Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, October 07, 1901, Image 2

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    FREELfIKD TRIBUNE.
ESTABLISHED 18S8.
PUBLISHED EVERY
MONDAY, WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY.
BY THE
TRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY, Limited
OFFICE; MAIN STREET ABOVE CENTRE.
LONQ DISTANCE TELEPHONE.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
FREELAXD.—The TRIBUNE is delivered by
carriers to subscribers in Froeland at the rats
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The TRIBUNE may be ordered direct form th
carriers or from tho office. Complaints of
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Ceive prompt attention.
BY MAIL —Tho TRIBUNE is sent to out-of
town subscribers for $1.60 a year, payablo in
advance; pro rata terms for shorter periods.
The date when tho sul>scriptlon expires is on
the address label of each paper. Prompt re
newals must be made at the expiration, other*
Wise the subscription will be discontinued.
Entered at the Postofflco at Froaland. Pa.,
as Second-Clasy Matter,
Make a\l money order*, check*, eto. t pnyabU
to the Tribune I'tinting Company, Limited.
Talk about sending coal to New
Castle! American milliners are now
exporting their goods to Paris.
It .is estimated that the cost of
crime in the United States amounts
to $5.50 per capita of the population
annually.
Insurance actuaries agree that the
expectancy of life is on the increase.
Of course, the next move will be to
make the people pay for it.
Uncle Sam has certainly "spread
some" when 20,000 miles is the short
est route by which he can tow a dry
dock from one of his island ports to
another.
The dirigible balloon has been in
vented by a Brazilian living in France.
Now what benefactor of the race will
invent an automobile which will al
ways be safely and securely dirigible?
The Memphis Commercial-Appeal
says that to solve the servant girl
problem domestic service must be
made more attractive. It must be
elevated. The foolish prejudice that
debases it should be destroyed. The
gulf between mistress and maid must
be closed or bridged.
The Boston Herald remarks that
there never was a time wheh the na
tion was so actively engaged in carry
ing out the earnest counsel of Wash
ington in the Farewell address: "Pro
mote, then, as an object of primary
importance, institutions for the gener
al diffusion of knowledge."
A London paper described a chil
dren's excursion as a "long, white
scream of joy," and was called to ac
count by a correspondent, who said
that a scream could be long, but not
white. Whereupon the editor justi
fied himself by urging that "a hue
is often associated with a cry."
The United States is the greatest
food-producing country of the world.
Although this country represents but
one-fifth of the total civilized popula
tion of the world, it produces more
than one-fourth of all foodstuffs. The
United States produces 74,000,000 tons
of grain of a total of 229,000,000, and
4,500,000 tons of meat of a total of 15,-
200,000 tons. The Americans also pro
duce a large percentage of the dairy
and fishery production of the world.
There is talic of the establishment of
a women's college of matrimony to be
located in Chelsea, England, where the
duties of a wife will become the sub
ject of a two-year course of study. The
curriculum will embrace not only the
usual branches of housewifery, such
as cooking, serving and laundry work,
but is intended to deal with physiol
ogy and medicine as well, so that the
students will receive mental discipline
in connection with the manual train
ing.
Hawaii's Lawmaker.
The Hawaiian legislature is an in
teresting set of men to behold.
Though the majority have the rich,
dear brown skin of the native, with
large lustrous black eyes, there are
those of the light skin and blue eyes
of the Anglo-Saxon. In two prom
inent members already mentioned, tlie
oriental strain shows plainly. The
brown skins range from the deep
chocolate of the pure Hawaiian, and
some are almost as light as their
white brethren beside them. The na
tives are dignified and carry them
selves with a grace pleasant to see. As
I watch them walking the streets in
earnest converse, they seem like So
lans indeed, with grave responsibili
ties on their shoulders. As they as
cend the capital steps wreathed in
leis of flowers, the picturesqueness of
it all comes to us-, and we feel that
they are quite in harmony with the
bright sunshine and the tropical sur
roundings. A Hawaiian is never with
out his wreath of brilliant flowers for
a hatband, and this Is one of the
charms of the country to a newcomer.
Express trains lu Russia do noi rue
©vr 2- miles an hour.
NOBILITY.
It 1B not that the mountains make the men,
In solitary grandeur, but apart—
The towering hilltops can but serve to start
A sleeping nobleness to life again.
The groat-Bouled natures find their province
when
They join the toilers in the street, the mart,
Tneir honest, rugged sturdiness of heart
Kindling responsiveness unstirred till then.
For such is not the narrow, binding creed,
Nor struggle to excel at others' cost—
The bickeriug selllsh strife to win who can.
On them the Pharisaic oult is lost:
Theirs is to seek and help the crying need,
To stir in all the majesty of man.
—Frederick W illiain Memmott, in the
Sprlnglleld Republican.
jiraLoSiwiij
! Miss Harlowe's LITE Story. |
John Armstrong took Miss Harlowe
out to dinner, and neither the dinner
nor the diners received any ot his at
tention, tor it was entirely occupied
by Miss Harlowe.
He could not have told what was
the first course, nor what was the
last, nor what had been said by the
lion of the evening, Lieut. Barnum of
Cuban fame; but he knew at just what
droop Miss Harlowe's curling lashes
looked prettiest, he knew every de
tail of her gown, he knew just how her
brown hair turned to gold where the
rays of the electric globes fell upon it.
Miss Harlowe held out a twin nut
in her pretty palm. "Will you eat a
phllopena with me, Mr. Armstrong?"
she said.
It was marvellous what a softening
effect those lashes had on her brilliant
eyes, one felt the difference when she
looked straight at one and when she
looked up from under their silken
fringe. Some people said she had
hard eyes. Armstrong did not think
so. He bent over the small hand and
took up the nut as if it were a jewel.
"I will do anything that you ask me
to do," he said. "But what happens
when one eats a philopena?"
"Oh, you cannot accept anything
from me and I cannot accept anything
from you. If one of us does and the
other cries 'philopena!' the unfortu
nate is obliged to give a pawn."
"Those are very hard conditions,
altogether unfair," said Armstrong.
"Eat it!" Miss Harlowe commanded,
imperiously. Then she looked down
at her plate. "There is always away
to get around the hardest conditions,"
she said, softly.
"Phillipa carried on as usual this
evening," remarked the hostess to her
husband when the last guest had
gone. "I declare, that girl is simply
dreadful. She is the dearest, prettiest
thing, but she seems to think that all
men were created solely for her
amusement." '
Mrs. West had a tender heart, and
all the evening she had carried with
her the recollection of the pathetic
gratitude in John Armstrong's eyes
when she told him that ho was as
signed to Miss Harlowe. She gave an
unoffending yellow soft pillow a vicious
dig, which might have led one to sup
pose that for a moment she had trans
formed it Into Miss Harlowe's golden
head. Then she gave her husband a
hug and a kiss as if to atone to all
men for the cruelty of all women.
"My dear." said he, "John Arm
strong is able to take care of him
self."
But Mrs. West knew he wasn't. •
Phillipa was sleeping the sleep of
the just. Probably it was the sleep
lessness of the unjust that John Arm
strong was experiencing.
He had been warned. Other moths
who had fluttered about the flame ex
hibited their singed wings, or expati
ated on the altogether wingless con
dition of still more unfortunate vic
tims. But where is the moth that was
ever saved by good advice?
"She Is as beautiful as a picture,
and with about as much heart," said
Travers.
"She is beautiful, and she has a
heart to match her face," replied
Armstrong. "You fellows have never
been able to reach it, that's all. She
isn't a woman to be lightly won, and
I like her for it."
"Lightly won! Good heavens!
That's just it; she doesn't want to be
won; she only wants to be wooed;
John, my boy, I admire your delicious
self-conceit and your stubbornness,
but I tell you she is just playing with
you."
"I do not care to discuss Miss Har
lowe any further," said Armstrong
coldly. And Travers knew that he
had said as much as he dared.
Phillipa sat in her drawing room,
waiting for John Armstrong. She was
smiling to herself as she remembered
that she had told three men that she
would not be at home tonight.
"He comes out of his shell when
there is no one else here," she said
to herself. "What a great, noble head
he had! And what a will! I will toll
him about the other men."
He caftie directly, and she wel
comed him very sweetly; but as she
looked in his face she saw a certain
firmness about the lips and a steady
light of purpose burning in his eyes,
and she shivered a little. Like Tra
vers, she knew that she had gone as
far as she dared.
She became desperately gay, but
Armstrong was In no mood for rail
lery. He sat silent and watched the
play of the light on her hair, the deli
cate rose color that burned in her
cheeks, the quick drooping and curv
ing of her lips.
'inen he leaned suddenly over her.
He was tremendously in earnest, his
straightforward nature could brook
no preamble. She certainly under
stood him by this time.
"P'lillipa," he cried, "you know that
you are dearer than life to me! Do
not put me off any longer. I cannot
bear it! You are very beautiful, dear,
like some exquisite flower, with all
your gifts and graces, and I am only
an awkward, abrupt fellow. I have
nothing much to offer you, I know I
am not wprthy of you, but I can give
you a heart that is all yours and a
lifetime of love and devotion. Will
you accept It, Phillipa?"
Phillipa laughed nervously. Then
she furled and unfurled her fan and
looked up archly.
"Accept anything from you? Why,
you must think I have forgotten our
philopena! Besides, If I did accept,
you know, I shouldn't have a thing to
give you for a pawn."
"Phillipa, do not trifle with mo."
"You are very unreasonable!"
Phillipa cried, conscious, however,
that her eyelashes were falling her
for the first time. "You ask me to
accept a—a gift just as If there never
was such a thing as a philopena."
Armstrong rose. His lips were
white, his eyes full of pain. He looked
down on her a moment, then he said,
quietly: "Goodby, Phillipa," and
strode from the room.
He took his overcoat from the hall
tree and dragged it on deliberately.
"Like many another poor fool, I see
that I have endowed a beautiful doll
with a soul." he said to himself with
a bitter smile.
He jammed his hat down over his
head and slid back the chain of the
door, then he felt the touch of a hand,
and he turned and saw what no one
had ever seen before —Phillipa's bril
liant eyes all soft and misty with
tears. She laid her cheek against his
sleeve. ,
"John, dear John, forgive me!"
she cried with a little sob. "I do ac
cept, and here, I will give you the
pawn in advance."
She drew his head down and kissed
him, and Armstrong folded her in his
arms without a word.
"You see, dear," whispered Phillipa,
"I couldn't give you my heart for a
pawn, because you already had it,
long ago."—Venita Seibert in the Chi
cago Record-Herald.
FISSURES IN VESUVIUS,
HuHpicions That Another Rig Eruption la
1 m pending.
Professor Matteucci, the careful stu
dent of Mount Vesuvius's vagaries,
predicts that a new eruption will take
place in a short time, and from vari
ous indications he feels satisfied It
will be no slight one.
He has considered it well to utter
a timely warning, as eperience has
shown that Vesuvius, when it vents
its wrath unexpectjpy, does a great
deal of damage to persons and prop
erty in the vicinity.
Professor Matteucci is no alarmist,
but bases his prediction on the fact,
which he has noticed, that various
new fissures are now being formed
near the summit"of the mountain, and
this in his opinion is an unquestion
able proof that masses of lava and
other matter soon will be again
belched forth.
His close study of the volcano dur
ing the recent eruption confirms him
in this opinion.
Day after day he continued his in
vestigations, often at the peril of his
life, and as a result the account of his
work, which he has just forwarded to
the French Academy of Sciences, con
tains more facts about Vesuvius than
were ever known before.
He looted the daily changes that
took place in the crater during the
eruption, and he even measured the
height which was attained by the
great masses of igneous matter after
the mountain had vomited them forth.
The largest of these masses ascend
ed to a height of 537 metres, and when
it fell It occupied a space of 12 cubic
metres, and was found to weigh 30,000
kilogrammes.
It traveled through the air at the
rate of 80 metres a second, and it is
estimated that a force equivalent to
000,000 horse power must have been
required to send it on its skyward
career.
This enormous mass fell dangerous
ly near the professor. This was not
the only occasion, however, on which
he almost lost his life, and his friends
are still wondering how he managed
to escape the constant shower of fiery
rocks that threatened him during the
entire eruption.
At one time it was rumored that he
had been killed, but happily this
proved to be false, and now many are
congratulating him. not only on his
good fortune, but also on the skill and
forethought which have enabled him
to ascertain the time when the next
eruption may be expected.—London
Mail.
All Old Soa-l>oir on lawyer*.
There is a passage of curious inter
est in the will of the late admiral of
the fleet, Sir john Commerell. He
wrote: "Having had fatal experience
of the iniquity of the law in certain
cases, when decisions have been given
against common sense and justice, it
is my directions that my two nieces
who are intended to benefit by the
death of my child or children mean the
the two eldest children of my sister
at the time this will was made, name
ly, Edith Bloomfleld and Kate Bloom
field, and I entreat the parties inter
ested in my will not to appeal to the
law if any difficulty may arise, but
to arbitration. Having been swindled
myself by every lawyer that I ever
had anything to do with makes me
offer this advice to my heirs, cxocu
tors and assigns."—Westminster Ga
zette.
In Algiers a motor vehicle transport
now makes a daily run of 106 miles
between two towns where vehicular
traffic of no kind has ever before been
possible.
I A -i j
In spite of its enormous size the
cathedral of Notre Dame, in Paris,
has hitherto been simply lighted by
wax candles, as gas, It was thought,
would damage the walls and valu
able paintings. Now. It is about to
be electrically illuminated. The cost
of Installing the electric light is esti
mated at SIIO,OOO.
The English are building a railroad
In the African Gold Coast colony from
the sea at Sckondl inland toward
Kumnssl, and have laid thirty-nine
and one-half miles of track, to Tark
wn. One of the difficulties in holding
these African tropical colonies is to
keep the troops alive long enough to
get over the lowlands near the coast.
Remarkable results have been re
ported from a change of natural to
forced draught on a steamship. Two
Scotch boilers arc now doing the work
that formerly required four; the sav
ing of coal is four tons per day, al
though the average revolutions have
Increased three per minute, and con
siderable space has beeil gained for
frolght.
M. Flnmmarion, the well-known as
tronomer, Ims been studying the effect
of various spectral lights on the
growth and habits of silk worms. Re
cently he published his observations.
He found tl)at white light is the most
favorable to the production of silt,
and blue light the least favorable.
Speaking geneijplly, the warm end of
the spectrum is more favorable to the
silk worms than is the cold end.
Egg shells may be used to ndvanlnge
In starting delicate plants for trans
planting. The half shells are filled
with earth and set in a box also con
taining dampened earth. A hole is
made in the point of the shell to al
low drainage. A single seed Is then
planted in each shell, which Is easily
broken when transplanting is done,
without the slightest disturbance of
roots. Tills use of egg-shells Is the
discovery of a French gardener, who
claims that tney are vastly superior to
the little pots generally used for the
purpose by florists.
There are many gravelly channels
of old streams in California in which
gold is found in paying quantities.
The miners call them "dead rivers."
They ran, as a rule, from north to
south, and some of the beds are more
than two miles in width. The gold
was brought down by tlmm from the
mountain "ledges. In some eases, the
channel, nfter the water had disap
peared, served as a course for lava,
which hardened over and concealed
the gold-bearing gravel. In prospect
ing these beds, "melon-seeds" of gold
are found, varying in size from small
grains to a quarter of an inch in di
ameter. - I .
The construction of cement houses
is under consideration In Pittsburg,
Peun., where the millions of tons of
furnace slag produced every year
could thus be utilized. It has been
shown that this slag can be converted
Into cement, by known processes, at'
a less cost than the one dollar a barrel
suggested by Mr. Edison as the result
of an invention on which lie is ex
perimenting. This cement, it is
claimed, can be made fully equal to
the best that Is known as Portland,
although a lower and a cheaper grade
would suffice for house const ruction.
Pulverized nnd mixed with lime, the
slag has been converted into a su
perior plaster,. showing a tensile
strength greater than the ordinary
sand nnd lime. Cement made from
the slag would not only be economical
for house construction, but would
make practically fireproof buildings.
Such use of a product now wasted
or used only to fill ravines would also
be preservative of the forests.
Stammering.
C. Blaggl holds that stammering is
a degeneration of speech, resulting
from an arrest of development in the
powers of co-ordination of the move
ments essential to speech. Children
who stammer usually exhibit other
signs of nervous taint. The remedy
consists in gradual, patient training
of the Individual muscular movements
producing speech. By degrees they
can be co-ordinated nnd combined.
At the same time the pupil should bo
taught to control the bodily contor
tions and facial grimaces which arc
so apt to accompany their efforts to
speak. In tills systematic method of
exercise, comparable to the patient
and constantly repeated efforts neces
sary for the learning of the scales nnd
exercises on the piano, the child will
gradually acquire control of his speech
Instrument and become perfect in its
technique.—La Tribuua Medico.
An Animal Anecdote.
A gentleman, while huntihg near a
river one winter's day, saw a fox run
out on tlie lee and make at full speed
for an opening in the ice where the
rushing water of the river couhl be
plainly seen from the hank. At the
edge he stopped, turned, followed his
tracks back to the bank and then ran
for some distance down tlie stream
nnd sat down. Soon a dog came
crashing outvqif the woods, baying
finely, hot en the fox's trail. Now,
dogs when on a chase of tills kind,
trust almost entirely to their noses.
Tills one was 110 exception. He ran
nlong the ice, head uowu, and when
he reached the hole he could not stop,
but plunged into the water and dis
appeared forever. Then the fox trotted
sway with every sign of satisfaction.
-New York Herald,
nULES ACAINST HAZING.
Regulations Froraulcateil For the Writ
Point Cadets.
The War Department has promul
gated the regulations prohibiting haz
ing at the West Point Military Acad
emy, as prepared and submitted by
Colonel Mills, the Superintendent of
the institution. The regulations are
more stringent than any heretofore is
sued, and in them hazing is thus de
fined:
"Any cadet who shall strike, lay
hands upon, treat with violence, dis
turb in his room or tent or offer bodHy
harm to a new cadet or candidate with
intent to punish, injure, annoy, molest
or harass the same, or who shall with
the same intent invite, order, compel
or permit a new cadet or candidate to
sweep his room or tent, make his bed,
bring water, clean his arms, equip
ment oraceoutrcmcnts or perform any
other menial service for him, or to as
sume any constrained position or to
engage in any form of physical exer
cise, or who shall with the same in
tent, Invite, order or compel any new
cadet or candidate to eat or drink any
article of food or to take into his
mouth any article whatever, or to do
for him anything incompatible with
the position of a cadet and gentleman,
or any cadet whose duty it is to en
force camp, barrack or mess regula
tions who shall permit any new cadet
or candidate to eat or drink any article
of food or to take Into his mouth any
article whatever in violation of said
regulations shall be summarily dis
missed from the Military Academy."
Hazing also Includes any other
treatment of a "harassing, tyrannical,
abusive, shameful, insulting or humil
iating character." Dismissal is the
penalty of violation of these regula
tions. The practice of duel or person
al combat is also prohibited, and the
principals and other persons involved
or any cadet abusing or condemning
another for declining to accept a chal
lenge will be dismissed.
The regulations are considered very
sweeping in their character and such
m to cover without question all acts
of hazing committed by the cadets.—
Washington Times. , > f
Getting Rlograph Pictures.
"Br-r-r-r-ring! Br-r-r-r-ring! Br-r-r
--r-ring!" a quick connection with the
desk 'phone of the city manager, and
in another moment it is known at bio
graph headquarters that a fierce fire
and a series of explosions have devas-
down-town business black, and
tlifit the" loss of life Is estimated at 300.
The camera operator and his assist
ants receive word; there is a scamper
for fire badges, and two minutes later
the biograph outfit, which takes 2000
pictures a minute, is handed into the
emergency wagon, which has been
waiting all day for just such a call.
The city manager tu'rives pn the
scone to arrange'with fire chiefs and
police sergeants for a favorable posi
tion for the picture-taking apparatus.
The camera is set up on Its tripod, the
film-boxes attached, the lens focussed,
and Jhe. operator begins turning the
cfank. Three iulnujes, Gjo mTrmfrX
the" fifwemimt
of the exciting scene is faithfully re
corded. The film, which may be from
100 to 300 feet in length, is then car
ried to the biograph factory, where it
is developed in its entirety on reels
that carry It through developing solu
tions, dried by power-fans, and a "pos
itive" is printed from It by electric
light. The process takes from two to
four hours.
That night the catnstrophe of the af
ternoon, projected on a screen, seems
almost as real to the theatregoer as
the actual occurrence was to those
who witnessed it—Everybody's Mag
azine.
A Tcrrlblo Grind.
Phe was old and gray and presented
a most pathetic picture, sitting within
the shadow of the church on the cor
ner and bending wearily over her
wheezy little handorgan. In the damp
ness of the night she shivered and
drew her worn and faded shawl more
closely about her shrunken shoulders.
The tall, fashionably dressed man,
standing at the curb waiting for a
cab, glanced over at the melancholy
figure, and for a moment forgot about
his cab. She was somebody's poor
old mother, he thought, and maybe
she had seen better days. He had a
mother once. Fumbling in his pocket,
he walked quickly over to the little
old woman and dropped some coins
into her rusty tin cup.
"You must find this very hard, my
poor woman," he remarked to her
kindly.
The dull, tired eyes were raised to
his for a moment gratefully, and then
the old gray head was bowed again
wearily over the little organ
"Yes," she said, softly and in a tone
of profound sadness, "yes, it is a
terrible grind."—New York Times.
Tea Growing in the United States.
As soon as American inventive ge
nius and the adaptation of machinery
render it practicable to perform by
machinery such share of ihe lnbor
now done by hand in China, Japan
and Ceylon as to render competition
with them practicable, the United
States may produce all of its own tea,
and much more. The tests hnve been
conducted for several years and
through several trying winters, and
show that the plnnts thrive In our cli
mate, while the quality of the tea and
the quantity per acre compare favor
ably with the highest average in the
Orient.—Everybody's Magazine.
The Lawyer's Dull Semon.
Prosperity means less work for the
lawyer. IVhen everybody is making
money pieu come together on a friend
ly footing and settle their disputes
betwecm themselves. Attorneys who
devote themselves to criminal practice
arc also mlnua many regular clients
in good times—Washington Post.
Desperate.
I'll get licked
I'll bet a dollar
I don't care
Ain't goin' to hol'er,
I'll take twenty,
Ef I must,
But I'll go swimmin'
Ef I bust.
—St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
Time For Him to Look Out.
"I tell you, sir, there Is danger in
the higher education of women."
"Yes—for the uneducated man."—
Chicago Post
A Sad Mistake,
"He kissed her on the impulse of
the moment" said Jaysmith, telling
the story.
"Why didn't he kiss her on the lips?"
asked the Cheerful Idiot.—New York
Times. r .
Wise. *"
"She called me 'pet'" said the wit
ness.
"Oh!" the lawyer returned, "and
what else?"
"I don't know. I ran then."—Chicago
Record-Herald.
Sure Enough.
"You said that I was the first girl
you ever courted."
"Yes, dcareßt."
"Well, what made you look under
the sofa before we sat down?"— Ch
icago Record-Herald.
Twenty Years Ilonce.
"Is he what you would call a self
made man?" said one multimillion
aire.
"I should say so," answered the
other. "Why, I can remember the
day when he had scarcely n million
dollars to his name."—Washington
Star. ;: Jj
.
Tact In the Courtroom.
The courtroom was hotter than the
Soudan in a sandstorm. The Judge
was a wreck, the jury had wilted.
"Your Honor and gentlemen," said
the attorney for the defense, "I will
indulge in no heated argument, but
proceed at ouee to marshal the cold
facts."
And he won his ease.—Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Thoughtless Woman.
Mr. Krusty—"Well, it's too late now.
Why didn't you come to my office
when you were downtown to-day and
tell me all this?"
Mrs. Krusty—"Why, I didn't think
to stop at your office."
Mr. Krusty—"That's just like you.
j If you'd only stop to think occasion
ally, perhaps you would have thought
to stop."—Philadelphia Press, '
1 —— - - '
Help Wanted—Male.
Mrs. Hauskeep—"Goodness! This
meat is absolutely raw. This new
I cook is wretched; she never cooks
anything half enough."
Mr. Hauskeep—"Don't blame lier.
She's only a woman."
Mrs. Hauskeep—"What has that to
do with it?"
Mr. Hauskeep—"Well, 'woman's
work is never done,' you know."—
Philadelphia Press.
Proud of Her.
"I want to get your wife interested
in our new system of manual train
ing," said the woman with a short
skirt and a felt liat.
"Well," answered Mr. Meekton, "you
can come In. But If you are trying
to teach Henrietta anything about
training a man I'm thinking you are
wasting your time. Henrietta can
come pretty near giving lessons In
inauunl training, Henrietta can."— i
Washington Star. V
Deserved Promotion.
It was a sultry afternoon, and the
teacher of a geography class was en
deavoring to get u few good answers
before the closing of the lesson. "Now,.
boys, the word 'stan' at the end of a
word means 'place of.' Thus we hnve
Afghanistan, the place of the Afghans;
also Hindustan, the place of the
Hindus. Now, euu any one give an
other example?"
"Yes, sir," said the smallest boy,
proudly; "I can. Umbrellastan, the
place for umbrellas."—Tit-Bits.
Entitled to Damaged.
"But why," asked the lawyer. "ilq
you wish to sue this critic for libel?"
"Because of the irreparable damage
he lias done to my reputation as a
poet," replied the writer.
"But in the line of criticism " >
"Ah, but this wasn't criticism. I J
could have stood fair, honest criticism, *
even if unfavorable, but this was
bitterly and unnecessarily cruel and
damaging. Why, sir, lie said that my
productions were excellent specimens
of what are now known us literary
magazine poems."—Chicago Post.
AVbnt lie Sought.
"Yes," said the architect, "I can
build you a nice summer home for
about 5800."
| "That's whnt I want," returned the
perspiring Individual, "and It's cheap
enough, too."
"Right out In the woods," went OD
the architect.
"Woods!" exclaimed the perspiring
individual, "Woods!"
"Oh, well, on the shore of the lake,
then."
"On the shore! A summer home on
the shore!"
"Certainly. Where would you have
It?"
"Under the water, sir; under tlie v
waier," said the perspiring individual
emphatically. "You don't seem to
understand that this is a summer
home that I want."—Chicago Post. r