Village record. (Waynesboro', Pa.) 1863-1871, February 05, 1864, Image 1

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    -vv.
VOLUME XVII
NEW GOODS ! NEW GOODS!
JEFF. DAFT
AND HIS
DATEEEMB7 !
sucked! in. Ins attempts to
close out
JOSEPH FilCh:
PROVE
• -1 '
,1 1 31 7-
- :(1-1
OrWITHSIT.kNtIiNG the hail drains by
~ ‘ Let me alone" Quartermasters in July I
am happy to inform itiy customers and the public
generally that lam on soani again with a forge
Supply than ever of NEW end FRESH .
DEL ADD Villi Ell
IPYOOIIIS,
GROCER/ES,
HARDWA.ItE,
QTTEENSWARE,
BOOTS,
SHOES,
HATS, &c.
Which I con Intl will sell as cheap as the cheep:
est "or any other man."
rLABIES NUL
131 k. and Fancy
All Wool Detainee,
Turin Cloth,
Figured Detainee,
Poplins,
Freneh and English Merinos,
Alpacris, ' -
Shepherd Plaids,
Cloaking Cloths of every (pall
ty, color and des& iruion.
MOURNING GOODS
Ent.' French Merinos
f , • English do.,
all Waal Detainee,
- Thhathera Cloths,
Tulin Cloths,
English ()rapt.
" Prints,
French Crape,
Plush. lined tiountieta,
Crape Ribbons,
Hoods,
.Nubios,
Balmorals;
and everytring to make the sad. mourner look beau
tiful in all her sorrow.
G-ENTS' WEAR,
Broad Clothe, Blk. and 1 line 3, Cassimerea, Bea.
ter Cloths, Silk and Velvet Vesting, Morin.) Shifts
and Drawers, Fancy Flannel `'hires, Linen mar
sails and Cash. shirt Frontsy Neck Ties, Collars
Handlers, Hose, Suspendets, and anything and
everythig to cause him to break a ladle's heart, or
make him inesentable at the house of Queen Vic.
WOOLEN GOODS,
AII colors, Bay State Maness,
Gray,
Brcl,
Solferino,
Rea Twilled Flannel)
Gray do. do.,
Green do. do
Yellow do.
uaAavat auula,a,4
Bro Muslini
Tickings,
Jeans,
Denims,
Burlaps,
Sheetinga,
Pi
Allowcasemualiny
Hickory Stripes
Canton Flannels.
GROCERIES
QUEENS,V7.&RE.
We have a full and complete stock and will sell
*very 4ow, come and see foryoureelvos." To see is
to buy. Remember theplace. Northeast (*nor Of
'44e Diamond.
Oct. 23. , 30$. P 1 ICE
NOTBER lot of Beautiful Baltuorala jug re
ceiveJ at (nov 27) Palux,'a
A . mor aarr ik s r wervirszystpiple a ilVemtrulii. ]Politics aarkell.
WAYNESBRO', FRANKLIN - COIINTI; PENNSYLVANIA, FRIDAY. MORNING, FEBRUARY 6, 1864.
IPCIXEITICULIA.
sais - nw - A — sT - ow.
A little ship was on the sea
It was a pretty sight,
It sailed along so pleasently,
And all was calm and bright,
When, lo ! a storm besan to rise, •
The wind blew loud and strong
It blew the clouds across the skies,.
It blew the waves along—
It blew the clouds, &e.
And all hut One were sore afraid
His head was on a pillow-laid,
Arid He was fast asleep ;
"Master, we perish ! Master, save !".
They cried ; their Alaster'heard ;
rciatilvd the wind and wave.
And stilled Cleat with a word
Morose,
A noble ship, oar country dear,
Has weathered many a gale—
Yet now a storm beats so severe
That many stout hearts quail ;,
But one who rides upon the storm
Can sive us from all ill;
iNc only want to hear his voice
Commanding "Peace, Ile still !
We'only want,&c.
Of Jesus! Master! hear, we pray,
Remove the chastening rod;
Let not our foes exulting say, •
There is no help in God."
From threatening storms preserve our land,
Ilebtke the winds and waves; •
And let us one united band,
Rejoice in God who saves.
Itanumajto
FASHION EXTRAORDINARY.
The (laughter sits in the parlor, -
And rocks in an easy chair ; -
She's clad in her silks and satins,
And jewels are in her hair;
She winks, and giggles, ai d simporg,
And simpers, and giggles, and winks,
And though she talks but little,
'Tis vastly more than she thinks.
Her father goes clad in his.russet,
And ragged and seedy at that;
His coats-are all out at the elbow—
He wearta most shocking bad hat.
He's hoarding and saving his shillings,
So carefully day by day,
While she, on her beaux and her poodles,
IS throwing it all away.
She lies about in the morning •
.Till nearly the hour of noon;
Then Comes down snapping and snarling,
Because she is called too soon.
Her hair is still in the papers,
Her checks all dabblt d with paint—.
Remains of her last night's blushes, '
Before she intended to faint °
She falls in love with a fellowt
Who struts with a fureign air ;
He marries her for her money—
She marries hnti fur his hair ;
One of the very best matches—
Both are mated in life!
She gets a fool for a husband,
And he gets a fool for a wife !
maxacrmx,x...cLwv.
"When we think," says Dr, Channing,
"that every house might be cheered by in
telligence-,—disinterested ness - md — refinetuent
and then remember in how many houses the
higher powers and affections of human na
ture are buried as in toombs, what a daak
.noss gathers over society 1" Well may the
cloud of darkness deepen and enlarge. espe
cially after so much boasting of ours that
we are' in the van of the nations of the world
for intelligence and refinement and general
culture, f•Iow many homes aro really cheer
ed and made perpetually happy by the intro
duction of books, of music, or even of the
family paper ? In how many homes might
not an almost miraculous change be wrought,
if only by the presence of a good newspaper!
That presence gives birth to a 'brood of new
thoughts, awakens a distinct class of domes
tic associations. stimulates the higher and
warmer sentiments,' opens the social faculties
to the performance of a good and healthy
work, and insensibly draws all the members
of a fhmily together, waking one whole and
harmonious oirele ) where before was, perhaps
)rd.
The influences of these little things aro
far more potent and permanent, than people
generally have an idea of; they work active
ly, oven if they are not seen, in the very fact
of-their-operation-AV_e zreatly err wh%n we
underrate those influences i for they to • o
hold closely and powerfully on our liyes and
our happiness. A family in whose midst no
radiance springs from the working of affec
tion, and the exchange of • sweet and high
and tender sentiment s is a dweller in regions
of darkness indeed, and will never know their
real capacity for enjoyment until they have
come out of this valley of gloom and despair.
What wonder that our pnblio affairs are in
such a state of publication, when private
lives are so many of them unsatisfactory and
in darkness ?,
Never do that by proxy which you can
do youreielf. • ,
In former days, when open fire-places.
were in fashion, every room thus supplied
possessed a ventilator poisonous gases, like
sparks, having a natural . tendency to go up
wards. But new, when air-tight stoves, and
rooms as nearly•air-tight as'they_cati-well be ,
- nitie - th - e - order of the day, the best
method of ventilating an apartment is a mat
ter of vital importance. People who give
attention to the subject mtlit-be—enTivinced-of
the deleterious influences of an impure atmos
phere. Those who have made it a study
have traced the origin of dyspepsia, palm.).
nary complaints, and other diseases, among
which way be named tumors and other mor
bichsecret:ous, to a small, imperfectly venti
lated sleeping apartment.
Some who read these remarks May have
heard the story ' of the canary, whose mis
tress fearing that it would suffer from the
cold air of a wintry . night, hung its cage at
the tizqiT)343 a ire hiadr poste lnaide the
,bed curtains. In the moroiog her pet bird
wab dead The :foul gases, prevented by the
curtains• from escaping, being condensed as
they ascended, so impregnated the air that
, t could — -Atari
it could - Tot s — taitain tiro li e .ie
whose delicate frame had been fashioned lr
the , hand of Him who cannot err, for, the pure
.air and flowery groves of those sunny isles
or the'sea—Canaries.-
It is true that draughts of air ought not to
be permitted to pus in direct range with the
bed, yet, as the respirable portion of the air
becomes exhausted, a fresh supply should by
some means, be admitted into the room, or
the inmates instead of being invigorated, will
rise in the morning languid and unrefreshed.
This will - be the case with children even
more than with grown persons, their organs
of resperation being weaker and less fully
developed ; and to this, no doubt, the pee
vishness and irritableness, which they often
exhibit• when they first rise in the morning;
may be traceable.
The same causes of complaint exists rela
tive to our school rooms. The who
enters with bueyant_spirits,_feeling sure - Of
his lesson's, is soon conscious of a listlessness
• strives to overcome. -In the
meantime his perceptions ecome •u_
confused; he fails to recite his lessons per
fectly, and is admonished—it may be punish
ed for inleness and inattention. And yet he
is not in fault •
Our churches are open to the same impu
tation. Much has been said, and not with
out cause, relative to the drowsiness of many
who assemble for public worship Among
these are sometimes professors of—religioni
whose piety is thereby called in question.—
They try to rouse themselves, but succumb
to the depressing influences of impure air.
Nor will-the preacher be 'exempt. He too
is human, and subject to the infirmities of
the flesh. His energy will be impaired, and
the great truths, which, at first, had presen
ted themselves to his mind in bold and clear
relief, become faint and indistinct : and
when he leaves the house of God, it, is with
a weary heart, and a feeling that he has fail
ed in preaching the, gospel with the fervor
and earnestness demanded by a subject so
momentous. God has made an abundance
of pure air, and given it • without stint and
without price, to old and young, rich and
poor alike. And ow the free use of this gift
of the, great Creator's beneficence, largely de
pends the health, happiness, and efficiency
of every individual- bet it be as freely used
as it is freely given.—Notlier's Journal.
,:,ht be
lave teen ured to ha house an: t reir ru
in accomplished, and it is believed that not
a few of these unfortunate victims have met
with, violent deaths by their seducers. The
building is in a very dilapidated condition,
but was purchased a few days since by the
Jefiersonville Railroad Company, on account
of the room it affords for offices• In repair
ing the building the workmen took up the
old floor, and to their astonishment, discov•
ered the remains of several of the young la
dies supposed to„have been murdered in the
house years ago, together with the skeleton
of an infant, wraped in cloth. , The remains
of the unfortunate creatures have reposed
for, perhaps, upwards of thirty years beneath
the door of this notorious house and until
very recently it has been occupied by differ
ent persons during this entire period. The
maidens whose skeletons are exhumed, had
they lived would now be in the meridian of
life. In all probability their murderers have
ere this passed from earth, and rendered
urn , .• • , , ,
THE AIR W.E BREATHE.
IVlysteriono Development.
On the corner of Wall and trout sts., in
the city of Jeffersonville, Indiana, says the
Louisville Journal, stands an ancient brick
building which was used in the' olden times
as a hotel. Of this building we have heard
many romantic tales, and traditions of every
hue and character are associated with it by
the old citizens of the place It was once
the rendezvous of a desperate class of peo-
pe, an. many . sr. an. — c" . :i. y crimes are
known to have been committed within its
walls Many innocent and unsuspectinc. girls
..
its justice upon all who escape the penalty
of their crimes iu this world
A young farmer asked an old •Scotehman
for ativice.in bis pursuit. He told him.what
had-been-the-searet_ol_his - own success in
fanning, and concluded with t e o To — tfing
warning: 4 'Never, Sandie, never, above all
things, never got in debt; but, if ever you
do, let it be - for manure k".
MORE 0410011 TAAN TR U 4 BtlAtts &Milt
—Billy was asleep when the elder came a
round witlOhe contribution box, at the mis
sionary meeting, the other evening. "Conte,
William, give us something," suid the elder.
"Can't do it," said Billy, "1 owe too much."
"But, William, you owe the Lord a larger
debt than you owe any one else." "That's
true elder, but he diet pusking_me_ Zit c my
other creclacirs-1"
The Dutchman and the Rebel Cur
_ -reYroy..
During General Led's invasion of Penn.
sylvania, last summer, a detachment, of the
rebel army, bad poasession for a few days, of
'the thriving town of Hanover, in the county_
of Tork,-lying--sorne - tweetyir more wiles
west of Gettysburg. Apprised of their cow=
ing, the merchants and business men of the
town, mostly placed their moveable good('
safely, out of-the reach of the pilferers.-
- Tlcers e cured-bu t ttle-bo o OA he,
could lay their hands on, however they
not fail to bag
Among the heaviest losers: was one of the
landlords,. of the town, the proprietor of a
well•stocked and well-conducted country tav
ern. At his house, thi hungry rebels made
themselves "well at home."
Without leave or license, they devoured
his stook orbaeon, beef and poultry; consu
med all his flour, which they forced the
landlady to bake into bread and pies : used.
• aa e occu iied his beds, and of course,
drauk up his entire stoe.- o liquors. Oft •-,
before they came, ho had ten ore dozen bar
rels; when they' left, not so many pints, fur
what the could not uzzle on the s of the •
contrived to take along
I _As they were aboal taking, their depar
ture, for Gettysburg, a Georgia Colonel, ex
hibiting a degree of conscientiousness not
shared by the rest of his associat&, remark
ed to the landlord, that it was "a pity" to.
consume so much of.a man's property, with
out any compensati3a, and that if no one
else ,would extend justice to him he would,
at the same time throwing, oa the, bar, a bill
of the denomination of twenty dollars.—
"There," said the rebel chieftain, "my good
fellow, take that as my share of our • indebt.
oduess." "Vot kind of mouish is dat ?" in
quired- the landlord, one of the class of Penn
sylvania Germans so proverbial alike for sa
gacity and integrity.
"That sir, is a greyback ; in other words,
a note of the Confederate States of America."
"0, stranger," said the hotel keeper, "if you
_hash_ not got, no petter monish dan dat,
potter keeps it, I don't vont none of.it; it is
good for nix; no petter dun plank paper."
-"Sirrejoined-the-soniewhat indignant epau •
1--A-14-s4- 3 ,043--t-calt and
be glad for the opportunity. You will soon
find that it is the best money in the world.
Keep it, sir,_keep-it."-
"Nein, nein," retorted Mynberr of the
swinging sign ; "dat monish will never be
wort.anything shere nor anywhere. 1 not
give one thalet fora basket full, I von't be
seen mit it in my hand end writ! don't take
it-along. I rolls it up, holds it at the candle
uu liyfAts my pipe mit it."
He was'about suiting the action to the
word, when the Georgian took the no up,
up,
from the counter, anu returned it to hri wal
let. This is not fiction, but an actual occur
rence. The Hanover landlord deserves praise,
not for his loyalty alone. in the presence of
an insolent foe, but is also, to be commended
for his financial sagacity ; which is far ahead
of Memminger himself.—Exchange.
A Man with two Wiv3s.
Among the complications to which mar
riage contracted with strano•ers give rise
there are few more bizarre than that of a
German, who found himself honestly a biga
mist and very innocently criminal. About
twelveyears ago a laborer in a small town of
Silesia. living in misery, and the father of
two children, embarked for America, with the
consent of his wife. in order, if possible to
better their circumstances. He was success
ful, and sent home, during two years, assist.
ante to his family, addressing his letters and
his money to the curate of the parish; as his
wife could not read.
' But the third year ho received from his
pastor advice of Lis wife's death and a cer
tificate of his wife's decease. At the same
time the curate informed him that ho had
taken the two children himself, being Tema
fiefLthat-thei r-fat;
,chair.
.:.her-would not :Oland - on-them:
The father sent three or four`hundrod thal
ers a year to the charitable tutor, and after
a ceitain time married again.
Fortune still continued to smile, and re
cently he has returned to Germany with his
second wife, to make a visit and take his two
children back with him to America.
Arrived at his native-town he encounter
ed'a-poor Woman pushing a little muck-cat•c
to which a boy was harnessed, and, struck
with astonishment, he exclaimed to his com
panion. "If I had not the certificate of my
wife's decease, I mild swear ,that wretched
woman was she."—lie was not mistaken.
Operating for his own profit, the curate
had sent a false certificate of the death, and
had ' himself appropriated the money sent
from America. The unhappy man who had
become unwittingly a bigamist, deposed a
complaint against the miserable
.pastor who
wag arrested, and he himself with his two
wives, who were equally dear to him, embark
ed at Hamburg for America. A complica
tion like this may not find a denouncement
satisfactory to all parties, except upon the
borders of the Salt Lake.
'WHAT "COPPERHEAD" MEAI4I3.—For the
benefit of those who do not find Copperhead
in the dietionaay, we give the following anal-
oneptracy.
Oftpohition-to_th.
Peaeu on any terms.
Piracy. f: .
Enmity to the 'Union. • •
Recognition of the C. S. A.
Hatred of the government.
Earnest sympathy with trattore.
Anarchy.
A tender hearted widower tainted at tho
funeral of bis third beloved. "What shall
we do With him ?" asked a friend of
"Let him alone." said a waggish; bystander`;
"he'll $301120-Wife," • • „ . •
A Patriotic Kentuckian.
The Ptovoat Marshal . ut the Eighth
Die
t4ict of Kentucky ; .having inVitect all who ,
had been enrolled to . show cause for exemp
tion, received the following_spicy letter from •
a-person—, inrhis - jurisdictiOn, who sigos him
self Williard Davis;
DEdta I have Seen your advertise
ment giving the people desiring exemption
from the coming draft au opportunity to lay
in their complaints, &c. Nuw, air I have
rever had the honor of your acquaintance ,
but .1 can refer you truth of what
am about to say to to my worthy friend,
James D. Foster, fi urreun, and a member of
your honorable Board .' Ny complaints are
as follows. viz :
I have no broken limbs, I have no chro.
nie disease, such as inflammatory rheuma
tism,. chronic inflammation of the stomach,
phthisic, white swelling, I ain Lot blind ,
in either eye. I and not bandy-shanked. 1
am not knock-kneed. lam not bow-legged.
I have no bad teeth. and can bite off a. car
fidge,l---stand-straight-01,v-layi
I have never been drilled in the Southern
army, and have never been so fortunate as
to be a member of the sympathising_paity_
ic Madison. I have" no impediments in my
speech. lam neither near-sighted nor far
sighted. I can hear 'well; I can hear - tlfe - 1
ring of a musket as well as the Twig of a sit- I
ver dollar. In short, lam sound •in wind
arid limb. lam about 28 years old, lam a
housekeeper, and have a wire (a gp.l
woman,) and uo children living. lam aci-t
-izen of Madison county,. Kv. ; from which , '
you want 2 39 soldiers. I assn as brave fis
ny than who is no braver than I 71111. 01101
of my legs is as long as the other, and both"
are long enough to run well. I am for the!
"last man and the lest dollar," nigger or no!
nigger, •especially "the last man." It you.
have a good musket marked "U. send(
it down, and lam ready to bear it in de- 1
fence of the Union. lam no , foreigner, and
claim all the papers that entitle MO to
• "
The Late Archbishop Hughes.
The Harrisburg Telegraph, in mit:rung to
this distinguished Archbishop, says that
"the biographers of gishep Hughes . luil to ,
men toll one in a
his career in_this country. It is well estab
lished that his orZ , in was very humble, and
that he reached die distinguished eminence
which he occupied before he died, alone by
the force of his native genius and wonderful
graces andaecompliShments of mind and per•
, - s - on, --- The fact to Which we desire to refer
is, that Bishop Hughes wrought as a. day la
borer in making turnpike in the Cumberland
Valley. He himself' often. referred to this
fact l when talking with Pennsylvanians, of
'
the great growth and mighty progress of the
Commonwealth, and ho seemed to regard his
experience as an honest laborer with the
pride and the satisfaction which belong to .
the true dignity of labor. This incident in
the career of this great man should be care
fully studied by all who toil for honest living,
and should inspire every young man of the
land who now labors with the pe and cour
age and virtue which raised the laborer,
John Hughes, to the highest distinction in
his Church, and the greatest honors among
the intellects of his age. — •
Some of the Horrors
OD Thursday night we witnessed a scene'
that beggars description. Five hundred
Rebel prisoners were brought in from Camp
Nelsen, and, without .4keeptions, they were
the most wretched pitiful looking set we
have seen since the commencement rof' the
war. !deny of the poor fellows were in their
shirt sleevs and barefootei. They were near
ly starved, and their capture wily undoubt
edly save the most of them froth a miserable
death. These men were captured from Long.
street's command, and they state that his en
tire ariny,is in the same miserable condition:
'They e tl y alit.ared to be well satisfied with the
- gc — tley had experienced, and, in fact
congratulate themselves upon their happy
deliverance from the terrible position in
which they were placed. There were twen
ty commissioned officers among them. rank
ing from Colonels / down to Lieutenants, - but
we could perceive no distinction in their
dress from the privates. - Those of them that
could boast of an old piece of carpet, or the
i remnant of what was once a shawl or blank
et, appeared to be looked upon'svitit envy by
(;heir less fortunate comrades. They were
'confined in the military prison, and will be
sent to one of the Northern camps,in a few
i days —Louisvil c Jourha.l;.
STITCHES IN A SIIIRT—.The follan•int; is
singular calculation of the number of stitch
es iu a, shirt :—Stitching the collar, four
rows, 4000; sewing the odds 500 ; button
hells, and sewing on buttons, 155;' sewing
the collar and gathering the neck' 1204 ;
stitching . wristbands, 1528; sewing the ends,
68; button holes 148: hemming the slits,
264; gathering the sleeves 849 ; setting on
wristbands, 1468: stitching on shoulder
straps, three rows each, 1830; hemming the
"g m ,. q • I . CP 1 .• IV'
ting in sleeves and guesetts, 3050; tapping
th-3-sleeves;ls26; sewing the ;--
setting side gussets in, 424; hemming the
bottom, 1104 . Total" number of stitelies, '
20,620. And for this work moue, women
receive only 62i cents.
_
of the Icelanders that they- scrupulously ob
serve the usage,of reading the Stored Scrip.
tures every morning, the whole family loin.
ing in the singing and prayers. - When the
Icelander awakes; he salutes nobody until ho
has saluted God. Ho usaally hustena to tho
door, adoreei there the Author of and
Providence, and then step back itito" the
dwelling. saying toliis family, , !God grant
ytiea'good . day," :What: a beautiful il us
!ration-this of the on
, the part Of households to- recognize and wn
ship- crud. .
ent.e&Ce coilretistr.
Ht7.111 , 011,0TT5,.
rttAN , WEIO WOULD NOT PAT lde
PRINTER.--=May he be Ahod with lightning'
and - compelled to• wander. over . deserts' of
gunpowder. • . ,
May he have sore eyes, and a Chestnut'
bur for an eye atone.
. May his sorrow double daily, and his days
lengthen in the vitae ratio that his sorrows,
are, multiplied.
Nay Over) day of his life be more dyspep•
ti - e - tlian - the - Dc - y of A I; , iers.
May ho never again be permitted to seer
the face of fair imman,. be bored to death
by bording school II practicing their
first lessons of music with-MR the privilege
, ceing his tormentors.
Al he on. potting on a tight boot, find 'a
livc hornet iu the- kottorn.
May he be rode on a rail, after getting
his hoot me, with the sharp edge up, with a..
bushel. bag of sand tied to each. leg by a
torch light procession, and hissed at by all
May a troop or Prinmr's Devils, lean, lank,
and hungry, dug his keels day by day, and
may ale fainitte—stricke_n !ollost of an editor's -
baby haunt his evening lullaby, and hiss,
Murder in laic dreaming ear:
A SHELL. CO
nut West, tells it yarn about a "shell
bark lawyer." Ills client was up on two
small "Priv°Jou, charges," as shell
bark designated them (forgeing a note of
hand and stealing a borso.).
On running his eye over the jury he didn't
like their loolia, so he prepared an affidavit
for continua:lee, setting forth the absence in
Alabama Ma principal witness. Ile read it
in a wiaper to the prisoulr, who, shaking his
head, said :
•'Squire, I "f-an't mwrar '.o-that dokymint."
"NV by ?"
"Kage it 'mint true."
-• inf:utri4le - cl and explock lour! 'e
nough. to be heard th to !I ;61 on t the room.
"What, forge a note, an' steal a boss,
can't swear to a lie! 3dang such infernal ,
fouls !"
And lie immediately Jert the conseientiou
one to his late.
ill our army at the We 4, One of the ()fib.
CON, whose duty it was to:furnish the guards
with a password for the night. gave the word
"Potomac." A German on guard, not un.
derstanding distinctly thedifferenee between+
the B's and P's, understood it to be "Bat°.
mie ;" and this, 'oh being transferred to an.
other, was corrupted to "Buttermilk." Soon,
afterward the, officer who had given the word
wished to rcturn through the lines, and ap
proaching a sentinel, was ordered. to halt,
and the word dewauded. Ile gam "Poto
mac."
"Nicht right; you dorA pass mit me (Es
way."
"But this is the word, and I will pass."
"No, you Stan;" at the same time riming
bayonet at his broagt ill: a manner that told
Mr. Officer that -.Potomac" didn't pass ins
Missouri,
What is the thor??"
"Buttermilk."
"Well. then. 'Buttermilk.'"
"Pat is ri hf ; now you pass mit yourself
all about yuur pizucss.'
311L1 TA AT - . 1 4 .`i Er EsSIT Trniversalist
clergyman, who has for years felt and ex
pressed utter ablintrance el' the doctrine of
future punishment, accepted A chaplaincy in ,
a Western regiment, ;111(1 served through an
ardllOtni eviipaign in the army of the Cam..
berland. A few days sinee, being home on
sick !cave, he was called upon to address a
town meeting. In the course of his remarks,
he touched upon" the Atrocious barbarities of
the rebels.
"My friends," said he, "I have alwa,ys,
preached to you against such institutions as
hell or future puniAniciit. hilt my experi
ence within- the few last motstlis has modift.
ed my opinions somewhat; I believe there
is a hell provided Tor those wicked devils, as
a military necessity."
A jury down South ignored a bill against
a huge negro for stealing chickens, and be
fore discharging him from custody the judge
bade him stand reprituanded, and concluded
thus:
•lou may go now, but shaking Lis finger
at him, let • me warn you never to approach
here again.'
Jobu, with del4;lit lin:lining lolls eye, and
a broad grin: displaying beautiful rpw of
lerth..replied :
.1 wouldn't bin liar (lit time - , judge, but
de eomttable foteh mc.'
An Irishman, who wag recently sentenced
to She !louse of Corrc4_7tinn at South Boston
for a year, was art to work in the blacksmith
shop. 11c found the labor very bard, though,
.Uid implored Captain Robbins,to change his
employment, saying,, Captain, if L
have to work this hard for a year I shall die
in less than ;► fortnight" •
eltt.“
Did feu hear that all the Mies left the
American dinner table, M•day ?
• Vo: ‘Vhat's the matter?
IVhy, they were done citing.
"Papa"said Mr. Brown's youngest AVM
MMI;iM
, 107 0 , ivy pet," affectionately replied 31r.
8.. “if you are a gonri boy I will take. you
to see your grandmother's. grare this after
.
moon."
The children are said tri be so dirty► in 4,
place oo Cape. , Clod. that. the llother frecteat.
1 7 goes
,jupo. the s,treet, and woh,es the aces
of half a dozen childro'n before she
.fintls.bc . lr
own. , - :
r;c11 stealth is• an 1.1;Iy
beggar.:
~ •
NUMBER 38.
UniM