A MODEL WITNESS.
Showed Such Ability that Even the
Judge Extended Congratulations.
The Opposing Counael What la
your namet
The Witness (appealing to the
Judge) Am I obliged to answer tbla?
The Judge You are.
The Witness My name la Todgers.
"First name?"
"I decline to answer."
"On what groundT"
"It would be construed Into a reflec
tion on the good taste of my parents."
"Where were you bornf"
"I decline to anawer."
WhyT"
, "Because all my Information on the
subject Is of the hearsay character."
"But you were there at the time?"
"I decline to admit It."
"What la your ageT"
"Before answering I deftlre to con
sult with my attorneys."
"What Is your ostensible business?"
"I do not remember."
"Are you In any way connected with
the Ramrod Trust?"
"I do not remember."
"What is Its capitalisation?"
"I do not remember."
"What is your salary?"
"I do not remember."
"Are you married?"
"I do not remember."
The Judge The hearing will now
be adjourned until ten o'clock to-mor
row morning. And I want to congratu
late the opposing counsel on the
marked progreaa they have made In
advancing the case.
HA8 NUMEROUS SUBJECTS.
Census Taker Are you subject to
any sovereign or potentate?
Muldoon No, sorr; Ol'm subject to
nothln' but malaria!
Cool and Correct.
Professor Robert Herrick, of the
University of Chicago, dosired to
point out to a young sonneteer the
difference between the words "aston
ish" and "surprise."
"Noah Webster," Professor Herrick
said, "was once caught by his wife In
the act of pressing the hand of the
pretty cook.
"The cook, blushing like a rose, fled
at once to her kitchen. Mrs. Webster
said In a sad, tremulous voice:
" 'Why, Noah, I am surprised.'
"But the philologist looked from
over his glasses at his wife and an
swered reprovingly:
'"Madam, you have not studied our
glorious language aa you should. It's
I who am surprised. You are aston
Ished.' "
Not Caught Up.
A man who was traveling the Ozark
mountains on horseback Btopped he
fore a typical Arkansas farmhouse to
Inquire the way. "What's the news?"
asked the mountaineer, as be leaned
his lank frame against the fence and
pulled his long beard thoughtfully.
On finding that what had become a
part of history was news to him, the
traveler asked why be did not take
some weekly or monthly periodical,
that he might keep In touch with the
world at large.
"Wal," said the old native, '"when
my pa died, nine years ago, be left
me a stack of newspapers that high"
Indicating a height of about three feet
"and I ain't done readln' of 'em yet."
Soft Landing. -It
was In 1920 and tramps were
riding on the bumpers of airships.
"Boss," said the dusty pilgrim of
the clouds, "of yer must t'row me off,
would yer mind doing me one fswor?"
"And wbat is that?" asked' the
aerial brakeman, gruffly.
"Why, drop me down on top of dat
farmhouse shed where all dem rows of
apple pies are cooling."
A Fatal Squint.
A woman with a fatal squint came
to a fashionable portrait painter.
lie looked at ber and she looked at
him, and both were embarrassed,
lie spoke first
"won't you permit me," he said, "to
take your portrait h profile? There
la a certain ahyneas about one of your
eyes which la aa difficult in art as it Is
fastinatlng In nature."
From the Depths.
"Now, Johnny' asked the gentle
man, who has kindly consented to
teach tie class, "what does this fas
cluatlag story of Jonah and the whale
teach us?"
"It teaches us," said Johnny, "that
you cannot keep a good man down."
Gossip's Surprise.
"I heard somebody say something
about Bell Smith yesterday."
"Oh, fine! What?"
"Nothing bad enough to repeat
dear."
First Boarder What kind of duck
la this, Jim? Canvas bark?
Bucond Boarder Mock duck.
Derivation of Money.
The word "niouey" is derived from
"mor.eta," a came given by the Ro
mans to their silver pieces, because
coined In a building on tile t'apltollne
11111 attached to the temple of Jupiter
tloneta. The officer in charge of the
ntint were called triumviri mouteales,
and Nlebuhr thinks that they were In
troduced at the time when the Romans
firm began to coin silver.
ctr:
liis Destined Hour
'
Along the vernnda. like a guilty
wretch, John Arden crept. The cur
tain was ralBed a little and through
the interstice a pleasant scene revr di
ed Itself. Yes, they were all there, aa
he bad pictured to his Jealous soul
many a time In the (ar away land from
whence he hnd come.
Ruth, his wife, their child, his rhal,
Dan Weston, and the bnby on his
knee. He had known how It wo.Md
be. Soon as he was forgotten we. 1-
He turned away the 1I(;!ih In-ida
dazzled him, and sight of the harpy
group in the cosey little sitting 100:11
somehow clutched hl6 heart with con
firmation of the horrible dread he had
nurtured for years.
It 'whs dark outside dark anrl hit
terly cold. A wicked curse Just iivm-
i)led on his tonptto, then died, over
whelmed by the wave of self-condemnation
thnt swept his soul. Hack Inta
the night he Bped, back, back to i!ic
dimly lighted streets of the little vil
lage that had been his home bo lovg
ago.
At the door of the vIIHro store
and postomce he halted. Not one of
the group recognized In the jiHlr'.i'-'
aged, bearded, sun-burned man, tii-j
John Ardeo they had known as a
slender, youthfuV fellow, too enro'pi
and happy go lucky for his own good
"Can you tell me; friends," he c.iu.d
crispy, "when 1 can get a train to
Boston ?"
"Not to-night." The reply r?" u
from the sturdy storekeeper. "I.'-)
trains go after 6 o'clock. You'll hv
to put up for the night."
Curiosity Impelled him to step in
side. He wanted to know how it had
fared with all his old friends Dime
last he saw them. He walked oer
to the stove and held out bis hands to
the grateful warmth.
"Stranger In these parts?" The
storekeeper eyed the elesunce of his
attire askance. "Yes," briefly.
"What might your business be?"
"Planter In Bermuda. Here for a
little vacation. I used to be acquaint
ed some around here."
"What might your name be?"
"John Smith." A funny twinklo In
his eye warned the genial storelieei -er
of the limitations of curiosity ami
he became Instantly a reservoir o.
volubility for the stranger's benetlt.
"Anyone in particular you remeu;-
ber?"
"Well lust a few. You, for In
stance, and Squire Mason, and a few
others. I Bay, who lives In that old
fashioned house, brick with grecj
blinds. Just down the street from
here?"
"That? Oh, that's the old Wal'nn
place. Dan Weston 'n his family It v
Ing there now. Married one of tiu
Walton girls, you know." The stranc
er smiled ruminntlvely.
"Yes. Wasn't there a fellow by tin
name of Arden who used to han;..
around there some If I remenilu-i
rightly?"
"Yes. A shiftless, no good crl'.te"
Tried first oue thing and then another,
Never made good at anything. H
married one of the Walton girls, was:,
ed the money her father left her, I.
wildcat schemes, and Anally was bum
ed up In a theatre, out West some
where."
"Indeed!" The stranger smiled s
little. "Good way to dispose of a bai
penny. And bis widow, with care
leBS Interest, "she married again
didn't she?"
"Oh, no." The storekeeper chewed
prune reflectively. "That's the fr.n
ny part of It. Much as he robbed he
of, shiftless and wasteful aa he wan
she never lost faith in him. S
thought he was perfect, and slw
mourns him yet She lives on."
there," Jerking a sticky thumb bacli
ward, "with her sister and Djin We
ton. In the 01a place, un, no,
sh
didn't marry. I say, stranger!"
But John Arden was half way dowi
the street on his way to tell her, win
had been faithful, that he still lived
that he had dropped out of sight, aftci
the great tire, because the sight of hi
name In the list of missing hal in
spired him with an easy solution
the difficulties Into which he had In
volved the girl who loved h'.n
through mismanagement and 111 luck
Then, too, he had been Jealous Ira
oua of Dan Weston, his more prosper
ous rival, and he had meant to 1
dead to her, to allow her to be happ
where she loved. Now all thnt wa
changed. He was hurrying down th
narrow little street Just to tell he
how he had Bucceeded In the far awn
country that it was all hers, that he
faithfulness should be rewarded h
the devotion of the remainder of hi
life to hers.
On the veranda he paused. Throng
the Interstice of the raised curtain h
regarded the little group throi'g
changed eyes. Then, "(iod bless the
all," he murmured, as he pressed th
tiny electric button.
Hurrying feet came down the r.
a flood of released light engulfed Mm
her eyes met his, and henceforth th
was no darkness for him, anywhere I
the wide world, only the radiance o:
her eyes her smile. MISS A.
PRATT.
To enable airship pilots to hol
their course the Imperial Observator
at WUhelmshaven has bad devised h
Dr. Billlnger a "duplex compass.
which Is described as a "delicate 1ml!
cator of the horizontal Intensity of th
eartfi's magnetism at any point" Ob
servatlons with the Blmple needle an
difficult, because of the whirling mr.
tlons of balloons running before th
wind. The duplex Is not affected Lj
these and other motions usual to bal
loon ships.
Temptations of Evil.
Leisure misused, an Idle hour watt
ing to be employed. Idle hands with no
occupation, Idle and empty minds with
nothing to tblnk of these are the
main temptations of evil. Fill up that
empty void, employ those vacant
hours, occupy those listless hands, and
evil will depart because it baa n
place to enter in, because It is cot
quered by ood.Cean Stanley.
ACCOMMODATING NIOHT CLIKK.
TJp to the night clerk's desk goes
Abe Perlmutter, a Chicago traveling
man. "I wonder," he Bays, "could you
find me somebody to play a game of
penuchle for an hour or two to-nlg'n? '
"Why." says the clerk, "I guess so.
nd he runs his eyes over the reg st'r.
Boy," he calls, "page Mr. U'twlillg."
Before long Mr. OutwilHg is round and
Introduced to the penuchle hungry
Perlmutter, and a game Is arranged.
How did you know I played
penucble?" Mr. Oiitwillig asks the
clerk. "Oh" begins the clerk. Just
then emerges from the bar a young
man, triple-piled with wine. He staj
geis up to the desk and says. "Shny,
wanna fight! D ye hear? I in look
1' f'r a scrap!"
Thus the clerk, "Boy, page Mr.
Kelly and Mr. O'Brien."
1
Topty Turvey.
The plaintiff hud been Btriick by sn
automobllo, which had hurried on
without Btopping. but as he managed
to catch the number of the car he had
the owner summoned to court. The
defendant claimed that his car had
not been out of the garage on the day
In question.
"If you were struck and thrown up
the air, as yon claim, how could
you make out the number before the
car got out of sight ?" he ssked.
I caught a glimpse of It Just as I
came down," answered the plaintiff.
Ha. ha!" laughed the defendant,
turning to the Judge. "I see how the
mistake was made. The number of
my car Is 668. This man was stand
ing on his head at the time. The
number of the car that struck him Is
H99."
Asking Too f'i'Ch.
The mother of little six-year-old
Mary had told her a number of times
nut to hitch her sled to passing
sleighs, feeling that It was a danger
ous practice. It was s'ich a fascinating
sport, however, that Mary could not
resist It, find one day her' mother saw
her go BkimiTi'.ng pav,t the house be
hind a farmer's "hob."
When she came in from play she
was taken to tnst:, hrr trother say
ing severely, "Mary, hve-a t I to;d you
that you must not hitch onto bob3?
Besides, you know It Is against the
law."
Mary tossed her head. "Oh," she
said, "don't talk to ire about the law.
It's all 1 can do to keep the Ten Com
mandments!" A Human Choice.
A conscientious Sunday school
teacher had been endeavoring to Im
press upon her pupils the ultimate tri
umph of "goodness over beauty. At
the close of a story In which she flat-
teied herself that this point hnd been
well established, she turned confident
ly to a 10-year-old pupil and Inquired:
And now. Alice, which would you
rather be, beautiful or good?"
"Well," replied Alice, after a mo
ment's reflection, "I think I'd ratber
be beautiful and repent."
WHY, CERTAINLY NOT.
"What's the next train to Squee
duck?" "Twelve o'clock."
"Un't there one before that?"
"No; we never run one before the
next"
Just a Little Exercise.
The elevator conductor of a tall of
fice buildtng, noticing that the colored
Janitor had ridden up with him sev
eral times that morning, remarked:
"Sam, this is the fifth time I have tnk
en you up, but' you have not come
down with me." "Well, you see.'"
Sam replied, "Ah been waahln' win
dows on de 'leventb floor and every
now and agin' Ah mises man hold and
falls out."
School of Experience,
Joynes I tell you. Singleton, you
don't know the Joys and felicities of a
contented, married life, the happy
flight of years, the long, restful calm
of
Singleton How long have you been
married?
Joynti Just a month.
"So your wife Is a suffragette?"
"Yes," answered Mr. .Meckton.
"Why does she want to vote?"
"I don't think Henrietta really de
sires to vote. She's merely tired of
talking to me. SJie wants a larger
and more Intelligent audience."
Not the Same.
Mrs. Riverside Do you like Nazi
mova? Neurlch Well, ma'am, I never eat
any of these new-tangled bieakfasl
foods, so I can't aay.
The Real Struggle.
"I suprcse, now that you are mar
ried and settled down, life is a strug
gle for bread."
"Not exactly. It's more of a Strug
gle with bread "
In the Last Analysis.
"Pop!"
"Yes, my son."
"What Is an ultimate consumer?"
"Oh, the ultimate consumer, my
boy, is the one that ge:s the hash."
Once.
Strangvr Did you ever reveal yrjr
fishing hole to a friend.
Angler Once I did to a friend oa
his deathbed.
'ci,., , ., ac-.: ...arrr-rrrac
Fluffy
" g . 11 ;
Fluffy stole illcntly alcng the ten of
the board f. nee until chc waa over : 10
Ilttlo fihanty where tho curling! e:-as
were kept. T'-en she crourhej do .n
to listen, fear'vlly, while the dis e '1
cd pupil of livr eyes glov-od h-ly it
and round In the moonlight, uni ! - r
toft, do vny f-:r failed to conceal t .e
gauninesa of her lank s'tlos.
After a r.'on:ent Fluffy droni ej
I'ghtly to the top of the s'lan y, a;.d
then paused daintily. The odor of
the garbage cans was overpnweriiis;,
and the bond:; were wet with dev.
She raised one little pink paw
I then. the other, to stand on three fct
and consider tlio situation.
There was the Montgomery's back
yard, sir ho-ises down the aventie. b't
thnt meant p.'ss'ug where that aw Ml
dog livf d. Yet r.here wm'e lovely, h'-n-gry
smells from that direction. Ai d
FlufTy felt perfectly sn"o thit If she
only dared vcutrre down the dink
areaway and across the avtuje 118c, f
there wnl'M bo rome'.hir.g r od to et
there. Perhaps even so;ue of !-:e
sweet cream iu a re,,lly cicii nui'r
that once - oh. such a long time n:;o!
ured to be Kii-ffy's v. her,ever alio
wanted It.
But an empty stomach Is Its own
sauce, and at lost nuy r ipped to
the ground and proceeded to d'na
from the tliiiiKJ iali'.s -Mnl H.-etaVors
had thrown away. For Fii.ffy w.-s hun
gry. She had fttrlod lor t .- o be
cause someone h:id been car-'ul
enough the n'ght before to put the
covers on Ihe cans.
It was not at all an eppetlslng foist.,
and It was not long before luly had
enough and ws bcK on the leY.ce.
Thio.igh the. w'..o!e ot her dainty, dirt-
hating, cle".n'.lnpai:-lov!cg dUf osit on
Fin fty longed to sit first riosvn thou
and there and perform her toilet, but
that would not be rMe. mi :.he t-ore.'
along the fence top to t'-ie corner, and
then to tho hulkherd. The lust le v
feet were a d i3h 1j n fi t ay of feir.
Just as a child Will wall slowly
through a dark room and then run
desperately when near the d.mr.
Through the tiny lio'e FluiTy slip
ped, into the little hollow next the
damp eart4i, where she had made be;
home for, oh, such a long, weary
time! .
There was one pleasure left In life.
Fluffy could dream of those happy
days as she sat with half-closed eye4
and delicately washed her face and
combed her fur. It used to be such fun
to do this, more like play than a duty
but now Fluffy had to pause every few
minutes to rest.
That was partly becaute of the lit
tle silver collar of which Fluffy was
onre so proud. On It waa engraved
"To Fluffy from Alice." Alice was
Fji ffy's mistress. It seemed such
long time since everyone had been
running around, putting things In
botes and trunks, and then Flui.y had
been put out of doors and everyone
had gone away.
It must be a mistake somehow. Per
haps Fluffy was only dreaming, and
soon she would wake and find herself
In Mistress Alice's lap. But Just then
Fluffy did wake, and she was on the
damp ground. There were some aw
(ill rumbles and crashes over her
head, and In an agony of fear Fluffy
d.ished out through the little bole and
re awy. It was a blight day out
side, and some men In a team wore
putting big blnck rocks lnlo a long
thing, down which they rumbled and
clattered into the basement of th
house.
Fluffy didn't stop to watch. With
her tall standing up straight and every
bit of the soft fluffy fur for which she
was named, ruffled, she raceii down
the walk to the avenue. Not until she
wa In the middle of the avmuo Itsel
d'd Fluffy pause, and then It was the
hoarse bark of an automobile horn
that made her crouch down, too pura
lrd by fear to move.
The brakes ground onto the axles,
but It was too late: at last Fluffy ha J
found peice.
In another moment the only occu
pant f the heavy touring car, a clean
cut, level-eyed young man, had sprung
out and ran back to the pitiful little
huddle la the roadway.
"Poor little pussy," he said, and
then when he saw the soft fur anl
gaunt sides he muttered: "I don't
know, though; I guess It's lucky pus
sy. The old story, a pampered pe
through the winter and then Its mis
tress gone away to enjoy the summe
and leaves the erstwhile pet to starve.
Hang It! a girl like that Is not fit for
any mau's wife."
Then he gave an exclamation of
surprise as he noticed the little sliver
collar. In another instant the man
In the roadway had caught up the
broken, pitifully thin little body and
read. "To Fluffy from Alice."
"Fluffy! Alice!" he gasped. "Alice
like that!"
Then his face hardened. "Well, I'm
glad I knew In time," he said and with
a sudden impulse tenderly laid the lit
tle body on the cushioned seat In th
tonneau and covered It gently with
the dust robe.
"Fluffy shall be properly burled.
anyway," he said as be climbed into
his seat and released the brake and
threw in the clutch.
But flrs he slowly drew a letter
stamped and ready for the post, from
his pocket, tore It up and dropped th
pieces In the dust MABEL ft CAD
THOMPSON.
Humorist's Wife John. Its so
sweet of you to ask dear mat her here
to visit
Humorist Yes you see the fact Is
Mar'e. I've about run out of mother In
law's Jokes, and
Curing a Cynic.
The best wav to cure a cynic Is to
(ell him the truth.
Nine times out of ten he will bac!
Jowu and say he doesn't believe
things are as bad as that.
Woman's Instinct
"He has succeeded ever since b
took hit wife Into the business."
"Yes: the first thing the did was to
take the was-, ai mall a possible.
PREPARED.,
Witness Was Forehanded and th
Lawyer Accepted Defeat. I
' The propensity of some lawyer to
ask witnesses questions not only Irre
levant but bordering on the absurd
must have been known to a humorous
fellow called as a witness In a Buffalo
court recently. His testimony had
been clear and direct the entire case
was simple. In tact but the lawyer do
ing the cross-examination began an
apparently endless string of ques-1
tlons.
"Now, exactly how far were you
from the post to which the horse waa
hitched remember, you are on your
oath!"
"Nineteen feet, seven and three-
quarter Inches," the witness respond
ed promptly.
You seem very sure of the exact
distance." tho lawyer sneered. "How
do you know yo-i wore Just that dis
tance from tho r-o-t?"
Well," the witnn.-.s replied In a
good-natured tone, "knowing that I'd
be called as a witness In this case, and
thinking it likely some fool lawyer
would ask me Just that question, I
measured It"
Step down!" the lawyer growled.
A MISUNDERSTANDING.
5ff
Fond Mother To be quite f-Rnlc,
doctor, the poor girl has been e -ling
her heart out
Brusque Old Physlelnn Ha! When
will young people learn to eat pru
dently?
Church and Stable.
The new clergyman In a l'ttla
Southern town wsb an elderly an1 un
sophisticated man, Ignorant of ths
fact that among his flock- were man
horse-ralsoi-s. At the request of one
of his deacons, prayers .were offerel
on three successive Sundays for Lucy
Gray. On the fourth Sunday he was
told that the prayers might be o.nl
ted. "She Is not deal, I hope," raid
the clergyman. "No," was the riply;
"she has won."
He Returned It.
"And so you have qusrreled "'U'l
your girl, nnd It Is all off?" asked Aud-
erson of Gray.
'Yes, she Iisb sent back all my
presents. But I got even with he.
bad no presents to return, so I rent
her a half dozen boxes of face po der,
with a note explaining that I'd ti.'.ten
about thnt much home on my coat
since 1 had known her."
Just a Theory.
ProfosBor Suppose an Irresls ibli
force encountered an Immovable bJy,
what would be the result?
Student I don't know exactly, but
I Imagine It would be something like
the meeting of two rival Arctic
plorers.
Frills.
Mrs. Crabshaw The new girl
have said she had taken a course in
domestic Br'nce.
Mrs. Crawford Is she dlfferen'
from the other girls you had?
Mrs. Crabshaw Only In one wr.y
she wanted five dollars a month more.
A Will and A Way.
The law class was studying wills.
"Young gentlemen," said the In
structor, "I will give you one maxim
that every lawyer needa, 'Whore
there's a will there's a way' to break
It"
Class dismissed.
C. Q. D.
Wantod A young gentleman on
Uie point OI ujarryiui; n luvmjr g i
Is most desirous of meeting with
man of experience who will take tho
responsibility of dissuading him fro:
this dangerous step.
Cause for Surprise.
Belle Mr. Hugglns started to kls
me last night
Deu 1 ah And wcren t you s n
prised ?
Belle I should say I was. He did
do itl
A Fair Offer.
Cook And ses I, "I think I'll
flu
another Job."
Friend What did the missus sa
Cook Sbe ses, "Bedad an' OI'
give you twenty-five dollars when ye
lave If yes don't go!" Brooklyn Life
Valuable Collateral.
Dyer How long hare you bad your
butler?
Hyei- Twenty-fiva years.
Dyer Where did you get him?
Ryer From the Duke de Broke as
security for a loan.
He Knew the Facte.
The Btranger (triumphantly) Four
acea, old son.
Bhufnlng Pet (gloomily) All
right; take the mosey. But IU be
shot If that was the hand I dealt you.'
A Test for Eyeelght.
An Interesting test for eyesight
may be bad by observing Ursa Major
the Great Bear on a clear starlit
night Not everyone Is aware that
Miiar, the second star In the constel
lation. Is a double star. To observe
this doublet demands good vision.
Boxe starry night look up to the sky
and see If you caa dlscera It .11 you
do ses It you caa rest content la Us
knowledge that your ayealght li got
4tevUve,
Tho
1 New
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entbusiacMetaductetHor MODEftftTC Fees.
iOt'ROrricciOPtOBircU,0. Pt -HTOrriet ;
lat4weClDWCU- paU-lltlU lUM IbAA U-OftC ,
re. oto from Vitunetua.
, Scad model, dr.iwiug or photo., with detcrtp- ;
1 1 Ion. We advise, if paten tabla or nut. fr.e ot ,
barge. Our fee not due Uil oalent la secured. m
A PaMPMLCT, l0 to Obtain rtcuu." wlth
vt iaue in the U b. una lorruga cv(ntS
sent free. Atldress,
C.A.SNOW&CO.
Of.. OrriCC. WHlflOTOrt. D C
Physicians have long been look in?
for a harmless headaohn onre. It
tins been produced by an eminent
chemist of the National (Capital. It
is knon as Buomo Pkimin. Bestbea
cm int. every form of headache
0antly, Bromo Pepsin is equally
and ai promptly efficacious iu
chronic and aaute indigestion and
the nervous disorders incident there
o. It is efferoscent and pleasant
to take and may be had of all up to
date druggists at ten cents a battle.
It comes as boon to mankind am.
womankind. For sals at C. O.
Armstrong, Druggist.
60)rt6)6Sat64ft4
' NOTICE.
The Conimiseoners of Pike County
will hereafter hold Regular Meeting!'
he 1st Thursday of eiK-h inn. between
the hours of 9 a. m. and 4 r. 111. except
ins In the months when Court may
be in session, and then during Court
THKO. II. BAKEH
Cuiinulsal -nera Clerk
absolutely HarailtM. Curst ts at Spot
BR0M0-PEPS1N
Xote the Word Pepsla"
CURES
HEADACHE, S EEPUSSNESS
INDIGESTION 6 NERVOUSNESS
AM Druggists
100, a aa a too.
for tale by C. O. Akmstiuino, Drugglm
WANTS SUPPLIED ! 1
If yon want note boads. bill hi-ads, lette
heads, statements, show cards, progra ns
large posters, sale blllt, dodger envelupos
togs business cards or job printing
every description, doue up in the bet styl
foi you in an up-to-date Mnd artlstio ma i
neronJlsnd see us. Prions?
PRESS PRINT.
J. C. CHAMBERLAIN
Real Estate Agent.
House end Lots and lota without Hons
Dcaier In all kinds of Property.
fiotary Public
ALL BUSINESS GIVEN
PROMPT ATTENTION
Office at Residence on
Water Street.
A in
'i r
Doth U
these
papers p
one I,
year f
for b
only i
YEAR
N. Y.
Time Table
ERIE RAILROAD.
fi T
PORT JERVI3
tolld Pullmn trains to Buffalo, Nla
an Fallc, Chautauqua Laks, Clerdaod
Chicago aud Cincinnati.
Tickets on tale at Port J all
poloti In the Wert and Snnthweatat lowat
rati than via any other first-olaas llae.
In cfftxjt June 21th, 1908.
Thains Now Lkavs Pokt Jkrvis a
Follows.
B I P V t
" 48, Dolly 4 if "
0 Ually Kxpress t 40 "
W, Loonl Ezoopt Sunday.. 10 "
41 Holfduya only a so .
No 8, Dnl'iy Kznreaa s &4 1. u
' 70S!, Way 8undy Only Ml "
" 43, Local oeitSun a Hol T IM "
' 80, IjooiU Kxorpt Bunday.. 10 M
" 4. Dally Eipicu.... I.Mr. M.
" 704. Hunday Only I to "
84. Way dnlly exo't Suad'y I ft) '
' 9, Dally Kxpress Itl "
8, Way dally exo't flund'y l.M "
" T(M. LooM Sunday Only.... T.l "
WESTWARD. -
No 7, Dally Express It Hi 11
" 47, Dally K
' 17 Dally Milk Train i 10 a
' I. Dally Kxpress .' It.M '
" 115, For Ho'dnleK'pt Sun.. 11. IS r.
" t, Express Chicago II in dal B '
89, Dally Except Sunday.. 4 00 4
" . Limited Dally Express. 10 06
Trains leave Chambers street, Mew
York, for Port Jervls on week days at
1.80, 7 16. 15, 10 80 A. II., 1.00
100, 4 80, 0.1ft, 7.16, 9.15 18.46 r. M.
On 8undtys, 7. 30, a. M
19 W). 1.16 7 80,9.16 r. M.
H. L. SLArsON. Ticket At, Pt.JervIa
H. W.Hawley,
Dlv'n Passer. Agent.
Chambers St. Station New York
William B. Kenwcthay U. 0
Physician and Snrgeon.
OQoe and reslditnoe Broad H treat
text Court House. MILKOUI).
For Rent
Famished rooms to rent. Enquire
of Mrs. E'-tu Poillon, Corner Broad
and Ann Kiroets, Mllford, Pa.
His Ailn-ert.
"When n-.y husband is . In good
heulth," said Mrs. Irs'.ng, "he's as
cheerful and as happy as anybody;
but Juat lit him eat something thnt
doesn't egree with him, and every
thing looks t'.ooxy. When his liver
la out of order he's the worst pesky
mist you ever saw."
Necessity.
The hostcsB Vtant, do you hav to
leave at this early hour?
The Gueat I'm sorry, but lt'e noo
esaary. The Hostess And must you take
your wife with you?
The Quest Yea, ma'am; I'm aotry
to aay I muat
6our Grape.
"To-morrow will be n y birthday,
remarked the typwrltr maid, "and
I'm going to take a day off."
"Huh!" sneered the bookketMer,
who bad loved and lost. "Why don't
you take Ave years off as you did the
last time you bad a birthday?" .
He Knew Where He Was Goino.
The family of a Philadelphia U'tla
boy were planning to move to Chicago
The night before the departure, he
aid bit usual prayer and ended It
with:
"And bow, good by, God we are
going to Chicago to-rcorrow,"
you 5i
send
your
order j,
and p
money
to h
The IM
PRESS S
Mllford,
Pike j
County, :3
Penn. U
-