o
__.4..,
By W. Blair.]
" VOL. IL
egLECT. POETRY,
........
Eau ani.
'Tis sweet to look back° sometimes,
To the bright and cheerful hours,
Of young life's joyous morning,
Amid its genial flowers.
When sunny curia were clustered,
O'er faces fresh and fair,
Anil every twilight left us
Unburdened with a care.
'Tis sweet to look back, sometimes,
And muse o'er all the names
OF those whose merry voices
3 Were heard in school-day games, .
• The rosy cheeks and laughing eyes,
Sweet feces all aglow.
• The_friends who shared our pleasures then
Are widely scattered now.
Ms sweet to look back, sometimes,
To moments long gone by,"
And think of those who loved us,
Perchance who silent lie,
Where rose the pink nrputus,
And tinted pansies bloom,
While soft the spirit whispers
Hope sleepeth in the tomb.
CHILDREN ITV RIVEN'
Jr" the broad &las of heaven,
In the immortal bowers,
Dwelling by life's clear river,
Amid the undying flowers—
AWads of beauteous spirits,
Fair children,of the earth,
ed in bright bands celestial,
Sing)of their human birlh.
They sing of earth and heaven—
/lXvinest voices raise, ,
thanks and praises unto Him
The golden haired, the_blue,eyed,
That lighted up opr life,
And folded were, within our hearts,
From all_the world's rude strife;
The blessings of our bosoms,
The stars upon our sky,
The flowers up•springing in our path,
Too beautiful to die:
They are all there in Heaven,
Safe, safe, and sweetly blessed;
No cloud of sin can shadow
Their bright and holy rest.
S - E-LECT° MISCELLANY.
No Poverty There!
Millions of good men have left the earth
poor. Lazarus ; the moment he died, wag
n beggar at the gate, bnt in a moment af
ter his death, his-estate had grown so last
that the haughty worldling, still surviving
in all his affluence, in comparison with
• him was a penniless pauper. Oh, poor
believer; rrjoice in prospect of your grand
inheritance ! It is incorruptible undefiled
and fadeth not away. It is really immense,
inestimable, unspeakable. Ha s it, not
been your endeavor to "lay up for your
selves treasures in heaven?" Why not of
tener think of results there? Fear not.--
= There'is good news from that far•colinfry. -
Unsuenerisiaai'you may have seemed on
Barth, your heavenly schemes have all
prospered. I'he treasury of, Cod
flows with your wealth. And it is safe—
perfectly safe. Neither moth nor rust car
rums it; nor can thieves Brea
steal it. MOreover, it shall increase—
forever increase. As long as you live on
earth you may add to the principal, and its
interest will multiply beyond all compu'a
lion, to all eternity., .Crcestis was rich.
Solomon was rich, Loon Hos was rich, the
Rothschilds are rich; but the humblest heir
of God is richer far than all. It may be
that the stores you have already accumu
lated in heaven would buy this town, buy
the ttistrict, buy the country., buy the world
--and still be comparatively untouched.—
. .Play. think not this - extravagant!. would
not barter the -heritage of the most desti
tute of Christians for the whole globe and
all its improvements Lift up yang. heart;
—let-it-e-sparmt-and-o-verfl iss A
the close of the short journey through time
you will see eternity open - befiire you, all
radiaiit with the variety of your boundless
and endless possessions. Be not proud,
indeed—alas for the folly of all pride !
but be grateful. thankful, hopeful and hap
-
• py.—Stockton'B. Sermons.
Religion. •
Whatever of excelte4ce is wrought in the
soul itseil. belongs to both worlds. Real
goodness does not attach itself to-the-pres
ent lile; belongs to another world.
Political and professior.al fame cannot
last forever. but a conscience void ni of•
fence before God and man, is an inheri
tance for eternity.
Religion, therefore, is a necessary and al
most indispensable element in any human
Character. There is no living without it.
Religion is the, tie which connects man
With his Creator and biirrdilitic) His
throne.
• If that tie — is sundered or broken, he
floats away a_ worthless atom* in the uni
verse, its
_proper- attraction all gone, ite
destiny - thwarted, and" its whole future no.
thivg kut darkness, desolation and death.
A man with no sense of religi.lue duty is
he whom the Scriptures describe—in so
terse but terrifc - manner—as living with
out, God. in the world.' Such a man is nut
of hh proper being—out of the circle of all
his happiness, and away, 'far away from
the purposes of shis . creation.—pan'l Webs
ter. ,
• 'IFa• man •is odious an society. he might
as well be in prison. The worst prisons
are ntil ofstonevthey:are of,throbbing hearts
outraged by an infamous life.
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The Sabbath,
The Sabbath - comes. How perfect and
how grateful ia t its silerial Dumb is labor
anti hushed all tumult and care. Even the
great marts of trade are. deseria; and cit
ies - rest.. The very birds sing a new song
a
—and certain delicious soothing grdets
you at you s r waking and murmurs to you
gratefully: "This is the day the. Lord-has
made." Dull and dead must he be be
yond the dullness and deadness of - the mere
sluggard, who does not feel some awaken
ing of the better man within him at the
hallowed advent of the Sabbath morning.
;co consecrate and complete the home,
there must be religion in it; and. as the
world and life are. Sunda} must be looked
to mainly for the giving of that consecra
tion andcompleteness,
In itself elle home is a sacred place: Its
founder is God. Its gifts, its possibilities
are his. The things sacred to the soul and
life are of it. Jt is the place of birth, of
growth, of death—and these three great
mysteries, these processes in our being,
sanctify it unto us. Distinctively religious
then should be the home made by us, and
every lather and mother be known as the
priest and priestess (tithe domestic altar.
The old Levitical law should be revived
among us, and every man "sanctify his
house to be holy unto the Lord."
• The religion of home should be broad
and genial as religion in itself is, not con
fined to seasons and to tasks, not to cate.
chisms and articles of faith, not, to set acts
and forms, not to the Bible votjon,
hut liberal and complete of Itiine-al
touching every positto ation, ct--joys;
as well as sorrows—tieleast,the common,
as welt as the greatest and the exce;itional.
It should have all the reverence of the first
commandment, and all "the scope of the
second--and this secured by word, by
preeep ---
._not by _causing to know, and do, bpt by
leading the way In knowing and doing.—
The thing most to be apprehended,most to
guar d rgainst, is disgusting the •members
of the tome with the subject of religion—
a thing many well-meaning homes have
done.
"Look Forward not Back."
It seems to me (says a writer) that all
times are alike adapted fir happiness, and
if we grow old as one should grow-old, the
last days of life must beae happiest of all.
Every Stage 01 life is but the• preparation
for the next one. It -is the treasure house
-in which are collected all the' pieasures
that are to make the -future time happy.—
The chill has indeed but lew troubles, but
they are to him as larger ones prove to
his parents. I asked a friend once, speak
ing of the happy cloudless days 01 hiS
childhood. if fie would like to be . always a
child. Ile stopped for a rnoment,and then
said "No." I think he was right. There
is progress • in everything—in our means of
happiness, and in our capacity for enjoy
ment.• Then let-us look back upon the
time-wrinkled face of the past only with
feelings of regret. Give me the present,
glowing and full of life, and the future glor
laiis With its brr k ht visions. I would rath
er look forward than back; rather spend
the golden hours in working our present
happiness, than in vain regrets for the past.
It is but the helm with which to steer our
on Ward course._lt_is_the_steep-and rugged
mountain up which lies our way. 'lt is
not genus nor forttune that paves the _way,:
to eminence. but earnest, self control, and:
wicdom. These are in our hands; - ret -- a.r
use them, and when, at the sunset of lile.
we turn to look back on our path, and see
it stretched far down before us peacefully,
happily, we may lay ourselves down to
rest.
A Friendly Voice from the 'Green Isle.'
The Dublin Iristimaii comments on the
settlement of the Trent affair, as' follows:
A man whose sword arm is disabled. and
resting in a sling,would be nettoonrett
guil
ty of suicide were he to accept a challenge
from an antagonist, for whom even with
the-fall-use-of-a-11 his members—he—would
scarcely be a match. England foupd A
merica precisely in this condition, and,
with a cowardice for which it would be
difficult to produce a parallel, challenged
her to combat, which. for the credit of hu•
manity, we are rejoiced that she had the
courage to decline.
Before that arm'had got disabled—aye,
within thelast four years—England. at the
demand til,Anterica, relinquished her pos
session of one of the main routes of the
world's commerce; antL...‘e may now con- .
gratulate the 6.mistress of the seas" in hav
ing obtained in. exchange a couple of gen
tleman, who according t o the London
Times axe of nyi more account than a coo.
pie of negroesi—
We say to America. preserve your coun
try tram the shame of Europi , an interfer
ence. 'lf you do not mean that the for
eigner shall water his horses in the Poto
mac. and the halls of your Capital be con
verted into the assembly rooms of some
provincial 'parliament. save - your'couniry
and save it speedily."
\ IIIREVOCAULE Acrs.—Yonder lives one
whn has gone to the silent'shores. he real
flp.s now that his acts are irrevocable-The
feels what before he had fancied, that time
cannot' alter them. Reside the bier there
stands a weeping friend; and too late he
finds that tears cannot (Tect'llis acts, that
repentance caunot amend 'them; too late
he finds that everv,act of harshness, evEry
tinter word, - every\sarcastie -expiession;
lives forever; ton late he duds that unseen'
wings have btivn e. his deeds beyond the
flight of hive; and that he ear( never recall
them to his embrace again.
A rainily Newspaper Neutral in Politicp and Religion:
WAYNESBORO', FRANKLIN MINTY PENNI, PRIM FEBRUARY-28,
A ehort time ago one of our citizens who
loves his joke as well as folks geneially
do. had occasion to visit one of the small
towns in the - -inTeriti - r of — titer State — aad
knowing he would have considerable walk
ing over muddy roads, he took with himpa
pair of large rubber boots. He arrived at
his destination about nine o'clock in the
evening, and upon inquiry he found that
the only tavern in the place was half a
mile from the station, NO
,conveyance
was to be had and the road was muddy in
the extreme. Congratulating hithself on
having his long boots, he set off and found
the mud in same plaCes so deep that_ his
bows were barely long enough. Ile reach
ed the hotel at last. to rather soiled a
bout the feet. After supper he inquired
the charge of lodgings.
“We usually charge," said the landlord,
who also had some_fun in his composition,
"twenty-five cents; but if a man goes to
bed with such boots as them on. (pointing
to the customer's feet,) we charge - him fif
ty cents.
"A very good idea I should think," re
turned the traveler.
After halt an hour's conversation, the
landlord showed him to his room, and they
parted for the night. mutually pleased with
each other. The next'morning our friend
arose late, and inquired for the landlord,
learnet) that he bad gone from. home to
attend to some business. After breakfast
he handed a dollar to the landlord's wife.
saying :
"There Ia fifty cents for my supper and
,toreakfast and fifty cents for my lodging."
`."Twenty-five cents is all we charge for
h tiging,'' said the landlady.
retur.ned the stranger. "under
ordinary circumstances;, but itt: this case
fifty cents is not too '
was in conjecture as to what could be the
circumstances wich required a man to pay
double price for lodging. %V ben her hue
band returned. he asked
44 las that man who slept in the front
ro awe down yet?"
44 es,"an4wered his wife. "and - has gone
away. He i paid fifty dents for his lodging,
and said, under the circumstances it was
right."
The landlord rushed up stairs. His
wife followed, to learn the meaning of
such strange proceedings, and found her
husband wittrrhe bed clothes turned down
and her best bed looking noire fit to plant
potatoes in than it did for a butuVrt 'being
to sleep in. V
"You saw that man when he arrived
here last night ?"
••Yes."
"You saw his boots, didn't pouf"
"es."
'.Well," said the landlord, "the scamp
slept in 'em "
A few day-a-after the traveler,-on his re
turn home. put up at the •same tavern.—
Neither himself or the landlord said any-_
thing about. the boots, which were in 'the
same condition as on the previous occa
sion; but the landlady looked daggers at
him, and eyed his boots with anxiety.
About ten o'clock, he said he would retire.
"And, by the , way, landlord," said he,
with a merry twinkling in his eye, •what_'
do you usually charge for lodging ?"
"We charge." a tisweredi"-the_land lord;
with tremendous emphasis, "twenty-five
centil"
There is no little of repining nn the part
of many worthy people, which must be at
tributed chiefly to a habit of forgetting
some well known truths. It would be good
for all to remember that in the long run,- 1
the things which now fret and annoy will
all be seen to be parts of a plan-el infinite j
benevolence. The evils we lament will
be turned into agencies fi r good, and the
sorrows we experience will eventuate in
futur*joys: The lite is sweetest variclt is
passed !n extracting honey even
. from the
bitterest adversities; and he is the wisest
inan_st_ho,can_tnost_heartily_confidejnAhe_,
rectitude of Providence. and in the final
supremacy of truth anti right. In the long
run, that the Christian will come not well,
who works cheerfully, hopefully. heartily,',
without %vesting his energies upon vain
regrets and passionate murmurings. The
bird sings in the storm;'why % may not the
child of-trod rejoice Id°, even though pass-
ing clouds- lower?'
SWEET OLD AGE.—God sometimes gives
to man a guiltless and holy second child
hood. in which the soul becomes childlike,
not childish, and the faculties. in full fruit
and ripeness. are mellow, without sign of
decay. This is 'that sought for land 6f
Beulah, where they who manfully the
Christian. way abide awhile, to show the
world a perfect manhood. Life with''its
battles and its sorrowsdies lar behnathem;
the soul his throown off its armour. 'and
sits in an evening undress of calm in holy
leisure. Thircc blessed the family or
neighborhood that numbers among ir\ one
of those not yet ascended saints I Gentle
are they arid tolerant, and apt to play with
little children; and easy to be pleased with
little pleasure. ,
A. Croon Lire —A life well spent,a char
aeter uprightly sustained, is no slight lega
cy to leave to. one's children., and to the
world, for it is the most eloriirent lessah of
virtue, sad the severest reproaf id : vire,
while it continues an enduriog sanrce
the best kind of riches. 1% ell tor those
who can say as Pape dirt, in .rei-rinder to
the Samurai of fiord flecrriey; ••l think . it
enough that 'my , parents.such a 6 160 .were,
never* rfoit me a blush; arid their•soo, such
as he is, nevereoiritieni a telY."
Lodgings for Boots.
In the long Run.
WHIT WE'RE FLUTING FOR.
When rebel gunii of
A pair of breech
I thought 'twos time _
All trimmed with army braid.
And so I parted from my wife,
And on her lips I sealed
A kiss, and said, now go . to GRASS
While I go take the FIELD.
I feel ,contented ; and my heart
, With martial ardor•glows, •
So here's farewell to home and FRIENDS,
To fight my country's FOES.
Way down' on old- Virginny's soil,
On Potomac's tranquil shore,
Instßad of my poor baby's ca
111 bear the cannon enact.
No more I'll PUFF my prime cigar,
And listen to his prattle
For me,'lnstead, the din of ,war,
For me the SMOKE of battle.
I'll to show the rebel states
The depth of their delusion—
The next to HEALTH there's nothing like
A Bond old CONSTITUTION.
-ellow Francis P. Blair "Got Jessie,"
The Politicians tell a good story of 'a
collision between Francis P. Blair, Senior,.
(of the old Globe firm of Blair and Rives)
and . Jessie Benton Fremont, wife of the
ex General of the West, which shows how
immensely caustic and impudent
wom
an's wit can be when the head which hold's
the tongue is educated, and when the
spirit is high enough . to dare to battle with
ev erybody and egrerything. It may stand.
upon record as one of the best shots ever
laurelled by a woman's tongue. When
Jessie came on to Washington, a few
months ago, to endeavor to ferret out the
hostility to her husband which .was evi
dently working there, she' very naturally
_well known tribe his chief o i rponents.—
During one of:her interviews witb—Mont
gomery Blair, Postmaster' Ge'heral, Francis
P.; the father, was present. Jessie's
tongue had been running at the, younger
Blair with that looseness' and boldness
which rightfully belongs to the daughter of
old Thomas Benton, and the wife' of a
man who come very near being President;
and the old man after a time could not
•
stand it.any lorigkr.
•.Mac ame," he said, drawing his figure
to his 1 II height, and intending to wither
the auoacions little woman by a flash of
his bard, cold eye— ,, Madame allow me
1.)- ) sa y to y o u that, in my judgement, your
proper place is at the head of your bus
band's household in Fft. Louis, and this
intermeddling with affairs of state, to say
the least of it, is in very bad taste on your
part ?" Then, to make the blow a 'final
and crushing one, and show that Washing
ton was the spot where the destinies of
Generals as well. as Statestrien were to be
finally decided, he added, "1 wish you to
understand, Madame, that here in Wash
ington is where we make men, and where
we unmake them - !" •
"Mr. Blair." , said Jessie, shrugging her
shoulders alter a' manner that 'she learn•
ed in France, and casting a wicked look
out of the corner of her eyes at Monignm-.
ery—q have seen some men of your ma.
king, anti if that is the best you can do,
advise you to quit the business !"
Those who know the weszen and dried
up appearance of Francis P. Blair himself,
and the decidedly un-ornamental physique
of his sons, may form some idea of the el
feet of his paixhan, in the midst of the
smoke from which .Jessie gathered her
skirts and swept out of the room, I leaving
the Blair family routed, horse, foot. and
dragoons. Old Tom himself, the hero of
ve hundred spicy tongue fights, may be
prowl of the daughter he has left 'behind,
if he has the privelege of looking out of
his place of retirement. On the personal
an.l political squabbles of the loud he once
strode.over with so proud a Consciousness
of Tersonal dignity .
FATHER AND MOTHER --Some writer
embalme•these two holy names in the fol-
owing beautiful thong
"Sweeter praise can never he than that
ail dying parent, as he blesses the hand
that led,him from sorrow, and is even now
soothing the cold brow, damp with the
spray.ol Jordon., And dear the thoughts
as your tears fell upon the sod that covers
the gray headed fattier that you were' very
kind and loving in hin►; and; 'you gave
cheerfully of your abundance. and never
caused him to feel that y ou were doing
charity. Never can wP, • gepay those min
istering angels we call — fattier and mother.
Ange's. though earthly, they have ever
been, from the time that , Adam and Eve
gazed upon their first " born, as he s'ept a
mid roses. while the•iiliy fingers, the wax
en lids and the cherub form were all mys
terious .to the-m.
AN Acilonsi wtrtt Gun.—The' oihei
day we saw a gentleman stop :and give a
poor Woman, a kind word. and money suf
ficienkto purcitase a pair of shoes to protect
her feet. We saw the, same man on the
cars about two week's' ago. 'and' hi 4 not
met him since till last week. ` Abo - ut two
5 ears since we were • 'th'e nonfood, there
was alio on board,a poor woman with not
money enringh to paV heV fire. - The con.;
doctor was about to_ put her off a t e: cars
between the stations. when.the the gentle•
man alluded to orde-ed the conductor to
desist, ilviireci the amount she wanted',
net,' !laid th:e yiomanls.jare. Slm tried to
thank him but he begifir 411..-"froi to think
of it, for said he. 4.1 charge all such ac;
counts ivitii,(l•.d. ....He and I have a long
running •peenunt.".
Hope brightens up the darkest hour.
862.
-Toasts and Sentiments:
May-the polar - star of hope guide us
through the sea of misfortune.
May- the jewel of sincerity enlighten
every breast. '
May the blossom of hope never be bligh
ted. •
May the tongues of our friends be the
index of their hearts.
May the spark of love but brighten into
the flame.
May Hymen never join those hinds
whose hearts are divided:
May virtue increase her exports'and im
ports, and may vice become a bankrupt.
May wisdom be the umpire, when plea
sure gives the prize.
.May we be ignorant of the arts of dig-.
sunclation.
May our vices never rise up against us
in their native deformity.
May e never endure the pangs of guilt
or the vexation of calamnity.
May disappointment never reach us
when we stand in need of support.
Miy our minds have no burthen, and,
futurity no terrors.
May no worse day we have to see, be
equalled by the best we have ever seen.
May'Ore bueof affection be ripened by
the sun-shine of sincerity.
Max we never have a fox too cunning
nor a Pitt too deep.
May those who seek to injure the op
pressed be rather confused with shamethtffi punished with revenge.
( May we never, by overleaping the '
"odds
of prudence tresspass -on the boson) of
liiendship.
May strife and discord be banished !tom
seciety,_and true froodship be
,made per ,
petnal president.
May the laws of humanity.. be put in
force against the perpetrators of cruelty.
1176
_ „,t , e nor rime.
May the moments of mirth be regulated
by the dial pi reason.
Peace within our gates, plenty within
,hur dwellings, truth in our statesmen, pie,
ty in our pastors, patriotism in our presi•
dents, virtue in our senators, and industry
to the people, to the end of the World.
Are the Planets Inhabited?
Are the' planets inhabited? The tele
scope cannot Shim the inhabitants of the
moon to the people of Lori - ]t on far the
.same reason that it cannot show them the . ,
inhabitants of Edinburg; their eyes are not
made to see so far.- Mars, the planet near
est the earth, is 50,000,000 of miles away
from it, and the 'telescope can bring it near;
and place it within a distance of 90,000
miles. Herr Madler, of Berlin, has seep
,fe ik
the mo e tains, continents and polar snows
of M cs with the periodical play of light
anteshade.upon them. The sun is a vast
and fierce furnace. The valleys of the
moon are colder than our polar regions ;
the comets are floating masses of vapor;
and the planetoid or asteroid are so small
that our telescopes fail to show us any
thing certair.'about them. The sun, moon,
comets and asteroids, we may conclude,
the l..'
n are not inhabited by living organ
isms: But the planets with alternations
of day and night, of heat and cold, their
atmosphere, .the different weights or bodies
upon their surfaces, a numerous series of
striking analogies with the earth, seem
proved to be_the_abode_of—different—forms-,
of life. The,,organizatmns of life vary to
suit a great variety of physical circumstan
ces upon the globe, and with a reasonable
allowance for modifications, there appears
to be a moral certainty that they possess,
and exhibit vegetable and animal, as well
mineral products.'
On Monday last, in Schoykili county.,
Pa a frame dwelling occupied by a miner
named 'Thomas Connell, was destroyed by
fire. and horrible to relate, himself, wife,
four childreri, a male boarder and a sirtivarit
girl, eight persons, pt rished in the flames.
The bodies were so horribly burned that
a small bed quilt covered all that remained
of eight persons.
In - E - Fmr - TRE - Scu - a-rmrEsT - - - -Ta - ke-fresh-,
slacked lime, and duet the affected parts
well with it twice a day. It will not cause
the horse any uneasiness, and will be sure
to effect'a cure in a - few days.
111==1
if 'you want to gain any man's good o•
pinion, take particular care how you be
have ,the first time you are in company
with him.. The. light 5011 .appear in,at
first, to one wito is neither inOinsidpklA
think well or ill of you, will stsongly:pre
judice.hitrk either for or agaknat you , >
Don't let your children ;learn'grtod and
bad things indiscriminately. To be . sure
the bad might be eradicated in' after years,
built is easier to. Sow clean seed thin to
cleanse dirty wheat.
Poverty is it less evil 'than dishonor;
and a peaceful irtmecience is chiefly - . pur :
chased with. the- Joss of every worldly , ad
vantage.
Men are ofte.i rattled by the 'Weiiht ' of
theirgreatnessc as • if tree: : hea'viiji•
with fruit, torakatek.owir'bintglis. •'
Books are embalmed- irtinds.• Faille is a
Hower upon a dead man's•heart.
( . 3hildren,always •turn ~te w ard th e light.
0 that, grown up people in this would be
come like liPle,ellilitrent• „ , ,
Snyelylkail thu 4— w'nflir must-be Wind;
they can sSinytliing..unless . it'glitters..
Theancienta:dria.ded. 4er•atb; the Champ
tion can only tear -• •
- To turn. brat's , mar
wortitiess•sell to au heiress. -
$1.50 Pezi Annum, in Achttinee
11111 M
The Philadelphia ilielletiil leartie ficim
excellent authority- that during the recent
vistit of the Finance Committee of the
Philadelphia Board of Trade, to Washing
ton,ati informal visit was paid to President
Lincoln, by whOin the committee was re
ceived with all his well known affability
and cordiality. Encouraged by the Pres
ident's open manner, one of the members
of the committee made bold to attack him
directly upon the topic nearest his own
heart, When'the 'following dialogue ensu-
"Mr. President, I ivish you would tell
me where the. Burnside expedition has
gone."
• ••Why. don't you know where .they
have gone! I thought everybody knew
that."
“Well, sir, it May ap‘pear Very igno=
rant in me,but I must confess 1 don't know,
and that I would like to know exceeding
.
. •IYOu . really surprise rrie, sir. The pa
pers have been full of it; eve rybody has
been talking of it, and I did not suppose
there was an) body wKo k ,did not know all
about it. Of course I will tell you if you
will-promise not to give Your authority.'”
The gentleman promised solemnly. The
with, his hand carefully interp — oWed between
hitn - and,therest - of the company, whiz=
pered, with mysterious emphasis, "The
Burnside expedition has gone to sea!"
A Niono's ACCOUNT OF THE WILDCAT
RETREAT.-A gentleman whose.siave ac
companied a young Confederate officer an
the Wildcat expedition, asked the daikey
on his retuin to Nashville, how long the
army was on 'the march from its encamp.
ment to the battle-field. 'About fouidaYs,'
was the reply. "Well, how long were
they in• marching back?" "About two
days, massa.'' t‘W for, how is that Joe?
Could they travel faster back when they
were broken down with four days march
and a n severe fight, than they traveled for !
ward, after a good rest in canip?"
'.Oh I'll tell you what made the differ
ence, macula,' .said old Joe; -tit — was the
music. They marched toward Wil'aeat to
the tune of Dixie. Whenmittek marched
back, the tune was, , "Fire in the mountains
—run, boys, run!"
A :Gonp PACKER.- The Washington
correspondent of the Bridgeport Standard
writes :
Our hotels are full.. An officer, on ask
ing for his bill a few daYS ago, found that
a quart of wine 'was cbarged, whert - he - had
but a pint, He took exceptions to the
items. Landlord was incorrigible—said
there never any mistake acour the . wine
bills. Officer paid it an went to his room
- to — pn - ck - figs carpet bag. Having' made
purcLases his bag was too full, to get in an
extra pair of boots. Landlord dent • foi--
eanie. Says the officer, ‘.l can't get thesi
boots, sir, into this blained hag."
Landlord—"lf you can't I'M sure I
can't."
Offider--o"Yes you can; for a man whii
can put-a quart of wine in a pint boitile
can put those boots in that bag." - -
Landlind cancelled the Whole bill and
returned the amount.
SLIDELL'S DAUOILTER
The girl stood on the steamer's deck
'While men in arms staid thick around,
And from) Jacinto's threatening sides
A score of cannon on her frowned.
She bade them leave her father there—
She - challenged - them - to -- do - berhurt—
She madly 'laid her bosom bare, ' •
And fearfully exposed her—shirt!
6, 1 dont miss my,chureli as much aeyou
may suppose," said a lady to her minister,
who cared on her during i►er ifiness';` , Gfor
make Betty sit at the vvindOw as soon as
the bells begin to chime, and she tells me.
wj►o are going to church, and whether they
have en adything . ,
The oldest fire-mina 'are thea - ima , of
ardent young lady. We, may, add, in'a
whisper, that they are frequently the most
dangerous.. ,
The editor the - gifcieft:e Siiitineidoes
not boast of the size of Wi3coniin'bibies,
but says •• they are 'an •uneoutinaon,' surd
eropd's,
VVhy is lighting the gia . for, a lady like
helping her'from a carriage?--Beeisee are
asstst her to alight.
A shopkeeper in' ica'Qrnraeadingi a pica .
of ghods to ajladf, remarked: •
- ••Madam. it wilt wear forever, and make
Et. &raj, rate petOcoat afterwards.
- Mori only, doirgera in, they U. S. ormy-7-
Corn dodgers, • . •
it • •
A' yin roan butter k iteckedljt
least pteasint of alt kind of butterflies.
,
Why is a cannot! jest fi redlike a
i l i 4l
Pe4.V•49 1 / 1 .• t
the breech.:.
What!" hi arAftervi'7. oitkir-o• "mpflltp,
That p tteppMP on•
j , ; 'fil l4 ; 7 4 :V
.; AJ 1 1.'4:4
.}.At
- NO. 50
Lincoln's Lasi. JOke.
..e
..ii.
4. .R. _J.~