3131 r 'NTT. Slain.
VOLUME. XX
NEW SPRING
AN 11,
SIMEn' EMI
GEORGE STOVER
LIAS RETURNED FROM PRILADEL
PHIA WITII A SUPPLY OF
Hy COOIS,
•
NOTIONS, QUEENSIVIIIE
AIN 0
GRocER
y
lam• To which he invites the attention or
of his patrons and the public generally.
Afar ch. 30, 1.866.
AMERICAN . LIFE INSURANCE AND
TRUST,CO. I
Corner Fourth and Walnut Streets, Philadelphia
Incorporated 1850. Charter Perpetual. Author
ized Capital, $500,000. Paid Up Capital, $5:50,000
Philadelphia, Feb. 4, 1864.
•
The Trustees have this day declared a Dividend
of FIFTY PER CENT, on all premiums received
upon Mua•cna Pottems during the year ending De
cember 31st, 1863, and in force at that date, the , a
bove amount to be credited to said Policies, and
have also ordered the Dividend of 1860 on Poli c ie s
issued during that year to be paid, as the annual
premiums on said Policies arc received.
OFFICERS.
President—A lex:m(ler VVhiliclin.
Secretary and Treasurer—John S. NN
Actuarg--.lohn C Sims.
BOARD OF TRUSTEES.—Alexander if
din, J. Edger Thomson, Goorge Nugent, Hon. Jas.
Pollock, Albert C. Roberts, P. B. Mingle, Samuel
Work, William J. Howard, Hon. Joseph Allison,
Samuel T. Bodine, John Aikman, Charles F. Heaz
litt, Isaac Haziehurst. •
Wu. G. Rsen, Chambersburg Pa., is the general
Agent of the American Life Insurance and Trust
Company lor'Franklin Co.
Joe. Houous, Agent for Waynesboro' and vicin
ity.
REFERENCES.--Joust Pnudes and W/LLIMI!
H BROVIICRTON.
• Call and - get a pamphlet.
JOS. DOUGLAS, Agent.
Oct. 1865, ly.
EAGLE HOTEL.
Central Square, Ilagerstown, Md
I
HE 'above well•krawn and established .Hotel
.has been re-opened and entirely renovated, by
t le X
undersigned, and now offers to the public every
comfort and attraction found in the best hotels.—
THE TAIII.E•is bountifully supplied with every
delicacy the' market 'will -afford, THE' SALOON
contains the choicest liquors. and is constantly and
skilfully, attended. 'THE STABLE is thoroughly
repaired, and' crficTal Ostiersr'rilways ready 'to ac
commodate. customers.. • •
.. JOHN FISHER, Proprietor.
iiagerstow's';Jnne. 2— tf. ,_ . , ,
MILLERS AND MILL NNW. •
you
ir . HE undareigned (Miller st J. ("m11;1001'4 IM'ill.
• near ' Waynesboro ',) hue the right..for Franklin
'nty, end ;IS. prepared to giro instructions; or
put i on D.^W.; 1r horapeon'ti Annular Groove—Burr
Press -:-Withlinproved draft without quarters. This
Brews orilreauheiturrs to grind .one ir o one•
half faster. with the same gnu) of water, grinkpool
'mil lioltifreer, make.;betterfisitr and, more of it Tor particulars null . on the subscriber.
June 15...4m. • W. J. GALBRAITH. •
WAYNESBORO, FRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSVIAVANIk FRIDAY'MORNIAG, SEPTEMBER 28, 18604
I~OF~'I'I~,gL.
Off ! LET ME 1113 TOUR ROT AGAIN.
[The folloWing lines were suggested on hearing
of the death of a yedng man of great wealth, who,
on the night of his deith; laid his•head in his moth
er's lap, and said : "Let me be your boy again,
mother; let me be your little boy again; kiss me,
dear mother." Continuing this strain of pose emo
tional sentiment fora few minutes, he suddenly.roae,
threw back his head, and died on the instant
Roll back, ye years of youth's-bright joys----
Roll back, proud mannood'is . riper years;
Roll back, e'en let my childish &are,
ome 4 ome wn t leso pleasant toys;
Which whiled my happy hours nivay,
When dawned my early childhood's days.
Steal o'er me once again, those dreams
01 childhood's pure and holy love,
Which lighted from the iealms sb' • -•
My path shone clear as limpid streams,
Which sparkling in the noontide sun,
•
My life • reflected as they mn.
Kiss me, my mother dear, once more,
Oh let. me be your boy again--
Let me but heir that soft, sweet strain,
And soothe my spirit as yore;
Now fold me in your.loved embrace,
From my sad soul each sorrow chase
Am I, dear mother, lolied by thee,
As well, as when - io - childhood'a time
My •love was purely, fondly thine,
I knelt in pr tyer besidi thy knee;
And asked for mercy, grace and light,
To guide my youthful steps aright I
- He rose and 'stretched his hand towards heaven
With upturned fade—he gasped for breath,
While on his brow the seal of death
' Was fixed; the vital cord was riven,
And his pure spirit rose-above '
To the Angel world of light and love.
.'Thus do' we see,,through all life's way.
That mystic cord--a momen's Lovs•
Unchanging as the powers - above,
Which points fit soul to endless day—
That holy love, which felt from birth.
Still lives, when earth returns to earth,
IVEISSIC33EIII-sl-1.Jah.2.01 - Ir.
WHAT LITTLE FOXES DID
1 was on a visit to my'grandiather, one of
the pioneer farmers, of Central New York,
and we had started oat for a ride. The
first house we pas'sed W 39 in so many re
spects like my grandfather's that it thew my
attention.
•Fora• good neighbor seems to have hid
some bloats like yours, ciandfither.' I said.
'The man that built this house had. No
neighbor of mine now, pour man?" and my
ortindfarther drew a long breath.
Then after a pause his voce changed.
'These foxesl these little fi*esi, I hate
them! Nobody fears them, nobody minds
them, yet they ruin everything. The beasts
of prey are not halls() dangerous. The lit.
tie - foxes!'• he repeated with emphasis, and
his tone was bitter.
'What little foxes, grandla
• '.Any little foxes, all little foxes; little sins,
little weaknesses little slanders, lithe dehts,
I hate . them all. They do such mischief;
they are so treacherous and ruinous!
'When they are so littler
'Yes, and because they aro so little.
My grandfpther paused. I waited im si
lence, and, he went on. '
never ride, by that house without pain
and indignation. You see what a firm place
it. is; a-good house, a . hundred and fifty acres
of rich land, and yet* went for a sills
gown.
That was the little fox.'
'A silk gown?
'Yes, it went fora silk gasvn And there
went with it what was worth greatly tuore
than all of it a whole family's happiness and
hope.'
'What is the story, grandfather?'
tell you, When I first came to this
part of the country, a young couple of the
name of Brown were settled here in a log
house. They were hardworking, self-deny
ing people, and everything prospered with
then for many years. They paid fur their
farm, and kept-adding to it, till, as I told
you, they had a hundred and fifty acres
Then when I had built me a new house,
neighbor Brown had to build him one, some
what like mime, as you see, for be did not
like to be behind.- I sent my oldest child—
MI to an academy in the next town, where
they could have better opportunities for
learning than were bee'. After a time,
neighbor Brown thought it would be a good
thing to educate his children, and sent bis
oldest daughter to the same academy.
It was a new expense to him, bnt he met
it cheerfully, and for a time, all wont well.
The young woman made him stare with her
philosophy, the fond Miler was more than
repaid for all his sacrifices on her occount.
But as she 'increased in" 'knowledge, se did
she in love of dress, nod' nothing would do
.for her but an expensive silk gown. Ilor
mother wit -hor -off.
, We. can't: afford it Susan,'
.'Why not mother?' •
'Because we have no_ money to pay for
it.' .
`But father can f tr o i tin things' from
`Nothing nen be,apared•now. Listyear's
grain is all sold; so is every thing else from
lust year.
' ‘Dat father Might sell something n etrw, if
8 -1F1a332-I:l3r.Ne#lol7,3l3alpeti• t X3p.cierstapiaclartl upon; all iSubjects."
tiothitig else!
'No, he needs all the stook he has.'
The father entered.
'What is it, Susan?'
want a silk dress, father. Mary Stiles
has one,
'flow will alio get itr - interposed-the-pru- pon tli
dent mother.
,I'll buy it for her.'
'But how will you pay for it?'
'They'll trust me.'
_ The wife said tio - more, and Susan had the
hindsomest silk•to be found in the next vil
lage, and Brown had a store bill for the first.
time in his lire. He thought nothing of it,
as man_,y_others-had-the-samesmi the met.-
chant encouraged it. It comes a great deal
easier to say, 'Charge it! than to hand over
the hard earned cash. They know this, and
take advantage of it. And so a man who
would not have spent ten dollars at the
store if he bad been obliged to pay 'down,'
has a store bill of perhaps five times the a
mount to meet at the end of the year.
'And suppose it can't be met?'
'The merchant puts it into the shape of
n ote_payable-sv th-iuteres ndi tarts a fresh
accoun t.'
'Too _ _ •
,'So it is; but Susan Brown had her fine
dress, and Brown had his store bill, and once
begun it soon - grew two large, and how. .ma•
ny are not so? The command is wise.
'Owe no man anything?' most debts ought
never have been. No one should have in
dulgence that cannot be paid for at once.—
Next year Brown's store bill became a note
with . interest, but did not trouble him:,
' Next year another note was given, a larg
er one, including interest, and an unpaid ba
lance of a second store bill. Heavier inter
est was now asked for money was . scarce,
Brown kept falling behind for several years
once sliding downward, it is hard to recover
one's self. At length I. saw the surveyors
at work on that part of hie farm 'lying next
to mine. He was with then.'
'Going to sell?' I asked him.
'l'm going to give Lyme a mortgage.'
'All! how's that?'
'He's got some of my notes 'and wants
one.
I pitied him and with good reason. lle
s never the same man aaain. •An ineubas
lay upon him. destroying his courage, WS
very life. If he could not pay his store bill
how calla he: lift a mortgage. His farm
must go ; no help for it. The grasping usurer
had done his work, had made his own the
handsome farm whiah another man had earn
ed by the sweat and. toil of a life, without
the sweat and toil Of an hour, by cunning,
small advantages fastened to a little store
debt. . How indignant I felt; how sorrowful
too, when my good. neighbor' put his furni
ture into wagons, put in his axe, plow and
hoe, and took his way to an humble home
far from us, to begin life's toil. anew; youth
all gone, hope almost dead, courage almost
tailed, muscles and heart weakened. And
all this wrong and ruin grew from a little
thing, a school girl's gown. Do you wonder
I bate the little foxes? Look out for them
child? watoh for them? don't let thorn spoil
your vines while you are safe from
,them!--
No one is Sate.
We rode on in silence, and I muses and,
trembled. So many little things—life rs
mane up with them—which shall ruin? which
bless ? 'Gad of wisdom direct rue,' I .
prayed.
An Address to Youth
Let not the season. of youth be barren of
improvements in virtue, so essential to your
future felicity and honor. Now is the seed
time of life, and according to what you sow
you shall reap. Your character is now, un
der Divine assistance, of your own forming.
Your fate is in some measure put into your
own hands. Whatever
,impulse you now
give to your desires and passions, the direr.
Lion is likely to continue. It will form the
channel in which your life is to run; nay, it
may deterriiine its everlasting issue. Con
sider, then, the employment of this impor
tant period, as the highest trust which shall
ever be committed to you; as in a great meas
ure decisive of your happiness, in time and
in eternity As in the succession of theses
sons each, by the invariable laws of nature,
affects the production. of what is next in
course, so in human life, every period of our
age, according as it is well or ill spent, in.-
Silences the happiness of, that which is to
Virtuous youth gradually brings
forward accomplished and flourishing man
hood; and such manhood passes of itsell,with.
out uneasiness, into respectable and tranquil
old age. But when nature is turned nut of
its regular course, disorder takes place in the
vegetable world. If the Spring put forth no
blossoms, in the Summer there will be no
beauty, and in Autumn there will be no fruit.
So if youth be trifled away without improve
ment; manhood will be contemptihle.and old
age miserable. If the beginnings of life have
been vanity its latter' nd can be no other than '
vexation of spirit.
AN INFIDEL Ciiw.--Deaoon A—was
one of the best of men, but by nature very
irascible. A cow was so exceedingly disor
derly, as the Deacon was attempting to milk
her one morning,, that the old Adam got the
better of him, and he vented his excited feel.
inns in a volley of execrations very undea
conish in their character. At this moment
the good "Deacon's pastor appeared unex
pectedly on the scene, and announced. his
Presence by saying. "Why, Deaconl can it
be? Are you swearing?--are you swearing?•"
"Welt Parson," replied the Deacon, "I did'nt
think of toy one being near by; but the
truth is, I never shall enj•ly religion as long
as I keep this cow?" , ,
Torn Niser—Do you see, Jim, that (koh
-1 ing lady with the expansive, "tilter.?" She
is paid to be wealthy—is it true ? •
Tim SlilltieCr.-"No doubt of it, Tom,. ;for
her legacy (leg lace) is ample. ,„;k.
Rebel Ou4iige
A meeting of Methodists , Was rebently held
in Baltimore with.' reference •to an outrage
perpetrated upon allamp Meeting' in Mont
gomery County. • The following comments
he-suh-jeet-we-eopy—froro he 4,fzei‘
can:
The meeting originated among: the' law-ec
biding and liberty-loving citizens, and vie
intended to awoken e' public , sentiment that
would secure justice to the negroeri in otit
midst. it was by no fault of their's that
they came here, and while, they remain a-
Moog,us, Christianity, humanity and justice
demand that they shouldte protected. The
laws are already upon the statue book to se
cure them in all their rights, but these are
of no avail unless they ars supported and
enforced by a high moral sentiment. In this
respect this community is not deficient, but
till this moment its indignation has never
been aroused by any gross outrage. Some
of the leading men have shrank from that ()-
dims!. which he vulgar endeavor to oast up
-on-those who advocate. the rights of the ne
groes, and others have looked upon with in
differenee. A few have been outspoken, but
hitherto they have accomplished but very
little. A gross outrage, however, committed
almost in our very midst,•and in the pres
ence of some of our most respectable citizens,
has at last around the attention of all just
men to the wrongs of despised race.—
All we ask is, that our readers will look o
ver the evidende for themselves. The men
whose affidavits are given are all members
of the Methodist Church, and are known to
,be above suspicion. FromJhis testimony it
appears that the negroes patiently endured
insults and everiblows,. till eduraneo ceased
to be a virtue. Whether the first shot was
fired by them we leave each one to decide for
himself. •Ooothiog, however, is certain, the
whites began the assault. They:sought .the
negroes—left the part assigned to the whites
and sought the part specially given up to the
blacks, Here they commenced a course of
proceedings that• was both •irreverent and ri.
otous. When these indignities reached such
a pitch as. to be unendurable, the blacks rose
in self defence and drove off their porseou•
tom.. This is a plain, unvarnished tale. It
we cannot perceive how such 'proceedings
can meet with palliation or 'extenuation.—
They .were unlawful and eacriligious;, they
violated the minority of public worship, inter.
fere& with religious liberty, and ignored ev
ery principle of •right. Occasion was also
taken to tall the
,attention of the public to
outrages of various kinds that have been corn
mitted in miens parts of the State. Teach
ers have been fired upon and driven off,echool
houses and churches have been : Vaned.—
Every means have been used. , to bailie and
thwart'the efforts-to educate and elevate the
negroes. Upon looking ovet-ihis Jong list
'of outrages we began to wonder if -we were
not living in Spain or' the Sandwich Islands.,
We venture the assertion that but very few
of our inisaionaries among the heathen meet.
with more obstacles than those who are try
, ing to teach and convert the blacks in this
State. We are told, upon reliable authority,
that more than thirteen school houses have
been burned during the past year. And all,
this has happened in the nineteenth century,
among an intelligent and Christian people.
It is a burning shame; a disgrace to the '
corntnuciityo stain upon our character.— ,
Yet this is a land "of liberty—a nountryathat
boasts of its schools and its diuretics. Ey•
ety one knows that these ontanges can be
traced directly to - a base and unfounded:prej
Lidice against the negro. No reason can be
assigned for it whatever. No man can offer
a single argument to show why the blacks
ought not to learn and preach , and pray.--;,
No one is Compelled to teach or to hear them.
If he does not like them lie can khep away.
On the other hand,l education and religion
will make the black man a better laborer and
a better 'citizen. Religion will make him
, holiest, virtuous and industrious, and educa
tion will slier; him why he should altiays
continua so. ' They wilt keep' him from
crime, and drive poverty from his door.-- , .
The blacks then will crowd the churches
and school houses instead of filling the jails
and almshouses: Property will be mme se
, care; capital will be more venturesome, for it
trill find more safety. As there will be less
theft and robbery, the uncertainty of gain
will be less and the profits will,be greater.—
There is not a single man in the community
who is not directly interested in the elevation
of the negroes. They will hang, like an in,
cubus upon enterprise until -they are trans.
formed frond ignorant pagans to educated
Christians. We runat place the foundations
of society upon the principles of eternal jus--
vice, for it is written, "RighteJusueas exalt
eth "a nation, but sin is a curse . to any pen
plc." There is something strange, .incen
&stoat and way Ward in prejudice.' The Meer.
bus of our churches annually contribute
thetas - ands of &hats to foreign missions. A
larger portion of. this is spent upon benight
ed Africa, and seine of the brightest exam
ples of missionary heroism and devotion have
occurred, among•thoso black pagans. Re
ports of these are made at every missionary
meeting, and men listen• to them not only
with complacency, but. with. , real pleasure,
for they . are really pleased to think that God's
kingdom is being advanced there, and that
new regions of the globe are grim reckoned
to Ohristianity and civilization. If an at
tempt, however, is made to call the attention
of these same men to the condition . of per
sons of the same race and colorqn 'this coun
try, they listen, not with "indifferent.ei , but
with displeasure. ~ Why arc heathen abroad
better than heathen at.hogna. 'Why
,should
charity seek remote elimea , pretercuce ti
scenes of degradation r_in Otte' own midst?—
Why, should weArurn.tilth indignation at an
ontrage,eommitted in foreign,latids, rind not
*,gent Ono entionif,to in our 410' S'atc?—
The last tarrishes our orrti fair:..itamc: It
places us emu& ! , semi-o" ionized Staten, Where
laWs are violated With inivinity. , --where.pttb;
He sentiment is too weak to check orimer—
where liberty and property are held at
mercy of outleat.
,mat the great Union meeting held in
Washington
. City, General . Logan made a
speeeh, iii , the 'course of which he i 3 itid.i
•tell . me Where' your Jeff DaVises, your
Stephenses, your Toombses, your Lees, your
Beauregards—men who have lived 'on the
fat of the laud, men who have been educated
at the charity schools of the nation, men who
never,had a spear of grass grow or a flower
blooth in their gardens that Was riot woteied
by the droppings , from the- Treasury of the
United States, men who have lived in luxu
ry and wealth, who have had given them the
highest honors the people could eorifer.upon
them, and noca/who, while their, emblems of
honor were on them, could break their oaths,
violate their obligations, and trample under
foot laws of the land are ! They Could
make truth squirm beneath theirfeet as they
kissed the Bible and swore by, the over-liv
ing God that - theywould . sustain the " Gov
erntnen t'against all its enemies and oppress
.ors; these are the men who filled the larid
from one end to the other with widows and
orphans, who have caused rivers of blood to
course the' rich soil of the South,' and the
very land itself to groan under the distress
and burtheus brought upon the• land by the
horrors of war I When you look upon this
picture, I ask you as a loyal rnan,,as a good
man, as a conscientious man, as a good moth
er, a good wife or a good sister, to tell me, is
the man who has assisted in bringing on you
all these sorrows to be accorded as many
rights and as many privileges io the Govern
ment under which we live as the man •who
has fought for and suicained the Govern
*tent in the dark hour of its. necessity ?
(Cries of "No l' l "No !" and applause.) If
this, fellow-countrymen, is what this new
policy of restoration meanP, then for ono
bog to be excused from being brought into
the great tribunal in which it is to be ,work
ed out. Ido not believe the great Davis, or
the great Stephene, - who paraded the streets
of Washington a short time ago, is . entitled
to the same rights that I am, nor . will I ever
believe it. Cheers And whenever ou
uthe to t em the same rig tsyeu give to me,
-
or to any other man Who fought with =Toy
four years to suppress this rebellion, then I
want you to tell me' what has been gained by
being a loyal man to this government during
the war that has been waged. I....want you
to tell me what. difference there is between a
loyal man and a traitor, or wha . t difference
there is to be hereafter.
A Cross Woman
The idea of a woman getting cross and ug
ly when things in the family do not run quite
as smoothly as they should, is simply 'ridi
culous. She makes herself an object of
loathing and contempt whenever she is guil
ty of such nonsense. The Almighty has
created her for a purpose entirely different
to this insane and foolish induigenee an--
gry paPsidtis. lie has made her beautiful
and attractive in her person, endowed her
with,sonsibilities and refinements of mind and
manner which, when properly cultivated,.
lead to the elevation of the . higher and ,ho
lierieelings of our nature. 'Think of a be
ing,thus constituted getting cross 'on every
trifling occasion. How she insults her 'Oro
•ator, and prostitutes those excellent qualities
which the sterner sex do not posseSs„. and
which seems to be reserved by heaven for,
her alone. Think of this, fair woman, when
everlthe devil tempts you thus to sin. You,
may forfeit all within your grasp ; worldly
happiness, worldly esteem, domestic felicity,
that peheo of mind which arises from a eon
soiousness of duty well and faithfully per
formed, and what is more' than all, you way
forfeit the favor of your God.
What they Won't Own To.
There aro several things which you never
can, by any accident. get 3 lady—be• she
young or old—to confess to. arc some
of them
That she laces tight.
That her shoes are too small for her. •
That she is tired at a ball:
That she paints.
That she is as old as she looks. •
That she has been more than five minutes
dressing.
That she blushed upon hearing a certain,
person's name mentioned.
That she ever says a thing she doesn't
meau.
That she is fond of scandal. '
That she cannot keep a secret.
That she—above all persons 'in the wide
world—is in love.
That she doesn't want a new bonnet.
- That she does not know everything. .
That she can do , with one single thing less ,
when she, is about to travel.
That's - be has not the dispoi•ition'oran an=
gel : or the temper of a saint,
,or how ese
could she uo through ono half of what she
does'
That she doesn't know better than any one
else what is best tor her.
That she is a flirt or coquette.
TAXATION. --A gruinhler explains the
present system of . raising remain:, as follows;
"Now, you ace, in the first - place, they gir
the amount of a fellers business. That is
taxed. Then they find out, how much •he
earns every month, and that's taxed- Then
they find out all about his profits and on-that
they lay their tnx.—Theo they manage to
got i,oma•tax on what, he owes - ...:NeXt. comes
what they eall,income and that's - taxed
Then, if anything is lets, the preaolMi, Calk
around, and giis it to sustain thettititer and
convert the heathen."
Bad thoughts gnie.kly, ripen into bad ac
tions:
,
' ,• ;• 'se;
Bali O r ler . 1 5 P.ent,-/retelor l i
.1 r,
. .
Sig Wi.SN'T A HEATHEN.--SOMe
s gen.
Monsen ealTed upon. an old woman aria in
quired-if slip had; a Bible. She,was ; very
angry at being :NW such , a question, and
replied=. -
"Baryon think, gentlemen, that I am a
heathene that von ask me s.' onestionl
_ OP
Aun and fetch the Bible out of the7drawer, - ,.
she said to the little girl, "that I may show
it to•theigentietnem". '
' They desired that she would not take' the
trouble, but she insisted that they. should
"see that She was not a heathen." Accor
dingly the Bible was broUght, nicely cover
ed. On' opening it, the old woman exclaim
ed:' •"f .
• "Well, bow glad I am that you called and
asked 'about the Bible ! Hero aro my spec•
tacleti. I have been Linking for them those
three years, and did Hot know whereto find
them.
HAND ON PAREtttssuaa.--Tho editor of
the Wheeling btelligencer was . told the fol
lowing story a few. days ago by a gentleman
who had just rettirned'.from Parkersburg:
He bad hardly got to sleep when he was-a
wakened by a .tbite." Upon lighting a match
he .found a bed bug about half an inch in di
ameter. He threw the bug with the match,
into a . basin of water which stood at the head
of the bed. This process Was repeated seve•
ral times. At last lie was awakened from a
sound sleet) by what lie thought was some
person singing. He thretT up his window
but could not find the course of the swept
sounds, but at last be ;happened to look in
the basin, when he found that the tugs had
constituted a raft out of the matches he had
thrown in, and were rowing it around the ba
sin, singing---ecj
`•tile cm the ocean wave,-'
A home on the rolling Jeep,'-'•'&c.
PORTICAL.—itia certain well-known city
a poetical genius was hapled up before the
magistrate for kiSsing a girl and kicking up
a dust, arid the following dialogue ensued:
'ls your name John Jay.?'. •
'Yes, your honor, so the people' say.'
'Was it you that kissed the girl and raised
the alarni?'
Yes, your honor, but I thought it w4a no
harm.' •
asoa
make rhymes
'No; youi honor, but it wifi happen some.
times, .
"li,e yott : seamp, go, put of.my - sight.'
'Thank's yciar honor, than Dl' bid ye good
.r , .
TEM FEMALE iTEART.—To 68d. the short
est way to a female heart under any given
circumstances
If , she is married, bat not a mother—
Praise her husband.
If she is 'married, and' also a mother—
Praise her eh ildroa.
If she id.trumarriea, and engaged—Praise
her lover. •
If she is. unmarried, and_disengaged---
Praifse herself.
. • '
GOOD , REBOLITTIONti. little girl of six
years old was a little while ago called to die.
About a year before her death she had a
snail writing desk given to her. After her
death her mother unlocked it and found this
writing, it looked like her first writing:
•Jhe.minute I wake in the morning, I will
thank God.
will mind my father and mother always.
will try to have my lessons perfect.
wilt.:try to b'e kind and not to get cross.
'l,have;to behave like God's child.'
'Five. precious rules for a little child to
make' lag or her own. Will you make them
yours? '
A gopd old bachelor 811y3 that he has re
ceived a basket of peaches this season that
look as, though pretty girls had watched
their growth and tinted them with their
blushes. •
Some 'sensible carp says, truly, that a
person who undertakes to raise himself by
scandalizing, others, might just well sit down
on a wheelbarrow and undertake to wheel
A laughable story is told .of a native of
the "green isle of Erin, who, with a neigh
bor, had just landed from an emigrant ship.
Noticing a brass button on the sidewalk, he
picked it up. and turning to the' other, ex
claimed: "See here, Jamie; what a tine wan
try this is, to bo sure, where you git guineas
wi3 handles to 'cm." '
"Go away," said Noggins, "you can't stuff
sioh nonesenso in me—six feet in his boots!
No man as lives, stands, more nor two feet
in his boots, and no use talking 'bout it,—
Might as well tall me the man had six heads
in his hat!"
11 young lady Says the reason sho carries
a parasol is, that the sun is of the masculine
gender, and she cannot withstand his ardent
glances'. •
A thkifty young man !married a rosy young
Irish girl, quite to the ;horror 'of his mother
and sisters, bat detended himself , by the fol
lowing logic: 'if 1 marrylta American girl I
must have an lrisit-giti#!-: : :.talic care of her,
and I cannot afford to sin , Vatheattl: •
A youth declares gcrien:.
dor heat:tea she cau't boludtteidlit itrike a
light...," •
Punch 'says, u'SVo - de' not bbliere spiritu
alism ar.utugie, but the eti . . ist%.4o.3r, a vera•
cicruiawitaess uet,uallyue is ii . :3lo;tigjuai3 turn
taiiubM 'house. '• • •
. ; ,-Ln4y--:!An cagey graco, in ono vOluene
ptonntly•boFn4.._
==22l=l
Whit is the only. peit, tliat we snitkeligfii
page.
MMIEIt 13
ire tQ
you come