LOVES OATMEAL
MORE THAN EVER
‘® Once you learn that oatmeal is so rich.
in Vitamin B for keeping fit*, ISIT ANY
WONDER THAT FHOUSANDS
STICK TO OATMEAL BREAKFASTS?
Many are nervous, poor in appetite,
system out of order, because their daily
iets lack enough of the precious Vita-
min B for keeping fit*.
Few things keep them back likea lack
of this protective food element.
So give everyone Quaker Oats every
morning. Because in addition to its gen-
«erous supply of Vitamin B for keepin,
fit,* it furnishes food - energy, muscle an
body-building ingredients. For about Y45¢
per dish.
Start serving it tomorrow for a 2-weeks
test. Quaker Oats has a wholesome, nut-
like, luscious appeal to the appetite.
Flavory, surpassingly good. All grocers
supply it.
a *Where poor condition is due to lack of Vitamin B
IN VITAMIN B FOR KEEPING FIT . . .
i 1c worth of
a] Quaker Oats
equals
3 cakes of Fresh Yeast
S=)
i : Quaker and Mother's Oats are the same
But That'll Change
A man can start life with a shoe-
ITT ES
OF WOMEN
t Have Discovered |
| KLE tonomyy.
BIG
CAN
ounces
10¢
Esperanto Taught
Esperanto is being taught at Liver
pool university in England.
THE DOCTORS
ARE RIGHT
Women should take only
a liquid laxatives
Many believe any laxative they
might take only makes constipation
worse. And that isn’t true.
Do what doctors do to relieve
this condition. They use a liquid
y THREE STEPS :
T0 RELIEVING
I CONSTIPATION
= h
2 PE) EE mn d
A cleansing dose today; a smaller
quantity tomorrow; less each time,
until bowels need no help at all.
laxative, and keep reducing the
dose until the bowels need no help
at all.
Reduced dosage is the secret of
aiding Nature in restoring regularity.
You must use a little less laxative
each time, and that’s why your laxa-
tive should be in liquid form. A liquid
dose can be regulated to the drop.
The liquid laxative generally used
is Dr. Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin. It
contains senna and cascara— both
natural laxatives that form no habit
even ‘with children. Syrup Pepsin is
the nicest tasting, nicest acting laxa-
tive you ever tried.
“The Daily Use of
; ~ CUTICURA SOAP
{| Helps Relieve Irritation
And assists in keeping your
skin in good condition. Con-
taining super-creamy emol-
lient and medicinal properties,
Cuticura Soap, used regu-
L/ larly, soothes and protects the
skin,
Price 25 cents
string and now not have even that.
{s
AX i
\
THE DALLAS POST, DALLAS, PA., FRIDAY, OCTOBER 25, 1935
FLOYD GIBBONS
Adventurers’ Club
-\, “Big Gun Roars”
~ By FLOYD GIBBONS
Famous Headline Hunter.
IG yourselves in, boys and girls. Crawl into your bombproof
shelters and lay low, while I tell you the story of the big artillery
maneuvers that took place five years ago in Andy Dana’s back yard.
It was just a little one-shot war that Andy started, but like all wars, it
brought tragedy in its wake—like all wars it started with a bit of sheer, doggone
foolishness,
But before we go into the story of that, let's introduce Webster
Goodwin, the lad who sent the yarn to me.
Web Goodwin is off firearms for life now.
Once before he nearly cashed in
his check when a shotgun went off behind him and took a few hairs off the
crown of his head.
Guns Are Nasty Things to Monkey With.
He should have quit playing with guns then and there, he admits, but it
tnok an even closer shave to convince him, finally, that a mixture of powder
and shot is a sort of bad combination to be fooling with.
It is that last narrow
squeak that we're going to hear about now.
It was a beautiful day in July, and over in Andy Dana’s yard was
an outboard motor racing boat that some of the boys in the neighbor-
hood were putting in shape.
Web strolled over there and met Andy coming around the corner of his
garage with a small, old-fashioned, cast-iron cannon in his arms.
“Want to hear some noise?’ Andy asked him. And Web said, “Sure.
have it.”
Let’s
About that time Frank Stacy came over from next door, and the three of
them set about loading the cannon.
Andy had shot the cannon off once before, he told them, using the
powder from three shotgun shells,
powder from five shells.
It was a small cannon, about a foot and a half long.
Now he was going to try it with
Andy broke open
five shotgun shells and tamped the powder into the muzzle.
Necessity Again Proves to Be Mother of Invention.
He didn’t have any fuse, but then he hadn’t had any when he set the
cannon off the first time, either.
Andy had an inventive turn of mind, and he
had figured out a way to get along without fuses altogether.
Andy’s scheme was a pretty simple one, at that.
In place of a fuse he
\ |
Na
= se ,,
Se J 9h
= A
' The Cannon Went Off with a Roar That Rocked the Ground.
used a match—one of those big, old-fashioned matches of the sort that you can
strike ‘anywhere,
He put that match, head-downward in the hole of the cannon, so that its
business end rested on the bottom inside part of the piece.
The idea was to tap the match with a stick, causing it to ignite and set
fire to the powder inside.
When he got everything all set, Andy asked for a stick.
o:
Web
started to go over to the woodpile to get a long one, but Andy picked
up a piece of board about two feet long and said that would do.
Some-
how, Weh didn’t like the idea of Andy’s standing that close to the
cannon.
He himself stood back a ways, as Andy got ready to strike the match,
and Frank Stacy was even more cautious.
He went over and crawled behind
the woodpile. And, as things turned out, Frank was the one who had the right
idea.
All Ready for the Big Noise.
Andy raised his stick to tap the match, and Web, standing 25 feet or so
behind the cannon, shut his eyes, held his hands over his ears, and opened his
mouth to equalize the pressure on his ear drums.
. The cannon went off with a roar that rocked the ground Web was
standing on.
And, at the same time, something brushed his cheek and
wrist at about the spot where, with his palms covering his ears, they
came together.
Web opened his eyes, then, and turned around. As he turned he saw some-
thing that looked like a baseball, going through the air like a Texas leaguer,
and moving away from him,
and dirt clods.
Then he looked up and saw the air full of grass
Death Will Never Come Closer to Web. .
“It dawned on me then,” says Web, “that the cannon had blown up and
that the thing that looked like a baseball was the round knob on the back end.
It had gone through between my shoulder, wrist and cheek—a space of about
two and one-half inches, without even drawing blood. We found and weighed
that chunk of iron later.
“It weighed just a few ounces over three pounds. 1 still get a
creepy feeling every time | think of what would have happened if that
three-pound piece of iron had moved over, just a fraction of an inch in
its course, and hit me in the face.
“While all this was going through my mind, I heard a yell from Frank Stacy,
over by the woodpile.
“‘He’s hit,” ” Frank shouted, “and I turned to look for Andy. He was lying
on his back, blood gushing from his right side, and I ran over to him and made
him lie still where he was while Frank ran up to his house and sent for a doec-
tor.
two big pieces of iron out of him.
Fifteen minutes later they took Andy off to the hospital, where they took
“] had about as narrow an escape as anybody could have without
getting hurt, but Andy had a narrower one
died.”
than I did. He darned near
Well, sir, I don’t want to get into any argument about who had the nar-
rowest escape. I got into an argument once about who caught the biggest fish,
and it doggone near ruined me socially.
But I'll print all the narrow escapes I can get hold of,
©—WNU Service
London Bridge Situated
at Head of Navigation
London bridge is the first or farth-
est down of the bridges across the
Thames at London. It is situated at
the head of navigation, about a half
mile above the Tower of London.
But the present London bridge is
not the one celebrated in the nursery
song, nor in the proverb to the effect
that “London bridge was made for
wise men to pass over and fools to
pass under.” That famous old bridge,
which stood for more than 600 years,
was finally demolished more than a
century ago.
The site has probably been the lo-
cation of a bridge Trom very early
times in London’s history, notes a writ-
er in the Cleveland Plain Dealer. But
the earliest bridge in this location is
not mentioned until the Eleventh cen-
tury. It was a wooden structure which
was destroyed by a storm and high
tide November 16, 1091.
The first stone bridge, the famous
bridge spoken of above, was built be-
tween 1176 and 1209 on a wooden foun-
dation. It consisted of 20 arches. The
roadway was 926 feet long, 60 feet
above the water and 40 feet wide.
Houses were built upon the bridge, and
in the course of time it became a con-
tinuous street with three openings on
each side of the river.
The buildings on the bridge were
repeatedly devastated by fire, most
notably in the great fire of 1666. The
eleventh span from the Southwark end
formed a drawbridge flanked by a tow-
er built in 1426, and on top of which
were stuck the heads of persons exe-
cuted for treason. All the superstrue-
tures were removed in 1757. In 1832
the old bridge itself was torn down, the
new London bridge having been opened
the year before.
The Irish Terrier
In appearance the Irish terrier is
quite similar in outline to the wire hair
fox terrier, but is larger and heavier
and red in color. His head should be
long and lean, his eyes small, his ears
V-shaped, buttoned over and set on top
of his head. -
\
| favorite couch at the Press club.
\
© New York Post—WNU Service.
Let Guest Tell
of Tribulations
as Sports Ed
.
Ernest L. Meyer, who writes the column
“As the Crow Flies,” takes over Hugh
Bradley’s assignment today to discuss his
trials and tribulations while acting as
sports editor of a family journal a few—
quite a few—years back.
By ERNEST L. MEYER
Eyeny time | read Hugh Bradley's |
sparkling department | recall my
own and not very scintillating career
as sports editor. 1 recall it without
difficulty, but not without pain.
It happened about 18 years ago when
1 was doing general assignments for
the defunct Milwaukee Daily News and
could be found most any hour of the
day peacefully sleeping on a davenport
at the Press club. It seems that our
regular sports editor, after ruminating
about life all evening at the Schlitz
Palm Garden, was seized by a hanker-
ing for travel. He left immediately, on
the midnight freight with a quart of
gin, and never came back. We never
heard from him again.
When I drifted into the office the fol- |
lowimg day with a yarn about the em-
balmers’ convention, the city editor, a
ruthless person named Dean Kirk,
grabbed me. :
“You're sports editor,” he said.
“I’m not,” | objected. “I don’t know
a boxing glove from a pneumatic bi-
‘cycle seat.”
“Can’t help it. &ou’ve got to fill in
| till we make other arrangements. Dust
out to the ball grounds now and phone
in the dope for the sports pink.”
I dusted, yearning for a nap on my
The
wooden seats in the press box on top
of the grand stand were devilishly hard.
I asked Art Schinners, who covered
sports for the Evening Wisconsin, how
the deuce one writes up a ball game.
“Easy,” he said. ‘Never call a ball
a ball or a home run a home run.”
I got the idea. A good sports writer
in those days would call a baseball a
pellet, a horsehide, a globule, a pill or |
a spheroid. If he called it a baseball
his readers wouldn’t know what he was
talking about.
Somehow, I struggled through a
whole month without calling a home
run a home run, so my stories were
always lucid and readily comprehend-
ed. On one occasion, however, Dean
Kirk “called” me.
“What,” he said, “does this mean?”
He pointed to a sentence in my yarn
which read: “Southpaw Master spat
into his upholstery, wound his hefty
left up like a windmill in a Missouri
tornado, and then shot over a redhot
Smith Brothers.”
“Why that,” 1 explained patiently,
“means he threw a drop.” |
I hed never in my life seen a boxing
match. But the managers and fighters
used to drop in, ask for the sports edi-
tor, and hand me large, fat cigars.
0D
“What chance has my man Wildcat
Levinsky got against Kid Cuckoo?” the
manager would ask me, as man to man,
And I would lean over and say con-
fidently :
«Listen, Mr. Molloy. The kid won't
have a chance once he runs into that
right ham of your fighting windmill.
The Kid's good at dancing, you under-
stand, but his ballet bouncing won't
help him once Wildcat connects with
his triphammer.”
“Sure, that’s just how | got it sized
up. It'll be a cinch,” the manager
would say, and hand me a couple more
cigars, greatly pleased at my expert
opinion.
Then the manager for Kid Cuckoo
would breeze in and say:
“Now about this match Friday night.
D’ye think Wildcat Levinsky has a
look-in with my bird?”
“Listen, Mr. Solomons,” I would re-
ply seriously, “here’s what I think.
wildcat won't have a chance once he
runs into that right ham of your fight-
ing windmill. Wildecat’s good at toe
dancing, you understand, but his ballet
bouncing won’t help him once Kid
Cuckoo connects with his triphammer.”
“Now you're talking!” Mr. Solomons
would shout. Then he'd give me three
or four rich, ripe stogies. It was fun
being sports editor. :
Everything was rosy till the big
match came off. I've forgotten the de-
tails. All that I remember is that in
the third round one of the fighters did
make a connection with the tripham-
mer.
1 fainted.
Next day one of the fellows on an-
other sheet had a funny feature story
with the headline: “Sports Editor
Knocked Out in Third.”
Ballet Bouncing
Vs. Triphammers
~
HINGS the box score never told
me:
: * x *
Persons. interested in keeping the
Olympics out of Germany should in-
vestigate the case of Baron Gottfried
von Cramm, the Davis Cup star. Orig-
inally it had been arranged that Don-
ald Budge and Gene Mako were to play
in the German tennis championships
and in return the baron was to come
to the United States for the nationals.
Then the trade fell through and now
it seems that not only will the Ger-
man star be prevented from coming to
this country but also he will be barred
from the 1936 trophy team as Dr. Dan-
iel Prenn was this year.
The reason? Could it be that Hitler
discovered that the baroness was Jew-
ish and that therefore the baron must
be anti-Nazi and unfit to represent his
native country in a sports event?
Lester Doctor, betting commissioner
for the Whitneys, has handled more
money than any man
on the racetracks.
Payne Whitney was
the biggest plunger of
the tribe, . .. To make
sure that Art Lasky
would work himself
back into condition
Brother-Manager
Maurice put the heavy-
weight on the Los An-
geles water works pay
roll at $4 a day. . ..
In spite of Bill Terry’s
rule against Giants’
talking to Dizzy Dean, Hughie Critz
and Allyn Stout still bandy words with
the pitcher. Stout once was a team-
mate of the elder Dean and so natural-
ly cannot be prevented from saying
“Howdy” now and then. Critz hits
Dizzy so hard, so well and so often
that it would be a crime to prevent him
from crowing a bit about it. Certainly
the dizzy one does more than his share
of crowing.
Forty-seven baseballs, with a whole-
sale value of $58.75, were lost in the
crowd during a St. Louis-Cincinnati
night game this summer, . . . The
Yankees, because the stands are so
convenient that 60 balls often have dis-
appeared during one game, spend from
$10,000 to $11,000 for baseballs each
season. . . . This is the biggest bill in
the American league, the other clubs
averaging about $7,000. . . . George
Moriarty says that he throws out more
baseballs during a season than any
other umpire. That is largely because
he figures, quite correctly, that when
an overhand pitcher sails the ball there
must be something wrong with it. . . .
He recalls one Boston game where he
had to throw out only four balls,
though, and Nick Altrock will tell you
that he used only one ball while pitch-
ing a game for the White Sox back in
1906 or 1907.
Could it be that the Hearst charities
Dizzy Dean.
George Throws Out
Ball Players, Too
moter, are planning to go in for pro-
fessional tennis? Or could it be those
youthful reporters who have been left
out in the cold on the prize fight pro-
moting end of the newspaper business
were merely kidding when they spoke
of big dough while tempting Fred
Perry to perform at Yankee stadium
after the national championships?
The tip-off on U. S. C.’s football pros-
spects may be found in the fact that
the Trojans have booked a game with
Hawaii university at Honolulu for New
Year’s day. ... Although he breeds sad-
dle horses that win blue ribbons at na-
tional shows and although he is a trot-
ting race devotee, Bill Brown, the box-
ing commissioner, never has been in-
side any park where the thoroughbreds
run for money.
Are the Yankees sure that Joe Di
Maggio, the outfielder who will come
from San Francisco Seals in the spring,
is not another of those athletes with
trick knees a la Steve Hamas? . .. The
daughter of Steve O’Neill, Cleveland
manager, won a prize this year for be-
ing the best all-around athlete at a
girls’ school. . . .. The most reckless
of all fighters when driving an auto-
mobile ig Paulino Uzcudun. He doesn’t
THEY OUGHTA MAKE
TNESE ROADS WIDER
--Z CAT EVEN —
MTA [00 Pa =
think he is moving unless he is doing
75 miles per hour. . , . Danno O’Ma-
"honey, the wrestling champion, has a
brother named, of all names, Florence.
Signs posted over the Saratoga race-
track call attention to section 968 of
the New York penal code concerning
bookmaking and pool selling. This is
the first time that the signs have ap-
peared and it is a reminder that the
game still is not quite legal here. . . .
Also it may be that there is consider-
able tension between the Jockey club
and the Racing commission, the latter
group taking too much for granted by
building betting booths, forbidden in
the law.
K. O. Christner now operates one of
Akron’s most prosperous tobacco shops.
. « . Shufflin’ Phil Douglas is pitching
semi-pro ball around Chicago. He
twirls for the Mills team, which has
produced such celebrated south side
athletes as Jocko Conlan of the White
Sox and Johnny McCarthy of the Dodg-
ers.
Al Vanderbilt (some people call him
Alfred Gwynne Vanderbilt) is one of
1 early to watch their horses train.
the few wealthy owners who get up
and Jack Curley, the wrestling pro- |
{
|
RIDER
5-23
)
A Midafternoon Bite
When the kiddies come home from
school in the afternoon they may feel
somewhat hungry. It is better to
give them an apple or a piece of
some other kind of fruit than to let
them have candy, cookies or cake.
The fruit will not interfere with the
appetite, but will have a beneficial
effect. THE HOUSEWIFE.
© Publie Ledger, Tnc.—WNTU Service.
What Happened?
What makes us wonder about his.
tory in general is listening in traffic
court to the testimony of two eye-
witnesses to the same collision.—
Richmond Times-Disptach.
She |ron
- INSTANT LIGHTING
Iron the easy way in one-third less time
with the Coleman. Iron in comfort any
place. It’s entirely self-heating. No cords
or wires. No weary, endless trips between
a hot stove and ironing board. Makes its
own gas. Burns96% air. Lights instantly
—mno pre-heating. Operating cost only
¥2¢ an hour. See your local dealer or
write for FREE Folder.
THE COLEMAN LAMP & STOVE CO.
Dent, WORE Tl Eo fan nA SE
Bright North Star
The north star is brighter than the
sun, /
If You Eat Starches
Meats, Sweets Read This
They’re All Necessary Foods
= But All Acid - Forming.
Hence Most of Us Have “Acid
Stomach’ At Times. Easy
Now to Relieve.
Doctors say that much of the so-
called “indigestion,” from which so
many of us suffer, is really acid in-
digestion . . . brought about by too
many acid-forming foods in our
modern diet. And that there is now a
way to relieve this . . . often in
minutes!
Simply take Phillips’ Milk of
Magnesia after meals. Almost im-
mediately this acts to neutralize the
stomach acidity that brings on your
trouble. You “forget you have a
stomach!”
Try this just once! Take either the
familiar liquid “PHILLIPS”, or,
now the convenient new Phillips’
Milk of Magnesia Tablets. But be
sure you get Genuine “PHILLIPS’”.
‘Also in Tablet Form:
Phillips’ Milk of Magnesia Tablets
are now on sale at all drug stores [$8
everywhere. Each tiny
tablet is the equiva-
lent of a teaspoonful
of Genuine Phillips’
Milk of Magnesia.
Watch Your
Kidneys /
Be Sure They Properly
Cleanse the Blood
YOUR kidneys are constantly filter-
ing waste matter from the blood
stream. But kidneys sometimes lag in
their work—do not act as nature in-
tended—fail to remove impurities that
pojson the system when retained.
: fon you may suffer nagging back-
ache, dizziness, scanty or too frequent
urination, getting up at night, swollen
limbs; feel nervous, miserable—
all upset.
Don’t delay! Use Doan’s Pills.
Doan’s are especially for poorly func-
tioning kidneys. They are recom-
mended by grateful users the country
over. Get them from any druggist.
DOANSPILLS