\mirn TRIBUNE. ESTABLISHED 1 BSB. PUBLISHED EVERY MONDAY, WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY, DY TIIB TRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY. Limited OFTICE; MAIN STREET A DOVE CENTRE, LONG DISTANCE TELEPHONE. RATE* FREELAND.—The TRIBUNE isdelivered by carriers to subscribers in Frcclnnd attho rate of l'jys cent?* per month, payable every two months, or Si 50a year, payable in advance- The TRIBUNE may be ordered direct form the carriers or from the office. Complaints of irregular or tardy delivery service will ro ceive prompt attention. BY MAIL —The TRIBUNE is sent to out-of town subscribers for 61.60 a year, payable in advance; pro rata terms for shorter periods* The date when the subscription expires is on the address label of each paper. Prompt re newals must he made at the expiration, other wise the subscription will be discontinued. Entered at the Postoffico at Freeland. Pa., as Second-Class Matter. Make all money orders , checks, eto. ,pay able to the Tribune Printing Company, Limited. The bacillus of gout doubtless re gards the germ of grip as a very com mon person. Some of the scientists convey the impression that all one really needs to hold an off-hand conversation with Mars is a good, active imagination. Lord Rosebery wants the "nation of shopkeepers" to send its young men abroad to learn how to keep shop. Talk about sending coals to New castle! Maximite is the name of a new ex plosive, which throws projectiles through seven inches of Harveyized steel plate. It is now up to the plate makers again. Among the latest cures arc gly cerophosphate of sodium for old age, decomposed light for consumption and electricity for various other ailments. And still not one ray of hope for the victim of the soft corn. The titled aristocracy of the Old World are singularly indifferent to the opportunities presented to them of marrying some of the American ser vant girls who are acquiring fortunes by inheritance from the estates of rich European relatives. Sam Lewis, late of London, may have been a heartless Shy lock while he lived, but his will is certainly a benev olent document, with its bequests of $4,750,000 to charities and hospitals, nearly half of it to "provide dwellings for the poor of all creeds." The Galveston News remarks that we have been so kind to criminals that the kindness amounts in many cases to downright cruelty. By over generous treatment in the court houses scores of men have been led to take their chances of acquittal and glory. In 181G the first savings bank was established in the United States. In 1820 there were 10 banks of this class, with 8035 depositors. In 1899 there were 942 savings banks, with 5,678,000 depositors and deposits to the amount of $2,230,000,000. A night operator in a signal box of a southern railroad slept at his post and thus failed to transmit a regular signal which would have sent an express jtr?in crashing fill speed intp a siding. This young man is a chump if he does not claim a case of supernatural hyp r.otization, while the company are puz zling over what to do to him. The Italian army has made an effort to recover its military prestige in China. The other day the commanding officer reported a brilliant victory over the rebels. On invc: ation it was found that he had fallen in with a body of Chinese soldiers, who ran away at once. They were pursued with great dash and gallantry and cut to pieces. Hence the laurels. Winston Churchill, the English war correspondent, says that after careful study of many nations he has conclud ed that the distinguishing character istic of English speaking people as compared with other white races i 3 that they wash and wash at regular intervals. "England and America," he says, "are divided by an ocean of salt water, but they are united by a bath tub of soap and fresh water." Portugal a Dog In the Manger. In the 500 years in which he has claimed the shore line of East Africa from south of Lorenzo Marques to north of Mozambique, and many hundreds ol miles inland, the Portuguese has been the dog in the manger among nations. 111 all that time h; has done nothing to help tin land or the people which he pretend-; to protect, and lie keeps those tvho w • d i .prove botli from gaining any hob' >r infl'.encc over cither. His strip tt'l is still unsettled and un safe, e 1 uiitami ibtier's Magazine. J THE STORY OF A LOVE STORY. J . By Henry Irving Dodge. 5 "HeiTc?, Mr. Writer-man." "Hello, editor." "What have you got for us today?" "My opinion in the case." "What case?" "Don't you remember? The other day you said you had received a story that was so bad that it was good, and that you were half inclined to print it as a sample of the stuff you receive daily and are actually expected to pub lish. You asked me what I thought of the scheme " The writer-man paused. "Well?" interrogatively. "Well, I've embodied my opinion in a story. Here it is." The red-faced man with the yellow mustache and blue eyes put a. tanned hand into an inner pocket, drew out a manuscript and handed it to the ele gantly groomed Harvard man at the desk. "Read it," he said. Mansfield settled himself comfort ably and read "The Story of a Love Story." Once upon a time there was a bril liant editor of a famous magazine; there was also a writer-man whom the editor liked and whose stories he hated to reject; but the safety of the magazine demanded it. It happened one day that the editor was sore per plexed about a matter, and he called the writer-man in to help him out. "Briggs," said he, "I have a story that is so bad that it is good. It is a splendid specimen of the 'rot* that is sent us. I want to use it as a sample of the sort of thing we get—of the drivel we are expected to publish— It's a love story." "Has it no uplifting cynicism to re deem It?" asked Briggs satirically. "No, it's sheer flubdub, balderdash, food for fools." "Who wrote it? Some foolish old woman, I suppose." The editor knitted his brows. '•No, ' he replied; "a yourg woman wrote it—a school teacher." "Young, beautiful and a school teacher," repeated Briggs. "Let me see the story. Ah, it has two good traits— it's beautifully typewritten and it smells of roses." After a few minutes he handed the story back with a weary smile. He pondered a moment, then his face brightened. "How do you know she's young?" he asked. The editor unlocked a private drawer. "She wrote me a short, letter giving a sketch of her life, and telling me how she came to write the story. I wish the letter were longer—l'd pub lish it instead of the other. It's in tensely interesting. It seems she has suffered the same as the rest of us. She also sent her photograph; here it it. Imagine that face associated with such rot. It seems a sacrilege." "Horrible," commented Briggs sol emnly. "She lives in B—ville, Texas," con tinued the editor. "How shall you arrange with her?" asked Briggs. "You must, of course, give your reason for publishing the story. I shouldn't feel greatly flattered If you were to use any of my stuff for such a scheme as that. It's brutal." "I know it is. But there is such fierce competition between us editors that we must employ eccentric methods when we fail of original." "You must even descend to the breaking of a girl's heart," said Briggs. Hamilton flushed. "I am not going tc publish her name, and I'll pay her as much as I would Howells or Kip ling." 6riggs smiled. "My dear boy, you might as well try to console a mother for the loss of her child by telling her that no one would know it was her's that died. It's not the world she cares for —it's her pet, and she'll mourn over It all the more on account of its frier/1- lOSshesa. You don't kr.ow women, but you should know authors. An author's story may be deformed, ugly, even Idiotic, but you can no more reason him into seeing its unloveliness than you can convince a mother of the ugli ®ess of her child." "Don't lecture," exclaimed Hamil ton; "give me an answer—yes, or no. •hall I publish it as a terrible exam ple?" "Yes," said Briggs. Hamilton laughed. "Woll, if you're not the most inconsistent fellow I ever saw, I thought you were trying some of your eccentric logic on me. Come to lunch." Six months later Hamilton steamed into St. Louis en route to California; he was to stop over for two days. The first afternoon of his stay In that city brought him a brief note, which bore the official mark of a hospital, was signed by one of the doctor®, and marked "private." It ran: "Dear Mr. Hamilton: "We have here a most curious case of melancholy—of slew heart-break. The case is that of a young woman. A most interesting feature of the affair Is that the patient was thrown into the greatest excitement by the reading of your name in the 'hotel arrivals' in this morning's paper. Perhaps you will be interested to see her, although I've no doubt her trouble is a mere hallucination. "Your 3 truly, "Sprague. M. D." Two hours later the young doctor received Hamilton's card. The men shook hands, and then, without any "preliminaries," Hamilton said: "Dr. Sprague, I want to see the young woman who showed such alarm at the mention of my name." "Nothing easier, sir," replied the doctor, taking his visitor's measure with a glance. "I'll show you it was, as I said, a mere hallucination. I sus pect she will have forgotten you by this time." Then, leading the way to a remote corner of the room, he drew aside a curtain and said quietly: "Miss Marguerite." "Come in," said the girl in a low, musical voice and marked southern accent. A mellow "half light" filled the apartment. 2 "I've a visitor." The splendid Harvard man stood at the doctor's side and slightly to the rear. From his eyes there shone a great compassion. "This is Mr. Hamilton." A cry of alarm came from the pillows. Hamilton approached the hod. "Won't you tell me why my name alarms you so?" he asked tenderly. She looked at him for what seemed an interminable period, then she said, half to herself: "How could a. man with a face like that do such a thing?" At this the doctor would have with drawn, but Hamilton, with a motion of the hand, detained him. "Do what?" Hamilton asked. "I heard you say, doctor," the girl went on, "it was an hallucination; but here—read this!" She fumbled under her pillow, drew out a sealed envelope and handed it to Hamilton. "I didn't intend that should be opened until my death, but I think you, of all men, should see it." Hamilton broke the seal and read. The doctor watching him saw a look of the keenest pain come to him. The contents of the envelope had fallen from Hamilton's hand. They wore simply a letter and a clipping. The doctor picked them up and handed them to the girl, but she gave him back the letter and said quietly, "Read it." It ran: Dear Miss Wentworth: "Your story, 'His One Love,' has been favorably considered by us. We want you to let us publish it anony mously, or under a nom de plume. It suits our purpose so well that I shall pay you 'Kipling prices' for it. In closed please find check for SIOO. I trust you will find this fair compensa tion. Yours, Truly, "John Ray Hamilton. Editor." The doctor folded the letter, and as the girl took it she said: "When I received that my dream of happiness was realized. I did not mind their publishing it anonymously. It has my Idol. I did not care for fame, but I had labored—oh! so long—over that story. But, like most women, I couldn't keep it to myself. I had to tell all my friends that my story had been accepted by the leading New Aork magazine. I showed them all this letter, and I was fairly lionized by the simple village folks. I was pointed out as the young literary woman of tho state, and sonic even said I would bo a great novelist. Well, finally the maga zine came." Hamilton groaned. "Everybody in the village had order ed one, and Bill Morrison, the stage driver, handed them around; but ho didn't make any comment. He seemed in a hurry to get away as soon as he gave me mine, and when I called after him and asked if he had read my story and weren't going to congratulate me on it, ho seemed not to hear me, but turned so quickly away that 1 was alarmed. He had rend my story, though, and this is what he head at the top of it!" Hamilton raised his hand in a depre cating manner. The doctor took the slip. It read as folicW3: "For a long time we have been on the lookout for the most worthless story possible, in order to give our readers an idea of the kind of rubbish we receive, and have selected this as the one." The doctor stood with the slip in his hand. The girl watched his face as he read, then said: "A whole world, no doubt, laughed at the brilliant editor's sarcasm. All but a lone, little village in the back woods of Texas. There were a dozen men there who would gladly have gone to Now York and shot that editor, but I begged them not to do so. I was dreadfully ashamed. I could hardly look my own mother In the face. And after all the hopes they had built on me, too. They loved me so, and pitied me so! but when heir compassion be came greater than I could bear I crept away alone—alone with my broken heart—to die here. I hadn't done any thing to deserve it, either, I had just worked at my story, dreaming of fame; and when it was ready I copied it so neatly, and didn't roll it or fold it, but put it between two pieces of pasteboard, and then posted it myself. And I waited so long, and then the editor's letter came. And oh! the joy of it. And then —and then—oh! the tragedy, the cruelty of it all." She broke into a violent fit of sob bing. At this Hamilton groaned and turned away. "I have only one thing to say," said the girl softly. "I thank God for giv ing me the chance to tell you that I forgive you." A sound like the faint echo of a zephyr escaped lier; then a great still ness followed. The doctor moved nearer to the bed. He bent down and looked at the girl; then he touched Hamilton gently on the shoulder. "Come," he said. "No," said Hamilton, "not till I tell her how I feel, what I will try to do, what " "Your words will have to go to heaven to reach her," replied the doc tor. The story ended abruptly. Mansfield turned the page. '.Where's the rest of it?" he asked of the writer-man with the red face and yellow mustache. "There isn't any 'rest,'" answered the writer-man. "But it hasn't any ending to it." "It has a very logical ending." "But you didn't give that brute, Hamilton, a chance to do anything for the girl—to make amends." "There wouldn't be any moral to it if I did," replied Webb. "And I'm afraid the readers would be dissatisfied with the way it ends," continued Mansfield. After a pause the writer-man said: "What are you going to do with it?" "I'll give you a hundred dollars for it, but I shan't publish it the way it ends—or rather, doesn't end." "What good is it to you, then?" The editor put his hand affectionate ly on the writer-man's arm: "My dear boy, you have saved me from doing a mean thing, a low down mean thing. I couldn't find it in my heart now to use the Jencks girl's story in the way I Intended. Just think, it might have broken her heart. Thank heavens, man, you have saved her and me." He pressed a button. "Ask the cashier to make a check for Mr. Webb for $100," he said to the boy who appeared in response to the summons. When the check was brought in Webb folded it carefully and put it in his pocket. "Come to lunch with me," he said. The brilliant editor rose and put on his hat. At that moment the boy ap peared with a card. The editor read it: 'Serena Jencks, Galveston." He handed the card to the writer man, then turned to tho boy. "Show the lady in. Stay where you are, Webb." Then he added: "A good char.c? to sec th: girl." Webb chuckled. A tall slender girl appeared. She had large brown eyes and red lips. Her hands were not small, but were well gloved, and she dressed in good style—not New York style. She held out her hand freely to the editor, and he shook it heartily and then present ed Webb. "I am just off tho steamer," ex claimed Miss Jencks in an effusive way, "and the first thing I did was to call to learn the fate of my story." There was a freshness and innocence about tho young woman that amused the editor. After a few minutes' gen eral conversation, she said: "Now tell me all about my story— are you going to print it?" The editor blushed, reflected a min ute, then said: "It is an amusing story, but, to be candid, it is hardly up to our stand ard." "In other words," she interrupted, "it isn't good enough." "Well, if you like to put it that way —yes." Miss Jencks leaned both of her dainty elbows on the table, and looked the editor straight in the eyes for a moment. "Well, ihen, is It bad enough?" The editor and writer-man exchang ed quick and significant glances. Here was an opportunity the Harvard man had not looked for, "I don't know. Perhaps If I were to put our friend, Webb here, to re vise it, he might make it bad enough." She laughed. "Well, then, what will you pay me if I let you publish it as an awful exam ple?" "One hundred dollars." "It's yours," "But oven though we publish the story with a pen name, will not somo cf your friends recognize it and so cause you mortification?" Miss Jencks chuckled sweetly. "Yon don't suppose I was fool enough to let any of my friends know I wrote a love story, do you?" The writer-man and the editor look ed at each other calmly.—New York Independent. A I'eal Prnlrie Sclinonnr. A real prairie schooner was that described by F. W. Myer of Bonney, Brazoria county, as he sat in the ro tunda of the Capitol hotel, Houston, Tex. In speaking of it he said: "You couldn't call it an automobile, but a windmoblle, because it is propelled over the prairies by the wind. A trial trip was made a couple of days ago, and it proved a decided success. It was made up of two pair of wheels, the larger pair being in front and the smaller in the rear. A board platform made the floor upon which the occu pants slood or sat. A IG-foot sail was planted in the front part of the plat form and through skilful manipula tion the vehicle was enabled to travel in any direction except straight against the wind. The prairie road over which it traveled was not an exceptionally smooth one, but fur nished a surface that enabled it to move with celerity. It carried six men on the trip. The result was so satis factory that others will be built. The speed at times was 10 or 15 miles aa hour." —Dallas News. Or I'reieml* To. Little Willie (who has an inquiring mind) —Pa, what is a sage? Mr. Henny Peck—A sage, my son, is a man who always agrees with his wife.—Judge. FOODS OF THE FILIPINO. THE CRASSHOPPER THE MOST COM MON ARTICLE OF DIET. Catching the Inttect* Prove* a Profitable | JHu*iiie** In the I'lli 1 i|iptlie*— Selli ig for Two Dollar* a Btmliel—Moth* a Dainty Dirth—'The Horrible flat m Often Eaten. ! Some interesting information may be given concerning the way in which the Filipino makes up a good dinner at low cost, writes George D. Rice. Probably the most common article of | food that would not be desired by j Americans or others than the Filipinos is the grasshopper. In these islands I the grasshoppers not only grow in great numbers, but the size of the in | sect in large. ! The mode of catching the grassliop ! pers in the Philippines is interesting. There are always two or three bell , boys stationed in the towers of the I big church of each city, town or barrio [ of the Philippine group, these boys be ing there for the purpose of sound ing the various bells. There are cer tain strokes for funerals, others for births, and at present there are sig nals for the approach of an army. These boys in the tower keep a sharp lookout for indications of the ap proach of grasshopper swarms. Dur ing the hopper season they are par ticularly active, and announce the ap proach of the swarms as soon as seen, for the grasshoppers often merely pass over a town, but usually low enough to permit the natives to catch many of I them. As soon as the bellboys see that there are some scattering grass hoppers in the air, as an advance guard to the main body, they sound j the hopper signals on the bells and hundreds of expert grasshopper catch ers v/lth their nets turn out. There are several methods used by the natives for catching grasshoppers. The most effective is the net. This is a large butterfly net, arranged with j netting placed over a hoop, and to the latter is fixed a long handle. The na tive takes this handle and with the mouth of the net toward the grasshop pers he rushes forth, bagging consider | able numbers at each run. The gras3- : hoppers always go in swarms, except the advance guard and the stragglers, and if anything occurs to disturb their flight they get confused and tumble j into bags readily or fall into the open mouths of nets. They fly so closely that they cannot well escape, as when j they turn slightly out of their course j they come into contact with other grasshoppers next to them, j Grasshopper catching is a profitable j business in the Philippines. Grasshop pers sell at $2 per sack, gold, in the larger cities of the islands, where the people do not have a chance to get tho insects in the fields. The sacks of the islands hold about a bushel. The grasshopper is a regular article in the i markets for the entire year, as after drying out the hopper can be kept in definitely. It is in the operation of drying that the grasshopper is made eatable. I never saw a native eat a green grasshopper, but I have seen them eat the dried ones by the pocket ful on the street or in company at entertainments, and by the dishful at the table at their homeß. Your corre spondent has tried the prepared grass hopper, and lias experienced no seri ous result. The hopper is first so thoroughly dried out in the heat of the sun or in the bake oven that there is nothing left that is really objection, able, and a nice, crispy article of food results. This tastes sweet of itself, and something like ginger snaps. The natives usually sweeten the grasshop pers more by using a sprinkling of brown sugar. Then the confectioners make up grasshopper with sugar, chocolate trimmings and colored cand ies in such away that a nice tasting piece of confectionery is obtained. The housewife of the Philippines takes considerable delight in placing | before you a nice grasshopper pie or | cake, the grasshopper pie is the most wonderful dish, as the big hoppers are I prepared in such away that they do I not lose their form or any of their parts. Care is taken to keep the grass hoppers intact, and they are artistical ly arranged on the top crust of the pie, while on the interior are some of the broken hoppers mixed with special foods. The grasshopper cake has the grasshoppers sprinkled through it, and resembles plum or raisin cake. In some sections of the islands the natives grind the crispy hoppers into a fine powder, and this powder is used for making articles of food, and in some places it is reduced to liquid form and taken as an article of drink. Another article of food which is rel ished by the natives is procured by col lecting large quantities of moths from the rocks of the mountainous regions. In several spots in the mountains in Panay and other islands of the south ern portion of the Philippine group I saw moths existing so thickly in the rocky tissues that they could be scraped off into buckets by the quart. The moths seemed to mass in the crev ices and there hang. One could get a barrel of the moths in a very short while. The natives have not failed to investigate the worth of the moth as an article of food, and they use the Insect in large quantities. The horrible bat of the islands, which here grows in may cases to the size of the American chicken hawk, Is also eaten in some sections of the Philippines. The best classes of na tives, however, do not care to eat the bats. The mode of catching tho bats is peculiar. The cities, towns and barrios of all of the islands of the Philippine group are quite overrun with bats, which fly through the streets at night in large numbers. They fly slowly and seem incapable of dodging articles in their path. There tore, the native takes a long pole, puts a sort of combination hooked arrange-*, rent at the top and takes position in a street, and with the pole held erect waits for bats to come along and bump into the hooked portion. As the native sees a bat coming ho plans to have the hook in its path, and a3 he moves the pole, so as to bring the hook into contact with the head of the bat, the latter usually strikes it with j a bang and drops to the earth stunned, ] when the native proceeds to promptly put the bat to death. After standing j in his position for an hour or more, I the native has a little pile of bats at I his feet. These he takes to the market I the next day and receives about two cents each for them. The bats are eaten only in small part. The wings, I head, and. in fact, all but a small por tion of each side is thrown to waste. — Scientific American. ECCENTRIC CHRISTENING CIFTS. How a Bachelor Helative l'ai