Freeland Tribune
Established 1888.
PUBLISHED EVERY
MONDAY AND THURSDAY,,
BY TBI
fRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY, limited
OFFICE: MAIS STBEKT ABOTE CKXTBE.
FREELAND, PA.
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A distinguished authority was
asked, the other day, what was the
proper number of a good working
committee. The reply was: "Three—
if one is sick and another canno*
come." That must not be regarde- 1
as aa example of oue raau power, be
cause the author of the statement was
Clarra Barton, who has exemplified it
moTe thau once.
"Quart* at Dawsou" will not be as
attractive a cry to the prospector as it
would have been over a year ago.
Since that time Uncle Sam has found
the (Jape Nome gold fields, on his own
side of the line, and the population
of the Yukon Territory has gone mer
rily down. Dawsou needs more men
and cheaper labor, aud hence a new
crop of "mother-lode" reports.
A critical rather than a confident
attitude toward immediate if not final
results rhould mark American think
ing. Lord Roberts has been a great
soldier, but is not a young man. Von
Moltke was the only old man who has
proved himself a great soldier—unless
it be J "bert—in modern times. Our
own Scott was retired for the ineffi
ciency of age at the outbreak of our
civi! war. The Duke of Cambridge
ceased to be commander-in-chief of
the armies of Great Britain because
of his years. The dignified marshals
of the Third Empire failed France in
her contest with Germany.
It will be a good day for the country
when there grows up an assumption
that the politician is naturally high
minded, though conditions may at
times cause him to act questionably,
aud that, treed from those conditions,
his natural moral resilieucy will cause
him to soar, observes the New York
Commercial Advertiser. Under a
high moral public seutimeut it is
easier for men to be good than to be
bad. lu private life many a man leaves
certain things undone, while commit
tiug other greater sius because some
are what a geutle nan would not do,
aud the others the sin of the gentle
man. Thus any advance in jrublic or
political standard is hailed as a bene
fit. 110 matter what its immediate mo
tive.
The naming of postoffices after mil
itary heroes has been a fad siuce tbe
outbreak of tbe Spanish war, aud is
now beginning to die out; but after
Deweys, Roosevelts, Schleys and
Shatters had dotted the Union, a flip
pant Texas town with an admiration
for the Rough Riders turned up a
short time ago with a request that its
postoftice be named "Teddy," which,
after due deliberation, was done. On
the same day a postoffice in Georgia
varied the usual procedure of securing
the names of the great and good by
naming itself Qnilp. The flippancy
with which some towns brand them
selves with opprobrious names is il
lustrated by Twobit, 8. D. Tbe town
is probably worth " ore thau that.
Some of the names, however, evince a
lively and poetic fancy, as Blue Ash,
Ohio; Bonny Doou, Cab, and Gallant
Green. Md.
Trlt *©u Peter the (treat.
Peter the Great was once very neatly
caught In a trap by a jester attached
to the court. The jester was noted for
nis cleverness in geting himself and
his friends out of difficulties. It hap
pened one day that a cousin of his
had incurred the czar's displeasure, and
was about to be executed. The jester,
therefore, presented himself before his
imperial master to beg for his reprieve.
On seeing him approach the czar, di
vining his errand, cried: "It is no good
to come here; I swear I will not grant
what you are going to ask." Immedi
ately the jester went down on his
knees, saying: "I beseech your im
perial highness to put that scamp
cousin of mine to death." The czar,
thus caught in his own tran, coiiß'
only laugh and pardon the condemned
man,
Slnflntllou of Itric-ii-HrttCt
Little Dick —Uncle Richard, what is
bric-a-brac? Uncle Richard—Bric-a
brac 13 anything you knock over and
break when you are feeling foi
matches in the dark.—Puck
Wild boars still abound in some parts
Of Morocco, one hunting party having
lately killed over 100 in one week.
PRISONER OF WAR.
"No rent again this month? This Is
the third time It has happened within
the half-year. I'll go there myself and
get the money, or I'll know the reason
why."
I Matthew Dcane was In particularly
' bad humor this raw December morn
ing. Everything had gone wrong.
Stocks had fallen when they ought to
have risen—his clerk had tipped over
the inkstand on his special and pecul
| iar heap of paper—the fire obstinate-
I ly refused to burn In the grate—ln
i short, nothing went right, and Mr.
1 Deane was consequently aud eorre-
spondingly cross.
| "Jenkins!"
"Yes, sir."
"Go to the Widow Clarkson's, and
tell her I shall be there in half an hour
ajid expect confidently—mind, Jenkins
( —confidently to receive that rent
money. Or I shall feel myself obliged
to resort to extreme measures. You
understand, Jenkins?"
"Certainly, sir."
' "Then don't stand there starin' like
an idiot," snarled Mr. Deane, in a
sudden burst of irritation, and Jenkins
, disappeared like a shot.
Just half an hour afterward Mat
thew Deane brushed the brown hair
Just sprinkled with gray from his
square yet no unkindly brow. Put
ting on his fur-lined overcoat he
walked into the chilly winter air fully
determined, figuratively, to annihilate
the defaulting Widow Clarkson.
It was a dwarfish little red brick
house which appeared originally to
have aspired to two-storyhood lot,
but cramped by circumstances, had
settled down into a story and a half,
but the windows shone like Brazilian
pebbles, and the doorsteps were worn
by much scouring. Neither of these
circumstances, however, did Mr. Deane
remark as he pulled the glittering
brass doorknob and strode into Mrs.
Clarkson's neat parlor.
There was a small fire—very small,
as if every lump of anthracite was
1 hoarded in the stove, and at a table
with writing implements before her sat
a young lady whom Mr. Deane at once
recognized as Mrs. Clarkson's niece.
Miss Olive Mellen. She was not dis
agreeable to look upon, though you
AUNT."
would never have thought of classing 1
her among the beauties, with shining
black hair, blue, long-lashed eyes, and
a very pretty mouth, hiding teeth like
rice kernels, so white were they.
Miss Mellen rose with a polite nod,
which was grimly reciprocated by Mr.
Deane.
"1 have called to see your aunt, Miss
Mellen."
"I know it, sir, but as I am aware of
her timid temperament, I sent her
away. 1 prefer to deal with you my
self."
Mr. Deane started—the cool audacity
of the damsel in gray, with scarlet
ribuons in her hair, rather astonished
him.
"I suppose the money is ready?"
"No, sir. It is not."
"Then, Miss Olive, pardon me, I must
speak plainly. I shall send an officer
here this afternoon to put a valuation
on the furniture, and "
"You will do nothing of the kind,
sir."
Olive's cheek had reddened and her
eyes flashed portentously. Mr. Deane
turned toward the door, but ere he
knew what she was doing, Oltve had
walked quietly across the room, locked
the door, and taken out the key—then
she resumed her seat.
"What does this mean?" ejaculated
the astonished "prisoner of war."
"It means, sir, that you will now be
obliged to consider the question," said
Olive.
"Obliged?"
"Yes—you will hardly Jump out of
the window, and there is no other
method of egress unless you choose to
go up the chimney. Now, then, Mr.
Deane, will you tell mo if you—a Chris
tian man in the nineteenth century—
intend to sell a poor widow's furniture
because she is not able to pay your
rent? Listen, sir!"
Mr. Deane opened his mouth to re
monstrate,but Olive enforced her words
with a very emphatic little stamp of
the foot, and lie was, as it were,
stricken dumb.
"You arc what the world calls a
rich man, Mr. Deane. You own rows
of houses, piles of hank stock, railroad
shares, bonds and mortgages—who
knows what? My aunt has nothing; I
support her by copying. Now, if this
cSse be carried into a court of law, my
poor ailing aunt will he a sufferer—
you would emerge unscathed and prof
iting. You aro not a had man, Mr.
Deane; you have a great many noble
qualities, and I like you for them."
She paused an instant and looked in
tently and gravely at Mr. Deane. The
color rose to his cheek —it was not dis
agreeable to be told by a pretty young
girl that she liked him. on any terms;
yet she had indulged in pretty plain
speaking. "I have heard," she went
on, "of your doing kind actions when
you were in the humor of It. You can
do them, and you sball In this instance.
You are cross this morning—you know
you are! Hush! no excuse; you are
selfish and irritable and overbearing.
If 1 were your mother, and you a lit
tle boy, I should certainly put you In
a corner until you promised to be
good."
Mr. Deane smiled, although he was
getting angry. Olive went on with the
utmost composure.
"But as it is, I shall only keep you
here a prisoner until you have behaved,
and given me your word not to annoy
my aunt again for rent until she is able
to pay you. Then, and not until then,
will you receive your money. Do you
promise? Yes or no?"
"I eertainiy shall agree to no such
terms," said Mr. Deane, tartly.
"Very well, sir; I can wait."
Miss Mellen deposited the key in the
pocket of her gray dress and sat down
to her copying. Had she been a man,
Mr. Deane would probably have
knocked her down; as It was, she wore
an Invisible armor of power in the very
fact that she was a fragile, slight
woman, and she knew it.
"Miss Olive," he said, sternly, "let
us terminate this mummery. Unlock
that door!"
"Mr. Deane, I will not!"
"I shall shout and alarm the neigh
borhood, then, or call a policeman."
"Very well, Mr. Deane; do so, if you
please."
She dipped her pen in the ink and
began on a fresh page. Matthew sat
down, puzzled and discomfited, and
watched the long-lashed eyes and
faintly tinged cheek of his keeper. She
was very pretty—what a pity she was
so obstinate!
"Miss Olive!"
"Sir?"
"The clock has just struck 12."
"I heard it."
"I should like to go out and get some
lunch."
"I am sorry that that luxury Is out
of your power."
"But I'm confounded hungry."
"Are you?"
"And I'm not gotng to stand this
sort of thing any longer."
"No?"
How provokingly nonchalant she
was. Mr. Deane eyed the pocket of the
gray dress greedily, and walked up
and down the room pettishly.
"I have an appointment at 1."
"Indeed! What a pity you will be un
able to keep it!"
He took another turn across the
room. Olive looked up with a smile.
"Well, are you ready to promise?"
"Hang it, yes! What else can 1
do?"
"You promise?"
"I do, because I can't help myself."
Olive drew the key from her pocket
with softened eyes.
"You have made me very happy, Mr.
Deane. I dare say you think me un
womanly and unfeminine, but indeed
you do not know to what extremities
we are driven by poverty. Good-morn
ing, sir."
Mr. Deane sallied forth with a curi
ous complication of thoughts and emo
tions struggling through his brain, in
which gray dresses, long-lashed blue
eyes and scarlet ribbons played a
prominent part.
"Did you get the money, sir?" asked
the clerk, when he walked into the of
fice.
"Mind your business, sir," was the
tart response.
"I pity her husband," thought Mr.
Deane, as he turned the papers over
on his desk. "How she will henpeck
him! By the way, I wonder who her
husband will be?"
The next day he called at the Widow
Clarkson's to assure Miss Mellen that
he had no, Idea of breaking his prom
ise, and the next but one after that ho
came to tell the young lady she need
entertain no doubt of his integrity.
And the next week he dropped in on
them with no particular errand to
serve as an excuse!
"When shall we be married, Olive?
Next month, dearest? Do not let us
put It off later."
"I have no wishes but yours, Mat
thew."
"Really, Miss Olive Mellen, to hear
that meek tone one would suppose you
had never locked me up here and tyr
annized over me as a jailer."
Olive burst into a merry laugh.
"You dear old Matthew; I give you
warning beforehand that I mean to
have my own way in everything. Do
you wish to recede from your bargain?
It is not too late yet."
No, Matthew Deane didn't; he had
a vague idea that it would be very
pleasant to be henpecked by Olive!
Very Definite.
Mrs. Sewell, who is the head of a
classical school for girls in Indianap
olis, could contribute a readable sequel
to English as she is taught, for the
pupils in a girls' classical school are
not above the amusing blunders whicn
characterize the efforts of their young
sisters in the public schools. On one
occasion Mrs. Sewell was instructing
a class in physics. Force was the sub
ject, and she made plain to the girls
the difference between centrifugal and
centripetal force. "Centrifugal," said
Mrs. Sewell, "is a force whose direction
is from the center and centripetal is a
force whose direction is toward the
center. Do you all understand that?"
Tlie class chorused assent.. "Now, will
some girl give me an illustration?"
continued Mrs. Sewell. "Tbe domestic
virtues are centripetal," replied a small
girl, "because they keep a man in the
center of his home, and a centrifugal
force is—is —well, a saloon is a centri
fugal force."—Philadelphia Post.
lii h Trying Position.
She (in affright)—"Oh, Tom, why
do you make such awful faces at me?"
He (contritely)—"l can't help it, dear.
My eyeglasses are falling ofT and 1
don't want to let go of your hands."—
Stray Stories.
1 WOMAN'S WORLD. |
FARMING FOR WOMEN.
How Our Bnglish Slater* Are Becoming
Scientific Agriculturists.
■ The "advanced" English woman does
not hesitate to carry out many kinds
i of work, which are not yet popular
with her American sisters. Among
other things she not only farmß with
a vim and energy very astonishing to
non-English women, but she regular
ly and scientifically qualifies herself
for farming by a course at one of the
; agricultural colleges for women, which
' thrive in England. The best and
' most favorably known of these, per
j haps, is the Lady Warwick Hostel at
Heading. The Countess of Worwiok,
formerly Lady Brooke, and the
\ "Babbling Brooke" of semifaoetious
London swelldom, stands at the head
of this institution, and also edits the
Woman's Agricultural Times, the
monthly magazine published by the
! college authorities. "Practical Hor
; tieulture for Women," "Bee-keeping
! for Women," and "The Keeping of
j Milch Goats as an Occupation for
| Women," were among the subjeots
treated in a recent number of this
I periodical, and the manner of treat
i meut was extremely plain and praoti
j cal in each case. The linen indus
tries, poultry culture and keeping,
and the work of the various techical
schools for women, whioh are under
the special patronage of the Princess
of Wales, also occupy much space in
most numbers. The whole tone of
the magazine is one of study and ser
iousness, even the jokes and witticisms
whioh adorn its oolumns occasionally
are solemn, and have an agricultural
flavor.
The students at the agricultural
| colleges come from almost all grades
and ranks of society, and the educa
tion provided for them is both thor
ough and varied. All about flower,
fruit and vegetable growing, butter
and cheese making, mushroom, bee
and tomato culture they .learn, and
they must be well up in both theory
and practioe before they are entitled
to the oollege certificate. A large
majority of the graduates devote
themselves to specialties of various
kinds, it is said, and the masculine
farmers of England are rapidly learn
ing to respect both their learning and
prowess, and to regard them as for
midable rivals.
The cost of taking a thorough course
at one of these agricultural colleges,
with board or "residence," ranges
from 8350 and upward for eaoh year,
and the length of time spent in study
varies according to the quickness and
capabilities of the students themselves,
as well as of the number and intricacies
of the brauohes undertaken. The
roster of students is usually a gen
erous one, and occasionally applicants
are obliged to wait some time before
arrangements for their matriculation
can be mada.
The students, according to the pub
lio announcements sent out by the
oollege, are not expected to perform
the heaviest or laborer's work upon
the oollege lands, which are theirs to
experiment upon under proper direc
tion, but it would seem from a report
laiely published by the warden of the
Lady Warwick Hostel, Miss Edith
Bradley, that at this establishment at
least the students, all of them women,
do "till the ground" literally as well
as metaphorically.
"Since the term ended in the last
days of June," says this personage,
"our regular students have been leav
ing in small detachments, as the weeks
of the praotioal work caine to an end.
The last to go were some four or five
who were intrusted with the making
of an outdoor mushroom bed. Turning
the manure occupied three weeks, and
then the spawning could not be done
until the proper temperature was
reached. A oareful record will be
kept of the time and expense incurred
in making this bed, whioh will be
put against the amount realized by
the sale of the mushrooms. In this
way the students will gain praotical
experience in one of the most profit
able of the lighter branohes of agricul
ture, with a view to specializing in it
later."
Commonplace People.
A woman who entertains a great
deal tells me that she is heart, brain,
nerve and soul weary of clever people,
and she longs to know somebody who
neither writes, sing®, recites, toots,
fiddles, nor even has ideas. She even
proposes a toast to the stupid people
who do not intrude, and to those who,
while not stupid, often pretend they
are, for the sake of the quiet and
peace they know you will appreciate.
Cleverness runs in families nowadays.
Even the household baby is hauled
out at deadly night hours to do his
little turn, and the grandmother of
the family is clever. Ah, a rare and
satisfying person to meet is the
family woman who is not clever; who
makes no pretensions to cleverness;
who has not prepared a paper on any
of the burning questions of the hour.
For tho sake of the workers in the
groat world downtown, let me quaff
tho cup to the health of tho woman
who is satisfied to stay at home and
mend tho stockings, and make pie
and doughnuts and jelly-cake—make
anything, in fact, provided she is cou
tented while she is doing it. Frobablv
she doesn't talk a great deal, and
doesn't mind if you do not, and
doesn't, cherish it up against you if
you do not hear what she is saying,
even if you seem to be listening and
are looking right at her. What a
dear, restful soul she is! She knows
good old tried-and-true remedies for
ailments, and she doesn't even ask
whether you want, speciiics for your
ills or not, but she just claps them
on, or pours them in, aud bustles
•roand and bangs up things, an/ tells
yon that you'll be better In tne morn
ing, and sure enough you are, deal
unselfish prophet that she is!— Ha
rper's Bazar.
Cording !• Uned on All Accessories,
Cording is a more elaborate proeesi
and is now espeoially in vogue foi
yokes, collars, cuffs, belts and revers.
Instead of the fine or heavy cords
that were once used iu rows between
rows of machine stitohing, a slightly
stiff featherboning is used, and put
on with a machine attachment which
keeps the* work even and avoids all
pulling. The prettiest of yokes show
oording in a rounding form, lower
in the centre, with amohing of mous
seline on the edge—a fluffy effect for
one with a flat chest. In cording the
filler must be of a fair size to show in
distinot ridges, which is the beauty
of all oording.
Sewing on a button seems a simple
task, but it is one which many women
do in a wrong way. A button used as
a trimming needs but a few stitches,
as it is simply taoked on, while one
used aa a fastener needs strength and
loose stitches enduringly put in. No
button fastens well that is sewed
closely to the dress. Use twist, and
wax it so that a few stitches will suf
fice. Do not sew on a button so that
the stitches disfigure the lining. A
tailor puts his stitches through the
upper cloth only, pointing the needle
baok and forth, not up and down—a
prooess whioh is easily learned. A
button is either for use or ornament.
If for the latter purpose it should be
unique in shape or design.—Ladies'
Home Journal.
Garment* For Slender Women.
Anxious to preserve the slenderness
of their figures, many women will suf
fer actual discomfort, or even risk
great danger to their health from eold,
rather than wear heavy, bulky gar
ments. Shetland underwaists, to be
worn next the redingote, or rather
overdress, are especially designed for
this class of people. These garment.;
are knitted loosely in pure Shetland
wool. They are exceedingly warm,
though so fine and light, and the
waists are made with a high neck and
long sleeves. They can be worn un
der a close-fitting bodice without ma
terially increasing the size. They can
be found at any of the stores which
make a specialty of fine hygienic wool
underwear. They are rather high in
prioe, but a pair of these waists mere
ly for outdoor wear will last all win
ter. They can be had iu black, white
and gray wools respectively. Esther
than pay the price, many women sub
stitute a ribbed wool undervest, which
they wear under a light-weight cloth
jacket.
How Women Dress In Siberia.
Common-class women in Siberia
wear shawls or kerchiefs on their
heads, while the rich women wear no
head oovering whatever. A trnveler
reoently returned from that part of
the world says that a Eussian woman
who is otherwise trim and modern in
dresß will go about with her hair dis
hevelled to the point of the ludicrous.
Less attentiou is paid to the head and
feet than to other parts of their
toilet.
"It is odd enough to see them,"
says this same writer, "defying drip
ping decks nud muddy roads in the
thinnest of heelless slippers, while
the breezes play havoo with the loose
tresses of their hair. Their shirt waist
is a feminine terror, with a broad
turnover collar, fancy cuffs, cotton
bows, many buttons and numerous
frills, in place of the natty American
Bhirt waist."
A Far and Velvet Season.
The winter is to be decidedly a fur
and velvet season. Entire gowns are
made of these materials, lightly lined
with silk or satin alone, to remove all
bulky effect, and skirts and coats of
Persian lamb or Caracut—the fine,
soft Astrakhan—are the height ol
fashion.
Gleanings From tlie Shops.
Blaok velvet bows for the hair with
pipings of white satin.
Exquisite novelties iu beaded and
jewelled purses and bags in small
sizes.
Gown of net, oloth or velvet show
ing guipure laee in festoon applica
tions.
Watoh fobs of blaok ribbon with
seal, monogram or rich jewel pen
dants.
Net, chiffon and narrow lace frills
edged with effective Tom Thumb
fringe.
Muff chains composed of alternat
ing links of gold and enamel flower
designs.
Silver bangles for young girls, upon
which some favoite quotation is in
scribed.
White Brussels net embroidere d
with light green chenille and pearl
sequins.
Many styles in tortoise shell, am
ber, jet and Parisian rhinestone coif
fure ornaments.
Panne velvet in pompadour color
ings for waists, guimpes and other
trimming purposes.
Lace gowns effectively trimmed
with deep white chenille fringe or
narrow bauds of fur.
Evening gows of chenille dotted
net relieved by bauds of cream lace
in bayandere pattern.
Medici collars of sable and other
fur fiuished with longßtolcs of plaited
chiffon or rich cream lace.
Largo assortments of high class
novelties in reversible cloths for driv
ing coats, capes and ulsters.
Redingotea and newmarkets made
of black or light-colored cloths
trimmed with machine stitched folds
and deep revers.
Chinchilla and sable toques trimmed
effectively with tulle rosettes iu com
bination with birds, wings, paradise
aigrette and violets.—Dry Goods
Economist
SOUTH AFRICA'S PLAGUES.
At Bulawayo Boot* Devoured by Anli
The Rinderpest.
"South Africa imports hides, wool
and mohair, and the ranchman would
revel in riohes were it uot for the var
ious pests that deoimate his flocks aud
herds. The most deadly one is the
rinderpest, a cattle plague which in
the last ten years has been slowly
creeping from Central Africa south
ward, leaving a wake of whitened
bones. In traveling through Natal I
saw fifty oxen lying dead about
spring where they had tumbled one
over the other, so suddenly had the
disease attacked them. It was almost
impossible then to get an untinged
piece of steak at a restaurant, though
the proprietor resented any such
charge, and a plethoric German trav
eler who oalled in a loud tone for
'roast rinderpest' in the railroad cafe
at De Aar Jnnotion, Cape Colony, had
to be pioked up in fragments. Dr.
Koch and other eminent specialists
tried in vain to stop this plague. The
country is now recovering from it
slowly.
"Another pest is the tsetse fly, an
inseot resembling our oommon house
fly, but three times as large. Its bite
will kill a horse, cow or any other do
mestic animal in about ten days, but,
strange to say, does not affeot a wild
animal or a human being. A less dan
gerous but more troublesome pest is
the white ant, which is about one
quarter of an inoh long and übiquit
ous in many parts of the country.
They live under the ground, and can
only be routed by killing the queen,
which sometimes reaches the size of
one inch in length. This insect is
particularly harassing in Rhodesia.
At Buluwayo my traveling companion
inadvertently left his boots on the
floor after turning in at night, and he
arose next morning to find the uppers
carefully separated from the soles.
'Ducky you didn't leave your clothes
on the floor,' was the hotel keeper's
only consolation. Theso ants will eat
through anything but metal, and for
t.hat reason muoh of the building is
done with corrugated irou. The ant
hill is one of the conspicuous land
marks in traveling over South Africa."
—Ainslee's Magazine.
Some Remarkable Freight Outfits.
All the reminiscent veterans of the
plains love to dwell nowadays on the
wonders of the freight outfits of the
early sixties, when the transportation
business for them was at its hoight.
An ox-team freight train consisted of
twenty-five wagons. Several trains
used to move together, making a
stream of ox teams and wagons more
than half a mile long. Sometimes a
freight train would be a mile long,
consisting of 500 ox teams, 120
wagons and about 130 men. The
earlier wagons were large and carried
from fifty to sixty hundred pounds of
freight, but later still heavier wagons,
with oval white canvas or loose cloth
tops, called prairie schooners, came
into use; each wagon being loaded
with from three to three aud one-half
tons. The goods were protected with
two or of duokiug. Some
wagons had peep holes in the sides
from which the freighters looked out,
rifle in hand, when a band of savages
was menacing the train.
Each wagon required six yoke of
oxen for motive power, and twenty or
thirty head of extra oxen always ac
companied the train to supply the
place of those that were lost or
crippled. The enstom of trailing a
wagon came into use in later years.
In camping the wagons wore arranged
in a circle side by side, with the
tongues outward, and a log cabin ex
tended from the hind wheel of one
wagon to the fore wheel of the next
one, thus making a solid pen.
Sacred White Peacocks at the Zoo.
Sacred white peaoocks are the star
attraction at the Central Park men
agerie in New York City, The long
armed gibbon, known as the missing
link, which lias held the place of
honor at the park zoo, will takeabaok
Beat. It is said there are only two
white peacocks in America. The
strange peaoocks have been a part of
a circus in Cincinnati. Superinten
dent Smith heard of them and ar
ranged for an exchange. Cape buf
faloes ore a rarity in this oountry, but
the menagerie has several of them
and no freak peacocks. The circus
man finally consented to let the pea
cocks go to New York City and to take
in exchange one of the cape buffaloes.
The white peauook is the albino of the
peacock family, and only a very few
Of them ore found outside of their
native country, Tndia, where they are
considered sacred.
Material For His Pl&3'.
A fourteen-year-old boy marched
busily up to the doorkeeper and asked
to be allowed to see the Molineux
trial. The attendant told him he was
too small, aud pushed him back.
"But I've got some important busi
ness," he said, resentfully.
"Important business?"
"I'm writing a play, sir, aud the
fourth act is a murder trial just like
Mr. Molineux's."
"Get out, you !"
"Why do you let Mr. Scott, the
Englishman, in, and Mr. Bronson
Howard aud Mr. Klein, the actor?"
"Wait till you are ns big as they
are."
"Well, wait till yon see my play,"
snapped the applicant for admit
tance, and stnlked haughtily up to the
elevator.—New York Commercial Ad
vertiser.
Tlio Meanest Men.
Some of the meanest men in the
world are the fellows who stop in
front of a newsboy, pretend to feel for
a cent with which to buy a paper,
sneak ft glauce at the headlines which
gives them all the news they want,
and then refuse to buy, saying, "Just
had one." —New York Press.
A COMICAL WORLD. #
"Such a comical world," said the Funny
Man,
And he laughed, "Ha-ha! He-he!
How people can keep from laugniug aloud
Is really a mystery to me.
"Now the sun arises in early morn.
And that In so fuuny to me;
Why it doesn't wait till people are up
Is funny as fuuny can be.
"Aud the moon and the stars prowl around
at night
When the people are all In bed;"
And he laughed, "Ha-ha! He-hel"
And shook from his toes to his head.
"Why. the brooks are always running
down hill,
And (which seems so fuuuy to me),
They never climb back, yot never run dry;
Which Is funny as funny ean be.
"And another thing that is comical, too,
The rivers run Into the sea; ■
But It never runs o'er or fuller gets,
Which also seems fuuny to me.
"Aud the higher you climb up the moun
tain tall,
And the nearer the sun," said he,
"The colder it grows, and that, too, I'm
sure,
Is funny as fuuny enn be.
"Such a comical worldl" said the Fuuny
Man,
And he luughed, "Ha-haf He-hel
How people can keep from laughing aloud
Is really a mystery to mo."
—Detroit Free Press.
JINGLES AND JESTS.
Sillicus—"A woman's troubles are
always exfcremo." Cynicus—"Yes;
shoes and hats."
There is a chance for some genius
To spend his days In clover
By inventing cloth for overcoats
That will fade alike all over.
—Chicago News.
"1 may have wheels," said the
driver of the van, "but I move in the
best sooiety."—Philadelphia Evening
Bulletin.
Hoax—"Salary beeu reduced, eh?
That's hard luck. Made you feel
mad, didn't it?" Joax—"No, but it
made me feel cheap."
I fear he will not rise to fame;
He has indeed a studious bent,
But all with ease may read his name
Whene'er ho signs a document.
—Washington Star,
Maude—"Have Bella and Jack ha
a new quarrel?" Lena—"Oh, no!—
but they've patched up their old one
till it's about as good as new."—
Puck.
The Amiable Plutocrat "But
riches do uot bring happiness." The
Unamiable Pauper "But I ain't
lookin' for happiuess. All I want is
comfort."—lndianapolis Journal.
Judge—"Have you anything to say
before the court passes sentence?"
Prisoner—"Well, all I've got to say
is, I hope you'll consider the extreme
youth of my lawyer, aud let me off
easy."
Little Edgar—"Pa, what's a lineal
descendant?" Pa—"He is generally
some one who is trying to get through
J the world on a reputation somebody
made before he was born."—Chicago
Times-Herald.
"I see by the newspapers," re
marked lieeder, "that the miners iu
| the Klondike are sending out appeals
for wives." "Is that so?" ejaculated
Hennypeck, in an eager whisper.
"They can have mine."
"You are not opaque, are you?"
sarcastically asked one man of another
who was standing in front of him at
the theatre. "Faith, an' Oim not,"
replied the other. "It's O'Brien thot
Oiain."—Chicago News.
Each mun is apt to deem, wo'ro told,
That fellowman his friend,
Who never asks to borrow gold,
But bas some he will lend.
—Elliott's Magazine.
Tliey were engaged. "Life," she
said, a9 she arose from the piano
stool, "will be one long, sweet song
after we are married." "That settles
it, then," firmly responded lier lover,
as he pioked up his hat aud took his
departure.—Ohio State Journal.
"As I understand it," says Mrs.
Gazzam, "by the wireless telegraph
system the messages go right through
the air wejbreathe." "Yes, thatis oor
reot," assented Mr. Gazzem. "Then
a person who has just filed a message
in the telegraph office may swallow
his own words on his way home."—
Harper's Bazar.
The Feminine Observer.
Women desire sympathy; men pre
fer help.
What a lot of trouble we could avoid
if we only learned not to worry?
The average young man of the day
thinks himself abont fifty years ahead
of the times.
Many really worldly women cannot
overcome their nervousness at the ar
rival of a telegram.
It is either the very young woman
or the one who feels youth creeping
away from her that treasures clip
pings of poetry.
A woman is quiok to believe a man
cares for her, but a man never seems
to be quite convinced that a woman
loves him uutil she wearies him with
lior affection.
A woman can write the most exact
ing essay in an awfully cramped posi
tion and with a perfect terror of a pen;
a man, on the other hand, must have
the most felicitous environment to be
able to even receipt a bill. —Philadel-
phia Times.
Carrying Cora Aero ah Chasm.
Europe's unique transportation wrv
is the Eorst Hope Road. In the can
,ton of Grisons, on the 'dizzy preci
pice of Via Mala (the had way), a
deep defile of Switzerland along the
upper Rhine, walled in by precipices
in soiho places 1600 feet high, it is so
difficult to get the felled trees across
the valley that a wire rope railway
hangs from the mountain top across
tho valley down to Rougetlen. To
this cable are fastened big logs by
rope and pulley, which slowly are
carried across the valley. When se
vere storms sweep down from the
mountain passes, frequently the sys
tem gets tangled, and then it is neces
sary for some one to make the perilous
journey out on the rope to unravel
the mass.