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According to the Pennsylvania Bu
reau of Railways, the street railroads
in the Keystone State carried during
the fiscal year ending June 30th
580,054,029 passengera, and only one
person was killed for every 3,000,000
persons carried. Of the 111 killed
during the year 14 were employes of
the corporations.
The people of French Indo-China
are physically so weak that scientists
have been looking for the cause in the
various conditions of climate, diet,
etc. The conclusion is that the ab
sence of phosphates in the rice diet is
responsible for the physical weak
ness, so the French governor-general
Las ordered a cargo of phosphate to
be introduced into the Indo-Chinese
rice fields.
In the forward step that 5s marking
the advancement of womankind in
many countries today, Chinese women
are seeking the emancipation which
means, first of all, the liberation r.f
their feet. This important news comes
from Madam Wu who re
cently returned from a visit to her na
tive land. "Small feet are no longer
in fashion," she says. "When I went
to China, I found that the rigid bind
ing and forcing back of the growth of
the feet by my countrywomen is being
rapidly abandoned. China- has begun
to recognize the custom as barba
rous." As there are about 200,000,-
000 women in China, whose feet will,
in course of time, he enlarged by this
innovation, it may be well to call at
tention to a prospective new outlet
lor western hides. —States Success.
PRIMATE OF ALL ENGLAND,
b'omo Stories of the Present Archbishop
of Canterbury.
Many are the stories of the courage
and wit shown by the present arch
bishop of Canterbury, Dr. Temple, in
combating the attacks of the extreme
high churchmen which followed the
publication of his "Essays and Re
views." When he was nominated as
bishop of Exeter, a writer in one of
the Devon papers gave expression to
the view that "the Tories disliked Dr.
Temple's politics, and pretended that
it was his religion they objected to."
Mr. Gladstone and the queen were un
moved. Protests against the conse
cration were sent in by the bishops
of Gloucester, Hereford, Lichfield and
Lincoln. When the ceremony had been
duly performed, in spite of tho vehe
ment opposition of high churchmen
and Tories in all parts of tho country,
one church newspaper said In an edi
torial jeremiad: "And so, on that
darkest day in tho whole year, was per
petrated the darkest crime ever com
mitted in the English church!" Such
a sentence as this shows to what a
height tho animosity had run. Dr.
Benson, the most intimate of all Tem
ple's friends, thus described his bear
ing during that memorable incident in
Westminster Abbey: "Dear Temple's
face was white as ashes, and his jet
black hair and whiskers and the white
and black of his robes made him look
In his stillness a sad plight for a
friend's eye to rest upon. His healthy
bronze was quite gone, but he looked
a true man." Dr. Temple's temperance
agitation cxpopcd him to criticism
from another source. He enjoys tell
ing this story: In the west of England
he one afternoon spoke at an agricul
tural society's mooting—a kind of oc
casion at which he was eminently at
home from his knowledge of farming.
But he could not miss the opportunity
of giving some temperance bints and
advice. He remarked, with his accus
tomed grim humor, that "ho himself
had never been drunk in his life."
On his way homo he heard the boys
in the street with the papers shout
ing "Remarkable statement of tho
bishop of Exeter." The headline was
certainly a startling one. The bishop
with some curiosity opened the paper
to see what he had Raid, and found
his phrase used as a special heading;
"Never been drunk in his life!" —Wil-
liam Durban In London Outlook.
It is estimated that there are at
present about 300,000 domestic ostrich
es in South Africa.
LIFE'S LOOM.
Weaving, weaving, weaving,
Time is the warp,
Pulsing and throbbing, life's loom goes;
Spinning, spinning, spinning,
Man's deeds the woof,
Quickly and busily the shuttle he throws.
The little child takes up the task,
As soon as consciousness begins,
His tiny hands uncertain act,
As merrily he heedless spins.
The youth, with pride and confidence,
Loud vaunts the deeds he will achieve.
The future big with great events,
In blazing light his name will weave.
Hard pressed, besot, the man toils on,
Speed by the days, the months, the years,
Aghast and desperate he stands,
So small his greatest work appears.
With palsied hand, old age has come.
Slow goes the loom Fate cuts the
thread;
Wide yawns the grave; the web is spun,
A shroud is woven for tile dead.
Tia thus through life; man spina and
weaves,
Until of time and deeds complete
This mystic robe, his very self,
Becomes for him his winding-sheet.
Weaving, weaving, weaving,
Time is the warp.
Pulsing and throbbing, life's loom goes;
Spinning, spinning, spinning,
Man's deeds the woof,
Ever and ever the shuttle he throws.
—Harper's Weekly.
fgrnmrnmrnmuq
IS "Smiler" Hart's Watch
as
I*B Ev Pliil. More. t'JX
JOHN HART, or "Smiler," as the
the men called him, for his
mirth-loving nature, stood In
the doorway of the engine-room
lounging easily against the frame set
in the heavy brick walls and surveying
the scene about the iron mine.
It was a maze of tracks, ore trestles,
coal sheds, slag dumps and ash dumps.
Acres of stacked pig Iron filled one cor
ner of the scene, with a Bessemer steel
plant spouting flame and smoke to the
right and a billet nnd Iron mill nearer
on the left. Filling the greater part
of the foreground were huge furnaces,
with stacks carrying off the heat in
long trailing blue clouds.
Rehind Smiler were three vertical
blowing engines, which ran continu
ously all the year to make the blast.
They "chugged" and jarred, nnd gave
long, wailing gasps and shrieks for
air. They were gigantic, old-fash
ioned walking beam engines, with the
steam cylinder at one end of the beam,
and the air cylinder on the other, each
vertical nnd twelve feet in length.
Smiler, a mere boy In appearance—
he was little more than five feet tail
knew every part of the engines, from
the thirty foot fly wheel to the smallest
lover on the poppet valve gear. Amid
the noise he could Infallibly detect any
thing gone wrong by the unaccustomed
sounds.
As Smiler stood resting Ills eyes from
watching the dizzying, revolving
spokes, a piece of coal struck the
ground In front of him. lie stepped
to the edge of the doorwny and saw a
man standing on one of the conl tres.
ties and gesticulating. When he had
caught Smiler's attention he held up
one finger, which, nmid the din and up
roar, signified "What timo Is it?"
Smiler gravely took out his watch,
looked at it, put it back into its jioek
et and then signaled back, "Half past
three." Tills reminded him that it was
time to oil up, and he re-entered the
engine room. Every inlet valve was
"iSf-f-Ing" for air, and the air was
wailing through the outlet valve 011
Its way to the leader pipe.
Smiler, taking an oil ean, began the
rounds, when an unsual nolso caught
his attention. There was a snap—then
a crash. At the crash he sprang for
ward to the throttle valve on Xo. 1 en
gine, and before she had turned over
to make another complete stroke he
had stopped her.
He thought he know what had hap
pened, and before Investigating he put
the other two engines to their maxi
mum speed that the air pressure might
bo maintained if possible. To keep the
air pressure or blast steadily on the
furnaces was the most Important work
the engines had to ilo.
Smiler then seized a lamp and a
wrench and ran through the arch into
the compressor room, where the three
air cylinders stool In a row fifteen foot
apart. Then he looked down at the cy
linder attached to the motionless en
gine.
It was as he had supposed. The yoke
holding tlie manhole plate and gasket
In position had broken, and the whole
arrangement had dropped Into the cy
linder. Smiler sprang to the walking
beam, slid down the connecting rod
to the cylinder head, standing there a
moment 011 the Immense casting, which
was five feet in diameter.
Without a thought of danger he
squatted down, stuck his feet through
the small oblong opening and wriggled
through to his shoulders. Holding up
his arms, with the wrench and lamp in
his hands, he reached out with his toes
Rnd touched the air piston.. The en
gine being at less than mid-stroke this
was a third of the way up in the cylln
3er.
Drawing his arms through ho
crouched down and so gained the in
terior of (he cylinder. It was like an
Han. The gleaming, polished walls
reflected his light. 110 could not touch
any part; it was all too hot, and ho
moved his lamp around over the top
pf the piston, looking for the broken
yoke and plate.
A moment after Smiler had dropped
•tit of sight. Dcnnlson, the boss fur
naeeman, entered the engine room ex
citedly. He had missed the familiar
heat of one machine, and feared a di
minution of the blast.
"Suillerl" be shouted, looking round.
"O Smller! Smller!" Then he went to
the throttle valve and took up the start
ing har.
Meanwhile Smller gathered up the
broken yoke and reached up to lay It
on top of the head, shoving his hand
through the narrow opening. The
plate was a heavier piece, and he
shouldered It first. It was a severe
strain In the close, hot cylinder to push
It up through at arm's length. As he
laid It beside the broken yoke he felt
the piston beneath his feet move.
For an Instant his heart stopped
beating.
The piston went down slowly, with
a hesitating motion. It would go down
about four feot more, if the engine had
been started, aud then rush up twelve
feet and flatten him against the iron
head! This he realized. But when the
piston had moved down two feet it
stopped. The manhole by which he
had entered was now almost five feet
above his head. He gave a hoarse cry
of terror, but it only reverberated In
his ears. Above the jar, pound and
seroam of the other engines he could
hardly hope to make himself heard.
lie felt the jerk of the engine on the
piston beneath his feet as Dennison
tried to start it. Luckily the furnace
man was not an adept at this work.
Who could be meddling with the en
gine? Smiler wondered. Hoping to
attract the man's attention he threw
the wrench out of the manhole. It
disappeared. The piston continued
to descend. Smiler, in an agony of ap
prehension, cast me lamp after the
wrench.
Meanwhile the polished hot walls ra
diated heat and the piston burned his
feet. If ho could only jump and catch
the manhole! But hi the narrow space
he was unable to spring more than a
few inches. Taking off his juniper he
tried to throw it through, but it fell
back on him.
The piston was jarring harder. Smi
ler knew that the bungler was making
desperate efforts to start the engine,
and had opened the valve wider.
Then Smller threw his keys, his
knife and his hat through the hole. At
last out flew his beloved watch. It
sailed in a high curve and disappeared.
Outside something fell on the stone
floor near Dennison and broke with a
crash. He looked down. A watch!
Smiler's wateh! Dennison looked
round for thfe young fellow, nnd saw
the other things—Smiler's keys, knife,
lamp, hat nnd wrench. But where was
Smiler? Dennison, deciding that some
thing was wrong, shut off the steam.
Then, running up the steps which
Smiler had ascended but a few min
utes before lie loolcod and called for
the young engineer. Seeing the open
mnnhole ho went to the top of the
head.
"Smiler!" ho called, bending over the
hollow, echoing cylinder.
"Yes, I'm in here!" Srnilor answered.
Dennison lying out at full length on
the head roaehed down his hand and
Smiler grasped it As Dennison slow
ly rose to his knees with his burden
Smller ascended inside until ho was
able to grasp the edge of the head, and
with the furnaceman's assistance ho
emerged, streaming with perspiration,
and so weak with fright that lie could
hardly stand.
"Close call, young fellow!" Dennison
observed, grimly,
"Close enough," Smiler returned,
"nelp me get this manhole head in po
sition so I can start up. If you had
known how you'd have had me flat
tened out long ago."—Youth's Compan
ion.
Modest FooSk
Lawyers do not usually get the small
end of a bargain with their clients, but
the Green Bag recalls two incidents
were the clients had rather the host
cf It.
Sir Walter Scott's first client was a
burglar. He got the fellow off, but
the man declared lie hadn't a penny to
give him for his services. Two bits
of useful Information ho offered,
however, mid with these the young
lawyer had to be content. The first
was that a yelping terrier inside tho
house was a better protection against
thieves than 11 big dog outside; and the
second, that no sort of lock bothered
his craft so much us an old, rustr
one.
Small compensation as this was, the
first brief of tile noted French lawyer.
Monsieur Rouher, yielded still less.
The peasant for whom Monsieur ltou
her won the case asked how much ha
owed him.
"Oh, say two francs," said the modest
young advocate.
"Two francs!" exclaimed the peasant.
"That Is very high. "Won't you let me
off with a franc and a half?"
"No," said tlie counsel; "two francs
or nothing."
"Well, then." said his client, "I'd
rather pay nothing."
And with a bow he left.
Lump Buys of Loudon*
Owing to the new acetylene lamps,
which appear to-day for the first time
on 12<X) omnibuses, says the Westmins
ter Gazette, a certain group of street
characters familiar to Londoners are
lost from view. There are the agilo
lamp boys posted at various points
along tlie principal routes over which
I the omnibuses run. Their chief duty
consisted in clambering swiftly up the
'bus und dexterously removing, some
times while the vehicle was In motion,
the old oil lamp, which is to be hap
pily seen no more in our midst. The
new acetylene lamp will require no
attention en route, aud for the conduc
tor to light up it will only be necessary
for him to turn a small tap. Before
the 'bus leaves tlie company's yards
in the morning, an official places a
cake of carbide of calcium In a small
slot beneath the lamp, aud beyond
filling a small tank with water nothing
else'ls required to provide tlie power
ful new 111 Inn I qflril
CROWNING GEORGE 111
A DESCRIPTION OF HIS CORONATION
AS SEEN BY A GENTLEMAN.
Picturesque Incidents of Mi© Ceremony—
The Anointing of tlie King—Gorgeous
Banquet— King Kdward'H Coronation
Will It© a Himllar Function.
"As the friendship of Mr. Rolles, who
had procured me a pass-tleket, as they
call it, enabled me to be present both
in the hail and the abbey, and as I had
a fine view of the procession out of
doors from a one-pair-"of-stnirs-room,
which your neighbor. Sir Edward, had
hired at the small price of 100 guin
eas, on purpose to oblige bis acquaint
ance, I will endeavor to give you as
minute an account as I can of all the
particulars omitted in the public
papers."
So wrote Mr. James Homing to a
friend in the country ages ago. His
letter is dated Tuesday, September 22,
1781, the day on wbieli George 111. was
solemnly' crowned. Mr. Homing faith
fully guarding his precious pass-ticket
which gave him the right to rove
where he chose, was afoot overnight.
The fronts of the houses in all the
streets that could command the least
point of view were lined with scaffold
ing, like so many galleries or boxes,
raised one above another to the very
roofs. These were covered with car
pets and cloths of different colors, and
filled quite early in tlie day with richly
dressed spectators, the mob underneath
making "a pretty contrast" to the rest
of the company.
Of course, there were plenty of foot
soldiers on tlie ground. Mr. Ileming
relates how surprised he was to see
tlie officers familiarly conversing nnd
walking arm la arm with many of the
privates. This surprise lasted until
"we were let into the secret that fliey
were gentlemen, who had put on the
dresses of common soldiers, for what
purpose I need not mention."
Mr. Homing lias a tender heart. "It
gnvo me pain," he confesses, "to see
tho soldiers, both horse and foot,
obliged most unmercifully to belabor
the heads of the mob with their broad
swords, bayonets aud muskets, but it
was not unpleasant to observe several
tlppfug the liorse soldiers slyly from
time to time (some with halfpence nnd
some with silver, as they could mus
ter np the cash) to lot them pass be
tween the horses to get near tlie plat
form, after which these unconsciona
ble gentry drove them baek again."
Still he himself is not above having
recourse to "the irresistible argument
of half a crown." One of tlie guards
accordingly pilots him to the hall gate,
where he got admittance just as their
Majesties were seated at tlie upper
end under magnificent canopies.
The procession began to quit West
minster Hall between 11 and 12. He
seems a veritable "familiar" does this
Mr. Homing in his power to dart hith
er and thither. Being willing to see
tho royal procession pass along the
platform through the streets from
Westminster Ilall to the west door of
the abbey, he hastens from the hall,
nnd "by the assistance of a soldier,"
gets hack to ills former station at the.
comer of Bridge street, where the win
dows commanded a double view at the
turning.
He has not, however, the words to
express "that lunate joy and satisfac
tion which the spectators folt and ex
pressed, especially as their Majesties
passed by; on whose countenances a
dignity suito.d to their station, tem
pered with the most amiable compla
cency, was sensibly impressed." The
young sovereign bad only boon mar
ried to the good Queen Caroline in the
previous July. It was noticed that as
Majesties and the nobility passed
the corner which commanded a pros
pect of Westminster Bridge they
stopped short and turned hack to look
at the people, whose nppearnnce, as
they all had their huts off, nnd were
thickly planted on thq ground, which
rose gradually, Mr. Heming compares
to nothing hut a pavement of heads
nnd faces.
Mr. Hemjng next turns up in the
Abbey, but it is not to lte wondered at
that he did not get titers in time to
have so distinct a view as ho could
have wished. Still lie saw a good deal,
and "our friend Harry Wliltaker hnd
the luck to bo stationed in the first
row of the gallery behind the scats al
lotted for the nobility." Harry Whit
akor consequently supplements tho
narrative at tills interesting point.
The eoronafion sermon lasted only
fifteen minutes. The king was anoint
ed on the crown of his bead, his breast
and the palms of Ills hands. At the
very instant the crown was placed on
the king's head a fellow having
been placed on the top of tlie abbey
dome, whence he could look down into
the chancel, with a flag which he
dropped as a signal, tho park aud Tow
er guns began to fire, the trumpets
sounded, and the Abbey echoed with
the repeated shouts and acclamations
of tho people, which, on account of
the awful silence that had hitherto
reigned, hnd a very striking effect.
The reverent attention avhich both
their Majesties paid when (after mak
ing their second oblations) the next
ceremony was their receiving the holy
communion, brought to the mind of
every one near tliem a proper recollec
tion of the consecrated place in which
they were.
Alas! that there.should have been a
reverse to tills benignant picture. Ac
cording "to what Harry observed,"
there were such long pauses between
some of the ceremonies in the Abbey
ns plainly showed all the actors were
not perfect in their parts. Much cha
grin nnd disappointment was occa
sioned to the spectators by tlie late re
turn of the procession. In the open air
the crowd had but a very dim and
gloomy view of it, while to those who
had sat patiently in Westminster Hall,
waiting its return for BIX hours (Mr.
neming pretends that he was one of
these patient creatures) scarce a
glimpse of it appeared, as the branches
were not lighted till just upon His Ma
jesty's entrance. "The whole was con
fusion, irregularity and disorder."
Mr. Hemlng's description of the coro
nation banquet in Westminster Hall
merits the epithet "gorgeous." Their
Majesties' table was served with three
courses, at the flrst of which Earl Tal
bot, as steward of His Majesty's house
hold, rode up from the hall gate to
the steps lending to where their Majes
ties sat, and on his returning the spec
tators were presented with an unex
pected sight in his lordship's backing
his horse that he might keep his face
still toward the king. A loud clapping
and huzzaing consequently ensued.
After that the king's champion, Mr.
Dymoke, came clattering up the hall
mounted on a fine white horse, "the
same his late Majesty rode at the bat
tle of Dettingen," and completely
armed, in one of Ills Majesty's best
suits of white armor.
It only remains to add that "our
friend Harry," whom we have met
before, "got brimful of His Majesty's
claret," and in the universal plunder
brought off the glass Her Majesty
drunk in, which is placed in the bcau
fet as a valuable curiosity." What
an acquisition "our friend Harry"
would be to any coronation party next
June!— London Daily Mail.
Hlit Own Executioner.
Many instances have been cited in
proof of the argument that it pays to
be polite, but few are more striking
than the experience of an Italian tel
egrapher at the hands of Calimberti,
the Minister of I'osts and Telegraphs,
as reported in a letter from Home.
The Minister was at Genoa, and
desiring to send a dispatch of great
Importance, he Went to the telegraph
office and approached the wicket.
No one was there. He knocked—
profound silence. He repeated his
efforts, and only after a third trial
a clerk appeared, who addressed him in
language that was anything but com
plimentary. He had evidently been
awakened from his afternoon nap.
The Minister listened to his grum
bling, and then said pleasantly:
"Excuse me, but what may youi
name be?"
"X. X."
"Are you a clerk or telegrapher?"
"Telegrapher."
Calimberti wrote out a telegraphic
message and said:
"Will you be so kind as to send this
for me?"
The telegram read: "Ministry of
Posts, Rome: The telegrapher, X. X v
is transferred to Sicily.—Calimberti."
As Sicily is tlie hospital for all pub
lic functionaries who are in disgrace
or in the way, and as one seldom es
capes from it, the clerk's feelings may
bo easily imagined.
Honw Cleaning by Air.
the first stationary compressed air
cleaning apparatus to be placed In a
hotel in the United States, if not in
the world, was put in operation in
Milwaukee recently. The compressor
Is located in the Iwsement, and from
it pipes lead to every floor of the
building, with places thereon for at
taching the hose, and hereafter the
carpets and furniture and draperies
of the hotel will be kept cleaji and
sweet by means of this new device.
It is an automatic piece of mechan
ism, and when In use the air pressure
Is kept at eighty pounds to the. square
inch. It is operated by electricity,
and when the limit of pressure is
reached the electrical current is cut
off; but as soon as started up the con
nection is renewed and the pressure
maintained. By this means the air
current is sent through the carpets,
furniture ami bedding, cleaning cut
all dirt and rendering them sweet and
clean.—-Milwaukee Sentinel.
Out of Sight.
"Yes, I have a pretty big mouth, for
a fact," admitted the candid map,
"but I have learned to keep it shut,
and that counts for something when
you take your lovels. I received a
lesson when I was a small boy that I
have never forgotten. I was born and
brought up on a farm, and I had the
country boy luibit of going around
wltli my mouth wide open, especially
if there was anything unusual going
on. One day an uncle, whom I had
not seen for years, paid us a visit.
" 'Hullo, uncle,' said I, looking up
at him with my mouth opened like a
barn door.
"Mo looked at mo for a moment
without answering, and theu said:
" 'Close your mouth, sonny, so I
can see who you are.'
"I took the lesson to my heart and
resolved that from that day I would
not allow my mouth to conceal my
Identity."—Detroit Free Press.
Coldest Spot on Earth.
The coldest spot on earth where bu
man beings exist is a little town in
the valley of the Lena, in Siberia,
called Werehajansk. Hundreds of peo
ple In that region have lived to a ripe
old age, and yet the thermometer in
that town has been kuown to descend
to the cavernous figure of 1)8.4 degrees
below zero. The average temperature
in Werehajansk during the winter
months Is 74.S degrees below zero. The
Werehajansk soil Is frozen permanent
ly to a depth of 380 feet, and yet, dur
ing the month of July the temperature
of Wechnjansk Is on the average six
ty-nine degrees above zero, the same as
that of Purls.
Insect Carrie. . ]>nat Brush.
A neat little brush I 3 attached to
the tall of the glow worm, and it is
used to keep clean that part of the In
sect from which the light gleams, so
as to make It more distinctly visible.
The Crow's Excuse.
"Do stop your complaining," said owl.
"In croaking I beg that you pause.
"Your pardon 1 beg," said the crow;
"I never complain without caws."
—New York Herald.
A Failure.
Willie—"Ma, Johnnie swallowed the
whistle that was in baby's doll, and
now it won't work."—New York Jour
nal.
Grandfather's.
"Do all old people have rheumatism,
grandpa?"
"No, dear; rheumatism has all old
people."—lndianapolis News.
Mutually Attractive.
She (to herself) —"I like him, he's so
Intellectual."
He (to himself)—"l like her; she is
a charming little fool."—New York
Weekly.
Exempt.
"There's one tiling about Mrs. Po
Sneere, sbe never slanders ber
friends."
"No, she hasn't any."—San Francisco
Bulletin.
Tliolr Supply of Family Java.
Mrs. Muggins—"Have the Backbites
much bric-a-brac?"
Mrs. Buggins—"l understand they
have a good many family jars."—Phil
adelphia Record.
Not "Worth Mentioning.
Acquaintance (at Monte Carlo)—
"What luck did you have yesterday?"
American Croesus—"Oil, I won a
hundred thousand or lost a hundred
thousand—l've forgotten which."—Chi
cago Tribune.
Distinctly Original.
Clara—"But were the places de
scribed in Tom's book at all like the
real places, and did the men and wom
en act and talk like real women?"
Edith—"Mercy, no. The hook is dis
tinctly original. That is the charm of
It, you know."—Boston Transcript.
Experience That Fails.
"A burned child dreads the fire, you
know. Colonel," said the fair and
sprightly grass widow.
"Yes," the old warrior answered,
"but I notice that most people who
get divorces want to rush right off and
marry somebody else."—Chicago Itec
ord-Herald.
Worn tlio lllue.
The great writer of military songs
was looking for inspiration.
"And did you say that six of your
sons wore the blue?" he interrogated,
as he halted at the door of a shanty.
"Were they cavalry or infantry?"
"Nayther, sor," responded the proud
mother. "They wor polacemin."—Chi
cago News.
Startling Presumption.
The dentist had occupied about two
hours In tilling a cavity in the trust
magnate's front tooth.
"What Is the bill?" asked the mag
nate after the job was over.
"Twenty dollars."
"Great Croesus! Are you trying to
see If you can make as much money in
two hours as I do?" Chicago Tribune.
Composite.
Dashaway—"Qullldrlver seems to be
a fellow of extremes—one who writes
awful slush and sublime prose, and
who Is at the same time au idiot and
a genius?"
Cleverton—"Where did you get such
an Idea?"
Dashaway—"l've Just been reading
the reviews of his latest book.'"—Har
per's Bazar.
Knowledge. "*
Once upon a time there lived n man
who had no thirst for knowledge.
When his friends met him and asked:
"Do you want to know what will
knock that cold?"
The man replied:
"Oh. no!"
Of course, this speedily lost him all
his friends, and his state at last was
pitiful. Indeed.—Puck.
Repudiates It.
Tnllor—"See here, this bill has been
standing since 1893."
Graphtor—"My dear sir, don't you
know that anatomists say man changes
entirely every seven years?"
Tailor—"What has that got to do
with itr
Graphter—"Well, don't you see I'm
at the same person who contracted
t. at bill?" Catholic Standard and tfl
1 hues.
Johnny's Proverb.
"Now, Johnny, say your proverb,"
sweetly asked the schoolmistress.
"Please ma'am, I forget," lisped
Johnny.
"I will refresh your memory: 'Peo
ple who live In glass houses ' Now,
finish It."
"People who live In glass houses
must pull down the blinds."
Johuuy took the first prize.—lllus
trated Bits.
Ills Status.
"It is a misrepresentation," said Sen
ator Sorghum, "to say that I cure for
nothing but money."
"But "
"I know what you are about to ob
serve. I have made Its accumulation
more or less of a study. But so long
as the other people set such a store
by it. It behooves a man who is ambi
tious to get his hands on as much of It
ns possible, so that he can trade It off j
for votes, and thereby reach a position
where he can give his country the
benefit of bis genius."—Washington
Star. J