Freeland Tribune
Established 1888.
PUBLISHED EVERY
MONDAY AND THURSDAY,
BY THE
TRIGONE PRINTING COMPANY. LimiteA
OyricK: MAI* STREET ABOVE CENTRE.
FREELAND, l'A.
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What a strange fact in human nature:
men who have their liberty tloall they
can to avoid work, while those in
prison sutler, grow insane aud die for
want of it.
Prussian school principals are pen
sioned seveu years sooner than judges,
and not without reason. They are
called upon to work nearly twice as
many hours a week as principals in
other European countries.
The Louisville Courier-Journal
aays: The rumor that the South
American republics are to unite
•gainst the United States is not dis
commoding. What South American
republic can unite with itself, to say
nothing of uniting with other repub
lics?
It usually holds good that when a
man says he has beeu hampered and
kept down by his wife and children,
he is indulging in that pitiful passion
for self-excuse which makes so many
human animals unjustly proud of
themselves aud justly ridiculous to
their fellows.
The railroad companies of Australia
have never discovered that it is pos
sible to take up tickets on the train,
hence the passengers are locked in the
cars to prevent auy of them stealing
a ride, and when they arrive at their
station are hustled out through a
turnstile and held up for their tickets.
Hitherto in many cases the patent
office has allowed a patent to cover a
new process, the machinery by which
this process was carried out and the
article produced by the process. The
idea was that all these three tilings
were dependent on one another aud
were justly to be construed as all pro
duced by a single act. Now a ruling
is to be put in force, requiring appli
cants to make separate applications on
the objects to be covered, aud
no application will be allowed to cover
more tliau the process alone, tho
machine alone, or the product alone.
The fact that an outlay of $150,-
000,000, in addition to the $0,000,000
lately expended on tho New York
canals, will be nee led to complete
even the relatively slight improve
ments now projected, is certain to
bring the whole question of their
canal system before the people of the
state. They are already paying a
million dollars a year for the opera
tion and maintenance of the canals,
and, if the further appropriation of
$150,000,000 should be authorized, tho
annual disbursements for maintenance
aud interest on debt will not be less
than two millions of dollars. The ad
vocates of an improved canal system,
however, do not stop here. They have
brought forward two proposals. One
of these is for a caual 12 feet deep ex
tending from Lake Erie to the Hudson
river, and suitable for barges of from
1,200 to 1,500 tous; tho cost of this
waterway is computed at $50,000,000.
The other proposal is for a ship canal
from 20 to 30 feet deep, and, conse
quently, adapted to lake and oceau
vessels of from 5,000 to 10,000 tons
capacity. The cost of such a ship
canal would be from $200,000,000 to
$500.000. HIM.
In 1396 Mohammed Balba usurped
the crown of Grenada, in spite of the
superior claims of his elder brother
Jussef. He was very unsuccessful in
Ilis conduct of the war against the
Christians and was at length assas
sinated by poison absorbed through the
ekin from a shirt. He entertained a
desperate dislike to the brother whom
he had injured, and when he knew that
his own fate was sealed he sent an
order to the governor of the prison in
which Jussef was confined that he
should be executed Immediately. When
the order arrived Jussef was playing
chess with the chaplain of the prison.
With great difficulty Jussef obtained a
respite from the governor permitting
him to finish the game. Before it was
ended, however, news came that the
usurper had died of the poison. This
canceled the order of execution and
Jussef, instead of going to the scaffold,
mounted the throne.
Kggs an an article of diet were first
used by the Malaccans and when we
speak of Shanghai chickens we hut
mention an Asiatic name.
THE CACED LION.
BY KDWAH PROCTOR CLARKE.
He sees them pass with Yelled, disdainful
eyes—
The shuffling crowds, who stare, with
feeble cries.
What couuts this jackal race of men to him?
Beyond the tawdry tent, the torches dim,
Lies to his gaze the tawny Lyblan plain
Where his lithe lioness waits her lord In
vain—
Where tireless stars march down the Orient
night,
And beckon him to conquest and delightl
Now. as hot memory through each vein
doth surge
As sweeps the simoon o'er the desert verge
Ho springs! magnificent in kingly rage
And beats tho frettod barrier of his cage,
Hurling his heart out in the cry of wrath
That once through cowering deserts clave
his puth
iDANROBY'STIGEI
I • ft
H| BY J. L. HARBOUR. jjf|
fiflTO WOULD like to
UHLjflj know whose dog is
H| that?"
fife*/ These were tho
wJM first words the pu-
If'Wf pil o °f the Silver
j 111 a P^ e School heard
£# lis a^ez J° r don, the
/' )| new teacher, speak.
1 nodded un-
J smilingly toward
Ir( M **])■! Ml several of tho boys
Iflfl aQ d girls who had
iv3> reached the school
houee before him
that frostyMouday morning when he
"took up school" in the little brick
schoolhouse ou the creast of a hill un
der a cluster of silver maples.
There were about thirty-five boys
and girls of from five to eighteen
years of age in the schoolhouse yard
when, at nine o'clock, Jabez Jordon
came to tho door and rang a hand-bell
with great vigor. It seemed to some
of the larger boys and girls that the
notes of the bell sounded like a slogan
of defiance.
They had filed into the house rather
soberly, and were taking their seats,
when a yellow-and-white uncollared
dog of mongrel origin came sneaking
in, as if well aware of the fact that he
was an interloper. He was skulking
froward, casting furtivo glances
around him, when Jabez Jordon called j
out, in a harsb, high-pitched voice:
"Whose dog is that?"
Dan Roby, a boy of fifteen, replied:
"Ho is my dog, sir."
"Well, put him out! Don't you
know better than to bring a dog to
school?"
"I didn't intend to bring him. He
followed me of his own accord, aud I
couldn't drive him back. Come,
Tige!"
Tige refused to go, and Dan had to
grasp him by the hind legs and drag
him toward the door amid dolorous
whining and yelpiug. Some of the
boys aud girls laughed, whereupon
Jabez Jordon struck his desk with his
fist and said, sternly: "Silence!"
The effect was instantaneous. A
pin could have beeu heard to drop.
Tige, in tho meantime, was scratch
ing ou the closed door aud whining
for admittance. Five minutes later
Dora Harvey, a tardy comer, opened
tho door to cuter tho room, and Tige
darted in ahead of her, waggiug his
tail joyfully.
Jabez Jordon scowled fiercely.
"What did you go aud let that dog
in for?" he demanded of Dora Har
vey, who was ono of tho gentlest and
best girls in tho district. The smilo
on her face gave placej to a look of
combined fright and amazement.
"I—l didn't mean to let him in,
sir. He pushed in ahead of mo wheu
I opened tho door," said Dora.
"If you'd beeu here on time, it
wouldn't have happened," said Jabez.
Then he turned to Dan.
"Drag him c-f again and take him
home!" he shouted. "This isn't a
school for dogs!"
Tige was even more unwilling than
before to go out, and wheu Dan ap
proached, ran up aud down the aisles,
trying to evade capture. In his flight
Tige overturned the small wooden box
on which the water-pail stood, thero
by drenching himself from bead to
foot with icy water. More laughable
still, bo caught the descending pail on
his head, aud could not get it off, the
pail having dropped down around his
neck. In his frautic writliings, he
overturned a small wooden bench on
which Tommy Dodge aud "Henny"
Pope sat, ami they suddenly lay wail
ing on their backs in a pool of water.
"Get that beast out of here!" fairly
roared Jabez, striding down from the
platform toward Tige, who suddenly
extricated himself from tho pail and
took refuge under tho stove in the cen
tre of the room. Dan dragged him
out by the tail, and they went homo
together, neither boy nor dog return
ing that day.
This incident did not leave a very
favorable impression of Mr. Jordon in
the minds of his pupils. His pre
decessor, Mr. Haskins, had been a
gentle-spirited and kindly mau, and
somo of tho pupils remembered that
once, when Tige had followed Dan in
to tho schoolroom wheu Mr. Haskins
was teacher of the school, ho had said
gently, "I must ask you to take your
dog out, Dan, he attracts so much at
tention," and Mr. Haskins had allowed
the children to laugh unrobuked, and
had himself laughed over Dau's al
most unavailing efforts to remove
Tige.
The pupils of the Silver Maple
School speedily discovered that a sense
of humor did not form any part of Mr.
Jordon's mental make-up, and that he
was an unnecessarily und unreasona
bly harsh man, with no sympathy for
childhood and no disposition to con
cede auj thing to its ' rival teuden-
And now—suffices only to beguile
A gaping rustle to a vacant smile.
Then, oonsoious of his impotence, his
shame,
Ilis strength a farce, his majesty a name.
Shuddering he sinks; and silent, lays onoe
more
His kingly head against his prison floor.
Too proud to moan, too weak to conquer
fate,
Stares at the staring crowd in brooding
hate.
Yet—Desert-Born!—ln that dull throng
may b*
(That jackal-throng whom thou dost hate
as free)
One, king as thou! who sees, through prison
burs,
His I.yblan plain, his unattalnd starsl
—New York Independent.
I cies. Tho pupils were too obedient
for even a harsh and tyraunical man
like Jabez Jordon to find many ex
cuses for using the long birch rod he
kept on his desk; but when the rod
was used, it was with brutal Jorce and
ornel effect.
Mr. Jabez Jordon was extremoly
vain of his personal appearance. He
dressed well and with great care. He
even kept a small hand-mirror in his
desk, and although he assumed that
its purpose was to make pupils who
came to school with dirty faces look at
themselves, it was certain that at re
cess ho would sit with the mirror in
one hand and a pocket-comb in the
other, and as the boys expressed it,
"fuss with his hair."
This hair of his was noticeable for
its great abundance and glossiness. It
was black, and but lightly touched
with gray, although Jabez Jordon
was certainly nearly sixty years old.
He woro his hair in bushy curls and
waves all over his head, aud he was
almost continually tossing bis hair
about lightly with the tips of his
fingers. It was manifest to the eyes
and to the nostrils of his pupils that
Jabez Jordon made liberal use of
cinuamon-sceuted hair-oil. Even the
girls who disliked the teacher most
admitted that he had "awfully pretty
hair."
He was very indolent. During
tho noon hour he compelled the pupils
to leave tho schoolroom, in order that
he might sprawl on a couple of long
rooitatiou benches and take a nap.
Placing two benches side by side, he
would roll up bis overcoat for a pillow,
and stretching his long form out at
full length, sleep soundly. Sometimes
his snoring could be heard in the
schoolhouse yard.
Several weeks after the school
opened there carno a day in December
which was so unseasonably warm that
even the low fire in the big box-stove
rendered the room so hot that the
door and windows were opened. The
unusual warmth made tho teacher ex
tremely drowsy. He yawned and
stretched all the forenoon, aud al
most fell from his chair once or
twice.
Hastily eating his luncheon at noon,
he placed the two recitation benches
together, and bidding one of the
pupils to be sure to call him at five
minutes before one, stretched himself
out on tho benches and fell asleep.
The pupils were playing in the
yard, when Dan Koby's Tigo sud
denly ran out of the woods aud vaulted
the low fence separating the yard
from tho road. It was the first time
Tige had appeared at the schoohouse
since the day when he had been twice
ejected, for Dan bad taken care that
the dog did not follow him again.
Tigo was in high spirits. He barked
gloofully as he bounded ioward his
young master and other acquaintances.
Dan tried to send him back home,
but lie treated the command aa a
joke, and only barked and frisked
more joyously. The boys began
throwing sticks into the air for Tigo
to catch, and they sent him racing
madly after balls and stones.
Over in a corner of the yard eight
or nine littlo girls were playing tag.
Suddenly Lucy Sharpe, who was "it,"
stopped and said, gaspingly, with a
crimson face:
"Oh, I'm nearly dead for a drink of
waterl I'm going to tiptoe into the
schoolhouse and got a drink. I won't
wake tho teacher."
She ran lightly toward the house,
and stepped in softly. A moment
later she came hurrying out, her eyes
wearing a frightened look and her face
pale instead of red.
"O girlHl" she exclaimed. "What
do you think?"
"Why, what's the matter?" the
girls asked. She glanced back to
ward the schoolhouse, as if fearful of
pursuit, and then said, in an awe
stricken voi"e:
"The teacher hasn't got any hair!"
"What?"
"He hasn't! Not a speck of hair
has ho got on his head! He looks
just awful! Somebody has scalped
him, or something or other, for ho
hasn't got a hit of hair! It's all lying
on tho floor by him!"
"O-o-o-o Lucy Sharpe!"
"It's so!"
"Hadn't wo better wake him up an'
tell him his hair's gone?" asked Sally
Lee.
"He'll know it when he wakes up,
and won't ho make an awful fuss?
You just go and peek in the door and
see how dreadful he looks! And his
hair looks so funny thereon the floor 1'
The little girls ran swiftly toward
the schoolhouse, aud Tige, accepting
this as a challenge to give chase, sped
after them. They clustered about the
door, but Tinge darted into the school
houso.
In a moment he darted out again
with a great cluster of jet-black ourlo,
lightly touoked with gray, dangling
from his mouth! Away he sped, and
the little girls fled wildly in all direc
tions, quite terrified by what they had
seen.
Tige leaped a low stone wall and
ran a sho. t distance aoross a field of
stubble, r iid then lay down with his
trophy between his paws. Meantime
the boys v. ere watching the dog's per
formance.
"Dan Boby," said Lucy Sharpe,
"your dog has got the teacher's hair,
and he's eating it up!"
"Is it possible," exclaimed Dan,
"that all of that hair the teacher's so
fussy about is a wig?"
"It's something that's tumbled oil
while he's been sleeping, anyway,"
said Lucy.
"It iB a wig!" said Lew Ball. "I've
noticed that ho always tie 3 his hand
kerobief over his head and under his
chin when he takes a nap. If it's a
wig and Tige has it, you'd better get
hold of tjiat dog! There'll be a cy
clone here when the teacher wakes
up."
Dan and Lew ran in pursnit of
Tige, who fled swiftly across the field,
shaking the wig violently when he
saw them coming. The dog ran into
the woods, paying no heed to Dpu's
harsh cries of:
"You, Tige! Drop that! Drop it,
I tell you!"
Just as Tige and his two pursuers
disappeared over a ridge in the wcods
the door of the schoolhouse closed
with a bang, and all the windows were
pulled down violently. It was after
one o'clock when Jabez .Tordon thrust
his head out of a wiudow, with his
hat pushed down to his ears, and
amazod his pupils by saying, quite
meokly:
"Do any of you know what has be
come of my—my—hair—that is to
say, my wig?"
"Dan Roby's dog's got it. sir, if he
hasn't eat it all up by this time," said
Joe Carter.
"That miserable dog!" exclaimed
Jabez Jordon, whilo his face flamed
with wrath. A moment later he ap
peared at the door and asked: "Which
way did he go?"
"Over tho ridge in the woods, sir,"
answered Joe, as gravely as possible.
"Well, yon may all go home, for
there won't bo any more school to
day," said Jabez, and set out on arun
for the woods.
His pupils jnever saw him again.
Only a bedraggled remnant of the wig
was left whon Dan and Lew finally
captured Tige. Jabez Jordon took the
wrong trail, and did not overtake tho
dog and the boys. No onehad known
that the teacher's beautiful head of
hair was a wig, and his vanity was so
hurt by what had happened thathe re
fused to return to the school, and left
the neighborhood that afternoon, with
no oue to regret his departure.
The next week the pupils were
gladdened by the unexpected return
of Mr. Ilusltins, tho kindest and best
teacher the school had ever had. As
for Tige, if he was sorry for what ho
had doue, he made no sign of repen
tance, nor was he boastful of the good
turn he had served tho school by rid
ding it of a teacher who had mistaken
his calling.—Youth's Companion.
To Broaden the Child's Mind.
"My mother was the most interest
ing companion I ever knew," said a
very intelligent youug man. "She
taught me more than I ever learned
from books. She would take me into
the woods, sometimes, and amuse mo
for hours. She used just the material
near her, but that was onough. First
she would take a stone, and making
an object lesson out of it, would tell
me something about geology; then,
perhaps, if a butterfly were near, she
would take that for a subject, then
she would tell mo why the ground
was hilly or level; why the leaves
came out on the trees and then
dropped off, aud in a hundred ways
sho would teach me more than I could
have learned in weeks of tedious
study at school."
It is a lucky child that can have
such a parent, aud there ought to be
more of them. What child ever for
gets tho time ho was shown through a
big manufucturiug establishment?
Such object lessons impress them
selves indelibly on the child's mind,
and make excellent brain food. Take
him to the brickyard and explain the
process of manufacture, to an iron
foundry, to a flouring mill and any
other great enterprise that will open
his eyes to the way tho world is going.
In this way the child's mind will be
broadened and his powers of observa
tion awakened.—lndianapolis Sun.
Chicago's Ituslost Corner.
Wlieii policemen cannot sleep there
must bo something the matter. That
is the case with at least one of the
officers stationed at Clark and Adams
streets, and when a man climbs a
telegraph polo and lootts over the sit
uation at this corner calmly tho rea
son is apparent.
The intersection of these two streets
is undoubtedly the busiest corner in
Chicago at 1 lie present time. On eaoh
angle building operations are going
on, and to add to the joyful nature of
tho place workmen are tearing out
tho pavement on the northeast corner.
For weeks the Clark and Adams
street sectiou has been a bugboar to
pedestrians, teamsters, motormeu and
gripmen. At the southeast augle the
new Government building is being
ereoied, aud a high fence takes up
nearly one-third of tho street. Across
tho street to the west the Lakeside
building is being repaired. Just
"forniust" is tho groat excavation for
tho Marshall Field structure, and on
the other corner u new front has been
put in the building and the pavement
is torn up.—Chicago Inter-Ocean.
The population of the South Afrioun
Republic eoneiste of 03,090 Boers,
87,000 other whites, called Uitland
ers. and 609.000 Kaffirs and Zulus.
THAT CARTER CASE.
BIQ REPUBLICANS INVOLVED,
NO DOUBT.
That Is the Reason Why the Convicted
Army Officer Still Oratrs Ills Pay and
lines Not do to Prison Cause of
"Better" Times.
The people of the United States must
read with wonder and incredulity the
statement of Attorney-General Griggs
concerning the present status of the
Carter case, says the Atlanta Consti
tution. Over eighteen months ago this
man, who has been trusted by his
government and advanced to high
place in its service, was found guilty
of having defrauded it of over $1,600,-
000. In the evidence willch developed
the facts upon his trial it was shown
that from first to last he leagued with
men whose purpose was to rob the
government through his connivance.
The verdict of guilty which was won
from an unwilling court —unwilling in
the sense that its members were re
luctant to see a brother officer's rec
ord smirched because it would he a re
flection upon the service—was reaf
firmed in every channel through which
it went on its way to the president,
and then came a mysterious halt, dur
ing which time a convicted thief has
walked forth brazenly in the full uni
form of the United States military
service and has drawn his pay from
the treasury on an equality with hon
est men now in the service, as well as
those who have laid their lives down
upon the field of duty. Since the date
of that trial, humble privates, without
powerful influences, have been rail
roaded through the various meshes of
court-martial and have been forgotten.
Officers of rank have been rushed out
of the service, and everywhere has
been found celerity except in the one
case of Capt. Oberlin M. Carter. What
great and powerful influence is it that
stands behind this man which should
make a president hesitate in the en
forcement of a Just verdict? Why
should he have opportunities of revi
sion and reconsideration which arc not
equally open to other men? In speak
ing thus plainly the Constitution does
so from the standpoint of perfect
friendliness for the president of the
United States. Coming into office as
he did, when great international ques
tions were to be decided, it was no
time for partisan contention, which
might have been allowable in time of
peace. Therefore the Constitution has
uniformly upheld the hand of the pres
ident, because, In the face of the foe,
should be no division in our
ranks. The words which we employ
regarding Capt. Carter are no stronger
than those which have been hurled at
him by the leading Republican news
papers of the country; but we have a
special right to insist upon Justice to
him which does not belong to other
states. In the distribution of the pub
lic funds for public improvement
Georgia is entitled to her equal share.
As developed upon the trial of Capt.
Carter, he engaged deliberately in the
theft of over $1,600,000 of money ap
propriated to the state of Georgia. He
has abused the confidence of the gen
eral government which sent him into
Georgia. He has robbed this state cf
the money which was appropriated 16
its betterment, and the los 3 of which
we must suffer for all time. His
offense, therefore, was a crime against
the state of Georgia, for which we
have a right to demand, now that he
has been convicted by every legal
channel, that sentence shall be en
forced. What is the president going
ot do about it? Is he going to permit
the influences which are ever ready
to rob the government to shield the
criminal, and thus smirch the admin
istration? The president might as well
understand that such talk as that en
gaged in by Attorney-General Griggs
will not be relished by the people.
They are in no humor to have a crim
inal given his freedom because a dila
tory lawyer wants to take a trip to
Europe. If that lawyer wants to do
business, let him get to his post. If
not, some one else can take his place.
The public will hold the president to
responsibility for the acts of his agents
unless he intervenes at once and shows
by decision that he is uninfluenced by
the unworthy element which would
smirch his name and character.
Victory In Eighth Miflnourl.
Influences are at work with a view
of demonstrating that the election of
Judge Shackleford in the Eighth Mis
souri congressional district is a vindi
cation of some new-found Democratic
gospel and its sponsors. As a matter of
fact, the campaign was fought out on
the old lines. Here is the full text of
the official campaign letter sent to
each voter in the district—Democratic,
Republican and Populist. It is signed
by the chairmen of the congressional
and state committees;
"The result of the election to be held
In this district Aug. £9 is made doubly
important by the fact that it is re
garded by both the great parties as
the opening engagement of the great
battle of 1900. The contest rises above
all personal considerations. The nom
inee of the Democratic party stands for
the restoration of silver coinage.against
the further increase of the national
debt by the substitution of national
bank currency for the present green
back circulation; against a big standing
army, which the imperialistic policy of
the present Republican administration
makee necessary, and against the dan
gerous aggregation of trusts which
have reached such startling propor
tions under the protecting Influence of
Hannalsm. The Republican nominee In
this contest is the avowed advocate of
the single gold standard, and if 'elected
to congress will vote with his party
not only against restoring silver to its
coinage rights, but also to wipe out
the present greenback circulation and
substitute for It national bank cur
rency by which an interest-bearing
debt will be substituted for a popular
currency which entails no burden upon
the people. The Republican nominee
also stands for the Imperialistic policy
of President MeKlnley, which has for
Its purpose the establishment of colo
nial dependencies similar to those of
Great Britain, a policy which entails a
constantly Increasing standing army
and completely reverses the principles
upon which the American republic was
founded."
The above should settle the contro
versy over the lines on which the bat
tle was fought and the victory won.
All the speakers followed the Instruc
tions to keep the money issue to the
front. The so-called Populist candi
date was what we call a middle-of-the
roader. That brand of Populists are
against silver. They bear no relation
to the Kansas-Nebraska Populists. The
regular Popullste of tbe Eighth district
made no nomination and supported
Shackleford. It was a victory for sil
ver and fusion, and nobody can make
anything else out of It.—Press Bulletin.
Monopolies Ridden.
Of all the corporation-ridden coun
ties In California, I am persuaded that
Kern county Is the worst. One com
pany owns all the water and the major
portion of the land upon which the
people are living. The company has
400.000 acres, and a larger portion ol
all that is under cultivation. When
the people want water a conversation
something like the following ensues:
People—Whose water Is this?
Company—This is our water.
P.—What! AH the water In the
river?
C. —Yes, of course; this Is all ours.
P.—How came It all to be yours?
C. —Why, we claim it!
P. —But you do not need it all, and
we do. How can we get It?
C.—By working on the land and
growing grain and raising live stock
with which to pay for It.'
P.—Well, then, we will go to work;
and what will you charge us for water
on this piece of land?
C.—Ah, but this is our land!
P. —What! All this land where the
ditches are?
C. —Yes. certainly. Why Bhould we
run our ditches and our water off our
own land?
P.—To be sure. Well, how did you
get all this land?
C.—Why, we bought It, of course.
You do not think that a respectable
company would steal It. do you?
P.—Well, no, we did not think so;
but how did you get the money?
C. —We sold the water which we
claimed and bought It.
P.—But you cannot use all of It; nor
do you need it all. Cannot we have
some land upon which to grow the
grain with which to buy water?
C. —Yes, Indeed, you can have all
you want. We will rent It to you and
sell to you the water and take the
grain and the live stock which you
raise and buy more land to rent and
build more ditches to carry water
which we will sell to other farmers
who will go and do as these faithful
farmers are doing. Why, if It were
not for the company the farmers would
have no water and no land and would
starve. Blessed be the name of the
company!— Class Struggle.
Gold Crop*.
There are several districts in the
world where gold may be said to grow
every season. One is In the Edmonton
country, in the Canadian Northwest,
where, after the spring floods, there
are taken every year from the banks
and bed of the Saskatchewan river
considerable quantities of gold. Bui
the most conspicuous and Interesting
case of this sort is to be seen near
Ichang, in the province of Hupeh,
China. For many centuries past each
year gold has been washed from the
banks of coarse gravel on both sides
of the River Han, and In the midst ot
the auriferous district there is an an
cient town called 1.1-ktu-tien, which
means "gold-diggers' inh." Its inhab
itants subdivide the gold-bearing
ground among themselves annually,
staking out their claims with parti
tions. The annual river floods bring
down millions of tons of mud and sand
from the mountains, which is charged
with gold, both "fine" and in flakes.
The Two lowa CanflMl.lci
From the Omaha World-Herald: By
the way, speaking of defending the
country's honor, Fred White, demo
cratic nominee for governor of lowa,
was wearing the uniform of a soldier
of Uncle Sam and fighting his country's
battles while Leslie M. Shaw, Repub
lican candidate for governor of lowa,
was laying the foundations of his for
tune by loaning money at a healthy
rate of Interest and living in security
far from the din of martial strifs.
Her Wayward lloy.
In Launceston (Tasmania) a mother
of 90 years brought her son of 72 to the
benevolent asylum to be looked after.
The poor lad had apparently taken up
with bad companions and fallen into
had habits. The other day his speech
was certainly thick, while from the
odor of his clothes and breath her
worst fears were aroused—she'd every
reason to suspect that he'd begun
smoking. The asylum superintendent
took charge of the bairn, and promised
to let his mother know If he miscon
ducted himself so she might come and
correct him. Tasmania has always been
reckoned healthy, but this Launces
ton example points to the profound
clairvoyance of Swift In imagining a
land of Struldbrugs.—Sydney Bulletin.
Mrh. Smythe—"l wonder why old
china is so rare and valuable." Mrs.
De Jones—"Why, I thought you kept a
servant."
THE MERRY SIDE OE LIFE.
STORIES THAT ARE T">LD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF Tul PRESS.
Letters and the Man—A Man of Method
—Whose the lilwme?— Indelibly Im
printed All Talk Giving Herself
Away— Beyond Expectations, Ete.
For mischief done naught can amend
! The letters men have failed to send.
j And hearts are pierced with harsh intent
By letters better left unsent.
Great woe comes to us. I believe,
From letters that we don't receive.
| But heaviest on our soul do sit
Those letters that I've never writ.
—Chicago Record.
A Man of Method.
''lsn't Stubbins rather irregular in
his habits?"
"No; when he borrows he never
pays."
Whose the Blame?
"It is false, absolutely false!" she
exclaimed. "He never kissed me."
"His fault or yours?" inquired her
dearest friend iusiuuatingly.
Indelibly Imprinted.
"I shall never forget that lady lec
turer; she made a profound impres
sion on me."
"By her intellect?"
"No; she wore a baby-blue sash
pinned crooked at the back."
All Talk.
Smith—"You say that you nave a
speaking acquaintance with Brown,
yet I notice you never speak on the
street to him."
Jones—"No; my speaking acquaint
ance with Brown occurred over a tele
phone."—Judge.
Giving Herself Awny.
Mrs. Baiubridge—"She doesn't be
long to the best society."
Mrs. Marshmallow—"Doesn't she?"
Mrs. Baiubridge—"No, she doesn't.
Why, would yon believe it, anybody
can read her handwriting at the first
trial."—Judge.
Beyond Expectations.
"How did your picnic pan out?"
was asked of the cynic, who had gone
against his will.
"Great! Never so well satisfied iQ
my life. I counted on rain, but we
had hail and a young cyclone in addi
tion."—Detroit Dree Press.
At the Clrrns.
x
ill
Ml 0
Jam-
Something hew in hydraulics.
Retort Courteous.
"I putiish you," aaid the fond
mother, "my child, to show my love
for you."
"It isn't necessary," replied the
bright child, "for your love to work
overtime on my account, ma."—Pick-
Me-Ijp.
The MonK-Servlce Alter the Sermon.
"Did you hear the music, Edith?*
"Oh, yes."
"Cau you tell me how it sounded?"
"It sounded—it sounded like an
ice-cream soda tistes, mamma, just
after one has been to a funeral."
Judge.
OaU'luued,
"You must remember," said the
proud Yankee girl, "that I am a
Daughter of the Revolution."
"Pooh!" exclaimed the beautiful,
darked-eyed woman from Central
America, "I am a Daughter of Six
Revolutions."—Chicago Times-Her
ald.
Reasoning It Out.
"Judge, they are accusing you of
favoring your friends and being too
sovere on your enemies when you get
a chance at them."
"Oh, well, it will average up all
right in tho long run, so justice in the
abstract is none the loser." Indiana
polis Journal.
Out landers.
She (at the depot)—"lt must b
awfully hard for these poor foreigner
who come to this country to find them
selves straugers in a strange land,"
He—"Oh, they don't mind it! You
see, they are used to it, having been
born and raised in foreign lands."
She—"True; I never thought of
that."—Chicago News.
A French Court-Martial.
First Witness—"The prisoner is in
nocent!"
Second Witness—"The prisoner is
guilty!"
First Witness (defiantly)— "Of pre
cisely what is the prisoner guißy?"
Second Witness (more defiantly)
"Of precisely what is the prisoner in
nocent?"
First Witness—"Ha!"
Second Witness—"Hal"
(Red fire and threats to olear the
court loom if applause continues)
Washington Star.
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