333 r W.% 333. air• votrmE rC)3IIIIO.ICPBMs. (1000 HIGHT. .t,ert ) Goo&night is but a little word, Yet beautiful, though brief, And falls upon the gentle heart Like dew upon the leaf— , Love's farewell r i oter of tenderness Upon affection's chord ,• The clasp that knits thy daily chain Of kindly Ikeda and words— A veidant ofive-branch of peace Under our pillow pressed, bb Oding its graceful fragrance 'round Before we sink to rest— A kindly wiihlhat each may dwell In undisturbed re pose, Until the morn her robe of light . Round every sleeper throws. Then scorn not t hdd this Ili& word Of peace and amity ; It is a link in Love's bright chain, How small soe' er it be. - Tllll Where shall we lay our comrade down ? Where shall the brave one sleep ? 'the battle's past the victory won, Now.we have time to weep ! Bury him on the mountain's brow, Where he foughtieo well ; Bury him where the laurels grow—. There he bravely tell ! - ''There lay him. in his generous WM. For there first comes tho light When morning earliest breaks the cloud, And lingers last at night ! What though no flow'ret there may bloom To scent the chilly air, The sky ahall•etoop to wrap his tomb, The stars will watch him there, What though no stone may mark his grave Yet tame shall tell his race Where sleeps the one so hind so brave ) And Ciod.*ill And the place ! Bury hint on the mountain's brovro Whore he fought so well ; ' Bury him where the laurels glow-. ' There he bravely fell! 2%SifieC33EUIALBAL7.iii,r. Swearing Alone. A gentleman once heard a laboring man swearing dreadfully in the presence of mt . panions. fie told him that it was a coward ly thing to swear in company with others, when - he dared not do- it by himself. The man said he was not afraid to swear 'at' any time or in any place. "I'll give you ten dollars," said the on • IJertt:„. I you will go to the Village grave• ysrii' , e ye o'clock .to-night, and swear ", t. s you have uttered here, when ,yo one iith God." ,red," said the man, "it's an easy way of earning ten dollars." "Well, you come here tomorrow and say Sou have done it, and the money is years. The time. panted on; midnight came. The man went to the graveyard. 'lt was a night of pitchy darkness. As he entered the grave lard not a sound was heard; all was still as death. Then the gentlemans Words, "Alone with God," came over him with wonderful power. The thought of the Colcedness of what be had been doing and what he had veme there to do, darted across his mind like n, flash of lightning. Ho trembled at his fol ly. Afraid to take another step, he fell up on his knees, and instead of the dreadful - oaths he 'cams to utter, the earnest cry Went up--" God be merciful to me a sinner. " ' The next day he went to the gentleman end thanked him for what he had done, and said he had resolved not to .swear anothei oath as long as he lived. MAGNITUDE OF RUSSIA.-11USSilt Is the greatest unbroken empire, for extent, that ever existed , oconpying vast regions of Eu rope and Asia, and a early one sixth of the - habitable globe It is fotty-one times the size of France, and one hundred and thirty eight times that of England. Yet it was too small for the ambition of Alexander,,ho is repotted to have mirk "I insist upon hav ing the Baltic to skate upon, the Caspian fat a,bathing place, the Black sea as a wash hand basin, and the North Pacific Ocean as e. fish pond." He cricroached on notary for a pasture, on Persia and Georgia for a vineyard, on Poland for a farm, on Finland and Lapland as a hunting-ground, and part of North America as_a place of banishment for offenders. Yet with all his ambition end tea greatness of character, both he and his successor have retired ,from the stage of time without-vitalising their hopes of univer eal empire. The possession of India is now his fondest hope; bat England in actual pos nession is aa Insuperable barrier. THE DRUM of A Virus.-• The death of en old man's wife is like tutting down an ancient oak that hasiong shaded the family mansion. Eleneefarth the glare of the world, with its tares and Vicissitudes, fall Upon the "old widower'e _heart, and there is nothing to break their _force, or shie3 him from the fall weight of misfortune. It is as g :if the right haled werewithered, as if one 'ing of an anvil were Awoken, and every tuovetuont dud le.snadebrought hies to the around. Ilia eyes Re dimund ,gloney, and when the file of death over them, he wises !bona ncoustonved ',tones which have aciocithed his passage to the grave. - WtDOWB REvoramops.--Ont of Shoat the thousand iridows of , the Revoln tion,,pensioued by the Spit set of Cimgrcoo, only thirty live survive.. Fourteen of them tare over Doe ihundredyears old. The .yeang 'tuft is liisstptw* years of cage; .the one Ititadred and thirty-Owl:eyes'', te-14V;:i „;, • • . '• • : • • • le, '"i ir !tin , • • _ 111_ .•. _ I 3 . • „o• ,„ • •. •: • • ikA4 (41.- gow to Procure a Huiband-. . The following true story might,; perhaps, furnish matter for a little comedy, if come dies were still written in England. It is generally . the ease that the more beautiful and the richer a young female is, the more difficult are both her parents and herself in ,the choice of a husband,; and the more off.! ere they refuse. The one is too tall, the oth er too short, this not. wealthy, that not re spectable enough. Meanwhile one spring passes after another; and year after year I. ,carries away leaf after leaf i „Ot the bloom of youth, and opportunity after opportunity. Miss Harriet Selwood was the richest heiress in her native town; but she had already completed her twenty-seventh year, and be held almost all her young friends united to men whom she had at - one time or other dis carded. Harriet began to be set down for an old maid. Her parents became really uneasy, and she herself lamented in private a position which is not a natural one, and to which those to 'whom, nature and fortune have been nigg araly of their 'gifts are oblig ed to submit !but Harriet, as we have said, was both handsome and rich Such was the state of things when her uncle, a wealthy merchant in the north of England, came on a Visit to her parents. He was a jovial lively, straight forward man, aceusionied to attack all difficulties boldly and coolly. "You see," said her father to him Lone day 'Harriet continues single. The girl is hand some, what she is to have for her fortune you know ; even in this scandal loving town, not a creature can breathe the slightest im- - putation against her; and yet she is getting to be an old maid." "True," replied "the uncle; "but look you, brother, the grand point in every affair io this World is to Seize the right moment; this you have not done—it is a misfortune but let the girl go along with me, and before the end of three months I will return her to you a wife of a man as young and wealthy as herself." Away went the niece with the uncle. On the way home, he thus addressed }her: "Mind what lam going to say. -You are no longer Miss Selwoocl, but Mrs.. Lumley, my niece, a young, wealthy, childless widow You had the misfortune to lose your hus band, Colonel Lumley, after a happy union of a quarter of a year, by a fall from his horse while hunting. "But, uncle-.-- "Let one anarrage, if you pleaso„-MrskLum ley. Here look you, is the weddin ring given you by your late husband. Jewels. and whatever else you need, your aura will supply you with ; and accustom yourself to east down your eyes." The been-witted uncle introduced-his niece everywhere, and the young widow ex cited a g reat sensation. The young gentlemen thronged about her, and she soon had her ohoice out of twenty suitors. Her uncle advised her to take the one who was deepest in love with her, and a rare chance &creed that this should be precisely the most amia ble and opulent. The match was soon con cluded, and one day the uncle desired to say a few words to his future nephew in pri vate. • "My dear sir," be began "we have told You an untruth." "Row so ? Are Mrs. Lumley's affec tions—' "Nothing of the kind. My niece is sin cerely attached to you."' "Then her fortune ) I suppose ) is not equal to what you have told me r "On' the contrary, it is larger." "Well ) what is the matter, then ?" "A joke, an innocent joke, which came into my head one day when I was in a good humor--we could not well recall it after ward. .my niece is not a widow." "What ! is Colonel Lumley living'?" "No ) no; she is ' a spinster. ' The lover protested that he was a happier fellow than he had conceived himself,; nal the old-maid was forthwith metamorphosed into a young wife. The 'Clergyman and the - Burglar. The world of fictien hardly contains a more thrilling chapter than an incident Which mar ked the •life of Rev. Mr. Lee, wha was re cently-cut down in his prime, while pastor of the i'resbyteriatt church in the village of Waterford, N. Y. The adventure, says the Troy Times, occured on the night before Thanksgiving, a few weeks previous to the commencement of the sudden illness; which resulted sadly and fatally. Mr. Lee was sitting in his study about one o'clock in the morning, preparing a discourse to be deliv ered to his congregation when assembled for Thanksgiving worship, when he , heard a noise behind hint, and became ooncions that somebody was in the room. Supposing that a neighbor had dropped in upon some un forseen errand, Mr. Lee said e "What is the matter ?" and turned around in his chair. Ho behold the grim face of a burglar, who was pointing a pistol at his breast.. Ttie ruffian bad entered the house by a side window; supposing that all the oc cupants were wrapped in blumber, and burst upon the presence . of Mr. Lee, herons he was aware that the study contained an occu ran t. "Give me your watch and money," said he, "and make no noise, or I will fire." Mr. Lee said : • "You may as well put down your weapon, for I shall make no resistance, and you are at liberty to take aU the valuables I pumas! The buseuir withdrew his menacing pis tol, and Mr. - Lee said : will eoaduct you to the place whore my most precious-tresseizas are placed." lie o pened a sloor, - ited pointing to the cot where his two children lay Annalsering in this sweet sleep of innocence and peace. "These," said be, "are lay ehoicestjeweb. ,you take them ?" lie proceeded V say that,es a minister of G the ape; he he'd feW earthly ' 101KSB:Pae, Fiatially IrTOWapaZOr i .14ir'eviatral tl. Pcilitions •,• c Mteugiciati.', WAYNESTIORCP, FitANKIN . COUNTY, PEkNSYLVANIA 2 :• . PRIDAT:tioRNIN 2 : .Afßil 242..633: and, that all his means were devoted to but one objeet—the education of the tWo chi!. dren that were reposing in the adjoining room. The burglar was deeply and visibly affected by these remarks. •Tears ,filled his eyes, and he expressed the utmost sorrow at the act which he had been about to Commit. After a few remarks from Mr. Lee, the would-be criminal consented to kneel and join with him iu-pmyer; and there in that lonely house,Umid the silence of midnight, the offender poured forth his r enitence and remorse, while the representative of a relig ion of peace and good-will told him t., "go and sin no more.' Such a scene has few parallels. On the conclusion of the prayer, the bur glar attempted to take his departure by the broken window through which he had en• , tut ed. "Why not go by the front door 7 said Mr. Lee The man replied : "There are confederates there who would shoot either you or me." He desired Mr. Lee to take an oath on the Holy Seri'tures, never to reveal the partic ulars of this singular interview Mr. Lee said it was unnecessary, as he had the kind est feelings toward him, and should never divulge aught he had seen or heard. The nest day. Mr. Lee, while walking% With his wife, met the man in the strati df ,Water ford, and on subsequent occagions, saw, him from tithe to time. One of the actors in .this singular episode fills an early grave; but by means that we are not at liberty to disclose, the event not die with him. What must be the feel ings of the other party to this mysterious meeting, whenever he reflects upon- the lonely parsona.e, and the memorable scene that it witnessed on the night before Thanks giving, 1862 COPPERHEADS AND FUTURE HISTORY. When this rebellion shall have been sup pressed—and it cannot last long at longest — every actor in it will receive honor or dis honor.. Every American, -high or low, is an actor in it. He can't escape it H' he w3uld for neutrality is in itself defection and dis loyalty. It will be known and remembe red how every man bore himself in this crisis of the nation's life—every man from ocean to cceau. With men in general it will not be written on the page of history; but it will be written on a tablet yet more distinct, the living memory. Ten, twenty, thirty, fifty years hence it will be inquired about, and it will be known how every American who was on the stage in the Great Rebellion then ac ted,_whether he-took sides for_oragainst the Government; and every man, woman and child in the country will understand it. The honor and dishonor of it will cleave not on ly to the individual himself, but'to his chil dren. There are those living who remember the odium which, after the Revolution, clung to every Tory to his latest breath. No intel lectual accomplishment, nor any moral worth aould exempt theni from it. But more than that, it was transmitted to his children and his children's children. Even to this day the American whose ancestor at that time was known as a Tory, hears, of it with burn ing shame. Similar contempt was entailed upon the blue-light Federalists of the last war. So far as regards the private charac ter of its members, the Hartford Convention of 1814 was probably equal to any political assembly ever held in this country; but of -ter the war closed every man of them to his dying day was held in dishonor. He could no more obtain a public office than if he had been positively disqualified by law. The ban of public opinion was upon , him. Though it was very olearly shown in subsequent years-that,the majority of the Convention had no such treasonable intentions as impu ted to it, yet it is enough that it was a peace assemblage calculated to embarrass the Gov ernment. To this day the Hartford Conven tion is a byword and reproach. There. were Federalists Who did not approve of 'the Can-, vention, and yet even they do not fully es cape. It is still everywhere a reproach to have been at that time as opponent -of the Administration at all. What bath been will be—only in greater measure. The revolutionary Tory at least had the apology of, retaining his original loyalty.. The peace Federalists of the last war acted against the Government only in its external relations, and the peace they sought involved no vital injury to the nation itself. But the copperhead of the present day proves 'else to all loyalty, and is ree e ant in a sense, which the Tory was not. He is traitorous, too, in a sense in which the last war Federalists was not; for his peace policy inevitably carries with it the disrup tion and destruction of the Repdblie, while the other peace policy would not have affec ted the unity and perpetuity of the Repub.. lie at all. There has been in American his tory no public treachery so unqualified, and so utterly incapable of extenuation, as that of the Copperhead of '63 ; and which was followed with such a terrible reckoning as will be hereafter exacted for this. So far as regards 'the judgment of the next generation, a man of' the present day had better commit almost any crime in the calendar, than be guilty of furthering 'the ends of the rebellion by advocating peace, or in any other manner. fie might better leave his children without a dollar than en tail upon them the scandal of a .father who turned against his country in the day' f her extremity. A quaint old gesatlensatr, speaking of direr. out allotments or :ilea by which awns become useful chigoes and s others worthless vagrants, by way of illustration, • retearked : "So ma slab of marble bepoints a usoltil doorstep another ledoms a lying tombstone. ' loti witio tvr peaze;.propit:e fair way. Execution of trederick Snit The Hagerstown Herald gives the flOIN• kg account of the execution of Frederick Smith at that place on Friday last, which was witnessed by about 10,000 persons : "There was nothing very remarkable in the last hours 'of the dootned man. On Thursday night he slept some four or five hours and on Friday morning he arose and eat a hearty breakfast but noterithstanding these evidences of seeming indifference to his itite, he was intensely agitated, and wept as if the very fountains of his heart had been broken up. He was visited during the morning , by the Rev. Mr Evans,, 'the Rev. Mr. Wagoner, the Rev. Mi. Stitt, the Rev. Mr. Markwoed, the Rev. Mr, Hyde, and the Rev. Mr. Vinton. These gentleman sang and prayed with him, and gave him such spiritual advice as one in his situation re quired. Between 11 an 12 o'clock he a gain partook of food, andllt 20 'minutes of 1 'o'clock, having been previously arrayed is a suit of black clothes„,and otherwise prepared for the last terrible scene in his life,, ho was led from his cell by the Sheriff and his Dep uties to one of three carriages drawn up in front of the Jail. Seated in this with the officers of the law, the other two carriages being occupied by the Clergy and Medical Examiners, and accompanied by the moun ted Guard, he was taken to the place of exe cution. Ae the iolemn procession moved onward he buried his face in his handker chief, and exhibited intense agony, tremb ling, weeping and sobbing Incessantly.. Be raised his head but once or twice on the way to look upon what was to him the last of earth, and made but a single remark, and that was an appeal to the Sneriff to lose no time. In a very short space of time the vehicles reached the gallows. Smith immediately a lighted, and accompanied by the Sheriff the Deputies atd the Clergy ascended the- scaf fold, where no time was lost in executing the stern mandate of the law. He took an affectionate leave of the Clergy by shakiiig hands anti kissing each one of them, and in like manner bade adieu to the Sheriff and his Deputies, after which Rev. Mr. Stitt made a brief but very appropriate and beau titul prayer. The Sheriff then adjusted the rope, led the doomed - man upon the fatal trap, who continued deeply moved, weeping and shaking like an aspen leaf. In an in stant the rope was attached to the beam a bove, the cap drawn and the Sheriff on his way doWn the steps. As he decended he touched with the heel of his boot a lever or tteaddle, which caused the trap' to fall, and at precisely 10 minutes past 1 o'clock the unfortunate man was launched into eternity. _Alter„hanging - 10 minutes the pulse entire ly ceased, and atter being up thirty minutes he was pronounced dead by the Physicians present, and taken down and put in a neat "coffin. Smith was about 81 years of age; was ex cedingly illiterate, and wholly destitute of moral and religious training. An English Officer's Adventures. In one of 111 r. Weed's letters from Europe to the-Mir - slay Evening Journ / the follow ing anecdotesnre told : • "Sir John Wilson, a'veteran curd to whom I was introduced said that he receiv ed 7 wounds (then Captain Wilson) on the Niairra frontier, in 1814, and was brought wounded, with Gen. Scott, to Albany, where he remained several weeks, and was then ta ken to Pittsfield. He spoke-randy of Gen. Scott's gallantry and generosity. He also remembers, gratefully, the kind attentions of his American surgeon, (Dr. Tho inns of Poughkeepsie,) who entered the army about the time Gen. Scott was appointed a Cap tain. "Sir John related several incidents that occurred on his way to Albany. A low miles 'west of Canandaigua, at a tavern, he was annoyed by - a Yankee, who came into his room, sat down and asked all kinds of questions, many 'of them in bad taste if not impertinent. Before leaving-Captain 'Wil son asked for Porter, but it ,could not be ob tained- Some hours afterwards, its th e wounded officer was journeying eastward, ho was overtaken by the Yankee, 'who said, 4 ' Well, Capting, I 'spose you did not expe©t to see me aging" -The officer replied ..that he had neither expected nor desired to see him again." "Well," responded the Yankee, "never mind that. I heard you say you wanted porter, and I bon4Ot you some. then producing a bottle and tumbler, poured it out and handed it to the Captatn, who drank it, was refreshed, and offered, with thanks, payment. "I don't want no pay for that nor these six bottles. What wo Amer cans want is to whip the British, add treat them well afterwards, ,tqwially if they are wounded.' "This incident, said .Sir,John, with the luess of ail classes .t k o im, led him to cherish pleasant recollections of America, and to pray devoutly that the horrors of another war between kindred, who ought to be friends, may be alerted." Tun END OF TRit WORLD.—The date of the end of the world is satisfactorily fixed l'er the year 188 G. There is an ancient preci diction ropeatod,by'Nostradamus in his "Cen turies," which says that when St, George shall crucify thi Lord. when St. Mark shall raise him, and St. John shall assist at his the end of the world shall eome. In the year 1888 it will' happen that Good Friday falls on St. George's day, Easter Sunday on Bt. Mark's'day, and Holy . Thurs day, or issensioti day, will be also the feast et' St. Jolla thO - Bsigist.—N. Y. Pose. Orr Mmutiuu.--,With & wife the lawyor is wore trusty, the doctor wore respected and useful, the mechanic more ludastrious, and the tuerchaut gets better ered;t 0111404, a, alas •tidwit r+•Fn it ho num # atL.. ' ; REior NEVRALGIA - .-z-'2O des dread ful dime* ie becoming more prevalent thy, formerly, and as the, doators have not , disl covered any,method or medicine that 'Will perthanently cure it, We simply State tifit 'or some time poet a Member of our family hai suffered moat intensely front it, and' could find no relief from-any remedy applied,, un til ire saw an article which iecommetided the application of bruised horse-radish to the face, for toothache. As neuralgiti and tooth ache ere both !mitres diseases, we thought the remedy for the one would be 'likely to curethe other, so we made the application of horse-radish, bruised and applied to the side of the body where the disease was seated it gave instant relief to the severe attack of neuralgia. Since then we have applied it several times, and with the cams gratifying results. The'remddy is simple; cheap, and may be had within reach of every one.— Laurensville Herald. JUST Luck ROSECitANs,—Nr. J. W. has handed us a letter. from his br3ther, a chap lain in the army of the Cumberland ; who gave this interesting anecdote of Gen. Rose crane : Oa Wednesday, while we were Motioned as guard to the Lord, Oen. Romer:lns,. came Up to Col. Price,. commanding the brigade, and said : 'You're Col. Price, commtnding the sec ond brigade, are you ?' 'Yes, sir! -'Well, Colonel, Will you hold this ford ?' 'Well, General, I will if I can: 'That won't do, sir,' said Roseerans, 'Will you hold this ford ?' 'l'll die in the attempt,' respOndei the cau tious Colonel. 'That won't do, air. Will yon hold this ford?' Rill' said the Colonel, firmly, and Gen. _Roseorans_rode oft without another word, tad eft the Colonel to fulfil his promise, NOT VET.—"Not yet," said a little boy, as he was busy with his trap and ball.— "When-I grow older ) I will think about my soul." The little boy grew to be a young man. "Not yet," said the young man. "I am now about to enter into trade. When I see my business prosper, then I shall have more time than now." Business did prosper. "Not yet," said the tuaa of business. "My children must have my care. When they are settled in life I shall better be able to at tend to religion" Re lived to be a gray-headed old man. "Not yet," still he cried. "I shall soon retire from trade, and then I shall have noth ing else to do but to read and pray." And so lie died. He put off to another time what he should have done when a. child. fie lived without God, and died without hope. THE UNION SENTIMENT IN MISSOURI.- A letter from Palmyra, Mo., to the Boston Journal, says the prospecti of that State are most promising: "The rebel sympathisers are fas't selling out, and leaving Their places to be filled by good and loyal men. The U nion sentiment in Missouri is intensely loyal; it recognizeebnt two' parties i the one for the Union, the other against it.. So we think and act. We are getting ,Mora loyal every day. We understand the awfulVesponsibilt ty resting on the President, and we will stand by him through this fiery ordeal, and with him conquer or perish. Such are the senti ments expressed in the current thought, and in the public meetings which gather to con sider the posture of affairs and the freseot crisis. We fear nothing for Missouri." MAKING 11,001K.1t was Henry Clay, we think, who, after he had finished his studies, went to a certain town with letters of recom mendation to an influential member of, the bar, and sought his advice and influence in establishing himself in his profession. The encouragement he received was something. like" this: "I would be very glad to render you any assistance in my power, Mr. Clay, but really there is no Toom in this place for another lawyer!' Mr. Clay, (if ho was the individual, for it is a long time since we heard the story), nothing daunted, straight ened himself and, with the reply, "Then sir, liut'ud to make room," left the house.— The sequel need not be told. A TEST OrREF/NEMENT.—The Vermont Patciot' tells a story of an 'old usurer, who went once to visit a former borrower, who had since fortunately risen from poverty to independence. They went into the - garden. Passing along a walk flanked on either side with flowers of great beauty and variety; the visitor made no remark until ho came to the potato patch, when he exclaimed,,',%s friend you'll•have a fine crop of potatoas there, !" "That's just like . you,' said the. proprietor "when gentlemen and ladies, [ass throne: - my garden, they look at the, flowers, but when a hog comes in, all he coil sec is pots ! . toes. • • The Ohio Legislature has adopted a Sound platform for the tinion party, in the follow. ing, which was offered by Mr. FkA,•a:Union Dewar*. as a response to some . petitldas, For an irmistiee'and 'peace : ' ' • "Rezateed,- by the General Asseathltioj ihe State a/ oAio,Tbat we will 'hrilve:te: disso lution of the Union; that -we ,will~. have 09 armistice; that we can fight as long as ltstrt eta and Traitors can; . that the -war shall go on until law is restOred,And we never despair of the , • • • .131POSTANTNOiSION8:L—The , Wisconsin, Supreme Coumion'Oe 25th tendered a decision pronouncing, the, drat).- deolaring:tilible . 1211'111:2 vote; and Affinaiug '•the eoastitutioaldity 0 the,iioldiees suffragelavi,. Alt the judats ctincuried - in tise-ueeisioa'e zattatorstiortmo. t take', fopi krinotti3Oakas a tecip yep; --A bad Min. when he is Oahe, is ie. the company of Undo. When is an os an us. When is turned jab a meadow What is that which divtdei by . unitiv e ; and unites by divididg P Ana.--A pair of seiasoh. At what age are ri•aye. When is a soldier not halt 'a soldier ? When he's in quarters t What does a .liar do after he is dead ? Aus.—He lies still. , An eminent physician has disco*iered that nightmare is produced in .nine cases. out of ten, by,owing a bill for a newspaper. , "Where is the east 7" 'inquired a tutor, one day, of a vsry Mat! papa - . “Whera tho morning comes from/' was the . prombt -and leis:lnt answer.. . A, contraband being iseorted to the for tifications yesterday 'by a soldier, be 'ins met byanother "gemman ob coloti." "Hollew, ike, whar ye swine with dist gard "I'se gwiae to reinforce the army." "Is dat so ?" "Yes; I'm *givine to de mOrtifications to dig trenehes."--Louiseitle .Democrat. "tailuir," Raid ittie Teddy , "hoW can the sea run when it is all TIDE ? "It don't ran, my child," replied the fa ther; "it BETE "flow can it set if it has no bottom ?" • - Teddy - wasled - out-of-doore-by-tnehair—crf his head. . "John; come up with your lesson. What does g-,1-a-s-s spell ?" "Well, I knew once—but • denied if I , don't forget now." - "Pshaw I what's in your mother's , window sashes Y' "There's so Many things, that darn me if I eau remember 'em all. Let me fiee— there's a boss blanket id one place, biother Job's white bat in another, and ad's old trowsers in the smash that Zeb and I made yesterday." "That'll do, Joany ; you may go and play a little." • Tire following rich scene is said to have !Lately occurred in one of our courts of jus tice between - the judge and a Duch witness ell the way From Rottordain! Judge—What's your ;Wive language?" "1 pa no native, be a Dootehman. 'What is your mother' tongue?" "0, fatidat say she pe all tongue." "What language did you first learn? What language did you speak in the cradle ?" I not shpeak no language is te - Otedle at all; I only' cried in Dootch. The head of a pure old man, like a moun tain top, whitens as it gets dearer heaven. I want to take ethereal flights Above this world of ours, And bask beneath the sunshine bright celestial bowers. A porr offered the following evidence of rue love to his sweetrheart:— . While traveling in Western Virginia hap. peeing one day to be in. a small dry goods store, situated in a small village, an old lady from the country came in: ,She purchased several articles of the clerk, and at length observed a neatly painted and varnished bel lows hanging by a post, she • enqkfired what it was. The clerk perceiving tbat•:tho.lold lady was rather ignorant, and being sotne what of a wag, informed hor that it was a new fashioned fan-which he had lately re. ceived 4om the East, at the same time ta. king the bellows down and puffing with in his face, told her that was the mode of ,ope ration,, The old lady repeated the opera tion on herself, and - was so delighted with the now fan, that she purchased it forth- with and departed. - On the next day our informant, the-min. later had an appointment to preach at a, schoolhouse. in the neighboring'' country. The congregationleingasseinb:ed, while the minister was in. the act of reading the hymn, who should pop in hut the old woman with her new fashioned fan ;‘' and having taken her seat, immediately commenced puffing away in good earnest. The congregation knew not what tj Xake.of it somesmiled, ,and some, looked, astonished, but the ludi ()ions prevailed over eyerythineelie ' and to such as eating, that the minister himself was obliged to'stopreeding, and to hand the book to his brother in , the-deek.t• Afrer - th c , usual prelimbuiry services, lams. ;afro:tea bat,tnere ea 6 oonspionowly the oldledy with • the bellowe in 'front,' a hand bold. of each bandlo,`thriliositiirnediip towardiftea farm and with much self-complacency puffing the gentle breeseintir her face. What to do Or how' to proteed lie kneirwit;! for. he - cou'd pot vane bit-lois prof thocuogragation. arith. out meeting : Witham old ladt. ;, A,,t length atimuloning reseitatien,aud.tryiug to feel the :imposed on him, he Hi? teethed MS 'ilinatirge, but. irdreilffort -than 4 isey, , Wort or MIME 11111.60 Foie 'rear. WHAT sue WANTS. And whaii - ntranurse - oflife - 14 - tione, And death's hands on me laid,. • I went tti lay, me down and die- But not a sour old maid. love von u the golden touch Thst brightens up the mora— -1 love you (this iirsaying much.) As I love my morning horn lER 3 py ? Mar.