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NOAH WEBSTER'S BIRTHPLACE.
The Quaint Old House Still Standing
Near West Hartford.
The old house is still standing, one
mile south of West Hartford, on the
Newington road, in which, in 1758,
was born America's great lexicogra
pher. His father, a descendant in the
fourth generation from John Webster,
who previous to 16f50 was governor of
Connecticut, was militia captain In
the time of the revolution, and tho
son, who had already begun his stud
ies which were to fit him for his toil
as a linguist, abandoned them for a
time anil served in his father's com
pany. The house of the Websters is
on the west side of the way, and
"fronting sunrise" and the city of
Hartford, commands a fine view of
the surrounding country. It is shad
ed by maples and an elm, which lat
ter tree, as the easily believed tradi
tion runs, was planted by CapL Web
ster when his scholar-son was a boy.
The house stands with the side to
the street, and the front door, in
keeping with the style In vogue of
yore, is ornamented with a knocker.
Two stories high in front, the house
has two large ffont rooms on the
first floor, ono on each side of the
front entry. In keeping with the old
style, these rooms show the large
aheathed beams lower than the plas
tered ceiling. In the story above are
two bed rooms, corresponding to the
square room below. The back of the
house is but one story high, the roof
sloping down unbroken from the
ridge. A huge chimney In the cen
ter of the house affords three fire
places, one for each of the front rooms
and one for a large room on the west
Bide of the house. This latter wa3
the "living room" of tho Websters.
North of it is a pantry, and south
of it a sleeping room. Projecting to
the westward is an "L" in which there
is another large chimney with the
fireplace and brick oven that was con
sidered indispensable to the kitchen
of old-time housekeepers. The tradi
tions do not mention which room of
the Webster house it was In which
the country's dictionary maker was
born, nor do they give the exact date
of the death of his father, Capt. Web
ster, nor tho time when tho farm
passed from the Websters to other
hands. The encyclopedias say that
Dr. Webster was born in Hartford,
which statment was true, for Hart
ford once Included the territory which
Is now West Hartford. The highway
on which the Webster house stands is
one of the finest for a drive to be
found in the state of Connecticut.
Though a valley road, it is for some
of the distance so far above the lands
on either side as to give the traveler
a fine view of the landscape for miles
around. It Is a wide way, and ono
that was laid out when people liked
room and had it.
MME. PATH'S GCSPEL OF HEALTH.
Great Prima Donna Lays Down Some
Reasonable Rnlei.
The following is printed as the
famous prima donna's code:
"To be healthy is the natural state,
and disease is, in nine cases out of
ten, our punishment for some indis
cretion or excess.
"Every time we are ill it is part of
our remaining youth which we squan
der. Every recovery, whether from
lueadache or pneumonia, is accomplish
ed by the strenuous effort of vitality,
and is therefore a waste of your capi
tal of life.
"Therefore, don't let yourself be ill.
"The best plan to avoid illness is to
live regularly, simply, with a frugality
that stupid persons alone will seem
painful or eccentric.
"Sleep eight hours in every twenty
four.
"Ventilate the rooms in which you
work and sleep. Very few people, even
among those who think they are
well up in modern ideas, have any con
ception of what ventilation means.
Even when my voice was the only
thing I had in the world I slept with
my windows wide open, summer and
winter, and never caught cold in that
way.
"Examine seriously into your list of
social obligations, have the good sense
to recognize that there is neither
pleasure nor profit in most of what
you regard as essential in that line,
and simplify your social life —simplify
it all you can.
"Make your home a pleasant place
cheerful, but well within your means.
"Drink nothing but water or milk—
especially drink lots of water. You
can never drink too much of it.
"On the other hand, remember that
alcohol Is a poison which does untold
damage within you; that beer, wine,
coffee and tea are poisons, too. Shun
all of them as would diluted vitriol.
THE DAY'S WORK,
Do the work of the day as well
As j*ou have the wit to do;
Try for the best—for the best will tell
What was tho end in view.
Always your best—it is cheap to shirkj
The best makes the worker glad;
And people remember the better work.
Forgetting tho weak and bad.
They remember the careful tool
As well as the perfect song.
Scant is tho memory for a fool,
Or him who is idle long.
People remember the honest few
Who gave of the best they had—
They will remember the cood you do,
And always forget tho bad.
Do tho work of the day as well
AB though it would close your toil.
He who a eermon in stone would tell
Must chisel and carve and raoiJ.
Weak and lifeless, or firm and true.
The work of the day is set.
People remember the good we do—
The bad they will soon forget.
Yesterday is a record made,
Changeless, for good or ill;
Hands to-day must be unafraid,
Ready to work your will.
Useless, to-morrow, to sadly rue
Plans that were far from sure.
People remember the gobd you do,
And they forget the poor.
—VV. D. Nesbit, in Baltimore American.
I
Sit®
ft? J*
Ralph Masson -was a consumptive.
Yon knew It by the bright hopeful eye,
the dull pale skin, and the nervous Ir
ritable cough that accentuated his
slightest speech and racked his at
tenuated frame. And his tempera
mental vivacity was due to the same
dread disease 'that while consuming
life dazzles tho senses with golden vis
lons of longevity.
Masson was night telegraph operator
at a small station on the Illinois Cen
tral Railroad between Chicago and
New Orleans, In a locality where pine
forests modlfled the air with a tonic
of balsam for hurt lungs and the dry,
sandy soil furnished u chance for open
air exercise. Masson owned a good
horse and at hours when he Was duty
free he rode his race for life with aes't
and satisfaction. Like all consump
tives his spirits increased as his uealth
declined, and ho saw with feverish In
tensity a long vista of future pros
perity.
Something peculiar In tho mental
make-up of the young operator was
both Interesting and baffling to new
acquaintances, but it was merely the
expression of a cult which is not yet
one of tho exact sciences, but which
has immense undeveloped possibili
ties.
Ralph Masson was a student of
psychic phenomena, a firm believer In
telepathy and an ardent investigator
Into every new occult theory, 1-Ie was
himself a hypnotist, possessing a na
tural gift, cultivated and developed by
study and practice. At Harvey Sta
tion be had small opportunity to Im
prove this faculty, but there was one
family living a few miles down the
line where he found a willing convert
to his peculiar views, and what was
more Important a valuable subject to
carry them out successfully.
Margaret Lansing, a girl of eigh
teen, became Infatuated with the
strange new power anil gave Masson
her Intelligent co-operation when at an
evening entertainment at the little dis
trict schoolhouse, before ho went en
duty, he gave an exhibition of his skill
and easily sent her Into a profound
hypnotic sleep. Her family and
friends were present and gave their
consent, looking upon it as a part of
the evening's entertainment and see
ing nothing serious in the perform
ance. They were merely amused and
incredulous when, laying his hand on
her forehead with a light touch, he
said:
"Go over to tho station, go into the
office, and tell me what you see there."
He did not know that she could or
woulcT submit to the test; she had
doubtless been there at some time and
might describe it from memory, and
the test would be of no value. She
did not respond quickly, and lie re
peated the command. After a moment
she began to shiver as with fear.
"What do you see?"
Two men who look like robbers.
They are breaking open a desk."
"Can you describe the men?"
"One is young and one is old. They
wear caps and have handkerchiefs
tied over the lower part of their
faces."
"Look through the handkerchiefs
and tell me what you see."
"The one who is young has a ret?
mustache and one eye Is gone. The
HIS nxxn WAS ox THE KEY.
other has white hair and a smooth
face. They are working in a hurry.
Ah-h-li. they arc caught!"
The girl's breath was indrawn with
a sob. Tho hypnotist made a few
passes over her and she came to her
self weak and exhausted.
"dome of you fellows go over to the
station and see If slie Is right," sug
gested Masson, who was deadly pale
and much excited.
The Investigating party soon re
turned, for they had met n posse
which had surprised the robbers at
their work. Tho men they had cap
tured were two tramps who were ex
actly as the girl had described them.
No one was more astonished than
Masson himself, or more overjoyed,
for It demonstrated as a fact the
power that he feared might be Action.
When on other occasions Halph
Masson followed up this feat by oth
ers quite as wonderful, employing
Margaret Lansing as a subject, her
family objected. They argued that It
would Injure her health, possibly
wreck her nerves, and that nothijig
good would result from dabbling in
mysteries. Mnssou was greatly disap
pointed, for he felt that the success
of a great discovery depended on the
girl. What might he not accomplish
by her assistance? He might teach
her to read the stars, to fathom tho se
crets of infinitude! And here he fouud
himself unable to cope with the first
edict of parental authority.
The parents were undoubtedly right.
They saw on their daughter's part an
other kind of infatuation, a growing
fondness for this young man whose
days were numbered. Science was
nothing when put In the scales with
tlleir love for their child. Masson ap
pealed to Margaret Lansing as a sick
man always appeals to a healthy, sym
pathetic woman. First, pity, then
love. He who has brutal health can
never know the sweat recompenses of
weakness. Tour robust man has no
charm compared to the pleading love
of an invalid. Ralph had said to Mar
garet that he could hypnotize her at a
distance.
"I can bring you to mc at any time
by calling you and willing you to
come. It will be impossible for you
not to obey mo."
She had smiled Into his bright, com
pelling eyes with a faltli and belief
that were sublime, and held herself
In readiness to go like a bird of the
nlr when he called her, but nothing
came of It, for he had tried—and
failed. His mind could not control
hers by any distant treatment, and he
had never been able to roach her by
either telepathy or hypnosis.
One night when Masson was on duty
at his station he received a telegram
from Rawlins, ten miles down tho
line.
: WASHOUT AT BRIS- I
! COE; WARN 2.20 EX- :
: PRESS. THIS OFFICE :
: CANNOT REACH THEM. :
It was signed with tho name' of the
night operator at Rawlins, and there
was hardly a half hour before the
train was duo at Briscoe. Margaret's
father was station agent at that point,
but the express did not Btop there, and
he probably knew nothing of the
washout, and, 110 other train arriving
until morning, he would be nt home
Lipii
THE KIGHT EXPRESS CAME ItCSHIXG OX.
and asleep. It was five miles to Bris
coe and raining hard; no horse could
make the distance in time to give tho
alarm. And hundreds of sleeping men
and women were speeding to curtain
death.
Tho young operator felt an uncon
trollable weariness and lethargy creep
ing over him, but he pulled himself to*
gether with a desperate effort that
made every nerve tingle and vibrate.
He was speaking aloud, although alone
in his office.
"Margaret! Margaret! Margaret!
Get your father's red lantern; go
down to tho Briscoe River aud swing
a danger signal for the 2.20 express.
Go at once, I command you, my dear
love! Go, go, go! In God's name rise
from your sleep, Margaret, and go!"
The night express came rushing
on to Briscoe station when Engineer
Preston saw far ahead of him a tiny
red spark glowing. Instinct in the
man rend its meaning before it had
grown to proportions that signaled
danger. The train slowed up with
such unwillingness of steam and driv
ing wheel, such a mighty groaning and
grinding of the whole outfit, that the
stubborn resistance threw passengers
out of the berths and brought the
throbbing, shrieking engine to a stand
still on the very brink of destruction
where a white-robed figure with un
bound hair swung with persistence
and monotonous repetition tho red lan
tern that had averted death.
The train men wrapped Margaret
in blunkets and carried her bewildered,
distraught, almost lifeless to her home
where she feil unconscious Into nor
mother's arms, while tho grateful pas
sengers filled the hours they must
wait with plaudits of her brave deed
and talked of the medal she should
have some day.
And Ralph Masson? When his as
sistant relieved him at the office at
early morning his hand was on the
key, but his head was bowed and
he neither moved nor spoke. In that
supreme effort he had found release. —
Mrs. M. L. ltayne, in the Chicago
Record-Herald.
AUSTRALIAN SEA FISHING.
Angling Fol Schnappor, Ntinnyßlil, Mot
wong aud Shark.
Sea fishing Is the Alpha and Omega
of most fishing in Australia. We leave
Sydney harbor about midnight in a
small tug, so as to be on the further
fishing grounds at daybreak. Now we
are out botween the heads, and at last
a chilly dawn creeps over the sea. We
are at rest, too, broadside to the rollers,
and It is good to go up tho narrow
companion and on deck aud find the
lines we left neatly colled In corners
over night The two deck hands are
busy cutting up the bait, a score or so
of mullet yollowtalls and squid. We
are ready, and our eight leads go nl
most together over the side, all on the
same quarter, so that the lines may
stream clear of the tug and of each
other*. Down they go, and still down,
a good forty fathoms, and the moment
the lead touches bottom wo hold on. A
moment or two passes and some one Is
Into a good fish, which is hauled and
played on tho thin line with great care
and patience, and proves to be a sil
very morwong of six or seven pounds
weight—a handsome enough fish to
the stranger, yet dubbed, with a sneer,
"wrong color," by Us captor and bis
Australian friends.
The discontented one seems in luck's
way, for no sooner has he again baited
1113 hooks—each lino, I ought to have
said, carries two and a heavy lend—
that he is onee -more fighting with an
even larger fish, but the line sheers
away ominously near the surface, and
there Is a general cry of "Shark!" as It
Is Indeed seen that one of these white
bellied, shovel-snouted brutes has both
his hooks. But the tackle Is strong;
there is nothing in reason to part so
long as the shark cannot get the Une
between its teeth, and it is at last
lifted bodily on the deck, five feet and
more of It, and soon clearing breath
ing space with the great sweeping
strokes of Its tail.
The first fi3h that I am destined to
catch In these strange waters is as cu
rious in name as in nppearance.
"Nannygal" it is enlled, which Irresist
ibly, though doubtless good aboriginal,
reminds one of nannygoat, and it Is of
a brilliant scarlet with huge protrud
ing black eyes. Very good eating Is
this same nannygai, but more valuable
on account of Its Invariably Indicating
the presence of a big schnapper. No
sooner, indeed, have I hauled my nan
nygai than one or two of the party in
stantly haul In their lines to see that
the baits are right, and that a good op
portunity may not be lost. For we are
not anchored la one spot The Pacific
Is too deep, the ground too rough, tho
swells from tho south too sudden and
violent to admit of such a plan. On
tho contrary, wo drive with the tido
over the reefs, a kind of schnapper bat
tue, and are thus enabled to go to the
fish when thoy will not come to us.
Good schnapper arc now caught on all
sides, and I must say that my first
really heavy schnapper warrants all
the hopes that I had based on a some
what long and intimate acquaintance
with his feebler cousin, the red bream
of the English channel—London Trav
eler.
Men Choerod Florence Nightingale.
The late Sir John Steele, sculptor to
Queen Victoria, was modeling a bust
of Florence Nightingale, when an of
ficer of one of the Highland regiments
which had suffered so cruelly in the
Crimean, heard that the bust had just
been completed, and was in Sir John's
studio. Many of the men in his com
pany had pussed through the hospital
at Scutari, and he obtained permission
from tho sculptor to bring some of
them to sec it. Accordingly a squad
of men one day marched into the big
studio and stood in line.
They had 110 idea why they iiad been
mustered in so strange a place. With
out a word of warning the bust was
uncovered, and then, as by one im
pulse tho men broke rank, and with
cries of "Miss Nightingale! Miss
Nightingale!" surrounded the model,
and with hats off cheered the figure of
their devoted nurse until the roof
rang.
So spontaneous and hearty and so
inspiring was the whole scene that in
after days Sir Johu Steele declared
it to be the greatest compliment of his
life.—Sunday Magazine.
Won't Sparc All the Trees.
There Is no slight ignorance in tho
cry that is so often raised with regard
to the removal or cutting down of treys
in tho parks, and it lias recently been
displaying itself with certain trees
that have been already, or are to be,
got rid of In the course of carrying
out the Piccadilly widening. As a
matter of fact, most of them were so
close together, that their branches in
termingled, and any one acquainted
with the subject knows that this is
most injurious to the proper growth
of the individual tree. The truth Is
that in the public parks, as In most
private properties, plantations require,
from time to time, to be thinned out.
It Is rumored that it has been found
necessary to remove some 120 odd
trees from the gardens of Buckingham
Palace, and in Lord Rathmore's time
drastic measures had to he taken with
the overgrowth in the Chestnut ave
nue in the Regent's Park witii splendid
results that are now abundantly ap
parent on Chestnut Sunday.—Pall Mall
Gazette.
Blessed is the peacemaker, for he
alwuys gets the worst of it.
Aro Worth Paying For.
Tile Good Koads organization of the
State of Now York has at last
reached the conclusion that good roads
cannot be achieved except by paying
for them, and has therefore decided to
press for an appropriation from the
legislature of $1,000,000 for the cur
lent year, the lull amount to be ex
pended upon the highways of the
State.
As a starter, and in the absence of
securing anything better, It Is to be
hoped the efforts of the organization
may prove successful. If the appro
priation of a million dollars per annum
could be made continuous for a suffi
cient number of years, undoubtedly in
due time the State would find Itself
in possesssion of first-class highways.
Continuous appropriations, however,
cannot be counted upon, and in the
meantime the sporadic millions ap
propriated will he so spread out over
the State as to really accomplish no
practical or permanent results.
The great State of Ohio years ago
solved the good roads problem, when
its Legislature passed a law divid
ing tlie State into districts and mak
ing it compulsory upon each district
to build its own roads and keep them
In repair, the lands themselves being
taxed for the cost In proportion to
the benefits received. The owners of
the lands put up an energetic kick
cgainst tlie scheme, but the law stood
the test, with the result that Ohio
to-day has the most perfect system
of public roads of Dot only any State
In tbe Union, but of any equal area
In tbe wurld.
The roads cost too farmers a good
round sum, and for several years tbe
burden upon the land seemed nlmost
too heavy to bear, but the end justi
fied the means, and now 110 farmer
would be willing to surrender the
roads and take back his proportion
of the cost.
The good roads have more than re
imbursed the lands for their cost, and
tliey are there for all time to come, the
keeping of them In repair being to a
very large extent a labor of love.—
St Louis Star.
Bltumlnoon Macadam.
By the use of carefully and scien
tifically prepared bituminous cements,
skilfully mixed with crushed stone
under the direction of men who have
had years of practical experience in
handling bituminous materials suita
ble for street pavements, a great Im
provement is made over the ordinary
method employed in constructing ma
cadam roads.
Tbe advantages of bituminous ma
cadam properly constructed are its dur
ability, its being Impervious to water,
frost proof In winter, and preventing
mud, dust and loose stones in summer.
It makes a clean, comparatively noise
less and attractive roadway, while the
ordinary macadam road in general use
In this country soon wears bndly under
traffic, making mud or dust, aud soon
allows the stones to loosen.
A bituminous macadam road Is wa
terproof. It does not absorb tbe filth of
the street, and prevents the washing
by benvy rains to which the ordinary
macadam road is subject.
(Jood and uniform results cannot be
obtained by tbe use of common coal
tar obtained from gas works in differ
ent sectlQns of the country. In fact, It
Is impossible to secure a bituminous
cement from the products of the aver
age gas works which will produce
good result.
The construction of this form of road
way demands the services of experts
in this line of work. The ordinary
coal tar has been tried repeatedly dur
ing tbe last thirty years. With a very
few exceptions it lias been a total fail
ure.
The crown of a road when finished
may vary on different roads, or even
on different grades of the same road,
from one-half Inch to one Inch to the
foot. Of course, no Inflexible data can
be given until tbe requirements of that
special road are known.
Where tlie travel Is light a good road
can be built with six inches of gravel
and a light coat of crushed stone placed
on top. This works well on a steep
grade.
A Now Emergency Drake.
A new emergency brake l'or electric
ears is described in a recent Issue ol
the London Electrical Review. It con
sists of four shoes, of oak or beech,
two being placed between tbe wheels
just over the rails ou each side of the
car. A small compressed-air cylinder
is maintained by a pump run from
one of the car axles. When it is nec
essary to apply the brake suddenly 1 lie
motormau simply touches a lever; lu
stautly all four of tbo brake shoes are
jammed strongly down against tlio
rails. It Is claimed that this brake
lias stopped a trolley ear going at tbe
rate of twenty miles on hour down
steep grade, within two of Us own
lengths.
Chtelly by Advertising.
A London journalist tells tbe busi
ness men of that community that the
surprising success of Americans In
placing their products among the Eng
lish people is chiefly due to the skill
nnd courage with which the Americans
advertise. "Tliey prove," be says,
"the- tremendous influence of advertis
ing in its effect ou tlie success of an
Industrial nation." The article is a
striking tribute to the importance of
publicity to business. Philadelphia
Record.
THE RUSSIAN SOLDIER.
Dull Routine aud Poor Fare of lil. Dally
Rife.
The newly-ficdged Russian soldier,
when his corners have been knocked
off, Is drafted into a regiment and pre
pared for the severe training he will
soon be forced to uudergo in camp.
If he is in tlie cavalry he will have to
rise at 4 in the morning to look to his
horse; if In the infantry he must be
out nnd about by 0 a. m„ cleaning and
mending bis clothes as the first duty
of the day. Early morning Inspection
Is followed by a call to prayers, aud
then tbe soldier, hungry enough by
now, eats Ills morning black bread and
rusks and drinks his ten, In prepara
tion for the real work of the day.
Every morning and every night tbe
Russian soldier is summoned to pray
ers. Tlie services are as much a part
of the every-day routine a3 breakfast
and supper. No other army observes
6o many religious ceremonies.
With drilling nnd riding, gyrsnas- j
ties, fencing and shooting, according
to his regiment, the soldier works hard
until the time for dinner arrives, he- I
tween 11 and 12. Afterward, until 2
o'clock, lio may sleep or rest. Two .
hours' drilling is followed by ten. Be
tween 0 and 7 tlie illiterates of the reg
iment study the arts cf reading and
writing In large classes, for lu every
regiment they form a goodly company.
The teaching is undertaken by officers,
and considering the simplicity of their
pupils their duties are hardly enviable.
At 7 o'clock comes supper; at 0 1 the
men are again summoned to prayers,
and afterward may seek their hard
and by no means luxurious beds.
The Russian soldier's diet is largely
vegetarian. Favorite dinner dishes
Include "stche"—a cabbage soup—po
tatoes, peas, beans, macaroni and va
rious kinds of porridges, eaten with
onions and lard. Only half-a-pound
of meat is allowed each man dally, (
and tbe Russian pound is ten per cent,
less than in this country. Mushrooms
aro consumed in great quantities when
In season. Three pounds of black rye
bread are Included in the dally rations,
and if any Is loft over, the men are at
liberty to sell the remains. A3 the sol
dier's bread Is very nourishing aud
purer thau the ordinary baker's, the
extra rations sell well. In the way of
drink beer Is too great a luxury for
Ivan Ivanovitch, so quenches his thlr3t
with "qvas," a cheap substitute, made
from fermented black bread, and very
wholesome. On high days the soldiers
aro regaled with vodka, often at their
officers' expense.—Pearson's Magazine.
Ra*rKBo Rights of a Corpse.
A dead man has the same rights r.s
a live one. This question has been
passed on by the chief baggage master
at the Union depot, and it was done
in a hurry, too. There were five live
persons and a deal man waiting for
the decision. The coffin was placed In
tim baggage car and then the trunks
of the five persons were weighed. -y
The weight exceeded the 150 pounds lj
for each, but if the dead man were
allowed baggage, this would solve the
difficulty. The clerk had never heard
of such n thing before. He refused
to check a trunk ou tbo dead mail's
ticket.
The train vrns ready to start. Tlio
five persons did not care to pay for the
excess baggage, neither did they like
to allow the body to go alone. The
whistle of the train tooted its first
warning.
Just then the chief baggage master
arrived. Ho took In tbo situation at
a glance.
"Check tbe trunks," ho exclaimed,
and the five hurried off in time to
eateh their train.
Then he explained to the clerk that
the General Traffic Managers' Asso
ciation had passed on the question.
This organization decided that when
a full fare ticket is paid for, for the
transportation of a corpse, the ticket
cantos with It the regular baggage
pri-ilege of "not to exceed 150 pouuds."
—Denver Post.
British Navy Better Tliati Ever.
"I have known the inner workings
of the navy Intimately for ten years
now, and I unhesitatingly affirm that
tbo mediocre men of to-dny are better
than the best men of ten years ago.
In energy, thought, zeal, brain power,
resource, Individuality, In all these and
kindred things the navy is on a de
cided up-grade, and the personnel of
the navy of the past Is simply not to
be compared with the navy of to-day.
"In all the rot nrouud us, the British
Navy Is the one thing healthy yet.
The whole aim and object of modern
naval warfare is to make the enemy
lose his head. The officers aud men
of tlio British Navy will keep their,
heads longer than any—that is the oh
ject of all their training. In the navy, -M
If a man bus distinguished himself,
lie is ashamed of it rather than other
wise, he feels no pride In it, aud !■ ens
quiet for fear of having the sue. iiig
eplphet, 'ero' applied to liirn. To So
his. job' Is the beginning and en-i of,
things with him."—Frod T. Jan.. iu
Fortnightly Review.
Ho Had the Best of It.
Professor Blank Is something of n
crank in tlie matter of correctness of
speech, and occasionally makes him
self unpleasant, not to say disagree
able, to those about him by calling
attention to their lapses from good
English.
"What is the use, Cornelius," said his
wife to him ou one occasion, "of your
trying to reform people's way of speak
ing'/ A language is like a great river.
It takes its course, and you cannot con
trol it." 1
"All, but you can!" replied tlio proyW
fessor. "You can—at tbe mouth. Look J
at the Mississippi jetties." 1
This effectually closed the mouth of
bis good wife.—Youth's Companion, v
T