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~ Kingston every year?
VOL. 47
THE DALLAS POST,
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 10, 1937
: No. 30
POST
SCRIPTS
BURLESQUE
CALENDARS
LIGHTERS
HOCKEY
XMAS
Now that Dr. G. K. Swartz is relieved
of the burdensome job of President of
Dallas Borough School District (see ring:
side account at the bottom of this page)
we suggest that he be named as chairman
of a committee to inaugurate a local com-
munity banquet along the lines of the
famed Washington “Gridiron Club” pro-
ductions.
His latent literary talent, displayed so
convincingly in the lyrics to the “Swan
Song” he sang with Mr. Roberts at the
wild and wolly reorganization of Dallas
rns [)
"Borough School Board last Monday night
"makes him the logical candidate for the
fa: job. .
Why couldn't Dr. Swartz, Pete Clark,
Jim Oliver, Dan Waters, Ralph Rood,
Clyde Lapp. Harry Tennyson, “Doc” Jet:
er, G. T. Kirkendall and a few others
with similar talents get together and pro-
duce a burlesque of local events which
could be the big feature of a general
community banquet, such as the late and
beloved Charles Hess used to plan for
Seasonal Items: It looks like a good
year for calendar collectors. Some dazz-
~ ling specimens of the lithographer’s art
re TT
are awaiting the first of the year in local
establishments. About the biggest news
is the change of policy at Oliver's. Jim
Oliver’s calendars always were good for
long ‘“‘A-aca-a-a-ah’s” from admiring
menfolk. This year, Mr. Oliver announr-
ces, the lithesome lass on the calendar will
be fully-clothed. It is not known if the
change was dictated by the cold weather
or as the result of a discussion of calen-
dars recently between Mr. Oliver and the
Rev. Francis Freeman Add Woolbert.
Jr., whose calendars are usually big enouch
to plaster one wall of an ordinary sized
house, refuses to release any information
about his calendar until the prover time
arrives, but he intimates it will be worth
looking at Chief of Police Leonard
O'Kane is distributing cigarette lighters
and coat hangars to all patrons. He gave
us our choice the other day. We picked
a cigarette lichter. and we can report that
jt really did light. Better get around
early, though.
\ —p—
Alice K. Davies, daughter of Mr. and
Mrs. Stanley Davies of Dallas, was in
this column two weeks ago. She gets in
again this week because, as a member of
the hockey team at Vassar, she had her
picture in last Sunday's New York
Times.
3 o
Dorothy Carter contributes a “Plaint of
An Old-Timer™:
I moan the slenderness of Claus,
I decry the paucity of moss.
I abjure the lack of mistletoe,
Abhor the dearth of tally-ho.
I mourn the candy cane's demise;
I want’'my snowballs made of ice.
I demand a long and wooly sock,
To hang beneath the mantel clock;
(No smart, sheer thing which will not
take
Enough sweets for a stomach ache!)
I spurn that blue and silver stuff
Chic cherubs wearing not enough;
I wish a waxen angel hung,
From the fir tree’s topmost rung.
I will not have those acrid hues
Of purples, matves and cobalt blues;
For my Merry Christmas scene,
I insist on red and green!
I want my Santa fat and sleighed;
I want my reindeer old and splayed.
1 countenance no stream-lined gent
In aeroplane on business bent.
1 want my snow just left to lay—
Unshovelled by the WPA.
I may be a sentimental fool
But I refuse a modern Yule!
Toin me in this plea impassioned:
Keep our Christmastide old-fashioned
pr
Our roving correspondent and village
poet, Dick Lawley, gets credit for uncov-
ering a real example of kindness which
deserves public commendation. Dick re-
ports that just before Thanksgiving Mrs.
D. A. Betterly of Pioneer avenue and
Mrs. W. Riley, Mrs. McCarthy, Mrs. Rob-
ert Steele and Mrs. J. Bailey invaded
Stanley's store on Mt. Greenwood road
and bought about ten dollars worth ot
good things to eat, which they put into
baskets and left at needy and grateful
homes. Then Mrs. Betterly saw some:
thing which might bring more joy to
someone and she took $3.50 from her
own pocketbook and got that. Probably
some other big-hearted folk celebrated
Thanksgiving in the same generous way
(Continued on Page 3)
MOTHER NATURE DECORATES CHRISTMAS TREES EARLY
for the holidays, but the trees
Yuletide dawns. United State
Christmas trees each year.
tmas trees” which dot hillsides
trees represent a potential source
The first real snowfall of the- season this week
decorated these hemlock and pine trees in readiness
Typical of the fine “Chris
farmers.
may be gone before
s needs 50,000,000
near Dallas, these
of revenue for local mas.
well-tended nurseries.
can supply only about one-third of the 1,500,000
trees which are bought in Pennsylvania every Christ
The fact that scrub pine and hemlock spring
up on nearly every piece
should tip off farmers on what could be done with
of abandoned farm-land
Today Pennsylvania farmers
tice material” next year. For the
the tempting guarantees the city t
to take a beating.
Kingston Township High School, las
ced this week. The tentative schedule
schools in the spnyé, ifs with Kingston
Crack football teams in Wyoming Valley will have to look elsewhere for
KINGSTON TOWNSHIP WILL DROP
CITY TEAMS ON 1938 SCHEDULE
WILL PLAY ONLY TEAMS IN ITS OWN CLASS
«
‘prac-
old out to small schools which are willing
re
= time in years, local high schools will spurn
ims h
meee
t of the local schools to retain city teams
on its schedule, will drop them in 1938, J. A. Martin, supervising principal, announ-
for 1938 includes eight games, all with
Township. 3
‘ed its campaign against the practice of
permitting bigger squads from the valley
to pound the teams from this section all
‘schools here scheduled games with city
‘teams. Dallas Borough, Lehman and Dal-
las Township revised their schedules last
year and the year before. Kingston Town: |
ship played G. A. R. and Meyers High
!School from Wilkes-Barre and Plains
High School this year.
The K. T. H. S. schedule for next fall
follows:
October 1—Clark’s Summit, at Clark's
Summit,
October 8—Ashley High School, at
Ashley. ;
October 15—Wyoming High School, at
Wyoming.
October 22—Shickshinny High School,
at home. :
October 29—Dallas Township, at Dal-
las Township.
November 4—Forty Fort, at Forty Fort.
November 12—Jenkins Township, at
Jenkins Township.
November 19—Dallas Borough, at
home.
November 24—Lehman High School
(tentative)
In view of the stellar performance of
Coach Walter Hicks’ men this year great
hopes are held for their competition in the
{Luzerne County League next fall. The
[Kingston Township team won the Back
{Mountain Championship and finished near
‘the top in the county league.
|
High Jinks Usher The Three
New Directors Into
Office
The solemn presentation/of a 45-pound
sledge hammer as a gavel to George Ayre,
newly-elected president 6f Dallas*Borough
School Board, was only one”of the fan-
tastic things which took place when the
Dallas board reorganized on Monday
night. Altogether there were five offi-
cial and semi-official gatherings to mark
the departure of Dr. G. K. Swartz, presi
dent, Jack Roberts and Stanley B. Davies
and to welcome George Ayre, John T.
Jeter and William Baker, new directors.
During the official part of the evening's
program Mr. Ayre was elected president.
William Baker, vice-president, B. B.
Lewis, solicitor, and D. A. Waters, secs
retary.
The unofficial proceedings began with 2
chicken dinner served by the home eco-
nomics department and continued through
out the night as directors competed to sec
which one could conceive the most hil-
arious joke at the expense of his brother:
directors.
Unquestionably the high spot of the en
tire evening was the ‘Swan Song” by Ds
Swartz and Mr. Roberts. Lest it be lost
to posterity the Post publishes it today:
Good bye, boys, we're through,
Four years ago, wien the Post launch
Tears (of laughter)
Four Groups Vie
For Play Honors
Wyoming County Thespians
In Tournament Next
Wednesday
‘ty Dramatic Tournament on Wednesday
night at 8 in Beaumont High School.
The four plays to be presented are:
“Operation at One”, Mill City M. E.
Church, Kermet Ward, director.
“Hiram and the Peddler” or “Pin
Money”, Harmony Dramatic Club, ‘Ver-
non Grange; Arthur Shook, director.
“Two of a Kind”, Fideletis Class of
Centermoreland M. E. Church, Mrs. Oph-
elia Major, director.
“The Bride Wore Red Pajamas”, Beau-
mont Grange, William A. Austin, direc.
tor.
| Since Luzerne County has no entries,
there will be but one tournament this
year. Mill City has entered a vocal se-
lection by the Hobby Club in the music
contest. The Beaumont High School Or-
| chestra will play. Competent judges from
nearby counties will select the play to!
represent this district at the Farm Pro-
ducts Show in Harrisburg next January.
Amateur dramatic groups from Cen-
termoreland, Beaumont, Vernon and Mill
We're through with all the mess.
We're through with all the stress
Of trying to pay bills.
We're tired of the tax collector, who
Won't collect the dough.
We're fed up on the whole darn show.
So good bye, boys, good bye, boys,
good bye, boys, we're through.
Good bye, boys, we're through
We're tired of the code book.
Now isn’t that a fright,
We're tired of the fight.
And of the secretary,
That takes most of the night.
No wonder we are through.
So good bye, boys, good bye, boys,
good bye, boys, we're through.
Good bye, boys, we're through.
We're through with Clyde Lapp's
stories
That makes poor Tennyson blush.
We say good bye to you,
Without the slightest hush.
We're sorry for old Henry,
Way out upon the limb.
If you coax him he'll come in.
Good bye, boys, good bye, boys, good
bye, boys, we're through.
Good bye, boys, we're through.
We're tired of helping Bert
Uphold the Constitution.
A
City will compete in the Wyoming Coun- |
|Polacky Is Named
Postmaster Here
Kirkendall Ready To Take
Over New Job At
Whiteman’s
Joseph Polacky lt as
acting postmaster in Dallas Borough this
week, preparing to succeed George T.
Kirkendall, who is resigning to become a
erat @¢f the firm of H. A. Whiteman
., Inc.,, of Wilkes-Barre.
Notification of Mr. Polacky’s appoint
ment was received this week from the
Postmaster General. Mr. Kirkendall is
remaining on for a few days until his
successor becomes familiar with the work.
Mr. Polacky has been a resident of this
section for about twenty years, and has
been engaged in the contracting business.
He is widely known and his first few
days in office are being spent largely in
acknowledging the congratulations of his
friends who wish him success in his new
job.
As soon as Mr. Kirkendall can pass over
responsibility for the office to Mr. Polacky
he will take up his new duties at White-
man’s—probably a matter of a few days
more.
In verifying his appointment, Mr. Po-
lacky expressed himself as anxious to main-
tain the highest type of service through
the local post office. He begins his duties
at the busiest time of the year, when the
post office is approaching its peak load,
and one of his first requests was that the
people lighten the burden of the mail
carriers as much as possible by mailing
early and taking care that packages are
wrapped, tied and addressed properly.
People on R. F. D. routes can save the
carriers great inconvenience and speed
Christmas deliveries if they will remember
to buy their stamps when they are in
town, instead of purchasing them from
carriers.
For him the war is won
Or else it's just begun.
We couldn't stand more dinners,
Don’t you think we're getting thinner?
We're all washed up on you.
So good bye, boys, good bye, boys,
good bye, boys, we're through.
By some nice under-cover work the
other directors apparently had been 'tip-
ped off to the “Swan Song” for upon
completion of Dr. Swartz’ and Mr. Rob
erts’ melodic venture the other directors
burst®vociferously into their answer:
So, good bye, boys, you're through,
Too bad we ever met.
We say good bye to you,
Without the least regret.
You say you're tired, but don't we
know;
All this fatigue is just for show.
So good bye, boys, you're through.
Good bye, boys, good bye, boys,
A back seat for you.
After the meeting Dr. Swartz confes-
sed he had written the “Swan Song” and
D. A. Waters, board secretary, pleaded
guilty to responsibility for the respot se
The ninth grade home economics class
did itself proud in preparing the feast
which opened the evening's doings. At
that affair the directors gave short, hu
~
+ Bulford
Week On Final Plans; Will
(See Editorial
of his departure for a conference with
Highway Department.
bids will be sought immediately and
Mundy Moves To Clear
Obstacles
Senator Meeting With State Engineer At Harrisburg This
To By-Pass
Call Meeting Upon Return
To Reach Definite Agreement On Plans
SURE JOB WILL BE STARTED BY SPRING
on Page 2)
The long-awaited Luzerne by-pass will be started next Spring, Senator
Leo C. Mundy, Democratic leader, assured the Post this week on the eve
Chief Engineer Marshall of the State
As soon as possible after this week's conference at Harrisburg Senator
Mundy will call all interested groups together in an effort to agree definite-
ly upon the solution of remaining problems.
If that meeting is successful
the contract, will be let in plenty of
time for construction to begin early in the Spring.
The delay in concluding negotia-
Directors Elected
Last Month Seated
Ralph Elston Ig President Of
Dallas Township
Board
Directors on three local school boards
chose newly-elected members as presidents
tions with Wilkes-Barre Railway
Corp., which will turn its right-of-
way at Luzerne over to the by-pass,
is“the chief obstacle in the way of
the by-pass now.
The State Highway Department has its
construction plans completed and has ear-
marked money for its share of the job,
Senator Mundy said. Nothing can be
done, however, until the County Commiss-
ioners agree to pay for the property dam-
ages. :
for the next year at reorganization meet
ings on Monday night.
George Ayre, president of Dallas Boro-
|ugh board, S. R. Henning, new head of
| Kingston Township board, and Ralph El
|ston, president of the Dallas Township
board, all were elected in November and
are serving their first terms.
crat elected to office in this section last
month, will preside over the township
board - for the next year. Other officers
named were Russell Case, vice-president:
'C. J. Eipper, secretary; Arthur Newman.
treasurer; Granville Clark, solicitor.
"Mr. Henning, the new president of the
Kingston Township School Board, is prin-
cipal of G. A. R. Hieh School in Wilkes
Barre. His fellow-officers will be A.
George Prater, vice-president; Howard
urer; Attorney Arthur L. Turner, solici-
tor.
Lake Township School Board named O.
A. Allen, president; Russell Hoover. vice:
president: James B. Harris, solicitor:
William Hausch, secretary; W, B. Jeter.
treasurer.
Howard Crosby was elected president
in Lehman Township. Other officers are
Milton Culp, vice-president; C. S. Carev.
secretary: Dr. A. H. Brown, treasurer; At-
torney J. M. Scouton, solicitor.
In Jackson Township. where George
and Harvey Moss took office.
newly elected officers were: Ray Prutzman.
president: Ira Van Orden, vice-president:
Georoe Bulford. treasurer; and Peter J.
Jurchak, solicitor.
a RE
Farmers Invited
To Soil Meetin~
Farmers of Kunkle section are invited
to a meeting of the Soil Conservation
Committee at Kunkle Grange hall Thurs
dav Decemher 6. Melvin Mosier. dis.
trict chairman. and Grover Stock, countv
chairman, will have charge.
Mrs. J. I. Roe Heads
Seal Committee Here |
Mrs. J. Irving Roe of Shrine View has !
charge of Christmas Seal sales in Dallas
Borough. Mrs. Albert Groblewski 48 in
from the seals will be used by Wyoming
Valley Tuebrculosis Society in its com-
paign against tuberculosis.
Fall As School Directors Sing Their ‘Swan Song’
Dallas Board Changes Its |
Membership Amidst
Hilarity
exclude Clyde Lapp from the speakers
but public demand forced recognition of
his oratorical ability and he finally spoke
briefly, modestly taking credit for the im-
provement in the character of Dr. Swartz
and Mr. Roberts during their period on
the board.
At the regular meeting which followed
the dinner the directors heard reports and
accepted the audit submitted by L. W.
LeGrand.
Immediately after that session Dr.
Swartz and Mr. Roberts sat as a board
of judges to test the qualifications of the
three new directors, firing a bewildering
list of embarrassing questions at the no-
vitiates. It was during this meeting that
the retiring directors, satisfied with their
successors, sang the “Swan Song.”
Henry J. Disque, senior member of the
board, contributed to the nervousness of
the three new members when, as tempor-
ary chairman, he read their certificates of
election and solemnly administered the
oath of office, emphasizing
morous talks. A sly effort was made to
(Continued on Page 8)
Mr. Elston, who was the only Demo- |
Appleton, secretary; Edwin Hayes, treas- |
RE
charge of the sale in Trucksville. Mangus:
sonorously |
It is understood the Commissioners have
agreed unofficially to assume damages up
to the amount of $70,000, but the State
Highway Department fears the costs may
exceed that amount, and is unwilling to
begin construction until the County has
accepted full responsibility for damage
costs. 3
Differing with the Commissioners, who
complained recently that they have been
waiting for a set of plans which would
give them something definite upon which
to ‘estimate damages, Senator Mundy savs
the County has had such plans since last
August. He will, however, have more
detailed information after his conference
with Marshall.
| Governor Earle and Warren Van Dyke,
'Secretary of Highways, are intimately ac-
quainted with the problems of motorists
who use the present Luzerne road, Sena-
tor Mundy said, and are heartily in favor
‘of the proposed construction.
Senator Mundy is hopeful that the
meeting of highway men, County Com-
missioners, traction company officials and
other interested parties which he will call
upon his return from Harrisburg will re-
move final obstacles to the plan. “There
is no doubt in my mind,” he said, ‘but
that we shall have the by-pass under con-
struction by spring.”
eer:
State President
At Nexen Meeting
Parent-Teacher Groups To
Join For General
Session
Mrs. Catherine Hall of Williamsport,
State president of Parent-Teacher Assoc
iations, will speak next Monday night in
the theatre at Noxen at a meeting to
which PTA members from this section
have been invited.
Groups of parents from as far north
as Laceyville will attend the meeting, be-
ginning at 7:30. Each group will be re-
presented on the pre-arranged program of
entertainment.
Conservation Groun
To Meet At Lehman
A meeting of Luzerne County Aericul
tural Conservation Association will be
| held next Wednesday at 2 p. m. at the
Lehman M. E. church for Jackson, ILeh-
man and Lake Townships. There will be
election of officers.
THE LOW DOWN
HICKORY GROVE
About every other day, when you
pick up a paper, you will see where
they are shooting another dozen or
one-half dozen in Russia. Pretty soon
they are gonna have to do quite a
little lookin’ around, to find people
to shoot. Like in the early days in
the U. S., they had plenty of buffalo
and they thought they would never
run out of em, and they shot ‘em
just for a buffalo robe.
Some day it may be the same in
Russia. It is kinda funny that you
will find people here in the U. S. A.
favorin' making over our own Govt.
and ‘try out some foreign idea, or
some new ism or asm that has not
been used, but sounds great.
The ducks talkin® up these big
ideas would not be so hot for ‘em,
except they figure they maybe can
be the top sergeant, with a nice new
job, and a new fur lined overcoat—
and not the guy standin’ up against
the wall.
Yours with the low down,
JO SERRA