Oh! 1 did not dream that the sunny stream
Of love could e'er have. died; •
Bat fondly thought when fancy brought
Sweet'musie on its tide,
That, hope's young dreams like heavenly beams,
Bright heralds were of bliss;
Foretelling joy, without allow,
Ana memory still awakes a thrill,
Though the eye withholds a tear.
For the lonely 'heart can never part
Whirl oug s once old dear;
They come at times, in fitful chimes,
Those reli6 of the pia;
With visions fair, inwrapt in air,
Too beautiful to last.
How oft aenigist when skies were bright
And all was sweet repose,
And fairies strayed, in moonlit glade,
And zephyrs kissed the rose.
We have sought afar, in the fairest star t .
'Mid all that gleamed on high,
Our blissful home, were ills ne'er come ;
And love can never die_ l_
And the merry glance of hope . would dance
• In thy soft beaming eyes, -
As I pictured bright the silent night,
Our mansion in the skies !
When fondly there, 'mid scenes solair,
We traced our future lot,
The world's dark snaiej7tad . withering caret
That hour we all forgot 1
And every sigh, fay, far on high,
Seemed born on angels' wings;
To mingle there all pure and fair,
With bright and lovely things.
The dream is past, a cloud has cast
Its shadow on my brow;
The fount is dried.of that spring•tide—
There is no music now.
NOTHING BUT LEAVES.
Nothing but b ayes! The spirit grieves•
O'er a wasted life;
Sins committed while conscience slept,
Promises made but never kept;
Hatred, babble and strife,
Nothing but leaves I
Nothing but leaves! No garnered sheaves
Of life's fair refined grain;
Words, idle words, for earnest deeds
We SJW our seeds. So tares and weeds,
To reap with toil and pain,
Nothing' but leaves.
Nothing but leaves ! Memory weaves
No veil to cover the past,
As we return our weary way,
Counting each lost and misspent day,
And find sadly at last
•
Nothing but leaves.
And Shall we meet the Master so'! .
Bearing our withered leaves,
The Saviour looks for perfect fruit,
We stand before him humbly, mute,
Waiting the word he breathes—
Nothing but leaves !
ivramcmr.o.ges.m - 3r.
Beware of Idleness
It is it sad sight to see boys gathering on
wharves, or at the corners of the street, or
anywhere, illingaway their time, because it
is certain
kla tan finds some mischief still
For idle hands to db.
* Idle boys too arc pretty sure• to grow no
lolifers. I look into the dictionary, and find
that loafers are Idle men, who get their liv
ing by Sponging. And what is sponging?
It is to gain by mean acts. A loafer then is
a man who gets his living in mean ways.—
Of course he is a low fellow; his talk is low;
his aims are low; his spirit is mean. Ile has
the temper and habits which decidedly and
naturally leads to all kindi of evil. House
breakers, pickpockets, robbers, all come from
this class; and indeed idle boys sometimes
take their first lessons in 'wickedness very
early... '
• In loOking over our police records, I find
a great inany children, girls as well as boys,
brought up for "petty larceny," which means,
stealing little things; and-these little thieves
are all drom the class of children who play
truant and .are idlers. You see it is very
dangerous' class to belting to. It is certain'
ruin to stay in it.
If you are au errend-boy then don't lag
by the way, but go promptly about your bu
siness.
If you are a, school-boy, run to school;
don't stop by te way.
. If you are going home, go.
If you are , out at play , play with all your
heart, : play with a will. Have here'as good
inn „us you plea'se; but when you have done
quit; do not be a hanger•on anywhere..
I am speaking to girls as well. as boyfi• ' for
Lzim sorry.to 'say girls, sometimes very little
,girls, have hsen found with those idle hands
which Satann — always finds mischief for. '
this be your ruler
In booke and work and.healthy, play •
Letmyircret years be pawed,
• That I may give for every day
IMO, acwoung•atUltA ' •
Our.pereeption,ofthe high and the holy
ore,olearer in porrow thin in joy. Fiom 'the
depths of dark wale we behold tbemid:day
Mon.
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WAYNESBORO' FRANKLIN - COUNTY PENNSYLVANIA FRIDAY MORNING,'AUGUST 4 1860.
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F.
. _
ARTEMAS WARD IN RICH-
Theiddiffan finds himself once
unny c cum here a feW days after
the city catterpillortulated.
My naburs seemed surprised and aston
ishtat this adrin' braver onto the part of a
man at my . time of life, but our family was
never known to quale in danger's stormy
hour.
My father was a sutler in the Revolution
War. My father once had a intervoo with
Gin'ral LaFayette.
He asked LaFayette to lend him five dol
lars promisin' to pay in the Fall; but Lafy
said "he could not se it in th., ..* "
. ' •. • retie , an. his knowledge l of our
Immediately on my rival here I perceded
to the Spotswood House, and eallin' to my
assi "r_ant_our--town—wiro-
id, I, put ray orto
graph on theßegister, and handin' mj um
brella to the bald headed man behind the
counter•, who I s'posed was Mr. Spotswood,
I said, "Spotsy, how does she run?"
He called a.„culled parson', and said "Show
the gentleman to the cowyard, and give him
cart number 1."
"Isn't Grant here?" "Perhaps ' Ulyssis
would not mind my turnin' in with him."
"Do you know the Gin'ral?" inquired Mr.
Spotswood.
"Well, no, not zackly; bat he'll remember
me. His brother-in-law's Aun't b_o_u, t_he
rye-meal-of - my - u all one winter.=
My uncle Levi's rye meal was—"
"Pooh! pooh!"' •said - Spoty, "don't bother
mere - TA - he shoved my umbretliT - mto — t: e
floor. Olisarvin to - Mtn not - to be keerlese
with that wepen. I accompanied the African
to my lodgin's.
"bly brother, I sed, "air you aware that
•ou've — Vin —i mancipated? — Do -- ; you realise
how glorious it is to be free? Tell me, my
brother, does it not seem like some. dreams,
or do you realise the great fact in. all its liv
in' and holy magnitood?"
He sed he would take some in.,
was showed to the cow•yard and laid
down under a one•mule cart The hotel was
orful crowded, and I was sorry I hadn't gone
to the Libby Prison, Tho' °I should hay'
slept comfortable muff if the bed .clothes
hadn't bin pulled of me during the night,
by a scoundrel who had hitched' a mule to
the cart and druv it off. I thus lost my
coverin' and my throat feels a little husky
this rnornin.'
flaileek offers me the hospitality
of the city, given' me my choice of hospit
als.
He also very kindly placed at my disposal
a small pox amboolance.
UNION SENTIMENT
There is really a great deal of Union sen
timent in this city. I see it on every hand.
I met a man today-1 am not at liberty
to tell his name, but he is a hold and infloo
entooial citizen or Richmond, and sez he,
"Why! we've bin fightin' again the Old Flag!
Lot' bless me, how singlar!" Ile then bor
reed five dollars of me and bust in a flood of
tears.
Sed another (a man of standin' and for
merly a bitter rebel.) "Let us nt once stop
this effooshun of .13lud1, The Old Flag is
good enuff for me sir," he added, "you air
from the North! Have you a doughuot or
a piece of custard pie about you?"
told him no, but I knew a man from
Vermont who had just "organized a sort of
restaurant, where ho could go and make
,a
very comfortable breakfast on New England
rum and cheese. Ile borrowed fifty cents of
me, and askin' me to send hini Wm. Lloyd
Garrison's ambrotype us soon as I got thane,
he walked off
Said another. "There's bin a tremendous
Union fcelin' here from the fast. But we
was kept down by a rein terror. Have you
a dagerrdtype of Wendell Philips about your
person? and will you lend me four dollars for
a few days till we are once more a happy and
united people?
Jeff Davis is not pop'lar here. She is re
garded as a Southern Sympathiser, mid yet
1 aw
,told he was kind to his parents. She
ran away from 'enkroany years-ago, and has
niver bin back. This was showin"em a
good deal of consideration' when we reflect
what his conduct has been. Her capture in
female apparel confooses me in regard to his
sex, and you•see I speak of him as .a her as
frequent as otherwise, and I guess he feels
so himself.
Robert Leo is'regarded as a noble fellow.
He was opposed to the war at fast, and draw'd
his sword very reluctantly . la fact, he
worild'ot hay' draw'd his sword at all, only
he had a large stock of military • clothes on
hand, which he didn't want •to waste. He
sea the colored man is right, and
,he will at
once go to New York and open a Sabbath
School far negro minstrels.
THE CONFEDERATE ARMY
The surrender of Lee, J. Johnson and
alibis leaves the Confederit Army in;a ruth•
er shattered state. That army now consists
of Kirby Smith, 4 mules and a Bas Drum,
and is movie' rapidly to'rds Texas.
A PROUD AND EAWTY SUTIIENER
Ikelin' a little peckish, I went into a eat
& house to-day and encountered a young
man with long black hair and'sleader frame.
He don't wear numb clothes, and 'them as he
did wear looked onhealthy. He frowned on
me, and sez -kinder scornful,- "so. sir—you
come lacire to taunt:on& in hour of trouble, do
yon?"
"No," said I, "I come here for lash."
"fish•haw!" he said; soeerinly, "I mean
you air in this city for the purpose of gloat.
io' over a - fallen people. Others nay basely
suctiomb; but as for we, I Will sever yield—
never, never!" •
MoPm.
JEFF DAVIS.
ROBERT LEE
— '"Hay, suthia' to eat;"
Bested.
"Tripe and onions!" be sed fareeLN-thenJ
You're a low lived Yankee!"
To which I pleasantly replied, "Howll
you have your tripe!"
"Fried mudsill with plenty of hamfat!"
He et very ravenus. Poor fellow! He
had lived on odds and ends for several days,
eatin' crackers that had bin turned over by
revelers in the breadtray at the bar.
He got full at last, and his heart softened
to'ards me. "After all," he sed,
"you hay' sum people at the North who air
not wholly loathsun bens "
_
'we
3E.t„
among us
o isn't a cold-blunded
iaa, I mildly but grave
ly sed, this erooilwar is over, and you're liet.
it's rather neeessary_for_somebody-tolick - lif
Ilielyfite, and in this ere case it hap
pens to be the United States of America.—
You fit splendid, but we was too many for
you. Then make the best of it and let us
all give in and put the Republic on a firmer
basis nor ever.
"I didn't gloat over your misfortunes, my
young free. •Fur from it.—Fur from it.—
I'm a old man now, and my heart is softer
nor it once was. You see my spectacles is
mistcn'd with suthin' very like tears.. I'm
thinkin' -of the sea of good rich blud that
has been spilt on both sides in this dreadful
war I-• I'm thinkin' ofpltywiders nod—or
tuns-NorthittudymitTeu in the South. I can
cry for both—bleeve me, my dear young
fren,' I kin place my old haus tenderly on
the fair young bead of the Virg,inny maid
e - lover - was - faid-lavyin—the—battle dust;
by a fed'ral bullet; and say, as fervently a.n.d
pious:y as a venerably sinner like me kin ray
anything God be good to you, my poor dear,
my poor ' dear I"
riz up-to-go '
& taking my young South
ern free' kindly by the hand, I sed, "Young
man, adoo I You Southern fellers is proba
bly my brothers, tho' you've occasionally'
had a cussed querr way shown' it 1 It's o
ver now. Let us all jive in and. make a coun
try of this continent that shall giv' all Eu
rope the cramp in the• stummuck ev'ry time
they look at us I Adoo, adoo."
And as I am through, I'll likewise adoo
to you, gentle reader, merely remarkin, that
the Star Spangle Banner is wavin' round
loose agin, and that there don't seem to be
anything the matter with the Godess of Lib=
erty beyond a slight cold.
A WIFE WANTED.-4 fellow in Aroos
took county, Maine, answered,a 'New York
advertisement, representing that he could
furnish any person with a wife. The adver
tiser replied, directing the writer to a neigh
boring asylum for idiots ! The same youth,
not at all abashed, whose name is John Mor
ris,.speaks of himself as follows:
"I am eighteen years old, have a good set
of•teeth, and believe in Andy Johnson, the
Star Spangle Banner, and the Fourth of Ju
ly. I have taken up a State lot, cleared up
eighteen acres last year, and 'seeded ten of it
down. My buckwheat looks flrstrate, and
the oats and potatoes are bully. I have got
nine sheep, a two year old bull and two heif
ers, beside.a house and barn. I want to get
married. I want to buy broad and. butter,
hoop skirts and water-falls for some person
of the female *suasion during my life.—
But I don't know how to do it.,That's what's
the matter with me."
Over the beauty of the plum and the a
pricot there grows a bloom and beauty more
exquisite than the fruit itself—a soft, deli
cate flush spreads its flushing cheek. Now,
if you strike your band over that, it is gone.
The flower that hangs in the morinng irn
pearled with dew, arrayed as no queenly wo
man ever was arrayed with jewels—once
shake it so that the beads roll off, and you
may sprinkle water over it as you please, yet
it can never be again what it was when the
dew fell silently on it from heaveq. On a
frosty morning you may see panes of glass
covered with landscape, mountains, lakes,
trees, blended in a beautiful picture. Now
lay your hand upon the glass, and by the
scratch of your finger, or by the warmth of
your palm, that delicate tracery will be obli
terated. Su there is in youth a beauty and
purity of character, which, when once touch
ed and defiled, can never be restored.
Tho cost of supporting a wife having in
creased alarmingly during, the last quarter of
a century, and'as the prospect is that it will
increase still-more during the next
. quarter,
the masculine intellect is at work to devise
some remedy
- for the evil, The first move
ment has been made at 'Marseilles. The
liublicite of that city, announces a new kind
of strike—that of bachelors. Not fewer than
6,000 young men, it states, of that place,
between the age f2O and 30, held a meet
ing in the open air a little way out* of town,
and entered into an agreement not to ask 'any
young woman in marriage until a complete
. change shall haie been operated in 'the man
ner of living, and particularly in the dress
of the fairer sex. Tho young men insist on
greater simplicity in every respect and a re
turn to the more modest habits of n'eontnry
or two ago.
A NOP:ff. SENTIMENT.—DanieI Webster
penned the sentiment:—"lf we work:upon
marble it will perish; if we work upon brass
time will efface it; if we rear temples, they
will crumble. into dust; but if we work on
mortal atinds--if we imbue them with,,prin
ciples, with the just fear of,God and our fel
low' men, we engrave •on ,tbose tablets some
;thing that will brighten through all , eterni
ty."
Heaven is a day without a cloud to dar
ken it,'aud without a night to end it.
I pleasantly•sng-
- muars entrunitted some
years since in France, developes - a rare in
stance of presencdof wind in women. We
will promise that the murderer was known
by the fact that in some brawl, or scence of
murder, he had lost three fingers from one
of his bands. There lived on the outskirts
of Dieppe a widow by the name of Beau
maurice. She had no family, but with 'ode
servant girl, lived in a very retired manner.
The cottage, in which she resided, was situ
ated about half a mile from the city, a lite
off fro
Madame_Rer
a of on of th,-
ARTEMAS WARD.
Thrilling Adventure.
Thie extract, from remeniscoci_
atirice-had - beerithT . wife
rs of the gua rd. She was
so in respect to
ness_of--characttrr - she possessed in the midst
of danger, which, together with a large
amount of moral courage, made her a very
notable person. The recent murders,. made
perhaps, less impression on -her mind than
upon any one else in Dieppe; althongh it
was naturally supposed the retired Situation
in which she llcei would have caused her
to be more fearful.
About ten o'clock, on the night of the
BOth of April, just ten days after - the mur
ders of the Rue Bernard, Madam Beaman
rice went up into her bedroom. She was
suffering from a nervous headache. She felt
very sleepy_ind-seated-herselflamp.
was placed on a chest of , drawers behind her.
Opposite to her ,was a toilet table with a
cloth on it reaching to , the fluor. She had
alread commenced taking off her clothes,
when ha, ,ening to look around h_e_r,shu-1
saw something that for a moment chillek
her blood=---It-was - the sliit - daw — io - a
man's
hand on the flour.. The hund had only two
fingers*.
She divined the truth in a moment; the as
sassin was there in her house. under the fa
ble. She made not the least motion nor
sign, but reflected two three minutes as to
the best course to be pursued. She, divin
ed what to do and advanced to - rte — drocv;
and called the servant maid.
"Oh; Mary," exclaimed she when the girl
entered- the room. "Do you know where
M. Bernard lives?"
"Yes, Madam." •
"I have to pay 5,000 francs away very
early in the morning. The rant slipped my
memory till just now. You will• have to
run to his house and get the money for me.
"Very well, Madam."
"I will write a note, which you will, deliv
er to him, and he will give you bank bills to
the amount."
She wrote as follows:
14 dear DI. Bernard: The assassin of
the Rue dos Armes and the Rue erronard is
in my house. Come inuneditoely with some
geris d' arms, and take him before he
escapes
„ HELE BEA UMAURICE.”
And without entering into any explanation
with the servant, she ciispetchea her on her
errand'. She then quietly reseated herself
and waited. Yes, she sat in that room with
a man under the table for a whole hour.—
She saw the shadow of the baud shift set , .
eral times, but the murdera did not make
any attempt to escape from his place of con
cealment,
In due time the gent d' armes arrived,
and Jacques Itaynauld was arrested; not
however, without a violent truggie.
.1 need scarcely add that the most convinc
ing proof as to his guilt was found, and in
due time he was guillotined.
A Case of Conscience.
Dr. Gay had for some Lima missed the bay
from his barn, and was satisfied that it was
stolen. With a view to detect the thief, lie
took a dark lantern and stationed himself
near the place where he supposed he must
pass. In duo time, a person whom he knew
passed along into his burn, and (illicitly came
out with as large a load of hay as he could
carry upon his back. The doctor, without
saying a word, followed the thief; and took
the candle out of his dark lantern and struck
it into the hay upon his back, and then re
treated. In a moment the hay wasain a light
blaze, and the fellow, throwing it from him
in utter. eons ternation, ran away from his per
ishing booty. •
. The doctor kept the affair a secret even
from his own family, and within a day or
two, the thief came to him in great agitation,
and told him a grievous sin; that he had
peen tempted to steal some, of his hay; and,
as be was •carrying it away, the Almighty
was so angry with him that He had sent fire
Worn Heaven and set it to blazing• upon his
back. The Doctor, agreed to forgive hingt on
condition of, his never repeating the offense.
—Dr. Sprague. "
1=0:1==
A SOFT• Flaci..-A military officer living
in barracks ordered his lash' servant to boil
him an egg for breakfast adding. an injunc
tion to boil' it soft: The officer...oolc up a
newspaper and rend for ten . nlinntap, then
wondering why his egg did not arrive, rang
the bell. •
'Nly egg?' - •
'Pm, seeing about it.' ' ' ,
Another five 'Minutes elnpaed.
'Where's the egg?'
'Not crone, sir.'' '. . . - • ,
'Not done? Do you mean to .keep" me
waiting, all day?. Eking it direotly, sir.' "
Still no egg came. , The bell rang once
wore. '
• 'Where'll the egg?' thUndered* . the Officer.
' 'lbir honor,' cried Thomas, in alarm, 'did
not you tell me to bile it soft, sir? and havn't
I biled it this quarter ofan,hour, and it isn't
soft yet?'
• ~
-
Some of our ezobanges tell a story , about
a woman's being relieved, from speechless
grief by a hymn. We have - knoll) 'a num
ber of the sex to be strongly affected and
greatly benefited by hipts before ibis.
ug teulenantAutd-appamntly-stic
ceeded in making himself exceedingly agree
able to a Married lady accompanied by her
little daughter. By and by the train ap
proached the tunnel at Muldrough hill.—
The gay and fertive lieutenant leaned over
and whispered in the lady's ear. It was /19.
ticed that she appeared as thunder struck,
and her eyes immediately after flamed with
indignation. A moment more, and a smile
lighted up her features. What changes !
That smile, it was not of . pleasure r -hut-wa:
uiete~r as by_the-lieuten
ant—She-made-him-a-feKy which rejoiced
him apparently very much. For the uncier
standing properly of the tiaratioe—this o'er
ii• et P Eder wKar
A3- , reader - w.h - eas
wirispered — a - a — ihat was replied. Whisper
ed the lieutenant, tuean . to kiss you when
we get into the tunnel?' Replied the lady,
'lt will be - dark—who , will' Pee it ?' lnto
earth's bowels-=into the tut — i - F - 13e —rad. the
a certaia_oool-
Lady and colored nurse quietly Changed
seats. Gay lientenant' threw his arms around
the•lady sable, pressed her cheek td his, and
fast and furiously rained kisses.on her lips:
In a few moments the train, came into the
broad daylight; white lady looked amazed;
colored lady bashful, blushing; gay Ewen . -
ant befogged. 'Jane,' said thel_white—iadyr
what—have—you — b(TetidZing r Responded
colored lady, 'nothing I'., 'Yes you haye',
said the white lady, not in an under tone, but
in n voice that attracted the attention 'of all
in the ear; 'see how your collar is rumpled
and your bonnet mashed ' Jane, poor colored
_beauty, hung -her head a moment, the •ob
--,eti-of-alt-flsertrere- thr
_ser-vetr-ot-a. an ieThroing a
round to the lieutenant,replied,‘this Man hug
ged and kissed me in the tunnel!' Loud and
long was the laugh that followed among the
passengers. The white ltdy enjoyed' the
joke amazingly. Lieutenant looked like.ti
sheep-stealing dog, left the ear and was seen
no more during the trip.—Naslevitle Uaion.
down East, on entering hie office, and seeing
his apprentice boy cutting - some queer ca
pers, called out to him:
"Jim what are you doing on the floor ?"
"Why, sir, I've bed a shock ?'
"A shock.!"
"Yes, sir."
"What kind of a shock ?"
"Why, sir," said the devil gasping , "one
of your subscribers came, in during your ab
sence—said he owed yell' two years' subscrip-
tion; paid, it, and also paid another 'year in
advance."
"In advance 1" gasped the editor, near
ly as much overcome as his lone appren
tice.
"Yes, sir ; and it has produced an' effect
upon me that I have been perfectly helpless
ever since."
"And well you may Jim. But up; if
you survive this you are sate, as there is
little prospect of another such a catastro
phe."
NEGao Si RBION.—War aro,' said a sable
orator, addressing his brethren, two road tro
dis world. De one are a broad and narrow
road dat loads to perdiction, and de odes
a narrow and broad road dat leads to sure de
struction.
' What's dat?' said one of his hearers.—
'Say it again.' •
• '1 say my bredern, dar is two roads tro'
dis world. Do one am a broad and narrow
road dat leads, to pardictioo; do oder a nar
row and broad road dat leads to destruction.'
'lf dat am de case,' said his sable ques-
tioner, '4is cullud indiwidual takes to do
wood.'
EXTRAORDINARY KISSINO , ---A y0110,131a4
dy engaged as a missionary colleeter entered
a store Kingston, N. Y. and made her us
ual appeal, She was infortped by a gentle
man that lie would contribute 25 cents for
every kiss she would give him. Like a true
martyr she accepted the proposition. and soon
ran up a bill of $750. This lady imparted
300 kisses, and allowing one kiss per second,
she occupied but fifty minutes in the opera
tion.. They must have been plastered on
thick and fast hardly allowing time to taste,
An-Irish preacher was once considerably
annoyed (as many before and since, have
likewise been) by persons getting up and go
ing out of church during the sermon. His
patience being exhausted, he stopped his die.
course, and exclaimed.
"Go on my lad, I've seen the top of your
head, that's enough !"
The fellow turned around and, with an an
gry, menacing look, muttered:—
"I'll see you again sir !"
"You had better see me now," replied the
preacher, "for when I'M in the pulpit . ; I fight
for the Lord Jesus, but When I'm out of it
I fight for myself,"
"Massa ! Massa! one ob ybar oxen'am
dead,"
"One of the oxen dead?"
"Ya•as. Massa."
"Where is the other ono ?".
"Oh, ho am dead too." ' " '
"Why did'nt.you say both of them were ,
dead then ?"
"Case, Maims, I was afraid you oould'ut
bore it." r:
•
The papers offer an encourageinent to their
readers ,to PerseTiere in 'gettiogthrough their
work, by stating that an oldlady in Holland,
whose solo •occupation was housewifery,
scrubbed her sitting room floor until she fell
through into, the cellar.", . .
A man
•gagemoht
good corm
tor oomme)
should hay
her n new
owere of
,;• Z ..- ciad `•_. a•,, e s e :
NAME.,-A young lady recently
entered_a_shop-of—a-fiiTtionturilineritfor—
the.purpose of making some trifling iiirrehase.
"How is your mother, miss?" inquired the
lady. •
••She is set very well," replied Afteetion-
"AU! wha•is .the matter, with ,her,,my
dear?" , •
"She fell dojia h#rt her'etiu'rt
eey-bimWer trefy ' •'"
"Her what?" • • • ••••,.
lier — eourtsey-bendeeY ----
--"CouriseY , beiiiiil *het i's that?" inrpuired
the puzzled Mother. ,•r, , • , .
"Why, her ENF l Er,epld theblus4ing dam-_
eel.
.11•1.11
a ga was too uo ut to say LEci--stiO
A Fieriehioan was fried liichmOn& the
other, dAy, by a drumhead court martial; for
strikioga woman in one of the markets — with ,
his cane. , He was , convicted and in punish
"
punish
ment was paradedthrmigh the streets to the
tune of the "Rogn'S March," With. a large
placard, labelled "This for strikinga woman."
The populace enjoyed the affair much mote
than the Frenchman.
11===!CT
A New Y
e—denve.
entertainment is criticism, and he ventures
the itatenient that ~w hen, they go to Heav
en they will,declare that some of the harps
are out of time, that one. of the-angels takes.
liberties with the composer's text, and that
another sings fl at. 'l'hey will d
: : •e r ne a on. organ."
low DIE 3 SHOULD TREAT WOMEN.-"
A Persian poet gives the following instrue-•
tion upon this important subjeet:—"When
thou art married, seek to please thy wife,;.
but listen not to all she says. From man's
right side a rib Was taken to: form the wo
man, and never was there seen a rib quite
stralc,ht. And w +„: 4 " 4 etC-ii.L..-114-..
breaks but bends not. Since, then 'tis plain
that crooked is woman's teaper; forgive her
faults and blame her not; not let her anger
thee, nor coercion use, as all is vain to
straighten what is curved."
A HAPPY FIRESIDE•--Rome is the resi
dence, not merely of the body, but of the
heart; it is a place for the affections to unfold
and develop themselves; for children to love,
to learn and play in; for hUsbanti and wife to
.toil smilingly together, and make life a bless.;-
ing. The object of all ambition should try
to be happy at home; if we are not happy
there, we cannot be happy elsewhere. It is
the best proof of the virtues of a family dr: ,
cle, to see a happy fireside.
LABOR IN VAIN.-A goose trying to
climb up a tree to lay its eggs in a crown.
nest. An undertaker's assistant trying to
look serious over a pot of porter before pro •
ceeding to the funeral. A candidate for con—
gressional honors smiling after defeat, and
endeavoring to make the people believe be
is proud of his place on the poll. Trying to
kiss a pretty girl when she's sneezing. Try,.
log to get a.good account froth a bad ledg
er.
COMICAL good deacon eta conference.
meeting in the town of D , about thir
ty miles North of Boston, addressed lit§ au-.
ditore one Sabbath evening as follows: "My
friends, there is a new doctrine going about
now-a-days..' We are told that all mankind
are going to Heaven. But, my brethren and
sisters, we hope for better things !"
A Justice better versed, in law than gos
pel, married a couple in this way
"Hold up your , hands. You solemnly
swear that :you Will faithfully perform' thct
deities of your office, jointly .and severally,
according to your best skill and judgment,
so help you God. That's all—fee, one , dol
lar."
Old Mrs. Darnly is a pattern. of hinieltola'
economy. She says she has made a pair of
socks to last fifteen years: by only loran
new feet to them every winter,, and Dew legs
to them every other winter.
That' was a wicked boy who, when , he was
told that the beat• cure for palpitatiod of the
heart was to quit kissing the girls said, "If
that is the only 'remedy for palpitation, I.say
let her patpl"
"What's the matter Tom?" Caught a
cold; that's all. "Yes, I saw you after , one
last night, with your coat off; I thougltt you'd
catch it."
- Life is like a theatre. During the play
we take higher and lower seats, but whoa it
is over we mingle in the common stream and
go home.
Vszrub DINT.--A tablespoonful of pow
dered gawp will purify a hogshead of fotbl
water. Try it.-
I like to'see women• send their batter to
market in a dirty , olothi; it shows economy
and saves washing.. .
, -
What is the only 'secret women can keep?
their age. .
Comparatively spial4pg, a lady's gait is a
pretty thin. But her gaiter is prettier.
_ take% promptly gave, hi,
orbaoliqe stood, oat. ,
:What,do little, birth, .there Beet agree ?
Ase4Listkit.,,, , 9ql4,he dangerous, to fall
• out.
The iitivitigeliititilttme wif.dton't
is the porno* Of4:ateC"fblt!.
t....;1 .
tagA , en
possess,
refused
ipe4isher
A puoettut man can 11111Ania_leitereol__
neglippt m 113,110 vett%
f ~~~rl, ~; ''
4 ,
"2 ,11411:-
FEEZMI
.t.;'cr;
,ie‘itt*
NUABEII 9
rk iiiriter_sayaLthe-thierpleas—
b • the 13oatoaiaus , at a musical
r==ll
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