Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, March 31, 1902, Image 2

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    FREELRND TRIBHKE
ESTABLISHED I BSB
PUBLISHED EVERY
MONDAY, WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY,
BY THE
TRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY, Limited
OFFICE; MAIN STREET ABOVF CENTRE.
LOMO DISTANCE TK^EPIIJNB.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
FREELAND.— rhoTniBUNB isdolivered bj
carriers to subscribers in Freolandattho rat*
of 12K oenth per month, payable every tw*
mouths, or $1 50 % year, payable in advance
The TRIBUNE may lie ordered direct form th
carriers or from tho office. Complaints of
Irregular or tardy delivery service will re.
oeive prompt attention.
BY MAIL —Tho TRIBUNE is sent to out-of.
town subscribers for $1.60 a year, payable in
advance; pro rata terms for shorter periods.
The date when the subscription expires Is on
tho address label of each paper. Prompt ne
newals must be made at the expiration, other,
vise the subscription will be discontinued.
Entered at the Postofflce at Froaland.
as Second-Clasp Matter.
Make all money orders , checks, eto. } pny<ibU
to the Tribune J'rinling Company , Limited.
On Pitc&irn Island in the South Pa
cific ocean rnaii is delivered only once
a year. That must be a pleasant place
for the man whose bills come by the
post.
Every country is disposed to put the
construction on the Monroe doctrine
that suits its interests. It should be
remembered, however, that no inter
pretation is valid unu* it receives the
indorsement of the United States.
The swamping of the submarine boat
Fulton at her wharl' in New York City
does not necessarily reflect upon her
qualities as a diver. She went under
because a workman negligently lett a
hatch open while her stern was being
hoisted out of water for repairs. Nat
urally the water entered the hole and
the craft foundered. The carelessuess
of an individual has spoiled many an
elaborate scheme before now. One
man's inattention to orders brought
two trains into a head-on collision the
other day in Michigan, and caused the
death of many people. Yet the rail
road is not to be condemned as a
worthless institution. Tho Royal
George was lost because somebody
blundered, and yet she was the finest
vessel of her type afloat at the time.
When some ingenious fellow invents a
device which will be proof against
human carelessness or error, he will
have scored the greatest of all suc
cesses.
The Proof.
Then the defiant, militant spirit
took possession of the devoted mis
sionary.
"You think I'm a pudding!" he
cried. "I'll show you I am not!"
"The proof of the pudding is in the
eating!" rejoined the savage darkly.—
Detroit Free Press.
NEWSY GLEANINGS.
In China the year begins in Febru
ary.
A crusade against adulterated milk
has been started in Paris, France.
A half million of Eastern capital is
to be invested iu Oregon timber lands.
Since last September the savings
deposits of Michigan have increased
$1,470,000.
The People's Party in Idaho lias
voted not to disband in favor of the
Democrats.
Workmen have uncart hod $.llOO in ;
S2O gold pieces in a coal 'slied at Jef
fersonvillc, I ml.
Pittsburg is now building much of
the machinery which is to electrify !
London tram lines*
Efforts are being made to form a
consolidation of Illinois and Indiana
bituminous coal companies with a
rnpital of $100,000,000.
Legislative action will be sought by
citizens of Beaver Falls, Penn., to
suppress the practice, common among
the women of the place, of playing
cards for prizes.
The French cruisers, built ten years
ago at Bordeaux, having proved ut
terly unseawortliy, the naval author
ities have now decided to repair and
modernize them.
The Legislature of Kentucky is con
sideling preliminary legislation look
ing to the erection of a new State
Capitol at Frankfort at an estimated
cost of $1,000,000.
An Ohio town, Bucyrus, having is
sued $50,000 of bonds to buy a fac
tory, and then meeting a check in the
form of an injunction sued out by
loeal parties in interest, has confessed
bankruptcy und applied for a receiver.
Phosphate rock mined in South
Carolina in 1001 amounted to S2,GS(S
tons, as compared with 119,208 tons
in 3000. The State, however, got
$29,108 in royalties on the shipments,
a decrease of but $1829 from the pre
vious year.
Life-Saving Police Dogs in Paris.
For some time past a section of the
Paris police, known as "agents plon
geurs," has done valiant service is
rescueing drowning persons from the
Seine. They have been reinforced
lately by two Newfoundland dogs,
bought for S2OO, which have been
trained to pull people out of the water.
They understand their humanitarian
business thoroughly and wear collars
with the inscription. "Perfecture of
Police, River Brigade.'
| AT ELECTION TIME f
By EDGAR WELTON COOLEY
(Copyright, 3901, by Daily Story Pub, Co.)
It wasn't a very pretentious build
ing—Just a meat, white cottage that
stood on a small elevation at the bend
of the road. In the rear, an orchard
stretched down to the creek, the trees
fragrant with the apples waiting to
be gathered. To the south, a corn--
field reached as far as the cross-roads,
the yellew 1 caves rustling in the even
ing breeze, and on the north, a strip
of green pasture land met a wider
strip of yellow stubble.
The door behind him stood open,
and the light from within fell softly
upon the man's silver locks.
A girl came and stood in the door
way, her trim figure, like a silhouette,
against the glare of the lamp. The
man turned his head and saw her.
Slowly he took his pipe from his
mouth.
"You haven't heard from town, have
you, Gene?" he asked.
"No, pa," she answei'ed, softly.
"I'd kinder like to know how the
election come out," he resumed after
a pause. ".They ought to have the
returns in by this time. Don't you
think so, Gene?"
The girl did not reply, but stood
gazing silently down the road that
stretched away through the dusk
towards the town.
"Pa," said the girl, timidly, "Wilbur
asked me to marry him, last night,
and —and—Can I, pa?"
"No!" he growled. "No, he can't
marry no daughter of mine! Why,
he's a Republican, Gene—a d—d, ras
cally Republican!"
"Why, pa!" cried the girl, staring
at him with wide open eyes, "why,
pa!"
"And more than that," resumed the
man, angrily, he's a candidate for
township trustee—a candidate on the
Republican ticket."
Tho girl walked softly to his side,
and placed her arms around his neck.
"But I love him, pa." she said; "I
love him with all my heart, and —and
—I want to marry him, pa; I want to
marry him."
"There, there, Gene," he said ten
derly, "I'll think it over, my child;
I'll think it over."
Both lapsed into silence and listened
to the chirping of the crickets in the
grass and the baying of a hound down
by tho creek. And after awhile the
old man said:
"I wish I knew how the election
came out; I wish I knew."
Tho girl arose. "I'll walk over to
Chadmore's, pa," she said. "Perhaps
they have heard something."
Sho went into the house and came
out, presently, with a shawl over her
head.
"I'll be right back, pa," she said.
The man made no reply until she
had reached the gate. Then he shouted
after her:
"If Chadmore's hasn't heard nothin'
you might go over to Dickenson's,
Gene. I'd kinder like to know how
badly we licked 'em."
Then he relit his pipe and sat quite
still gazing after the girl until she
was lost to view in the darkness. For
a long time he smoked in silence, gaz
ing at the stars that shown above the
trees across the road. And after a
while he leaned forward and, resting
his arms on his knees, looked absently
down at bis feet.
"Gad!" he murmured, "the daughter
of old Jim Billings in love with a Re
publican—with a Republican candi
date! Gad!"
He rose and paced the porch im
patiently, stopping frequently to gaze
anxiously up the road. But the girl
did not return. He filled his pipe and
hobbled out into the road, watching,
listening. The dampness made his
bones ache and he puffed vigorously
it his pipe as though to gather
.varmth therefrom.
"I'd kinder like to know how the
"No," he growled,
election went," he murmured. "I'd
like to know."
Then bo retraced his steps and sat
down again on the porch.
"She loves a Republican!" he said
to himself. "Old Jim Billing's daugh
ter loves a rascally Republican!"
He paused to listen. The sound of
voices came to him through the dark
ness. The voices were low and pleas
ant but, although he strained his ears,
he could not understand a word. Pres
ently they ceased altogether and a mo
ment later he saw Gene coming
through the darkness alone.
She turned in at the gate and came
slowly up the walk and stood silently
before him as though reluctant to
speak.
"Well, Gene," he said finally, "how
bad did We beat 'em?"
Sne looked into his face, nervously
clasping and unclasping her hands.
"Pa," she said, softly, "the Repub
lican ticket was elected."
Sl:e expected an outburst of anger,
but the man remained silent and rigid,
as though suddenly turned to stone.
Then his head dropped suddenly and
his hand, hp]ding his pipe, shook as
though lie had the palsy. Presently he
raised his face and she saw the star
light glisten on a tear in his eye.
He looked at her helplessly, and she
knelt beside him and put her arms
around his neck and kissed him.
"I'm so sorry, papa, dear," she said.
He glanced inquiringly into her face.
"Timber Creek went Republican."
"Are you sorry. Gene," he asked;
"are you sorry that—that —he was
elected?"
"Yes, you dear old pa," she ans
wered, "of course I'm sorry, if it gives
you pain."
He reached up and rested his thin
hand upon one of hers. And then he
asked:
"Who was that with you, C.eno?"
"It was Wilbur," she stammered.
"Why did he turn back; why did he
not come as far as the gate?"
"iJecause—because—" she hesitated.
"Because' he thought you would he dis
appointed about—about.the election,
tnat —that—you would not want to see
him —Just now."
Again the man lapsed into silence,
and the girl arose and walked into the
house. An hour later she again came
to the door and glanced out. The man
was still silting upon the porch, gaz
ing down at his feet.
"It is getting late, pa." she said.
As one suddenly awakened from a
dream, the man started, then arose un
steadily and leaned against the post.
"Gene," he said, "I'm goln' to sell
out and move away from Timber
Creek. I can't live under no rascally
Republican officers, Gene; I jest can't
do it!"
The evidence of a sleepless night
shown plainly on the old man's face
the following morning, and in his eyes
the dull light of sorrow slumbered.
Bright and early he hitched his team
to a light wagon and drove out into
tho road. At the gate he drew rein
and shouted to the girl, who was
standing on the porch:
"I'm goin' to town, Gene, to see
when they're goin' to hold the fu
neral."
He laughed hoarsely at his joke and
drovo on, Gene watching him until he
was out of sight. To the girl it hardly
seemed he had had time to reach the
county seat before he was back again,
driving slowly into the yard, his head
bowed, his hands lying motionless in
his lap, a look of pain upon his face.
Mechanically he unhitched the team
and put it in the barn, then slowly
he walked to the house, his hands
clasped behind his back, his eyes fixed
upon the ground.
' II was a clean sweep. Gene," he
said, pathetically. "Even Timber
Creel: went Republican, Gene; even
Timber Creek went Republican from
top to bottom."
Ho paused, gazing as one bewildered
at liis daughter.
"Gone," ho continued, "they used to
say that hell would freeze over when
Timber Creek went Republican. I
reckon," he smiled sadly. "I reckon
we'll have a pretty severe winter,
Gene."
He hobbled aimlessly through the
house and out upon the front porch.
Presently he called to her, and the
girl hastened to his side.
"Isn't that Wilbur Jenkins comin'
down tho road, Gene," he asked.
A young man, driving a fine team of
sorrels hitched to a farm wagon, was
approaching them.
"Yes, pa." the woman replied, a flush
mounting to her cheek."
"Tell him to come in here, Gene,"
her father commanded. "1 want to see
him."
The blood left the girl's face and her
limbs trembled, but without a word,
she walked down to the gate. She
spoke a few words to the young man,
and he drew rein and climbed down
from his wagon. Side by side, the
girl's pale face, the man's defiant, they
walked to the porch, where the old
man stood watching them, a queer
look in his eyes.
"Wilbur," said the elder man, pa
thetically, "Timber Creek went Repub
j llcan, Wilbur."
"Yes, sir," replied the other, smil
ing. "I believe so, sir."
"Wilbur," resumed the old map
softly, his voice trembling, his eyes
shining with unshed tears, "I'll givo
up. 'Tnin't no use for me to be ob
stinate, I reekon. I'm gettin' old and
tilings are rhaugln', and since Jim Bil
lings's daughter has fallin' in love
with a Republican office-holder, I
reckon It ain't for me to object to her
marryin' him. Timber Creek's gone
Republican. Wilbur Jenkins, an' I—l
guess that Gene Billings might as well
go Republican, too!"
TOYS OF VARIED DESIGN.
I'arls Shop* Contain Many Novelties Not
Seen Klscwliure.
The world's greatest depot for
Christinas toys is Paris, and in the
shops of that city are found some of
the most remarkable products of man's
ingenuity that can be soen anywhere.
Not only are these toys of interest to
the children, older people take great
delight in Inspecting them.
At each yuletide an exposition of
toys is held in the French metropolis.
The island opposite the tribune of jus
tice Is tile place usually selected. On
one side of the stairway leading to the
toy exposition you are confronted by
a tablet telling that this place was
built by order of "Napoleon 111., em
peror of the French;" on the other by
a tablet commemorating his first visit
to it in company with the empress;
over the door is the old. unfilled yearn
ings of the people, "Libertle, Egalitie.
Fraternltlo," and these playthings and
a number of uniformed gens d'armes
lead appropriately to the room full of
smaller toys which form the real ex
position.
Only toys costing from one to sixty
cents are admitted. Hut between these
values a long range of wonders is dis
played. One sees few toy kitchens, or
doll houses, or carpenter boxes. In
stead are toy toilet sets, with little
mirrors and po.vder puffs, for the em
bryo coquette, soldier suits , a-plenty,
and gens d'arme uniforms, and, above
all, mechanical toys. A butcher who,
being wound up. chops the meat on
the block before him into hamburger
steak, a gens d'arme who holds up his
club as if to stop a line of carriages;
an orange vender, who will walk across
tile floor wheeling her handcart before
her; a "bonne" with long-streamered
cap on her head and a baby in her
arms; the whole population of Paris
in miniature; in short, all of whom
will act in becoming and Parisian
fashion, if you will turn the keys in
their backs.
There is a clever little aquarium
made like a picture of the ocean bed,
with wrecks and seaweed on the sand.
It is framed and hung against the
wall, but the fish in this marine paint
ing are alive and swim about in real
water.
The main interest in the exposition
is not, after all, in the toys, clever as
these are; it is in the fact that such
crowds press to see them—crowds of
"grown-ups," not of children. Hardly
one in ten of those who go is even ac
companied by a child. The other nine
are simply big children, breathlessly
interested in every one of the toys,
gasping with delight over the little
mechanical men, laughing at every
thing, watching open-mouthed the
Santos-Dumont balloons —great chil
dren, some of them evidently men of
place and cultivation, but all equally
"pleased with a rattle, tickled with a
straw"—great children who can ordi
narily he controlled like babies by a
word—there never was so orderly and
tractable a crowd as a French crowd —
but who can yet fly into ungovernable
rages, past all soli'-control or reach of
reason, and make unnecessary revolu
tions.
The Ise of Stamp*.
When a stamp is placed oil a letter
it represents one of sixty made for each
man. woman and child in the United
States. Enough stamps will bo issued
this year to supply each individual in
the United States with at least sixty
stamps each. Distributed among the
population of the entire globe, they
supply each person with postage for
not less than three letters. Placed
side by side in a continuous line the
total issue would girdle the entire
earth three times, forming a variegat
ed ribbon around it nearly three inches
in width. If spread out in the same
manner across the United States, the
stamps would form a paper sidewalk
from New York to San Francisco over
throe feet wide. Pasted into a stamp
collector's book of the conventional
size, the issue for the year would half
fill 1,000,000 volumes, which placed one
upon another would form a solid col
umn over twenty-five miles high. If
it is true, as Edward Everett Hale
says, that the United States postal sys
tem is the greatest of popular educa
tors, these figures will serve to show
the extent of Uncle Sam's present serv
ice as a school teacher.
Kindly Ways of n Kins:.
In Denmark many odd little stories
are told of King Christian and his
kindly ways, above all of the friendly
interest he takes in the doings of his
subjects. Until within quite recent
days, when his strength has begun to
fail him, he used to spend much of his
time in Copenhagen walking about the
streets; and nothing pleased him better
than to stop and have a chat with any
workman he chanced to encounter.
"Whenever any Dane makes his mark
in the world, no matter what his sta
tion in life may be or what his views,
the king always sends for him, at the
first opportunity, that he may know
what he is like and have a talk with
him. Little wonder that he under
■ stands his people or that they under
> stand him!
MUCH THINKING.
If T tho't she tho't the tho't I think,
I wouldn't be so fearful;
Dut to think my tho't she may not think*
Makes me most mighty keerful.
I never tho't I'd think the tlio'b
I think I'm ever thinking:
llut. think and think, and think I must
And wonder what she's thinking.
I think she thinks I think I love her,
And that help* me a little;
She thinks 1 think she thinks she loves
Hut she is non-committal.
j I think I'll think the tho't I've tho't.
Ami then approach her boldly;
If she thinks what I think she tho't,
I She will not treat me coldly.
Oil. I've tho't and tho't ar.d tho't and
tho't
What June thinks of the matter,
Till my heart that once went pitty pat,
Is going pitty patter.
So I must learn the tho'ts Jane thinks,
For think 1 can not longer
Of tho'ts I wonder if she thinks—
My love is growing stronger!
' Oh. I tho't she tho't the tho't I tho't,
And now. u:nh! I know it, oh!
For I told Jane thetho't I tho't.
And Jane said. '1 think ditto."
—W. F. Hovis, in Indianapolis News.
Father—"How is it you never have
any moneyV" iSon—"lt's not my fault.
It's all due to other people."—Philadel
phia Press.
Ned—"Clara saj*s you are a perfect j
gentleman." Fred—"Why, she doesn't i
know me!" Ned—"That's what I told
her."—Smart Set.
This world it is a busy place,
Eacli has his task to do.
And every man's seems easier
Than that which falls to you.
—Washington Star.
She— 1 "I think you're prejudiced
against him!" Her Father-"Oh! I
admit that! I don't see how anybody
could help being prejudiced against
him!"—Puek.
She—"Are you as good a judge of
horses as you are of—wives?" The
Widower—"Well, I can't say I am.
I've only lost one fortune through
horses."—Life.
Lawyer—"When I was a boy, my
highest ambition was to bo a pirate."
Client—"You're in luck. It isn't every
man who can realize the dreams of
ills youth."—Puck.
"Why is it that powder factories
pay such high wages?" "Because the
employes are likely at any moment to
bo blown up ami thrown out of em
ployment."—Now York Sun.
He—"You might as well acknowledge
that from the first you intended to re
ject me." She—"Oh, nonsense! Why,
half the time I didn't know whether
you were going to propose."—Judge.
"There's one of my faults that I'm
free to admit," said the convict who
always managed to break jail.
"What's that?" "I've never lived tip
to my convictions."—Philadelphia Press.
An epigram is always sure to please.
And yet this secret 1 would fuin confess;
A platitude worn baggy at the knees.
May scintillate when garbed in evening
dress!
—Philadelphia Record.
First Guide—"l was out with a dude
sportsman from the city to-day?" Sec
ond Guide—"So? Did you have any
luck?" First Guide-"Sure. Ain't I
home again safe and sound?"— Phil
adelphia Press.
"Now. Julia," said the teacher to a
small kindergarten pupil, "suppose I
divide this apple into four equal
"parts. What would one of the parts
be called?" "A piece of apple," was
the prompt reply.—Chicago News.
"Yes, I've got a little money put
away," said the talkative speculator;
"I've managed to get in on the ground
floor once or twice." "Me, too!" whis
pered the burglar, who sat next to
him in the train; "shake!"— Philade
lphia Press.
Hindu Sword Murriages,
At the last general monthly meeting
of the Anthropological Society of Bom
bay, a paper prepared by Mr. Sarat
Chudner Mitter. of Bernr, Mas read
by Mr. .Tivanji Jamshedji Modi, show
iug bow many different roles a sword
plays in Hindu manners and customs.
There are certain warlike tribes
among whom oaths taken over a sword
are binding—while, taken otherwise,
they are not. A similar sentiment pre
vails among some predatory classes of
Europe, where oaths taken over the
weapons of offence—a dagger, a poiu
ard, a rapier—are considered binding.
The idea with these classes seems to
be that perjury committed after taking
oaths over their weapons recoil, that
they die by the weapon against whieli
they perjure themselves.
In certain parts of India, when
a Hindu Is about to marry a third
wife —which marrying is considered
an ill omen lie marries a tree,
for obviating the ill omen, be
fore he marries the third lady. In
Katliinwnr there is still the custom for
Rajput Princes, who are much married,
to luarry in person only tile first wife,
and to marry other wives by means
of a sword. They send over their
sword to the bride's people; the bride
is married to it with all the required
pomp and splendor, the only difference
being that the Prince's sword becomes
a substitute for him—the bridegroom.
The legality of this marriage to a
sword Is indisputable. The bride mar
ried to it enters the Rajput zenana as
a lawfully married wife.—The Lahore
Tribune.
Recent observations seem to indi
cate that the Incubation period of ma
laria is about eighteen days.
CARE OF INJURED MINERS.
Medical Rooms in Mine* and Instruction
tu Ti. at'nent.
Tlie next annual report of the mine
Inspectors of the anthracite coal dis
tricts is expected to show that scores
of lives have already been saved by
the installation in mines of the nrtHli
oal room, required by a recent act of
the Legislature, which went into efftret
on November 30. All the mines, how
ever, have not yet complied Ayith the
law. Heretofore it has been the cus
tom, when a man was hurt in the
mines, to get him to the surface by
the best means at band. There he
would have to wait for the company
ambulance, some times for hours, and
often men have died from loss of
blood or shock. The mine hospitals
now installed are rooms about ten feet
square, placed in some convenient and
easily reached passage of the mine.
Most of them are furnished with cots
for four persons, although the law only
requires two. There are at hand lin
seed oil, to he used in the numerous
cases of burns, bandages, linen,
woolen, and waterproof blankets,
splints and other handy appliances.
Most of the large companies have en
gaged physicians to show their mine
foremen how to use the appliances, and
schools of instruction in methods of
treating injuries are being established,
with sessions once or twice a week.
As there is an average of more than
one man killed and six injured every
day in the mines of the region, the ap
pliances and foremen's knowledge will
often be tested.
In most instances the mines are sev
eral miles from the nearest hospital,
and the journey of an injured and un
attended man for that distance, over
the rough roads, is sometimes the
cause of frightful suffering. Uilder
the new system a couple of his mates,
will go to the injured man, at the place
of the accident, with a comfortable
stretcher, and he will be carried to the
hospital and there treated and made
comfortable until the ambulance and
the regular pliysiciar. arrives.—Even
ing Post.
WORDS OF WISDOM.
The fool promises more than he can
perform.
One's life toil teaches us 10 prize
life's treasures.
Give neither counsel nor salt until
you are asked for it.
No oue is so blind to his own faults
as a man who has the habit of detect
ing the faults of others.
Friends, though absent, are still pres
ent; though in poverty they are rich;
though weak yet in the enjoyment of
health; and what is still more difficult
to assert, though dead they are alive.
The profit of leisure lies in the com
bination of interest and amusement, of
occupation which does not require too
much thought, and pleasure which
does not demand too much effort, phys
ical or mental.
Multitudes of us are fuming in a
false sense of poverty when close at
home are faithful hearts that, if taken
from us, as they might be next week,
would leave a void that the wealth of
Indies would not fill. We are poor
only by thinking ourselves so. It is,
in fact, our perverse thinking that ev
ery day makes fools of us.
All meu need taskmasters. Fortunate
are they who know how to get the most
out of themselves by acting as their
owe taskmasters. They plan each
day lu advance, and do not toil hap
hazard. Carefully estimating what
they can do. and should do, they hold
themselves rigorously to the tasks they
have fixed, and so avoid the necessity
of having overseers. And they are the
sort who rise to be overseers of
others.
Our Conquest of Foreign Markets.
There is another phase to our con
quest of foreign markets, and that is
its effect upon the other Nations of
the world. If a much larger shure of
the world's manufacturing is tt> be
done in America, it means a lesser
share will be done elsewhere. The pic
ture which some enthusiastic observers
of our foreign trade delight to draw,
of a time when our exports have so
increased and our Imports so dimin
ished, that Ave will not only make ev
erything we want for ourselves, but
a very large part of Avhat the world
wants besides, is a picture which offers
neither a probable forecast nor a de
sirable result. Naturally aa*o cannot
go on selling to the world a great sur
plus of food products and manufac
tured articles without buying from
the world in return. Statistics indicate
that we have for the last two or three
years been sending Europe annually
something like $300,000,000 more than
Ave have been buying. Europe has not
been paying for this in gold. During
the six years in Avhich Ave built up a
surplus foreign trade balance of $2,-
744,000,000, Ave have received from the
rest of the Avorld a net balance in gold
of only .sl32,ooo,ooo.—Frank A. Van
derlip, in Scribner's.
Iu Line With Instructions.
A commercial traveler well-known in
the cycle trade on botli aides of the
Atlantic adds this to the collection of
jokes on newly-made-happy lathers:
The hero is the manufacturer of the
wheel which the narrator sells. Being
compelled to go away on a business
trip about the time an interesting do
mestic event was expected, lie left or
ders for tlie nurse to wire him results
according to the following formula:
If a hoy: "Gentleman's safety ar
rived."
If a girl: "Lady's safety arrived."
The father's slate of mind may be
Imagined when, a few days later, he
received a telegram containing the one
word "Tandem." Rocky Mountain <
News, -4,