THE BLUE HIGHWAY,
BY WALTER BIDDALL.
The cold beach cries behind us in the grip
of the sea's unrest,
IWe've done with stagnant harbors, we're
decked out in our best,
!\Vith a white band on the funnel instead of
dirty gray,
We're oil to meet old friends upon the
blue highway.
Wives and sweethearts call us, call to us of
home,
The red gieam of a tavern creeps out across
the foam,
But we head for the notched horizon where
the great white breakers be.
'And all the stars are shining, a-shining on
the sea.
Comrrdes* voices warn us of the road we
take,
The lips of the drowned keep crying, cry
ing in our wake,
But we head for the notched horizon .
where the great white breakers be,
And Mother Carey feeds her chicks, feeds
her chicks at sea.
The cold beach cries behind us in the grip
of the sea's unrest,
We've done with stagnant harbors, we're
decked out in our best.
With a white band on the funnel instead of
dirty gray,
We're off to meet old friends upon the
blue highway.
A MODERN
1 JOHN ALDEN
{ The Love Story of a Substitute. |
•. < ———. f
£ £ ( yr TUB" VAN ALAN'S rotund
if visage loomed through a
its) cloud of tobacco smoke,
for all the world like the
sun lost in a fog. This was not an
nuusual phenomenon, certainly, but the
fact that my generally Irrepressible
friend had been In my room ten min
utes and bad neither smiled nor at
tempted any of the atrocious puns for
which he was Justly infamous, was a
hitherto unknown state of things.
"What's the matter with you, old
man':" I queried. The cloud of smoke
became denser, threatening total
eclipse. "Nothing," came presently
from the blueness, "at least nothing
you would caro to hear about.'
"I like that," I replied, a little
touched at his manner. "Since when
have I been In the habit of 'passing
by on the other side,' like what's-liis
name in the parable, and you In trou
ble?"
"Can't say you ever did," said Stub,
removing ids pipe, "but it Isn't—er—or
dinary trouble; I suppose I may as
Well tell you, though—l'm In love."
"In love?" I echoed, beginning to
laugh. "Is that all? I imagined from
your looks that you were about to be
banged. Was there ever a time when
you were not in love—with some one?
iWho is It this time?"
"You needn't laugh," said Mr. Van
'Alan, indignantly. "This isn't a joke;
I'm in,dead earnest."
"Who is it?" I demanded, seriously.
"Helen Lorrington," said Stub, dart
ing a queer glance at me. If lie had
suddenly hurley a chair at my head
It would have dumfounded me less. I
became interested all at once in look
ing out of the window. I wasn't anx
ious for Stub to see my face.
It was no joke, as he had said—to
me, at all events. I had been in love
with Miss Lorrington for two years,
madly, hopelessly; fluttering about her
beautiful, stately presence, as the pro
verbial moth about the candle flame
and with about the same result. I
have never been accused, even by my
enemies, of lacking nerve; hut some
how, under the spell of Miss Lorrlng
ton's gray eyes, I could never screw
up my courage to the sticking point
aud put my fate to the touch. I had
fancied nt times that Helen was not
altogether indifferent. There had been
a memorable day on the liuks that
she—however, at other times I was
miserably certain that I had no chnnce.
"Of course,"—Stub was speaking—
"l know she's much too good for me;
she's better, nobler than "
"Have you said anything to her?" I
managed to say. I knew how perfect
the lady of my heart was without
Samuel Peyton Van Alan's telling mo.
"No," he said, ruefully; "I—l can't.
.Whenever I'm with her I feel like an
overgrown boy and nearly make an
Idiot of myself; she has away of look
ing into a fellow's soul, Willi those big
eyes of hers, that makes him think of
bis sins." I made no comment; I un
derstood perfectly.
"Look here, Ken," said Stub, as if
suddenly struck witli a bright idea.
"You and I-lel—Miss Lorrington—are
great friends, aren't you? I remember
bearing her say once that Kenneth
Soars was one of the nicest men shre
knew. Why can't you —er— or sort
of say a word for me? Toll her how it
1s with me, and that I am not really
such n blockhead as I appear In her
society. Toll her I—l love her—just
as if it was yourself, you know; may
he If she thought I cared for her she
might "
i "Do you take me for a matrimonial
agent?" I asked, sternly. "Do your
own proposing. Do you suppose a girl
like Helen Lorrington would think
itwico of a man who was lacking in
courage?"
"I don't know," said Stub; "that's
iwhat you are going to find out."
"I'm not," said I.
"Don't lie a chump," remarked my
friend, in contemptuous tones. "Prom
ise you'll speak to her to-night, if you
get a chance, nt Mrs. Applebee's
dance."
Stub and I had been friends since
college. I would do more for him than
any man alive, and . Well I arrived
lit, Mrs. Applebee's that night with a
heart like lead, bound to plead my
friend's cause with the girl I loved
myself.
"What did you wisli to tell me, Mr.
Bears?" Miss Lorrington asked, after I
found her a seat under a tall palm in
the deserted conservatory. I swal
lowed a lump that had suddenly risen
In my throat, and began.
"And who is this fair lady that your
friend loves so devotedly?" she in
quired, when I had finished.
"YouT' I said, turning away my eyes
lest they betray my own secret
"Me?" she said, incredulously. "Sam
my Van Alan in love with me? Im
possible!"
"Why impossible?" I cried, impul
sively. "How can he be otherwise?
How can any man? But yon are so
far ' above other women—so unap
proachably adorable—that all a fellow
can do is to worship—in silence!" I
had forgotten Samuel Peyton Van
Alan.
Miss Lorrington made no reply. She
was looking intently under a bench of
potted geraniums, a little, far-away
smile on her lips. I followed her gaze,
and as I discovered its object, hot
prickly waves began to chase up my
spine to the roots of my hair. It was
only an" empty wooden box at which
she was looking, but pasted on one end
of it was a highly colored lithograph,
advertising Priscilla nasturtium seeds
—and the picture wns of John Alden
pleading the cause of Miles Standish.
Something in the droop of Miss Lor
rington's regal head gave me sudden
courage. I bent down until my eyes
met hers, and in them I read, as plainly
as love could say it, the immortal re
buke of Priscilla to her faint-hearted
lover: "Why don't you speak for your
self, John?"
And Stub? Well, I may as well con
fess It. I had been made the victim of
a diabolical ruse. Mr. Van Alan had
discovered the state of my feelings
got the Idea from a chance remark of
Helen's that It was only my cowardice
that stood in the way of making me the
happiest man alive, and forthwith es
sayed the role of match-maker.
He was my best man six months
later.—Leslie's Weekly.
It Looked Quito Cnnning.
A three-year-old girl, fair of hair and
sunny face, was attracting attention
in an Erie ferryboat tho other after
noon, when a little woman somewhat
past middle age came tripping in with
a mincing gait. In a very short rainy
day skirt, a bright red waist showing
under a Monte Carlo coat, and a girlish
lint topping tile whole. The obvious
attempt to appear youthful would have
been pathetic had it not been for the
simpering expression on the woman's
face.
"See, mamma! Sec!" exclaimed the
child, pointing to the woman.
"Hush, Gladys," said the young
mother, trying to divert the child's at
tention.
"See! See'." persisted the child, and
as the woman who would appear
youthful smiled at the child, Glady's
raised her voice and clapped her little
hands, exclaiming:
"Isn't it cunning?"
Atnid the ill-concealed mirth of the
passengers the woman who had pro
voked t his apt though innocent sally
hurried *nlo the forward cabin.—New
York Times.
Trnlllc Held Up For u Clilld.
When traffic on Broadway was most
congested the other day, a feeble old
woman, in tattered garments made her
way to the corner of Dey street, with a
little girl clutching nervously nt her
skirts. The stalwart policeman at the
crossing approached them and gently
taking the woman by the arm, started
to guide her through the lane separat
ing trucks and tars. Half way across
the street, the little girl dropped a
package, and a few cents' worth of
peanuts were scattered on the tracks.
She looked up at her big guardian with
a stare, and asked:
"Can I get them back?"
By this time the truck drivers were
pulling impatiently on their reins, for
the progress of the trio had been
slow.
"Certainly, little one," replied the po.
licerann, as he put up his hand and
held the Broadway traffic in check
while tiie child gathered them all Into
a newspaper.
The drivers fumed, but pedestrians
who saw the little Incident, smiled as
they moved on.—New York Mail aud
Express.
Effect of Newspapers on Fiction.
There is a story, told of a newspaper
correspondent who telegraphed his
editor as follows: "Have column story
on so-and-so. Shall I send It?" The
editor, mindful of the value of space,
wired back: "Send six hundred words."
In a few hours he received another
message from the anxious correspond
ent, reading: "Can't lie told in less than
twelve hundred." The editor promptly
telegraphed back: "Story of creation
of the world told in six hundred. Try
it." And in due time the correspond
ent sent in his story written within
tiie prescribed limits. The condensa
tion of language in the newspapers of
our time has undoubtedly had a reac
tionary effect on our Jiterature. Our
novelists no longer indulge in the ele
gant cfforescence of two chapters In a
hook where one can take its place, and
oven the leisurely Introductory pages
of Scott, fine as they are, would not
ho rend in a novelist of to-day, unless,
indeed, another Scott should arise.
no Win n Humorist.
Occasionally a humorist is found
among the toilers, and he is a ray of
sunshine not to he ignored. Such a one
was acting as guard on an "L" train
Saturday. Humanity was struggling
to get aboard; every third passenger
was asking, "What is this train?" and
there was a general feeling of impa
tience. It was all dissipated in a
I moment, however, at the next station,
j as the guard opened the gates, for ho
, sung out in a cheerful voice: "Sardine
express; all stops; take your time!"
] And the people hurried aboard with
' a smile 011 their faces that lasted for
I several minutes.—New York Mail and
I Express.
-
— fa*?*
UNSETTLED.
This world is so extensive
That there seems but little hope
That jtcace can ever be maintained
Throughout its mighty scope.
For when one Country';! quiet
And running smooth and right
Another gets uneasy and
Prepares to start a fight.
—Washington Star.
AND SHE KNOWS.
"Is he a well-informed man?"
"I should say so. Why. his wife tells
him everything."—Louisville Post.
ASSURANCE.
Young Lady (who has Just had her
picture tnken)—"l hope that tho pic
tures will be handsome."
Photographer—"Yes, Indeed; you will
hardly recognize yourself."—New York
World.
WHAT USUALLY HAPPENS.
"Mark you, if we honest men do not
organize the politicians will ignore us."
"Ay! But If the organization
amounts to anything tho politicians
will capture It."—Puck.
BUBBING IT IN.
Wife—"Did you over notice that a
loud talker is usually an ignorant per
son?"
Husband—"Well, you needn't talk so
loud; I'm not deaf."—Chicago News.
EXTREMELY RARE.
Tommy—"Pop, what is meant by the
sense of humor?"
Father—"The sense of humor, my
son, consists largely of knowing when
not to be funny."—Philadelphia Record.
SUPERIOR TO TnEM.
Once my little brother wished to rido
with papa. Papa said, "No, not under
the circumstances."
My little brother replied: "Oh, I can
rido on the circumstances, papa."—
Philadelphia Record.
A DURBAR ECHO.
"I see that the finest elephants at the
durbar wore introduced by the Sikhs."
"That's strange."
"What's strange?"
"Strange that tliey were not a Slkhly
lot."—Cleveland Plain-Dealer.
I
THAT SETTLES IT.
"I see that some one is advocating
the project of a newspaper printed in a
compact tabloid form like a book," said
Mr. Torque.
"The very idea!" cried Mrs. Torque;
"It's simply ridiculous."
"In what way?"
"Why, such a paper would be simply
useless to put under a carpet."—Balti
more Herald.
EXCLUSIVE.
"Why did you not
turer Schultz at your club? He be
longs to a good family and is very
rich 1"
"Oh, that's ail right, but he made his
own money."—Fliegende Blaetter.
PRESENCE OF MIND.
Black and White recalls a story of a
highwayman who was outwitted by a
nobleman whom be waylaid.
"Your money or your life!" said the
hero of the road, presenting a cocked
pistol at the window of a carriage on
Hounslow Heath.
"I would not yield to one man," re
sponded the occupant of the vehicle,
"but as there are two of you I must."
The robber, taken aback, looked
rouud to see where the second man
was, and at that moment received a
bullet through the heart from his in
tended victim.
FOUR MINUTES A LONC TIME.
IIOTT a Lawyer Impressed tho Fact on a
Jury anil Won Ills Cuse.
Bert Norton, of Macon, won a law
suit in the Federal Court at Hannibal a
few days ago in away unusual among
lawyers—by silence. Mrs. Martha B.
Phipps, of Macon, sued the Atchison,
Topeka and Santa Fe Railway Com
pany for $15,000. She claimed that a
spark from one of Its engines caused
the burning of her deceased husband's
business property at Ethel. The testi
mony showed that the Santa Fe train
stopped at Ethel four minutes the
night of the tire, but that also the tire
was well under way before the train
pulled out, and the road's attorneys
argued that it was ridiculous to main
tain that a Are couid be started by a
spark and get well under way in such
a short time. Mr. Norton devoted prac
tically his entire argument to this
point.
"Ho said," says the Macon Repub
lican, "if a young fellow was sitting
on a sofa playing hands with his girl,
time traveled like an express train;
but if you dumped a lot of engine
sparks on the pine roof of a dry build
ing in summer time, four minutes wero
ample to settle' the fate of the structure
in spite of all efforts to save it. There
were some incredulous smiles at this.
The attorney took out his watch and
handed it to Juryman L. S. Harlan,
a banker of Clinton Hill, Randolph
County, and requested him to signal
when four minutes had passed. The
jurymen leaned over and looked down
at the watch. Then they got tired and
settled back in their seats. Mr. Harlan
lowered his hand and rested it on his
knee. The attorney sniffed his feet a
few times, and sat down in a chair.
Judge Adams looked at the clock and
then out of the window.
"A deputy marshal put his head in
at the door to see what was the matter
and waited the result of the curious
scene. Nearly every man in the room
that had a watch was studying its
face. The speaker was saerilicing
four minutes of his allotted time, but
ho felt that it was well invested. At
Inst Juror Harlan announced the four
minutes had expired and handed the
watch back to Mr. Norton. Only four
minutes, and yet to every man In the
room it had seemed, under the sup
pressed tension, to have been twice as
long. The court remarked after the
case had been decided that it appeared
fully fifteen minutes. The weurisoiue
suspense was an effective object les
son to the Jury and a startling exposi
tion of what might transpire in that
time. The jury found that the de
fendant's engine had ample time in
four minutes to fire the restaurant
building, and they brought in a verdict
for the plaintiff for $14,108.2S —the ex
act sum her proof showed her loss to
be."
The case had been pending in the
courts tea years.—Kansas City Jour
nal.
lie Would Outwit Fate.
The man's bump of eloquent en
treaty was highly developed. Thus did
he acquire a railroad pass.
The man's bump of caution stood
way out on his head.
"I have heard," said he, "that passen
gers traveling on a pass always get
into an accident, and cannot recover
damages from the railroad by reason
of the fact that they were traveling on
a pass. Therefore," said he, "I will
outwit fate and get insured in an acci
dent company."
From the fact that he assumed to
outwit fate it will be deduced that his
bump of conceit was also highly de
veloped. True. The man's bump of
conceit was a regular ltnubble.
As a matter of fact, there was a rail
road accident. The man was in it. He
didn't even receive a scratch. Other
passengers who had paid $1.05 for a
ticket managed to receive black eyes,
bruised elbows, and things, and aver
aged something like SSOOO apiece dam
ages from tho soulless and grasping
railroad company.
To outwit fate! Oh, tho fatuity of
man!— New York Sun.
lSell That Called Columbus.
There is a bell at Washington whose
history dates back to the very begin
ning of civilization on this continent.
J,t is a trifling affair as regards size,
its dimensions being only eight by six
and one-half Inches; yet its notes
sounded to call the great discoverer,
Columbus, to prayer and sacred wor
ship. It was brought from Spain in
December, 1-193, and set up in a church
at San Domingo. It was tho special
gift of King Ferdinand, and bears the
initial of ills name ("F.") in old Gothic
characters upon its surface. When
La Vega, tho new city of the plains,
was founded church and bell were
bodily removed to it. There its notes
smote upon the air to summon the
tardy Spaniards to mass, and served,
how frequently none can tell, to recall
to the minds of the venturesome ex
plorers memories of their sunny liome
hideous and utterly barbaric. It rep
laud located far away across the sea.—
Pittsburg Dispatch,
Artistic Toy-Malting.
Sonnelierg and Nuremberg are the
home of the wooden toy and doll-mak
ing industry, which has found so ready
a market in Loudon this week. Years
ago the toys turned out at Sonneherg
were of the roughest description, made
entirely of wood, with unpainted faces.
But the workmen have become more
artistic, and tho industry has been or
ganized. No one factory make the en
tire doll. Tile making of bisque heads
Is entirely different from that of pa
pier maclie heads, wooden heads and
china heads. The labor of toy and
doll-making is divided to a remarknblc
degree. For example, a toy turtle with
a clock in its chest has to pass through
the linnds of three men and thirty-
Beven girls before it is ready to be put
on the market.—The Draper.
MPARTMENT:
BOBBIE'S QUESTION.
The scholars were standing in two little
rows;
The sua through the windows shone
bright.
While soft little airs on tho tips of their
toes
Came tripping with April delight.
And Bobby looked up as they gentiy went
by;
They told him a tale of the spring.
And talked of the clouds in the happy blue
sky,
And all that summer would bring.
He heard not the voice of the teacher at
all;
Ilis thoughts had gone out with the sun.
He stood with the others, his back to the
wall,
Absorbed till the lesson was done.
"Now ask me some questions," the teacher
had cried,
"Just any that chance to occur."
Bo'u's fingers went up, and he solemnly
sighed:
"How long till the holidays, sir?"
—Cassell's Little Folks.
BRIDGING A CHASM.
Dr. Alexander McKenzie In one of
his scrmon3 tells a pretty anecdote of
the early life of Louis Agassiz, the
great scientist. As a child, Agassiz
lived In Switzerland, on the border of
a lake. He bad a younger brother, and
one day the two lads started to cross
the lake. It was frozen, and the ice
looked safe enough, but their mother
watched them.
Tho hoys got on very well till they
came to a crack in the ice, perhaps a
foot wide. The mother could not call
to them, although her heart failed her
as she thought, "Louis will get over
well enough, but his little brother will
try to step over and will fall in."
As she watched she saw Louis get
down on the Ice, his feet on one side of
the crack, ills hands on the other side,
making u bridge of his body, and the
PUZZLE OF MISSING DASCHUNDS.
Find the three Daschunds that are tracking the fox.
little brother crept over him to the
other side. Then Louis got up and
they went on their way.
THE MUSICAL FOUNTAIN.
The musical fountain Is one of the
most Interesting experiments, and is
very simple to manage. Itememher,
you must use a goblet for the purpose,
not a tumbler, as the latter will not
work well, the form making the differ
ence. Choose a goblet of very thin
glass, fill it almost full of water, and
with the end of the linger you have
* 'liV:
dipped In water rub the edge of the
glass quickly around and around until
It rings with a humming sound. You
will soon find the surface of the water
shivering and wrinkling up its face in
tiny waves. Next it will become great
ly agitated, sending up wee streams
and drops of water. Wet your finger
again and keep on with the circular
motion until a little fountain of fine
spray shoots up in the air, accompanied
by the musical sound from the glass.—
The Delineator.
A COKNUCOriA WATER WHEEL.
The water wheel shown in our illus
tration Is easy to make, but neverthe
less a very amusing plaything. The
princpal feature of it is an octagonal
4T*
thin wooden wheel, which we have to
prepare first. Take the top of a cigar
box nud draw a circle with the help
of a compass. Take a rule and draw a
line through the centre of the circlh
from side to side; cross it with air
otlier line perpendicular to it. Divide
the four right angles and draw the
lines through the centre of the circle.
Connect the points with straight lines
and the octagon is ready to he cut out
with the bow-saw. Cut a round open
ing through the centre of the octagoa.
anil insert a eork through which you T
have stuck a knitting needle as axle.
Two erect pieces of wire are iusertod
in a block of wood and provided with a
loop at tlieir ends to hold the axle of
the wheel. Fasten with the help of
little tneks on each side of tile eight
sides of the wooden wheel a cornucopia
made of cardboard, with their openings
all to one side, as shown In our lllustrn-V
tlon. The wheel is set In motion witlrf
tlie help of water, which we either
pour down upon the cornucopia out of
a glass or pitcher, or, if we want a con
stant motion, by connecting a rubber
tube with the kitchen water faucet and
fastening the tube somehow over one
of the cornucopias.—New York World.
DIOGENES, THE CYNIC.
Following is a half-minute story of
the life and work of this great man.
He was born in Sinope, in Pontus,
came to Athens, was attracted to An
tisthenes and became a disciple and a
sans-cullote of the first water; dressed
himself in the coarsest, lived on the
plainest, slept in the porches of the
temples, and finally took up his dwell
ing in a tub; went through the high
ways and byways of the city at noon
tide with a lit lantern in quest of a
man; a man himself not to be laughed
at or despised; visiting Corinth he wasfli
accosted by Alexander the Gront. "I 1
am Alexander," said the king. And "If*
am Diogenes," was the prompt reply.
"Can I do anything to serve you?" con
tinued the king. "Yes, stand out of
the sunlight," rejoined the cynic; upon
which Alexander turned away, saying,
"If -I were not Alexander I would he
Diogenes." D'Alembert declared Dio
genes the greatest mnn of antiquity,
only that he wanted decency.
An Old Barber Talk#.
"In my experience, which covers
many years," said an old barber in a
down town shop, "I have noticed that
a man with a heavy growth of beard
grows bald on top of his head sooner
than the man whose heard does not
grow so heavily. With the heavy
heard I find also that the hair on the \
sides and back of the head is thick
and grows quickly, while the man
with little or no beard will, nineteen
times out of twenty, have an abund
ance of lialr on the top of his head,
"How do I account for it? It's be
yond me. I noticed it first many years
ago, and, following it up closely, have
learned that the rule does not vary."
| —New York Mail and Express.