PLOD. PLOD, PLODI
By AMOS E. VSIXS.
When your hands and head are weary,
And your soul has lost its song;
When the road is hot and dreary,
And the way seems very long;
When you have no heart for action,
When you need the spur and rod—
There's a world of satisfaction
In a plod, plod, plod!
Just to see til? task before you,
And forget the distant goal;
Just to bid renown ignore you,
And to bear a humble soul;
Just to trudge along contented
Where the many feet have trod—■
There's no better rest invented
Than a plod, plod, plod!
_ , "
THOSE: BOOTS.
The Tragic Love Story of Mr. Augustus Sniper.
J
¥ls. AUGUSTUS SNIPER
stood in his second-floor
back bedroom surveying
himself In a small looking
glass. He was arrayed for conquest
and contemplated himself with a smile
of complacency.
His necktie was most correct, his
coat was a marvel of tailoring, though
somewhat aggressively new, as was
also the rest of his attire down to his
crimson socks, but here the newness
suddenly ceased, for on his feet were a
pair of the most disreputable old boots
which have ever been worn since boots
were invented.
That they had once been patent leath
er was apparent, but of their former
elegance, their white stitching and
pristine brilliancy, there was 110 sign.
They had been patched, sewn, blacked,
inked, scratched, battered, trodden
down at the heels and kicked out at
the toes to such a degree that a coster
monger would have refused to convert
them into a "flower for the dinner
table," even accompanied by a shil
ling, when they had reached half the
state of dilapidation in which Mr. Sni
per wore them.
And why did he wear them? Among
his friends his boots were a constant
source of "envy, hatred and malice;"
his toes wore the most pointed, his flt
the most perfect, his leather the most
shiny and his fashion the newest. His
lady friends talked- of them, and one
of them had even been known to re
fuse a man because "his boots were
not to be mentioned in the same breath
with Mr. Sniper's, and she had once
seen him wear one that was patched."
But then no one ever saw him in
the boots he wore in the privacy of his
bedroom. Such toes as he showed to
an admiring world were not compati
ble with the broad foot he unquestion
ably possessed, and the agony they
made him suffer was only to be al
layed by wearing thoso comfortable
old friends in his moments of retire
ment from the stage of suburban so
'eiety where he played no unimportant
part in his own estimation.
. Having surveyed himself carefully,
beginning at the top and only lament
ing that the new fashion in ties pro
,eluded him from wearing a breastpin,
his glance at last rested on his crim
son silk socks and the boots. As he
'eyed the latter he gave a chuckle and
looked with pride toward a pair of ir
reproachable "patents" which stood on
his chest of drawers in a state of im
maculate brightness and glass-like
hardness.
f*"lt wouldn't do to forget to change
them," he said, with a grin; "by Jove,
what would the dear Katie say? Why,
my chance would be clean gone direct
ly. It's only the other day I heard her
say to Jack McDonald that she thought
a man who did not wear patent leath
ers was not tit to he spoken to, and a
patch was perfectly inadmissible in a
lady's drawing-room. And if she were
to see these! Oh, it makes me all of a
flutter to think of it. Now, I must be
cool. What shall I do to calm myself?
I know, I'll read that book she lent
me; it will do to open the conversation
with." So he sat down In his easiest
chair and began to read.
The book, however, was very excit
ing, and he never noticed the time till
the clock struck 4, the hour he should
have Ijeen at his adored one's house.
So, with an exclamation which one
couldn't exactly say to a Sunday
school class without having difficul
ties with the superintendent, he has
tily glanced at himself in the glass,
picked up his carefully brushed hat
and hurriedly left the house. Fortu
nately his destination, the house of
Dr. Gunn, was not far off, and in six
minutes 110 was standing on the door
step waiting for the door to be opened
that he might bp ushered into the
presence of his Katie, to whom he
meant that very afternoon to offer his
hand, his heart, and—his boots.
Ho heard the welcome footsteps ot
the housemaid, and his heart was
beating high with expectation when
looking downward—he saw he had for
gotten to change his boots.
There was no time to retreat, al
ready the door was open, and, before
he could collect his thoughts, he found
himself in the drawing-room in the
presence of his divinity and several
other visitors of both sexes.
"Oh, I am so glad you have come,
Mr. Sniper," said Katie, n pretty gill
with sparkling eyes and a neat figure,
as she hurried to meet him at the door.
Then she lowered her voice to say:
"Such a nuisance, those people com
ing."
"Er—er—not nt all—er—l assure you
—I " he stammered Convulsively,
too much unnerved by the discovery
of the state of his feet to have the
slightest idea of what she was saying,
beyond a vague idea that she was apol
ogizing for something.
Katie gave him one loolt of con
temptuous anger and turned away
■without another word. When a pretty
girl tells a man she Is glad to see him
Let the genius leap to glory-
Winged feet that spurn the soil;
Though I think the truer story
Is that talents always toil.
We will make a reputation
.From a broom, a hoe, a hod;
There are fame and fascination
In a plod, plod, plod!
For in this way and no other
Do the seasons come and go.
And the great world is a brother
To the toiler with his hoe;
Near to nature working slowly,
We are close to nature's God
When we give our spirits wholly
To a plod, plod, plod!
and in the same breath laments that
any one else should be present, and he
answers as Augustus Sniper did, is it
anything to be surprised at that she
feels mortally offended?
So Augustus was left stranded by
the door where he had entered, too
much overcome by the paralyzing fear
that some one would look at him uud
discover those boots to heed Katie's
auger or to be aware in what way ho
had offended her.
However, he dared not remain in the
open space, and, seeing an ottoman, he
determined to reach it or perish in the
attempt. Happily it was near Mrs.
Gunn, which afforded him an excuse
to go to it. Where he stood he felt as
though he was on the edge of a fearful
precipice, any moment some one might
look round; there was nothing for it
but a rush. He rushed. Happily he
was able to pull himself up in time and
avoid tumbling over Mrs. Gunn.
"How do you do, my dear Mrs.
Gunn?" he gasped, shaking hands with
her violently, hoping thereby to draw
her attention from the eccentric man
ner in which he had crossed the room.
"How do you do?" sh answered, cold
ly, adding to herself: "if it were not so
early in the day, I should say that man
had been drinking. I hope he has no
vicious habits. He comes here very
often. I must drop a hint to Katie."
Here the conversation languished.
Augustus remained wrapt in his own
thoughts, which were far from pleas
ant. At last he decided he would out
stay every one, propose to Katie, nnd
then, if accepted, he would be asked to
dinner and would make his escape un
der cover of the night, and if refused,
well, it would not much matter then
whether she saws the boots or not. He
was suddenly aroused from these re
flections by hearing Miss Gunn say;
"Won't you sit down, Mr. Sniper?"
And awakening to the fact that he
had been standing all the time in si
lence, he seated himself on the otto
man. Rut he had put himself in tile
worst place .in tljg rooni, viz,: next to
the tea table. Presently Sirs. Gunn
again spoke. "Ah, hero is the tea.
May I trouble you, Sir. Sniper, to take
this cup of tea to Sliss Neville. She is
at the other side of the room near the
window."
Thgre was nothing for it but to go,
so with n cup in one hand and a plate
of cake in the other ho started on his
perilous Journey. Behind the sofa,
round a fat old lady, between a lady
and gentleman in the midst of a flirta
tion, occasionally darting in a zigzag
course from the edge of a curtain to a
footstool and back again to the vast
outlaying flanges of some old dowager,
gingerly skirting the groups of laugh
ing, chattering girls, he made his er
ratic way, taking advantage of every
cover with the care of a Boer, and at
last reached the farther end of the
room, where sat Miss Neville in the
bow window.
"At last," he said to himself, as ho
handed her the cake, "I've done it, but
I wouldn't go through that again for
$5000." And he sat down beside Mag
gie Neville, determined nothing should
move him from his haven.
"What a cosy place you've got over
here, I thought so directly I came in,
so I got Mrs. Gunn to let me bring
you your tea and come over here for a
talk."
"Did you? I watched you crossing
the room, but I could not tell where
you were going."
He turned hot at the bare iden of his
being watched. Had she seen the
boots?
"Did you—er—did you notice any
thing— er—peculiar—about—me ?" he
stammered.
"No," she said wonderingly, "except
perhaps, your manner of walking. You
didn't look as if you were trying to get
here."
"Oh, that's nothing—l often—er—do
that. It's away I've got."
"Indeed."
This was not encouraging, anything
to turn the subject, lie rushed 011:
"But I assure you. Miss Neville, now
I am here, I could wish for no greater
happiness than to remain here forever.
At least, that is to say, until you go
away."
That was perfectly true.
"I'll leave a little margin for your
politeness, Mr. Sniper, and won't con
sider you bound by that," she said with
a laugh, and then added dryly, "what
would the others—what would Katie
say if you sat here all the afternoon?"
"I don't care what they say. My
present position is the only one to give
me happiness. I would not exchange
it for a throne," he said with fervor.
He was getting desperate. Anything
to keep her attention from his boots,
and all these speeches which she took
to mean a sudden desire to get up a
flirtation were no empty compliments,
but terribly true expressions of his
painful position.
Meanwhile Ivatle was watching blm
with great wrath. What did he mean
by this behavior? She was not going
to stand such treatment He hnd not !
once looked at her, and now to see 1
him flirting with that minx Maggie Ne
ville was more than flesh and blood j
could put up with.
"Here is your tea," said young Me- '
Donald at this moment; "can I fetch
you anything to eat, Miss Gunn?"
"Yes, please; I should like some '
cake," she answered, fixing Augustus, j
who still held the plate of cake, with
her eye.
"Where the dickens can It be gone
to?" he muttered some minutes later,
after hunting high and low. "Well,
I'm blessed if there isn't Sniper hug
ging it on his knee; I'll go and inter
rupt him."
And he went In Sniper's direction.
Poor Augustus saw him coming and !
moved a little closer to Miss Neville, |
hiding his feet under the edge of her |
gown, little thinking all this was per- j
ceived by Katie. "The wretch," she !
said to herself, and wnen Jack Me- |
Donald returned she flirted desperately I
with him, keeping one eye on Augus- J
tus, however. "Well, Mr. Sniper," said 1
Miss Neville in answer to one of his |
pretty speeches; "since you say your
pleasure is In serving me, will you be !
so kind as to fetch me another cup of j
tea ?"
Poor Augustus!
"Of course, my greatest pleasure Is
to serve you, Miss Neville, but—er—
when that service—er—necessitates my
leaving you—er—being deprived of
your society, I cannot fly to accom
plish your wish as I would otherwise
do " He had the cup in hand and
was balancing it idiotically and ho
stammeringly sought an excuse for re
maining where he was.
Just at this critical moment a friend
passed at about the distance of a yard
and a half. Here was his chance.
"Thomson," he said, reaching over
to touch him and nearly over-balanc
ing as he did so, "Miss Neville says
will you get her a cup of tea, please?"
Thomson, who had long worshiped
Maggie Neville, flew off with alacrity
on this errand.
"Really, Mr. Sniper, this Is going
too far," said Miss Neville In an of
fended tone; "if you did not wish to
get my tea 1 would not have you do it
for worlds, but I think you need not
put speeches into my mouth."
"My dear Miss Neville—not wish to
get your tea? I assure you—l "
And then a happy idea struck him.
"The thing was, I knew that fellow
wanted to come and Join us—and I—er
—l—didn't want him. See?"
Just then Thomson retnrned, care
fully steering his way across the room
with the desired cup of tea.
"Thank you, Mr. Thomson," she said,
with a gracious smile; "it is lucky
you've come, as Mr. Sniper has de
clared he can no longer keep away
from Miss Gunn, and I shall be left all
alone."
Poor Augustus!
Thomson beamed, and there was
nothing for it but for him to rise and
give, up his seat and make his way to
Katie.
"Oh, that I had skirts!" he groaned.
"Why wasn't I born a woman?"
By this time many of the guests had
departed, and to cross the room was a
matter of still greater difficulty tliau
before. However, by making darts,
when no one wns looking, from cover
to cover, he at length managed to place
himself behind his beloved Katie's
eliair. She, however, took no notice of
him, but continued chatting gaily with
Jack McDonald. So there he stood
(sitting wns out of the question) In si
lence, till the last guest had departed,
and when Katie returned from bidding
them good-bye at the door he advanced
and said: "I am so glad all those bores
are gone." ,
"You have the advantage of me
there," she said, haughtily.
He ignored this remark and con
tinued:
"I've been waiting to speak to you
nil the afternoon, Miss Gunn—Katie;
you know what I've come for—l want
to tell you "
"Please tell me nothing, Mr. Sniper;
after your disgraceful behavior this
afternoon nothing you can say will
have any interest for me."
"But, Ivatle, listen to me—you know
I love you, have always loved you
from the first time I saw you, and I
thought you did not dislike me."
"Sir, you force me to speak mors
plainly. In short, your language to me
in the stnte you are in, after your out
rageous flirtation, is nothing short of
an insult. A gentleman does not come
to ask a lady to be his wife and begin
by tlirting with some one else, nor does
he expect to be received in respectable
houses when he cannot even walk
straight, nor does he," as her glance
traveled downward, "come to pay a
visit in such boots."
Augustus fled. Poor Augustnsi—Now
York News.
No Place Like Ilome.
A native of Prince Edward Island
had gone forth to see the world. When
he readied Boston he engaged a room
nt a modest hotel, intending to remain
there while he hunted for work.
"Will you register?" asked the clerk,
handing him a pen.
"Register?" said the traveler. "What's
that?"
"Write your name."
"What for?"
"We are required to keep a record of
our guests."
The man wrote his name, and wns
about to lay down the pen when the
•clerk added:
"Now the place, if you please."
"What place?"
"The place you come from. Where
do you live?"
"I live on the Island." •
"Well, but what island?"
The other man looked nt him in
amazement. Then he said witli an em
phasis that left no doubt of ills feel
ings, "Prince Edward Island, man.
What other island is there?"— Youth's
Companion.
THE SILHOUETTE TARGET,
Not So Oootl it, the Round Rullgey* fa
the Army.
A number of years ago many expert
riflemen arrived nt the conclusion that
for target practice there was nothing
so good and equitable as n round bulls
eye. Various forms of bullseyes had
been tried before reaching this de
cision. It was with no little regret in
1885 that the announcement was re
ceived that the Army would discon
tinue the use of the round bullseye and
thereafter would use an elliptical bulls
eye/ A committee of the National Rifle
Association visited the Secretary of
War and urged that the round bulls
eye be retained for the Army, but as
the elliptical bullseye hnd been adopted
the committee was informed that no
change could bo made nt that time.
Following the elliptical bullseye, sil
houette figures were introduced for
rifle practice in the United States
Army. These figures are of undoubted
value, but they serve their purpose
best in skirmish firing. For the train
ing of the regulars of the Army and
the volunteers as expert rifle shots the
form of target with the round bulls
eye Is undoubtedly superior to all oth
ers. Tills, we understand, is the opin
ion of most -regular Army officers and
volunteers to-day, and we hear that the
board of United States Army officers
revising the firing regulations for small
arms practice will return to the Na
tional Rifle Association target with a
round bullseye for qualification of the
Army.
Wo regard this as most fortunate.
The new lines of the National Rifle
Association now agree with those of
the British National Rifle Association,
and witli the adoption of the same tar
get by the United States Army we are
likely to have a higher order of skill
developed and a better understanding
of the work of riflemen nt home and
abroad.—Shooting and Fishing.
Ihe Origin of PIo.
The early form of pie was undoubt
edly a tiling of meat, and meat which
needed "the grinding of the teeth,"
writes Ellen H. Richards in Good
Housekeeping. In the sixteenth and
seventeenth centuries meat was not
often kept until tender. The result of
the hunt was cooked and eaten at
once, only a small portion being car
ried away. When the guest was des
cried on the neighboring hill, or when
the sound of the horn announced his
approach, the domesticated animal
was killed", to appear on the table only
a few hours later. Tender meat was
not always possible, hence some foitn
of serving which should remedy this
and also which should eke out the
oftentimes scanty supply would be
come a popular one. Another advan
tage was that the Ingredients of a
meal were served all together and hot,
or, if cold, the "pasty" was still sa
vory. The derivation of the word
bears out this view. Gaelic "pighlann,"
Irish "pighe" or "pithan," defined by
the dictionary as "a dish consisting of
a' thin layer of pastry filled with n
preparation of meat, fish, fowl, fruit or
vegetables, seasoned, generally covered
with a thicker layer of pastry and
baked." This applies to the earlier
forms. An essential dish on Thanks
giving in early New England days was
the chicken pie of this description.
Pot pie and beefsteak pie of the res
taurant survive to remind us of tkQ
ancient form.
The Lady'a Mistake.
Female suffrage may be a very de
sirable reform, but It may also lend to
some embarrassing mistakes. A can
didate at a recent election in one of
the States of the commonwealth where
the ladles have votes tells a story in
this connection. The constituency was
a seaport town and one of the burning
issues before the electors was the
question of berthage rates. A lady
voter came to him and asked whether
lie was In favor of imposing these
berthage rates, because if he wns she
would take good care that neither her
husband nor herself would vote for
him. A little discussion of the matter
revealed the fact that the lady was
under the impression that the question
of berthage rates related to a poll-tax
on babies. That candidate now doubts
whether the average female voter is
not under a delusion—or, perhaps, we
Should say a spell.—London Chronicle.
Why Not NRUIO County RoadsT
The naming of the roads, says the
Grand Itapids Herald, is something
that should have been attended to long
ngo. Every main road' and every cross
road in the country ought to have its
official title, just as do the streets and
nvenues in the city. The roads are all
laid out on the map, but they are un
named, and to attempt to address a
farmer at his home residence, except,
perhaps, in the most general way, is
impossible. The Board of Supervisors
might well appoint a committee or
commission to name the roads in the
county, and in selecting names it would
be well to honor the sturdy pioneers
who settled in the neighborhood
through which the road passes. With
the roads named, a farmer could be as
easily addressed by his street and
number as can those who dwell hi
cities.
One of Aesop's Fables.
A tiger captured a monkey. The
monkey begged to be released on the
score of his insignificance, and prom
ised to show the tiger where he might
find a more valuable prey. The tiger
complied, and the monkey conducted
him to a hillside where an ass was
feeding—an animal which the tiger had
never seen before. "My goofi-brother,"
said the ass to the monkey, "hitherto
you have always brought me two
tigers. How is it that you have
brought nie only one to-day?" The
tiger fled for his life. Thus a ready
wit wards oil danger.—New York
Press.
,1
THE LITTLE ONE AT THE DOOIS
A baby kisses him at the door,
And sweetly says good-bye—
He hurries away to strive all day
I Where the money-maddened vie.
Time was when he showed no mercy there,
Men view him with dread before,
But his ways have changed and his words
arc fair,
He is pitiless no more.
All day through the city's ceaseless roar
He hears a happy song
That a little one sings as the evening brings
The twinkling stars along;
There is love deep down in his bosom,
where
Greed only had room before,
And lie thinks of the care that others bear
For little ones at the door.
—S. E. Kiser, in Chicago Record-Herald.
P l ' rjggf|^
Out on tlie western range the ranch
ers have to contend with thieving
tramps Just as we do in the East, but
the tramps ot the range are four-legged
fellows, very wise and very hard to
detect in their nefarious work. In
deed, so eunniug have these "hobos of
the prairie" become that it is now al
most impossible to capture them, he
cause they are ever on the alert. Ex
perienced hunters say that these skulk
ing thieves—or, to give them their
jiroper name, coyotes—know when a
PUZZLE OF THE MISSING MEN.
'-5
Find two otlicr men in this picture.
traveler lias a sun better than does a
human being, and cases are recalled
where men have driven across the
country with rifles Hidden beneath hay
in the bottoms of their wagons without
ever spying a coyote. However, should
the same journeys be undertaken' with
out the rifles the range tramps when
hungry will actually attack the trav
elers' dogs at the very wagonslde.
As a last resort ranchers have tried
poison on the pests, but again the
subtle instinct of the animals serves
to insure their safety, for whenever a
coyote comes across a nice piece of
meat anywlicre about a ranch he re
fuses to eat it. He knows that to se
cure his meals he has to run the risk
of getting shot, and that food Jying
about unguarded is dangerous.
Besides the ranchers' guns there are
policemen on every far western farm.
These policemen are, like the tramps,
four-legged, being no more or less than
the ranchers' dogs, and the coyote
knows that if he cannot whip one of
these policemen the tight will bring a
man with his trusty rifle; so the rnnge
tramp does not care to clash with the
"officer." When the coyote is very
hungry and lias picked out a nice
chicken or goose or turkey roost,
which is always close to the farmer's
house, he approaches the prize againstj
the wiud, so that the dogs will noli
scent ills approach. There's scheming
for you. If he succeeds In reaehingi
the roost safely Mr. Coyote will carry)
off enough meat to last him a long
time. He will/not take his booty alt
the way home, but Just far enough!
away to lie safe, after which he will
return again, carry out more so long .
as the conditions are favorable, and
when be has piled up a goodly supply,!
or has been frightened bj' some noise,;
lie retreats to the spot where lie has i
hidden his loot and leisurely bears it y
away to his quarters in quantities tliatli
he can easily carry.
For several days after a successful
raid the thief keeps out of sight, and it
is a sure thing that when 110 coyotes
are to be seen sneaking about in the
distance a successful steal lias been'
carried out. Just iike our city thieves,
he knows that he must lay low and
that somebody is watching for a shot
at him or evidence which will reveal
Ids hiding piace.—Chicago Record.
Herald.
HARD TO FIND ONE'S NOSE.
If you want to amuse a party of
friends, says the New York Herald's
ask one of them to eateli hold of his
nose with his right hand and of his
right ear with his left hand. After he
has done so tell him to place enghj
hand as quickly as possible in a row'
verse position; that is, he must eaten \
hold of his nose witli his left liant|
and at the same time grasp his left
ear with his right hand. "•
Tell him to repeat this operation
severnl times, and the more often hs
does it the more amusement he will
furnish for the company, since he will
lind it ever more and more diffiuclt tc
grasp his nose and ear, and will speca
,II
';(4% !
CANNOT FIND IIIS OWN NOSE.
considerable time searching for theajA
in places where they cauuot posslbfj*
be.
THE FLACABD GAME. ' ,
"Who am I?" That is the question
each player of the placard game wants
to have answered. She knows that on
lier back she bears a paper inscribed
with the name of some woman writer!
musical or dramatic author, painter ol
sculptor, and that she must lind out as
quickly as possible her hidden identity!
She is allowed to go from one person to
another that will solve the mystery;
but to those questions only "Yes" oj
"No" may be answered. Directly
has discovered she is Miss Ellen Terry
or Mrs. Humphry Ward, or whomsoj
ever else's name she has got on lion
back, she has her placard changed, furl
the more times she guesses who she ln*"~
the better chance she has of gaining a
prize.—Brooklyn Eagle.
A stone slab in the barnyard oi|
Henry Marr's farm, near Columbusj
Ind., marks the centre of population
in the United States, as fixed by the
last census.