perhaps, in childhood's dam
To dream o'er life, and idly plan
The noble acts and deeds to be
Accomplished by tire future man :
But as years pars, a doer be
Within this "wide, wide world of strife;'
Aye, mortal, make activity
The crowning Ajax of your life.
Work fur the right, where'er you he,
And Lot for Mammon's gilded pelf;
Work • in the ranks of Faith and Hope,
For God, your neighbors and yourselt
Bury your dreams in Letho's stream,
And act in mercy, truth and love;
This will secure F • lvsium's crown,
Victorious,•in Heavcn above !
Then up! shake off all wakeful dreams;
Join in the good work always near;
Dwell not upon Herculean tasks,
•
1)0 every humble act revere;
The brooks and riVera from ttie sea,
And oaks were acorns once, we know—
• Tile plods of life, with master skill,
To an eternal mount may grow
Sorrow for the Dead.
We cannot but weep for the dead. Even
when every feeling, when our reason, warn
us that the transition to them frond life to
immortality is full of happiness, that they
hare welcomed the voice of the angel of
death as the harbinger of peace, the herald
of joy. We weep over, the grave, even
when we know it is the bed of rest for which
the weary sufferer' longed, as the way-worn
traveler for his home. When compelled to
look; us it were, from the chambers of re
joicing upon the dismal, dark abode of the
dead; our hearts are chilled as it stands in re
lation to ourselves, the happy, the rich, the
loved; we forget to contemplate it in relation
to the wretched, the poor, the desolate. who
are gone to occupy it. Even in our sorrow
for the dead, our tears are stained, by the set
fishness that makes half our mortality; the
shadow of death falls upon ourselves, and af
ter the first bitter pang, the conviction that
something we loved is gone beyond the voice .
of our affection, . we begin to sorrow, partly,
for that we too must die! If the recollection
of a ditty, of a kindness, can give us a fere
taste of the charity that may be felt in heav
en, it is when the object upon whom It ha - s
beep conferred, has passed the precints of
the Comb, To be conscious that we have
cheered the heart that has ceased to beat, is
one of the first best consolations that softens
our grief fot "the dead we have buried out
of sight."
TUE COST or WA,U.—Crive me the money
that has been paid in war, and I will put
chase every foot of land upon the globe. I
will clothe every man, woman and child, in
an attire that kings and queens would be
proud of. I will build a school-house upon
every bill-side, and!in every valley over the
whole habitable earth I will build an acad
emy in every town, and endow it; a college
iu every State, and fill it with able profes
sors. I will crown every - bill•with a church,
e It:merited to the promulgation of the ges
ot-peace. I will Support io the pulpit
an able teacher of righteousness, so that on
every Sabbath morning . the chime on one
hill should answer to the chime on another
round the earth's broad circumference, and
the voice.of prayer and the. song. of praise
titiould ascend like a • universal - holocaust. to
heaven.,--Steppitv: .
.E 3 Famllg Zirestrytrisitristriew i Iricleepertclemit 12.1t)c)13. all 101.z.bie0et9.
Only a Look and a word.
Two little boys stood together on the corn
er of a street. The face ef the elder was
flushed with anger, but the younger was cry.
ing, as if his poor little heart would break
" What is the matter with that child?"
asked a gentleman, of the larger, "did you
_ .
strike him?"
"No, I didntt do anything to him I only
gave him a look and a word, and he began
to cry like a-baby, just for that!"
"Only a look and a word!" Ah, but what
kind of a look and a word were they, think
you, dear little readers? Surely not those
of love and gentleness, or (hey wonld not
have made the little boy cry so bitterly.
Only a look and a word! These are both
little things, a glance shot from the eye—a
motion from the lip, that is all. But it is
the meaning of the gloomy, the idea convey
ed by the word which gave them their pow
er; they come from the heart and go to the
heart. They have done more good in the
world than gold—more evil than war and
pestilence.
HOW the mother's look and word can quiet
children's fears and quell their passions?
Bow dear is the first word from baby lips
—how fondly treasured in the heart the last
word of the beloved dead? Little things
thennay be, but they are mighty messen
gers for good or evil. They fly forth, like
the gentle dove, bearing blessings on their
airy wings; like the raven, they brood with
darkness and discord over this beautiful
earth. They can pour oil upon the troubled
waters and apply balm to the wounded spir
it;. or they eau scatter fire brands, arrows•
and death,
Kind words are looked upon like jewels in
the breast, never to be forgotten, and per
haps to cheer by their memory, a long, sad
life, while words of cruelty or carelessness
are like swords in the bosom, wounding and
leaving sears which will be borne to the
grave by the victim. Do you think there
Is any bruised heart which bears the mark
of such a word from you? If there is a living
one which you have wounded, hasten to heal
it, for life is short; to-morrow may be too
lute.—
onlychildren, use the power of the eye
only for good. , If you find cold or' angry
os.starting—to-your-eyear4uat—elose-tho
lids and keep them in if harsh or cruel
words rise upon the tongue, shut the teeth
and lips. These are the defences whereby
yon may imprison these poisoned arrows,
that they may escape not on their mission of
unkindness. You may be small and weak,
and poor, so that you see no way in which
you can bless others. Scatter, like a show
er of jewels, loving glances wherever you
go, and you will soon see what happiness of
ten conies from only a look and a word.
What Congress Demands of the
South.
The Amendment to the Constitution pro
posed by Congress as the basis of the re-ad
mission of the rebellious States to represen
tation to that body is briefly as follows :
First—The first clause secures civil liberty
to all• citizens of the United States Whether
• native born or naturalized; declaring that no
State shall deprive any person of life, liberty
or property without due process of law, nor
deny to any person within its, jurisdiction
Abe .equal protection-of—the — laws. Can any
honest man oppose this ?
Second—The second clause equalizes the
power of the white man in all the States.--
It prevents the representation in Congress by
the disloyal whites of the Southern States of
the negro population, and prevents the white
man in Mississippi and South Catalina from
casting two votes for President to one east
by the white man in Marylind or Pennsyl
vania. Can any honest white man dispute
theinstice of this ?
'.liird—The third clause excludes from
holding office, either under the United States
or any State, all persons who, as officers of
the United States, or as executive, legisla
tive or judicial officers of any State, have
heretofore taken an oath to support tho,Con
stitution of the United States, and have en
gaged in insurrection against the same, or
given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof,
unless Congress by a two-thirds vote shrill
remove such disability. The object of this
is to exclude loading Rebels from office, and
to place the control of the insurreotionary
States in loyal hands. .Who but a Rebel,
and a leading Rebel at that, can object to
This proposition ?
Fourth—The fourth clause guarantees the
payment of the public debt, and of the pen
sums and bounties granted for services ren
dered in suppressing the rebellion—prohibits
the assumption or payment of the Rebel debt,
or for slaves emancipated. What loyal heart
does not respond to this proposition as just
and right? •
When Admiral Farragut was ton years of
age, his father, then an officer of rank in
the United Stat's Navy, and high in the es•
timation 'of 'the Government, said, in his
son's hearing, w'aen be (the boy) was old e
nough to make a contract and keep it, he
had a bargain to offer him. The son rose
up and asked his father , to state the terms of
the compact, The . , admiral said:
“The proposal I intend to make is this;
!f you will nat smoke• or chew tobacco, drink
intoxicating drinks nor strong wines, till
you are twenty-one years of age, I will then
give you $1,0011."
"I tun old enough to make that bargain
now," said young Farragut, will accept
that offer."
The bargain was closed. And on the at
tainment Farragut's nolority the cash
was handed out. •
Said a erazy.woman of a penurious, stin g y
MAO, "Do you see: that man? You could
blow.' his soul throw a bumming bird's quill
into a .rnosquitu% •d e t . and the mnrquito
wonld!t wink,:"‘•
Dove• Tailing. •
In the Western stage coaches with their
three seats, each seat accommodating three
passengers, the •arrangement of leg•plaeing
not unfrequently leads to fierce outbreaks of
ire. An old lady got into a coach at Peoria,
ose uncompromising ro y an. .-
pishness of temper, combined with a most
unaceommottating pair of legs, rendered her
the most undesirable via-a via that a trave
ler could be' affected with. The modest
bashfullness of the individual sitting before
her prevented his remonstrating against the
injustice of the proceeding; so, after unmiti
gated suffering for fifty miles, borne with
Christian resignation, he disappeared frpm
the place of his martrydom, and his place
was occupied by a bard-featured captain of
one of the lake stembosts, known as the
Old Commodore, whose sternness and deter
mination of purpose plainly indicated that
he was warned of the purgatory in store for
him, and was resolved to grapple gallantly
with the difficulty.
As he took bis seat, and bent his head to
the right and left over his knees, looking as
it were for a place to bestow his legs, an o
minous silence prevailed in the rocking coach
end ail anxiously waited the result of the at
tack which this bold man was evidently
meditating.
The skipper prtainly imagined that Lis
pantomimic) indication of discomfort would
have a slight effect; but when the contrary
was the v:..lt,—tuid—tlrei — tigeompromising
knees wedged him into the corner. he bent
toward his tormentor, and solemely exelaina
ed:
"I guess, warm, it's got to be sooner or
later; so you and I, warm, must dove
tail." .
The lady bounded from her seat, aghast
at the mysterious proposition, exclaiming.
"Must what sir?" .
"Dove-tail, maim. You and Vie got to
dove-tail, and no two ways about it."
"Dove-tail me, yon inhuman savage?" she
roarded out, shakingler fist, in the face of
the skipper, who leaned back into his cor
ner. "Dove-tail a lone waman in a Christian
country! If there is a law on earth, air, and
in, the State of Illiuoy, I'll have you hang
ed! "Driver, stop the coach!" she shrieked
em_the_win.4 , 44 It I I .
this man? My husband shall know of this
as sure as shooting! Open the door, I say,
and lot.me out!"
And in spite of all our expostulation and
explanation of the science of "dove•tailing"
—t ha t is, mutually accommodating each
other's legs—she left the coach, and sought
shelter in a house at the roadside: and we
beard her, as we drove on , muttering:
"Dove tail me, will they? The' Irijun sava
ges; if there's a law in Illinoy, I'll have him
hanged:"
Not Bad.
One of our "Down East" active young'
men, not a hundred miles from
,Boston, was
master era small
.oraft, usually employed in
the coasting business. It so happened, on
a certain time, that our hero was run into
by a steamer, and so serious was the collis
ion 'that not only was the craft badly crip
pled, but its worthy master almost came -to
an untimely end. He was not far from port
when the catastrophe took place, so hasten
ing to the city ho demanded_of_the—steam
[Mat company damages which they refused
to pay His rage knew no bounds, He
would have justice. • Starting up town he in
quired for the best lawyer in the city. He
was directed to Choate & Bell. Finding the
place he strode in and asked if "Squire Choate
was in."
Ile received a reply that Mr. .Choate was
in, but was engaged inside, and at the same
time services offered by one of the lawyers
in the outer office. "No," said ho, "I don't
want any understrappers. I came here and
want to see Squire Choate." In a short
time he was told ..hat he could see Mr. Choate.
Proceeding to Mr Choate's room, he offered
his large hand to the great lawyer, with the
remark, ."Ilow are ye, Squire? I've got a
big case for ye." Mr. Choate found that he
had an original ehatacter to deal with, and
listened to his complaint. Mr. Choate wrote
a letter and told him to take it to the com
pany. Bit our friend objected. "No, that
wont do; just slay a writ on to urn. Yes,
write urn a letter and they'll put - their pro
perty out of their hands. Thai's the way
the lawyers do down home. Pu t urn
through."
After some persuasion on the part of Mr.
Choate, our friend reluctantly took the let-
ter and departed for the other party. When
they saw th 6 letter written in those unintel
ligible crow's tracks, with that unique sig
nature of Rufus Choate, a terror of all hav
ing acquaintance with the coin t when he ap
peared as their opponent, they quickly set
tled with the Captain on his own terms.
Our friend was mightily pleased, and his
gratitude to Choate knew no bounds. Rush
mg into the gentleman's office, he said most
eagerly: "Squire yer got um; forked right
over; what's per bill? Mr. Choate replied,
thal as he had spent no time he would char g e
him nothing. The Captain was indignant.
"That ain't the way we .do business Clown
our.way. I can afford to pay you well, and
I will.' fie drew a dollar from his pooket,
and pushing it toward the great attorney
said: "Squire, you did a big ihidg for me,
and I will pay you well for it; here is a dol
lar; 'taint a coat too much."
MY WunE..-She tied the Ile* cravat
which she so kindly made me; then smooth
,ed with care. my hat, and with her arms de
layed me; she brushed my 'glossy hair,' and
said 4 it, was so curly!' - While going down
the stair she oried.-.Cotne home, 'tear ear-
Itowhappy then, was 1,, wilt all I e'er
desired; I fortune could defy .while that I
was admircdt, we parted ut the, door-her
smile deserved. s sonnet!' "Dear tore', but .
()le thing. more-,-,I Want—a new fait bonnoit!
A VERY APT REPLY.- , 4. .soldier Who
served with distinction as Colonel of a Miehi.
gan regiment ,was. approached by an officer
who supports Johnson, •with a suggestion
that, as military men, they• ought to pay
their respects to President Johnson upon
"s - arrival - at - Toled _
"You may but I will not." replied the
Michigan Colonel, •"for I have PO respect for
him."
"But," quoth the Johnsonian, "you will
go with us and show your respect for Giant
and Farragut, who acoompany hint, won't
you?"
"My dear sir," replied the Colonel, there
was once in old lady who kept a boarding
house for laborers One morning she came
across a piece of tainted beef which she pur
chased cheap and boiled for dinner. -It
'smelt to heaven' and not a hoarder would
touch it. That evening she sliced and fried
it, but it wouldn't do—it still smelt. The
newt morning she Made hash of it, but it
smelt louder and louder, when a boarder, who
could stand , it no longer, spoke his mind;
Look here, old lady, you may bile it, you
may fry it, or you may spile good potatoes
by hashiu it with 'em, but that meat, stinks,
and you can't crowd it down me in any,
shape.
"Now," continued the very positive Colo
nel, "you may take Johnson boiled, fried
or sandwiched between two as good potatoes
as Grant and Farragn t, and he still stinks.—
You can't crowd him down m e at any
price."
The
The conversatiott closed abruptly.
Accidental Insurance•
. Between Kenosha and Milwankie an agent
of the Travelers insurance Company of Hart
ford entered the oar, and having issued tick
ets to several passengers, approached an el
delly lady who, it afterwards appeared, was
deaf:
'Madam, would you like to insure against
accidents?' inquired the" agent, at the same
time-exhibiting his tickets.
'I got my tiekot down to Kenosha.'
'Not a railroad ticket, madam; I want to
knoW if you would like to insure your life
against accidents.'
'l'm going to Oshkosh to visit my darling
Lp_there and Imajnat.
got a baby.'
The agent raised hie voice a little
`Would you like to insure your life against
aociden
'She's been married two years and a half,
and that's the first child. It's a gal.'
Agent still louder—
'', am an insurance agent, madam. Don't
you want to insure your life against acci
dent?'
"She got along first-rate, and is doing as
well as could be expected.' .
Agent at the top of his voice—
'l am an insurance agout, madam; can't I
insure your life against accident?'
'O, I didn't understand you,' said the old
lady 'No, her name is Johnson, my name
is Evans, and I live five mile's from Keno
sha:
The Moral Market.
The following report of clatters in the mor
al market has been made. We hope it is
not en_tirely_ correct.
Honor—Scarce. .oil stock exhausted
and the new crop will be a complete fail
ure.
Virtue—Old growth nearly consumed.—
Young—growth prospects very unpromis•
ing.
. Honesty—none in market.
• Patriotism—First quality scarce—none to
be disposed, of. Second quality easily bought
on speculation at 100 per cent. discount.
Prudence—All in the hands of old stock•
holders.
Modesty—Stock badly damagod—aono for
sale.
,„
Viee—maraet overstoeked.
Pride—Market glutted.
Politeness—Cheap. Holders unwilling to
dispose of Stook at the present rates.
Scandal—None at "wholesale, dealt in brief.
ly by hawkers and peddlers at retail.
Love—None offered—except for the green
hacks.
Talent--:Scarco article. Sold exclusively
for oash.
Consistency—Out of fashion.
Coo9eit—"Going to waste by scho)l-bas
kets full.
TnE WRONG LADY —A gentleman, wliose
lady was suffering from a cold, got up at mid
night and went below to fetch a mustard
poultice. In his agitation' he mistook the
room on his return, and went into one where
there was a light burning as dimly as that
he left—a rooraaltogether similar, and •ap
parently his Wife in bed fast asleep. lie ap.
plied the mustard poultice to her chest, and
sat quietly waiting at her bedside till it be
gan to draw. It did draw; but it drew an
infurated scream from the young lady who
had been the subject of his unconscious so
licitude, At the sound of the unaccustom
ed voice, the nature of the accident which
had befallen him and his patient was at once
visible, and he, rushed headlong from the
arms of the mustard woman into the arms ci
his own. Both parties told their story the
next day, and had to retire amid the laugh
ter of all the occupants. • •
The following is a verbatim renort of a
speech delivered at s. religious meeting in a
town in. Massaohnsetts, by a good pious dea
con- It is a queer combination of terms cm.-
tally : "illy, female brethren, it is ,of the.
most 6.nightest invortanee that we should be
clothed in white remnant;
A. stupid fellow being seen, one day in a
singular attitude, stooping d,wn with his
}mad bOween his legs, was asked the rea
son, to whiahte,teplied that he wisliok( to
see' ow the_pain in the back of his. head
lo; kecL' •
iiiastio I:Pew -41443ar.
HAPPY EVERT/ bAY..-=Sydney Smith eat
the following from, a n ewspaper and rinser. ,
ved'it for himself:—
.'"When you rise in the morning, forte a
resolution - to make the' day a happy one to a
fellow-ereature., It is eta done. a left -off
7 - ie-man w o needs it, a kind
word to the sorrowful, an encouraging expres
sion'• to the striving--trifles in themSeßes
light as 'do it, at least for the twen
ty-four haute. •And if you are young, de
pend upon it, will tell when you are old;.and
if you are old rest assured it will send you
gently and happily down the stream of time
to eteiWity. By the most simple arithme ,
tick! sums, hick at the result. If you send
one person, only one, happily through • the
day; that is three hundred and sixty-five in
the course of the year. And supposing you
live forty years only after you commence
that course of medicine, you have. made 14,-
606 beings happy; at all events, for a time."
During the late election campaign in Penn
sylvania, the following amusing incident oc
curred at a political meeting, much to the
discomfiture of a spread eagle orator. He
spoke with earnest gesticulation, as follows:
Air. President and Fellow- Citize2ta
would that on the morning of the 10th of
October next, I had the wings of a bird.
would fly to every county, to every town,
'aye, to every village and every hamlet in
this• kilned land, and proclaim to every man,
woman and child, the success of the par
ty., ; •
At this moment a small boy in the crowd
called . out : 'Dry up ! you darned old fool.
Yoe'd'get shot for a goose before you flew a
mile
Stamp speaker wilted, and small boy took
the floor,
A MISTAKE IN A BARBER'S SHOP.—An
amusing mistake occurred in a Baltimore bar
ber's shop a few days Since. Two gentlemen
hung ttp their coats and sat down to be shav
ed at about the same time. ' One of them for
whom the operation was completed first. a
rose, and 'by.mistake donned the other's coat'
in the pooket of which was a wallet contain
s2,soo. Off be walked, but a policeman
soon overtook him. When the charge a
gainst-him-was-explaitred-he became
,greatly
alarmed about the safety of his own coat,, in
the pooket of which was the sum of 5,000.
Explanations followed, coats were exchang
ed, and each found his Money sate.
Young lady
,sweeping the street with a
trail two yards long. A young man stepped
upon it, partly tearing it from the waist:
She turned slowly upon him and•said;—
'Sir, you,are a rowdy.'
Ile retorted, !Madame, you are a dowdy.'
'lf I were a man, 1 would thrash you,'
said she.
'lf you were pretty, I would kiss you,'
said he.
This is insufferable,' said The lady gather
ing up her calico and turning away.
.That is true,' he replied, 'whether \ ypur
remark applies to yourself, your dress, or Eke,
weather.'
There is a story of a celebrated French
preacher, who ondelivering-a-serman-on - the
duty of wives, see opposite in this
congregation a woman who has been guilty
of the sin of disobedience to her husband,
and in order to point her out to universal
condemnation I will fling my breviary at her
bead. He lifted his book, and every female
head instantly duakei.
A man, when asked a few days ago, what
induced him to make a lawyer of hig son, TO
plied:
"Oh, he was always a lying little fellow;
and I thought I,d humor him io his lea rig
propensity."
A scared individual who was dodging an
infuriated bull behind a tree, exclaimed :
"You ungrateful beast, you; yoU wouldn't
toss a consistent vegitarian, who never ate
beef in his life, would you Y Is that the re
turn you make.?"
A friend sap:ales either head and ears in
love, or else hes got the colic—he can't tell
which, as he is not certain which •he tasted
last, kisses or watermelons.
A young lady down east advertised for
tho young man that "embraced au opportu
nity; and says if he will come over to their
town .ho can do.better.
The too freiluent we of authority imparen
it. If thunder were continual, it would. ex.
cite no more sensation than the noise of a
When you go to bed, why is your slipper
like an unsuccessful dun ? Because it is put
a till the nest day.
Why are washerwomen the silliest of peo
ple ? Because they put out their tubs to
catch soft water when it rains hard.
Qo a ehild being told that he mast be bro
ken ola bad habit, be naively replied: Pa
pa, hadn't I. better be mended r
A woman shouldn't be too sweet, to Be
smeared with honey is to be:teased. by in-
Why was Adam the happfeat man that
ever-lived? • . - ••'
Because Au-hadn't Amy- mether-in-lest.
Always 5e as' witty as you can with your
parting,- bow—yotir last speech is the (me re
membered. '
What kind of braces do. !adios prefett--
Embraces,. . '
"AF whatleieeil were -
most nohappy?l, In the
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NUMBER - 16