THE MILFORD STORE OF STORES ' Longest Established, Best Equipped FINEST LINE OF WINTER GOODS. 3:V.tU ii vjj'ii, ia:V:i, Uii, mns and childrns undrwar. Glovs, hosiry, boots and shoss. All the latest " styles and best materials for winter wear. A New Department A large assortment of Laces and Trimmings. A complete sto:k ol nuns furnishings. Finely stocked Grocery Depart ment. CrccVery and glassware direct from England. All of kliz aboVe at prices tliat' Will nqake it to your advantage to buy of MIT6IIELL BR0S. Bi?oad Stvzzb SBilford Pa -The- ..Quick Time Line.. The undersigned have entered into an arrangement to expedite passenger traffic to and from Port Jervis. Prompt service will be rendered and polite attention shown. In con nection they will conduct a general livery busi ness. Proprietors of Wells, Fargo express. Con nections here with Dingmans and points South. Findlay & Milford. Pa nr 3 FEED, MEAL, asr- IT 4 KILL the COUCH AND CURE THE LUNGS Dr. Kteg': WITH s tkxi Discovery eAn 4 4 a PBICK run c zxykF . tps OLDS Trtt Btu. Fret AND all THROAT AND LUNG TROUBLES, O U ARAM 'tk.ED 6ATI8FA0X0AS HARNESS Of All Kinds and Stylos. Blankets, Robes, Whips, and Horse Outfitting gen erally. CARRIAGE TRIMMINGS Repairing ;-NEATLVDONE Examine my stock it will please you. The price too. L F. IIAFNEK. Harford St. Milford A I mli-U Family. An old couple lu Ula&sow vera Id a very depressed state owing to dull trade. 1 musing tneir son m Amenta uld uelp them. tur vrr'e, slating their trouble, auu that If be did not help them they would bava to so to the pooruouko. Three weeks pa&sea, aDd tben came a letter from their i n, aa. :og: "Dear Milter and ralttitir Just wait aoither lortuulit an I'll cotoe hanie an' kat wi e. Your atcu )vt v." Wheeler, PROPRIETORS "BEST OF ALL FLOUR. BRAN. OATS, and HAY When in need of any Hello to No. 5., or come to SAWKILL MILL, MILFORD PA, Supplying The Table AN EVERY DAY PROBLEM We iiolve it by keeping Fine Groceries, Canned Goods, Choice Meats, Fresh Vegetables. FOR AN ELEGANT DINNER II rod appreciate good market in towla buy your (ik and clam at my plus. Limburger, imported Rsquelert Philadelphia Cream than r ujr alliart desired. FRED GUMBLE Harford St. Miltord Pa. The East Stroudsburg State Normal School is winning1 for it self an enviable reputation because of the SUCCESS of its Graduates. The fall term will open Aug. 31, 1908. For catalogue and special infor mation, address E. L KEMP, Principal ARE NOT GOOD WIVES COMKGE WOMIX DRCLAR.KD BT MKN TO BE MACl'IJE. ; A Discouraging IxH of Teettmowy to Thla Effect U Glrea by the Men Hot rtra.TDi Crvrn bf the Ten ti ll r.ra Are Many awl Various. ' ' Do college-bred woman make oo wives or do they notT A dlscourag Ing number of men lean to the aega tlve, If testimony gathered by Aa nette Austin and published la "Good Housekeeping" la to be taken aa re's resentatlve. The reasona given by the testifiers are many and various. "The college girl la too religious," eaya one man. "She la always push ing a spiritual hobby under your nose." "Too masculine," complains an other. "Not content to resemble a boy in tastea and disposition, kut must dress like htm." Of kindred mind la a third critic, "Hard, brainy, Bsty," ba terselyde scrlbes the college girl. "Resemble, a fourteen-year-old boy more tkaa anything In nature, and always will." A New York physician bring a number of counts against the college girl. "Inadaptable In the marriage relation," he says. "Her Intolerance la dlrocted especially against men. . . . Seclusion In college breeds a distorted Idea of marriage and. of the so relation In general, and It la to this crass Ignorance that much misery in the marriage relation la Iraoeable." Also, thla physician thinks she Is "too masculine. A woman has failed to fullfll her first duty to humatftty when she falls to be attractlre," he declares, "and the college-educated woman Is usually not attractive by roaBon of her masculine attitude to ward life." She Is too athletic, bis a "lumpy, clumsy way of moving about ... is slangy to a de gree, and even swears on occasion." AM' In all, the doctor thinks college girls are dreadfully-unladylike. - Another man, an author-physician, la even gloomier. "The tendency to withdraw Inte herself, to shun marriage and to seek a career, which is particularly notice able of the college-bred woman. Is a manifestation of a deep-seated ab normality, the result of a misdirected training In a freak Institution." That is only one of the things the author physician says. In particular he is bitter because a college girl he be llevas wouldn't marry a man who said "It's him." "No matter how worthy he may be as a man, how prosperous in busi ness, how amply suited to make her a good husband, that grammatical error removes him forever from any hope of eligibility to her hand," . Deafness. A deaf child is probably severing from adenolda, and should be ea amlned by a doctor, and. If aeces aary, operated on as soon as possibles The earlier such an operation Is Bee formed the better. It Is Quite a ansa one and not dangerous. Her 0 lnlen. He You don't relieve, then, that man descendedfrom the monkey t " She No. I tie not. I think It la more probable that hi descended from the frog, Judslna from his tendency to lump from one thing to anotnerl THE CAPTAIN'S LITTLE JOKE. Lieutenant Officer MoClubbe aver ages 25 arrests a day. Captain Ah. I aee; regular light, nlng arrester. A Reasoi.able Doubt Officials have a right to ask ques tions In the performance of their duty, but there are occasions when It seems as If they might curtail or fore go the privilege. Not long ago aa Irishman whose hand had been badly mangled in an accident entered the Boston City Hospital Relief Station In a great hurry. He stepped up to the man in charge and Inquired: "la this the Relief Station sorT "Yea What L. your name?" "Patrick O'Connor eor." "Are you married?" questioned the fTlcer. "Yla. aor. but a thla the Relief Sta, ton?" He waa nursing x band In ;gony. "Or course It la. How many ehiV Iren have you?" "Eight, sor. But sure, this la the Relief Station?" "Yes. It s." replied the official, trowing a little angry at the man's aerststence. "Wei.." aald Patrick, "sure, an' 1 was beginning tc think that It might e tbe punirlng-atatlonl" The Patient waa Improving. The following waa told of the pa tlent of a well-known New York phy sician: ' The patient, an elderly gentleman, became Quite ill while the doctor was absent upon a vacation, tbe lndisposl tlon being the result of too frequent potations. A female nurse was at once engaged to care for him In hla hotel. A lady, residing in the same botel. became aware o' his Illness, and In terested herself to tbe extent of one morning inquiring concerning hla con dltlon of the chambermaid. "Bhure, ma'aa." replied Maggie, "an' 1 think he ii be gettln' along very well. The nursi waa alula' an aU U tolg -mll'l- iTTrrir bimiI ' mm UKSGCCESSnH MUSIS What the Doctors Agreed oa lai Re gard to that Cough. The man's cough grew worse, a he resorted to the physicians. "From the stomach, I think." said Dr. SImtoin. 'pardon ma, there la no such thins aa a cough from the stomach, '( aa awored Dr. Uodern. "From tbe effects of vaccination, I ahould say," announced Dr. Nature. "Indeed," replied hie eolleague.Dr. Herum, "let me remind you that (ex cept tetanus, blood-poisoning ' and graft), there are no evil edectk of vaccination." "Well," aald Dr. Experiment. "It la not to be expected that we ahould all agreed " "On one thing we are agreed," cried Dr. Oetrox, "that la to charge Bve dollars apiece." ' But the widow refused to pay. ACCOUNTS FOR THE THIRST. 'He has a lot of dry humor, hasn't he?" "I guess he baa; at least It takes lots of wetting." - Oa to Canada! "Have the new advertising folders. ith the motto 'Strong as tbe Pillars yf Hercules,' been Issued?" asked tbe bank president- "A month agoat least," replied the confidential clerk- ' ' "With a picture of the new tlme saechanlsm, dynamite-proof, twemy ton safes?" "Yes, sir." 'And the namea of Senator O. Howe Ricbe and Rev, Tony Follows and Congressman T. Rust Knott as directors, insuring the safety of every seller deposited?" "All that has been attended to. sir." "And tbp returai from the fold. ?" The vau.ts are crammed to over sowing." "Tben yon may bring me the rail way time-tables, a lge, strong grip, a folder concerning the Cana dian resorts and a lot of pencil pa per, I am about to compose a very touching little rondeau called 'The Bank President's Farewell.' " A Lovers' Quarrel, Two young persona at Oeraua town had been engaged, had quar reled, but were too proud to "make up." Furthermore, both were anxi ous to have It believed tbey had en tirely forgotten each other. One day the young man called, os tensibly on business with her father. on which occasion It chanced that she ahould answer tbe door-bell. The young man was game. "Par don me," be aald, with the politest of bows, "Mlsa Eaton, I believe. Is your father In?" "I am sorry to say he Is not," the young woman responded, without the slightest sign of recognition. "Do yon wish to aee him personally?": "Yea,", replied the young man, as he turned to go down thi steps. "1 beg your pardon," called out the young woman, as he reached the lowest sup, "but who shall 1 say ceiled?" THET POST FOUGHT The Angular Chap and the Stern- faced Man Have a Little Talk. Tbe angular obey who bad been lotting down ubtea oa the margin of a newspaper approached the stern faced man In the l aterproof collar. "Beg pardon, air; but could I ask you a question r "It It isn't nonsensical." "Well, my mimory Isn't good ol late. Who Inven'ed the sewlng-ma chine?" "Howe." "H'ml He must be little deaf Who Invented the sewing-machine?" "Howe." "Ore: Bcottl I'll better get a trumpet The old geeser la as deal as be can be. Hey, there, who In tented the sewing-machine?" "Hove!" The angular chap leaned over and urved hla hanaj. Then he whooped: "For the last time, who Invented the sewing-machine?' "H-o-w-e Hows. Mr. Howe. And now If you ask me again blamed if I don't thrash you within an Inch ol vour life. Now get!" ai "iilar chan "got." etratofy. "1 thought your beak waaat going to give any vacation tbie year?" "It didn't Intend to." replied the as sistant cashier, brown from a long outing, "but I put on an anxious look aad puttered over my books so long they Insisted on my taking a resL" "Bo they could expert your ac counts?" "Sure. An they found them In such elegant shape that when I struck for a rales they had to give "-Philadelphia Ledger. Carrier Pigeon Service. Several of -the smaller Islands et New Zealand are without telegraphic communication with the mainland. A substitute has been twist la carrier pigeons. To send me wait by a ' tbe mm im dinner. : Ohren by the Father-ln-Law of the Neve German Ambaeeador. The appointment of Count John Be ms toff as German Ambassador to uis country recalls the famous swan dinner which was given at Dellmoni co's In the early '80s by the late Mr. Ltckemeyer, bis father-in-law. This gentleman was a weslthy Im porter and he received from the Unit, ed States Government the sum of 110,000 as a refund of excessive duties enacted from him on Importations. ' He dedicated thla sum to a gastro nomic monument, and never In the nistory of New York restaurants, sara Town and Country, has such a gor geous entertainment for a limited number of guests been rivalled. Seventy-two friends were asked. There waa one table covered with flowers, excepting a apace In the cen tre, left for a lake and a border around tbe table for the plates. This lake was an oval pond, thirty feet in length by nearly the width of the table, en closed by a delicate golden wire net work reaching from table to ceiling, making the whole one grand cage. Tn the lake awam four swans, brought from Central Park, surround ed by high banks of flowers, which prevented them from splashing tbe water on the table. Golden cages with canaries were hung from the cetilng and the entire room was one met of flowers. It waa a dinner at which all the moat fashionable women of that day were present The menu was done In gold and waa long and elaborate, after the fash ion, of that period, Tbe bprs d'oeuvre was ttmbale la Conde, and there were two soups, a relere, three en trees, a sorbet truffled chickens and saddle pf mutton for the roasts, two vegetables, a number of sweets and Ices, Where the Apple Came From. There are two rarletiea of apples found wild In Europe, but the region adjacent to the Caspian Sea seems to had been the origin of the apple aa known In the East Charred pieces of apples are found in tbe heaps of refuse left by the La we Dwellers, who occapled portions of Europe before any of the preaent racea. These peo ple' lived on plalforma laid over pilea driven iUo the water probabiy to protect themselves from animals, In an era before metal weapona were known. These specimens of apples are generally carbonised by beat but they abow perfectly the internal struc ture of the fruit There are five types of Native American apples, all of them crabs. John Smith wrote from Virginia t int he had found "some new crabapples, but they were small and bitter." New Englandera made the same report The Soulard has tbe reputation of being the largest aDd beat of these natlvee. , Borta of this variety, like the Matthews, are improved In alze and quality. Selections might proba bly be -nade from western thickets of even better aorta than are now known. I believe the blood of the wild crab la In some of our best orchard apples Eaay Charity. Frederick Townsend Martin was discussing at a dinner toe fund that he la raising for the great campaign against tuberculosis. 'Now, as Cbrlstmaa approaches," said Mr. Martin, "my fund will grow faat Christmas opens ail hearts and pockets. It finds few Americans like like the Spaniard." He shook hla head and smiled. "A man once solicited for a charity In Bt Sebastian," he aald. "He asked a nobleman to subscribe. The noble man shook bis head and said haught ily:! "I only give. Sir, to the genuine deserving poor.' "And whom do you call the genu ine deserving poor?' the other asked. " The genuine deaerving poor,' ex plained the nobleman, "are those who are too proud to accept charity." Tiger Terrorised Cerean Village. A man eating tiger is terrorizing the Outskirts of Seoul and parties are out with guns In the hope of finding htm In his lair. Last week Kim Sin, a wife of Mlm Tu-eun, living at their home, situated oa the mountain slope about Ave miles northwest m a town called Sangko-no-oo, waa attacked by a tiger when she went out to shut the front gate of the house at abou. 9 p. m. Bbe was killed by the animal and waa car rled away Into tbe adjoining moun tain. It la aaid that lately tigers have appeared at several places In tbe town and near about and Inflicted damage en people as well aa on the cattle. It Was Pun for the Besr. Treed by a 200-pound bear after It had hugged blm, torn off hla clothes and chased him a half mile, William Temple, of Emmons, Pa, was- forced to sit In the bitter cold on a small branch for nearly four hours Mon day, until a companion, aearcblng for blm, came upon the bear and ahot It Temple had three deep scratches In the face, his clothes were badly torn In the encounter, and be waa scared -wt of about a year'a growth- Mere Than Microscopes. The human heart concerna ua more than poring Into microscopes, and is arger than can be measured by the pompous figures of the astronomer. Km arson. A Purist "Did you ever have a cold?" Inquired .he plain cttlien, "that you couldn't get rid ofT" "Mo." answered the purist, "if I bad had I would have it now." The Early Bounds. Oalev Thst man Treeter certain ly punlshee the boose, doesn't bet Daly. Walt! The nght is young yet Bow He Figured It "Howard eaya be has fosr mola rs." , "Hew deea ha make H est?" "Ow., qed, . . ia-law." SUALL WE 00 BUSINESS Mill YOU? THE ORANGE COUNTY TRUST CO., Middletown, N. Y with an amiilo capital and surplus security is paying interest dormant accounts at the rate of four per cent' It paid more than $100 000 in 1908. Interest begins when deposit is made, Compounded m January and July. There is no change in the rate caused by the amount of Business may be done by mail. Write for detailed information. G. SPENCFR COWLEY, FRANK HARDING, Secretary. President. RYDER'S MARKET DINGMAN'S BUILDING DEALER IN Meats and Provisions, Fisli and Tegetahles, Canned Goods Orders Prnnptly Attended PAUL RYDER Broad Street, Milford. DR. KENNEDY'S "favorite "Remedy Pleanant to Take, Powerful to Cure, And Welcome In Every Home. KIDNEY, LIVER & BLOOD CURE Not a Patent Medicine. Over 30 Years of Success. Used in Thousands of Homes. Write to Dr. David Kennedy's Sons, Rondout, N. Y., for a FREE sample bottle. Large bottle $ 1 .00. All druggists. wumi How to Make i"hem Eat from thu Hand and Sign Checks at Will. Husoands are the natural product of most civilized countries. They art plentiful In jjor oi the United State-, of America, being scarcest in L'tali and Massachusetts, where each lady cwns but a fractlou of a husband, 01 none at all. Those owning no mort than a martiu 'nterest in a husband are called old or.aids. Although the best bu.-banda in thK country are acknowledge by experu to be Indigenous to the soil, those commanding toe higbjet marke' prices are the Imported varieties, be cause of their expensive labels. The Crown braud 1 rings the largeat fig ure. Tbe husband is r wary and elusive animal, Hieing for safety at tbe Oral noise like a ektr to bla lair .n club cilices and other remote caves ol bis habitat; but he may be cajoled forth by an appearance of IndlfTer ennce on the part of the trapper, ai hla curiosity ctn always be aroused by the strange creature who could re main immune t his charms; aftei which he may be easily caught an where in Jrond aa) light (though a white night-ligui of moon-calcium It preferable), iu a trap composed o trou-tro-H talcum, golden locks and flattery. There Is a tradition to tbe efTei that the earliest tusbacd-catcher wu a clumsy conl.l.ance made of tint nand-sewliig ntiacbed to a spinning wheel, decorated with home-made pre serves put up in a sirup of sweet dU positiOD and sealed in cocimon-sent.t jars. Once secured with a matrlmonla halter tied iu a diamond hitch, the usband bicome quite tame and will eat from the hand and eitin checks at will. There art m.ire than ufty-eeven varieties of nuvjancu at large and in captivity, but they are broadly classed as good and bau. ry tbelr respective owners or kiepers callrd wlvei Since the wife I so constituted thai she can believe anything she sets her mind to. she can easily persuade her self that a bad buaband is a goo. one and vice versa t merciful provision of Providence for martial bapplnrss The American husband is called by lis trans-atlantic compeers a beast o! burden; to which be may very ustl retort that the trans -atlai'lc husband is a beast of prey, or oinerwi&e. but ilways a beast, and that it's a White Han's Burden, anyway. All of wblcb .loves that the highest grade husband xtant has b.s permanent habitat In na foiled Bt mt it Aar.ric. the account. WOOD & SON FUNERAL DIRECTORS MILFORD PA UNDERTAKING In all branches Special attention given to EMBALMING No extra charge for attending funerals out o( town Telephone In Residence. IADK ASSISTANT Now "i ork Representative National Casket Co. 60 Great Jones St. Telephone 3346 Spring STOVE WuOD Furnhhed at ft t5 a loud. Mail onlert given prompt ah tt ntion. Milford Pa , Aov. 6th. 100B J. W. Kiex el. Washington Hotels. RIGGS HOUSE. The hotel par excellence of the easltal .ocattd wiifiin one block of the VYh he L!1nUrt?n.'1,d'.rectJT P-"'ethe Treaty! finest table in the olty. '' WILLARD'S HOTEL NATIONAL HOTEL. A landmark among the hotels of Wath ington, patronised In forme, years bv pre.ldent. and high officials IlwaV I prime favorite. Recently remodeled .? rendered better than ever. Opp. P. R Kt'&L hWApKH BURT O NHes il gr These hotels are the pilnclpsl nollMual onablerale. p,,oe' " o. o. a DCWITT eroErie. Strengthening n Worst Petticoat. A favorite silk petticoat became wcrn near the bottom, the seams and breadths giving sway beneath tbe ruffles. It waa not worth expend ing money for new silk, hut the own er disliked to discard it altogether, so repaired it In this fashon: Two and a half yards of heatherbloom were purchased as near the shade of the ailk as possible. The bottom of the skirt was faced up knee-high on the wrong aide with this, thus strengthening the worn parte be neath the ruffles. A deep flounce of the heatherbloom waa attached to tbe top of the facing, on the under side, of course. Tbla was not very full, but caused the skirt to set out nicely around tbe bottom and took mucb of the wear and tear off of the already weakened silk ruffles. The skirt bas now stood seversl addi tional months' wear, and seems good toran Indefinite period. Orange Custard. Bosk one-third box gelatine In a third of a cup of cold water until soft. Pour on one-third cup boillnj water, stir until dissolved, then aid one cup orange Juice and the Juice of one lemon, the orange pulps wit it a little of the grated rind, and u scant cup of sugar. Strain, then set In a pan of cracked Ice to chill and stiffen. As It begins to harden, whip to a atlS foam, add the whites of three eggs also whipped until stiff and light, then contluue the beating until the mats Is stiff enough not to drip. Line a mould with split lady flncers, slices of sponge cake or sec tions of oranges as preferred, turn In the cream and set on the Ice. When ready to serve loosen around the edge of the mould with a limber bladed knife, turn out on a low glass dish and pile a half pint whipped cream on top. The Queea'e Qnair." At a certain dinner party, a well known writer who waa present was asked by one of tbe company what he thought of Mr. Maurice Hewlett's novel, "The Queen's Qualr." "Don't you think that the author was a lit tle er Improper in 'The Queen's Qualr?' " was the question. The gen tleman thus Interrogated pointed out that tbe manners and morals of the time fully Justified Mr. . Hewlett's work, aud the conversation waa changed to other toplca. When the dinner was nearly over a mild-looking gentleman sitting next to the writer whispered, "I beg your par. doL, Mr. , but what did Mr, Hewlett do In Queen's Stuart V' (