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f13.4m - r.
- wock3:awjEc,A.tia ,
The gay, glad ti'nok resieis;
The sutnnief Jaye haie come;
When with the daylight closes
The honey maker's hum;
The time when'amber sunsets'
"ght-the , -1 - Tectucitly_fielar
And when the purple clover;
Richest fragrance yield .
When the leafy tree liende
Weave a verdant roof,
With golden threads of sunshine
Running through the woof;
When twilight . , siiikd in darkness',
And flits the fire fly light;
When roses scent the zephyrs
That riannnur through the night,
IN 'hen sunlight hours are jewels
Strung on threads of time,
When weeks are stanza'd poems;
Versed in sweetest rhyme;
When the nivhts are =glad
In the Mite of Mr*,
And fa4ry feet dre denting
hapeivords in tune.
Roll slowly. Earth, that Siintin'er
!Any linger with us long,—
We'll level in her bounty
And bless her in our song.
Ye winds, 0 join our chorus
Of gratitude and praise
To Him whose mercy giveth
The soft sweet summer days!
iIiOUGETS OF at DEAR OLD DOME.
tre ! give me back my emily home, the home I loved
CI how it wrung my heart to NA my dear old home
:Tee me back the violets blue, the lily and the
to me the honeyscHe—give 'lid, oh ! glte me
'Oh give me back the happy hours I spent in child
As I gazed upon the lovely flowers from beneath
some shady tree,
And as 1 looked upon my friends around trio bright
I had no thought of sorrow theft—no, not a single
Home, friends and flowers, alas! have gone all
mouldering to decay,
And I am hurrying swiftly on and Wan shall pass
A friend of country and of God,
Brought forth to rule 'mid strife and blood ;
Runs high the overwheliniig wave!
Awful for sin the scourging day !
Hope yet hopes—the President may
A sinking country save.
,Heaven unaided can no salvation bring.
Lord God of Hobt, thine aid affind !
Imperil the vile mho' horde I
Nor let Thy rri. rcy cease ;
Come bleu the land, and loyal hosts—
On all the States,-through all our coasts,
Lot. fall a btAing peace.
No man unaided by Heaven can salvation bring.
As the first President of our glurious Union yens
nitprortntely denotninnted Father of his Country,
sos it is justly hMied, the present President may ba
devoutly named Saviourot his ciuuntt y. Hues.
Beautiful Letter of a She-Rebel.
The bdlowing polished and peppery letter
yas written by a Nashville girl, it is said, to
her "spicy, turtle dove, etcetry," as Arteinus
d would say, who is a prisoner at Camp
Morton, Ind. It ought to be publi•hed in
the nest edition of the Complete Letter Wri
ter. She says:
John, I want you to write and tell me
about the fight and how many lincon devils
.you killed. I would like to have been there
and seen them lincoln devils keel over. It
would have done my soul good to have seen
them fit!' by thousands. 'As you are a pris
oner, and cannot have the pleasure of killing
lincoln hivelands, - .1. believe I Will take your
place, and I tell you *hat I will kill live
yankees, I will do more for them than Mor
gan has done for them. I tell you Morgan
taripo• up the burg for them; ; tae is doing
'the work m for them. John I wish I was a
man, I would come there.und I would soon
.get you out of that lincoln 'hole. I would
tar their hearts out, and then cook them
and make them eat them; but I will do all I
can foiyou, , and when they come in Shelby
I Will get some of their skalps and hang
them up in my room for you to look at. I
?will be Jeff. ,Davis till the tenisee river
freezes over, arid then be for him, and-scratch
on the ice—.
dnvit YMOS n Was hotsa w
'Lincoln rides a 'mule,
Jeff davis is a gentleman,
And Lincoln is a rule. '
T wish I could send litteoln deVila sonic
*pies, they would newer want any more to eat
lin this world. May ;Weyer be with you.
'This is from a good southern -rights girl— ,
trout your cousin.
Trtunr- r Every vtord of it Cut it out
bud learn it by heart: -
"We should make it a pritleiple to ditend
the hand of fellowship to every man who
'discharges faithfully his duties, and main
tains good order—who manifests :a deep
interest in the welfare - of general society--
whose depotttaent is upright, .alir whose
- mind is intelligent—without stopping to
-ascertain' whether he. swings - a hammer
drarti.a-thread. - There is nothing sOdistant
from ;ai :
l:natural olaims as the reluctant, the
. haekward *milady, the forced smile, the
iiheeketl .conversation, the - hesitating,
off - are opt to man ittiet telhose
a 'little iaWer dow,a4rwah Whom convert.
con of inihlleit-and,,prinelffles vertde, they
= freqaeatly sink into ,;tiiiignioeanea.
A STORY. OF OLDEN TIMES.
By a Stale law of the State of New York
from April to December; all persons were
prohibited from killing deers, under a penal
ty of ten dollars, the informer to get one
half, and in default of payment ten lashes on
the naked buck.
A Yankee pasting through the State of
New York, near Albany, in the month of
November, observed a young Dutchman,
from- a barer door ; scittinting over' , his shovel
at a deet. abottt thirty paces from him, and
soliloquising thus: • •
°Mine Cot-4f I bad mine gun here, and
it Wits not for the law, I would have some
eer_formine_ti n n Pr
The Yankee had a rifle_with him and im
mediately shot the deer, and threw his fiiid
into the snow, unobserved by the Dutchman
and running up to him said—
'A..h! my good fellow, you have been kil
brig a deer—far I saw yon you shot him
with the shovel.'
The Dutchman very much frightened; re
'Mirk Cot!— I did not tink *tine shovel
was loaded: I did not tink it would go off,
I never knew it to go off Wore.'
'Well,' ,said the Yankee, 'you have killed
the deer ; and I will go to the justice and
complain of you, and make you pay your
fine, unless you give nici the skin and two
'Vell,' . said the Dutchman, '4.ho' I dartot
tink lay tamed shovel vould go off, dat is
petter dun pay ten
So the bargain was concluded; the Yan
kee receiving the skin and the two dollars
left the Dutchman to take care of the veni
While the Dutchman was taking care of
his venison, and before he had put it out of
the way, another • Dutchman came up and
threatened to complain,, upon which Hans
the Shovel Shooter, related all that had pas
sed bet Ween himself arid the Yankee.
Vanderhausen told Hans he had been ini
rirme—tr—Y-aukee kille I tl e deer
. - - aff,
_himself. The two Dutchmen then agreed
to pursue the Yankee, - and to brin ,, him be ,-
fore the justice and have him fined.
They soon evertook him and carried him
before the, justice; and Hans entered his
complaint pro bond pdblico. W hare-upon,
the justice, after hearing all the testimony
pro and con, and taki'g the subject Matter
into cool, and serious deliberation, come to
the conclusion that the Yankee kilkid the
.deer with a certain itistriiment
rifle and that he pay a fine of ten dollars, or
he be whiplitd ten lashes. The----Yankee
chose the latter. The jnstic then ordered
the Yankee to be stripped, tied to a tree and
the whip applied. There being no officer
present, the justice concluded to do the
whipping himself, and at it he went. After
he had given the Yimkee five lashes, and
was proceeding to give hint the other five,
the Yankee bawled out— , . •
‘Vot i suitl the jdstio , 'WM is five more
The Yankee informed the justice that
half the pay went to the informer.
Justice"Dat is te law;-unite te Yankee;
tie up te Ddtehnign ; give- him half te fine,'
The following is from the pen of a distin
guished officer. The sentiments are true
and excellent, and beautifully expressed:
Around he idea of one's mother the min6l
of man clings with fond affection. tis tile
first deep thought stamped on our intlint
hearts, when yet soft add capable of receiv
ing the most profinind impressions, and all
the after feelings of the world are more or
less light in comparison. • I do not know
that oven hi old ago We do riot look back to
that feeling as the sweetest we have through
life. Onir passion and our willfulness may
lead us far front the object of our filial love;
We learn even to pain tier heart, to oppose
her wishes, to violate her commands, we may
become Wild or angry or head-strong at her
counsels or oppositions; but when death has
stilled her monitory voice, and nothing but
calm memory remains to recapitulate her
Virtues and good deeds, affection, like a flow
er beaten to
. the grodild by a past storm,
raises up her head add smiles 'aitiongst her
tears. Rotind that idea, as We have said,
the Mind clings with fond affection; and even
when the early period of onr loss forces
mernorrto be silent, fancy takes the place
of remembrance, and twines the image of
our dead parent witka garland of graces
and beauties, and virtues, which we doubt
not she possessed.
Curiosities of- the ftrth.
At the city of IVlndina, in Italy,. and about
four miles around it wherever the earth is
dug, when the workmen arrive at the dis
tance of sixty-three feet, they come to a bed
thaik Which they bore with an auger, five
feet deep- They then Withdraw -from the
pit before the anger'is removed ) and upon
its extrication the Water•bnrsts up. through
the . aiMrture withe great violence, and quick
ly fills the newly mae well, which continues
full, and is affected neither by rains not
drought. 13nE what is most remarkable in
this operation is the Inyers ot the earth as
We descend. At the depth of fourteen • feet
is found the rains of au ancient city, paved
streets, houses, floors'and different phices. of
miasmic work. Under this is found - a soft
'oozy earth, made up of vegetables, and at
twenty-six feet, large -trees entire, - such' as
.walnut trees, with the walnuts still stick i ng
to the stem, and the leaves and branches in
a perfebt state of preservatien: At• twenty
ight feet deeti:a soft chatk'is feted, mixed
with a vast quantity of shells, and the .bed
is eleven feet thick, Under - this vegetables
are fliitnd agnin • .
CONVIOTI6i.-"NC1131) rietit heaven,
aelhose that convietea ; none are so near
heti as.thaae whp (inineiCeonvietion.
.46*Bakia.11:y NE6*Nriiiicivetatier i *itesiatimisvi• istimet,
WAYNESBORO, FRANKLIN COINTY, PENNSYLVANIA, FRIDAY MORNING, ENE 27,1862:
The Printer's Estate.
The printer's dollars -where are they 7-4
dollar hero and-a ' iollar.there scattered ever
numerous small towns, ell over the cou.atry,
miles and miles a part—how shall they be
gathered together? The paper maker, the
brining owner, the journeyman compositor,
the grocer, the tailor, and assistants to him
in carrying on his bnsiness, have their de
mands, hardly ever so small as a single dol
lar. But the mites from here and there
must be diligently gathered and patiently
hoarded. or the wherewith to discharge the
liabilities will never become Alfficiently
We imagine the printer will have to get
up an address to his widly scattered dollars
someitc - e - the - followiuB.
"Dollars, lalves, quarters, dimes, afid all
manner of fractions into which ye are divi
ded, collect yourselves, and come home?. Ye
are wanted! Combjpations of all sorts of men
that help the printer to become a proprietor,
gather stteh force, mid demand, with such
good reasons, your appearance at his counter
that nothing short of a sight of you will ap
pease them. Collect yourselves, for valua
ble as'yeu are in the aggregate, single you
will never pay the cost of gathering. Come
in here, in single file, that the printer may
form you into a battalion, and send you forth
swain to bottle for him f and vindicate his
feeble credit l's
Reader, "are you sure you haven't a cou
ple of the printer's dollars sticking about
your clothes ?
A Mother's Love.
Writes a pious Matron from one of our
hospitals ...the solitary disciple of Christ a
mong a 1 I the - physicians and attendants
"In the nest bed is a young man who has
been delirious/or a week; he is very happy,
and thinks I inn his mother, as he is only 18
and 'Veirsick. He is a splendid boy s and
another mother's heart will ache also,"
Others, she adds, have died calling aloud
for their mother. Oh, what a wealth of
tle field; illustrating the tremendous power
and responsibility of the mother. Her
voice is heard above the roar of combat, and
floats on the air of .the quiet hospital. Her
counsel and prayers sttbdtie the Wayward
heart, and lead to Christ when no other
means can reach and save the soul.
Let pious miithers pray for the 'soldier-
With'ititit, add all Cliristdins especially
remember the Vi odaddd and sick itt our great
host of young men who have left our homes
tier the field of carune.
KEEPIN' MEM AWAKE.—Near Newark,
N. J.,.lived a pious family who .had taken
an orphan to raise, who, by the way, was
rather underwittod. He had imbibed very
strict -views on religious matters, however,.
and once asked his adopted mother if 'she
didn't think it wrong for the old farmer to
come to church and fall asleep, paying no
better 'regard to the service. "Vile replied
she did. Accordingly, before going to
church the nest Sunday he filled his pocket
with apples. One bald-headed old man,
who invariably went to sleep during the ser
mon, particularly attracted his attention.—
Seeing him at last nodding and giving nasal
evidence of being in the "land of dreams,"
he hauled off and took the astounded sleep
er, with an apple, square on the top of his
bald pate. The minister and aroused con
gregation at once turned around and indig
nantly gazed at the boy, Who merely said to
the preacher, as he took another apple in.
his hand, with a sober, lio ,, est impression of
countenance, ''l'uu on; I'll keep 'em
EFFECT OF RIDICULE.-A pious lady of
the City of Richmond, Virginia, once loft a
church in company with her liftiband, who
was an impenitent man. She was a woman
of unusual vivacity, with a keen perception
of the ludicrous, and often playfully sarcas
tic. As they, walked along towards their
dwelling, she began-to-make—some-amusing
and spicy comments on the sermon, which a
stranger, a man of Very ordinary talents and
awkWard manner, had preached that morn
ing in the absence of the pastor. After run
ning on in this vein of sportive criticism to
her httiband, she turned and looked up in
his time. He wat; in tears. That sermon
had sent an arrow of conviction to his heart!
What must. have . been the anguish of the
conscience stricken wife, thus arrested in the
act of ridiculing a discourse which had been
the means, of awakening the anxiety of her
unconverted husband.---Rcligious "Jerald.
SWEET Or AGEi—God: sontahnes g ives
to man a guiltless and holy second child h ood,
not childish, and, the facilities ' in full • fruit
and 'ripeness, are 'mellow, without a sign of
decay. Ifit:s is that sought for land of Bed
!all, where they whe have travelled , manfully
the Christian way abiille awhile, to slum The
world a mrfect manhood. Life, with its
battle arfflEtt Sortims, lies far behind them;
the soul has thrown off its armor' and sits in
an evening undress of calm and holy leisure.
Thrice blessed die family or neighborheod
that numbers among it one of those not yet
'ascended saints! Gentle are they end toler
ant,-and ape to' play with little 'children, - ea ,
Sy to-be ple.thed wi:h little pleasures,
A KEEN REPLY .-- John 'Wesley; In a cen.
sideiable party, had been 'lnaintaining, with
greatearnestness, the doctrine 'of.Vor..poPit
li vox Det , againsC , his sister,. whose ,talentS
Were iiotlinwortl4' the fatally to - vi , hielt she
,preaCher to pat'an
end 'to the Oontroversy, put his "arovitten i in
the shape of a . dieturn; and said:. '
"I tell you, sister, the voice of the people,
is the voice of
"Yei," she replied; mildly, "it eriedTru
eify hits, erueifriticer " ,
•--b more'. admirable amityer was, „perhaps,
never given, • • !; • •
!FOR THE RECORD.
The rosy face of satiny June, '
Flushed with the timings of the flowers
Stole on,Our sight, aeon our ear.•a tune •
That lotig-forgotten breathes of happy hogs.
The roses nodded to the passing breezes,
Their pale pink petals strewed the moisteneo
Through honeysuckles sweet, the belted bees
Their nectar-laden bugles hummed around.
The lofty chestnuts shook their feathery bloom;
The robin weibled from the 'pendant spray;
The breeze was scented with the faint perfume
Of clover buds, in gelds acre the way. •
The skylark fluttered -in the dewy grass,
' z iterated by the--daziiling-scene;
The crystal stretatflet gleamed and flushed like gleurt,
The .grass along its margin grew a brighter green
Alone I wandered on that lovely morn.
And gazed upon flier broad - expanse of sky,
And listened to the hum of voices, borne
By truant zephyrs o'er the blooming rye.
I thought upon the glorious works of God,
The mystery of all His works and wogs,
Who paints the lilly and the verdant sod,
And tunes our stubborn hearts toeing Hid praise
I thought ofjoys vanished in the Past,
!The Present, and of ages yet to be,
Of dreams too bright. too beautiful to last,
And men I thought—Rata, I thought of ?nu
Though far away trim home and kindred dear,
Still, still thy lota, sweet voice and sweeter smile,
Dim merrier' , hannting,Wortes our hearts to cheer.
As rain drops chore the lortey, barren isle
Years have elapsed since last thou saw the rose;
Or trailing woodbine twine araund thy home;
The myriad blossoms of the apple-boughs,
• Or the rich purple of the lilac's cone.
0, if *wish of mine could make it so,
Thy path through life woukl be a. path of peace,
Centime! %vitt. bright flow. t t Lurgeon and to blow,
And every year thy happiness increase.
May He who makes the Summer's balmy breath
To fin thy cheek and kiss thy sunny hair,
in tender mercy stay the hand of death,
And for years of usefulness, thy young life spare
And when tiff daps do earth are at'an end,
Am from its prison ouso 4tr ere ree,
Mayst thou glide tranquilly into 'that better land,'
As streams glide'to the bosom of the sea.
"WE'LL ALL MEET AGAIN ftv THE MORN
ING."—SIIek WAS the exclamadtm of a dying
child, as the red rays of the sunset streamed
on him throught the easement. "Good by,
good by I MamMa has come for nid to-night
don't cry, papal we'll all me again in the
morning It was as if an angel had spoken
to that father; and his heart grew lighter
7 0 - 7 fr-
under his burden; for something assured
him that his little one had gone to Him who
said, 'Suffer little children to come unto me,
for such is the kingdom of heaven."
There is something cheerful to all who
are in trouble, in this, "We'll all meet again
in the morning I" It rouses up the fainting
soul, and friglitens s away fear. Clouds may
gather upon our path; disappointments may
come; but all this cannot destroy the hope
within us, if we cau:say truly, "All will be
right in the morning V' •
If you were to die to-night, would it be
Well with you in the morning ?
If an editor omits anything, he is inatten
tive or lazy.. If he speaks of things as they
are, he is mad. If he glosses over, smooths
down the rough points, be is bribed. If he
dues not furnish his readers with jolees, he
is a mullet. If he (loos he is a rattlehead,
leaking stability. If he condemns the.wrong
he is a good fellow, but lucks discretion. If
he lets wrong and injury go unmentioned,
he is a coward. If he upholds a public nine,
lie does it to gratify spite—is a tool of a
clique, or belongs to the "outs." If he
dulg-es in personalities, ho is a blackguard.=
If he dues not, his paper is dull and insipid.
ANOTHER OLD REVODUTIONARY SOLDIER
GONE.—Died, on Friday, May 30, 1842, at
the residence of his son, Solomon File, in ,
Jefferson township, Dauphin county, Pa.,
John File, - atthe - advanced-age_ofll2_y_ears.
He was interriii the cemetery at Bower
loan church, in•the township aforesaid. It
was stated from the pulpit that he never
was known to make use of glasses either to
read or write, and that until within, two
Weeks of his death he was a German by des
cent, American born, and.for many years
past has resided in Dauphin county.
ADVICE GRA.TIS.—Keep out of 404=46
Out of cptarrels—out of law—out of polities
—out of thin 'soled shoes—out" of damp
clothes-out of reach of brandy—out of to
bacco out of matrimony,- 'unless you are in
lOve—out of the doctor's hands—ont of-cred
it—out of charity shows—out or reach of
your enemies and the• devil - Wand avoid the
monstrous sin of swindling the printormt of
his just dues. •
"WtreN a man takes more , pleasure
earning money than in spending it," saYa a
popular writer on economy, has taken
the first atop towards wealth!: ,Thisia,goOd
in I s place, but it may bp well, to be minded,
that when a man tad* pore pleasure in
.hoarding money' than indoing.good with it,
he, has takfin a long step towarda.',perdition.
Monrstfi—The 7 claiervit - baildings have
the lowest fouhdations; the best balsantsinks
to the bottoin; f those ears - of ce,T,11410 . be gip!
Cr trees that are, most filled' and:hest:lad:en;
bow loriestiisp,do scalp that are Inca •
with . fraits
carrieShls &we - spoke,
and makes not 'on4i•hls Ciwu-e;kela bht
those, of 'other priple;:" •
Death - is fint the oat - e 0"
which lightiart .immortal Inuit ithe satiny
galshing of alight on earth, to , le;
in Heaven. '"' ,
Ail foultowe'fittOonalle mrhon one has
eouroo to itvortethei*;
'rho stairs of'''cirstoni. is the sport of time
Why is the letterglike•tife•eliftef spring?
adeause it is tiridtegiiiriing'of-June.
Why are darned atookingg like dead,tneu?
Because they are men-ded.
Why . ,* the setter s it; dying
Sian 7 •Beeatise it is the end of:sorrow, . -
Why is_the lette X like a seoldiil9.*ife
Because it is "cross."
Why is the letter Y like sight? Becaute
it is in the middle of the "eye."
Why are an elephant's nostrils like clothes
not in daily use ?
When is a draft not acceptable? When
icgives one the rhowatism.
Many a rascal is, like a bell; he was made
m purpose to be hanged.
It is easier to suppress the first desire,
than it is to, satisfy all that follows it.
Who minds his own busbies well, lets a
lone the business of others.
Creditors have better memories than debt-
There is healing in a smile, and' laughing
is medicine to the mind.
One of the severest struggles in life is that
between a proud spirit and an empty purse.
What word is there of five letters which, if
you take away two, six still remains? Sixty.
Why is the letter M like the first glass of
ruin? Because it is the beginning of mise
Life may be merry; as well as useful:—
Every person that owns a mouth has always a
good opening for a laugh.
THE selfish man eanno see e misers
of the-world-4e cannot-feel the pangs_
thrusts of hunger
Beecher says there are many persons who
think Sunday is a sponge with which to
wipe out the sins of the week.
To expect and not to come; to he in bed
and not to sleep; to serve and not to please;
are three things enough to kill a man.
If you want enemies, excel others; if you
want friends, let thetu excel you—or at least
let them think so.
The old man looks down, and thinks of
the past; the young man looks up, and thinks
of the future; the child 'looks everywhere,
and thinks of nothing.
TILE ornament and beauty of this lower
world, nest to God and his wonders, are
the men that spangle and shine in godliness.
What is the difference between a blind
man and a sailor in prison? The one can't
see to go, and- the other cannot go to sea.
.Why is a handsome girl like an excellent
mirror ? Bete she is a good, looking=
Why is the este rpiller like hot caked—
Because it's the grub that makes the butter-
Lowtatmes 'is a sign of blessedness. He
whom the Lord most weighs down with
spiritual blessing stoops the most tneekly
under the weight. ‘r
The side which is beautiful is often the
side which is. true; if the eyes of Love are
bandaged' there is a triple bandage over the
eyes o f Hate.
It has been observed that ill-natured old maids
seldom or never use sugar at the tea-table.
The reason probably is that scandal is a•stif
,ner-of-the dish, :
Hearing a physieian remark that a small
blow would break the nose,'nur John exclaim
©d, "well I donne bout`, that. I've.blowed
my nose a great many times and, I've never
broke it yet."
By ..-,the mistake of an apothecary, at
Winchester, Illinois, aquantity of antiMonial
Wine Was sold t o the Methodists for coin
minion:, It was quarterly meetin* day , when
it was taken, and the' effect wailrolitful.
The following paragraph we clip from the
regular report of the Connecticut, Legislature:
"Bill to tax geese, cats and bachelors." Mr.
Harrison — was opposed - to the 'bill taxing,
bachelors. There was a tax already laid 'up
on geese., and any man who hid iivochwenty
fire years.withont getting married Could be
takoiCiitider that section.
, "Who can paint like nature?" exclaimed a
young . Indy, ns She held a Copy of Thinupsoies
'Seasons in- one hand; , while the, - -'ether .was
clasped by her ear. ptured ~ "Ahl_what
Soul there is - in that passages who indeed can
paint like nattier - "Yea -- eaur•shOizted her
bretber,..wbo had been pepping in at:the win
dei; "you're. just the girl that pun- ,you're
7ofoil , ll'ke:all no,ftere nous.
1.• , yoing fellow'ofour sectuninhilicei whose,
4:ietter hall, had just n - rieented,bim with a.!
pair of bouncing twiitu i atien - - a e a Rev.
church.on last- - Sttuclajainiig.l - 'Pun:
lug the. disnousint , the t e ‘ lorg e vuou looked right
at our,innocent, frieuk v enid, ,in tout:nf.
tliniting:eloquencei - -
4, -Yonng• min . , - you
epensibility4hrtint-upowyen;i:.. „„ „.
Tlae ...neW. 4 l l edir;gLlA*.4o4:llliP.P oo .ing that
the new prmhor, ulludolt v to „his, pruliar
ineei; by ioplYitie 4 -Yes iiilrliiivotirtrsiff
; • „ -."-; 1.,t4.1
"••••••"'Yr.:ki 1,414 . , 14;
eq;••••••••' • , •"t •
,t•• • '••
A!% - w4f • • -
75, I E-4: -•
why one lie
iiiiite . "Otieatiltilif is
hhish fcit youV. as tiox
• rogtietitot,stitii to
the old maid.
A bad husband beats his wife,aud a,,kkad
wife beats the devil.
No Man was fiver knoWii to be "dinivned.
with. a re6eipt from the printer in iiis tiObli + et.
•There ace tiro' Cites ii4-Icrite--:iel'eitratia
gant wife and a sixpence worth of tiAenie.
The former,however is the, most certainr.
Polish girls are said
,to,woar. little hal on
their person , so that their nt4thttra,plity know
Why is a lenion like an did inaid Who has
beau pretty? Because : it woo • made •to
squeezed and wasn't.
There is .alweys a heart—(seat of aptiahle
iVeekness)=under the tightest silk bodice
ever held by hooks anleyes.
An old lady doiril east recently gia l it so
sound, that when she awoke in the nioining
she didn't know who. she was.
An editor down east boasts of ,having a con
troversy wint a *mean and got the last word!
The report lacks confirmation.
There are three dangerous, institntionsin
- the world, viz :--Kicking colts, pretty calico
and gun powder. •
The best time for a lady to marry is, when
she gets a good chance. The best age from
14 to 40.
A justice of the pence in Lafayette, Ind.,
refuses .to perform the marriage ceremony
when the thermometer is about 90 , on the
grounds of unconstitutionality.
A wicked cotemporary says no ladies visite
him because they cannot get through the
:A._wounded Irishman wrote hotne_from the
hospital, and finished up by sayiug, "I'm for
this oitititl; I've bled for it, 4I I shall soon
be be able to say I've died for it.
John asked Julia if she would haVe
"No," said she, "I will not have int, but tie
fore John could recover from the shock she
archly put in," "but you can have mc."
Jerry Diggs remembered his miserly uncle
in this will, for he bequeathed "to my inoth
ers brother a gun flint, and a knife to skin ,
FIX/NO.—Waiting to get things fixed be
fore getting married, is,, like: waiting until
we get ready to die. "Tis a chance Wheth
er people get ready in either ease.
Politeness goes a great ways. Henry
Ward Beecher allyiti an impudent eletk can
do almost as much injury to &Store as 'the
neglect of the propietor to 'advertiNeAtiti
By a recent marriage, the mother bedame
a mister, and the grandmother the mothei:, of
the bride, and the sister 'became tho . mother
of the. bridegroom. How did this happen?
"Ma, if you will - give the htcapple,': 1 will
•'No my child, you must 'riot be good 'for
pay—,i/ou ought to be good fornothiny.'t
As a good mother wai're atum thelord.s
Thayer to her little three year.old boy,as he
retired, when she, mum e to the words"giye
us this day our daily breaci" the little 'fellow
said "ask for pie, too, mamma." ,
A sixty-nine . 'pounder shell bytrStliettenn
Irishman in - brie of the treneheS: 'Pat encilly
surveyed the .ruins the frakments had - Made,
and exclaimed,' "Be jaheri! thim's the fellows
to soften the wax - in - a. man's', ear!" „
A friend from California tells us ,a story
which we. don't whether to believe or
s - 3 --
not. -- siji - 16 - lii*fs giowr*Oliria in
that country that -64 take - a Wet and jitfn
it into-a barrel, and eat the green .part'off
and, send .it
,to market. • , ' •: •
OEP.:--A portly young friend Orrilirg
the other day contemplated forsititherrilifilM3
..the ponderous dimensions of a bystander's
feet, and then .in a 'tone of
gild, as lie surveyed the man's' upper works;
'You'd have been ,a devilish tall Man' le they
hadn't bent . You off, so far up!'., „•- •
When .3ladge was a:Firy
father found her chubby
blossoms of a beautiful tea-rose, on. whlelcho -
; bad bestowed great, carer
he, I tell . you •not to prole one of
these flowers :without leiver.)sYeai-paptt,'
said Madge, Innocently, 'but Alf these .had
Tuts Fort :ILL TArryns.—"Mrs.-.SMIA:i
said a neighhor who . stekied irite„the . , house
of the former, just as She in the ael, of
"seating hermilf at the table;` - !‘have yoWheard
of that dreadful iceident:?'!,;' • '
"Mr., Smith has ,falle'n,frpuil4ragm and
• i4 . iiitaa."
dimes;., au& then•youll'
A .Dutch..eaßiturt, the otherdayp j worApa
. in , :thei..,ordii4o3ciitniiatioil, - ,if booth o of
the .priv,,atertheke nrawno:rernedy;464;4l,
;,the.soldieileaM4 2 apcm Musks - 70044e '
' 'Has it come
TheLkhqw., comma- •
- Ninoty 4 eatnrillh,c4hiPl-firrie.•-eril*llliml4)*-A- ,
patriotic Pennsylvanian, should ever be kfcL
-@ by ?lf Ll4kiWuzltti?r