IMHIIK
Report Says It Will End In an
lowa Wedding.
A GIRL'S DAY DREAMING-
An Egg With a Young Lady's Name
on it Sent to Cuba—The Reply—
Letters Followed Fast and Furious
—A Furlough.
A unique romnnee. Involving the co
lonial policy of the United States, the
lowa hen and a romantic and pretty
girl lias Just developed In Fort Dodge,
la., says the Philadelphia Press.
The incident also tells the story of
how trade follows the flag and how
closely recent events have served to
link the commerce and human interest
of the Far West with the same lines
in the Far Fast.
Fort Dodge lias become the acknowl
edged headquarters of the egg and
poultry business for the West, many
train loads of live and dressed poultry
and hundreds of thousands of dozens
of eggs being shipped annually to the
Eastern mar kits.
During the shipping season in the
summer months large forces of girls
are employed handling eggs taken
from pickling vats in the A. It. Loomis
egg house preparatory to shipment.
One of the girls selected a large,
smooth egg, and in a moment of ro
mance and day dreaming wrote her
name and address upon it with an In
delible pencil.
It was placed in case with 277
others and shipped to New York,
where it found its way to the ware
house of an exporter and was one of
the first shipments of American eggs
made to Cuba. Weeks slipped into
mouths, ami the young lady forgot
her romantic dreams of summer days
and egg shells, but the maiden's mes
sage was working out her destiny.
Early in December she received a
letter which bore the postmark of
(initios, Cuba. On the upper right
hand corner of the envelope were tlie
words, "Official business." These
were carefully canceled, and in the
regulation place was a maroon-colored
stamp. On opening It she found the
following letter enclosed:
" United States Signal Corps—Tele
graph Office, Gulnes, Cuba. December
14, 18110. Miss Lizzie Gllay, Fort
Dodge, la.: 1 am sure you had no idea
iulo whose hands and to what distant
lands tile egg upon which you wrote
your name would go. If came to me
with a lnrgc shipment from the Unit
ed States, and was purclinsed by a
Cuban merchant here, who, being un
abl6 to read English, brought it to me
for translation. 1 would be very glad
to have you answer this letter, us I
am curious to know the one who
adopted so novel a method of corre
spondence. I have n camera, and
have had a snap-sliot taken of myself
with the egg hi my hand. If you care
for one of the pictures let me hear
from you. Very truly, Charles Percy
Smith, Gulnes, Cuba."
This letter was promptly answered
witli a request for the picture, which
arrived in due time with another let
ter, in which Mr. Smith'gave a more
detailed personal account of himself.
In tills letter Mr. Hmitli says:
"1 am in the employ of the United
States Signal Corps, and have charge
of the otiice at tills place. I like it
here very much* indeed. It is nice
and healthy and the people treat you
well. They think an American is u
small god. Now, please answer this
letter soyn, and after we become n
little better acquainted I will write
you a more interesting letter thau I
can now."
Letters followed fast, If not furious,
but the communications were of such
a nature that the publle Is not entitled
to their contents..
Sufficient to relate that the results
have been so satisfactory that a re
cent letter from the Cuban isle inti
mates that Mr Smith will soon secure
a leave of absence from his govern
mental duties, and his vacation will
be spent In lowa.
Sawyer's Charity Limit.
The deutli of former-Senator Sawyer
brings to mind a story told of liiin by
a friend of his in Washington. Saw
yer was a very generous giver of char
ity, and of presents which neither lie
nor tin- beneficiary would have cared
to denominate as charity, though the
gifts amounted to much the same,
says the Philadelphia Bulletin, lie
told ids friend one day that he was
going to turn over a new lear and try
to keep his donations down to a limit
that would not exceed 91,000 a month.
Three months after lie had announced
tills resolution, ids friend asked how
he laid made out.
"I started out pretty well," he re
plied, "and If 1 hadn't given an old
friend of mine in Wisconsin who had
struck hard luck SIO,OOO last month
I think I should have kept within the
limit!"
British Colonies.
Great Britain lias three general
classes of colonies. Those controlled
entirely by the home government are
crown colonies, and their funds anil
laws are managed by the administra
tion, which does as it pleases. A sec
ond clnss lias what is called represen
tative government. In such the crown
retains the veto power and controls
the public officers. Those of the third
clnss have responsible government. In
such colonies the crown lias no con
trol over any public officer except flint
it appoints the governor and retains
its veto on legislation.
A PLAGUE OF RATS.
Where Cats Are Unable to Keep the
Rodents Within Bounds.
In Paris there are low streets near
the river, where the inhabitants are
afraid to allow their children to cross
the garden or the courtyard after
dark, says the Philadelphia Inquirer.
Tile central markets are infested to
sucji an extent that rat hunting lias'
been abandoned in despair. As soon
as dark sets in armies of rats attack
the reserve provisions, to which tliey
have burrowed their way beneath the
masonry.
A singular detail is that the cats,
which are very numerous at the mar
ket, live on the best terms with the
rats. They can be seen trotting about
together. The city cat lias lost Its
reputation in Paris. lie or she still
enjoys killing the mouse, but with
oilier food to hand a rat has become
rather large game from the feline
point of view. For this reason the
Budget Commission suppressed tills
year the credits for the cats kept in
the store houses of the Ministry of
War.
The cat as an official Is now only
to be found nt the Ministry of Fi
nance nnd the Council of State. No
decision lias yet been come to by the
authorities as to liow the rnt plague
is to be got rid of. though poisons with
instantaneous effects, which have the
additional advantage of mummifying
tile body, are favorably regarded. The
system, however, has the disadvant
age of making poison too readily ob
tainable.
Dr. Thiery mentions four terriers
belonging to M. Girnrd, Chief of the
Municipal Laboratory, which are ex
cellent rat catchers. They have
cleared the cellars of the Perfecture
of Police from the vermin, and have
strayed along the sewers as far as
Bercy, two miles from home, killing
large numbers of rats on the way.
M. Gtrard's favorite terrier can break
instantaneously the back of a rat
weighing one and one-lialf pounds.
On Aeheres Plain rats estimated to
be 10,000 in number have been seen
nt once on two acres of ground plant
ed with beet root.
A NEW BRAKE.
It Strikes the Ground Instead of the
Wagon Rim.
A novel idea in braking that is at
tracting a great deal of attention re
cently at least among inventors, is the
application of the braking power In
railway service to the rails, instead of
to the wheels,, and now an Ohio man
lias patented a scheme for applying
the same principle to ordinary ve
hicles. In his arrangement the brak
ing power, or friction, is applied di
rectly to the ground, through the
medium of a braking shoe, the under
side of which Is serrated, so as the
(Ground Brake.)
better to engage with the ground or
pavement, as the case may lie. It is
claimed that when wheels are locked
with the ordinary tire applied brake
shoe they slide along the ground or
rail, thereby wearing out the tire In
spols, producing rapid deterioration,
and, therefore, requiring repeated re-'
newal. In the ground applied brake
the braking shoe is the only part on
which the wear and tear comes, aside
from the roadway, but It Is doubtful
if the disadvantages of the device do
not outweigh lis slight advantages.
In the design here shown it is thrown
into and opt of operation by a lever,
which is maintained In an inoperative
position by means of a spring. The
instant the pressure on the handle is
removed the drag springs back out of
contact with the ground.
Continuous Warfare in Corsica.
No one knows when the first blood
feud began in Corsica, or when the
first brigand set up shop. Nor can
any one tell when the last will put up
his shutters. Even in the time of the
Romans the inhabitants were too busy
fighting one another to care whether
a foreign garrison was left on the
Island or not. But not a day goes by
without several lives being sacrificed
in the cause of some.vendetta, and us
each life means the sacrifice in atone
ment for nt least two more, there is
to-day hardly one Corsican whose life
is not wanted by a fellow countryman.
—New i'oi'k Telegram.
The Excavation of Ur.
An expedition is now being formed
to excavate Ur, and it will be under
the direction of Dr. K. J. Bunks, who
was recently United Stntes consul nt
Bagdad. The work will be undertak
en for the benefit of the Smithsonian
Institution. Ur is half way between
the ruins of Babylon nnd the Persian
Gulf, says the Outlook, and is six
miles south of the River Euphrates.—
Chicago Record.
Pa— My Bon we must never put
off till to-morrow what wa can do to
day.
Willie—Well, then, Pa, let's finish
up that mince pie.—Philadelphia Re
cord.
SUPPED WITH AN ARAB.
UNUSUAL TREAT OF SOME AM
ERICAN WOMEN IN EGYPT.
No Forks, No Dishes, No Chairs, No
Lights But the Moon—The Fare
Good if Not Quite Comprehensible
—Washed After Each Course.
Egypt is a place where woman, visit
ing woman, that is, has some extra
perquisites. Supping In the bosom of
nn Arab family is one of them. If the
tourist Is on good terms with some
dragoman, and Is willing to loosen her
purse strings a little, she ought to
manage an Invitntioii to one of these
little suppers without much trouble.
We went more than four hundred
miles up the Nile and tasted Joy and
a dozen other even more unfamiliar
flavors at Luxor. We felt noue the
worse for It, either, except perhaps a
stiffness of the knees, none of us hav
ing been brought up to it tallorwise.
Luxor is a hideous Arab village,
squatted on a small part of the ancient
site of Thebes. The houses are roof
less, rambling huts of Nile mud, with
queer round turrets for the storing of
grain. Most of the inhabitants are
squalid and dirty.
It doesn't sound inviting, and we
defy contradiction when we say that
It doesn't look inviting. Our drago
man, whom we will call Hassan be
cause that was not lits name, was
about twenty years old, and could
speak English.
The supper was arranged to come
nn a certain evening, and about (>
o'clock Hassan piloted us from the ho
tel through a labyrinth of lanes to his
house. Hasson summoned his female
relatives, consisting of quite a collec
tion of sisters, sisters-in-law, and an
aunt or two.
The Arabs evidently think that stars
were made before lamps. Later, when
tlie moon climbed up and looked over
the mud wall at us, we were glad that
the lighting of the feast had been left
to nature. Instead of bringing In the
lamps which we expected Hassan
brought In un immense brass tray,
which he placed on folding supports.
It wasn't more than two feet high, this
dining table, but with considerable
cracking of Joints we sat down 011 the
cushions which the female relatives
placed for us. One sister sat down
with us, so that we were five at the
table. The female relations, with the
exception of the sister who ate with
us, retired to the kitchen to accomplish
the supper. Hassan, rid of his dusty
outer garments, served the meal.
First he brought napkins, and then
he brought in one hand a brass bowl,
in the other a brass pitcher of warm
water. We held our hands in turn
over the bowl and Hassan poured the
water over them, after which we dried
them on our napkins and wondered
what would come next. What did conic
was so much like what, it would have
been at home that we had a bud mo
ment. It was a sort of bouillon, but
was served in brass cutis instead of
cliinn ones. The resemblance to sou
venir luncheons ended there.
Hassan soon appeared with the sec
ond course. It was a big bowl of rice,
and was deposited in the middle of the
table, while a large piece of bread was
placed in front of each of us. Not be
ing up in Arab etiquette, we observed
a discreet inactivity. We expected
plates, but were in doubt whether they
would be accompanied by knives, forks
or spoons. Our hostess solved our
doubts by taking a handful of rice
from the bowl and putting It in the
hand of her next neighbor. Having
Btted each of us with a sticky fistful,
she took one herself, and we all fell to.
Much to our relief, Hassan brought
the bowl and pitcher round again lifter
the rice episode, and we had a good
wash and felt better. Tho female rela
tives had not put in an appearance for
quite a while, nnd when the next
Course arrived we knew it was because
they had boon too busy. Hassan
brought live howls tills time, and set
them down In a steaming circle before
us. More discreet inactivity on our
part, broken again by the hostess tak
ing from one of the dishes various
chicken joints and puttng them into
our bands. Ry this time we had given
up any foolish fancy relative to plates
and knives and forks.
The stuff certainly was good. There
was one dish of chicken cooked some
thing after the style of a fricassee.
There was a dish of pigeons. There
was a dish of veal fried with some
thing which defied Hassan's limited
vocabulary, and must, therefore, be
nameless. There was a cooked vegeta
ble which was something like celery,
but wasn't celery. And linally there
was a stew whose ingredients we fore
bore to ask, for it tasted very good,
and we dldn'l want to lose our appe
tite for It. Everything was seasoned,
well cooked, and so good that we all
joined the hostess In wiping up. with
pieces of bread, the hits which re
mained In the bowls and eating them
with final demonstrations of satisfac
tion. The skill displayed by the party
after the first attempt led to mutual
accusations of "previous experience in
"sopping."
Another wash-up (which was mpcli
needed) followed this joyous episode of
the bowls. Then Hassan brought on a
dish of dates stuffed with walnuts.
This gave us another shock ii was so
familiar, but we bore up and did great
execution. So we said "Hood"' and
"Fine!" and "Very nice" <u.i all the
Other short words of pni. - that we
eould think of. And w n id. d onr
heads and the officiating ■ • i dded
hers, and we eould vaguely uiu' ■ oul
the female relatives nodding theirs
back 111 the shadow. It wn in aw
fullj lovely party."—Miss 1. IS. .V la
Bns,
THE IMPOSSIBLE.
The Controversy Stopped Because the
Other Man Was Speechless.
"Just Imagine! If you were a flea
you could Jump 200 miles at a single
jump."
"But I am not a flea."
"I didn't say you were, I said if you
were."
"But you Implied that I might be."
"Not at all. In estimating the rela
tive strength of a flea as compared to
man, I said that one of your size
could jump 200 miles."
"Nothing of the sort, sir. l'ou dis
tinctly spoke of me as a flea."
"llow absurd! I merely inferred that
suppose you were a flea."
"Do I look like a flea?"
"Why, no, sir, certainly not."
/ "Have I the arms, lfcgs, proboscis,
anatomy of a flea?"
"Who said you did?"
"You did, sir!"
"I didn't!"
"You did!"
"Well, sir, I am sorry, I apologize."
"You admit, then, that you did refer
to me as a flea?"
"Why, no, I don't."
"Sut you have just apologized."
"Well, well, let it go. I said you
were a flea. I apologize. I am sorry.
I was wrong."
"Good! You were wise. I am no flea,
sir."
"Of course not. Utterly removed
from a flea. You couldn't be one if
you tried! Impossible!"
"Impossible, sir! For me, sir? llow
impossible?"
"Yes, sir, exactly, sir. now could
an ass be a flea, sir."—Life.
Evils of Good Advice.
"Say," said the man with the wor
ried look, "do you remember giving
me a lot of advice on how to conduct
my love affairs about two months
ago?"
"Yes," replied the man with the
wise expression.
"Told me if I wanted to win the
girl I should make love to her moth
er!"
"Uh-huh."
"Said if I could get the old lady on
my side all I had to do was to toddle
around with a ring and say, 'when?'
to the girl."
The wise man nodded.
"Said for me to compliment the
mother on her youthful appearance,"
continued the worried man, "and give
her a jolly about how sad it was that
the young ladies of the present day
were not to be compared with those
of the past?"
"Yes. Yes. You won the girl, I
suppose?"
"Yes, 1 did—not. The old lady has
sued her husband for divorce, and me
for breach of promise."—Baltimore
American. v
H. R. H. Queen Victoria.
Caught.
Rich Widow—Despite our short ac
quaintance luid the fact thnt my youlh
has flown you still make this proposal
of marriage to me, doctor?
Doctor—You have made on my heart
an impression that time cnn never—
Widow (coldly)—H—m, and I hud al
ways believed you were able to live by
your practice.—New York World.
Civilization.
"You are scarcely half civilized!" we
said reproachfully.
The natives burst Into tears.
"Pity our misfortune!" they cried.
"For our gold mines yield only low
grade ore!"
Then they turned their streaming
eyes toward tlie hills, whence a mere
handful of Anglo-Saxons were shelling
them perfunctorily.—Detroit Journal.
Discovered a Prize.
First Business Man—l have a gem
of an office boy.
Second Business Man —Why, I
thought you said he was so stupid?
First Business Man—So he is, but J
now that the baseball season has open
ed, I've discovered that he has no
living relatives, so he can t ask to get
off for funerals.—Philadelphia Record.
The Work Cure.
"The healthy brother supported the
Invalid brother for years and years
and years, and then the healthy broth
er died."
"What became of the poor Invalid i
brother?"
"Oh, he had to get well and go to
work."
Right in Their Line.
Hoax—These messenger boys are ]
the lowest creatures on earth. I won- {
der what becomes of them when they
grow up.
Joax—Maybe they become chess
players—Philadelphia Record.
Their Relation.
Asklngton—Do you know Gabbleby?
Teller—Well, I have a listening ac
quaintance with him.
j THE SPELLING-BEE AT ANGEL'S.
! " For Instance, take some simple
word," sez he, "like 'separate';
Now, who can spell it?" Dog my skin
ef thar was one in eight!
This set the boys all wild at once. The
chairs was put In row.
And at the head was Lanky Jim, and
at the foot was Joe.
And high upon the bar Itself the
schoolmaster was raised.
And the barkeep put his glasses down
and sat and silent gazed.
Oh, little kids, my pretty kids, 'twas
touchin' to survey
These bearded men, with weppings
on, like schoolboys at their play.
They'd laugh with glee and shout to
see each other lead the van,
And Bob sat up as monitor with a cue
for a rattan,
; Till the chair gave out "incinerate,"
and Brown said he'd be durned
school was ever learned.
J When "phthisis" came they ail sprang
up and vowed the man who rung
Another blamed Greek word on them
he taken out and hung.
As they sat down again I saw in Bll
son's eye a flash,
And Brown of Calaveras was a-twist
in' his mustache.
And when at last Brown slipped on
"gneiss," and Bilson took his chair,
He dropped some casual words about
j some folks who died their hair.
And then the chair grew very white,
and the chair said he'd adjourn,
| But Poker Dick remarked that he
would wait and-get his turn;
Then with a tremblin' voice and hand,
and with a wanderin' eye,
The chair next offered "eider-duck,"
and Dick began with "i,"
j And Biison smiled —then Bilson
shrieked! Just how the fight
begun
I never knowed, for Bilson dropped,
and Dick, he moved up one.
—Bret Harte.
BOYS.
Now, if any one has an easy time
In this world of push and pub,
It is not the boy of the family,
i For his hands are always full.
I'd like to ask, who fills the stove?
j Where is the girl that could?
Who brings in water, who lights the
fire,
| And splits the kindling wood?
And who is it that cleans the walks
! After hours of snowing?
In summer who keeps down the weeds
By diligent hoeing?
And who must harness the faithful
horse
' When the girls would ride about?
And who must clean the carriage off?
The boy, you'll own, no doubt.
And who does the many other things
Too numerous to mention?
The boy is the "general utility man,"
And really deserves a pension!
Friends, just praise the boy sometimes.
When he does his very best,
Artd don't always want the easy chair
j When he's taking a little rest.
Don't let him always be the last
To see the new magazine;
And sometimes let the boy be heard,
As well as to be seen,
j That boys are far from perfect
Is understood by all;
But they have hearts, remember,
For "men are boys grown tall."
And when a boy has been working
His level best for days.
It does him good, I tell you.
To have some hearty praise!
He is not merely a combination
I Of muddy boots and noise,
And he iikes to be looked upon
As one of the family Joys.
MORNING GOSSIP.
If you were a Gibson girl
And I were a Davis man,
And the world were made for our
special use,
And run on our special plan;
If the dangers were only to show us
| off,
To give us a chance to pose—
We would stalk through life like a
king and a queen,
And tread on the necks of our foes.
If you were a Gibson girl
And I were a Davis man,
And you uttered a wish for the pleas
ure dome
In the kingdom of Kubla Khan—
I would sail away to that distant
realm.
And stir up a war or two,
But I'm bring you the dome on the
top of my head,
And I'd cut up its Ice for you.
If you were a Gldson girl
And I were a Davis man,
You'd sit with a far away, pensive
look
While the course of our serial ran,
Disdainful of all but my glorious self,
For I should be seven feet tail-
But I'd marry your little kid sister
last,
Who was not to come out at the fall.
—William Wallace Whitlock.
OLD-TIME LOVE SONG.
If nil the laurel wreaths of fame
Were twined for my unworthy head,
What were they worth unless you
came
To see your lover garlanded? /
/
If all the sovereignty of earth
In one sole scepter wooed my grasp,
What would its heavy gold be worth
Unless your hand were mine to
clasp?
If all the roses summer knows
By pleasure's hand were plucked and
strown,
Should I raise up one single rose
If I must drink Its scent alone?
There is no kingdom but your heart.
There Is no laurel hut your praise.
The rose is but your counterpart, '
You dear delight of all my days.
Yet would I had the scepter gold.
The laurel line, the roses rare;
The scepter for your hands to hold.
The rose and laurel for your hair!
—Pall Mall Gazette.
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Besides all the
V
local news, the Tri
bune gives the news
of the world in a con
densed form.
Thus the busy
workman can keep in
formed as to what is
going on in the world
without buying any
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The Tribune is
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per for the home cir
cle. You can read it
yourself and then turn
it over to your chil
dren without fear of
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jectionable into their
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Order It
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