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Who gives | Great gifts ideas for the bridal party
Are you sure you want to do this?
~ Love has come to be the foundation on
which we build marriages, but it presents
a problem in that we casually rely on it
as the answer to all the difficulties to be
encountered in marriage.
One of the reasons love has proved to
be less durable in experience than in
anticipation is that we have believed
there is nothing to be learned about it.
Most engaged persons are romantically
in love and tend to avoid basic questions
and decisions. ‘Nothing else matters
because we are in love” is a frequently
encountered point of view, in spite of the
overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
Questions and concerns should be worked
out or answered so that the ‘wedding
bells” will ring smoothly, getting the
couple off to a good start.
Common questions for engaged persons
outdoors.
“I have performed weddings in back-
yards and state parks.” Pastor Santos
said. “One ceremony was done with the
rustic sounds of a running stream and
birds, chirping in the background. The
couple being married wanted the cere-
mony performed in a state park because
the spot had a special meaning for
For Harriet Santos, pastor of the Shav-
ertown United Methodist Church in the
Back Mountain, wedding ceremonies
have become adventures.
Pastor Santos has performed many
ceremonies in non-traditional settings
and she says she has acquired a reputa-
| tion for being THE local member of the
Now that you’re sure, should
| clergy who is willing to marry couples
are centered around close relationships
of the bride and groom.
1. Can you talk to each other on a
factual warm level and be realistic about
conditions of concern? ;
2. Can you empathize and sympathize
at a deep emotional level?
3. Can you communicate appropriate
feelings and ideas?
4. Do you understand and respect
Questions every couple should ask before they decide to marry
differences that may exist between you?
5. Have you worked out the appropriate
masculine and feminine roles for each
other?
6. Do you have a process that you have
tried for making decisions?
7. Do you give and receive an appropri-
ate amount and kind of affection to each
other?
- See QUESTIONS, page 4
you get married outside?
them.” :
According to the pastor, the couples
whom she marries ¢hoose those places
that hold some special former signifi-
cance that they care to experience again
during the marriage ceremony.
“All the weddings I have done are truly
serious, romantic things. They are not a
show-off type of ceremony. Many couples
/write their own vows and the ceremonies
become very meaningful to those being
married.” Pastor Santos said.
Oftentimes, the couples do not have a
related attachment to one church. But
Pastor Santos says the individuals still
desire a ceremony performed by a
member of the clergy. The only thing
wu |
th IS brid e? In the past, the gifts given to members
of the bridal party by the bride and
For centuries, brides have been groom have usually been small gifts of
walked down the aisle and ‘‘given ornamentation: necklaces, bracelets,
away” by their fathers, a tradition cufflinks, tie clasps, moneyclips, etc.
dating back to a time when a father
could, and often did, give his daughter |
in marriage to anyone he pleased,”
usually to cement family alliances or
gain social status.
However, today, more and more
brides are breaking that tradition and
having both parents accompany them
down the aisle, a concept those of the
Jewish faith came up with long, long
given to the men, are often obsolete or
easily lost. How many men have french
cuff shirts for cuff links?
People often tend to think of gifts as
~ simply tangible items, thing that can be
held. However, since it is usually your
close friends and family members taking
part in the wedding with you, you may
want to put a little more thought into
ago. coming up with a gift they will always
At traditional Jewish weddings, both treasure, whether it is tangible or merely
the bride and the groom are accom- memorable.
panied to the ‘‘chupah’ or wedding
tent by their respective parents.
Having both parents accompany the
bride down the aisle, and or having
both parents answer ‘“we do’ when
the clergyman asks the traditional
“who gives this bride?’’ is a nice way
for the bride to acknowledge and
thank both her parents for the guid-
Couples looking for more innovative
ideas should consider the following:
FOR THE BRIDE’S ATTENDANTS
your price range) 5x7 photo frames for
which you later provide a color photo of
yourself and that particular attendant.
Today, these items, especially those |
1. Silver (or brass if silver is out of
—ance and love they provided her with
Even if the photo doesn’t end up in it, the
frame will probably be around a long
time, and the recipient will always
remember where she got it.
2. Treat your attendants to a facial or
makeover the day before the ceremony.
Another option is a trip to a nail salon for
professionally applied artifical nails.
These gifts may not be “lasting” physi-
cally, but such adventures usually prove
to be filled with laughs, so your friends
will have lasting memories. Also, you get
the added bonus of having a more
pampered, relaxed and attractive group
of attendants for your wedding cere-
mony.
3. On a far more practical level, if
there is a special accessory you have
been eyeing for your attendants - wrist
or opera-length gloves, $10 nylons that
have tiny bows up the back — but are
hesitant to ask them to purchase (they’ve
already paid for the dress and the
matching shoes and the hat or hair-
combs), give it to them as a gift. You get
those little extras that give your attend-
ants a more finished look, and they get a
glamour item they have probably fantas-
ized about buying but couldn’t justify the
expense for something they might use
only once. :
4. Brides looking for total uniformity in.
her attendants should consider giving
them all matching earrings to be worn
for the ceremony.
FOR THE GROOM’S MEN
Some of these ideas would work for the
belles attendants in certain situations as
well.
1. A box or three pack of personalized
golf balls (those willing to foot the extra
expense could probably find a specialty
manufacturer willing to put the bride and
groom’s names and the date of the
wedding on the balls).
2. A personalized or hand thrown coffee
mug.
3. An crystal or pewter stein engraved
with the attendant’s name or initials.
4. Tickets to a sporting event or con-
cert. Like the trip to the salon mentioned
above, this would provide memories that
cannot be misplaced or lost.
See CEREMONY, page 4
& SU Bey) 42 43 ple 2 over the years. :
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