Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, July 10, 1899, Image 2

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    Freeland Tribune
Established 1888.
PUBLISHED EVEKY
MONDAY AND THURSDAY,
BY THE
TRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY. Lllitsi
OFFICE: MAIN STREET ABOVE CENTRE.
FREELAND, PA.
SUBSCRIPTION RATES:
One Year $1.50
t>ix Mouths ... 75
Four Months 50
Two Mouths 25
Tbe date which tho subscription is paid to
la on the address label of each paper, the
change of which to a subsequent date be
comes a receipt for remittance. Keep the
figures in udvuuce of the present date, lie
port promptly to this office whenever paper
is not received. Arrearages must bo puid
when subscription is discontinued.
Male all moniy orders, checl:*, etc,,payable
to the Tribune frintinj Company, Limited.
The governor-general of Guam, the
newly acquired possession of Uucle
Sam out on the Pacific, is very nicely
located. He has the island for a
building spot aud the ocean for au out
look.
More than 15,000,000 visits are paid
cntiually to London pawnbrokers, or,
to be more exact, 11,000 a day on au
average. The number of pledges de
posited throughout the country is said
to amount to 190,000,000 every year.
There is'an interesting item in the re
port of tho librarian of Bishopsgate in
stitute, London. According to the read
ing done in the free library of that build
ing for one day there were 510 per
sons who chose works of fiction, 51
who selected books of travel and his
tory, 00 biography,2s natural sciences,
and so on down the list to philosophy
aud religion, for which there were 15
readers. There is something voi y sig
nificant in a comparison betweeu the
extremes. Scarcely a century ago the
order would very likely have been re
versed.
Italy has determined to negotiate
peacefully with Colombia for the set
tlement of the Cerutti claim, instead
of trying to enforce its payment under
the threatening or thundering guns of
one of her warships, thus accepting
the friendly suggestion of the United
States, which wishes equally well to
both countries. Approached in this
amicable spirit, there is no doubt that
an equitable aud satisfactory settle
ment of the claim will be reached
without any expenditure or threats or
gunpowder. That is much the best
way every time.
Secret service men always have an
Inclination to emphasize the impor
tance of their work, and when they
deal with counterfeiters their pub
lished reports have a sensational fla
vor that sometimes tends to make
them excellent literature for "green
goods" swindlers. Notwithstanding
this tendency, the capture of a gang
of counterfeiters in Pennsylvania, to
gether with their materials of mauu- ■
£acture,must be regarded as a credita
ble achievement. The detected con- ;
spiracy is remarkable for its elaborate
organization, extensive plant aud tho
youth en its members.
Some writers of natural history
books for youth say that the seiqent
always devours its own kind, when so
inclined, tail foremost. This peculiar
ity lias been so often repeated that it
* is generally believe 1. At dinner time
the other day in the reptile house of
the Loudon Zoological Garden a live
rabbit was fed to a boa. The reptile
crushed his prey and then began to
devour it in the usual fashion, but be
fore it had entirely disappeared down
his maw a huge python shot forth and
seized the half engulfed rabbit, and,
after swallowing it, began on tho boa.
The head of the boa and a good por
tion of his body had disappeared be
fore the keeper came to the rescue and
attempted to withdraw the smaller
reptile from his unusual retreat. As
this mode of procedure failed to make
the python disgorge, the latter was
seized and beaten with a whip. This
was more to the point, aud the boa
finally wriggled free and betook him
•self to a corner of tbe cage, minus,
however, his dinner. This little inci
dent goes to show that reptiles, under
extraordinary circumstances at least,
will swallow their kind head foremost.
A Turning Headlifrht.
Among recent inventions is a loco
motive headlight which, when the
train i 3 rounding a curve, turns in
ruch a manner as to keep its projected
shaft of light continually upon the
rails, instead of pointing off to one
side, as occurs with a stationary head
light. The motion of the headlight is
controlled by means of an air cylin
der, connected with the air brake sys
tem of the train and regulated by a
valve in the cab. When the locomo
tive strikes a straight section of track
the headlight automatically returns to
nroper Dosition
At the present rate of increase the
population of Kdinburgh (now 295.028)
will reach the 300,000 mark in less than
two years.
BE SERIOUS. I
iVe don't know what might happen, so we
better have a care,
Ind start to cultivate a hump for burdens ]
j we must bear.
j Ohl let us all be serious and leave off (
pranks and tricks,
And act with all that stateliness attributed '
to sticks;
Vnd let it bo our duty, when the sounds of ]
laughter rise,
| To move upon such thoughtlessness an av- .
alauche of Ice.
We don't know what might happen, so we
better have a care,
And rub the soft spots out of life—its dim- .
pies—as it were.
Ohl let us all bo serious, and keep our 1
faces straight,
And not be fooled by little joys Into the !
, toils of fate;
Let not a song of brighter days a flow'r of
beauty burst,
And ir we hug a hope at all, ohl hope 'tis
for the worst.
j :
ODE JUSTIFIABLE CRIME ANB HOW IT ENDED
i.
LD man, I want
K your advice."
Debenham broke
a piece of silence
lasted
nj some ten minutes
sJjSBj- H or so, and during
/TflßSjflß which be bad sat
f KB"— frowning at the
& tire. I bad been
studying bis face and, being prepared
for his words, I answered that be was
welcome to tbe best counsel I could
give, whereupon ho thanked me very
earnestly and threw himself buck in
bis easy-cbair.
"It's a rather curious affair," bo be
gan diffidently. "It bnppoued last
night. I wanted to go out to Bays
' water to see my old nurse, who lives
there. I took the trolley car. As I
l dare say, you remember it was a nasty
night, wet and foggy, and tbe car was
soon full; in fact by tbe time we
reached Wcstbourue Grove wo picked
up our last passenger. She was a
young lady."
"And of course you contrived that
she should sit by you," I said.
"You would have done the same
yourself," Debeubamjretorted. "Any
man would, for she had tbe sweetest
face. It's haunted me all night—it
bus, really. I dare say she was about
eigtbteen, or perhaps twenty—not
. more. IHhe bad brown eyes, very
brown eyes—you know, tbe kind that
seem to speak, almost—and they were
shaded by long lashes. She bad
brown hair, too; the kind of hair tbft
twists into a lot of curls—natural curls,
you know. I wondsr why all girls
don't wear their hair that way. Then
, her mouth—her mouth "
"Never mind her mouth," I inter
posed hastily, seeing that he was about
to indulge in an extrnvagaut Hood of
rhapsody. "It was an ideal mouth,
I haven't a doubt, nnd I'm sure that
her chin was all that a chin ought to
be, but these special features, I take
it, have nothing to do with your story."
"Weil—er—not exactly, but you'd
understand a fellow raving about her
if you'd seen her. Of course I can't
make you understand what she was
like. She was the sort of girl you feel
yon can never describe."
"Just so; a regular unique speci
men. I know the kind."
"Indeed you don't, for there isn't
another girl in the world like her."
"Well, well, then, there isn't," I
returned impatiently. Tho fact was
Debenham had come to my rooms so
often with the same story that it was
be coming a trifle monotonous.
"She sat down next to me," he went
on. "There wasn't much room, and
she thanked me when I moved. Slie
had the sweetest voice."
"Well, there's nothing curious about
that. I believe you said "
"I'm coming to it if you'll only give
me time," lie returned, in an aggrieved
tone. "You've no patience. It was
when the conductor camo round for
fares. Then she ielt for her purse;
she found it was missing. At first slio
thought she must have dropped it, and
I searched the floor and under the
seat. However, it wasn't there. Poor
girl! I never saw anyone so distressed
in my life. It seemed she had .$25 in
it, and it was evidently quite afortuue
to her. Well, I paid her fare for her
aud we got out together."
"I don't think you ueed tell mo any
more," I said dryly.
■ Debenham stared.
"Why not?"
"Because I know the rest."
"How the "
"Yes, I do. You lent her tho $25,
of course. My dear fellow, you've been
'done.'"
"I didn't do anything of tho kind!"
Debenham retorted hotly. "She
wouldn't let me. That's what I came
to ask your advice about. I thought
that as you were a lawyer you might
he able to suggest something, but I
wish I'd never mentioned it to you."
Of course I hastened to soothe his
milled plumes, nnd in a little while he
went on with his tale. It appeared
that he had seen her home, and that
ho had learned her name. It was
Cliarnley—Kate Charnley. She was a
dressmakor and lived with her sister.
ii.
"Aud you want to help them, eh?"
t said after a time.
"Yes, but it'll bo a difficult matter.
They're a clergyman's daughters, and
very proud. I don't see what I can
do. It's awfully riling, you know,
Ivenuion, to have a pile of money and
| not be able to do a little good with it
once in away. It's a shame tliq t this
girl should have to slave at a sewing
machine all day while a great strong
I beggar like me lounges around killing
! time."
| "I suppose vou want to refund this
i $25."
"Yes. I can't do more; but I don't
even see how I can do that."
"Well, you might order a gown of
tome sort from them."
Wo don't know what might happen, so we
better havo a care,
For what we have to make us glad Is but a
trap and snare.
Oh! lot us all be serious, and view with
doubt nnd gloom
The glorious sun in deep-blue ekies, the
beauteous earth abloom;
Perhaps the glad songs that we hear but
voice the bright birds' woes,
And sweet perfumes are flower tears—ob,
there is no one knowsl
We don't know what might happen, so we
better have a care,
And start to cultivate a hump for burdens
we must bear.
Ohl let us all bo serious, and never crack a
grin,
Lest microbes of tho glad sunshine our be
ings enter in:
No, let us humbly stand and wait till all
life's joys grow numb,
Our faces straight, our backs a-bump ready ;
for ills to come.
—John P. Sjolauder, in Galveston News.
"Don't be an ass; men don't buy
gowns."
"You could say it was for your sis
ter."
"But I haven't got a sister, aud if
I had she'd never let me choose her
gowns for her; besides, she'd havo
to bo fitted on and all that you kuow."
I was obliged to admit the force of
these arguments, and a fresh period
of silence intervened. Debeuliam had
risen, aud was pacing tho floor iu a
state of perplexity.
"How would it be if I inclosed tho
money in au envelope and sent it
anonymously?" he said at length.
"You might do that, rertainly," I
replied after a little consideration.
"But she'd be sure to kuow who '
sent it."
"Well, that doesn't matter, as you
are not likely to see her again."
Debenham stopped and turned his
eyes full upon me.
"What's that? Not see her again?
But I must see her again. I—l feel
that my fate is—er —linked with that
girl, Reunion."
"Oh, very well; then that squashes
the idea entirely, unless , Look
here, why not assume the character of
the thief yourself, aud send her a letter
saying you liuto repented aud return
the mcuey?"
"But I don't want her to think that
I'm a bad lot."
"Well, she needn't know that you
sent it. You cau pretend to bo an
ordinary pickpocket."
"So I can. I never thought of that.
By Jove, it's a graud idea! Where's
tho pen and ink? What shall I say?
Give us a lift, old chap. You're a dab
hand at this sort of thing."
I took up my pen, aud after a lit
tle thought, dashed off the following I
letter:
"Dere miss—This is from me, the
bloke wat tuk yer purse I seus the
rnuuy bale bekause yer father wos ouce
very kind ter me when I wos down on
mi luck, an I nors yer need it a sight
more than I does, yer humble servant,
Bill Nokes."
"How will that do?" I said, as I
toxssod it across the table.
"Splendid—splendid!" he cried, as
he ran his eyes over it. "It's worthy
of Bill Sikes himself. I'll send it oil
this very minute." Aud he thrust it
in an envelope in company with the
money.
"You'll let mo know how it an
swers?" I said, as he took up his hat.
"Ob, yes." Aud then with a hasty
good-night, lie went flying down the
stairs to catch the post.
111.
Tho following morning it happened
that a matter of business took me in
the vicinity of Debenham's chambers,
aud, having half an hour to spare, I
determined to call aud seo if he had
heard anything iu connection with his
plot.
As I was about to enter his sitting
room, however, I heard the Bound of
voices, nnd a hasty glance showed me
that he was eugiged. A young lady
was standing by the table, facing De
benham, who lcoked as guilty as any
schoolboy caught in au orchard.
"I got it back this morning," the
girl was saying. "A man who is em
ployed on the railway picked it up as
lie was on his way to his work."
"I—l am very glad," Debenham
murmured nervously. "Ho must havo
been au honest fellow."
"Yes," she said. "But the strange
part of it is that by this morning's
post there came a letter from a—a
thief, inclosing $25. You cau read
it if you like."
Aud she liauded him the precious
missive I had concocted.
He read it in feigned astonishment.
"I never heard of such a curious
thing," ho murmured. It's positively
Of course, this childlike attempt at
deception didn't deceive the girl.
"Mr. Debenham," she said, "yon
wrote this letter; you sent this note."
"I? Really, Miss "
"Oh, vesyoudid. It's no use deny
ing it. No one else kucw of our
loss."
There was a pause. Debenham
stood looking very red and foolish.
"Come, you'd better confess," she
said at length.
He rumpled his hair iu a reckless
fashion.
"It seems impossible for a fellow to
do a good action in this world!" he
cried. "He's sure to bo fouud out!"
"Then you did send it?"
"Ye-es. You see, you wouldn't let
me help you, and so—so it struck me
that it would be a capital idea to pre
teud that I was tho thief" (the hum
bug! his idea, indeed!) "I never ,
thought for a moment that you'd see
your purse again, and if you hadn't
done so, my little dodge would never
have come to light."
"No, I dou't think it would," eke
answered, "for that was a most realis
tic letter you wrote."
Debenham groaned.
"You can't think what an effort it
cost me," he said.
What an effort, indeed!
"I do hope you will lot me keep it
as a memento?"
"Yes—if you will promise to forgive
mo?"
"Oh, there is nothing to forgive! It
was very good of you."
At this moment I caught a glimpse
of her face, aud I was forced to admit
that Debenham had some reason for
his extravagant praise.
"And you will not thinjr the worse
of me for--for trying to deceive you?"
he weut on. Keally, he was getting
positively absurd, from his voice one
would have supposed that he was a
prisoner suing for his life.
"Oh, I think better of you!" she
cried. "I shall never forget your
kindness." Aud as she gavo him her
hand she blushed in a ridiculous
fashion.
Then Debenham made an ass of
himself. Instead of simply shak
ing hands and saying good morning,
he held her - Augers aud said nothing,
but just stared at her in a moon
struck kind of way that was quite
idiotic, and she dropped her head like
a little silly aud went the color of a
peony; then . But at this point 1'•
couldn't stand it any longer, and I
quietly withdrew.
Of course, I was not in the least as
tonished when Debenham rushed into
my chambers the same afternoon and, !
with a good deal of stammering, con
fessed that he was engaged. He
seemed quite amazed when I betrayed
no surprise, but I didn't tell him that
I had been a witness of his folly.
I was presented to the future Mrs.
Debenham and her sister a few days
later. When Debenham asked what j
i thought of her I told him she war j
one of the nicest girls I had ever met, j
but, as a matter of fact, she is much j
inferior to her sister. I don't mind j
admitting indeed, that she is thenicesl
girl I have ever met, and I Bhouldn'l
wonder
But there, that's "another story."
HE HAD FOUND HER.
How Mr. I'riiiilcy Knew Miss Willowbj i
Was His Ideal.
"Do you believe iu territorial ex- 1
pansion, Miss Willowby?"
"Well, to tell the truth," the beau- }
' tiful girl replied, "I haven't given'
onough study to that question to know
anything about it."
Mr. Primley twisted his mustache
for a moment and then asked:
"Are you in favor of an Anglo-
Saxon alliance?"
"Oh, dear, I can't say. I haven'l
paid any attention to that subject. 1
confess that I am as ignorant as c
child where public matters are con
cerned."
"Then you haven't become inter
ested in any of the reform movements'
"No, I dou't consider myself cap
able of taking up aud discussing those
things."
"Do you take much interest in
science and are you in the habit of
discussing the beauties of classical
music, using technical terms, or arc
you an amateur literary critic, or dc
you ever talk to people about the great
moral problems that are claiming the
attention of so many of our learned
women nowadays?"
"No, I'm ashamed to have to con
fess it, but I have found it impossible
to get any of those things through luy
head sufficiently to dare to talk about
them."
"You don't know anything about
politics or socialism in its new sense,
or the 'inlluence of the Compendium
as Applied to the Concomitants of
Paleolithic Abnegation,' do you?"
"I—l am afraid I don't," she timidly
replied.
"Say," he suddenly exclaimed,
"will you be my wife?"— Chicago,
Becord.
California's Fruit Production.
The wonderful advance of Califor
nia in fruit production is shown in
the recently-issued annual report ol
the President of the California Board
of Trade. This advance is most con
spicuous iu citrus fruits, the ship
ment of which in 1898 amounted to
180,588 tous, as compared with 34,209
tons in 1890. Los Angeles leads in
this particular, being credited with
107,738 tons out of the total. Eiver- -
side County, San Bernardino, Orange
and San Diego follow in the order
named. These are all southern coun
ties, but central aud northern coun
ties also have entered this field with
much success. Stockton shipped
last year 2985 tons, Marysville 2596,
and Sacramento 303. A stimulus to
the industry in the vicinity of these
cities is given by the fact that the
northern fruit ripens earlier than the
southern, owing to the higher temper- 1
ature of the northern summer. This
brings it into market at a time when
there is practically no competition
from the southern belt. The ship
ments of green decidous fruits in
creased from 34,042 tons iu 1890 to
07,177 tons iu 1898. Dried fruit ex
ports in the latter year were 76,662
tous, aud canned fruits 47,897 tous.
Heady When the Next] Hurricane Came.
Ed Walter, a well-to-do colored I
man living uear Sprague Junction,
Ala., Lad his crib aud stables blown
away by tho storm which passed
through there the other week. His
house and family escaped, and he
went at once to work and dug a storm
pit in his yard, iu the event auofher
such storm came along. The other
day when tho storm that passed
through that territory was seen ap
proaching he took his family, not for
getting his dog, and went into his 1
hole in tho ground. When the storm
passed over he found his house scat- I
tered over a ten-acre field and his
household goods in the tops of trees. '
Some of his meat was found 400 yards
from the house. He thinks but for
his storju pit not a member of his
family would be left. 1
I WOMAN'S WORLD. |
*feeeee6c €*••
A WOMAN'S THRILLING ADVENTURE.
Vanquished a Gliazl, Armed and mounted
With a Horsewhip.
There is a plucky little English
woman out in Sibi, in Northwestern
Initio, who recently fought aud van
quished a Ghazi who had placed her
husband temporarily hors du combat.
The Ghazi was armed with a sword
and mounted on a horse, while she
was afoot, and her ouly weapon was a
stout horsewhip. The tribesmen out
there are treacherous fellows, and they
have not yet forgiven the English for
encroaching upon their territory.
Every once in a while they ambush
an officer 01 attack and maltreat a
helpless woman; but almost as often
they are caught, and you can trust the
Englishmen for it that in these cases
the punishment is made to tit the
crime. This particular Ghazi has gone
out of the business tot good.
The wornau who knows how to do
fend herself is Mrs. Spence, wife of an
English army officer. Captain Spence
aud his wife were out driving when,
iu a lonely part of the country, they
saw this Ghazi come galloping toward
them. As the man approached he
drew his sword and made a vicious
cut at Captain Spence, who was un
armed. The Captain stood up in his
trnp and lashed at the Ghazi with his
driving whip. This caused the Indian's
horse to swerve so much that the
sword fell just short of the Captain s
head. But in striking at the Ghazi
Captain Speuce lost his balance and
fell under his trap, where he was
caught by one of the wheels aud pinned
[ down for a time.
i As he fell Mrs. Spence snatched the
whip from his hand aud pluckily
jumped from the trap to defend hiui.
By this time the Ghazi had wheeled
on the road and was making another
rush. Mrs. Spence instantly stood
between her husband and the man,
and there received the Ghazi's attack,
j whip in hand, cutting at him and his
1 horse aud calling out for help. By
making vigorous uso of her whip she
j kept the Ghazi off and diove him
| away.
A second charge was similarly re
pulsed, except that on this occasion
the Ghazi's cuts came more perilously
near, and Mrs. Spence was knocked
down. By this time Captain Spence (
had extricated himself from beneath j
the wheel of the trap (where he sus- \
tained several severe bruises and a
cracked rib) and rau to his wife's
assistance, and when the Ghazi made
his third rush he was driven off by
Captain Spence, and made off at a
gallop.
Mrs. Spence then helped her ex
hausted husband into the trap and,
taking the lines herself, drove back to
their quarters. She was able to give
a good description of their assailant,
and in a short time there was a party
out in pursuit of him. Ho was over
taken and, after a vain attempt to
escape, made a stand, and was cut to
pieces.
Mrs. Spence now carries a revolver
when she goes out driving, and, as she
is a good shot, it is likely that the
next Ghazi who attempts to kill her
will meet with a great surprise.—Now
York Press.
Unro New lUbhoim. #
Everything that can bo possibly
trimmed with yards upon yards of nar
row gathered ribbon is trimmstf with
it. It comes all prepared in narrow
lute string width, with a cording down
the center. A pull on one of the rib
bons turns the cord into a drawstring,
though the ribbon can bo quite as
prettily put to very orthodox uses.
The commanding beauty of color and
unusual charm of decoration of the rib
bons have inspired some thoughtful
soul to set the fashicn of having shirt
waists made of lengths of ribbon laid
together. The ribbon edges are united
by a beading on a very narrow lace in
serting or a piping of some satin in a
solid color.
Such shirt waists are made with the
ribbon running lengthwise or cross
wise of the figure, and are the result
of the strenuous effort to find some
thing new in fancy bodices that threaten
to be done to death. Another species
of ribbon very much used for this pur
pose is the rich whito or mauve satin
article striped with black velvet. A
richer fabric than this it is impossible
to find, and the ribbon par excellence
for the hordes of muslin frocks soon
to be materializing about us is a very
much grained taffeta that is soft withal
and edged with a narrow chined floral
band that finishes in fringe. The
fringe is merely tho raveled edge of
the ribbon and is stamped with the
floral pattern, too.
The new way of using a ribbon
round the neck is to buy one three or
four inches wide, pass it twice round
the throat, tie a bow under the chin,
carry the ends down to the waist, knot
a smaller bow there and then let two
sliced tabs fall three inches below this
second bow, which is made fast to the
dress or shirt waist by means of an
ornamental pin.
Pretty fronts are made of colored
tulle powdered with large silk dots
and worn as above described, while
cut white crystal buttons, some of
them as big as tho tops of decanter
stoppers, and some of them with little
pictures in their depths, have made
every other species of button look
eminently passe.—Boston Post.
To Improve the £yel>ro\rg nncl Lashe*.
A solution of rose water will prove
an excellent lotion for the eyelashes.
They should be bathed with it every
morning. A little powdered borax iu
water is also good, or even a still
smaller quantity of carbonate of soda.
If a child lias perfectly strong, healthy
eyes the lashes may be improved by
occasionally slightly trimmiug them,
but thin praotice should be discon
tinued as one reaches maturer years.
Brushing the eyebrows and eye
lashes every morning with a solution
of green tea improves them. There
is no better lotion for the eyes than
salt water.
An excellent wash for red, tired eye
lids is composed of a small quantity
of sulphate of zinc dissolved in ti
quart of water. Tho eyes should be
bathed in a little of this twice daily
and gently dried with a soft rag. I
have known this wash to cure ob
stinate cases of weak eyes.
Smooth, glossy eyebrows, and long,
dark lashes add wonderfully to the
beauty of a face, and women should
caro for these necessary adjuncts to
their good looks. If the brows are
thin and ill-formed rub pure grease
or vaseline on them at night, bathis£
them carefully in cold water in the
morning and then putting on a little
petroleum. Never brush nor rub the
brows the wrong way. Brush them
daily with a small eyebrow brush, and
you will find an improvement.—Ladies'
Home Journal.
The Woman's Burden.
The address of Charlotte Stetson
Perkins at the dollar dinner was one
of the brightest on the list, and yet it
is possible that Mrs. Perkins may have
led her hearers to an erroneous con
clusion by saying that ''women must
be made conscious that they ought not
to consume the fruits of labor and do
nothing in return."
There are those who believe that in
the division of the day's work the
woman not only does her share but as
a rule does rather more than her
share. Mr. Evarts's witty eulogiiun on
the Pilgrim mother, that she not only
endured all the hardships of the Pil
grim father but had to endure the
Pilgrim father besides, is applicable
to other mothers and wives.
When in addition to the burden of
wifehood and motherhood woman has
to do tho cooking and washing and
scrubbing and housekeeping and
marketing and nursing for the nation,
without any iixed rate of wages or any
chance of forming a uuiou and going
011 a strike, or any claim for a dividend
on her investment, it is rather strain
ing a point to assume that woman is
consuming the fruits of labor and do
ing nothing in return. "When the ac
count is squared it is possible that in
the average American household the
balance is on the other side.—.New
York World.
How to Wear Jewels.
Few out of the large number of
women who possess brilliant jewels
wear theui becomingly. Strange as
it may seem, brilliant jewelry in close
contact with the face is unbecoming
and tho neck is the worst possible
place for its display. It is shown to
best advantage on the hair or corsage
where the liair or material of the
gown separates it from contact with
the skin of the wearer.
The possession of jewels, such as
diamonds, emeralds, rubies, pearls,
etc., implies wealth, but tho vulgarity
of wearing jewels simply because they
are costly is undoubted, while the
wearing of much jewelry during the
morning or upon tho street is equally
so.
Many of the cheaper grades of
jewels are very beautiful and are bo- I
coming to the majority of women—
corals, pink and red, just now so
fashionable, cameos and carved ivory
are most effective and are, in most
cases, more becoming than the flashy
jewels of untold value.—American
Queen.
FiuWt of Fashion.
Perforated piques are one of the
novelties.
A parasol which matches tho color
in your hat is the chio thing to have
this season.
Pretty little collar clasps come it)
all sorts of pretty designs to fasten
ribbons around the neck. There are
butterflies and conventional patterns
in various colors in cnumel and with
mock precious stones.
Louis XVI. muslins with bouquets
of flowers between stripes of laeo in
sertion are the daintiest fabrics imag
inable. They are trimmed with lace
and made up with overdresses ami
fichus much as they were fifty years
ago.
A neat short coat of pale beige cloth
is seamed with white satin, stitched
bauds of which odge the revels and
collar, poeket9 and cuffs, and are laid
over the point of the shoulders. This
coat is double-breasted aud fastens
with two steel buttons of large size.
A baud of black velvet uudulatet
around the skirt of a red cloth gown,
and is finished at one side with a bow.
Three bauds of velvet to match cross
the ffont of the bodice, which has a
white vest, and fasten at the side,
with bows to match that on the skirt.
A pretty summer cape is mado with
two accordion plaited ruffles of white
chiffon striped with black satin on the
edge. The plaitings are finished with
a tiny ruche of chiffon, and a ruchoof
chiffon with long scarf ends completes
this dainty wrap made on a white
taffeta silk foundation.
The shapely little mutton-leg sleeve,
so easily fashioned and so graceful in
its present modified style, still con
tinues to divide honors with the close
coat shapos, open or slashed on the
shoulders, tucked, strap finished, and
with many other fanciful arrange
ments. Novel and varied styles in
these pretty sleeves appear upon al
most all of the dressy tailor gowns.
Belts for the neck are not really
novelties, but they have blossomed
out iu new and varied designs for the
summer girl. The latest is a sort of
dog collar iu silver or gold arranged
iu medallions with chains between, or
made in a solid band set with jewels.
These are worn over a baud of colored
ribbon, with a belt for the waist tin
match.
OUR BUDGET OF HUMOR.
LAUCHTER-PROVOKINC STORIES FOR
LOVERS OF FUN.
Hlfl Rurc- In tlio Sanctum—Cherishing
Illusion*—Believed in tlio Diamond
Ace—Result of h Family Row—A Sign
of Weakness—ln Doubt, Etc., Etc.
I nsked him for bis daughter's hand-
He asked: "Your Income, sir?"
And with a careless air I suid,
"About ten thousand per."
The millionaire gave his consent.
I'm luckiest of chaps.
For my "ten thousand per" just then
Was nothing hut por-baps.
—Judge.
Cherishing Illusions.
"It is cherishing our illusions that
keeps us young."
"Yes; especially if we bold on to
the illusion that, we are still young."
—Chicago Record.
A Sign of Weakness.
"Is Perryßtile such a weak man?"
"I should judgo so. He has been
married for years, but even now he
jannotobey his wife without coutinuul
protests."—Life.
In the Sanctum.
Editor—"Did you write these jokes
yourself?"
Would-be Contributor—"Yes, sir."
Editor—"Y'ou must he older than
you look."—The Criterion.
Believed in the Diamond Age.
He (bitterly)—" Your heart must bo
of stoue. I dou't believe auythiug
could make an impression on it."
She (sweetly)—" You never tried
diamonds."—Brooklyn Life.
A Spanish Profession.
His Sweetheart —"I have always
heard that all Spaniards were expert
at fencing."
Returned Volunteer—"Yes; indeed
they are; especially with barbed wire."
—Brooklyn Life.
Oono Long Enough.
"Always something new; hero's a
messenger boy being sent around the
world."
"That's 110 novelty. Our office boy
goes half way around the world every
time I send him iu tho next block."
Bosult of a Family Row.
The Ccuntess—"My liist husband
was a self-made muu. And you— *
you—"
The Count (defiantly)—" And lam
a self-made count!"
Tho blow had fallen.—lndianapolis
Journal.
There's the Rub.
"I've been studying some references
about this Alaskau gold find, and I
see that you cau go to the Klondike
for 8600."
"That's all right; but the trouble is
that yon are not sure of getting it."—
Richmond Dispatch.
Misconstrued.
Chief Guy (of tho Order of tho
Golden Sock) —"Have they given you
the grip yet?"
Candidate—"Great Seott! have I
got to take that too?" Judge.
"Whon it Woman Will •'
"It might be n good plan to put
women in charge of the Weather Bur
eau."
"Why?"
"It wouldn't be long before they'd
find some way to arrange the weather
to suit themselves."—Judge.
In Doubt.
"What is that bit of furniture to
which you cling so closely?" nsked tho
tourist.
"I don't know exactly," answered
the Samoan. "I'll have to wait till
this trouble is over to be sure whether
it is a sceptre or a piece of kindling
wood." —Washington Star.
Its Use.
"What's 41ie use of a peace confer*
ence?" inquired the skeptic.
"A great deal of use!" answered tho
diplomat, indignantly. "It's a barom
eter. If wo eau get through a peace
conference without a fight it will be a
pretty good sign that we can get
through several years without a gen
eral war."—Washington Star.
Tim Paste Didn't Hold.
"I! have shown this to a jeweler,"
said the young woman, flinging the
engagement ring scornfully at his
feet. "Did you think," she asked,
with crushing sarcasm, "you could
cement our affection with paste?"
"So!" hissed the young man, fold
ing his arms and gazing at her tyith
equal scorn. "It's pnste, is it? Aud
yet vou are not stuck on it!" —Chica-
go Tribune.
A Hard Couch.
"Doctor, I want to kuow exactly
what's the matter with me."
"My good sir, your ailment is a ten
dency of the ltirigs to expel air sud
denly and forcibly through the glottis,
the effort being accompanied by a rau
cous and more or less guttural sound."
"That's "vhat I told the doctor I dis
charged tho other day. He said it
was nothing but a cough."—Chicago
tribune