left to right:
L.ehman; Toni Kapsales, Meyers;
Hoban; Lynn Jemo, Hazleton.
Yvonne Katsock, Bishop Hoban;
Coughlin;
L PPR
L, A
*1.00
A GALLON
ston.
JoAnn Gonchar,
Bishop
Jane Potance, Bishop Hafey; Hazleton;
Wyoming;
ROUTE 315
WILKES-BARRE
(ACROSS FROM TREADWAY INN)
EXIT 47 W — OFF INTERSTATE 81
—— PHONE ——
822-1188 or 654-9707
OPEN
DAILY
9 A.M.
to 9 P.M.
Noon +16
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STEAD OF YOUR CAR AND REALLY
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PAPER A
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® HEAVY DUTY WINTERIZED LINER
© DELUXE SAFETY LADDER
© TELESCOPIC VACUUM POLE
® DELUXE VACUUM HEAD
e VACUUM HOSE
e TEST KIT
® FILTER MEDIA
eo BACKWASH HOSE
eo OWNERS MANUAL
'® CUSTOMER SAVINGS BOOKLET
GUARANTEED
IN- i
GROUND
POOL
3 DAYS
(PACKAGE DEAL
= $900
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[1 chuon]
A GALLON
= 5 5 4
16’ x 31’
INGROUND POOL
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COMPLETELY
RY p-NEH 10)
Judi Krause,
Kyle Skrinak,
Hazleton; Joyce Davis,
It almost hurts to talk
about it.
Consider the story about
the California field worker
who got bit by a black
widow spider while making
a noon stopover ‘at a por-
table toilet.
What about the jailed
drunk who tripped on his
out a gold tooth on a toilet
seat.
Or the story about the
sun worshipper who
burned his chest on the hot.
Exhaust system of a gar-
run ‘over him at the oh
And how can we forget
about the ‘poorield seam-
stress who felts ‘the
presence’ of a ‘darning
needle she sat on years
earlier.
' Makes you want to rub
the backside to make sure
everything is okay.
You can imagine what
the claim representatives
for Aetna Life & Casualty
must have gone through
when they reviewed these
|cases. Aetna processes
millions of claims an-
|nually, and while many are
‘routine, some are just too
precious to pass over. Here
constables who thought
they caught a band of
thieves red-handed loading
the contents of a home into
a van.
One of the thieves con-
vinced the police officers
he actually was the
homeowner and was,
unhappily, claiming what
was his = after a bitter
divorce. The embarrassed
lawmen made their exit,
but not before offering to
assist the burglars. The
' reported missing.
~ Geta
head start
on aweekend
8 Wherever this week-
' end takes you, go there
in an MGB. It puts the
¢ fun in your driving!
MIDWAY MOTORS, INC.
© 2010 Wyoming Ave. |
Wyoming, Pa. 18644
287-3114
Then there was the
lovesick: male pooch who
smashed through the front
door of a home which
contained a female of the
species. The two canines
never rendezvoused. The
homeowner stopped the
excited intruder in front of
the door to the garage,
where the female was
chained, before it was
destroyed too.
A New Jersey
policyholder filed a claim
affer an appropriately-
named throw rug slipped
out from underneath = a
house guest. The claimant
said the guest ‘‘spilled”
blood all ‘over: her nice
wallpaper. How's that for a
in the early days of the
automobile, it was always
horse. Well, last year, a
New York nag won the
contest. A car traveling
along a bridle path startled
the horse and its rider.. The
horse reared; its master
tumbled onto the manure-
rider started making ob-
scene remarks, the horse
reared again,
leaving his calling card, in
the form of hoofprints, on
the side of the car.
The “I thought It Was a
Brilliant Idea’ award
may get it FREE.
who tried to defy winter by
placing an electric blanket
over his VW engine. On
rising one morning, he
found the car engulfed in
flames, probably from ‘a
short circuit.
Consider, if you will, the
man, who while on his
constitutional, walked into
a tree and filed for
damages. He said dust and
noise erupting from a
minor demolition project
down the block startled
him and sent him into the
collision course.
Talking about startled
people, you must feel some
sympathy for the woman
right in the front seat of her
car. The feline made
tracks on the woman’s
neck after being rudely
awakened from a sleep in
the backseat. The sudden
rush by the cat resulted in
the driver being propelled
forward. Some of her front
dental work was
rearranged after hitting
the steering wheel.
The inebriated fellow
mentioned in the beginning
was jailed for his own
safekeeping, and his
shoelaces were routinely
removed. You see, the
police didn’t want him to
hurt himself. The gold
tooth, by the way, was lost
down the commode.
Before the aforemen-
tioned garbage truck’s
exhaust system burned the
chest of the beach goer, the
poor guy was straddled by
the large vehicle while he
slept. Talk about rude
awakenings.
And for the sore seam-
stress. She claimed that a
doctor left part of a
surgical needle in her
rump, and filed a
malpractice suit.
Testimony revealed,
however, she sat on ¢
needle years ago.
s the dog who
fiberglass bumpers. Ac-
pooch took after the
claimant’s customized van
and after forcing it to stop,
ripped apart the special
flared bumper. A dog isn’t
necessarily a van’s best
friend. Adios until next
year,
Famous American
author-playwright John
O’Hara was born in 1905 in
Pottsville, Schuylkill
County. The O’Hara house
on Manantongo Street has
been placed on the National
Register of Historic
Places.
(Next to Caddie LaBar’s)
675-4960
_
|
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