Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, October 30, 1899, Image 4

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    FREELAND TRIBUNE.
IBablishoi 1388.
PUBLISHED EVERY
MONDAY AND THURSDAY
BY THE
TRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY, Limited.
OVTICE: MAIN STKEET ABOVE CENTRE.
LONG DISTANCE TELEPUONE.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES:
One Year $1.30
Six Months •">
Four Months 50
Two Months '•£>
The date which the subscription is paid to is
OH the address label of each paper, the change
of which to a subsequent date beeomes a
receipt for remittance. Keep the figures in
ad vanee of the present date. Report prompt
ly to this otlice whenever paper is not received.
Arrearages must be paid when subscription
it discontinued.
Make all money orders, checks, etc., payable to
the Tribune Printiny Company, Limited.
FREELAND, PA., OCTOBER 30, 1809.
The Value of Publicity.
John Wanamaker's recent contract to
pay the Philadelphia Record §IOO,OOO for
a page advertisement every day in the
year is itself of the best sort of advertis
ing. This great contract is the subject
of universal comment and remark, but
it is only a small part of the newspaper
advertising done by this house. In
Now York the advertising bills of
Wanatnaker aro as high as in Philadel
phia. Ho is therefore taking up the
business of tho first American merchant
prince, A. T. Stewart, where the latter
left off. One of the chief causes of Mr.
Stewart's success was his liberal adver
tising and he was the pioneer in this
branch of merchandising in this couu
try.
When Judge Hilton took control of
tho Stewart store he stopped advertis
ing in the newspapers, believing that
the name of the house was so well and
favorably known that It was unneces
sary to call daily attention to it. A few
yoars of this sort of business manage
ment was enough to destroy the prop
erty and it was eventually sold under
the hammer to John Wanamakor.
Mr. Wanatnaker had not taken pos
session of tho new business before he
began advertising it freely in the New
York papers. And ho has kept adver
tising daily ever since. The result is
that despite the discouraging prophe
cies of many of Mr. Wanamaker's
friends his store in New York is doing a
larger business than his store in Phila
delphia and a much larger business
than it ever did under the management
of Stewart. The street car conductors
have orders to stop their cars and an
nounce Wanamaker's. This single
establishment has restored retail busi
ness to tho locality whore it formerly
flourished.
Mr. Wanamaker is the best judge of
tho causes of his phenomenal success
and ho attributes it to constant atten
tion to details and to advertising. In
this age of publicity to attempt to
build up commercial success without
regular advertising is to be handicapped
by deliberate neglect of tho most im
portant single factor in creating trade.
It is such contracts as Wanamaker has
mado with the Philadelphia Record that
enable him to continue to do a colossal
business.
The American flag floating over tho
Sulu islands is a sight that is a crime
to every home in the land. Tho Sulu
islands are governed by a sultan, who,
for his submission to the imperialistic
program of the MeKinleyitos, receives
an annual salary of §IO,OOO for the
support of himself and his twelve wives.
His harems and slave-pens are guaran
teed the protection of the flag which was
dedicated to the cause of human libeTty.
For what ignoble purposes the stars and
stripes will be next used is known only
to the cotorie of land grabbers
and liborty-throttlers who for the time
being are unfortunately in control of
tho American government.
A writer who has evidently studied
the. matter says: "They have now or
ganized a compressed air trust. A liquid
air trust is likely to follow, then will
come the free air trust; and in due time
we will have our breath strained through
a meter at so much a breathe, and if we
won't pay by the 10th of the mouth the
company will shut off our wind."
Governor Htone says that nobody
doubts Mr. Creasy's honesty, or that he
would make a good state treasurer.
Then what more can be asked? Does
Governor Stone prefer a state treasurer
of the usual kind, one who will allow
the money of the state to be used for
speculating in stock?
In Ohio a jilted young woman avenged
herself by firing several shots from a
pistol into the tires of her recreant
lover's bicycle. Revenge of this sort
is more spirited than a breach of pro
mise suit and just about as satisfactory.
A. Oswald sells Arbuckle's, Dills
worth's, Lion and Levoring's coffee at
10 cents a pound.
REVENGE WENT ASKEW, j
Jobson Planned It Out All Right, but !
\Va Too Previous.
Mr.Jobson got home from his office
at.4.15 one afternoon last week and ;
found a note from Mrs. .lobson saying
that she had gone to hear the perform
ance of a long-haired pianist, and that
he'd find his dinner all ready for the
girl to serve it
"That's a good thing, too." mused
Mr. Jobson sulkily, when he hud read
the note. "it's a wonder these mat
tress-headed geniuses that come over i
here to this country and rake in Ameri- !
can dollars, hating Americans all the
time, wouldn't call their game at an
hour that 'ud permit a toiling man's
wife to he on hand at home to give him
something to eat when he wants it,"
etc., etc.
The opportunity was too good for I
Mr. Jobson to miss, so he declined to :
eat any dinner when the servant put it i
on the table. Instead, he slammed on j
his hut and went down town. lie |
wanted to give Mrs. Jobson a lesson. 1
He ate an unsatisfactory dinner at a j
restaurant, and then poked around un
til it was time for a variety theatre to '
open its doors. He had to watch a lot
of poorly played billiard games in order
to put in this time, and 10 talk with a
lot of bachelors from whose ways of
thinking he had departed. He was
bored exceedingly by theatre time.
The show bored him still more. Hut
he stuck it out, for he wanted to get
home as late as possible, the better to
rub it in on Mrs. Jobson. By 11 o'clock
lie reflected that lie had had a pretty poor
sort of an evening—his evening paper
unread, his favorite pipe neglected for
a lot of cigars that gave him heartburn,
a poor dinner, idle talk with a slew of
men that he didn't want to talk to,
and. finally, a tawdry, cheap variety
perlormance that might have got a
laugh out of him ten years before, but
was only so much ribaldry to him now.
He took in a couple more billiard
games, however, after the show, and
threw a couple of cocktails into himself,
not because he cared to drink, but
because he wanted Mrs. Jobson to
smell his breath and thus perceive the
awful consequences of her conduct.
Mrs. Jobson was comfortably tucked
in bed when Mr. Jobson got home
about half an hour after midnight.
She had not even left a light burning
in the vestibule or in the bedroom.
She woke up very leisurely when Mr.
Jobson started one of the gas jets go
ing, She didn't say anything, however.
Mr. Jobson had expected to find her
up, fully dressed and in tears. He was
disappointed. He was more disap
pointed that she didn't greet him with
repinings. Mr. Jobson saw that she
was likely to go to sleep again, and that
he wasn't causing any grief at all by
being haughty and keeping still. So
he cleared his throat and said:
"Did he play the Buck Dance Con
certo in '/ minor with his hair, and how
was it?"
There was a lot of sarcasm in the
way Mr. J6bson asked this question.
Mrs. Jobson didn't turn ovor at all.
"What are you talking about?" sne
inquired, sleepily.
"I want to know if that Dutchman
that kept you away from your duty of
serving a meal to your husband after
his day of grinding labor gave you
your money's worth; also if you think
you're making any kind of a hit with
anybody by these methods, hey? '
"Oil, the recital—that's what you're
speaking of, isn't it?" said Mrs. Job
son, sweetly. "Well, 1 didn't go. 1
had intended to go when 1 started out
shopping in the morning, and left the
note for you telling you so, but 1
thought it might annoy you to have me
away from dinner, and so when 1 con
cluded my shopping, about 4 o'clock
this afternoon, 1 decided not to go to
the recital. The Fourteenth street car
that brought me uptown passed the car
that took you downtown. I saw you
on the open car, and wondered why you
were going in that direcliou. 1 sup
pose you had to go back to your office
to work. It's shameful the way they're
overworking you, you poor old thing,"
and then Mrs. Jobson, who knew that
Mr. Jobson hadn't been working at his
office, turned over and subsided into
dreamy slumber.
"You can't beat 'em," thought Mr.
Jobson, when he got into bed. He was
thinking of women in general—Wash
ington Star.
It Was Supremely Funny.
"Haw, haw, haw," laughed the Eng
lishman. "Funniest joke 1 ever
heard."
"What is it?" asked the American.
"Why, a man got up one morning
and couldn't find his alarm clock, so
lie asked his wife what had become
of it, and she said it had disappeared ;
at t o'clock."
"1 don't see anything so funny about
that."
"Don't you? Why—why neither do!
now. Thought it was awful funny
when I heard it, too. I . Oh, yes,
now I know. She said it went oil' at
0 o'clock. Haw, haw, haw!"— Chicago
Post.
It Tulked l.ouder.
"Yes," lie said in those deep, mellow
tones which were wont to set the rab
ble in a roar; "yes, 1 have gone into
vaudeville. Ido an act with a sou
brotte uud a trained (log. I know
what you will say. It is debasing to
my dreams of high art. I will not
contradict you. But whither was my
artistic Ideal leading me? Think of
that. High art is soul convincing
in its way, but here is something that
talks still more eloquently."
And he smote with his open palm
upon ids pocket.
As he did so there came forth the
pleasant jingle of many coins.—Cleve
land Pie • I onier
A DltlWult Cvift.
Patient—"You are worried about
m> case, doctor; 1 can see it in your
face."
Doctor—"No-o; not exactly.
Patient—"Tell ine the truth, doctor;
I want to know just what you think."
Doctor—"Well, to be quite candid
with you, 1 was worrying about your
Hill. You haven't paid me a cent in
two years." Puck.
Hoarding Home Conundrum.
"When is a calf like a hen in hot wa
ter?" inquired the facetious boarder,
addressing nobody in particular.
"1 don't know," replied the landlady.
"Please tell us."
"When it is a chicken stew," was the
rcjilnder. And a deep hush fell upon
the assemblage. New York Journal.
UNCLE CALEB'S WILL. J
"You mean that you can't put your
self out to give your mother's brother !
a night's lodging!" said Caleb Cheverel,
bitterly.
The March wind, bearing dust and
grit and bits of flying paper on its
restless wings, came whistling around
the corner, lifting the old man's faded
comforter's ends and turning his blue
nose a shade bluer still, while Mrs. j
Larkins, his eldest niece, stood in her
doorway, Ailing up the aperture with
her ample person in such away as to j
suggest the familiar legend, "No ad- i
mitiance!"
Mrs. Larkins was stout and bloom
ing and cherry-cheeked, dressed in sub
stantial alpaca, with gay gold brooch
and eardrops, which bespoke anything
but abject poverty.
Uncle Caleb was thin and meager
and shabbily dressed, with glossy j
seams in his overcoat and linger-ends
protruding from his worn gloves like
ancient rosebuds coming out of their j
calyx.
"I'm very sorry," said Mrs. Larkins,
stiffly; "but we have but one spare
room, and that is at present occupied.
Of course I should he glad to do all I I
could for you, but "
"1 understand, I understand," said
Uncle Cheverel, turning coldly away, j
"I'll go to my niece Jenny. I wish you ;
a very good evening."
Mrs. Larkins closed the door with a j
sigh of very evident relief.
"I dare say Jenny will take care of
him," she said philosophically. "Jenny
has a smaller family than 1 have. But
I don't see why he came up to London
instead of staying peaceably down in .
Tortoise Hollow, where he belongs." !
Mrs. Jennie Eldertop,. Mr. Cheverel's
youngest niece, had a smaller family |
than her sister Rebecca, but then she {
had a smaller income as well. She had j
just finished a vigorous day's cleaning
when Uncle Caleb was announced.
"Oh, drat the man!" said Mrs. Elder- j
lop, wringing her parboiled Angers out j
of a basin of steaming soapsuds. "What
sends him here, just now of all times
In the world?"
And she went down stairs ungra
ciously enough to the street door, ;
where her husband was welcoming the '
old stranger.
"Come in. Uncle Cheverel!—come
in!" said honest Will Eldertop. "We're
all upside down here—we mostly are, :
now that the spring cleaning is going
on. But there's room for you if you
don't mind the children and their noise
and a little smell of whitewush in the i
spare room.
Mrs. Eldertop's welcome was by no
means so cordial. She looked, to use
a common expression, "vinegar and
darning needles" at the visitor, while
iu her inmost sou! she calculated the
probability of the cold boiled ham and
turnips holding out for once more at
supper.
"Come, Jenny, don't scowl so," said
Mr. Eldertop, when Uncle Caleb had
gone upstairs to wash his hands and
face. "Ain't he your uncle?"
"A good for nothing old vagabond,"
said Mrs. Eldertop, acidly, "without a |
half-penny laid up ahead."
"For all that he's your guest," said
her husband, "and vou're bound to be
civil to him. And here's his overcoat
now, with a zig-zag rent in It. Just
mend It while you are waltlug for the
kettle to boil."
"I won't!" said Mrs. Eldertop.
"All right." retorted her lord and
master. "Then I'll take It next door to
Alexia Allen to mend."
Now, Miss Allen, the talloress, who
lived in the adjoining house, was pretty
and buxom to look upon, and Mrs. El
dertop had nursed comfortably a jeal
ousy of her for the 'UJU four years.
"You'll do no suoh thing," said Jenny,
tartly. "Hand it here."
And she threaded a needle with a
black silk and thrust her Anger Into a
thimble, very much as a determined j
crusader of old might have donned
sword and shield for some encounter
with the Moslem.
"What's that?" said Mr. Eldertop;
for a folded paper fell from the pocket
of the garment as his wife turned it up
side down.
"Some tomfoolery or the other," an
swered Mrs. Jenny, brusquely.
"I fancy you're mistaken," said Mr.
Eldertop. "It's the rough draft of a
will."
"But he has got nothing to leave,"
shrieked Mrs. Eldertop.
"I'm not so certain of that," retorted
Will. "Just look here, Jenny! '1 give
and bequeath to my two beloved nieces,
in equally divided parts, the sum of
£IO,OOO, at present Invested in consols, i
and—"
"Go on!" said Mrs. Eldertop, breath
lessly. "Read the rest."
"There is no rest," said her husband.
"That's the end of the paper. It's only
a rough draft, I tell you. And now,
j what's your opinion of Uncle Cheverel's
fortunes?"
"He's been a miser all along," said
Mrs. Eldertop, her face growing radi- ,
ant. "Making up poor mouths and j
traveling around the country with all I
this money in the funds. A regular old
character—just like those one reads
about in novels. Put it back, Will
put it back. We've no business to be
prying into Uncle Caleb's secrets; but
what a blessing it is he came here in
stead of stopping at Rebecca Larkins." ;
And when Uncle Cheverel came down
stairs he was surprised at the sweet i
smiles with which his niece Jenny wel- i
corned him.
"Been mending my coat, eh?" said
Uncle Cheverel. "Thank'ee kindly,
Jenny. 1 caught it on a nail yesterday,
and I was calculating to sew it up my
self. when I could borrer a needle and
thread."
"I'm glad to be of use, Uncle Caleb," 1
beamed Mrs. Eldertop. "Johnny, put
on your cap and run to the grocer's for
a smoked mackerel for your uncle's
breakfast. I hope you found your room
comfortable, Uncle Caleb?"
Before she slept that night Mrs. El
dertop put on her bonnet and shawl and
ran round to the Larkins' mansion to
impart her wonderful tidings to Sister
Rebecca.
"You don't say so," cried out the as
tonished matron.
"Gospel truth!" said Mrs. Eldertop.
"I saw It with my own eyes."
"He must come here," said Mrs. Lar
kins, resolutely.
"Not if I know it," said Mrs. Elder
top. "He's my guest and my guest he
shall remain."
"But if I'm to share equally with
you," said Mrs. Larkins, "I ought to
show hint some attention, the dear,
generous-hearted old man."
"Lest he should alter his will,"
shrewdly remarked. Sistst Jenny. "You
always were a worldly creature,
Becky!"
| "No more than yourself!" said Mrs.
Larklna, bristling up. "But it's my
: family I am thinking of, Jenny. I'll tell
you what—l'll come around and see
him to-morrow."
"But don't you breathe a syllable
abou! the will," said Mrs. Eldertop, in
a mysterious whisper.
"Oh, not for worlds," said Mrs. Lar
kins, fervently.
During the next week Uncle Cheverel
was overwhelmed with civilities. On
Thursday a new suit of clothes arrived,
with Mrs. Larkins' best love and com
pliments. On Friday Mrs. Larkins
came with an open barouche to take
dear Uncle Caleb for a drive in the
park. And on Saturday Mrs. Eldertop
burst into tears and declared she
should never be happy again if her
mother's only brother didn't pledge
himself then and there to make his
future home with herself and Will.
Uncle Caleb looked a little puzzled.
"Well," said he, "if you really make
a point of it—but I was intending to
meet Cousin John at Gravesend."
"Dear uncle, promise me to stay here
always," cried Mrs. Eldertop, hyster
ically.
"Just as you say, Niece Jenny," as
sented the old man, complacently.
Mrs. Eldertop felt that she had car
ried her point.
But when Mr. and Mrs. Larkins came
on Sunday afternoon to press a similar
petition, Uncle Caleb opened his eyes.
"My importance seems to have 'gone
up' in the market," he observed quaint
ly. "I never was in such demand
among my relatives before. But I
can't be in two places at once, that's
plain."
And he decided to remain with Mrs.
Eldertop, greatly to the indignation of
the Larkins family, who did not hesi
tate to hint boldly at unfair advantages
and undue Impartiality.
But just as Mrs. Larkins was rising
to depart, with her handkerchief to her
eyes, little Johnny Eldertop came
clamoring for a piece of paper to cut a
kite tail from.
"Go along," said Mrs. Eldertop, im
patiently.
"We have no paper hero. Go to
Amelia."
"Hold on, little chap—hold oh!" said
Uncle Caleb, fumbling in his overcoat
pocket—he had been Just about starting
for a walk when the Larkins party ar
rived—-"here's a bit as is of no use to
nobody."
And he produced the "rough draft"
and bestowed it on Johnny.
"One side's written on," sakl he, "and
t'other ain't. It was lying on the floor
in Mr. Watkin's law office, when I
stepped in to see if Joseph Hall was
employed there as porter still. An old
chum of mine Hall was in Tortoise Hol
low. I can't hear to see even a bit of
paper wasted, so I axed the clerk if It
was of any use. He said no—it was
only a draft of Dr. Falcon's will. Dr.
Falcon made a new will every six
months, he said, so I just picked it up
and put it in my pocket. Everything
comes In use once In seven j'ears, they
say, and this is Just right for little
Johnny's kite tail."
Mrs. Ijarkins looked at Mrs Eldertop,
Mr. Eldertop stared into the spectacled
eyes of Mr. Larkins.
Uncle Caleb chuckled benevolently
as little Johnny skipped away with the
piece of paper which had been freight
ed with such wealth of anticipation.
The Larkinses took leave without any
unnecessary formula of adieux, and
Mrs. Eldertop took occasion to tell
Uncle Caleb that perhaps he had better
prosecute his original design of the
Gravesend visit.
"Because we're expecting company
to-morrow." said she, "and our best
room will be wanted for a while. And,"
A SHRELOCK: HOLMES,
A Sharp Eyed Individual Wheae Deduc
tlons Were Logical.
J'The last man who used this 'phone,'*
said a Now Orleans Sherlock Holmes,
preparing to wrestle with the instru
ment in u public station, "was a short
little fellow in a deuce of a hurry,
smoking a cigarette. He asked for the
Illinois Central freight office, was told
they were busy and repeated the re
quest fivo times, getting madder at
each call. Meanwhile his cigarette
went out, and after vainly searching
for a match"
"Hold on there!" exclaimed a friend,
who had accompanied him to the booth.
"What kind of a fairy story are you
giving me, anyhow?"
"No fairy story at all," replied the
amateur sleuth, blandly. "I was mere
ly stating a few facts."
"But how the dickens did you ascer
tain them?"
"Plain as ABC, my boy. To begin
with, the adjustable mouthpiece of the
instrument is pulled down, as you see,
to its fullest extent, indicating clearly
that the last user was very much un
dersized. Isn't that evident?"
"Y-e-e-es, I guess so; but how about
the rest?"
"Well, look at that ledge, and you
will observe five charred spots and an
equal number of small piles of tobacco
ash. What do you infer? Why, obvi
ously, that the gentleman was smoking
and laid down his cigarette each time
he called. The piles of ash are still un
disturbed, showing they were recently
deposited, and they are small, proving
plainly that the intervals of calling
were brief,
j "My logical conclusion was that the
| 'phone he wanted happened to be busy,
and 1 looked instinctively for a memo
randum of its number, which most men
make under such circumstances. I
found it, as I anticipated, on top of the
box, scrawled in pencil and recognized
the number of the freight office. Such
memoranda are almost always rubbed
out by the sleeve of the next customer,
and as this one is still fresh and bright,
it is fair to presume it was made by the
last man in the booth—otherwise the
short chap with the cigarette. More
over, a freight office 'phone is usually
j busy at this hour, so the clews inter
lock and sustain one another. Not so,
my dear boy?"
I "But the matches?"
j "Oh, deduce the match incident from
those fresh toothpicks on the floor.
Where a man in a hurry searches for a
match he invaribly finds quantities of
i toothpicks. I would"
j "Are you through with that 'phone?"
asked a short, stout stranger, appear
ing suddenly at the door and vigorous
ly puffing a cigarette: "because if you
j are I"
| "Certainly, sir," said the analyst,
smiling. "I think you will lind the
l freight office disengaged at present"
I "Well, I'll be hanged," said the
friend.—New Orleans Times-Democrat-
A CASE IN POINT.
Dissertation on the Vlrtne of Telling the
Unvarnished Tratli.
' "The hypocrisies in which women in
dulge arc very fatiguing," remarked
Mr. Blykins, with that lofty and irri
tating air which he adopts when he
feels like lecturing, according to the
Washington Star. "These social slmms
are as foolish as they,are unnecessary."
"Do you think they are eonlined to
feminine existence?" inquired his wife,
gently.
"Of course they are. A man goeß
straight to the point. He doesn't de-
Bcend to petty falsehood in an idle at
tempt to conceal his real motives and
feelings. He doesn't send word thut
he isn't in when somebody whom he
wishes to avoid calls. He doesn't gush
and coo over somebody and then talk
about him behind his back. He says
what lie has to say straight from tile
shoulder and never takes any of it
back."
"Don't you think that there are lit
tle conventional fictions which it is just
as well to employ, if only for the sake
of one's own self-respect?"
"Never! This world would get on
twice as smoothly if nobody said any
thing he didn't absolutely mean."
"Hy the way," she exclaimed, ab
ruptly changing the subject, "did you
write to Mr. Squidly to-day us you said
you were going to?"
"Yes. And there's a case in point.
I didn't mince words with him. I put
it all down in black and white. I told
him exactly what 1 think he isand then
looked in u book of synonyms for inoro
words. It won't do any good, of course,
but it was some satisfaction to call his
attention to limseif and let him know
that there is somebody who isn't to be
fooled by his hypocritical mask."
"How didyou sign the letter?"
"With my own name, of course. I
wouldn'tsend anything anonymously."
"What did you put before your
name?"
"Why, I wrote the usual line 'Yours
very respectfully' "
And then Mr. Blykins relapsed into
silence.
llmnhoo Curtains.
Aii amusing story, illustrative of the
difference between eyes and no eyes,
is told by the New Orleans Times-
Democrat.
"I noticed such a sweet decorative
Idea on this street yesterday," said a
lady visitor to. a New Orleans friend,
while taking a trolley ride near the
French market. "It was a house," she
continued, "hung at all the second and
third story windows with pale yellow
bamboo curtains. They were perfect
ly plain and all of the same shade, but
you have no idea how they set off the
old place. Why, they simply glorified
it."
"Hu-ra-m," mused her friend, "I
don't recall the house. Just point it
out as we go by, will you V"
Presently the visitor uttered an ex
clamation. "There it is!" she cried.
"The house of the bamboo curtains!
I'm sure a colony of artists must live
there!"
"A colony of Italians,' said her
friend, grimly. "That's not bamboo.
It's a spaghetti factory. They hang
the stuff out there to dry."
Society Note.
The beautiful Miss OTloolehan was
seen on Fifth avenue yesterday in her
horseless dogcart. It is rumored than
Miss O'Hoolehan is heiress to at least
30 cents. *
The Worm's Sting.
Mrs. Dorcas—Why do you think the
new woman will never be successful
In their attempt to get the earth?
Dorcas—Because, my dear, the good
book says the meek shall Inherit the
earth.—Judge.
Pl.na.d to Obllg*.
Sailor—Want to buy a parrot, lady?
Lady—Does he swear?
Sailor—No, lady, dis one don't; hut
if yer want ter pay $2 more 1 kin get
yer a very choice article wot cusses
beautiful!— Puck.
Trouble fiver the Uridine.
Jasper—Bosser doesn't seem to be as
popular iu Brooklyn as he used to lie.
Jumpuppe—And no wonder. He lias
acquired the habit of singing ids baby
to sleep, an in that way he wakens
every other baby on the avenue.—Life.
Preparing; the Way.
"The War Department has decided
to issue candy to soldiers at army
posts."
"That's merely an illustration of the
influence of the new woman. She's
looking forward to the time when she
will want to enlist." —Chicago Post.
Come* to the Same Thing.
"What Is there in this story about
the girl dubbins is engaged to being
a millionaire?"
"Not a millionaire; a milliner."
"Oil, well, that Is not so had."—ln
dianapolis Journal.
Not Quite Sure.
"Do you think baelwlors ought to he
taxed?" Rome one asked.
"I'm not quite sure," she- answered
dreamily. "Give me another week and
may be I'll be able to laud him with
out any outside help."—Chicago Post.
A Difficult Assignment.
Editor—What's all this stuff?
Reporter—That,' sir. Is a report of
the proceedings of the Woman Suf
frage meeting last night.
Editor—But I can't unlkc head or
tail of It.
Reporter- Neither could I. They
were all talking at once.
I IT'S EASY" I
1 To Be Satisfied! 1
I £531 I Si I
P When you come to us to p
IS buy. Our Enormous Stock |n
affords an Excellent As- p
p| sortment to choose from, m
pj and the quality of our P a
§ goods is such that you ||
have confidence in them. Wi
P You don't feel always as if p *
p something was going to
P happen or go wrong with p
® them. |1
gjl Our shelves and counters are now filled bn
p with the latest Fall styles. Our Hat and p
p| Boot and Shoe Departments contain the very [Si
P latest from the manufacturers. In Gents' P
IH Furnishings we will continue to lead, as in the E
|| past, and invite you to examine our assortment. S
P Underwear of every description and at p
Hj prices that will please you. Our goods are E
gj exactly as represented, therefore you get just E
aj what you want. Gloves of Every Description, 5
fel Neckwear, Shirts of All Kinds and Men's and p
p Boys' Hose in Endless Varieties. A fine p
pl selection of Boys' Knee Pants for Winter [SI
|C=j Wear has just arrived. IE
I McIENAiIN'S 1
jg Gents' Furnishing, Hat and Shoe Store, §
86 CENTRE STREET.
ltnl, or Corn Exchn'rnrc Nut. Hank.'t•l.l,-ti l !"or'!'''rninn Hxchnnuo Hank, New York; or any railroad or ixnreng
company in I lilcniro. r l.a.r .ir.pl. a nr o.rr finiMkin.no, occupy entlro ono or the larrreot business i„
Chlcaito. and employ nearly J.OOO people In our own buihllnir. IVh HKI.I, lilliuss AT coo.(lb and up; riAMm, ant nil
and up; alpn nvorythlinr in musical Instrument, * lowest wbnlepale prices. Wrlio for free special oriran. nluno
sears'! ROEBUCK Too. On"'.). Fulton. Desp| S ai"riej'and' , Wa*man"s* i^'chYcACoTVlll
SEND NO MONEY £&-**r
i . ■ i ■ i hi. wo will send you OUR HIGH |V - V\oi th I IGO
JRADE DROP CABINET BURDICR t SEWIHG MACHINE •*frrlebi< MbD. subject to eiami I V^jj
t.ui'l i km' IUIH.iVn lui 'V\. it itKu'i) 'in.' ~'n'v 1 f\ -
Si>e v lcl miri?,". sls^9
120 pounds and tho freight will average 75 cents for each 500 utiles. Kliftll I ' jlWi
CJVE 'HS* TRIAL in your own home, and "it
Cerent make* and grndrs of Sewing Carbine* at #S.SO,' SIO.OI)/ #ll.OO, m DCS) "^1
flS.tHtami up, all fully dosrrllted in Our Kre# Srwlnit Jlarhlnr ('atalwrue, M. V | Fr.fliMVl
S'tb S i s^.°t.l:t r ; l iJu?e R ,?r I, o^r E aSfyM?. I i T BURD I GK 4> I ffg
H iilWd Hi
various inducements. Write some friend in Chicago and learn who are "* *
TUC* hns everv nI>KH* IMPROVEMENT, ASi g J
I lIL kvkuy uoodpoint ok EVERY iiit.ii ■^4sroaßßa^l" :^: *l _ .
DEFECTS OF NONK. MADE lIY THESES'?M AKKK VN^SIKIIIC" 1 ! JoJ . |O
FROM 'HIE IIEST MATERIAL -TS
m a O NEY SOLID QUARTER SAWED OAK DROP DESK
! ISSfSI'W"' 7 • I'iAXO rtILIKHUD, onu illustration Klmws ..uu hinc . losSi rhen^ufmA
~ j ring from hlffht) to be used us n center table, stand or do.b the oilier
t H&mHPwSP?IIIM9 for penhV. 4 Mary
e UtlWVvl urawrr*, latent 18W9 Nkelelon frnmo, carved, nunt-leil niiiKniwnil
- Kbtfel' A I decorated caiiinet finish, fluent nicltel drawer pulls rests on 4 can
. l | n ; tors, ball bearing adjustable treadle, (tenulne Bmytn Irra^ttMid.
8 an I 150 mvi Inrg.' li.vh Arm head, iif.sitive four motion fend, self tbreadimr vibrat-
S ■ , J If vj/ I Rial ijurshuttle, automatic bobbin winder, adjustable bearings, patent tension
I I Wfll Hberator. lmprove} looso wheel, adjustable nresaer foot, improved shuttle
siijg lllNicifEi:"
- ® t-= R U OUARANTEEO the llahtaatiganliw, aunt durable and nsarcat noUelewa aarhlna
sxa! Iwi I Kr, ' rjr •"*" ui'afhment U furnished and our Frae Instruction Book tiliß
°t Mi Sm J" Ht howunyotiecnti ru it und do either plain or any kind of funev work
liim A 80-YEARS' BINDING GUARANTEE Is sent witheveryma.hlne
. >.Vj JJT COSTS YOU NOTHING e *amlno this machine, compare it
1' r—■ _' _ ... , ,. ——rr— w '[" 'hose your storekeeper sells at S4O. OO
'SS* I „'V, 16-Ba WK TOimri hn 1 vol it i' a ' 6 o iru T u™im"tMh'nuiJS, "sisk. ',°o"^ C ™,5S
■at..ii.tt.d. OKOKKTO oaY. imivt bPMV. Kneliuek *i Co.mtborougblyrcllabH-lCditoro "
Aadress, SEARS, ROEBUCK fit CO. (inc.) Chicago, 111.
AND UP
n FKI( KHV7es8 e u\eui U ono-th?rd l
the price charged by others, and WE V /
York Reveralble Klaatle Truna, illustrated above, cut this
ad. out and send to uh with Ol'lt BPKIIAL PKICK namrd,
state your IMght, Wright, Age, how long you have been
ruptured, whether rupture Is large or small; also state
number inches around the body on a line with the
rupture, say whether rupture is on right or loft side,
and we will send either truss to you with the under
standing. If It |* not a perfect lit and equal to tniaapa thai
retail at three tlmea our prlee.you can return it and we
will return your money.
WRITE FOR FREE TRUSS CATALOGUE ™rj„,Js" h *J
of truaaea. Including the New *lO.llO Leu Truaa sf) 7 r
that cures almonl any case, and whirl, we aril Tor $Zi/j
Addr...SEARS, ROEBUCK & Co. CHICAGO
£LWSI-Qft BUYS A $3.50 SHIT
\t 7 1,000 I'KI.I-:HI(ATKI> "XKVRKWKAKUI-T" IHII'HI.I
BkAT AMI KKKK, ICH.ILAK *8.50 ROYS' TWO.
/fMHTK Plkl'K liMCK PA NTS 8111S AT SI.OB.
tllr N HEW SUIT FREE FOR ANY OF THESE SUITS
A/tf 9 d (WHICH DON T QiVE SATISFACTORY WEAR,
• \ SEND NO MONEY, cut this ad, cut an J
I send to us, ite age of boy and say whether
liiJ jo o Q jliirge or Muall forage and we will send you
L. I fitlie suit by express, C. O. I. subject to ex-
You cuh cxumlite it at your
I I Ar ex prcsa I'Hlceund il found perfectly satls-
I I I factory and equal to aulta aold la your town for
I A I *8.50, pay your express agent our Special
1 11 / OB'er I'rlec, *I.I'M, and express charges,
m W THESE KNEE PANT SUITS ®re lor hoys 4to
W ■ .-? years of ago and nrn retailed eert where at
V >ludc With DOCIILK BKAT and KKRM,
latent 11)00 alyle na t|lutrated, nnde from a
No special |.ea*y wight, wcar-reeUHng, all-wool
Hlauion t'a*liner, neat, handsome pattern,
fine Italian lining, genuine Orntdnn interlining, padding,
ln>lint and reinforcing, hllk and linen Hewing, Due tailor made
(hrmiuhiMit,h stilt any boy or poreitl would lie proud ol".
HIU IIIKK tI.OTII S tMI'I.KM of ItoyK* t'lulhlng for lioys 4ln
10 YKAKS, write for Sample hook No. JSK, contains fashion
plates, tape mcomire arid full Instructions how to order
Meigs Suits made to order IVom iju'i.oo up. Suiu
pies sent free on {Application. Address.
SEARS, ROEBUCK & CO. (Inc.), Chicago, 111.
{fiturtf Uuebuck * Co. art thoroughly reliable.— bailor.j