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If South American revolutions had a
Uttle more powder and shot in them
they would not give such a continuous
performance.
Frenchmen are giving up the terms
"rosbit" and "plum puddin'" in ad
dressing British tourists; bicycles and
automobiles have brought in "caout
chouc" at a substitute.
There has been little of late in royal
and imperial annals to Inspire common
people with envy of the exalted per
sonages born to the purple, and cer
tainly the later life of the Empress
Frederick will cause nobody to long
for a crown.
Some idea of the expansion of the
railway industry of the country may
be gained from the fact that the num
ber of tons of frieght hauled one mila
Increased from 95,328,300,278 in the
year ending June 30, IS9G, to 141,599,-
157,270 in the year ending June 30,
1000.
Last year Americans consumed
2,219,847 tons of sugar, just 141,729
tons more than the year before. Giv
ing to each individual his pro rata
share, this shows that every inhabit
ant of this country gets away with
fully sixty-six aud one-half pounds of
sweets every year.
The conclusion that consumption is
curable, reached by the Tuberculosis
Congress, is of great importance. But
It would he more satisfactory if there
had been greater attention given to
the methods. Prevention of infection
Is important, but if there be a cure
for consumption beyond the first
stages, the world is ignorant of it.
Kaiser William declares that "the
noblest weapon is the sword." Lord
Roberts says that the "sword is ob
solete," and orders that sword drills
shall he discontinued in the British
army. Possibly his lordship does not
class the cavalry saber with the
sword. It's difficult to understand
how a regiment of horse could dis
pense with the saber.
The cornerstone of the Indian school
which the United States Government
proposes to build at Riverside, Cal.,
was laid the other day with appro
priate ceremonies on the site pur
chased for the school, on Magnolia
avenue, one of the famous driveways
of the town. The school will be known
as Sherman Institute, in honor of J. S.
Sherman, of New York, chairman of
the Congressional Committee on In
dian Affairs.
Justice Goodrich, of the New York
Supreme Court, has drawn attention
to the fact that the time is approach
ing when it will be necessary to cut
loose, in a great measure, from pre
cedent and decide law cases upon
their merits after analysis. The Jus
tice says that there are now rendered
In this country more than 20,000 de
cisions in each year by appellate
tribunals, and that there were pub
lished in 1000 420 volumes of reports,
seventy-seven volumes of digests,
ninety-five volumes of statutes and
150 volumes of treatises. No lawyer
can do anything with such a mass of
legal matter, even if he has the money
to buy it; and, since no lawyer can
now hope to keep up with the law as
expounded, courts must necessarily
fall hack on application of recognized
first principles to the case immediately
in hand.
Potatoes have ceasi n to bo tliio
principal root crop of Ireland, if they
are to he compared with turnips by
weight or yield—last year, for exam
ple,only about 1,542.000 tens, against
4.4420,000 tons of turnips'.
It Is announced that the biological
•"Union which has been maintained on
"<ke Baikal for a year by the East
ft Iberian Geographical Society has
been closed.
THE PASSING OF A DREAM.
A wan and wistful hope was mine, A song was also in mv heart, . H /'
Whilst thou on earth didst hold thy Feeble and fitful—often gone— - V
place. And dreams there were divinely sweet, r'
That somehow the lonp whirl of years That faded in the flush of dawn.
Would some time bring us face to face.
One day you drank that poppy draught
While that dim hope clung to my hearty Which all must drink who well would
Some purple gleams lit up life's sea; sleep.
The sirens sat beside the surge * " I dream no more, no more I sing,
And sang—ah! how alluringly. No more will pulses thrill ana leap.
—Hattie Tyng Griswold, in Boston Transcript.
Jo? &
8 A WAGGN=LOAD OF FIRE. §
By Lewis B. Oilier. gj|
ON a pleasant day in early win
ter, about a year after we
had settled on the I.it tic; Pc
ean Creek, I yoked up Lep
and Coaly, the oxen, and put them to
the wagon. I was going for a load of
straw to Johnson place, six miles
north, toward the head of the Little
Pecan.
Two miles from home I came to the
house where Sinclair McCarty, a boy
of my own age, lived. As he was a
good hand at stacking or loading straw
father had suggested that I stop and
get him to go with me. But his moth
er told me that he had gone hunting,
and had been out an hour.
I drove on. Johnson would help me
load the straw; but while jolting
through the woods, I saw Mccarty's
dogs run across the road, and knew
that Sinclair was near. A few shouts
brought him to the wagon. He was
very tall for a boy of sixteen, very
thin, and had a prominent nose.
"Well, what do you think of my new
gun?" was his first remark, as he
held the weapon up for inspection.
"Traded my saddle for her," he ex
plained.
Sinclair's "new" gun was an old
army musket, but ho had never owned
a gun before, and was very proud of
It.
"How does it shoot?" I asked.
"Don't know. Just got my ammuni
tion this morning, and haven't seen
anything to shoot at yet. She's all
right, though; you can tell that by
looking at her."
He consented to go witli me, nnd as
we jogged along, he showed me his
new powder-horn, which lie had made
himself. It was aiarge one, now near
ly full of powder. It huug on one side
of him, and an ainunition-bag of un
dressed deer-skin on the other.
Scarcely had we left the woods when
a mule-eared rabbit jumped out of
the prairie grass by the road and went
jiopping off, hut sat down about thirty
yards away.
"Now just watch her tumble the
mule-ear!" said Sinclair, for with bor
rowed guns he had become a fair
shot.
Stopping the oxen, I went and stood
at their heads to keep them from run
ning away. At the report of the mus
ket the liig rabbit, darted off like a
streak. Sinclair stood staring after it,
as if expecting every moment to see it
drop dead. When it had disappeared
over the ridge, ho rubbed his shoulder,
looked Into the muzzle of the gun,
and finally squinted his eye along the
barrel.
"She looks all right, and the barrel's
straight enough," he remarked, in a
puzzled, serious way. "Don't see why
she don't shoot straighter. Nearly
kicked my shoulder off. too." Later,
while reloading, he said; "She's a little
hard on the trigger. Guess I must
have pulled her up when I pulled her
off."
But after three more fruitless shots
at "mule-ears" as we drove along ho
threw the musket on the ground.
"If that was what the Confederate
ioldiers had to fight with, no wonder
our side got licked!" he exclaimed au
rrily.
"Pick It up and bring it along," I
•aid, laughing. "You'll need it Cnrlst
mas. It makes a terrible noise," for
It Is at Christmas time Texas hoys set
off their fireworks.
Sinclair took up the musket. "I'll
trade her off the very first chance I
get!" he declared, angrily. "Somebody
has got to pay mo for that saddle."
Sinclair was a born trader. He had
a reputation among the boys for get
ting the better in swapplngs, but for
once he had been badly cheated, and
was angry over it.
"What'll you take for it?" I asked,
skeptically.
"Never you mind. That saddle was
worth $lO, and I'll get something just
as good."
"Let's he traveling. We'll soon be
where I saw the deer last week. You'd
better put in a load of buckshot," I
suggested.
He poured nearly a handful of pow
der into the gun. "I'll put in a load
that is a load—one that'll scatter ail
over the country!" he declared. "If
there's a deer between here and the
Big Pecan, I'll get It." Then he wad
ded up a piece of newspaper and
rammed It down on the powder.
"You'll get kicked heels over head,"
I remarked, from some experience
with a musket.
"Let her kick,!" was his reply, as he
hammered the powder till the ramrod
bounced out of the barrel. "I'm going
to put in ammunition enough to klil
something, if she kicks me clean out
of the county!"
Then Sinclair went on ahead -and
walked all the rest of the way, but
saw neither deer nor anything else at
which he cared to shoot.
Johnson helped us put the straw on
th frame. We threw off our coats
and worked and worked, till tue wa
gon disappeared and the straw on it
rose high above the oxen. When
finished (he huge load looked like a
strawstack on wheels. The straw was
so very dry and light that It would
not pack well.
To bind the load a rope tied to the
fore end of the frame was passed back
over the straw, pulled down till It cut
deep, and tied to the hind end of the
frame. I tossed Sinclair's coat, pow
der horn and ammunition bag up to
him, and reached up the musket.
Then, getting the oxen stnrtecl into
the road, I stepped upon the wagon
tongue, climbed the rope hand over
hand, and sat on the front end of the
load.
Sinclair put down the gun, with the
pointing muzzle behind, stuck the
powder horn into the straw to keep it
l'rom sliding off, crawled forward and
s..t by my side. He was In a good hu
mor now.
Night must overtake us long before
we could got home, and from the
smoke rising beyond the ridge we
knew that the prairie was burning.
At dusk we saw the fire Itself on topi
of the ridge. Night had already set
tled down when we rounded a point
of timber and came upon the burning
grass.
The fire had come over the ridge in
a V-slinpe, little end first. As there
was no wind to speak of, the apex
had stopped at the road, and the two
blazing lines were now separating, one
slowly burning toward us and the
other from us.
Coaly, a bad-tempered beast, puffed
and puffed as we approached the first
fire, aud tried to turn out of the road,
but Lop jogged along complacently
nnd refused to turn. Soon the wagon
had passed the narrow front of fire,
and was moving between unburnt
prairie on the left nnd blackened,
smoking ground on the right.
Soon we overtook the other line of
fire. The blaze near the road was
only a few Inches high, the grass there
being very short. Wo saw no danger
in passing on, and to this day I don't
know how the accident happened.
Possibly the straw was hanging lower
than we thought, but more probably
the blaze had just reached a bunch of
high grass or a tall, dry weed, aud
running up set fire to the straw. The
light of the burning prairie kept us
from discovering that we were afire
till the wagon had gone several yards.
The first tiling we knew flames were
leaping up from the right fore corner
of the load, from a part of the fore
end. and from over a larger part of the
right side!
We both sprang to our feet, shouting
"Whoa!" with all our might, aud the
wagon had nearly stopped when the
oxen turned their heads to see what
the light behind them meant. One
look was enough. With a snort nnd a
plunge Coaly started. Even lazy old
Lep was panic-stricken. Away they
went!
As the wagon hounded forward Sin
clair nnd I tumbled backward on the
straw. The oxen were galloping with
the big but light load jumping and
rocking behind them. The rush of air
swept the fire over the straw. Before
we could get up smoke and flame
were In our faces. Blinded aud con
fused we scrambled to the side aud
dropped off, glad to escape lu any way.
When we fell, we rolled over and
over In the grass, jarring ourselves
and bruising out knees and elbows.
By the time we had risen and recov
ered our presence of mind, the oxen
and wagon were a hundred yards
down the road, and still running. The
flames had spread over the whole top
of the load, and were leaping forward.
"Come on!" I cried to Sinclair. And
after the wagon I ran, shouting to the
oxen at every jump. Being a pretty
good runner I gained on them, and
had got within twenty yards of the
wagon when I heard Sinclair yelling
behind me:
"Look out there! You'll get shot!"
| Iu my frantic engeruess to stop the
oxen so as to get them loese and save
the wagon I had forgotten all about
that old musket, half full of powder
and buckshot on top of the blazing
straw, hut now I stopped suddenly
and ducked my head in my fright.
"Don't get closet" cried Sinclair,
catching up with me. "She's likely to
go off at any moment!"
But I exclaimed desperately, "We
must do something or lose everything
—the oxen, too! Let's run round to
the side of the wagon!"
"Xo, we won't!" replied Sinclair.
"Xo telling which way that gun's
pointing by this time. Keep back till
she goes off. Then we can "
liip—bang—boom. A stream cf flre
shot out almost over our heads as the
old rumy musket exploded! The buck
shot whistled over us. At the llash
we had both started to run. I caught
my toe in the grass and fell. At the
same moment a sharp pain ran
through my knee. I was badly fright
ened.
"I'm shot!" I exclaimed, getting upon
my feet.
"Where?" asked Sinclair, returning
to my assistance.
"Here in the knee. I felt the buck
shot go In. It—no. I'm not, cither"' I
cried, laughing with relief as I plucked
out a big grass-bur that I had fallen
on and threw it away.
We started after the wagon again,
but remembered tho powder horn.
"Ifs got two ponniJa In It," said Sin
clair. "The musket wasn't a patckin'
to what that powder'll do when It goes
off. It'll blow everything sky-high."
"O goodness! The oxen will be
killed and the wagon blown to pieces!"
Since the explosion Lep and Conly
wore running faster, and the flaming
load of straw was bouncing and sway
ing down the road. We ran after It,
keeping as close behind the dangerous
thing as we dared. The prairie around
was brightly lighted. Wisps of blaz
ing straw had begun to fly off behind.
Sinclair's two dogs were racing along
by the wagon.
The powder horn had been pretty
deeply burled in the straw. The oxen
must have run nearly a mile and Sin
clair and I wqre both panting loudly,
and I was beginning to hope that in
some way there might not be an ex
plosion, when the flames, which had
been leaping high, shot far higher,
spreading out as they rose. An instant
later we heard a terrific report. The
air far above the wagon was full of
lire and blazing straw.
Fortunately the powder, being high
up in the load and confined only in the
thin born, had exerted its force up
ward. Aside from scattering the sur
face straw and making a loud noise
and a big flash it did nothing at all.
Poor Lep and Coaly! They had been
panic-stricken before, but now they
left the road and broke into mad flight
across the prairie. The wagcn load of
fire bounding along behind them
seemed no encumbrance.
"No danger —now!" cried Sinclair,
breathlessly. "Lot's catch 'em—if we
can!"
We increased our speed. The blaz
ing straw scattered by the wagon was
setting tiro to the prairie, and wo bad
to keep on one side. Soon the oxen
circled to the right, making straight
for the ridge. We cut across the
prairie, saving a few hundred yards,
and were again near the wagon.
"If we can—only—only over—over
take 'em!" I gasped, as we ran.
"Wagon's gone—l guess—but we can
—we must—must save—the oxen!
Won't do to —to let 'em bur—to
death!"
"No—that It—won't!" panted Sin
clair. "And If we can—only get—get
her out—before she's—she's burnt— too
much—l can—trade her—for—for a "
lie did not say what he wanted to
trade the musket for.
Soon the wagon passed over the
ridge and started down the sloping
prairie beyond. On reaching the high
est ground wo stopped, puffing loudly.
As we stood resting, with gasping
lungs and pounding hearts, we
watched the wagon rush down the
slope. It certainly made a brilliant
spectacle. The rope which had cut so
deep into the straw that the lire could
not get to it at first, had by this time
burnt in two, so that the straw hud
jolted loose and blazed fiercely. The
rocking and plunging wagon threat
ened every moment to turn over, but
always righted itself. The dogs still
kept near it. Fire enveloped the whole
load now, and the flames were leaping
many feet skyward. A rain of blazing
straws fell from the wagon upon the
dry grass, which quickly llamed up,
making a fiery trail behind that cx
drawn comet.
At that time I was afraid that L,ep
and Coaly were scorched, but as after
ward appeared they were only panic
stricken. Even the hair on their tails
was scarcely singed. The upright
pieces in front prevented any of the
straw from falling forward, and so
fast did the wagon keep going that the
Hying wisps and the heat, too, must
have been swept backward by the
rushing air.
Presently Lop and Coaly swung to
one side. The wagon was running too
fast to turn short. Up rose the hind
end in the air, and over it went, liurl
iug lire many yards beyond! The
frame stopped on its side, leaning
against the straw, and the wagon
rested on the frame.
The oxen had been nearly jerked off
their feet They struggled wildly,
tearing the wagon loose from the
frame and dragged it on Its side till it
turned entirely ever. They might
have dragged it to pieces, but the
tw'isting broke the tongue loose from
the yoke. Once free they plunged
away across the prairie at breakneck
sliced.
Sinclair and I were already running
down the slope. We did not bother
about the cxen; they could take earc
of themselves now. The prairie grnss
was burning all around the straw in a
widening circle, so that ho could not
get near the straw and frame, but wo
righted the overturned wagon and kept
drawing it back till the circle was
large enough. Then we gave it r.
push through the blazing grass and
left it standing on the burnt ground.
We then took a running start, jump
ed over the prairie Are into the black
ened circle and drew near to the burn
ing straw and the bay frame. Sinclair
gazed sorrowfully into the f.ro and
thought of his loss.
"She was a good guu—a mighty good
gun." ho sighed. "If we'd ouly raved
her I could have got a Cue trade for
her from somebody. Cuess, though,
I'd have kept her to hunt with. Oh,
you needn't laugh! I know she didn't
shoot EO overly well the Crst few
t.rncs, hut that must have been be
cause I didn't know how to load her.
I'd never loaded a musket before.
That last shot sounded mighty like it
would have killed something if it had
half n chance."
"That's so, Sink," I said, "out don't
worry about the old thing. Hunt up
another one. The owner will be glad
to trade it to you for r. pocket knife.
It was a pity, though, that you last so
much good powder. What tickles mo
Is the way that wagon was saved. If
we'd stopped the oxen before they up
set It, as we tried to, we couldn't have
got the load off, and straw, wagon and
ail would bavo burnt up before our
eyes, to spite of everything we could
do. Lucky turnover for me."
A little later, after we had rested
and after the prairie Ores had opened
away for us, we turned and trudged
off toward home.—Youth's Companion.
ELEPHANT RACING,
Queer Indian Sport Which Also lias lis
Derby Day.
An elephants' Derby sounds dis
tinctly sensational, but the idea can
not sound more sensational than such
a contest actually Is.
The Briton is nothing if not a
sportsman, despite Napoleon's historic
sneer about our being a nntion of
shopkeepers; and wherever John Bull
goes there you may be sure to find
him indulging in one form of sport or
another.
Thus, in India elephants are often
impressed into the service of our
sporting enthusiasts, and an elephants'
Derby recently took place up country.
Steeplechasiug with horses is excit
ing enough, but when you have ele
phants engaging in the form of sport
well, you somehow forget that life
ever seemed dull to you.
Naturally, the course Is not so per
fect as at Epsom. Nevertheless, there
are plenty of coigns of vantage from
which crowds of eager spectators, na- '
tlve and white, watch the progress of
the contest and encourage the riders
by their small shrieks and constant
shouting.
By the din alone you would know
that you were in the East, even if you
did not see the spectators and com
petitors. The mahouts, as the native
drivers are called, cling to the necks i
of their mounts, urging them on by
means of their sharp goads, which
they apply to tho elephants' ears. To
see the huge, lumbering creatures be
ing driven over tho course at their
utmost speed Is at once one of the
most comical and exciting sights im
aginable.
Barriers and ditches arc constructed
at intervals across the track, and, 1
though a novice would in nine cases
out of ten regard the elephants'
efforts to negotiate these with con
vulsions of laughter, devotees to this
form of racing become far too ab
sorbed in the fortunes of the contest
for the ludicrous side of it to appeal
to them. Besides, it is just these ob
stacles which provide the critical
points of the race, for as the elephants
attempt to got over or out of them a
racer goes down and many a mahout
is thrown to the ground at imminent
peril of being crushed by the elephant
which is immediately following.
Take It as a whole, an elephant
steeplechase is a sight to remember,
and one you should never miss seeing
if ever you get an opportunity. It out-
Derhys all the Derbies within living
recollection as far as excitement is
concerned.—London Express.
What liotlier. il the Cook.
A lady had a cook who gave lior
every satisfaction and she was under
the impression that the cook was
equally satisfied with her place. But
one morning, to the lady's intense
surprise, tho cook gave her the usual
mouth's notice.
"What do you want to leave me for,
Jane?" asked the mistress. "I am
very much pleased with you, and I
thought you were quite comfortable
here."
"Yes, mum, I'm quite comfortable
enough In away, but "
The cook hesitated and fidgeted
about.
"But what ?" queried the mistress.
"Well, mum," she blurted cut, "tho
fact is tho master doesn't seem to
'preciato my cookery, and I can't stop
in a place where my efforts to please
are wasted; so I'd rather go, mum."
"But what makca you think that
your master doesn't appreciate ycur
cookery V Has lie ever complained to
you?" asked the lady.
"No, mum, but my late master was
always being laid up through over
eating—he said he couldn't help doing
so because my cookery was so de
licious; but master hero hasn't been
laid up enco all tlie three months I've
been with you, and that's just what
bothers me co, mum!"—Tit-Bits.
Will TCnngostccn SuperßcC.o Grange}
Thcro is every reason to suppose
that before long a most delicious fruit,
new to America, will dominate cur
markets; already a few spccimcnts
have found their way to the seaboard
, cities.
This Is tho mangostecu—native to
the .Moluccas and extensively culti
vated to Ceylon and Java, and latterly
introduced to Jamaica and otacr por
tions cf British West Indies. It is
about the size of a email orange,
spherical In fcrrn, and when tho riud
is removed a juicy pulp, "white and
-olublc as snow," Is revealed, possess
ing a most delicious flavor some
thing like a nectarine, with a dash
of strawberry and pineapple combined.
It promises, In a few years, to super
sede the orange In popular favor, add
attempts are already being made to
introduce it Into the Southern United
States.—Southern Clinic.
England's Youthful Minister.
Mr. Chamberlain at slxty-firc is
among the youngest men In the llor.se
of Cotnmcn3. He could very well pass
for ten years younger; In broad day
light and at times ho looks positively
youthful. Tho last two cr three years
have touched his raven locks with
gray but his figure Is as slim and alert
as ever. The Colonial Secretary Is a
striking proof of tho truth that every
man Is a law unto himself. He boasts
of never having taken any physical
exercise, and walks only when It Is
Impossible to ride. Yet he always
appears to bo to perfect "training,"
and a touch cf gout now and then is
the only reminder the right honorable
gentleman gets that flesh Is mortal.—
London Chronicles
A Wonderful Maid.
She gave me the marble heart,
She gave me a frozen stare,
She gave me an icy k hand to shake,
With a frightful frigid air.
Oh. she was a maiden cold,
And I was in deep despair,
Till she gave me a shock when she gave
me a lock
Of her flaming, fiery hair!
—Philadelphia Record.
A Bald Assertion.
Barber—"Your hair will be gray if It
keeps on."
Scantylocks—Well, I hope It will
keep on."—Baltimore World.
A Tendency of the World.
"Why don't Bloomingboy give up
his had habits?"
"He's afraid people would quit talk
tog about what a bright fellow he Is
aud what wonderful things he would
do if he weren't dissipated."—'Wash
ington Star.
The Girl Behind tlio Goggles.
First Automobile Girl—"You don't
seem much put out by your automo
bile breaking down."
Second Automobile Girl—"No; I am
always so nervous expecting it to
break down tbat I am actually re
lieved when it does!"— Buck.
Very Probably.
"What would you do if you had a
million dollars?" said one plain every
day man.
"Oh," replied the other. "I suppose
I'd put in most of my time comparing
myself with some one who had a
billion, and feeling discontented."
Well Done.
"In designing his tombstone," said
the widow of the late Wall Street
broker, "I was thinking of tills in
scription: 'He did well by his friends.' "
"Ah!" remarked the man who knew
him, "I would suggest 'He did his
friends well.' "—Philadelphia Press.
BitteriiegH.
"There's that girl singing 'A Bird
in a Gilded Cage"" said the nervous
man.
"Yes," answered the boarding house
wag. "If I had a bird that couldn't
sing any better than that, I'd open the
cago and let It fly away."—Washing
ton Star.
Ho Enjoyed Thont.
"Yes," said the weather man, "I very
much enjoy these dialect cowboy
stories."
"You would naturally be interested."
"Of course. Whenever I rend one
of them, it makes me everlastingly
grateful and comforted to think that
we don't really uct and talk like that."
A lSu.lnetiß Inspiration.
"I suppose," said the duke, "that you
will look about for an American girl
as a wife for your sou?"
"Yes," answered the earl; "and if
tho present tendencies of commerce
continue, I shouldn't he surprised if
we had better look out for some hust
ling American young men as husbands
l'or our daughters."
Their ret.
A little man who pretended to lie
very fond of Ills horse, hut kept him
nearly starved, said to a frleud:
"You don't kuow how much we thiuk
of that horse; I shall have him stuffed
so as to preserve him wbcu he dies."
"You'd better stuff him now," re
torted ids friend, "so as to preserve
him living."—Tit-Bits.
A Theory.
"I wonder why children arc so quick
to pick up slang?" said the small hoy's
mother, disconsolately.
"Probably," answered the serious
person, "it is because the constant
repetition of such words as 'goo goo'
aud 'itchy kitchy' iu infancy gives
them a deep-rooted contempt for
words that are in the dictionary."
Meat.
They were speaking of the billion
sire's insufferable pretensions.
"Upon what meat does this our
Caesur feed, that he lias grown so
great?" exclaimed Mordauut bitterly.
"Mint's meat, possibly!" observed
Meltravers, trying to be cheaply witty
while yet preserving the easy grace
of 11 man of the world.—Detroit Free
Press.
Cntchinß u Feminine Fifth.
"Do you really think there are mer
maids in the sea?"
"Certainly," said the dime-museum
man.
"Then why hasn't anybody besides
you succeeded in catching one?"
"Because nobody else was smart
enough to bait a book with the latest
style of Paris hat," was the answer.
—Washington Star.
An A'lvantagn of Matrimony.
"I don't believe," said Mr. Meekton,
pensively, "that married men ever get
to he burglars."
"Have you looked up the statistics?"
"No. But It seems impossible that
a married mnn would ever dare to
walk into a house the way a burglar
does, without stopping at the front
step to wipe his feet."—Washington
Star.
Ad miration.
"What do you think of the new
cook I sent you?" asks the caller.
"Well," said the young housekeeper,
"she has made us admire you very
much."
"Why I didn't train her. I found I
had no use for her after four days."
"Yes; hut you sent her from your
house to ours. We have been trying
for two weeks to semi her from our
house to some other place, but she
Just laughs at usi"— Washiugtou Star,