Village record. (Waynesboro', Pa.) 1863-1871, November 21, 1862, Image 1

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    Esp. var. sittedr.
There Is no heart but bath its inner languish,
There is no eye but loth with teats been wet.
There is no aoice but bath been heard to languish
O'er hours of darkness it can neer forget.
There is no cheiki.however bright its roses,
But wished hub beneath its hues are hid;
No Ili thit in its dewy light reposes,
But broken star beanie tremble , 'math its lid.
There is no tip, bowe'er with laughter ringing,
However'light and gay its words may be;
But It bath trembled at some dark upepringing
Of stern affection and deep Minty.
We are all brothers in this land of dreaming.
Yet hand meets hand, andeye to eye replies;
Nor deem we that, beneath a brow all Naming,'
The flower of life in broken beauty lies.
Oh! blessed light that gilds our night of sorrow,
Oh ! balm of Gilead, for our healing found;
We know that peace will come with the* to-mar,
And that afflictions spring not from the ground.
'Tis good when the rocks are calling,
When the yearis about to die,
When the painted leaves are falling,
And the streams run moaning by,
To muse on those who started
With us on the race °Mile,
But who shook ou hands and parted,
Worn out with e cold world's strife.
They drooped by the wayside weary,
And gazed with looks forlorn,
As the day grew' dark and dreary,
And the thoughtless crowd rushed on,
All heedless of their sorrow,
Like the oceans restless tide;
But when dawns life's glorious morrow,
They'll stand by. their Maker's aide.
Thus muse I; long and often, -
As the year draws near the end;
And my eyes with teardrops soften,
As 1 think on many a friend.,
Wearied with life's rough journey,
Sunk by the wayside worn;
And waiting with quiet patience,
For the dawn of the heavenly morn.
It is a cold, dark, dreary, morning in the
deptkof.winter; the keen north wind sweeps
onward, and, as the pedestrians feel its sting
they wrap their garments around them still
closer, to protect them from the elements.—
Though all is desolate without, yet to some
within are sources of pleasures, and such is
the case with old farmer Hardy, as he turns
from the cheerless scene, and gazes upon the
comforts of his own home. A large fire is
burning in the old chimney place, whose lights up the faces ,of the portraits
hanging upon the walls, and gives a glow to
the ancient furniture in the room.
Farmer Hardy is a man well to do in the
world: Providence has blessed his crops,
and his coffers are well filled with gold. and
yet his heart is closed to the appeals 'of the
poor. He is blessed with a lovely daughter
—his only child, in whom is centered the
whole of his affections.
She is indeed beautiful, and as sho sits
there in the old chamber, by the side of the
roarin,g fire, one might fancy she was an
"angel of light," wandering among the scenes
of earth. Her heart is always open to the
sufferings of the needy, and her hand always
ready to assist their wants; and there is not
one within range of the old farm house, but
speaks the praise of Amelia Hardy.
The old farmer is gazing upon her grate
ful form with feelings of delight, as she sits
by his side sewing, and, as he casts a mo
mentary-glance at the-frost clustered window
panes, be rubs his hands as -if exulting' in
his comforts, and bxclaims
"Tis batter cold, my child.'"
"Yes, indeed," replied the daughter, but
we feel it pot."
"No, thank God I He has given us an
the comforts of life."
"Father," said the girl, "how taisecable
must those be who have no home, no fire, no
The old man was about to reply perhaps,
to give vent to some word of mere commis
seration ; but at that time a shadow , passed
the window and a knock was shortly heard
at the door. The latter , being opened, a man
clothed in rags entered.
Misery was Aspired upon every feature of
his face, and poverty could be seen in every
flutter of his tattered garments. Want
showed its ghastly form in his dim and lus
treless eyes. Starvation audits train of hor
rors - were plainly perceptible in his feeble
steps, emaciated form, and trembling voice.
If there was one thing that farmer Hardy
detested above all others,.it has to'be annoy
edty applications for assistance it mattered
not -whether the supplicant was worthy Jr
Thu new comer shivered with theeold,
for his clothing was too thin to protect him
from the icy Wind,and he gazed upon the
foe with feelings of bitterness, for it recalled
lo him the destitution of his owe time. •He
'turned to the old fennel,- who sat leaning
back into a etuthioned Bair, and,la .tone
;of agony, thus entreated 'him, •
assist a poor min ? I am. out
.4,*ork, Bit.' I MO-not accustomed. to beg,
IntiiiiiakiMaasad -want have driven- me to
' • ' .
'terhate.untlkingloryow" saidthefarmi;
time stirring the blazing fire.
V& - ' • .' • •
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::.‘ l l4l-,lbudlrare starving: I. can't,
ltet:hfierircladlatitkort*liiif lie must die o f 1
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The heart Of Amelia-aaa moved'- to cola
ion at the poor mates voinplaint, she re
led the refUsal of her father. Rising,
Poor man, -I think father, I have Home
11 thhige whiehuaight be of service to
sin," and she was about to go in search of
them when the old man exclaimed.
"Silence, girl I Be off, yen vagabond !
I never encourage beggars."
"I am no beggar, sir," said the shivering
Visitor. "I am not able to get work now,
but when spring seta in, I shall obtain it,
and until that tinie I must have aid or per
"Leave my house I begone.! begone I" was
the reply.
The pour man departed with sorrow in 'his
heart, to find a kinder soul than that of far
mer Hardy. ,
"Father said the daughter, after he had
gone, "we have plenty, and why not assist
the poor ? That man• is worthy of assistance
and we might have aided him and never
missed it.'
"I will have no beggars eneouraged at my
hoitse," was farmer llardy's rejoinder. "If
Jones is in want let him apply to the true
tees of the alms house." _
,A.melwthd not answer. Her thoughts
ere wandering to the desolate home of the
. Aer man, and her mind was engaged in for
ming plans for his relief.
Henry Jones was ill-fitted far the trade of
a beggar and the pressing wants of his fam
ily alone urged them on. Leaving farmer
Hardy's he once more braved scorn and con
tempt; but all in vain. Weary and worn,
he at last bent his stops homeward. The
midnight tempest of despair was raging in
his soul, and as he thought of his starving
wife and children, tears of bitter agony cour
sed down his cheeks. -
Amelia Hardy, in the meantime was not
idle. The old farmer, after a momenta si
lence- lighted his pipe, and was soon envolved
in a cloud of smoke. ,While thus engaged,
his daughter stole softly from the room, to
put in practical operation her plans of relief.
She had recognized the man who had ap
plied to her father for assistance, and was
deeply hurt at his refusal. Calling the ser
vant, she loaded him with all the necessaries
of life. A basket was filled with bread and
meat, tea and sugar, together with some old
clothes, and thus, with this burden, they
proceeded on their journey. It was two
long miles before she reached her destina
tion, and the eohl was most bitter. But
what dared the noble girl ? She was on an
errand of mercy and the warmth of the fires
of charity which glowed within her heart;
spread its genial influence throughout her
At last she reached the cottage of Henry
Jones. But what a scene .)f misery met her
eye—greater even than she anticipated !
The walls were damp and bare, nothing but
a bed of straw, and a broken table, made up
the furniture, and little hungry faces peep
ing from every corner. As Amelia gazed
upon this scene of woe, she wept, and- min
gled her tears with those of the famished
But a light breaks upon the scene of dark
ness—the "silver lining" is discerned be
neath the black elo which solongh - a - ct
hovered over them, nd hope's bright rain
bow sp%nned the rk heavens. Like an an
gel of mercy Am is took the basket, and as
she raised the li , the children gathered a
round her, and miles lit up the mother's
face. Food w. given to the hungry, and
tea and sugar and ether luxurious to the in
valid. Soon a fire was kindled upon the
hearth and as its flames rose upward, they
reflected the beaming countenances of the
now happy group. Overwhelmed with
thanks, the kind messenger of help with
Long and anxiously Mrs Jones watched
for the return of her husbatid, to welcome
him back td the hing unknown luxuries of a
comfortable meal, and a warm fireside.—
Night came at :ast, and the absent one en
tered. There was a strong gleam in his eye.
and a wildness in his actions, but they saw
it not. As he entered he gazed around him
but he knew not what to make of the scene.
"How came this food and fire in, our
house?" he exclaimed.
"God sent one of his angels," was the re
ply., - •
"Who is it, that has done this ?" he ask
"Miss Hardy, the friend of the poor. All
you seehere we owe to her.",
There were rejoicings in that house of
poverty, and the prayers of ' two souls were
wafted to the throne of God, for her whose
noble heart scorned not the beggar, and
who saw in - the pale emaciated forms a per
soniftcation of God's own image. _
Would to God that in thit world of ours
were more of these angels earth, who fear
no contamination. or disgrace in alleviating
the stings of `poverty.
•Genesis, 46th chapter, 9th verse, we read:
"The angel of the Lord'said: Return to ,
thy mistress and submit to her bowl."
—Chicago. Times.
Ah, yes; Abraham, Elsopr's master, was
a loyal man, and believed in, the , "enforce.:
meat of tbl3 laws. The Book of Exodus,
-on the other hand„tells ns that Moses, the
scrvant of the Lord, abducted over 600,000
slaves from an obdurate and stiff necked old
rebel, named Pharaoh, atter he had polluted
him with. frogs, bit him with- vermin, . stung
him with flies; coveted him: with boils, and
pelted hiur with haillistcities; - and , *hen the.
the old secessionist tried to chase than the
oPened'thaßed Bea aii-told 'Oulu ta.
siteaddla.—.Nashodie Union: .
l e
1311.. Swett. says The tele bearer eel the
tale hears : shout banged ' pp both twat-.
er—the former - the tougli,' atul the at
37 4 attaily - Zirevatoroikpov t Zreu.tral Pc:lititmes
- Whei.e's loonomy.
We do, not see that -the war end war-taxa
tion have produced much economy in expo
., • tvui-hr-one--directioni-at—leati .
dies dress, if anything, a little .more extrava
gantly than they did before.. Bilks have al
most doubled in price. - - Pry goods generally
have advanced from tenalifty per evnt.—
But do ladies' dresses ihrbi in size propor
-tionately ? Not.nt all. They grow _more
voluminous. They expand. Crinoline spreads
out still more in its amplitude, and with that
spread comes more and more yards of mate
real for tobes---robes of all kinds, common
and exclusive. Is this economy ? For our
part, we think that the women of our coun
try exert a very great influence over the hab
its of the nation. In the Bluth, they almost
sustain the Rebellion by their influence, a
gainst the Union, over their husbands, broth
ers, lovers, and sons. In the North, the
patriotism of the fair sex might- do more than
it does in sustaining the cause of the Repub . -
lie. But setting-that view of the subject
aside, the ladies ought to set an example •of
economy in war-times; for their example ,
would do much to make economy universal ;
and unless economy become so it is painful
to think how many families will be utterly
ruined by the time our civil war is termina
Now is the time, if a proper economy ever
graced a people, for establishing such a sys
tem of retrenchment in private expenditure
as, amid the pressure of these war-times, may
be calculated to make a family's disburse
ments square with its receipts. And let us
remember that there are thousands of fami
lies that would thus retrench were it. not for
pride: They aro going down-hill, in a pecu
niary sense, very rapidly. They feel it ;
they know it. Retrenchment would rescue
them ; but Pride says, "No I" "What will
Mrs. So-and-so say Y" is the first exclamation.
But, if Mrs. So-and-so would retrench, so
would her treighbees; and Mrs. So-and so is
just as anxious to retrench, if others set the
example. Then give us the example, ladies
Do it on the score of patriotism. Declaim
against all kinds of private extravagance as a
national evil during a war which demands
of every loyal man every dollar he can afford
to bestow on his country. Denounce eigh
teen and twenty 'yard dresses as a waste of
means unjustifiable at such' a crisis, and call
on every woman to do her best by influence
and action to render economy popular and
prodigality otherwise. In this way the fair
sex could indeed serve the Union. Will they
do it ? We hope so•—N. Y. Mercury.
Touching Incident.
Who eau read the following without tears?,
We copy from , tbell-ess :-
several charitable ladies lately visited one
of our military hospitals. Every refresh
ment that could be furnished, they supplied..
Tee cream was handed round, and the poor
invalids eagerly partook of In one cor
ner of the room, however, the spoon and
saucer had not been touched. • On the bed,
by the little table-containing them, lily a
young boy, his features pale, his eyelids
drooping. .A lady gently tanning his fair
forehead, softly whispered, "The.poor little
fel wis aslee I we rousturit_disturh bint22-1
"No, ma'am, I'm not asleep,",he answered.
It, was a silvery voice,
full of sweetness, of
innocence and boyhood.
"Well, my little fellow," continued the
lady, as she nearer drew, "are you not fond
of ice cream ?"
"Very much so," he replied.
"Dido't you see me place this on your
little table ?" reaching for the plate of cream.
"Oh, yea." ho answered, tremulously, but
I shut icy eyes and cried to myselV
"Cried, my child 1 why. what made you
cry, my dear ?,' • 2
"Oh, madam ! if you will pull the quilt
down a little, you will see."
The lady did so and found that he had no
arms! Both of them he had lost in battle.
Poor little fellow 1 the sympathy of silence
and tears was all that could be bestowed up
on his wounded spirit. The remembrance
of his brother and sister, of father and moth
er, of childish frolicks and playmates lotted
of yore, was awakened to soothe the fancy
of the little sufferer, and to wreathe his young
brow with the still tender resignation to the
will of GA.
. Wao is OLD?—A wise man will never
rust out. As long as he can ru:ve, and
breathe, he will do something for himself;
his neighbor, or for posterity. Almost to
the last hour of his life WasKington was at
work. So were Franklin, and Young, and
Newton. The vigor of their lives never de
cayed. No rust marred - filch spirits. It is
a foolish idea to suppose that we must take
and lie down and die because we , are old.
Who is old? Not the man of energy ; not the
day-laborer in science, art, or benevolence;
but he only who suffers his energies to
waste away and the springs of life to beeonie
motionless; on whose hands the. hours, drag
heavily, to whom all' hings wear the garb
of gloom
dreams no true perception of the lapse of
time. The relation of space as, well as -of
time are also annihilated, -so that while al
moat an eternity is 'compressed into a mo
ment, infinite apace is traversed more swiftly
thin by real thoughts. A gentleman dreains
that he has enlisted,. joined-=his regiment,
deserted, was apprebended„ carried back,
tried, condeMisird, -to he shot., and, at last led
oat for execution. After all the usualirep-
Aratiens, a gnu was flreri t 'he' ntrokerWith'the
report, arid found that a noirie;.;* -- tlie• - • ads
jortung room had at. thesarue moment proi
daaed the dream anti awakened him.
'Seem'&thoughts - art,,bost ; -hula orair God
'fret tliotOt; tromeartas aeotiid
The , trout. hoses Ith life for e, srcwro -many
'Men lose theirs for lees,
Ye are not Fatherless,
. Tho' death bath bereft ye ;
Nor'yet are ye Friendless,
no' love ones hive left ye.
In this wilderness world,
'There's'a Beacon slight;
Per. those who are whirled,'
Through sorrow's darletight.
Theresa Father in heaven,
aver looking below,
On the specks which are driven,
frerthe Ocean of Woe.
There's Hope for the stricken,
For the good there is Love.
Though sorrows clotids thicken,
There is light up above.
Then pause notln sorrow,
Shed no tears for the past;
The sun of tomorrow,
Will cheer you at last.
The love which is given,
By the Father of all,
fs as true as the heavens,
Which never can fall:
One of CHIT readers in Ohio writes to the
Drawer to relate an incident that happened
Down East:
"A good old lady who lived in one of the
I rural districts of Maine, and who had never
seen much of town life, was prevailed upon
on one occasion to pay a visit to a relative
who lived in a distant inland tt;own• of some
importance. When Sunday came round
the lady aecompanief her friends to church,
where her simple notions were shocked 'at
the wonderful display of what she called
worldliness and pride.
The minister himself did not escape her
criticism. In the midst of the sermon, and
while the old lady was cogitating upon
things around her, a mischievous crow that
had been tamed and taught to speak, flew
in at one of the open windows, and' alight
ing upon the back of a seat in front of one
of the deacons, looked that functionary full
in the face, and exclaimed, in a clear, au
dible voice that sent a thrill of horror to
the heart of the old lady, 'Curse you! curse
you!' And before the deacon could .capture
the fugitive it flew to another prothinent
member of the church. The minister stop
ped, and the congregation became disturbed.
Every body was anxious to see the intruder
captured and expelled from the place, and
many were the , fruitless grabs made for the
crow's legs ; but he eluded them all, and
round and round he went, uttering
.his im
precations. At last he came across-our old
lady, and she too shared the crow's ominous
imprecations. The old lady rose up from
her seat preparitory to its eva'uation,
confronting her black adversary with flash
ine. eyes Ind uplifted fingers, exclaimed, in
a ;harp, shrill voice that startled the audi
ence, 'Oh ye needn't curse me, for I don't
belong to this congregation!' and left the
place in deep disgust."—Hurper's Maga
man, from the "vicinity of Mauch Chunk, was
before Alderman Beitler, on Saturday after
noon. His name is Henry Schneider. The
complainant was a young lady, named Mary
Trace. 'Miss Trace says that Mr. Schneider
indtioed her to leave the path of rectitude
*••• n one I
•m a one horse wagoo.. Miss Trace offered
to "make up" providing she could cease to
bet Trace and become a Schneider. .Mr.
Schneider eaid there was but one objection
to this—he had a wifo already. Mr. &Imel
da ultimately compromised matters with the
lady by handing over $l5O in cash, and an
order for $3O worth of groceries, to support
an infant one year old. The question now
is, if a small Trace costs $lBO, what woulu
it cost Mr. Schneider for a whole set of
Ilarness?—/Vorik American
A HAPPY WOMAN.—Is she not the very
sparkle and sunshine of life ? A woman who
is happy beoauso•she can't help it—whose
smiles even the coldest sprinkle of mis
fortune cannot dampen. Men make a terri
ble mistake when they marry for beauty, for
talents, or for style. The sweetest wives are
those who possess the magic secret of being
contented under any circumstances" Rich
or poor,-high or low, it makes no difference;
the bright little fouutain of joy bubbles up
just as musically in their hearts. Do they
live in a log cabin, the fire that leaps up on
its humble hearth becomes brighter than the
gilded chandeliers in. an. Alladin palace.—
Were the stioam of life so dark and unpro
pitious that the sunshine of'a happy face fall
ing on the turbid tide would not awaken an
answering gleam. Why, these joyous tem
pered people don't know. half the good they
thy seed numbers 41,828,300 grains to the
bushel, and if sown on an acre of ground, as'
recommended by some, would give about biz
and onf half to the square • inch. Would
not onehe better tbun six ? Clover, of me
dium size. what - we here cull Eastern clover,
numbers. about 17,400,900 to the bushel,
and gives about two andAbree-fourth to the
square inch on an acre. Rio Grande wheat,
fair and plump, numbers about 5.58,880
the bushel, and gives about twelve and three
fourths to- thesquare•foot., 113 e numbers
898,880, and: gives about, twenty ;And one
half to the foot. •
, ,
- The smalloAtaby is the. wo rld, perhaps,
is now at Barautn.'s blesetun to, be entered
in the baby show. Tholitdo fellow . is eight
inenths' old, 'and ureighs,one ..pound.atid sev
on ouneerone-.. ounce Jose-.than ho. weiglied
when he was,one raonthold.. .Thee, child is
*ell formed
quite healthy,-but ita hind.
and arm .up the elbow and ite.,,font and
leg up to the knee can be passed through a
man's finer. rieg. The, atbild,, le_ueoptupa
,nied by -ito father and mothat,, thair
daughter fa, fine looking-girt ;Of eight s pats.
Tho prize for. the smallest baby is 0,000.
Losses - drisie iond • . te TiraYers
..bad ones to thiiriurses.
The foilowhag, is the , form of-the oath id
ministered SW the questions pro sotinlied
ivni rm .ry ut ie orl
ea of coincientioas stlrupkes:
ed, on the p
Before me, COmtnissionor to Superintend
Drifting for said coudty,' —.personally ap
peared who being duly did
depose and say, that ho hid conscientious
scruples to bear arms, ;believes it unlawful
to do so , whether in,,, selttlefenee. Or cl . e
fence of country, or'otberwise howsoelieri
tbatthe scruples and belief above stated,
have not bean formed lightly but , carefully,
deliberately and conscientiously, and are now
declared and professed not fur the purpose
of etadiog tisemilitary service of his court
try,in the present-exigi3noy,. but because he
soleiranly and religiously Iwids and maintains
them, and in his conscience believes that it
is his bounden duty to' act in alwordance
with them on all occasions,und antler all cir
'Would you take• qp arms in defence• of
your own life or the lives of your wife and
children?' •
Answer, 'No.' • ,
'Would you stand by and. see your wife ,
and children murdered without taking up
arms to defend thew ?'
- Atiswer, 'Yes.' .
'Would you stand by and see your father
and mother murdered without taking up
arms to defend theta, if in so doing you
could prevent it ?'
Answer, 'Yes.' ' .
'Would you allow your property to be ta
ken from you.if you could prevent it, and if
in so doing you eould.prevent it without im
perilling your lifn and limb ?'
Answer, qes.' . •
A Ghost *Story.
A lady, the. wife of a wealthy Merchant,
died recently, aftt.i a protracted illness, and
on the evening of her decease, her husband,
desirous topass a solitary hour with the body,
sent the nurse (who was Watching beside the
corpse) out of the room. Before the expira
tion of an hour, the bell . by which the de
ceased had bren is the habit of summoning
the nurse, rang violently, and the woman,
fancying the unfortunate widower was taken
ill, hurried into the room.
,He dismissed her angrily, at the same time
protesting that he had not rung. Shatly
afterward the bell was rung a second time,
when the woman observed to one• of the, ser
vants that she should not attend to the sum
mons,-as the gentleman, might again repent
having summoned her, and, dismiss her un
"It cannot be my master who is ringing
now," replied the servant, "for I have this
moment left him in the drawing room,"
And when she was still speaking, the bel
of the chamber of death rang a third time,
and still more violently than before
The nurse was literally afraid to obey the
summons; nor was it till several of the tier
vabks agreed to accompany her, that she
could command sufficient courage. At length
they ventured to_apen_the door,ezpeoting-.
discover within sow terrible spectacle.
All, however, was perfectly tranquil; the
corpse extended upon the bed under the
Holland sheet, which was evidently undis
turbed. Such, however, was the agitation
of the poor nurse that nothing would induce
her to remain alone with the body; and one
of the house maids accordingly agreed to be
come her companion in the adjoining dres
sing, room.
They had not been there many minutes
When the• bell again "sounded ; nor could
there be any mistake oa the subject, for the
bell wire passing round the dressing room
was in' mote m, and the servants in the offi.•
ces could see the vibration of the bell. The
family butler accordingly determiued ,to
support the courage of-the terrified women,
by accompanying them back to the dressing
room, in which they we're, to sit with the ,
door open, so as to command a view of the
The precautions effectually unraveled the'
mystery. ' A string had been attached to the
bellpull, to enable the sick lady to summon
her attendants without changing her posi
tion. which, string, still unmoved; hung down
avow the. &er r aria a favorite kitten, that
was often admitted into the rem to amuse the
invalid, having entered the chamber unob'
served, was playing with the stringyand
coming entangled in pussy's feet had produ
ced tl e. panip, that had caused the hearts of
the maidens to tremble. , c:'
Bat for tge courage of the butler,ftnd for
this fortunate explanation, the family man
sion. would have been classed among , the list.
of haunted homes, and probably deserted,
until it became dismantled and llama.
To CURE THE CROUP.— h e foliowing is
recommended by an exchange': "47 piece of
fresh lard, as large as a butternut, -rubbed
up with sugar, is the same way, that butter
and sugar are prepared for the• drassing: of ,
puddingS, divided Into three parts r and given,
at intervals of 20'minntes, will ,'reliere •aoy
ease of °temp siltieh is not already '4l.lcitvect
to progress to the fatal „point." .
A.. ~
..• TEXT.. S'OR- L 1
_ 014 E, TRATTOEII'-.-Atid
Whotioeeier, witl
,notdb the law. ef thy
and of the • Kibg, let jtidgiustit s : ho
iiieeuted speedily upon film,:whether it
'unto.deativoa to :banishment; or. to. coma.'
'cation of goods-, or 1 - to imptisonmetit.i—fslit;
ltectti is too_gool nierget to,:be worn is war.
and aeieutifie men hirit de.eidedithat
Soldiers-dressed in red are his - twelve times
it" battle :mbar° dip* iw Ausiriiuk. gray are
bit oaly
• t • .
':"' ,tliat-swms thooca attire Keithid% bladdera
_oaanot,stand thg - itkr , !prii.4".'d .adverse for
.I.o",4earvirear ,
T/T,FOR TATi= , ‘lAli eld eettlere sinetuther
Mr. 0. - , Who' filterthe •ofrtee • itilloatteetitfr
at Crattego-4ltritig the adeneioritiotiee"
lauend.:Van Buren. :One-tuortting. atanah.,
man called at, the general delivery.
"Auy letter for Donets Driseell.?"'
A search• in the D but ensued, and, a latter
bearing the. desired inscription • was ,theta.
ett"oreign,"saidlir..ll;. "tsitentylottr cents
postage. to. pay."'
. " . 94 - re;.and I can't read ; will - yer lioi or
read it for me?" said 'Dennis.
The obliging postmuarer, after Dennis tad.
unsealid the letter, complied with the.recimiat
and reedit - from date to alguature.
• "Sure it's not for me," groaned Dennis,
walking off- without it - • •
lir. began fa think himself the victim
of a sell. There was no help, 'for it at- that
time, and there the matter rested. ,
Some „time. afterward Dennis again presen
ted himself at the general delivery and gave
his name. .
"Foreign," said Mr. H, "twenty-four cents
postage" Wil l .
yer honor read. it for. me•; swre, I
caul read;'•
The wide• awake postmaster had a reason - a.:
hle excuse ready for not complyitv taking
care, however not to give offence, and retain
ing the letter in his possession until Dennis
paid the poitage.
.As.soon as the Irishman handed over the
money, Mr. H. gave, him ther,same letter
that had been road on the former occasion.
The transaction was thus ..doseti. without det
riment to the revenue.
-*gins Was passing up the street' With to.
friend, wheuhe'observe% a dog that had been
killed lying in the gutter. Xtuggins paused;
gazed intently on the defunct ,animal, anti at
last said, 'There is. another shipwreck
"Shipwr ack ilhereis a . bark - that's*
lost forever." Ilia companion giovitel 'and
passed on. , •
'lt is; said' that in Denmark carriage hor
ses ere taught to step high by the sul;stitu
tion of magnifying glasses foi blinkers.--
Theymistake every pebble-for a boulder, and,
lift their legs accorchngly.. Who says so?,
The road ambition. travels-, is - too narrow'
for friendship, too crooked, for love, too rug
ged for bonesty, and
,too dark for science..
The man lackainoral courage' who treats,
when be should reueat.
A .Crookett Nose is bad, for • every - Mani
follows Ids nose.
• . . •
Put the strongest minded woman in a bon
not shop, audit will immediately turn 'her
head. •
The Southern Confederacy . has a good
stealer—Floyd—but we : have a tveniendoua
Hooker who eau take him without trouble. '
Thesiek man, who pays a fee to the Doe.-
tor, is often paying for a box-tieket.
There's no use in your taking . a isay man
to task. He won't perform it if yew da.
If a wono4n does keep a secret, it is pret
ty sate to be with-telling' effect.
Whatever s made or done with the iwten
tion of answering two parposes, will as a
general rule, answer neither„of them well.
, .
MOst places of entertainment are suppor
ted simply because they gitilo. us something
to tilo and something to say.' •
If you make a thing perfectly ,plain and
simple to a Man, he will 4ive . you 'no credit
—he will think he knew it before.
'You a dentist, Bob? I did. not know
you were in that trade.' .
'Yes,' said gob. I follow no „Ober . ' busi
ness but setting teeth—in beef; potatoes and.
such. like:" ~,
A Cleveland' papolitays that the people of
that town arc using- 'mouse•traps ' old jack
knives and shirtAuttons for small ehan-ge..
Some ppoOle's heart are shrunk in them•
like nuteTyou ean'hear them rattle as they
walk: . .
To form an estimate of the beauty of a
lonnet„ put a. face in it.
When did "Emmons tuake , the rebelis
sneeze ? When they came to the Hatch•ee.
A young man who was' too modest to go
to bed by a 'pettieoit lamp,' has been caught
in the skirts of the city.
A Western Girl, after giving her lover a
hasty smack, exelaiuulti: "Dog my cats, if
you haVult taketr:a little- rye; old. boss," ',
None had been lo good, or so great, or•
have raised themselves so high as to be a
bowl. troublo. Out Lord was‘a man of sor
row."' •
• Death• is the only master Isla takes ,his
serval:lto without inquiring into, their
vious character.
By preparing. for the worst we- - Offetrz se—
ewe- the. best..
Why a man dead &unit liken pipee;. of
field artillery ready for action?';• Because he's
all. limbered up.
tuan with a scolding Wife, when inquir-
Odor respecting hits occupation, said he: kept.
i 1 hot-house.
"Lowell has ovor nineteen miles of girls.
ondwiss!".l. , ,
"Who's hen iuoastirin ' em 4and,wise,'
John nit his bee not knew 'which he.
Smelt - Mbar feel, the •treath. of spring of
the breath - of pretty girll .Ic * putter,