fREELHAD TRSBBKE 1 E*TAKLISIIKJ> 18S. PUBLISHED EVERY MONDAY, WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY, , TRIED! E PRIUTiKu IMPACT. LimitCil j OFFICII; MAIN Smr.r.r ABOVE UKNTKB. ! Lotto DISTANCE TELEPHONE. SUHSCKIFTION RATES FUEELAND.—ITIOTUIIUTNE is delivered by carriers to subscribers in Freolnad at the rats l of 1-V4 cents por month, payable every two months, or Jl oC year, payable in advance. | The Tin uuse may ho ordered direct form th, . carriers or from the office. Complaints ot ■ Irregular or tardy delivery service will re. j oeive prompt attention. BY MAIL —The TRIBUNE is sent to out-of- j town subscribers for SI A" a year, payable in ! advance; pro rata terms for shortor periods. The data when the subscription expires is on tlia address label of each paper. Prompt re. new-al- must be madeatthoexpiration, ether. Wise the subscription will be discontinued. Entered at the Postoffica at Freeland. Pa, as Second-Class Matter. Make all money orders, checks, ere. , payable to the Tribune Printing Company, Limited. . - • ; — ~ The population of France, it Is claimed, is increasing somewhat more rauidly than it was 10 years ago. Franco is not a dying nation. The United States is rich enough to have anything it desires, a college of heraldry included. But coats of arms will have to figure in American civili zation as mere matters ot decoration for some time to come. A railroad automobile has been put Into operation 011 one of the French railways. It is a combination of en gine and passenger car. Its total length is SS 1-2 feet. The engine is lo cated in tho middle and has 125 horse power, and the vehicle will carry 80 passengers. Paris leads the world in dressmak ing. It is estimated that there are 7" 000 persons employed in the dress- I making establishments of the cily, and if one includes the workers who de sign and make the materials used by tho dressmakers, about 1,400.000 per sons are engaged in tho struggle to satisfy woman's love of chiffons. Italy is now sending more emigrants to tho United States than any other country; Austro-Hungary next and Russia third. The percentage of tho total number of immigrants from these three countries, in tho order named, it 27.9, 23.2 and 17.4. Germany sent 31.7 percent, in ISB2, but now it sends only 4.4 percent England sent 10.4 percent in ISS2; now it sends only 2.5 percent The general land office has been making a new examination of the pet rified forests of Arizona. Tho silicified logs lie in great abundance within ar. area of eight square miles in Apache county, in some places Ihcy lie more thickly than tlicy could have stood | while living as (reos, and it is thought that they must have been carried there by a swift current of water in the me sozoic age. The growth of United States trade with China is set i'orih at length In a bulletin just issued by the treasury department. From various porls of the empire statements ' eve been ob tained showing decided gains in the receipts of cotton piece goods and oth er material from America. The total value of American merchandise of all classes entering China is now about J2I,CC : i.OOO annually, while the United States imports from the Flowery King dom about $28,000,000 worth. Of the population of the United States 47.1 percent live in incorporated municipalities, of which there are 10,- 602 in the country. Of these, however, 6819 have a population of less than 1000 and are really rural communities. The states differ greatly in their policy with regard to permitting small towns to incorporate. Massachusetts, for ex ample, lias but 33 incorporated towns, while Delaware, with only one-fif teenth of tho population of Massachu setts, has 35. Illinois heads the list with 930 incorporated municipalities. California has 116. We Need the Metric System. Consul Hill reports from Amsterdam that the necessity for United States manufacturers to adopt the mertlc sys tem in foreign trade becomes dally more imperative. A firm in Holland received this week a cable offer from New York for 2,000 barrels of potatoes. As this was a new business, the ques tion at once arose how many pounds were there in a barrel of potatoes- American pounds, too. as the Dutch pound differs from ours. A whole day was lost before the answer could bo wired. Had tho answer been wired in kilograms, every business man in the commercial world from Vladivostock to Mauritius would have understood it instantly. Minnesota is called the "Bread and Butter State." and rightly, too, for last year her mills turned out 26,630,- 600 barrels of Hour and churned over 60,000,000 pounds 0/ butter gHßßßa^a^iß33eßßlßßßßeßi3BiaS^^!taaßtaßWßlffi-'a | THE APOLOGY OF ROBERTS | v*S By Pliilip Verril flighels. * —— HE rain descending on top ot I tlio snow lind made Eoberts I thoroughly wet. Standing in side the mouth ot his tunnel, he lighted a candle, and then gazed out on the dreary scene presented by the gray hills. "It's an elegant Christmas." he grumbled, "and nothing l'or a Christ mas-tree this side of Sugar Loaf Gulch." There was nothing green, certainly, save a single scrub-brush of mountain-tea. "I suppose I've got to go," he added; "the kid don't ask for much, and I reckon he's lonely, poor little man." lie started into the mine. On either side upright timbers supported the roof of the tunnel. Close to these, one after another, the miner held his cau dle, sweeping it slowly down the length of each. Every one was bent inward, a few were splitting, and ominous cracks sounded along the line, as the posts shouldered up the weight of the saturated liill above. Huberts understood the situation. Had the day not been so far advanced he would have gone to work at once to reinforce tile mine against the impending cal amity. As it was,-he cursed his luck and walked rapidly in, to secure an axe with which to cut a tree for his small boy's Christmas. Having se cured the implement, he leaned upon it in contemplation of the end of the tunnel, with its meagre vein of quartz. "If it wasn't for that color of gold," he mused, "I'd let you go to the devil." The crack of the timbers further out made him start, lie shouldered the axe, and returned toward the day light. A chorus of cracking and crunching sounds greeted his approach; ho felt a chill go down his spine. A moment later a loud splitting behind him re verberated down tlie tunnel, followed by a thundering sound and a rush of air. Ilia light went out. Cra.-hir. . of timbers, gritting of roots, and a groaning of wood made 11 terrifying din. The miner ran for his life. The tumbling posts, the down pouring earth, and the splinters of splitting wood pursued him. The tunnel's mouth—a warpiug square—was now in sight. Axe in hand the racing man tore along the thundering liall ul' the fust-lilllug tomb. Another leap, and he would clear the place! The sill of the door tripped and threw him on tho rock floor. He scrambled away on hands and knees. A single hunk of rock crushed at llie heel of liis foot. Hurt and limping, he arose, stepped further along, and faced about. A twisted scar in tho hill marked the place where he had labored so long. Even in the ruin 11 cloiul of dust was slowly floating away. The axe was buried. "Didn't git mo!" said the man, in a peculiar spirit of triumph. "But sure enough, you've gone to the devil!" He found himself surprised that the fur row above the cave was so narrow and shallow. It seemed utterly in adequate to tlie work lie had expend ed in delving. "No Christmas-tree now for the kid," lie remarked. "I guess this mountain-tea will have to do the business." He hacked off tlie stem of tlie brush with his knife, and swinging it on his hack, limped away. The brush, with its candles. Its hits of ribbon which the man bad cher ished, and its odd array of "presents," pleased the seven-year-old child in Roberts' cabin immensely. The little chap was more than commonly lone some, having been inordinately fond of the mother, who had made him her constant companion. Since her death It had been her personal trinkets that gave him the greatest pleasure. This was the reason why tlio present on the tree which delighted him most was a gourd which his mother had employed in darning stockings. "Can I take it with me to aunty's!" he inquired wistfully, holding it tight in his hands. "Why of course you can, If you want; but you know you ain't coming home for a week, and I wouldn't like for you to lose it, little man." On Christmas morning Itoberts car ried the boy as far as the caved-in mine, and started him off on his visit to the camp over the hill. "Don't forget to come hack to Dad on New Year's Eve," he instructed. "Start by four in the evening, sure. You better uot come if it happens to snow—savvy?" And he kissed the lit tle fellow good-by. CHAPTER 11. Late on the last day of the year a miner walked across the dump of Rob erts' mine to another tunuel, which had been locked up and deserted for more than a year. He produced a key which turned the rusted lock, after which he lighted a candle and went slowly in, recalling a score of inci dents of days gone by, and so came at last to the end of the drift. Here he threw down bis roll of blankets and stood inactive for some time, in medi tation. At length be took up a pick from a stack of tools, left as if but the day before, and began to strike at the rock. Stroke after stroke he rained on the face of the wall, stopping now and again to take the candle and throw its radiance in and about the hole lie was forming, the clearer to see the trend of a lead of crumbling quartz, For an hour he worked unceasingly. Presently the steel of tile implement crashed through the shell of a sofler substance aud all but disappeared. He drKhifshihihAlHrKiHiHSt-W 1 littered a note of surprise, and throw ing his weight on the handle of the tool, pried as with a lever. Suddenly a chunk of porphyry bulged forth, the pick burst out, and a gleaming cascade of gold came pour ing from the orifice. "Yowl" cried the miner in unre straiuable delight, and, falling on his knees, he gathered up the glinting metal in both his roughened hands. "Oil, no!" he roared, "wasn't it worth coming back to claim the poor old tunnel? Wasn't it worth a new loca tion? Ain't we fixed?" And clutch ing up his pick agaiu, he slashed and tore at the pocket of precious metal in a frenzy. "Oh, say!" lie went on, stopping again to gather up the golden store, "won't we roll 'em now? Hoy! who's there!" He stood up and peered outward, vainly, in tlie blackness of the mine. A patter of feet broke the stillness. Drawing a pistol and feeling bis way, the miner gave pursuit. The sounds diminished and were gone. Ho went on out and looked from the tunnel's mouth. The darkness of night had descend ed. Clouds were massed up hugely; a keen blast was blowing. Here and there a flake of snow shot downward to the earth. "Heh, hell, heh—wow-ow-ow," sound ed weirdly from the brush. "Coyote," said tlie miner. Satisfied as to tlie nature of his visitor, he re placed his pistol 111 his belt and re turned to his treasure. Creeping away from the spot where tlie coyote-liowl had been sounded, a supple figure arose anil glided down the slope. Roberts, in bis cabin, was cooking bis dinner when this figure knocked at his door. "Conic in," lie called. AVitii u grill, tlie man outside entered and closed the door. The light revealed au Indian face and head, on an In dian body; yet tlie fellow's skin was nearly us fair as that of the white man. "Hullo, Slink," said the miner. "The kid won't come to-night, I reckon. I told him to wait if tlie snow came on nothing to you, though," and added sullenly: "what do you want?" "Nutlijii'," said tho Indian, eyeing the food hungrily. "You lie, half-breed," said the other. "Take n bite if you want." The creature jerked a sizzling chop from tlie skillet, tossed it about to cool, and soon was gulping it down. Then he licked his lingers, with a look of greed in his eyes, "Well," said Roberts, knowing his man, "what have you got to say?" "Heap gold," said the Indian abrupt "Gold? Whore?" "Sturgis mine. Heap gold." "Injun, you're a liar. You're up to doing some dirt to Sturgis again, I'll bet. There ain't been a man iii that tunnel for over a year—not since Stur gis left the diggln's, cuss him!" "Sturgis, he's heap there," replied the half-breed. "Slink, he's heap see 'lllll gold." "Did you, sure? He's back then, is he? I reckon ho came to locate the claim over. To-morrow's New Year, and that's his game. I ltnowed he hadn't done his assessment work—any man could luivo jumped that claim to morrow. You said he has struck gold?" "Heap gold; Slink, lie sees 'tun heap," repeated the creature, eyeing Roberts narrowly. "Gold! In that old tunnel, and mine had to cave! I've got as good a right as him to jump her to-niglit and lo cate tlie whole works. He ain't done assessment work by two hundred dol lars!" "Plenty gold," remarked the savage inskluously. "Gold, gold, gold! Well hang me, I'll jump that claim to-night! He ain't got no rights; he ain't stayed hero and worked like me; and lie done me up before. I'll jump her, sure. Here Injun, take the meat. Now you git!" With the meat in his fingers the In dian glided out, his eyes afire with gleams of cunning. He had an old score against Sturgis himself. Iu hiss tunnel Sturgis worked dili gently, breaking out the metal and heaping It up with earessful hands. His candle burned dotvu to a lump of grease and gave up the ghost. The uian groped his way to the outside entrance, where he found half a doz en tallow dips. The hill by this time was covered with snow, which was coming down in a blinding swirl. "Nasty night," he muttered, looking forth on the bleakness of the scene, and was turning back when a feeble cry came clearly on the wind. "Hul lo!" said he. "What's up?" "Pa—pal" came the shrill accents. "Oh, pa—pa, pa—pa!" "Well, I ain't your papa," said the miner, putting up his collar at the back of his neck, "hut X reckon I've got to hunt you up." He closed the door of the claim and plunged away. Utter darkness was prevented by the whiteness of the hill, yet lie could scarcely see a good twen ty feet ahead. lie stumbled north ward, and was thrown several times by covered roots. The cold cut through his clothing keenly. "Hullo!" lie shouted; hut the sound seemed healcn to the earth. Not even an echo made reply. He stamped his feet to drive out tlia cold that crept Insensibly up. "Yellow-sand Ravine," he muttered nt length; "it must have been on the Pinto trail." Hunting till ho found a narrow suggestion of a path through the brush, be traveled for a time westward, up the hill. "Hullo!" he cried again, "ilcy, there, hullo!" This time a smothered moan was borne on the wind. "Across the gulch," he breathed, and descended to the bottom of the wrinkle in the mountain, and up on the further acclivity. Forward and back he plodded, calling repeatedly. At length, nearly ready to give the search over, he stood in the storm to listen. Suddenly, less than three feet away, a hump of snow stirred slightly. Sturgis stooped toward it instantly, pushed off the blanket of ice, and lift ed up a stiffening little form, cold and helpless. "By gracious!" said he, "but this is too bad. The tunnel's the nearest place to go, and maybe I can light a lire." "Divesting himself of his coat, he wrapped it about the child, held him close, and strode away in the path of the storm. Floundering here, slipping there, blocked under foot, confused by the flight of snow, he wandered for an hour, up hill and down. By sheer good fortune he found himself at last by the side of the uump of his claim. His hands were numb and as stiff as wood; lie felt that hardly a spot of warmth was left In his body. As he labored up the side of the dump to the top, lie was confronted by a hunching figure—a man, who, like himself, had just.achieved the scaling of the pile. Instantly the man stopped and drew a pistol. It was Roberts. "Cuss the cold!" he growled. His hands were so stilt he could not cock the revolver. He threw it down in the snow. "Stur gis!" he growled, advancing; "git away from here. Your claim is jumped. You haven't done assessment. The mine belong to me—savvy?—unless you're better than me at a light!" Sturgis staggered a trifle backward, and placed his burden quickly in the snow. "You is it, Roberts?" lie chattered. "Stand away!" lie tried to draw his pistol, but failed. Crouching, the men circled about, their great numb lists awkwardly swinging, like frozen clods. Rushing heavily in, Roberts dealt the younger man a blow iu the face, and they clinched like bears, to struggle on the rocky dump, scuttling the snow with their frozen boots. They broke away and circled again, Sturgis silent, Roberts savagely growl ing: "Blame you, I'll learn you now! Jlary would have made a good moth er to my kid, if it lindn't been for you. She liked mo first." "You lie," answered Slurgis. Roberts's bands were not so stiff as those of his foe; he pawed in the snow a second for the buried revolv er. Sturgis leaped to strike with his leaden list. Weakened and chilled, however, his muscles all but refused to act. Roberts met him, grasped at his throat, and pulled out the pistol dangling from the other's belt. "Rook out for that!" breathed Stur gis, as they surged about, and lurching Roberts backward, he made him avoid trampling on the child. This action gave Roberts an opening. Down came the butt of the pistol, and without a sound the miner sank in the snow. "I told you—l'd do you—up, if ever —you came to—Alder Creek," panted Roberts, "and there—you are." Pocketing the pistol, he moved to ward the tunnel, uud stumbled over u small heap in the snow. "Huh," said he. "Blankets, hey? I reckon I can use them myself." He raised the bundle. It stirred; the coat fell away from the white little face, while a tiny band dropped limply down, clutching a smooth round gourd "Lord! It's my little kid!" cried Roberts. "Hey, little boy—it's Dad. God, you're cold!" he added, crooning ly, "terrible cold," and he held the child wildly and fondly to his breast. "Sturgis!" he cried abruptly, "he fetched you!—fetched my boy—and where was I? He done it, sure —my Lord, but you're cold!" He stumbled toward the mine. "He done it," ho went on moaning. "I'll go and apologize—l will. I'll go and fetch liim in. I didn't know—l couldn't have knowed." Hastening forth, after placing the child on the warmer lloor of the tun nel, l;e shambled forward. Out on the dump the llgurc ol' Sturgis was weak ly attempting to rise. Crouching near, stealthily advancing, a knife held ready for a deadly stab, was Slink, the half-breed, Hearing the wounded min er for a stroke. "Hey!" roared Roberts. Jumping ahead like a maddened hull, ho threw himself on the savage. The knife was batted endways, but the Indian tripped up the white man's feet, and together they rolled over the snow-plated rocks, locked In a deadly embrace. The savage It was now whoso bony lingers searched about the miner's belt aud whipped out the pistol. Ho rose 011 ono knee and swung the weap on backward. Roberts, hot with rage, butted liim a thumping blow with his head, bowling him partially over. The two struggled to their feet to Wrestle and light for the weapon. The Indian, writhing like a snake, eluded the grasp of Ills foe, bent the miner backward with a thrust-out hand, and struck with the heavy revolver. Roberts instantly dropped to a knee, and clutching the leg of the trencher- ou3 Slink, jerked It outward with a vengeful haul. The half-breed's blow failing to land, and swinging him about, helped to fetch him down. He struck on the back of his head in the recks, with a shiver, slowly straightened out—dead. Bleeding and panting, the miner stood for a moment, prepared for further struggle. Then he made liis way to Sturgis, who was sitting in the snow, weakly. "Sturgis," blurted Roberts, "I apolo gize—l do. I didn't—know you bad saved the little—kid. I'd like—to shake your—paw and apologize—which I never done—to any man before. Here, I'll help. You've—got to git in side. The claim's yours all—right enough. I reekou you've—done your whole assessment."—New Illustrated. A FORTUNE IN APPLES. Man Sells His Crop For Forty-six Thou, sand Dollars Cash. State Senator W. P. Sullivan, of Christian County, was in Kansas Cliy yesterday and told of a farmer down there who sold liis apple crop the other day for $40,000 In cash. The farmer's name is Hazlcton, aud lie has 1100 acres of apples. "He did not have to gather the fruit. The buyer was glad enough to buy It on the trees," said the Senator. "Then land down your way is held at a high value?" "Not very. There is some to be bought for $1.25 an acre. But it is too easy to get. What American people want is land where twelve men arc fighting for each available farm, and which will cost them a lot of money to prove up. They do not like to go Into a quiet country aud at their leis ure pick out a place that in a few years will yield SIOO per acre." "Some do as well as that?" "I know several orchards which have sold this year at that rate." "Then they average by failures?" "Never have a failure In the Ozarks, said Senator Sullivan wiih asperity. When a southern Mlssour lan has to own up to being from the Ozarks he always gets mad. It is his version of the travelers who, to kill time, were telling what were their native States. All confessed eagerly but one man, who, when pressed, said: "Now laugh, durn ye; I come from Arkansaw." Ozark people are in the same plight. "All there is against us is our name," pretested Senator Sullivan. "We have some Bald Kuobbers and rnzorbacks down there, hut we know liow to raise apples and peaches and goats. We have the best region In tlie whole of the United States for these things. It makes us tired when we hear of forty bushels of thirty-cent corn to the acre. We go in for SIOO - apples. In ISBI and last year we had a partial failure in some farm products, but they do not include our apples. Why don't emigrants turn out when they get this far and settle in Missouri? Confiscate all the dime novels and yellowbacks and we will live down that ugly name we have." —Kansas City Journal. Some Facts About Halt. The production of salt for domestic use and use in the arts Is now some where near 10,000,000 tons annually, and the consumption always runs close to the production. Furthermore, a perfectly natural demand would call /or a far greater output. Salt is a universal necessity for all living things, and the human consumption is checked by poverty aud taxes. Thus the population of India pays a salt tux amounting to eight millious sterling and the consumption averages only ten pounds per inhabitant. Nor does the deprivation relate to a matter of taste merely. On the contrary, it is seriously reckoned as a prime cause for the debilitated condition of the people. Salt menus so much more than savor that we are told that "(lur ing the Paraguayan war of lStil-70 it was observed that the men who had boon without salt for three months, when wounded, however slightly, died, as their wounds would not heal." Among European nations the con sumption ranges from nineteen pounds per head in the case of .Spain and Portugal to sixty-two pounds per head in the United Kingdom. Making al lowance for the quantity used in the arts, the British consumption is still as high as forty pounds per head. At that rate India would require 4,500,000 more tons annually, and, China would take In a few millions extra also. The consumption of salt in the United States is forty-eight pounds per capita, or second to the United Kingdom, Canada being third. A Dcspcrute Mail. "No, Gladys McGooglc," ho said In his deep and earnest voice, "life with out you would be of little use to mo." "Do you mean that you would take the suicide route to escape it?" the fair girl murmured. "Yes," ■ho answered, "you have guessed it." "Revolver or rope?" "Neither." 'Gas, then, or poison?" Ho shook his auburn locks and smiled at her baffled air. "What, then, would you do?" "Gladys," ha slowly answered, "If you refuse my love I will take no chances of failure. I have determined to let a malarious mosquito bite me." That fetched her.—Cleveland Plain- Dealer. Collection For Foreign Minsionn, It is said that Mr. Evarts was onco going up in the elevator at the State Department with many applicants for ministerships and consulships. "Well," said he to A friend, "this is the larg est collection for foreign missions that has been taken up for a long time."— The \rgonawL Fulfillment. There was a man who worked all uay And sat up late at nijjht, And toiled and planned and scacmcq away . To gain the dizzy hes-it; He longed to have the iv-rhfc to s. irul High o'er the crowd and hear men -ay. As, looking up, they saw him there; "How great he is, how grand. At last, when he was bent, when care And toil had marred his y, ; ;:c, v. lien The mold of time was on his hair. lie stood high up o'er other men And. listening, heard the passe:*.- -n;.' i Enccois. "What Is the key to success?" "The ability to make people pay." "Pay for what they get/" "No; pay for what you tell iheml ' they are getting."—Chicago Post. Getting; On. The flood Man—'"Sao, Willie, you're going to school, arc you? That's nice. And what have yon learned so far?" Willie—"To whistle without pucker ing my mouth." —Chicago itecord-ilcr ald. Her Family. Pbe—"She comes of a grand old family, I believe?" lie—"l'es, very! An ancestor of hers was beheaded in the Tower during the reign of the fourth Edward." She—"How perfectly lovely."—Tit. Bits. No Surface Accomiillslimont. Dorothy—"How would you define al gentleman?" Katharine—"Well, my idea of a gen tleman is a man who looks and nets like a gentleman even when lie isn't dressed like a gentleman."—Chicago P.ecord-lierald. Resenting no Imputation. Dicky—"l ain't got 110 use fur a kid wot's too good to till his pockets wit* apples when a barrel of 'em falls off a wagon an' busts in do street." Billy (with indignationi—"l wuzn't too good. De copper wuz a-watch in* me!"— Chicago Tribune. Differences Promptly Disclosed. "All people," remarked the earnest citizen, "are born equal." "Perhaps," answered the deliberate j friend; "but they don't stay equal any longer than it takes for their parents to provide them with clothes and play things."—Washington Star. Concerning Industry. . "Mike," said Plodding Pete, "did you ' know some people says your brain works till de timcV" "I don't believe it," answered Mean dering Mike. "I'd rather do wit'out sense altogedder dan have such a fool ish brain."—Washington Star. The Right Conditions. Briggs—"They say that if llios were left alone—that is, if all those that are born were allowed to live—there would be nothing else hut flies." Griggs—"That is, supposing the earth were nothing In the solar sys tem but a big railroad restauraut."— Lii'e. Concealment. "You say you are a detective?" "Yes." "But ought you not to conceal thai fact to some degree?" "1 do." "How?" , j "By not detecting anything."—Wash, jf< lngton Star. ' The Motive. "Do you write because of inspira- ' tion?" asked the idealistic young wotn an. "-N'ot usually," answered the eold looking man with ink on his lingers. "As a rule I write because of the ex piration of the time for which the rent has been paid." Significant Philosophy. "I am afraid Bliggius lias met with reverses." "What makes you think so?" "He goes about with a gloomy look, saying there Is no such thing as disin terested friendship. That is almost a sure sign that a man has been trying to borrow money." Two Girls. v "It ten men should ask you to mar- : ' ry thorn, what would that be?" W" "What would It be?" "A tender." "And if one should ask you, what would that be?" "I don't know; what?" "A wonder."—Life. Question F.r Question. "Why do poets wear long hair?" asked the young woman who is anxious to learu. "My dear," auswercd the young woman who believes there is uo such thing as modern literature, "If tliey didn't wear long hair how would we know tlioy are poets?" In tile Future. "Do yea keep an assistant to tlie cook?" "Yes." "And do be the assistant have a helper?" "She lias." i i "And have ycz a kitchen mnlil tot clean up after the assistant's helper?" ; "We have." "Well, I'll give ycz a week's trial." J' < .-Brooklyn Life. J