AN
GIMME A
By FRED M. KIEFER —
Cap'n Chris Rice
National Chairman
Buckskin Party
‘Blue Skunk Holler, Pa.
Dear Cap'n:
My attention was riveted upon
the last paragraph of Postscripts in
today’s Dallas paper, wherein I have the honor to be named a National
Committeeman of the Buckskin Party.
To say that I am deeply pleased is but to utter futile words.
My
pleasure is without bounds and for several reasons, beyond the personal
equation, which I shall attempt to enumerate. Freely, gladly do I accept
in all humility, this tremendous obligation.
I accept because my colleagues, as
selected committeemen, are men
above reproach and for the follow-
ing reasons adaptable to the clear
thinking which this movement de-
mands.
To itemize: Mr. Hazletine, al-
though of great political experience,
has never attained heretofore that
peak of freedom where he could re-
move the ring from the dividing
line of his proboscis. If he accepts
the Buckskin challenge his asset to
the American people will be of in-
estimable value.
Mr. MacVeigh has long followed
the dictates of honest conviction
without ever reaching a point where
he could boast of an elected nomi-
~ nee with joy. This especially ap-
plies to the politics of Luzerne
County, for Mr. MacVeigh, like the
writer, has. most frequently voted
for men who were not elected.
Mr. Smith, although holding an
~ elective position of great merit him-
self, is not a dyed-in-the-wool one
vision man. Mr. Smith often sees
appreciative merit in candidates
whom the party bosses consider less
than dirt. Mr. Smith also has the
recommendation of keeping his nose
to the grindstone during hot politi-
cal engagements as witness his sac-
rificing a pleasant journey with Mrs.
Smith to Atlantic City in order to
remain in his sector to direct cam-
paign movements of some magni-
tude. }
In Clyde A. Lapp, the Buckskin
Party is blessed with an independ-
ent thinker who could have given
pointers to Martin Luther. Mr. Lapp
considers party labels a form of ma-
lignant and illegal advertising. Not,
I believe, because a party should
not have a label, but because the
ideology of the party has so far de-
parted from the original meanings
that candidates have no longer any
tonception of what the party
stands for and are only beneath its
banner for the good it can do
them. Therefore, a new party with
old Americans should be eagerly
acceptable to Mr. Lapp.
I am particularly pleased to see
John V. Heffernan numbered
among the chosen. Mr. H. has in late
years not been able to see the Re-
publican light, which, when you
come right down to it, appears to
me to be lighter, at that, than the
form of illumination diffused by the
Democrats. It is reasonable, there-
for, to assume that Mr. Heffernan’s
obstinancy, if diverted to the Buck-
skins, will be of no small value.
Dr. S. H. Schooley has been vot-
ing for General Sherman ever since
1864 which, in any man’s opinion,
is constancy. Whether or not the
Doctor agrees in toto with the
Buckskin “People’s Platform”
(which I am sure he does) the new
party will be enriched by a man
whose steadfast loyalty to early
Americans is a much desired ob-
jective.
Mr. Scott’s political economy I am
not familiar with beyond the fact
that he has expressed himself in my
presence as being partial to Mr.
Heffernan’s newspaper stories. This,
of course, puts us exactly nowhere.
But Mr. Scott is friendly with the
editor of this paper and as Mr.
Rees is non-Democratic, non-Repub-
lican, non-Socialist, but entirely
American, we can hope their mu-
tual association will land them both
in the Buckskin camp.
Mr. Peterson, who has himself
broken trails through the wilder-
ness in behalf of the local fire com-
pany to get a mere signature on a
check (an epic undertaking, if there
ever was one) has that pioneer in-
stinct that will make him valuable
to Mr. McCoy’s candidacy. .
Mr. Kuchta, I believe, has been
set for a movement of this nature
for some years. Mr. Kuchta has nev-
er had his wires crossed. Mr. Kuch-
ta is a find, indeed.
This much, Cap'n, for my fellow
committeemen.
The Platform, as voiced by Me-
Coy, is so timely that it startles as
well as delights me—a person who
has partially visualized just such
a policy, but visualized it as an im-
possible dream. A policy which
became lost after the founding fath-
ers, having committed their magnifi-
cent work to mankind, passed to
their real Valhalla.
It is to this, Mr. McCoy's per-
sonal platform, that I refer when I
make this one reservation. Only if
that platform, or any portion of that
platform is omitted, changed or
twisted shall I take advantage of my
right to desert the Buckskin party
‘and its candidates to cast my sup-
‘port and my vote to Mr. Wendell L.
Willkie.
Again emphasizing my deep grat-
titude for the honor conferred upon
me by my. selection and commending
you, Cap'n, and your co-workers
for your perspicacity in uncovering
such estimable men with whom I am
doubly honored to work, I am, eag-
erly awaiting further developments.
Your most humble and obedient
servant,
Fred M. Kiefer.
THE LOW DOWN FROM
HICKORY GROVE
You know, this idea of
doing something about
getting prepared for war
is O. K. But the idea of
just doing something, and
having only a hazy idea
about how it is gonna turn
out, is a horse of a differ-
ent color.
And you take these bat-
tleships costing around 90
million each, which we
think we gotta have, they
will maybe not be what we
want, 3 or L years from
now, when they are fin-
ished. We need something
now as much as } years
hence.
For 90 million we could
build 25 or 30 welter-
weight boats. And 25 or
30 such spitfires circling
one battleship, would
make things pretty lively
for the big boat. The 25
million dollar Graf Spee
of the Germans, she did-
n't last long against 3
small Britishers, down
there off South America.
We been rushing
around, woting money
hap-hazard, and half-
way beside ourself. The
only thing Congress asks
is, how much — and the
bigger the amount, the
quicker the vote. Maybe
this old, common-sense
Hoosier boy, Willkie, will
kinda get ‘em quieted
down and back on terra
firma, there in Old Po-
tomac Town.
Yours with the low down,
JO SERRA.
|
THE OLD
SCRAPBOOK
By "Bob" Sutton
Hello! How’s the heat? It’s about
90 in the shade here. Let's relax
today and pick up some random
notes.
\ remem
What's in a name? H. D. Hanger
is in the wallpaper business. H. P.
Kill sells life insurance. R. V. Cop-
per is a policeman.
——
The man who gets the idea that
he’s a big shot is often the first to
get fired.
En
He who wrestles with us strength-
ens our nerves and sharpens our
skill. Our antagonist is our helper.
—Q—
The business outlook may not be
good but it will be worse if you are
not on the lookout for business.
——
Business is founded on confidence.
He: If you keep looking at me
like that I'm going to kiss you.
She: Well, I can’t hold this ex-
pression forever.
——
Hitler uses the personal pronoun
“I” once in every 53 words; Musso-
lini, once in 83; Roosevelt, once in
100; Churchill, once in 160; Dalad-
ier, once in 235, and Chamberlain,
once in 249. .
ALL I NEED IS YOU
I don’t need a radio,
Sweet songs to listen to;
When I want to be romantic
All I need is you.
I don’t need the stars above
To shine and twinkle too;
For this loving heart of mine,
All I need is you.
I don’t need the moon’s influence
When I would bill and coo;
Though his presence may be helpful,
All I need is you.
Radio, stars, moon or not,
This be my answer true;
When it comes to making love,
All I need is you.
Sig
Remember: Every man is a vol-
ume, if you know how to read him.
: [I know they have. My glances low-
EERE =z
FasnE I a=
Ae AY ato mt BH ct ma SANNA
LE
Copyright 1889 Lincoln Newspaper Features, Inc.
=
SECOND THOUG
TS
by
javie aiche
I hide my nose in my bandanna
When I must cross the Susquehanna
And though with heat the day’s ca-
loric
My steps have speed that’s meteoric.
The odor’s something fit to bowl
© yuh,
Remindful not of the magnolia
Nor reminiscent yet of story
And song anent the pristine glory.
I pity folk down-stream. Who'd
think it?
This open sewer, they have to drink
it
I weary so of movie starlets,
The same expression on all pans;
I weary too of movie harlots
And clowns on whom they tie
their cans.
I walk the streets of shopping fo-
ment :
Where bargain-advertisement
begs
Attention for a passing moment
To this great truth: The girls
have legs;
bent
See a diversity of pegs,
The slick, the fat, those in a bow
bent,
They're plentful as yaps and
yeggs.
Yet screen queens would be fame
commanding
Upon their nether understanding.
I wish, instead, they'd take some
pains
To indicate they have some brains.
I've formed a sportsmanlike opinion
On traveling in the Dominion;
I'm welcome there as armament
That's gauged to battle’s fell intent.
But, then, I say: What fun? What
fun?
I dare not tote a fowling gun.
They'll let me spread myself like
honey
If I am armed with U. S. money.
HARRISBURG
WHIRLIGIG
Final settlement of damages to
State-owned planes wrecked during
the Earle administration has been
announced by Secretary of Revenue
William J. Hamilton, Jr. Former
Governor George H. Earle has
agreed to pay for repairs to State
planes damaged by his son and the
Commonwealth will pay for damages
to planes while the former Gover-
nor was at the controls, Earle has
also’ agreed to pay for repairs and
storage of a plane grounded in 1938
at Hagerstown, Md.
(
—_—O—
S State Motor Police can be used
to patrol the Pennsylvania Turnpike
between Harrisburg and Pittsburgh,
under an opinion handed down by
Attorney General Claude T. Reno.
It is estimated that a force of from |
50 to 60 patrolmen will be neces-
sary to patrol the highway.
—_—0—
“More than a mewspaper,
a community institution”
THE DALLAS POST
ESTABLISHED 1889
A non-partisan liberal
progressive mewspaper pub-
lished every Friday morning
at its plant on Lehman Ave-
nue, Dallas, Penna., by the
Dallas Post, Inc.
Entered as second class matter
at the post office at Dallas, Pa.,
under the Act of March 3, 1879.
Subscription, $2 a year, payable
in advance.
Howard W. Risley......... Manager
Howell E. Rees................. Editor
Harold J. Price........... Mech. Supt.
Before the Turnpike is formally |
opened, which is expected to be in |
September, a mechanized Army unit |
will be sent over the highway to de-
termine its value as a war-time road.
The 1st Battalion, 108th Field Artil-
lery, will use eighty-five miles of
the Turnpike in a lightning dash|
from Indiantown Gap to Bedford
and will set up a defense of the
latter town on its arrival.
Little drops of water,
Little grains of sand,
Summon little daughter
To the ocean strand.
Few the little stitches
Of her sun-tan dress—
When the sun-burn itches,
Heavens, what a mess!
I pity Rand-McNally,
Cartographers are they;
The only land they can be sure
Has boundaries that will endure
Is here, the U. S. A.
Each week the Old World tally
Of empire goes astray,
Because alliance holds allure
Or blitzkrieg strikes. They'd
best immure
Geography ’til peace, the cure.
Is rescued from the fray.
What use to study out locations
That over-night may change re-
lations ?
WEEKLY DOZEN
Somebody is always trying to
take the joy out of life.
They tell us we must eat
spinach.
Or, we mustn’t eat bananas.
Introducing Dr. Rice, Bacteri-
oligist of Indiana University.
He tells us we don’t have to
eat things we may not like.
Dr. Rice gives us pleasant
substitutes.
There are vitamins in straw-
berries and cream, he says.
As for bananas, they are a
fine food.
People can remain well and
strong eating enjoyable foods.
Spinach is all right for peo-
ple who like it.
Don’t force it on those who
do not hanker for it.
They can get vitamins in
pleasanter tasting foods.
FOREVER
by Francis White
I never knew exactly what it
meant
To say forever and forever, while
You lived; but now I know . . . now,
since you went
From me. Forever is mile after
mile
Of space, impassable, uncharted; it
Is time beyond the count and scope ticket, it goes without saying that, |
| among all the parties, only we have | (SSIg
of mind;
A rack on which all tortured souls
submit; :
A prison with sealed door;
chains that bind. _
Forever is from when you died until
I go. Forever is the thing graves
know.
Forever is the life, the years, you
will
Not live. Forever is a word for woe.
I say forever and forever, and
There are no words I better under-
steel
Fits demoniac, conniption, fits that
baffle all description,
Fits of fright assail the nation’s
timid folk
Checking on the draft enforcement
that to peace portends di-
vorcement,
Thanks to warfare that no long-
er is a joke.
Well, when farewells have been
spoken, then the spell of
fits is broken,
Fitting uniforms leaves doubt of
who is who,
Lanks and fats will draw the
small ones, shorts and leans
will get the tall ones,
Maybe twill be said those fits are
frightful too.
Most times I'd lief be here as there
Although at present I'd be liefer
To pack my bags and forthwith fare
Away with Fred Mahomet Kiefer,
Who leaves on August twenty-sixth
For great adventure in the sticks.
He's loaded, too, Fred is, for bear,
His ardor’s hot; in fact, it’s sizzly,
He's off to only-God-knows-where
To bag the fierce and forceful
grizzly.
The sticks he'll roam you see in
talkies,
They're Canada’s northwestern
Rockies.
Sometimes I think that Freddie
seeks
What I have sought but all in
vain,
Aloofness utter for three weeks
From consciousness of lands in
pain,
Away from radio and prints
That find in misery their stints.
From Field LaGuardia he'll fly
To Montreal and there change
. planes,
To Edmonton he then will hie
On Canada’s Pacific lanes.
From there with pack train, horse
and scout
A note to Mrs. Kiefer: Edna,
Naglesna vodnek marduk jedna.
THE SAFETY
VALVE
This column is open to
everyone. Letters should be
plainly written and signed.
McCoy For President!
i Editor:
Please convey my acceptance of
my post as National Committeeman
of the Buckskin Party to the Chair-
man of our party, it not being quite
clear in my mind from your news
dispatch just who that individual
is.
There are several reasons why I
accept. First and foremost is the
realization that such an honor |
comes but once in a lifetime and I
| want the place before the offer is
withdrawn (modesty ?).
Then, it is evident this nomina-
tion by the Buckskin did not come
| from ‘the grass roots” but from a
! “new ground” that followed a “log |
! rolling” of huge proportions.
| Further, it has the earmarks of |
la log cabin and hard cider cam-
|paign, so dear to the hearts of all
{Back Mountain patriots. .!
| Finally, with Eph heading the
| the real McCoy!
| Respectfully,
Ralph Hazeltine |
| vv vv ve vv
| Upholstering @® Free Estimates
| PAUL B. SMITH
Rr. 16 N. Main Street
Wilkes-Barre
|
1
| —— PHONE 3-0281 —— |
sala Ddilienetbectlieatfivedioneae
POO DODO
[lof which to be proud. President
‘fing on in such a disorderly way in
And chef and guide he’s blotted out. |
s|turned over to a party which has
%
|
this great country of ours.
than we do! Travelling around the
exciting novel. The characters are so
citing to make the acquaintance of
NTAL
By EDITH BLEZ
I am firmly convinced that most of us are adventurers at heart and
to the average American there is nothing quite as exciting as touring
We go East, West, North and South and we
are forever amazed that people in our own country can live so differently
country in a car is like reading an
many and so varied it is always ex-
the people who run the stores, the
waitresses in the roadside restaurants, the custodians of the tourist hous-
‘es and the attendants at the gas stations.
i
RICOCHETS
— By Rives Matthews—
The Democratic Party has now
decided to place all its hopes for
victory in November in President
{ Roosevelt. It has admitted that no
other man in the Party has as good
a chance to win, and we bow to
that decision. The straw polls and
the professional gamblers’ odds in-
dicate that U. S. Democrats knew
what they were doing last week in
Chicago.
The Democratic Party has em-
barked upon a new adventure in
politics. There is no question but
that the Republicans will try to
make a Third Term the chief issue
of the campaign now beginning. Let
us all, as Democrats, do nothing
which will give to the Republicans
any grounds for convincing the pub-
lic President Roosevelt, in accepting
a Third . Term nomination, has taken
the road down which Hitler and
Mussolini have already traveled.
The Democratic Party has much
Roosevelt has made a record for
himself which assures him a place
in history, no matter what the out-
come in November and what follows
after. We trust both will realize
how grave is their responsibility,
and that they will permit no more
Kelly Machines to jeopardize their
reputation as leaders of the greatest
democracy on earth.
A democratic victory in Novem-
ber is absolutely essential to the
safety of this nation. Wendell Will-
kie’s wrecking crew must' not be
permitted to sabotage the peaceful
revolutionary process which has
been going on in this country ever
since Calvin Coolidge found super-
vising the White House shopping |
! more important than the affairs of
this nation.
By now, of course, it is apparent
to most intelligent people that this
nation is, and has been, undergoing
a quiet revolution. We are convinc-
ed revolution would not have been
so quiet had Mr. Hoover remained
in Washington two weeks more.
The nation has the Democratic
Party, and Mr. Roosevelt, to thank
for bringing order to our so-far
bloodless revolution, which is only
a part of the revolution now go-
other parts of the world.
The danger in November to this
nation lies in turning over the vast-
ly more powerful machinery of
, government to blundering bourbons
jand youthful fascists. The blund-
ering bourbons are financing Mr.
Willkie. The youthful fascists are |
rallying to his personal appeal. The
blundering bourbons think, as the
industrialists of Germany thought,
that Willkie will return them to
their ancient rights and special priv-
ileges. The youthful fascists want |
only excitement and power, uni-
forms and force.
By November, and after, we will
have a greatly increased military
class, and vast numbers of military |
{minded citizens. That military
i strength and attitude must not be |
always shown itself to be more con- !
i cerned with the life, liberty and the
‘right to pursue happines for our
American plutocracy than it is, or!
has ever been, in the welfare of the |
people.
A Republican victory in Novem-
ber would be a calamity. We do not
believe that such a calamity can
happen here. And it won’t, if the
Democratic Party goes into this’
campaign with the same determina- |
tion to win, and the same care it
took to win, in 1932. After eight |
years of victory, the New Deal must '
avoid, at all costs, any appearance |
of being drunk with power. To
win, it must fight, and hit as hard ;
as it did in the beginning. |
ag ~~ La a a a a
“SMILING SERVICE ALWAYS”
OLIVER'S GARAGE
Packard and Hudson Cars
White and Indiana Trucks
DALLAS, PENNA.
oo
TO NEW YORK?
LEN
~
SEI rT
SOE
MODERN ACCOMMODATIONS \&
FRIENDLY SERVICE
IDEAL EOCATION
YIN
300 ROOMS — 300 BATHS
Write for Free Guide Book
“SEEING NEW YORK*
H. H. Cummiags, Mgr.
447ST. East oF BROADWAY
FORMERLY 44TH ST. HOTEL
Je >
This year I was lucky enough to
go South and now I know that
Southern hospitality really exists
because I came in contact with the
little people, the people who are
the backbone of the South, and ev-
eryone I met seemed to possess that
graciousness and friendliness we al-
ways associate with Southerners.
I shall remember for a long time
the storekeeper we met in Virginia.
The store was in the heart of the
mountains of Virginia and it was
unusually clean and orderly for a
store of its type. The storekeeper
was a big fellow with very soft,
brown eyes but he was very unhap-
py! He didn’t like keeping store.
He had been to Nashville, Tenn.,
once and he wanted to go back
again. He informed us several times
that Nashville was 750 miles from
his place, 750 miles, and when he
said it the expression on his face
never changed! He lived alone and
while he stood talking to wus his
supper was cooking on a small oil
stove in the back room. Poor fel-
low, he was really tragic. Evidently
he had a fine business, but he
wanted to go to Nashville!
Another store in North Carolina
was very different from the store
we encountered in Virginia. It was
jammed with farmers and it was 3
o'clock in the afternoon. They were
all talking at a great rate and when
we could understand the conversa-
tion we discovered that it was all
about some woman who had a wis-
dom tooth pulled the night before.
We asked the storekeeper why there
were so many men sitting around
and he told us they were all farm-
ers and the crop of tobacco was
just ready to cut and in the mean-
time the men had nothing to do
but sit! The storekeeper went to
the front of the store to wait on a
negro girl who come to buy ice and
while he was busy with her, sev-
eral of the farmers walked behind
the counter and helped themselves
to a cold drink and then went right
on with their very animated con-
versations!
Then there was the woman in
the roadside stand in Florida. We
had stopped for something cool to
drink, not intending to stay any
length of time, and we stayed an
hour! The inside of the place was
fixed up like a bar and in the circle
behind the bar sat a very plain lit-
tle woman. Every seat around the
bar was taken and after we had
been there a few minutes we began
to realize why people were reluctant
to leave. The woman was a genius
at making people relax and feel at
home. She had everybody talking
to everybody else and before we left
we all knew where everybody lived,
where they were going, how many
children they had, what the temper-
ature was at home, and what it
looked like in Buffalo and several
other places we had never seen.
That small individual knew how
to make people comfortable, the
place was bright with her sunny
disposition. That small roadstand
was like an oasis in a too busy
world.
We Call It
Romance *
IT’S JUST a can of soup. But
during a long lifetime, the
man who made it found some
way to advertise it. At first,
just a sign over his little soup
kitchen, a few newspaper ads,
a few billboards. But as the
advertising grew, so did the
business.
| Now the business employs
‘thousands of workers, helps to
| support tens of thousands of
retail clerks and transporta-
tion men, and gives the house-
| wife a better, cheaper soup
ithan she could prepare at
‘home.
Back of every heavily ad-
| vertised’ article is a romantic
story of this kind—the kind of
romance that built America.
To Reach The Rich Market Of
Customers In The Growing
Area About Dallas, Advertise
Regularly in
e®o
THE
~ DALLAS POST
i