—
a
EN
|
|
,0il on her person.
Billings Child Knew Just
Where That Clam Went
The Billings child on her Sunday
visit to the beach picked up a clam-
shell and regarded it meditatively.
~ “Now I wonder where that clam
has gone to?’ she inquired.
Neither parent responded. Four-
year-olds dre always wondering
something, and Billings was busy
resting in the hot sand, while Mrs.
Billings was busy rubbing sunburn
“I wonder where that clam has
gone to?” repeated the Billings child.
No answer being forthcoming she
demanded loudly:
“Mommie, do you want to know
‘where that clam has gone to? Dad-
dy, do you want to know: where that
clam has gone to?”
Both parents averred absently
that they did.
The Billings child tossed aside the
empty shell, picked up her pail and
shovel and started for the water. In
departing she remarked:
“It’s crawled into an oyster shell
and is going around fooling people.”
—New York Sun.
Trouble Maker
Usually a man who is worried
about “the future of civilization” ir
going to make trouble for people.
Find
Out
From Your Doctor
if the “Pain” Remedy
You Take Is Safe.
Don’t Entrust Your
Own or Your Family's
Well - Being to Unknown
Preparations
" TYEFORE you take any prepara-
B tion you don’t RS oh oe
for the relief of headaches; or the
pains of rheumatism, neuritis or
neuralgia, ask your docfor what he
thinks about it —in comparison
with Genuine Bayer Aspirin.
. We say this because, before the
discovery of Bayer Aspirin, most
so-called “pain” remedies were ad-
vised against by physicians as being
bad for the stomach; or, often, for
the heart. And the discovery of
Bayer Aspirin largely changed
medical practice.
Countless thousands of people.
who have taken Bayer Aspirin year
in and out without ill effect, have
proved that the medical findings
about its safety were correct.
Remember this: Genuine Bayer
Aspirin is rated among the fastest
methods yet discovered for the relief
of headaches and all common pains
. « . and safe for the average person
* to take regularly.
You can get real Bayer Aspirin at
any drug store — simply by never
asking for it by the name “aspirin”
alone, but always saying BAYER
ASPIRIN when you buy.
Bayer Aspirin
Many Churches in London
Greater London now has a church
to every 1,810 persons.
SIMPLE SIMON
MET A PIEMAN
AND ORDERED THREE OR FOUR;
HE NOW EATS TUMS
WHEN HEARTBURN COMES . oo”
DON'T SUFFER ANY MORE!
Stop SAYING “NO“
TO FAVORITE FOODS
T isn’t only pie that disagrees with some
people. Many say that even milk gives them
a gassy stomach. The very best foods may
bring on acid indigestion, sour stomach, gas,
heartburn. Millions have found that Tums
quickly relieve acid indigestion, Munch 3 or 4
after meals or whenever smoking, hasty eating,
last night’s party, or some other cause brings
«on acid indigestion. Tums contain no harsh
alkalies, which physicians have said may ine
crease the tendency toward acid indigestion.
Instead an antacid which neutralizes stomach
acid, but never over-alkalizes the stomach er
blood. You'll like their minty taste. Only 10c.
TUMS
TUMS ARE A B=2{[1)
ANTACID. ... Jrouadi===
NOT A LAXATIVE gis HANDY TO CARRY
F R E E = This week—at your druggist’'s—Beau-
= tiful 5 Color 1935-1936 Calendar Ther-
mometer with the purchase of a 10c roll of Tums
or a 25¢ box of NR (The All Vegetable Laxative.)
WNU—3 40—35
: PARKER'S
4 HAIR BALSAM
Bl Removes Dandruff-Stops Hair Falling,
i Imparts Color and
by ye Beauty io Gray and Faded Hair
N\A . 3
WZ Hiscox Chem. Wis. Phtshopae, N.Y.
FLORESTON SHAMPOO == Ideal for use in
connectionwith Parker's Hair Balsam. Makes the
hair soft and fluffy. 60 cents by mail or at drug-
- gists. Hiscox Chemical Works, Patchogue, N.Y. |
| lap the hands of his attendants.
| wants more petting to appease his dis-
“Quicker Than the Eye”
By FLOYD GIBBONS
Famous Headline Hunter.
LITTLE slow music, and up with the curtain. Hang onto your
watches, boys and girls, and don’t go lending anybody your silk
hat unless you want it turned into a rabbit's nest, for here comes
Halton, the Magician—Nat Halton with his deck of fifty-two individ-
ually trained cards, to give us a demonstration of the wonders that—
Wait a minute—what’s that, Nat? I’m sorry, boys and girls, it’s my mistake.
Nat isn’t here to give a demonstration.
He’s here to tell us a story—the story
of a jam he got into about thirty years ago, in the town of El Oro, way down on
the other side of the Mexican border—a jam that not even a magician could get
out of without a little luck on the side.
Nat was visiting in Mexico City when a friend invited him out to the little
mining town of El Oro to entertain some of the boys who worked in the mines.
He went to El Oro, put up at a little hotel in the town, and that night put on a
show that was attended by a good portion of the town’s inhabitants. The show
was run off in a hall in the center of the town.
Nat had a good, appreciative
audience and he enjoyed every minute of the two hours during which he enter-
tained them with his card tricks and feats of sleight-of-hand.
When the show was over he went back to the hotel and went to
bed. But the next morning, at 5:30,
he was awakened by a loud knock
on the door. When he opened it, a tough looking gent pushed his way
into the room and told Nat to get dressed.
Nat didn’t feel like getting dressed at 5:30 in the morning, and he told the
stranger so. But the stranger pulled out a gun and stuck it in Nat’s ribs, and
Nat started getting into his clothes. When Nat asked the bird what he wanted
of him, the stranger said: “You know.”
get out of him.
Nat Is Credited With
After repeated questioning, though,
And that was every word Nat could
Pretty Good Magic.
the man finally told Nat what the
trouble was. A deed to a mining claim had disappeared from his pocket the
night before, and he thought Nat had stolen it. And when Nat pointed out that
he hadn’t even been near him all during the performance, the fellow said:
“You wouldn't have to go near a man to take things out of his pocket. Didn't
you make cards pass from one fellow’s pocket to another?”
Well, sir, Nat was flattered that
anybody should take his sleight-of-
hand tricks that seriously, but it didn’t help the situation any. “I no-
ticed,” he says, “that the man’s eyes were dilated and bloodshot. Was °
he a dope fiend? If he was, | was in real danger. The one thing in my
favor was that he gave me credit for more power than | possessed. It
was my one advantage, so | used it to stall for time.
| told him we
would go out and find his deed, thinking if we got out on the street |
could find some help.”
But out on the street, there wasn’t any help in sight. Nobody gets up early
in Mexico, and at that hour there wasn’t a soul awake, The man, with hig gun
in Nat's back, took him to a small cabin on the edge of the town. There was
Nat Was Stalling.
His Eye Fell on the Papers.
a pile of papers on the floor in the center of the front room, and a woman was
peeping through a nearly closed door. The woman’s eyes, too, were dilated and
bloodshot—also the eyes of a drug fiend.
Nat was still stalling for time, and
his eye fell on the papers piled in the
center of the floor. Realizing it would take the man ten or fifteen minutes to go
through those papers, he pointed to them dramatically, and said: “Look, there,
and you will find your deed.”
‘A Magician Gets His Wits A-Working.
The man objected. He said he had
just looked through those papers, and
that’s how they happened to be there.. But Nat repeated his command, and the
man began his search.
“] knew then,” says Nat, “that | must plan my escape quickly, and
do it in some way that would be
acceptable to my captor. Force
wouldn’t get me anywhere, for the woman in the back room had come
out now, and was holding a shotgun pointed at me.
Imagine my sur-
prise when the man suddenly rose from the floor holding a’ document
and said: ‘Here it is,’ and then added: ‘But you put it back.””
Nat pointed out that he hadn’t been anywhere near that pile of papers on
the floor, but the man reminded him again that anyone who could make cards
pass from one man’s pocket to another wouldn’t have to. However, by this time
he was disposed to be more friendly, and invited Nat to have a drink with him.
Then after a few whispered words with the woman, he asked Nat if he could
tell him what number would win the capital prize in the Mexican National lot-
tery that month.
Well, sir, by this time Nat was beginning to get mad at the high-handed
way this bird had treated him.
“Here,” he says, “was my chance to get even.
So I told him that I couldn’t give him the exact number, but that number thir-
teen was going to be very lucky in the next drawing, and advised him to buy all
the tickets he could find that had thirteen in the serial number.
I have never
seen that man from that day to this, but I hope he sold his guns to buy lottery
tickets, so that if, by any chance, we should meet again, he won’t have any
firearms left to greet me with.”
Well, that’s the first time I ever heard of a lottery doing any good for
humanity. But you can do the world a lot of good by sending me that story of
yours, Johnny. And don’t forget to be here tomorrow, when we draw the story
of Rita May Murphy, of New York city, in the big, all-time lottery of adventure.
©—WNU Service
Rabies, Unlike Running
Fits, Not Sudden Attack
The rabid dog is not generally con-
vulsed. Rabies, unlike running fits,
does not come on suddenly, but rather
gradually develops over a period of a
week or ten days of abnormal actions
which finally evolve into either the
furious or dumb form of the disease,
advises a writer in the Los Angeles
Times.
Rabies sets in with a variety of
peculiar manifestations, in brief, those
expressive of anxiety mingled with
fear. The dog appears in a troubled
state of mind and usually appeals for
sympathy. He is prone to become
more affectionate and to excessively
He
tress. Restlessness is a marked early
symptom as is also the fact that he
is easily startled. He continually paces
about, except for an occasional pause.
Refusing food, he shows a marked de-
praved appetite for inedible substances
such as sticks and stones, or he may
chew his bedding.
It is often noted that a rabid dog
will continually lap woodwork about
the house, such as floors and furni-
ture. Thirst is decidedly increased,
but the dog does not swallow very
much of the water. This is because he
cannot swallow as his throat is becom-
ing paralyzed, a condition which will
shortly be followed by paralysis of the
jaw, causing it to drop and the mouth
to remain open,
“d” Abbreviation for “Penny”
The sign “d” in English money is the
abbreviation for “penny.” It stood
originally for the Latin denarius, a
coin of value equivalent toe the Anglo-
Saxon penny. Medieval money changers
continued its use as an abbreviation
for the penny and gave it a fixed place
in English custom. A penny is ap-
proximately equal in value to 2 cents.
The half penny is therefore about the
equivalent of our cent.
© New York Post—WNTU Service.
Athletes Are
All Slaves to
OI’ Man Jinx
HE figure “2” is all Gene Sarazen
needs to keep him happy, no mat-
ter how many black cats are wander-
ing around. He was born in 1902, be-
came a caddy in 1912, won the P. G. A.
and the national open in 1922, tri-
umphed in the British and American
opens in 1932 and believes that he can-
not lose a match started on the second,
twelfth or twenty-second days of the
month.
The day before he met Jess Willard
a gypsy fortune teller informed Jack
Dempsey that he could
not lose. He still be-
lieves that had a great
deal to do with his
winning the title. On
the other hand, Wil-
lard feels that he
might have done much
better if a black duck
had not fallen dead at
“his feet while he was
taking a walk that
day.
Any race fan will
tell you that if you
tear the corners off your program you
will have good luck, because the jinx
has nothing on which to light.
If the weeds in a marshy area in
South Jersey turn jet black in the fall,
Princton knows that it will beat Yale
in football.
Gar Wood, the speedboat champion,
insists that two Teddy Bears must
trail at the stern of his boat during a
race.
A pair of baby shoes tied to the
steering wheel was all that Pete De-
Paola needed to convince him that he
could win an automobile race.
A small ivory goat, presented to him
by his godmother, must be in his
pocket before Lester Stoefen can have
any luck in a tennis match.
No matter how good his arm feels,
Dempsey.
| Red Lucas knows that he will be
knocked out of the box any day when
he fails to step over the foul line right
foot first.
No matter where he is, Barney Ross
sends for his favorite Chicago barber
to cut his hair. It's expensive, but
Barney’s a champion.
George Dempsey, the six-day bicycle
rider, has different ideas about his hair.
He will not permit it to be cut during
a race or four weeks previous to one.
Whenever Pepper Martin is in a bat-
ting slump he chases the jinx by
changing room-mates.
Jockeys are like other people. They
enjoy seeing their pictures in the pa-
pers but they seldom will pose for
one before a race.
Horses also refuse to take chances.
Monarchist, a great thoroughbred of
many years ago, would not run unless
his jockey wore a coat over the bright
silks.
Some athletes gnash their teeth at
fate, but Jim Barnes always found bet-
ter use for his molars. He used them
to chew a lucky sprig of purple clover,
just as Johnny Dundee used to trail
success in the ring by gnawing at a
match stick.
When the Louisiana Lottery was
running you could win a fortune if you
played No. 6 after seeing a stray dog.
No. 14 was the one to put your money
on if you glimpsed a drunken man.
Carnegie Tech students believe that
if the football coach wears a derby at
games the team is sure to score plenty
of touchdowns. To make sure that
nothing goes wrong, they take up a col-
lection to buy the hat.
* x %
Travis Jackson says that Hack Wil-
son was the toughest slider of all the
men he ever tagged. He always was
thankful that Hack, who waited until
he was almost on the bag before com-
ing in feet first, did not use sharp
spikes. . . . Dick Bartell’s pet sliding
aversion was Riggs Stephenson, the
former Alabama football star, who of-
ten played football while coming into
the base. . . . Both of them say that
the best thing about Pepper Martin Is
that he usually slides head first and
thus gives the base guardian some
chance.
Casey Stengel’s first manager told
him that he never would make good be-
cause he packed too much weight
around the hips. . .. The Pittsburgh
dugout is the hottest in the National
Things Box Score
Never Told Me
| league, the sun shining into it all after-
noon. . . . Jack Doyle, who sets the
prices on most sports events, has been
to the races only three times in 30
years. . . . Soldiers at Fort Hamilton
claim that the ring there is the largest
in the world.
RANKIE FRISCH comes sliding
into the bag while the baseman
stands there, ball in hand, waiting for
him. In the dugout some player yawns
and turns to his team-mates.
“There goes Frankie again, making
that old college try,” he remarks in
tones of supreme disgust.
Where the term originated I do not
know, although it is obvious that it is
an expression of the professional ath-
lete’s scorn for the player who does
not get paid for his work. But I do
know that it has become baseball's
most overused term of disapproval for
the player who, presumably for the,
sake of being theatrical, attempts to
make some play that cannot be made.
Also | know that the increasing num-
ber of big timers who regard anything
out of the ordinary as “the old college
try” is one of the reasons why the
sport lacks a very real part of its for-
mer fascination for the fans.
That Frisch lasted so long as one of
the highest paid players in the game
may be attributed
largely to the fact that
he is possessed of the
spirit which drives
him into making that
“old college try,” even
though his legs may
rebel against such ex-
ertions, Certainly it
also is the reason why
the old Orioles, who
had such scant esteem
for most collegiate no-
tions, remain famous
in the sporting world
forty years after the days of their ac-
tive glory. ’
Frisch.
Indeed this fierce impulse to lead for-
lorn hopes, to refuse to admit that any
shoestring catch is impossible until a
muscle straining effort to accomplish it
has been made, is one very important
reason why there are any stars to ap-
plaud today. It is a fact that makes
up for the occasional athlete who may,
as the dugout critics so often yelp, go
through the motions merely to show
off.
It was the spirit which compelled
him to try the impossible which made
Ty Cobb the great player that he was
when men of perhaps equal speed and
keenness of eye were serving a dull
span in the big show. In spite of the
toll taken by time during his last
months as a player Babe Ruth had this
spirit, too. Earle Combs, so often so
badly shattered in the service of a
cause, had it.
“01d College Try”
Casey Stengel, Sherry
Is Mark of Star
Lou Gehrig,
Magee, Chief Bender, Rabbit Maran-
ville and—but there is no need to call
the roll. Search through the list of all-
time greats yourself. You will discover
that, almost without exception, each of
them was possessed of that fierce im-
pulse to deny that anything was im-
possible when victory was in sight.
Obviously, I am not suggesting that
a player should sacrifice all regard for
life and limb merely to provide a spec-
tacle for the customers. The memory
of Johnny Grabowski diving head first
into a concrete floored dugout, of
Greasy Neale crashing so hard against
the right field wall at the Polo grounds
that he had to be rushed to the hos-
pital, of Frank Bowerman, Christy
Mathewson’s old catcher, splintering a
timber several inches thick by the
force of his impact while chasing a
foul, would prevent me from requiring
murder for my 50 cents.
Yet | am wondering how many
younger players and fans realize how
firmly this now scorn-
ful expression “the
old college try” is
bound up with all that
is best in baseball. |
am wondering how
many of them realize
that, by and large, it
really is the same
spirit which makes a
Frisch, a Combs, a Joe
Moore, a Ruth, a
Greenberg or a Cobb
Greenberg. stand out far above
their humdrum fel.
lows. | am wondering how many of
them really understand that the re-
fusal to quit chasing a fly ball until it
has -hit the ground and the run has
been scored must still go far toward
determining the winner whether among
men or among teams.
Probably, though, the number is
large. Indeed, the more you think
about it the more you suspect that
‘the old college try” was given its
present meaning because of somebody
else’s inefficiency; that lazy men, anx-
ious to cover their own defects, en-
deavored thus to express their jealousy
of stiffer marrowed fellows,
I recommend that thought to the
next occupant of press box or dugout
—I do not include the stands because
the subject is far better understood
there—who feels called upon to sneer
when Joe Vosmik takes a nose dive
in the outfield or when Pepper Martin
tomes swarming into a well-blocked
base. :
If that is the “old college try,” and
I have mentioned that the two things
seem much the same to me, it is by
far the most important contribution
of any campus to any sport.
Joe Gould, manager of Jim Brad-
dock, has bought a new automobile
and a new dog. The dog is a wire-
haired fox terrier named Roxy. . . .
Doc Robb, the heavyweight champion’s
trainer, takes the stable’s new honors
much more lightly, Whenever he hits
a new town he asks for only one
thing. That is for a tub in which to
ice some beer. , . . The official name
for the English Lawn Tennis associa-
tion is “The Tennis association.”
Unique Scratch
Pad for Kitchen
By GRANDMOTHER CLARK
ID
“5
3 a
0
- AN
ATARI III NA
ITT 727
(7 di ldddddiiiliiiiiiizrrizzzz772z2277222
It can’t be helped if there is mon-
key business afoot here. This little
fellow makes it his business to keep
a record of your household wants on
the little pad he is holding. This
memo pad hanger measures about
8 by 10 inches when finished.
Package No. A-T contains the
stamped and tinted unbleached mus-
lin and the paper scratch pad, ready
to be outlined, also directions how to
make it up. Thread and binding are
not included. Sent postpaid for 15
cents, ?
Address Home Craft Co., Dept. A,
Nineteenth and St. Louis Ave. St.
Louis, Mo. Enclose stamped ad-
dressed envelope for reply when
writing for any information.
Overlook Little Things
Let not the littleness of people
disturb you. Remember that if you
have been made big enough to do
big things in life, you have been
made large enough to overlook little
things.—John T. Moore.
What a Blessing %
. If they could only devise some
PLYMOUTH
1183 AUTOMOBILES
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To make them move quickly, pleas-
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aE
Wik I I TNA 3 RNa:
So That’s Talent
A talented man is one who dyes .
his mustache and leaves a white
hair here and there.
«-To
Kills ¥
MOSQUITOES
FLIES*SPIDERS
HAS
ELLIE and
TESTS OTHER
(=v) INSECTS
REFUSE
SUBSTITUTES
°