ERR
Rey
_ mm ES —
TT I.
0 S—
By FRED M. KIEFER
: Seated with the Lady Who Pals With Me one evening last week we
discussed a forthcoming big game hunt to the Canadian Rockies. Her in-
experience prompted the following questions.
'T. L. W. P. W. M: “Can I ride side-saddle if I get tired?”
Her Husband: “You can if you’
one leg over the pommel.”
“If we ride a lot before we leave
we shouldn’t get so tired.”
“We'll be a week getting there
and besides these pack train cayuses
have an entirely different action
from the local animals. They'll
ferret out muscles you have never
in your life needed before.”
The Lady Who Pals With Me
digested this in silence for a mo-
ment. ‘Suppose’, she inquired,
“I shoot a grizzly bear and he comes
for me?”
“Yell to your guide to shoot, then
you leave that place.”
“Goodness!”
“The chances are the guide will
stop him or if he doesn’t he'll be-
come the bear's objective. There
won't be any trees, so don’t give
that a thought. Grizzlies climb, any-
how. Another thing, your horse
won't be anywhere around by this
time so don’t bother stopping to
look. Just keep on going. If you
and your guide, together, can’t kill
a grizzly you had better spend the
time in Atlantic City.”
“I thought this was to be a plea-
sure trip,” she accused.
“The pleasure comes when you
get home.”
“Why are you taking this cow-
girl 7”
“She can do a lot of little things
for you. One thing, she can protect
you from the curious male eye, at
times.”
“How 7”
“Darned if I know, but remember
when we get above timber-line there
will be no trees or bushes. She'll
find a way. She's lived in that
country all her life.”
“Is that what your friend javie
aiche meant in his column a couple
of weeks ago?”
“It’s hard to say just what John-
ny means sometimes, but I guess
“Did he ever do any hunting?”
“Plenty, years ago. Along the
‘waterfront in Philadelphia.”
“You're sure I can kill those an-
imals you mentioned ?”’
“Moose, caribou and deer? Ab-
solutely. Anyone who can shoot can
kill those fellows out there. Na
doubt, you'll get goats, too. And,
if you're lucky, a grizzly.”
“Maybe I'm not so anxious to get
a grizzly,” she mused.
“A bear hide’ll look swell on the
floor,” I countered.
“l wasn’t thinking of the bear's
hide—I had in mind my own.”
“Well, I'll be with you on the
bear hunts.”
“I heard Dr. Hill tell of your tak-
ing five shots to kill a little nanny
goat.”
“It wasn’t a nanny—it was a billy
and it wasn’t little”, I growled, “I've
seen Hill do some trick shooting
without bringing anything home,
too.”
“But did it take five shots? It
seems to me that if it was a big bear
and ‘it took five shots—".
“Listen, Edna, you know Hill as
well. as I do and that’s beside the
point’ anyhow. I always came home
in pretty good health, didn't 1?”
The Lady Who Pals With Me ad-
mitted this a little grudgingly. With
so many important details to cover
I can‘t understand why a woman
will take up so much time over a
mere incident.
I take?” came next.
“What kind of decent clothes
shall I take?” came next.
“You'll need a coat-suit for tra-
velling and that’s all besides your
outdoor stuff.”
“Won't we
hopefully.
“We will not.’
“I thought maybe at Banff and
Chicago on the way home?”
“Banff is out of the way an’ you
saw it once. After the Democratic
convention I don’t want to see
Chicago again for years.”
“Fred,” she jumped into this one
with determination, “I will not wear
that horrid long underwear. Why,
I'd look like a baseball player!”
“Listen,” says I, “The only people
that are going to see you in your
long underwear are the Indian
guides and they think that’s the only
kind of underwear there is, so calm
yourself. Want to freeze?”
“No. Of course not. But I didn't
_ expect the Indians to see me that
way either.”
“They won't if this cow-gal is on
the job.”
After a few moments the Lady
Who Pals With Me said, “Well, I'm
going all right!”
My God! She'd decided that four
weeks ago. ’
stop somewhere?”
~
FREEDOM
The columnists and con-
tributors on this page are
allowed great latitude in
expressing their own opin-
ions, even when their
opinions are at variance
with those of The Post
—BS
ve got strength enough left to hook
= :
THE LOW DOWN FROM
HICKORY GROVE
I just picked up a paper
where it says, in Sacra-
mento, Cal., that the new
SRA boss there is gonna
keep the traveling expens-
es of his men down to 6
bits for breakfast, and 6
bits for lunch, and one
dollar for dimmer.
Boy, I wonder what they
been getting under the old
boss. That SRA must be
an eatin’ outfit. They
should be a big help to
this Mr. Wallace, in clean-
ing up the surplus which
he keeps being excited
about. :
But Mr. Wallace, I reck-
on, will not be stewing so
much now about surpluses
or vice versa. Since he got
to running for vice- prest-
dent he is too busy else-
where. And especially in
Louisiana.
I see where they are oil-
ing up their shootin’ irons
for him. I would not crave
to be in his shoes. He ruin-
ed the sugar-cane farmer,
they say—also nearly all
other farmers.
But to get back to our
SRA — it sure has got
me intrigued — especially
those 6 bit breakfasts, and
6 bit lunches and one buck
dinners—oh boy!
Yours with the low down,
JO SERRA.
= —RS
Reflections
On javie aiche’s Reverie
Bt Sweet Valley
To contemplate the beauty of the
Spring
Is the prerogative of poet’s great.
In reverie our javie aiche may sing,
From dawn to gloaming, where
there is no hate.
But other men such visions can not
have.
From tiring work they know no
interlude,
Although the Zephyr’'s gentle kiss
may halve
The drops of sweat, their sole
beatitude. .
“The masterpiece of Summer is en-
hanced
By brilliant overtones and nether
shares”
Says javie aiche with rhyming pen,
entranced
By nature’s shady nooks and syl-
van glades.
But other men see not the picture
there,
Much less conceive its many va-
ried hues.
For fribble seems to be their only
care
And their unseemly song is “War-
Time Blues.”
The scene of Autumn most exalts
the soul
Of man, says javie aiche in words
divine. :
What pity there are men who pig”
eon-hole
Such thoughts sublime in minds
always supine.
Though two men trod the same de-
lightful path,
One’s soul at Nature's charm is
set afire,
The other, sightlessly, in scornful
wrath
Feels just the pricking of a thorny
briar.
In Winter's bold relief God’s glory
shines,
As javie aiche in scintillating
style,
Successfully portrays. He who re-
signs
Himself to Nature's grace sur-
mounts all, while
The man who looks upon the spark-
ling snow
In terms of shovelfuls and aching
backs
Unfortunately does not see or know
The power of communion in God's
acts.
Dear javie aiche I hope your mas-
terpiece .
Gives inspiration to all those who
let
Such little things as flies and buzz-
ing bees
Distract them from the grandeur
Nature set
To re-invigorate the soul of man.
escape them all
In quiet contemplation of the span
Attorney Miner Aylesworth
Sweet Valley
_ignore,
“Nevermore.”
May those with troubled thoughts
Of beauty in your lines poetical.
P. S. You see the damn mosquito I
So let me quote the raven—
aa gi fy
~ FASCIONABLE FRANCE
Toy SRA
pelled Fashionable’)
FON See,
Jinn
* Convright 1940 Lincoln Newspaper Features. Inc.
benediction.
SECOND THOUGHTS
By javie aiche
God save Wyoming Valley, now that America is wholly blest.
Assumption of the hallowed state, from mountains to prairies and to
the oceans white with foam, is based upon the premise of prayer, taking
for granted that although Irving Berlin failed to mention the area, there
still will be, from the domain of the Northwestern Mounted Police to the
region South of the Border at least a consoling share of the bonus of
It wasn’t America your correspondent was blessing at four o'clock
welkin with thunderous clamor of
praying, although many of the
words were the same. You know
how it is when you are trying to
sleep and the rasp of whiskey tenor
cuts your bonds with Morpheus.
The metric muse of the Tsar of
Tin-Pan Alley takes all in its stride.
The cadences of the song bounce
from the peaks of pulchritude to
the vales of venality, from the puis-
sant great to the pusillanimous in-
grate, without let or hindrance.
We'll take a little venom with the
vin blanc of virtue. If Heaven will
vouchsafe the vocal range we'll go
on singing the ‘Star Spangled Ban-
ner” so as not to forget that blood
is required to wipe out pollution,
and to remember that those who
shout loudest of their trust in God
will hold in reserve their determi-
nation that for all others the terms
are cash.
It is needful that God bless Amer-
ica. Only by magnificent mediation
may we be swayed to the middle
course between a patient Lindbergh
and a shillelagh-swinging Senator
Pepper, between a wistful Willkie
and a robustious Roosevelt, a con-
niving Canada and a conglomerate
South America of only remote con-
sanguinity. If Winter comes with
war not far behind, only the miracle
of manna, a manna of munitions,
can replace with steel and strength
the wooden weapons of our woeful
lack of defense and put tanks in the
drill fields where ply toy trucks.
But, God save Wyoming Valley.
Where else might you find a Muh-
lenberg telephone exchange ? Where
else can be had contact with such
prime contention as ensues when
you ring up on your community
that many receivers are taken down
to listen in on what you have to
say? Where but in a blessed Amer-
ica and a Wyoming Valley secure
in salvation would it be permitted
that you pay toll from your rural
cabin to Muhlenberg, to Shickshin-
ny, to Nanticoke, to Wilkes-Barre,
when ten feet across the road the
lines of the efficient Bell System
could be tapped for privacy and a
straightaway connection? Bless the
freedom of enterprise, but be care-
ful in your choice of words.
Love your neighbor while you
are wondering how much longer it
will be before an antiquated system
can sell itself to a prime essential,
with you and other telephone users
pillaging your poke for the cost in
unearned profit. It's hard to love
your neighbor. A neighbor is the
exchange girl who forgets about the
company on the porch, or loses you
far from home by plugging your call
to Berwick far off the route of al-
ready circuitous detour.
God save Wyoming Valley.
guardian mountains where now the
caterpillar tractor, the giant exca-
vator, the monstrous dragline, are
tearing away the blue hills to rip
coal from the womb of earth, while
mines lie idle and men waste on Re-
lief. You must have freedom of en-
terprise to permit that, even if it
starves you to death. Or makes Fifth
columnists of three potential army
divisions of unemployed colliers.
+ You read of unhappy Europe tear-
ing out its vitals in fratricidal strife
over possession of a river. And you
line and hear twenty-one clicks as |
line customers when there is good
To
remain a valley it must have its
this morning (Sunday morning) when wandering wastrels whanged the
their devotion. In fact, we weren't
“More than a newspaper,
a community institution”
THE DALLAS POST
ESTABLISHED 1889
A non-partisan liberal
progressive mewspaper pub-
lished every Friday morning
at its plant on Lehman Ave-
nue, Dallas, Penna., by the
Dallas Post, Inc.
Entered as second-class matter
at the post office at Dallas, Pa.,
under the Act of March 3, 1879.
Subscriptions, $2 a year, payable
mn advance.
Howard W. Risley............ Manager
Howell E. Rees................. Editor
Weekly Dozen
A satisfactory cosmetic pays
high dividends to a woman,
It acts as a psychological
tonic giving self-assurance.
Some women, however, suf-
fer results contrary to expecta-
tions.
Certain skins prove allergic
to certain cosmetics.
These are exceptions, but
they are demoralizing to the
users.
Face powders formerly con-
tained orris root, rice powder
or starch.
Delicate skins were often sen-
sitive to such ingredients.
Lipsticks may contain bromo-
acid and aniline dyes.
Face creams may contain po-
tassium hydroxide and sperma-
ceti.
Freckle removers may con-
tain mercury and zinc sulpho-
carbolate.
It should be easy to under-
stand how some of these pro-
duce the unexpected.
Pity the woman who is al-
lergic to cosmetic ingredients.
look upon the Susquehanna that
once was navigable, that once bore
scows and steamers and ran flush
to its banks with a hundred varie-
ties of fish. Clogged by culm, un-
channeled, concupiscent with coag-
| ulated filth, that’s the Susquehanna.
There was no fight about it. Cor-
porations and convenience abused
it at will.
Friend Tom Hicks has discovered
that very little if anything is com-
ing the way of Wyoming Valley
from the seventy million dollars it
might have had, were we ready to
bless America with a series of deeds
instead of a very unserious song.
Your correspondent begs pardon.
A couple of the neighbors just came
in. They have the piano going and
they want to harmonize. They need
our baritone; so, for a while it will
be up to God to save Wyoming Val-
ley.
We're going to sing “God Bless
America.”
THE SAFETY
VALVE
This column is open to
everyone. Letters should be
plainly written and signed.
MY ACCEPTANCE
The Buckskin Party and Eph McCoy,
With ghosts of men from ages
past,
Will bring to us a world of joy,
And peace that will forever last.
Old Eph will have a
plank,
His platform tells us so.
He'll come to us and ask us frank,
Boys; How will this thing go?
“Prosper”
He'll say to us, If you don’t think
It’s on the up and up,
We'll scrap it now right where we
are,
And feed it to the pup.
Now Eph’s a man of brawn and
brain,
He's not a non-believer,
He picks his men; not for good
looks,
So let's start out with Kiefer.
Fred's a man who can’t be told.
As many a guy will remember;
He tells them what they have to do
As early as September.
Next we come to Big Clyde Lapp,
Who kicks at all elections,
[THE SE
‘to understand!
EY — TTT
IAG SEE
FR TA A
RRL ha i PRG
NTIMENTAL SIDE]
By EDITH BLEZ
“Only Home Can Make a Woman Truly Happy.” That statement has
been haunting me since I noticed it
in the headlines of a Sunday supple-
ment. I do not like that statement! In the first place it isn’t true and
furthermore I am firmly convinced
that a home can make a woman un-
happy as well as happy! I am not thinking of the woman who has a maid,
a car at her disposal and a liberal spending account. I am thinking of Mrs.
Average Housewife, the woman who must do all her own work, and in
addition raise a family, and make a small amount of money do the work
of a large sum.
What does Mrs. Average Housewife face each day? Can she look for-
ward to an exciting day filled with new pleasures? In most cases, no, be-
cause Mrs. Average Housewife has
her work cut out for her and each
day she has routine tasks to per-
form which she certainly doesn’t
find intensely interesting after she
has been doing them over a period
of years. Her tasks seldom very.
There is always the washing, the
ironing, and the cleaning and the
mending to do. Then there are
three meals a day to plan and pre-
pare and the food budget, the
clothes budget, and the recreation
budget to work out if she is a care-
ful housekeeper.
The difficulty with keeping house
in the average household is not real-
ly the hard work, it is the dullness
and the monotony of a job which
seems to be the same, day after day,
week after week. So much is ex-
pected of the woman who runs a
household. In addition to all she
must accomplish she is expected to
have a sweet pleasant disposition
and if she does fly off the handle
and complains her family looks
at her in amazement. They refuse
If she insists that
she gets tired of the same old rou-
tine and that she is worn out trying
to keep the home running smoothly
and that her days are monotonous
the family console her with the
thought that everyone has a job to
do and why not be cheerful about
it?
But the housekeeper’s job is dif-
ferent from most jobs. The house-
keeper's office is right in her own
home. She seldom gets a change of
scenery unless it is a rushed trip
to town, or a week or two at the
shore or the mountains in the sum-
mer. She seldom comes in contact
with new people or new situations
unless it is red ants in the kitchen
or the new puppy having worms, or
one of the children coming down
with the measles or the whooping
cough.
It isn’t every day Mrs. Average
Housewife gets a quiet hour off for
lunch and it is very seldom she gets
out of the house for lunch. She can’t
stroll along the street and enjoy
window shopping, her shopping is
usually confined to the price of
vegetables and where she can get
the best food for the least money.
Her chief conversation during the
course of her day is with the milk-
man, the bread man or perhaps an
occasional peddler. The average
housekeeper has plenty to do but
the days are long and the hours
drag because her work is too much
the same year in and year out. Don’t
try to tell Mrs. Average House-
wife that “Only Home Can Make a
| Woman Truly Happy”. She will give
iyou a dozen reasons to refute that
| statement and she will be very em-
phatic about the dullness and mono-
| tony of keeping house. If you don’t
| believe me, ask her!
lage platform. Out of the ruins, a
He wont stay in and wont stay out, | new city is built!
Can he raise Hell? Perfection!
An able man is Joe MacVeigh,
He's jolly and aggressive
He used to be a Democrat,
But now he’s quite progressive.
Ralph Hazeltine knows what
takes,
To make the party function,
He always takes the Main Line
through,
He don’t stop at the Junction.
These two will serve the Party well,
They're never on the spot,
They work like sin; and get results,
javie aiche and young Durelle
Scott.
Doctor Schooley will do his bit,
For Sherman is no shirker,
He'll travel far without complaint,
And make a darn good worker.
Here's one who lives a quiet life,
He's tall and lean and handsome,
{For Pete (Peterson) will get the
ladies’ vote,
As far up-state as Ransom.
We're down the list to dear Old
Mike,
And now I'm stuck for rhythm,
For Kuchta won't rhyme with any-
thing but
He'll knock hell out of isms.
So I accept the honored Post,
With the grand Old Buckskin Party,
For Eph McCoy is out for bear,
Or I'm a dam fool smarty.
H. A. Smith
It’s In The Bag!
Cap'n Chris Rice, Chairman,
Buckskin Party,
c/o The Post.
Dear Sir:
May I, in all humility, extend my
thanks to you for the appointment
as National Committeeman. I as-
sume, too, that the appointment is
not one of draft, a la Chicago,
therefore, it is doubly appreciated.
The simple verbiage and thought
it
|
of our new platform should inspire |
the ranks of those long accustomed
to the straddling words of the aver-
On with the campaign! With
McCoy leading us, there can be no
failure.
Yours sincerely,
Henry W. Peterson
(So far Messrs, Kiefer, Hazel-
ton, Heffernan, Smith and Pet-
erson have acknowledged their
appointment. What of Joe Mc-
Veigh, Dr. Schooley, D. T. Scott,
Jr., and Michael Kuchta ?)
THE OLD
SCRAPBOOK
——By "Bob" Sutton —
Greetings:
Isn't it strange that the things
we enjoy most are those which are
occasional? The joy we receive
from them is greater. The things
we, have every day become com-
monplace, but those which we en-
joy most come only once in a
while.
—C—
If we had more prayers we would
have less cares!
Faith is worth nothing—unless
you use it in the trying hour.
» is
Fritz Kreisler, world famed vio-
linist, has said: “I was born with
music in my System. It was a gift
of Providence. Music is too sacred
to be sold. I never look upon the
money I earn as my own. It is only
a fund entrusted to my care for
proper disbursement. I reduce all
my needs to the minimum. In all
these years of my so-called suc-
cess we have never built a home for
ourselves.”
——
- THE SWEETEST ROSE
There are flowers that grow in my
garden,
| Their beauty and fragrance is rare;
{ But there is one rose in my garden,
With whom there's no rose can
compare.
mer brought to me,
Sweeter yet by far than the Rose of
Piccardy;
Your beauty is so rare, its fragrance
fills the air,
You're the sweetest rose that Sum-
mer brought to me.
—_—O—
Is your talent misplaced? Re-
member, God gave you whatever
ability you have. Are you using it
for your own selfish gain, or is it
dedicated to God for His use and
glory ?
—Q——
The radio says, “I'll Never Smile
Again,” It must be that is the
theme song of a lot of people I've
seen.
—O—
Is there any beauty comparible
to that of good music? Can any-
thing bring more peace or happiness
outside of the divine? I believe God
gave us an appreciation for music.
I am not one who believes that be-
jus a song is popular that it is no
good. Many of our most beautiful
| songs are among those which are
[eine written every day. Pity is
that they are used so wrongly, and
forgotten so soon. Couldn't some-
one rescue these beautiful songs
from the power of the devil of a
fleeting moment and place them
among the classical and standard
[isvorites of all times?
| eC
Here is a thought for the week:
A useful life is not determined by
its length, but by its usefulness to
| others. !
Good Food
EY
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