33y W. 13
VOLUME XIX
PCZAMTIC,A.Mr:
THERE IS NO DEATH
There is no death 1 The stars go down
"To raise upon somO fairer shore,
And bright in heaven's jeweled crown
They shine foravermore.
There is no death! The duit we tread
Shall change beneath the summer showers
To golden grain, tlf. mellow fruit,
Or rainbow•tinted flowers.
The granite rocks disorganize
To feed the hungry moss they bear;
; 'The forest leaves drink daily life
From out the viewless air.
ere is no death ! Th:i leaves may fall
The flowers may fade and pass away—
They only wait through wintry hours
•
The coming of the May.
There is no death ! An angel form
Walkes o'er the eartn with silent tread;
lie bears our best loved things away,
And then he calls them "dead."
Re leaves our hearts all desolate—
He,pluolts our fairest, sweetest flowers;
I • I I . ss the
Adorn immortal bowers.
'The bird-like voice whose joyous - tones —
Made glad this scene of sin and strife,
Sings now in everlasting song
Amid the Tree of Life.
And where he sees a smile too bright.
Or hearts too pure for taint and vices
He bears it to that world of light
--To-dwell in Paradise,
• nd_ever-near-us i -though-unseen,
The dear immortal spirits tread;
Por all the boundless Universe
Is life—there is no death.
••0••••
THE WORLD IS BRIGHT.
The world is bright before thee,
Its summer flowers are thine;
Its calm blue sky is o'er thee— "
Thy bosom virtues shrine;
And thine the sunbeam given
To Nature's morning hour,
Pure, warm, as e when from heaven
It burit on Eden's bower.
There is a song of sorrow— .
' The death•dirge of the sky"—
That tell, sere dawn of morrow.
These charms may fade . away;
The eon's bright beam be, shaded,
The sky he blue no more,
The summer's Powers be faded,
And youth's warm promise o'er
Th eveniri_ home may be;
Though Beauty's barque can only
Float on a summer sea;
Though time thy bloom is stealing,
There's:still beyond his art
The wild-floater : wreath of feeling—
The sunbeam of the heart.
~=SS~~I,~LI3N'~.
Natural History—The Copperhead
This curious animal is a native of North
America, and is found in all parts of the U
nion, as well as in New Jersey, Swanzey and
Marlow. Large numbers have also' emigra
ted to Canada, where they thrive very well,
notwithstanding the contempt in which they
are held by the inhabitants. Specimens have
been sent in Europe, but they are probably
carried thither by nobles for curiosities.—
The copperhead as it now exists is of recent
origin, being a hybrid produced by a "cross"
between a Southern rebel and a Northern
dough-face, but'animals of the same genius
have existed in all ages. of the world, and
Agassiz is said to have discovered ,petrified
remains of one in the- toimatiou of the Sau
rian period.
Trom its form and talent of mimicry it has
been supposed by some to belong to the mon
key tribe, but this has been zealously oppos
ed by the friends of the latter as being dis-
paragiug to the iounLeyr. In—form—it—very
much resembles the human . species. The
Male is from five to siz feet in height, gen
erally of dirt color, and when none have been
eat off to avoid the draft, has five toes and
five claws at the extremity of each fore paw
or arm. It is blustering and frothy, but cow
ardly.
The female is smaller, but vicious and sav
age. She generally has rings in her ears,
and beard on her upper lip. Her bite is
poisonous and deadly. ' We have heard of no
instance in which one has been successfully
tamed.
The copperhead is naturally a elumsyaei
null, but when nearly cornered by an oppo-
nent, it leaps from position_to_position—with
woitderful agility. It is generally a biped,
but just before election it becomes a centi
pede. It feeds upon offal and the bodies of
dead patriots, which accounts fonts joy when
the Union armies have ,beeu , defeated and
large 'numbers .of soldiers slain. Some at
tempts have been made to make use of the
copperhead in the present war, but though
it will travel northward, (townids Canada)
no means have been fdand to induce him
southward,- which is probably owing to the
fear of . the negro. But next to the - dog, the
male: copperheadis probably the most intelli
gent of 'the animal creation. He can ,be
taught to chop wood, chew tobacco, and Olen
vote and hold office.
WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN COUNTY, PENNSYLVANIA, FRIDAY MORNING,
WAS IT EVER PARALLELED ?
The year we are now pushing through,
this eighten hundred and sixty-five, stands
out in grand, bold relief from all its prede
cessors, a Star of then:at magnitude in Time's
constellation.
It saw the end ,- of the imperious S
er's Rebellion.
It saw the end of American Slavery.
Its earliest flowers covered the bier of a
nation's murdered Hero.
, The sun and showers of its young months
freshen the green grass over the martyr's
grave.
Its Spring time witnessed the grandest
funeral pageant that ever honored the dead,
or graced the living.
It saw a nation, Thirty Millions strong,
drop scalding, tears of sorrow on the tomb of
their slain Chief.
It saw the munlerer's dishonored corpse
sunk in an unknown place, ere the victim
reached his grave.
It saw a procession of grief struck mourn
ers t.Wrchousand — mile - s - in length. ,
It saw the Great Dead carried to his home
by a Nation, in whose Funeral Train cities
were pall-bearers, military chieftains the
corpse watchers, high civic functionaries
guardians of his Bier, great Imperial States
chief mourners, millions ; of uncovered heads
bowed in tearful grief as the mighty cortege
wound its solemn march under the sun-light
of day and the torch-light of night, from the
scene of active duty, to the quiet rest of an
honest man's grave.
It saw millions of a down trodden race lif.
to to dignities and responsiiilities of hu
manity. -
It saw those millions bowed — down, and
their heads bent with grief as sorrowing as
children feel at a father's grave.
It saw Villages clothed in mourning, Towns
draped in Death's - insignagrea; • : •-
pend their traffic, the buiy marts of com
merce hushedwith the awe, while tlie silence
of living Death covered with costly badges
of Woe. and thelomes of the poor draped in
the•more-simple-and-eloquent symbols of a
People's sorrow.
It heard holy ministers of Christ's Gospel
speak words. o f peace for the murdered
J)ead, and comforting condolence for the
•
kt heard the heart prayer of sincere mil
lions for the rest of the departed; _and that
his death might not leave the nation' in the
utter darkness of desolation. •
It heard a nation of mourners chant solemn
dirges in accord with organ peals and the
thunder of artillery, over the passing body
of the nation's martyr.
If respectful, manifest sorrow for the
dead, iie any proof of civilization, then did
Sixty-five witness a greater and more perfect
civilization than any 'other child of Father
Time.
.As the days of Sixty-five rolled into weeks,
and the weeks wheeled into months, the meri
dian of the year saw the people of other lands
meet in sorrow for the stricken nation, heard
their grief utterences, saw their Annointeci
Rulers bow their heads in awe of sorrowing
sympathy and for once a child of Time, saw
aw in the mourned one the in-
carnation of Freedom-loving, Liberty-practi
cing people, this impersonation of capabili
ties and possibilities of Institutions based on
the voiee of men echoing the voice of God
in the recognition of human rights and man
ly duties, the Emancipator of a Race, and the
Guarantor of their Liberties. .
It saw in the "deep damnation Ms taking
off" the possibilities and capabilities of the
barbaric system which the GREAT MARTYR
had, with a pen mightier than a conqueror's
sword, condemned to utter destruction.
It saw the world old conflict between Lib•
erty and Slavery an in favor of Lil Arty reg
ulated by Law, of Justice founded on Hu
manity, of Civilization based on Right.
Was it ever paralleled ?
• SINCLAIR TOUSEY.
If You Mean no, Say no
When a man has made up his mind to do
or not to &a thing, he should have the pluck
to say so, plainly and decisively. It is a
mistaken kindness—to meet a reqTst which
you have determined not to grant, with "I'll
think the matter over," or "I cannot give you
a positive answer now; call in a few days and
I will hit you know." It maybe said, per
haps, that the object of these ambiguous ex
pressions is to "let the applicant down easy;"
but their tendency is to give him useless
roulSlutin - d — an - xietyT - and — possibly pre vent
his seeking what he requires in a more pro
pitious quarter until after the golden oppor.
tunity is passed. Moreover, is is questiona
ble whether the motives for such equivoca
tion are as some people suppose. Generally
speaking, the individual who thus avoids a
direct refusal, does so to avert himself pain.
Men with out decision of character have, an
indescribable aversion to say' "No." They
can think "No"—sometimes when 'it would
be more creditable to their courtesy and be
nevolence to say, "Yesi"ft-but they dislike to
utter the bold word that represents their
thoughts. They prefer to miglead and de
ceive. It ity true thesc bland and_consider
often ps of as "very gen-,
Zlemanly." But is it gentlemanly to keep a
man in suspense for days, and perhaps weeks,
merely because you do not choose to put him
out of it by straightforward declarations?—
He only is,a gentleman who treats his fel
low.,meu in a manly, straight-forward way
.Never seem by ambiguous words to sanction
hopes you do not intend to gratify. If you
mean "No," out with is
At a recent railroad dinner, in compliment
to the logal fraternity, the toast was , given :
"An honest ,lawyer; the noblest work of God;"
but an old farmer' in the balloither spoiled
the effect by adding, in a load, voice, "And
about the Et arcest."
*
Te`emtrksimztroesis s .1\1"0231.1tx.a,1 in Pcswittleo mica Ite,ligicsia.
EIELE:111
A LOyal Bast Tennesseean,
The Knoxville Whig has the following his
tay-TA. a loiat East Tennesseean who has en
dured•much in' his opposition to the' rebell
.
ion: .
"Every loyal man and woman in Eat Ten
nessee has heard of Captain Shade T. Harris.
Three years ago, at• the age of 20, he left
the home of pareiati - surpassed -b -• '
East Tennesse in wealth, and. entered the
Federal army as - captain of a company which
he recruited, , In one month he returned
with the first raid made into East Tennessee
—that of General Carter. On this raid, he
left the small cavalry command of Carter for
the purpose of recruiting, and was captured
through the treachery of a rebel who pre
tended to be a Union man.
"From the 'place of capture Captain Har
ris was brought to Knoxville, lodged in jail
and donbled.ironed, having shackles on his
feet and handcuffed. Before leaving home
Captain Harris had been enroled in the reb
el army. That is, the rebel enrolling officer
wrote his name on his book, personally being
_w_ell acq_uainted_with_young_Harris_and ha,
ting him because of his bold declarations of
loyalty. The rebels themselves officially de
clared his enrolment illegal• because of the
mode in which it was nTliAi. — NAAiiiiltstand,
ing this, young Harris was zourt-martialed
as a deserter from the rebel service, and sen
tenced 'to be shot on the 13th February, '63
"The Judtre-Advocate of this Court•mar
tial was a third-rate county court lawyer of
Knoxville, who had Many Union men cow
hided, and whose name will be forever infa-"
mous in the history of the war in "'
nessee. We refer toWiliam Claiborne Kain.
Kaiu, in the prosecution of parties, was-un
-scrupulousrso—great-was—his—thirst-for-th6
blood of all Union men.
"Captain Harris was kept in the Knoxville
jail seven months.. From tnis place• he was
taken to co lurnbia,_ S. - im-prison ed
nineteen ruonths.___ln_all_he wasimprisoned
twenty six month. For twenty-five months
Captain Harris wft's in irons, a great part of
the time in a dungeon—at no time allowed
to communicate with any one. Capt. ar
ris would have been executed, but the Fed
eral authorities held a Tennessee tblood' as
hostage for him. He was exchanged on the
Ist of March, and for some time walked on
the side of his feet from laving worn shack
les twenty-five months.
"During the whole time Captain Harris
was in prison he was defiant, denouncing tilt:
confederacy and pleading the cause of the
Union when taunted and insulted by' rebel
officers and citizens. For a youth his hero
ism was sublime. With bloodhound ferocity
he was persecuted, and his hanging deman
ded by W. C Fain, John E. Toole, - W. D.
Fain and other'citizens of East Tennessee.
If Captain Harris should shoot any of these
men he would be excusable.
"While in the prison at Knoxville, he
broke his fetters, weighing from fifteen to
twenty pounds, got out of jail, and was pur
sued and re-captured by soldiers and citizens.
Eleven guns were fired at him within fifteen
steps. Prominent in the pursuit of young
Harris was an old citizen of this place Willi
am Beard. When Harris was captured,
3eard cursed him and called on the guard to
There wa§ ,po.,personal 'difficulty
'as the spirit of the rebel-
kill him
"We mention these facts that our thou
sands of subscribers in the free States may
learn the character of a large element, with
which the loyal men-of East Tennessee have
to contend,"
The Blues.
• .We take issue with the poet who says;
"man was made to mourn." To be continu
ally, or even frequently, in the dumps, is
bad philosophy and worse theology, The
woe-bygone individual who insists that
. this
is a world of misery, torture, and wrong, li
bels the beneficent Being who made it and
him, and misuses his own gifts and slanders
the G:ver:
Stocks go down and the skies are black to
Gripus, who speculated fora rise; but ,to
Toughpenny,cho. operated for a fall, they
are•bright and glorious. To the Christian
philosopher they are never wholly dark.—
He sees the silver lining through the cloud,
and the shadows-before him give comforta
ble assurance that the sun is at his hack.—
W hen people talk of having the Blues, or
being in despair, and all that sort of thing,
the inference is that something is the matter
either with their consciences, or their diges
tive apparatus. if the latter, exercise, diet
and regimen will change the color of their
thoughts-;-if-the-former,-there -isbalm _in_
Gilead" and a "physician there." We have
little sympathy for a man who suffers him
self to be prostrated by pecuniary loss. and
much less with him who succumbs to the an
ticipation of it. Such a man distrusts both
himself and God. While ho prates of panic,
he is himself its contemptible embodiment.--
What! give up and wilt down under misfor
tune; and especially in a country like this,
Acre every energetic man's, brain is a bank,
and there is a certain income derived from
every toiler's thews and muscles ! The idea
is monstrous! The prolific earth cries shame
upon it True manhood laughs it to scorn.
_Despairris - not — excusable even in those
who are inhabited from all usefuloccupa
tion,s by the dispensations of Providence.—
Not even the sick, the crippled and the blind
are justified in considering their fate in
supportable. There are ten good Samari
tans to every Levite in this generous land;
and when did disabled and helpless honesty
appeal to American hearts fur succor in
vain ?
Unless a man has lost "the immediate jew
el of his soul," his character, he has no cause
for despair, however poor. Even in that
case, although of all losses the loss of repu
tation is the most dfficult to retrieve, reform
is still possible, and the backslider who
sets about the work in earnest will find en
couragement and material aid as lie gets along.
PLEASURES OF DOME:
Two birds in one nest,
Two flowers on one stem, • , •
Two dropsihat unito
• .In one crystal gem.
The birds rocked to rest
•
• trees• •
The flowers•ca reseed •
By the whispering breeze.
The crystal concealed
In the heart of a rose,
•While aronnd it the folds
Of its soft petals close.
Two hearts that unite
' 'Neath one bosom to beat,
Beating to time
Of love's dancing feet.
Ignorance a Crime in a Republic)
Under the above title Horace Mann thus
eloquently and earnestly discourses on the
subject of - popular-education:—
“In all the dungeons of the Old World,
where the strong champions of freedom are
now 'irking in captivity beneath the rinnorse-
ieSs power .of . the tyrant, ihe morning sun
does not send a glimmering ray into their
cells, nor does night draw a thicker veil
of darkness between them and the world,
but the lone prisoner lifts his iron-laden
arms to heaven in prayer, that we, the de
positaries of freedom , ant of human hopes,
may be faithful ft, '
177---"
/Ti:ifElt 7 ll — t — lcl, the pensioned advocates
of despotism stand, with listening ear, to
catch the first sound of lawless violence that
is wa rom oursores , th - note - t rst - 1
breach of faith or act of perfidy amongst us,
to convert them into arguments against lib
erty and the rights of man.
e experience of - the ages t tat are past,
-the-hopes-of-the-ages--that---are-yet-to-come r
unite their voices in an appeal to us;—they
implore us to think more of the character of
our people than of its numbers; to look upon
our natural resources, not as tempters to os
tentatim mid pride, but as a means to be
converted, by the refining alchemy of educa
tion, into mental and' piritual treasures; they
supplicate us to seek for, whatever compla
cency or self-satisfAction we are disposed to
indulge not in the extent of our territory,
or in the products of our soil, but in the ex
pansion and perpetuation of the means of hu
man happiness; they beseech us to exchange
the luxuries of sense for the joys of charity,
and thus Dive to the world the example of
nation whose wisdom increases with its pros ;
perity, and whose virtues are equal to its pow
er. For these ends they enjoin upon us a
more earnest, a more universal, a more reli
gious devotion to our exertions and resour
ces, to the culture of the youthful Mind and
heart of the nation. Their gathered voices
assert the eternal truth, that, in a republic,
ignorance is a crime; and - that private humor
ality is not less an opprobrium to the State•
than it is guilt in the perpetrator!'
PRESERVE YOUR. STRENum—Some of
our newspapers think that as we have shown
lion, we ought to go to work bullying Eng
and and h`r•,ne is-the—Philadelphi •
Ledger remarks:.
"The way to make. England and France
respect our national rights is to keep our
selves-strong by peace, not weakening our
selves with fareign wars. We may be strong
enough to chastise rebellion, but it does not
follow that just as we come out of such a
cOntestovith three millions of debt to pay
for it, we are prepared to attack two of the
most powerful' nations on the globe, - for a
Matter of opinion in one instance aed a clues
tion of equity in the other. Let us contin
ue to mind our own busines as we have hith
erto done, and go diligently to work at the
arts of industry; then we may repair the rav
ages of the war we have just finished. That
this war Idid not dry up our entire resources,
we have reason to thank Heaven for, but
have no excuse at all for wasting them now
in another and more doubtful experiment to
gain nothing, but merely to show how strong
we are.
IM=IEII
SERMON TO A PREAOHER.—Never shall I
forget the remark of a learned legal friend,
fwho was at one. time somewhat skeptical in
his views. Said he to me: "Did 1 believe
as you do, that the masses of our race are
perishing in sin I could have no rest. I
would labor day and night. I would' speak
with all the energy and pa thos. I could sum
ott. _Lwould warn .and_e_zpostulate and P -
trea tmy fellow-men to turn unto Christ;
and receive salvation at his hands. lam
astonished at the manner in whieh the ma
jority of you ministers toll your .message.—
Why, you do not act as if you believed your
own words. You have not the earnestness
in preaching that we lrwyers have in plead
ing. If we were as tame as you are, we
would never carry a single suit." .
A decade of years has passed away - sine
that remark wag made. I bless Uod it was
addressed to me. It put fire in my 'bones
which I hope will burn- as long as I. live.—
God p_reached_a_stirring—serrnon—to-me - that
day by the mouth of that infidel lawyer.
'You are dismissed,' said the superinten
dent, austerely, 'for letting your train come
twice into collusion." "The •very reason,"
'said• the other, interrupting him. "why I
asked to he restored." "How so?". Why,
sir, if I had any doubt before, as to whether
two trains can pass each other on the same
track, lam now entirely satisfied. I have
tried it twice, sir, and it can't be done, and
am not likely to try it again." He regained
his situation by his jest, and, it is said, kept
it afterwards by his greater prudence.
Why is a hen seated on a fence like a cent?
Because the head is on one side and the tail
'on the other.
JUNE, 30, 1865.
An inCident, not generally known concern
ing one of the St. Albans raiders, has recent
ly come to light.' Immediately after his ac
quits), one of the raiders-, having little faith
in the judge's decision, determined to leave
the country. It being unsafe to travel -un
less disguised, he bethought himself for a
while. The difficulty was perplexing,. and i
time was scarce; if he stopped much longer:,
he won a I,.ey ae a res e, ina ere were
few disguises the lynx-eyed officers of the
law had not seen through. The idea, how,
ever, struck him. He hired a baby, payin ,,
$4OO as security for its safe return. He
then dressed himself as a lady, and started
for Halifax with the child, and for a great
part of the way had for an escort. the very
officer detailed to catch him. He, however,
gives the detective a very good recommenda
tion for gallantry, for during the trip, there
was nothing either himself or child needed
that the officer of the law did not get for
them, He arrived safely in Halifax, and
took passage for Europe.
APT REPLY.-4 veteran relates the fol
lowing:--It happened that a mule driver was
engaged in leading an unruly mule for a
short distance, which job 'roved as much as
he was able to do, and gave full employment
for both of his hands. As he was thus en
gaged, a newly appointed brigadier rode by
near him, in all the consequental radiancy of
his starlight, when the mule-driver hailed
him as follows: '
"I say, I wish you of
sere to help me miens this
mule."
_ The brigadier, indignant at being so famil
iarly addressed, sternly replied.
'Do you know who you are addressing?"
"Yes," was the reply; "you - are General
, I believe."
"Th.netbyiko_y_au_not,silate me before
addressing me?" inquired the brigadier.
get off' and hold the mule."
The brigadier retired in good order.
REAL RLOQUENCE.—There are no people
in the world with whom eloquence is so
universal as with the Irish. When Leigh
Ritchie was traveling in Ireland, he pass
ed a IN it ti who was a painful spectacle of pal
lor, , squalor and Jaggedness. Ii is heart
smote him as he passed, and he turned
back.
"If you are in want," said Ritchie, with
a degree of peevishness, 'Why do you . not
beg ?"
"Sure, it is beggin' hard I am, your bon-
"You didn't say a word."
"Of course not your honor; but see how
the skin is spakin through the holes in me
trowsers, and:the bones cryin' out through
me skin! Look at me sunken cheeks; and
the famine that is starin' in me eyes! Man
alive! isn't it beggin' I am with a thousand
tongues?"
,
What right has any person, endowed with
an ordinary share 'of intellect, and blessed
with'a respectable share of good health to
despond? What is the cause of desponden-
is a weak mind, and the meaning is sin.-
-P-ro-v-i den ce-n eve r—i tended—that—one-of-1y;
creatures should be the victim of a desire
feel and look the gloom of the thunder cloi
Although we cannot expect all our days
hours to be gilded by sunshine, we must,
for mere momentary griefs, suppose that t,
are to be enshrouded in the mists of. miss
or clouded by the opacity of sorrow and
fortune.
The Kentucky rebel sympathizers are c
Ting their. children with bad names.
Louisville Press says. that at a quilting IN
in the neighborhood of Bloomfield the. (
cr day, where all the neighbors had gatl
od for a jollification, there vllas of cows(
grand array of the "young hopefuls" of
country. A friend took the ,names of
rising generation, and found three Jeffs,
Braggs two John Morgans. two Beaurega,
one Stonewall, one Dixie, and one Sue A 7
day.
The race for getting married displays
self in sundry matrimonial advertisements
the newspapers. Those who desire to
tempt the lottery of marriage, should rem,
ber what Dr, Johnson said of it, that it
like flies on a window, those outside wanting
to get in, those inside wanting to get out; or
the words of Sir Thomas More's father, who
compare's a man disposed to marry, to one
wh
_put itishand_into-a_bag-containing one
eel to,a Hundred snakes, where. the ;liven
turnr is more likely to be bitten than to se
cure a prize.
The bottle is the devil's cruicible, in which
everything is melted. .
The buyer needs a hundred eyes, the sel
ler but one.
A smatterer in everything is generally
nod for nothing.
Great talkers are like o - tacked pitchers;
everything runs out of them.
At a fashionable dinner eat slow!
matter-of-couse.-
Do GOOD DEEDS.- One pound of gold
may be drawn into a wire that would extend
around the globe. So one good deed may
be felt through all time, and cast its influence
into all eternity. Though done in the first
flush of youth, it may gild the last hour of
a long lite, and form the brightest spot in
'it.
Bashfulness imere frequently connected
with good sense than assurance; and hniu
deuce, on the uther hand; ie often the effect
of downright stupidity. • '
Idea is a shadow that departeth; spe'det
is fleeting as the wind; reading is an tidre
membered pas4me; but writing is eternal. ,
ilia.oo Vox. mroa,
A 800 STORY.—A. friend of "his-- , said
Preside& Linenid—passing. along a village -
street, was painfully bittett by , an ugly dog.
A single blow of a" heavy stick, skillfully
aimed,_killed_the animul_instantly; but the—.
enraged pedestrian still continued to pummel
the whelp, till little , vestige of canine fOrm
remained. At length he was acosted with,
•'What are you about?. That dog has been
-al • 6 11 . ," ' •?I
the reply; but I want to give the beast a re
alizing sense that there is a pun ish went after'
death."
MRS. PARTINGTON :S LAST.—lsaac was
reading to his thither the head lines of a tel
egraph zolutun of the Tribune, of last week,
and when he carne• to •'Jeff. Davis to be con
fined at Fort Lafayetta, "the-old lady'- threw
up. her hands, exclaiming: "Laws-a-we! 1
knew that he wore petticoats, but 1 didn't
think that would happen 'to him ! Well;
the confederacy is a amnia' to pieces!" The
old lady resumed her kuittirig, and .Lsatie his
reading.
A HANDY ARTICLE.—Adam Shoemaker,
a number of years ago, came to Huntingdon
_l_:urnaee, and_seeing_there,_for_tite_first
a pair of snuffers, he asked—
"What's th'eu► fat?'
"To /muff the candle."
The candle - just then needed attention,
and Adam, with his thumb and finger pinch
edoff the snuff, and carefully puhed it into
T=i .rs, saying—
" Well, now; theufs handy."
A Yankee auctioneer lately indulged in
te;followitp , thetit:
"tientlemen, if my father and mother
stood where you do, and didn't buy. these
boots, these elegant boots, when they were
going for one dollar,l. should feel it, my du
ty as a son, to tell 'both of them, that they
"iv — e - rirfatslytti — th - eniscives — al - laise - to — threr
country!"
"Do you keep nails here ?" asked a slee
py looking lad, walking into a hardware shop
the other day.
"Yes," replied the gentlemanly proprietor,
"we keep all kind of nails. , What kind will
you have, sir, and how many ?"
"Well," said the boy sliding towards the
door, "I'll take a pound of finger nails and a
pound and a half of toe nails." .
A little girl about foUr years old, and a
little boy, about six, had.been cautioned not
to take away the nest eggs;„ but one morning,
when they went for th e egg, the little girl
took it and started for the house. Her dis
appointed brother followed, crying, "Mother!
Mother! Susey' been and got the egg the old
hen measured by!"
A St. Louis paper says that the grasshop
.pers have eaten up the entire tobacco crup
of Franklin county, and the last that was
heard from them, they were seated on the
corners, Lewin!' every mien that passed for
a chew. .
e ow Jondon Star tells us dark old
fellow who visited that city, who for the first
taTraTio-nunq
likes to see him do it :when he measures out
onions, as well as when he hollers glory hal
leluyez:
Wity_is_a_piwtographc—alb-um—liktr - the
drainer of a bar-counter? Because it is of
ten a receptacle fur empty mugs.
One of our soldiers says he asked .a Ken
tucky farmer why he did not plant fruit
trees. "Do you think," said ho, "that I
want a perch of rocks and clubs thrown into
my lot every year ? • No, sir, I do not want
any apple trees on my farm."
What's 'whiskey bringing ?". Inquired a
large dealer in that article. "Bringing meu
to the gallows and women and_ehildren to.
want," was the truthful reply.
—as a
What is the difference between a drum
mer boy and a pohnd of meat ? Ans.—One
weighs a pound, and the other pounds away.
"John, did Mrs. Green get the medi
ciae I ordered?" "I guess so, replied John,
"I saw crape on the door the next morn
ing!'
May not a bird who sleeps upon the wing
be said to occupy ereathlr-bed?
Hope is like a bad clock, forever striking
the hour of happiness'whether it, has coma
or 'not.
- What is smaller than. a mite's mouth ?
That which is put into it.
a a ri eln tle rai roa
- ....0
!!M!!!E!M!lall