The school board toted old
Gid to the door, counted
one-two-three, and Gid rose,
did a bucking but graceful
arc, and hit the ground
about fifteen feet outside.
During the day Je’miah saw the other
school trustees, Hank Hicks and Jesse
‘Leverage. Judge Jesse, magistrate,
notary public, noted law-giver of Hog
Jowl, all his activities geared to coincide
with his medieval interpretations of the
law books, was of the opinion that Miss
Nanette must also be on hand to speak
in her defense. Je'miah snarled, “Aw
rats!” This would sour his crock of milk.
But he was forced to give in to Uncle
WIT
Jesse’s legal scruples. In any case, he
could handle Hicks, who owed him
money. He summoned the teacher for
the night’s inquisition,
That night Je’miah arrived at the
neat, brand-new little schoolhouse,
built by the settlement under Miss Nan-
SA
TOWN QUIZ: STIMULATING MENTAL CONTEST FOR ALL THE FAMILY
CREDIT yourself with 1 point for each
question answered correctly. 10 is con-
sidered average, 12 good and 14 or more
excellent. Answers are on page 6.
. 1—If your friends are celebrating
their tenth wedding anniversary, yow’ll
give them a present of . ..
gold silver
wood tin
2—The slaughter house may not be
such a nice place for the cattle, but it
has an intriguing name. Do you know
which it is?
catafalque
mausoleum
mortuary
abattoir
3—When someone we know is forever
wavering between despair and high
hopes we are apt to think of Dickens’
famous character and call him another. .
Fagin David Copperfield
Mr. Micawber Scrooge
4—You’d hardly think of vegetables
and music together; yet the “musical
sweet potato” is another name for an, .
accordion harmonica
saxophone ocarina
5—Prize-ring enthusiasts know the
Manassa Mauler os wees os
: Tunne
JA
>
Js
TOWN WEEKLY MAGAZINE SECTION
ette’s direction from pie suppers and
other funds. The other trustees arrived.
Gid panted in with the agitated breath-
lessness of a steam shovel climbing a
mountain. Nanette, last to arrive, was a
pretty, composed figure. She greeted
them all with a bright smile, and the
meeting came to order.
Je’miah, chairman of the board, said,
“The star witness will take the stand.
Gid Huckleby, tell the truth, the hull
truth, and nothing but the truth.”
“Shore!” Gid said with relish. “Me, I
suckled the bottle of truth through in-
fancy, and fed on the cream and sop of
integrity ever since. I war up Skunk Run
. trading and trafficking for hides when I
seen Joey Bean and Miss—Miss—the
gal-critter yonder, carrying on sinful
dancing at Rood Potts’ eabin. Yas-sir,
and that ain’t the half I done seen,
neither!” He paused dramatically and
rolled his eyes.
“And then she started raining, boys,
and it rained catfish and tadpoles and
alligator claws. Then here come a thun-
derbolt. The bolt spewed out of a tail
of blue blazes like a comet, and I was
standing under a sickymore tree and the
bolt shaved that tree and liked to taken
off two-thirds of my backbone.”
Je’miah demanded impatiently, “Did
she dance, when it air against the
rules?”
Gid reared back. “Did she! Bub, I
spied the most sinfullest carryings-on
ever I seen. Her and Joey got off in the
dark and bussed!”
“You mean,” Judge Jesse said, “they
kissed?”
“They shore did.”
Je’miah glared, and Hank Hicks near-
1y fell off his chair. Old Jesse wanted to
know, “What's a kiss between young
folks?”
“It’s sinful and agin’ the board rules
fer the school teacher to go kissin’ any-
body. She drug Joey back in the house
and yelled, ‘Joey, beller like you will
over the broadcast—'
Je’miah sat up stiff. “Broadcast—""
ESS
Gid seemed not to hear. “Thinks I to
myself, if Joey take to bellering over the
air like a sow with its snout ketched in a
steel trap, it’ll burn out all the sets from
Skunk Run to the cliffs of Hell’n-Dam-
nation!” Je’miah would like this, giving
music tunket.
6—The mumble-jumble man is going
on a trip. His itinerary includes these
cities:
DHYOOOLLW
ULTUDH
VCNEADELL
FOUABFL
7—Match these fields of endeavor
selow with the words which are peculiar
to each field:
publishing sponsor
radio filibuster
medicine format
politics sedative
8—Here’s a chance to check your
spelling score. Correct the misspelled
words in the following sentences:
(a) The man reserved a birth on the
train.
(b) This material is very course.
(¢) My client is defendent in this
action,
9—And just to prove that your gram.
mar is as good as your spelling, locate
the sentences which are incorrect.
(a) The teacher, as well as the stue
dents and visitors, was laughing heart-
question,
(c) She is o
(b) There is three answers to. that
TOWN COVER:
celebrated in 1939.
’
EAGLE BLUFF
On the Mississippi
FOUNTAIN CITY, WISCONSIN
Highest point on the Mississippi, 600 feet above river level, is
Eagle Bluff, above Fountain City, Wisconsin.
Its fiatardl harbor and many springs induced early settlement
here, and Fountain City soon became a shipping point for grain,
meat and lumber. Centennial of the founding of the city will be
Completion of government dams in 1937 made the upper Mis-
sissippi directly accessible for ocean freight ships, with cargoes of
oil, gasoline, coal, wheat and corn, which connect at Fountain City
with main highways and railroads. The Government River Main-
tenance Division, boatyards and warehouses are located here.
Fountain City, center of a rich agricultural and creamery sec-
tion, has rock quarrying and breweries as the main industries.
Many people are attracted by its winter sports which include
skiing, coasting, skating and ice-boating.
In speechless rage old Je’miah leaped
to. his feet. “Dang your picture, Gid
Huckleby, that air’s my boy you're talk-
ing about! Who says he sounds like a
sow with its snout ketched in a steel
trap—
Hicks said, “What sort of fool wit-
nessin’ is this anyhow?”
Leverage asked, “Gid, how come you
war snooping and spying, anyhow?”
Gid bridled, always sensitive to im-
peachment of his veracity. They were
trying to cross-examine him, that’s what
~—make a liar out of him. At first he
was angry enough to swear. A cunning
grin entered his sparse whiskers. As-
suming a childlike expression, he turned
first to Je’miah Bean. “They wropped
thar arms around each other like them
barren bean vines of your’n wropping
around the gyarden palings, i’gonnies.”
Next, guilelessly, he included the whole
school board. “Did I ever tell you how
Je’miah read his alminicker for. moon
signs to plant his fine beans by, and
aiskivered he had the wrong book what
was ten year old?” He broke out in
belly-churning laughter. Je’miah took on
a look like a suck-egg dog caught trying
to get juice out of a china nest-egg. But
Gid wasn’t through. “And did I ever tell
you all what Judge 0. P. Thompson of
the Circuit Co’t said about Jesse?”
Leverage got red and barked, “Well,
what?”
10—Authorities on Mother Goose
rhymes can answer these questions with-
out any hesitation:
(a) Who are made of “Snaps and
snails and puppy-dog’s tails”?
(b) Who went to fetch a pail of
water?
(¢c) Who met a Pie-man?
11—The city known as the “Windy
City’"is'. . 5
St. Louis Seattle
St. Paul Chicago
12—The Gadsden Purchase gave the
United States a tract of land now come
prising parts of . . .
Oklahoma and Utah
Texas and New Mexico
Colorado and Arizona
New Mexico and Arizona
13—If a friend of yours is studying
ceramics, you know that you can go to
him for information on . « .
radio movies
canning pottery
14—Many keep diaries, but few
diaries will ever be as famous as that
oso N 1 2
Napoleon
: dsworth
“Said your nose was flat kaze you
rummed it down reading in the code of
1838, and hadn’t had a fresh idee since
the Johnstown Flood. Even if you’d had
a new idee it would of paralyzed ye
Said he was going to have to put in a re
versing machine to take keer of your
decisions as fast as you made ’em!”
Jesse Leverage gulped like a catfish
three hours out of water. Gid turned hi
artillery on Hank Hicks.
“Best one I ever got on Hank, thar,
was the time when he had two wagins
in Bold Creek soaking on the tires. One
of the wagins was loaded with logs and
had a team of oxen hitched to it. *Tother
load was unhitched. Well; Hank he fi
gered he would give the bulls a little
boost, and grabbed one of the wheels
and hefted his shoulder to it and ye
‘Gee-whoap thar, cows!” He hefted
he was purple in the face as huckleb:
ries, but the wagin never budged. Ha
he look up to see how come the co
wasn’t making thar contribution, and
he was muscling the wrong wagin!”
There was a hush. i
Nanette’s cool voice came, very s m-
pathetic, “Uncle Gid, Uncle Je'miah is
top-dressing his beans with potash and
phosphate to neutralize the richness
nitrogen in his land, and he’ll make the
best beans in the country.” She co
Continued On Page 10
°K
15—The “Last Supper,” a picture of
eternal beauty, was painted by . pe
Rubens Leonardo da Vinei :
Rembrandt Raphael 4
16—If you’ve ever cried out, “A
horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse,”
you have been quoting . . .
Dickens Shakespeare
Dumas Zane Grey
17—The actress highly commended
for her work in “Victoria Regina,’
Broadway hit, is .
Ruth Gordon
Helen Hayes
> Melon Menken
Katherine Cornell
18—If you were swallowed by a
whale, you could sympathize with the
Biblical character who had such a terrie
fying experience. He was . « » 4
Joshua Job
Joseph Jonah
19—Here are some famous name
Can you match them?
Sherlock Holmes
Mr. Gallagher
Robinson Crusoe
Dr. Jekyll
Friday 8
Mr. Hyde
Dr. Watson
My. Shean