Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, January 16, 1903, Image 2

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    FREELAND TRIBUNE.
liUbiiihld 1888.
PUBLISHED EVERY
MONDAY, WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY.
BY THI
TRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANf, Limited.
OFFICE: MAIN STREET ABOVE CENTRE.
LONO DISTANCE TELEPHONE.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES.
FREELAND.—The TRIBUNE is delivered by
carriers to subscribers in Freeland at the rate
of 12% cents a month, payable every two
months, or 81.50 a year, payable In advance.
The TRIBUNE may be ordered direct from the
carriers or from the office. Complaints of
irregular or tardy delivery service will receive
prompt attention.
BY MAIL.—The TRIBUNE is sent to out-of
town subscribers for $1.50 a year, payable in
advance; pro rata terras for shorter periods.
The date when the subscription expires is ou
the address label of each paper. Prompt re
newals must be made at the expiration, other
wise the subscription will be discontinued.
\
Entered at the Postofflee at Freeland, Pa.,
as Second-Class Matter.
Make all money orders, checks, etc., payable to
the Tribune Printing Company, Limited.
FREELAND, PA., JANUARY 10, 1903.
SHORT STORIES.
Tin* government of the United States
gives away each year to fanners seeds
to the value of $160,000.
The largest electrical pumping plant
In the world is that at Utah lake. It
raises 05,000,000 gallons of water a
day for irrigating the Great Salt lake
valley.
Southern California produces 22.000,-
000 pounds of lima beans annually,
three-fourths of the world's total pro
duction. One ranch in the bean coun
try covers 1,500 acres.
A beautiful memorial window in
memory of Admiral Sloat, Commodore
Stockton and Admiral Farragut is about
to be placed in St. Peter's chapel, navy
yard, Mare island, California.
Agricultural statistics show that the
average yield of wheat per acre In the
tJnlted States is a little less than thir
teen bushels and that of Indian corn a
little loss than twenty-seven buslisels.
The total steerage immigration to
this country for the year ended June
30, 1002, was made up of 010,008 im
migrants from European countries, 22,-
271 from Asia and 7,404 from all other
sources.
There is in Buffalo a young Irishman
who possesses such a keen sense of
smell that he draws a large salury
from the Buffalo Gas company as an
expert leak hunter. Recently he lo
cated a leak in the city hall that other
men had unsuccessfully sought for
eight years.
GERMAN GLEANINGS.
Three millions of the inhabitants of
the German empire speak the Polish
language.
While Bremen ranks far above other
German harbors It has only one-third
the business of Hamburg.
In Germany the government parcels
post carries packages weighing up to
eleven pounds for 12Mi cents apiece.
Wooden ships on the Rhine are fast
being superseded by iron boats. The
number of men employed on these
boats today is 21,080.
By order of the kaiser German offi
cers attending any of the royal thea
ters in Berlin must now take their
Beats before the overture begins.
Mulhausen, Alsace-Lorraine, has a
socialist town council, which bus de
cided to pay 2 shillings a day to all
the unemployed workmen In the town.
The German governmnt proposes the
acquisition of six private railways In
Prussia. The railroads of Germany
are partly owned by the government
and partly by private companies.
To avoid conscription a young Ger
man at lladersleben tried to simulate
gout by allowing some bees to sting
his foot. When he presented himself
with his swollen limb at the mustering
station, he was enrolled as a mounted
artilleryman.
PLAYS AND PLAYERS.
Imro Fox is said to be Ivellar's only
rival as an illusionist.
Miller & Hogarty will probably star
Elsa Ryan In "A Lady of Long Ago."
When Olga Nethersole conies to this
country again she will revive "Sapho."
Virginia Earle is to star in a new
piece under the management of George
W. Lederer.
The Martlnetti family Is said to be
the best acrobatic troupe that Italy
has produced.
Eleonora Duse and her company are
booked to sail for home from New
York on Jan. 22.
E. 11. Sotliern has purchased an es
tate of 2,000 acres at the foot of Mount
Siiowdcii in Wales.
"Summer Boarders" is the title of a
play just written and copyrighted by
Mrs. M. J. Goodrich of Boston.
Scott Craven has left the "Mary of
Magdala" company. His role of llaran
is to be taken by Earle Browne.
Miss Adele Rafter has been engaged
by Messrs. Klaw & Krlanger for the
forthcoming production of "Bluebeard."
CASTORIA.
Bears the ,4 1 hB Kind You Have Always Bought
GOMPERS ON STRIKES
THE BEST PREVENTIVE IS FOR LABOR
TO BE PREPARED.
The Great Leanon ot the Coal Strike.
Employers Are Organised The
Bayer and Not the Seller Sets the
Price of Labor.
Samuel Gompers, president of the
American Federation of Labor, lec
tured on strikes before the League For
Political Education In New York re
cently. He said in part;
"In the cold, hard, callous view of
the average employer and the average
professor of economy the labor ques
tion Is a mere matter of buying and
selling a thing. They speak of the
market price of labor. In the whole
world this Is the only thing for which
the buyer sets the price.
"The seller sets It In the stores and
for all other commodities, and labor is
the only exception. This fact had Its
origin in slavery and serfdom, and our
present discontent with It Is manifest
ed by the people In a desire to have a
voice In determining the conditions
aud the price under which labor and
labor power shall be bought and sold.
"The movement Is begun In a spirit
of conciliation aud for the benefit of
the whole human race. If buyer and
seller are unable to agree, there enters
a spirit of opposition, and finally there
is a strike.
"The question is met on the same
Inhuman and inhumane level in which
it is viewed by the employer. The peo
ple decline to sell their only wealth ex
cept under fairer conditions. The pro
duction of wealth Is discontinued to
determine anew the conditions under
which it shall be produced.
"But there is another view. Consider
ing the resources of the country, the
genius and ingenuity of the people and
the advance In the methods of protec
tion, the workers declare that their
share of wealth produced is not com
mensurate with that to which they are
entitled. They insist on better homes,
better surroundings, better opportuni
ties for the cultivation of all that Is
good, and a strike Is justifiable If It is
necessary.
"I don't say that I or the organization
with which I am allied advocates
strikes. No man has devoted any part
of his life to the discussion, of the labor
question or to helping the Wage earners
in the labor movement but has done all
In his power to prevent and avert
strikes.
"I huve yet to find one such in my
third of a century of connection with
the labor movement who is an advocate
of strikes.
"We don't want to strike. There is no
fun In a strike, no enjoyment. There
is some experience of an unkind and
unsympathetic character. But people
who won't fight when driven to the last
resort will never have their honor or
their Interests respected. There are
some things worse than strikea—degra
dation, demoralization und a cowardly
manhood. There comes a time when to
refuse to strike is to sign the enslave
ment of the workers.
"All history has proved that the best
preventive of strikes is preparedness
for them. That may sound to some peo
ple like preparing for Industrial war,
but it is not so. If peace Is to be pre
served in the world of nations, It must
come from one of two things—all na
tions being armed or all being dis
armed. If one nation Is urined, It Is
madness for another to remuln un
armed.
"The employers of modern times are
in their nature organizations fully
equipped for assault against workmen.
The possession of wealth is in itself an
industrial armament of the employing
classes to carry out their own sweet
will, and the best manner of prevent
ing impositions and the exercise of
tyrannical powers, the invasion of the
rights of others, is to make them im
possible or too expensive.
"In olden times slaves and workers
manifested discontent by taking up the
bludgeon or dirk for personal venge
ance. In our times organized wage
earners are contributing a few pennies
a week or a month to a fund which
shall be for the working
people, so that at the last analysis
they may say that they want a voice
in selling their labor, in determining
hours that shall not be burdensome
und in demanding a share of the
wealth they create and if it is neces
sary to strike the fund will supply
bread to maintain the long siege."
As a social factor the speaker said
that strikes were always elevating, as
men to replace those thrown out of
work in an unsuccessful strike were
either previously unemployed or prob
ably not getting as high wages, while
those out of work could not do worse
than trade plnces with the others,
though, being of a superior moral cour
age and stamina, they would probably
maintain their previous level.
What would be the present condi
tions if it were not for the strikes of
early times In this country and Eng
land he said he would rather leave to
the Imagination than attempt to de
scribe.
Of the coal strike he said that It
was the outbreak of desperate men
agninst the conditions that had pre
vailed for twenty-five years, and that
deplorable as were some of its results,
yet all should agree that it had made
for the general good and had made
the people think of great problems in
n new attitude, compelling study of
the relations not only of employer to
employee, but also of man to man, and
he congratulated all who had contrib
uted to the strike.
The educational vulue of the labor
movement, he said, was found in the
fact that we are moving toward the
day when reason shall take the place
of force, and the worker was being
educated to think not of .himself alone,
but to help bear the burdens of others.
THE MATRON'S SPEECH.
Eloquence That Quelled a Riot In a
Military Hospital.
Iu the "Memories of u Hospital Ma
tron" a writer in the Atlantic Monthly,
who was head of a Confederate hos
pital during the war, relates this ex
citing incident:
"Our steward, a meek little man,
came to me one day, pale with fright,
and said that the convalescents had
stormed the bakery, taken out the half
cooked bread and scattered it about
the yard, beaten the buker and threat
ened to hang the steward. I hurried
to the scene to throw myself into the
breach before the surgeon should ar
rive with the guard and arrest the of
fenders. I found the new bakery lev
eled to the ground and 200 excited
men clamoring for the bread which,
they declared, the steward withheld
from them from meanness or stole for
his own benefit.
" 'And what do you say of the ma
tron?' I nsked, rushing among them.
'Do you think that she, through whose
hands the bread must pass, is a party
to the theft? Do you accuse me, who
have nursed you through months of
illness, making you chicken soup when
we had not seen a chicken for a year,
forcing an old breastbone to do duty
for months for those unreasonable fel
lows who wanted to see the chicken;
me, who gave you a greater variety In
peas than was ever known before and
who lately stewed your rats when the
cook refused to touch them? And this
Is your gratitude! You tear down my
bakehouse, beat my baker and want
to hang my steward!'
"To my surprise the angry men
laughed and cheered. A few days later
there came to me a 'committee' of
two sheepish looking fellows to ask
my acceptance of a ring. Each of the
poor men had subscribed something
from his pittance, and their old ene
my, the steward, had been sent to town
to make the purchase. Accompanying
the ring was a bit of dirty paper on
which was written, 'For our chief ma
tron, in honor of her brave conduct on
the day of the bread riot.'"
THE COOKBOOK.
To prevent eggs from cracking when
they are boiling, place a pin in the
saucepan.
If you get too much salt in the gravy,
a pinch of brown sugar will remedy the
saltness without hurting the gravy in
the least.
When onions are of too strong flavor
to be pleasunt for sauce, boil a turnip
with them, but remove it before using
the onions.
Never fry more than six oysters at
once unless you have a very large ket
tle of fat. If more are cooked, they will
soak grease and take a long time to
brown.
Don't forget that mincemeat is a
great deal better to be made a week or
ten days before it is to be used. The
spices and cider, etc., have thus time to
percolate the apple and meat.
Peanut salad is an excellent accom
paniment for roast duck. Soak a cupful
of peanut meats in olive oil, drain and
mix lightly with two cupfuis of finely
cut celery, and a dozen pitted olives.
Serve with mayonnaise dressing on let
tuce leaves.
Plea For the Wooden Shoe.
"We have wisely taken to wearing
sandals," says a Philadelphia physi
cian. "I hope that before long we will
learn the advantage of the wooden
shoe, or sabot. Do you know that a
great many diseases are due to leather
shoes, due to the wearing all day long
of tight leather that is often, in bad
weather, water soaked? And do you
know that by the wearing of wooden
shoes, which keep the feet dry and
which do not 'draw,' all those diseases
might be avoided? I have several
pairs of snbots, and BO have my wife
and children. They cost about 80
cents a puir and keep the feet dry,
without cramping them or making
them unhealthily tender. 1 believe that
the wisest thing Americans could do
would be to take up the sandal and
the sabot, discarding altogether the
shoe of leather."
Didn't Know About Cashboy*.
Uncle Poduuk (shopping in town, to
saleswoman) How much fer them
socks?
Saleswoman Twenty-five cents a
pair.
Uncle Podunk (putting his hand in
his pocket)— All right. Gimme a pair.
Saleswoman Yes, sir. Cash, here!
C-a-a-a-s-h!
Uncle Podunk Thuudcr and mud,
woman! Ye needn't holler It so durn
loud! 1 know It's cash here, an' ain't
I feelin' fer it as fast as I kin?— New
York Times.
Galranl'a Discovery.
It is to the wife of Professor Galvini
of Bologna that is due the credit of
having discovered the electrical bnt
tery which bears his name. Some
skinned frogs lay upon the table, and,
noticing a convulsive movement in
their limbs, she called her husband's
attention to the strange fact, who In
stituted a series of experiments, and
in 1791 he laid the foundation of the
galvanic battery.
Their Luck.
"Just my luck," said Borem. "She's
always out when I call."
"So she was telling me," said Miss
Pepprey.
"She told you the same thing, eh?"
"Yes. Only she said it was Just her
luck."—Philadelphia Press.
Hard Luck.
She-Bemuse I cannot marry you (lo
not be disheartened. You must face
the world bravely.
lie —It Isn't n question of the world;
I've got to face my creditora.
HUMOR OF THE HOUR
Nothing to Conceal.
The fair plaintiff In the breach of
promise case was undergoing a crosa
examination at the hands of the attor
ney for the defense.
"Now, Miss Gurleigh," he said, "how
long had you known the defendant In
this case before he asked you to marry
him?"
"About five years, I think."
"Did he ever go with any other young
women, so far as you know?"
"Oh, yes; several."
"Was he engaged to any of them?"
"Not to my knowledge."
"He was not; very good. When did
he begin coming to see you?"
"About two years ago."
"Just so; about two years ago. Did
he ever ask your father for permission
to pay liis addresses to you?"
"Hold on!" interposed tlie other law
yer. "I object."
"So did papa!" snapped the fair
plaintiff.—Chicago Tribune.
Prolouging; the A,roar.
Gngger—How did you like my vaude
ville turn lust night?
Crlttick—'Well, I didn't think you
took proper udvuntage of your oppor
tunities.
Gagger—You didn't think so, eh?
Crlttick—No; you hud several oppor
tunities to get off the Btuge much soon
er than you did.—Philadelphia Press.
Here's Hoplujr.
"I pluyed the port of a sage at the
fancy dress party lust night, and Miss
Richgirl asked me to advise her."
"What did you tell her?"
"I told her she ought to marry some
poor mun."
"Is she going to?"
"I dou't know. I haven't asked her
yet."—Detroit Free Press.
Coarsely Practical.
"I'm afraid you will not make n pe
cuniary success of your profession,"
said the physician's friend.
"Why not?"
"You tell people what's the matter
with them In ordinary language. You
can't scare a man thoroughly unless
you give him a llttleXatln and Greek."
—Washington Star.
Evidence.
"They say that a man can't tell a lie
with his hands open."
"Y'es, and I have evidence of It."
"What?"
"You clinched your fists when you
called inc a scoundrel the other day."—
Chicago News.
How Glorious!
Jones —What would you do if you
were to wake up tomorrow morning
nnd find yourself famous?
Bones—Lie down again and sleep till
I felt like getting up for once.
Their Lack.
"Just my luck," snld Borem. "She's
always out when I call."
"So she was telling me," said Miss
rep prey.
"She toftl you the same thing, eh?"
"Yes, only she said it was Just her
luck."— Philadelphia Press.
Proof Poiittive.
Hix—l noticed your wife sitting by
the window sewing this morning. I
thought you told me yesterday she was
ill.
Dix—So she wae, but toduy she's on
the mend.—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Sentenced For Life.
"What did Miss Antique do when she
was finally successful In finding a man
under her bed—send for a policeman?"
"No; slie sent for a minister."—Judge.
When Lnnannffe Fall*.
Philologists have told us how
Our language gradually grew
To the profuseness It has now
From simple sounds a very few.
How aboriginally we
Expressed in grunts our love nnd hate,
Our Joy and grief, which you'll agree
Was really most inadequate.
How later came the formal word
That, spoken, stood for this or that—
For implement or beast or bird
Or flesh or fowl or round or flat.
And followed then the parts of speech—
The verb, the adjective and noun—
And eke the other six that teach
Our sorely puzzled youth to frown.
Then words and words on words were
piled,
And lexicons by scores were made:
The wells of English undeflled
In time grew much too deep to wade.
But. oh, how feeble language Is
When people heedless leave the car
Or enter It In front—gee whiz!
It Is Indeed too weak by far!
—Chicago Daily News,
JUST LIKE MOTHER.
An Early Mornlnv Letter With an
Important Announcement.
That domestic ambulance corps of
which mother or wife or sister has
charge, being accustomed to all the ac
cidents that befall heedless men folk,
can sometimes deal with them at long
range. Thus the New York Mail and
Express tells how, at 6 o'clock in the
morning of the wedding day, a post
office messenger rang the bell at the
home of the bride to be and handed out
a special delivery letter.
It was addressed to the best man,
who had come forty miles to second his
best friend in the ceremony, and was,
with several others, the guest of the
bride's parents. The best man was
still sound asleep, but he was promptly
awakened on the supposition that the
letter must contain something of impor
tance.
It did, Indeed. Rubbing his eyes in
an effort to understand, he tore open
the envelope and was astonished to
find a sheet of letter paper, with a large
needle of the sort men always choose
when emergency compels them to sew
thrust through it and a foot of black
thread doubled and trailing in a loose
tangle down the page.
The best man thought it was a joke,
but he could not see It, and he was
about to become resentful when, upon
turning the sheet, he found this hastily
written note:
Dear Brother—Mother says there Is a
button off your dress coat. It is In your
waistcoat, right hand pocket. Sew it on.
Crawling out of bed, the best man ex
amined his coat and laughed to see that
the situation had been accurately de
scribed In the letter. "Just like moth
er," he said. "She has probably lost a
whole night's sleep thinking about that
button."
Later in the day four bridesmaids
gleefully assisted in making the repairs,
and this telegram went to mother:
Button sewed on. Don't worry.
KEEPING A LOGBOOK.
The System of Abbreviations Used on
Merchant Vessels.
How many lundsmen know how a
logbook is written up? It seems just as
complicated as double entry bookkeep
ing when one does not know, but after
a little careful attention and study it's
as easy to keep a logbook as to eat hot
gingerbread. There is a list of letters
arranged, and they look like so much
Greek to the uneducated.
The letter b, for instance, stands for
blue sky, whether there be clear or
hazy atmosphere. C means cloudy or
detached, opening clouds; d denotes
drizzling rain; a small J, fog; capital F,
thick fog; g. gloomy, dark weather; h,
hail; I, lightning, and m, misty or hazy
so as to interfere with the view.
The letter o represents overcast or
when the whole sky is covered with one
impenetrable cloud. Passing showers
are noted by the letter p, and q indi
cates the weather to be squally. Con
tinuous rain is indicated by an r, snow
by an s and thunder by at. Any ugly,
threatening appearance in the weather
calls for the letter u, and visibility of
distant objects, whether the sky be
cloudy or not, is represented by the let
ter v. A small w is wet dew. A full
point or dot under any letter denotes
an extraordinary degree. As an exam
ple of how the letters are used take
q p d 1 t. This reads very hard squalls
and showers of drizzle, accompanied by
lightning, with very heavy thunder.
Numerals denote the force of the wind.
A cipher indicates calm, 1 light air, 2
light breeze, 3 gentle breeze, 4 moder
ate breeze, 5 fresh breeze, C strong
breeze, 7 moderate gale, 8 fresh gale,
9 strong gale, 10 whole gale, 11 storm,
12 hurricane. This system of abbrevi
ation is generally adhered to on all
merchant vessels.
Quicksand*.
Quicksands have a horrible fascina
tion for writers and readers of fiction,
and the reality is every bit as bad as
fancy paints It. One of the most re
markable quicksand accidents occurred
years ago in New Zealand. Two pros
pectors were wading across the mouth
of a small stream running into the sea
in the north island of New Zealund.
Both stepped into a quicksand. One
who merely touched the edge of it got
loose. The other sank rapidly and, In
spite of his companion's efforts, was
sucked under. When an attempt was
made to recover the body, it was found
that the sand was enormously rich In
gold. From a single ton of It £3OO
worth of gold was washed.—Pearson's.
Ilia Audience.
First Pianist—Did you have much of
an audience at your recital yesterday
afternoon?
Second Pianist Splendid! There
were two men, three women nnd a
boy. The hoy, I afterward learned,
was employed about the place, nnd the
two men came In for shelter, as it was
raining at the time, but the three wom
en were nil right. They came to hear
me, I know, for I gave them the passes
myself.—Boston Transcript.
He Took tlie Watch.
It is told of the late Dr. Parker that
when n very, very, very good young
man came to him asking whether he
should accept for ccrtnln special serv
ice a gold watch from an agnostic em
ployer he replied: "Take It, my lad;
take It. If he had been a Christian,
perhaps he would not have offered it to
you."
Great Labor Saver.
Customer —The metal In that knife
you sold me Is as soft as putty. It got
dull the first time I used it.
Dealer—Y'-e-s, but think how ensy It
will be to sharpen.—New York Weekly.
Men who mind their own business
are usunlly successful because they
have very little competition.—Chicago
New*.
THE COURT OF CUPID
SOME DEFINITIONS OF LOVE, POETIC
AND OTHERWISE.
Differing Tones That Blend Into a
Harmonious Matrimonial Chord*
Diverse Views as to What Consti
tutes "The Ideal Woman."
Tennyson says in the spring a young
man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts
of love. With the young men and wo
men of Vigo county consideration of
this interesting theme is not confined
to one season. It has the right of way
at all times and seasons.
Definitions of love were being dis
cussed when a refined woman said the
most comprehensive and beautiful defi
nition she had ever seen was writtAi
by Amanda Douglas. Here it is:
"Love comes with truth in her heart
and constancy In every pulse to sit
down nn everlasting guest in the hearts
of those who truly welcome her. If "
there are sorrows and storms, she
spreads her wings for an ark of shel
ter; if toil and care, she lightens them
with her blessed smile. No room for
regrets or jealousies, for both are true
in deed and thought; no coldness, for
she stands between them and the
frosts of time. Year by year they grow
Into perfect accord, bringing heaven
nearer with every dawn.
"Can such love ever fail?"
A jolly girl present said, "Love Is a
tickling sensation round the heart that
cannot be scratched."
A modest, blushing young lady re
marked, "It Is something indescriba
ble, must be spontaneous, cannot be
bought or coaxed into being and when
it grows cold cannot be warmed." Still
we hear people constantly saying, "I
learned to love him."
There is no subject upon which a man
or woman, young or middle aged, pro
vided they are not married, will be
come so animated as "my ideal woman"
and "my ideal man."
Usually the tall men and women ad
mire those of medium or diminutive
stature; the fat, the lean; the blond, the
brunette; the jolly, the sedate. The un
ion of two people with different charac
teristics, provided they agree on the
fundamentals, makes a harmonious
whole, the one furnishing the needed
complement of the other.
The lawyer prefers the woman averse
to arguing. He gets his sufficiency of
close reasoning in the courtroom. The
garrulous man seeks a good listener.
• The conceited one admires the modest
woman who enjoj's burning incense be
fore his altar. The man of few words
picks out the woman of bright conver
sational powers.
It is difficult to surmise from a man's
general attributes what is his ideal wo
man.
I asked a Terre Haute gentleman who
has been much in public life and has
been thrown with many brilliant wo
men what was his ideal woman. I was
surprised to hear him say emphatically
not a convention woman or one who
goes about delivering speeches and lec
tures upon a public rostrum. "My ideal
woman Is one who can hold her own in
conversation with other women and
men of brains in the parlor, who is self
reliant, yet looks to a man and depends
upon him; not too good to drink a glass
of wine, to tell a good story if the occa
sion warrants It, yet she must not be
carried off her feet. She must be able
to work both physically and mentally
and be ashamed to follow In the wake
of idle women."
A society young man not given to ex
plicit statements has confided this
much about his ideal woman. She
must be good looking. Perish the
thought of sitting opposite an ugly wo
man at the table one thousand and
ninety-five times in a year. His ideal *
woman must not be bold, still not
afraid of athletic sports; must be a
good golf and tennis player, ride a
horse with confidence, fire a gun, row
with a steady stroke. "A superb look
ing, well proportioned woman in the
saddle is a sight for the gods." Any
thing but a namby pamby woman, one
afraid of her shadow, for this young
fellow.
There is a proverb that runs thus:
"Whistling girls and crowing hens al
ways come to some bad end." At least
one Terre Haute gentleman thinks
this is an absurd statement. In fact,
the ability to whistle well he regards
as an essential in his ideal woman.
And she must have rich, glossy hair,
luminous dark eyes, shapely hands and
finger nails, dainty feet, be jolly and
companionable, u person to cheer a fel
low up when worried and worn out
with business. No bookworm or wo
man's suffrage advocate can be classed
as his ideal. A lover of music, not the
ultra classic, is an essential for this
gentleman's ideal woman.
A bold, dashing youth holds as his
ideal a womanly woman, even to ti
midity, but morally brave, one who will
regard him as her oak and clasp her
soft tendrils about him for support.
This dependence, he avers, will keep
him at his best and his ideal refined,
sweet, noble, human.—Susan W. Bali
in Terre Haute Gazette.
Thu Apology.
"You mustn't eat with your knife,"
said the city relative reproviugly.
"Excuse me," answered Farmer
Corntossel penitently. "I thought they
was regular knives. I didn't know they
was only imitation, same as the pillow
shams."—Washington Star.
She Dlil.
Returned Traveler—l have often
thought of that young Mr. Tease and
how he used to torment Miss Auburn
about her hair. Did she ever get even
with him?
Old Friend—Long ago. She married
him.—lllustrated Bits.
Nothing can be truly great which Is
not right— Johnson.