Free-land Tribune
Established 1889.
PUBLISHED EVERY
MONDAY AND THURSDAY,
BY THE
TRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY. Limited
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FREELAND, PA.
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Meissonior said of Ruvis de Clia
vannes, "He has achieved tho grand
style iu decorative art; it is so simple,
so well balanced, so logical." Is not
this a lesson for young American
students, so many of whom are striv
ing to reach the goal of meritorious
distinction, if not fame? Simplicity
nud fidelity to naturo are sure to win
finally in the coutest with degenerate
and bizarre effects.
Two New York detectives wanted
"Eddy Barnes." All they knew
about him was that ho was colored and
that he was a bicyclist. They stood
along tho Boulevard and yelled
"Eddy" at every black bicyclist.
When "Eddy" came along he slowed
down to see who had called him and
was arrested. New York's shrewd
detectives could teach Couan Doyle a
good deal.
To be the author of a book ought to
moan something more than to write j
sixty thousand words and get them !
printed. A true book is not alone an
inanimate object. All true books have |
souls. But scarcely one in a hundred
so-called books possesses that adjunct.
The pity of it all is that in this flood
of literature the one book endowed
with tho breath of immortal life must
struggle so long iu the deep waters
and malarial marshes where thrive the
unworthy aud profitless thousands.
If the soldiers in Spain's Cuban
armies knew what was good for them
they would remain on the island, beat
their swords into pruuing-hooks and
grow up with the country. There is
plenty of room for them there, aud
tho tropical sun might in a generation
or two roast the most virulent of their
Reninsular qualities out of them. It
ripens the spirit of insular patriotism
as it does bananas, with extraordinary
rapidity, and they would become good
and loyal Cubans almost before they
knew it.
America is a country of poor roads,
and those working for highway reform
are laboring in a wise and just cause;
but it is worth noting at some stages
of the journey, when tho end seems
far away, what great progress has been
made. It was only about ten years
ago that it was emphatically asserted
in England that tho bicycle could
never become popular here because
tho roads were so poor. To-day
America is tho greatest cycling coun
try in tho world, and thero has been
uiore advance in road improvement
during tho last decade than iu any
previous twenty years.
Austrian umbrella-handle manufac
turers have iu a number of instances
given up catering to the American
market, say 3 the Dry Goods Economist-
Of course, our trade with that country
in this lino is still of largo proportions,
but it lias declined rapidly during re
cent years, and bids fair to continue
to shrink. This is asoribed to tho fact
that Austrian handles, which are gen.
crally of the medium and cheap grades,
are no longer wanted in this country.
Tho public demand better goods, and
since Austrian manufacturers have not
observed this transition in taste, they
are still making goods which were all
right several seasons ago, but are
passed. The United States relies
oliiefly upon Germany and France for
t'ue bandies which it imports, aud
which are greatly superior to the pro
ductions of Austrian makers.
A Sharp llargain.
Jenkins (who ka3 agreed to sell Ms
farm to Thompson for a good price,
but wants to get a little more)—l d'no
hut I sh'l liev tcr back out er this 'era
business, my woman, she's a-takin' on
so 'bout leavln' of the old place
Thompson—My wifa'll he dretfuj dis'-
pinted. Eho's sot bar heart: on Our
hevln' that farm fur so long. Jenkins
•—Tell ye what I'll do! You Jest gim
me a nuther hund'ed, an' I'll let Llddy
Ann bawl.—Judge
IYIa lixceptloimt Fortune.
-Aaron Burr was a remarkable
man." "Decidedly. Notwithstanding
the fast that he was vice president of
the United States, he ha 3 not been tor
gotten."—Truth.
MESSMATES.
no jsjavo ns .ill a jroodby clieerlly
At tbe first dawn of day;
Y.V dropped him down the side fall drearily
Warn the iltfht died away.
It's a doad dark watch that lie's a-keepiiig
there,
And a long, long night that las:3 a-creeping
there.
Wkero tho Trades and tho tides roll over
him,
And tho groat ships go by.
lie's there alone, with green sea 3 rocking
him
For a thousand miles round;
Do's them alone, with dumb tliing3 mock
ing him.
And we're homeward bound.
It's a long, lono watch that he's a-keoplng
there.
And a dead cold night that lags a croeping
there.
While the months and thb years roll ever
him,
Aud the great ship 3 go by.
I wonder if tho tramps come near enough,
As they thrash to und fro,
And the battle-ship's bolls ring cloar enough
To be hoard down below;
It through all tho lone watch that he's
a-keaping thore,
And the long, cold night that lags a-crcop
lng there.
The voices of tho sailor-mon shall comfort
him
When the great ship 3 go by.
—Henry Newboit.
0333333GG'3C£00033GCCr323DC0
1A PAGKET OF PATTERS S |
00300380833033320082300Q0C
w j xf E T, ' a3 looking
v H at May's por
trait—a lovely
little miniature
9 —when the
housemaid
IjrowgUt the
I packet to him.
a TUe K irl ei
ma tered timidly,
with a furtive
glance at her master, for whom her
heart was bleeding. But if her timid
ity had arisen from tho fear of eeeiug
some exhibition of terrible sorrow,
sho had alarmed herself needlessly.
No signs of tears, either past or pres
ent, was visible in the young man's
eye 3. They were hard and bright.
Hard, also, was his face, and the
clenched lips like adamant.
lie took the thick envelope off the
salver, glanced at the clerkly writing
and at the hack, upon which was
stamped in bluo letters "W. Eobin
bon & Co." Then he flung it on the
table, and as llio servant left tho room
tho sound of harsh laughter broke
upon her astonished ears. Sho fled
to tho kitchen and with scared face
whispered that she though poor Mr.
Ord must bo going mad.
Small wonder, perhaps, if he wore! I
Ho had written a few days before to
William Bobinson for those pattorns
that ho might choose tho materials
for his wedding suit. What a weighty
matter that choico would have beou!
May was so particular about what ho
wore. He used to be a little careless
about his dress once—going about in
coats with creases iu them, aud far
mer's boots. Then, in his endeavor
to gain May's approbation, ho had
overdone it in tho opposite direction,
sporting collars of absurd height, and
impossible ties, enduring like a
martyr tbe pinch of patent leather
shoes a size too small for him and get
ting himself a little chaffed by ap
pearing in suits unmistakably in ad
vance of tbe fashion.
May, with gentle tact, had changed
all this. Never hurting her ardent
young lover by open condemnation of
his apparel, but by artful suggestions
bad first roused him to an interest in
his attire, then toned down his some
what crude tastes, an 1 finally schooled
him into that quiet perfection of dress
ing which is the attribute of a gentle
man. lie had written for tho pattern
from Eobinson's a few weeks before
the important suit should be needed,
as be wautod to havo May's opinion
with regard to tho materials. Already
tho little, laughing, gay girl had be
gun to be more than a mero piece of
loveliness for his admiring eyes to rest
upon. Ho consulted her about every
thing. Ho had no sisters, and until
t'ue last year—when the death of an
uncle aud the inhoritauee of a fovtuua
had made him his own master—he had
lived a solitary life in a remote coun
try town with tho relation by whose
sadden death he was enriched. May
Carden, one of the first young ladies
he camo across iu town, had taken his
heart by storm. The mixture of
frivolity aud sound practical senso iu
her nature was exactly what ho need
| ed. Tho one broko the crust of a cer
tain moroseness born of an unloved
life, and tbe other steadied tho pro
pensities to extravagance of taste and
living which unexpected wealth had
not unnaturally aroused.
After that laugh cf harshness, which
had so startled his servant, Laurence
Ord went back to the study of May's
I portrait. It was indeed a veritable
i "May" face. Cheeks like young
roses, hair brown as hawthorn twigs,
lips which were akin to the deep pink
I buds of tho applo blossom, and eyes
I Tlnct with azure, like two crystal wells
That drink tho blue complexion ot tho
skies.
T'neso latter laughed back as if in
mocking merriment to the hard gray
ones which were looking down on
him. A sob of anguish broke in a
groan from Ord's lips. Ho tried to
realize that these dancing eyes wore
closed forever. Tried—tried as many
and many a bereaved one had striveu
in vain to do—to grasp the fact that
the dear lips would never speak again;
that no moro until the day of resur
rection would so much as tho faintest
color tiugo the still white face, The
picture before him, bubbling over as
it was with life and mirth, gave the
lie to such a thought. Tlii idea of
May—May, the merriest little person
in tho world, lying cold and silent was
too muoh for the young man who last
had seen her having a wild game with
a kitten on the deck of a friend's
yacht.
Ho had dreaded that little cruise
moro than ho could Eay. Ho had
all but asked her not to go; but
from this he had refrained, deeming
it mere selfishness.
"You don't mind me going, Laurie,
do you?" she had asked, when the
trip had been suggested, and with a
little pleading look in her eyes which
was irresistible, especially as he had
not yet the absolute right to give or
withhold jsormission. "I'll only bo
gouo three weeks, dear, and then—il ;
you s ill have a mind to—you may
take mo and keep mo forever, and for- |
ever! A large order, Laurie! Shall,
you waut me for so long, do you
think?"
Ord, never a backward lover, had
answered that question by a quietus 1
to the sweet lips which spoke it. I
He had gone to see her off on board {
the Orchid; and she had stopped in j
the middle of one of her airy whirls
with the kitten aud a piece of scarlet j
ribbon, to whisper, "Mind you have j
the patterns ready by tho time I come
hack!"
Tho patterns were ready, but never ,
more, thought poor heart-broken j
Laurence, would May come baok to j
to him again.
"The yacht Orchid, which was
wrecksd last night on the dangerous
reef outside Alwyn Bay, is the prop- |
erty of a Mr. Griffiths, of London, j
All on board were saved except the j
unfortunate, whose body was washed j
ashore early this morning. It has
been identified as that of Misß May '
Cardon.
This was the paragraph which had
caught tho eye of Laurence Ord as he
had run over his morning 'paper at I
breakfast. Afterward he had come j
upon tho first and longer account, but j
this was evidently a little paragraph 1
inserted when further information!
had been received.
It was evening now, and as the slow j
hours passod young Ord begau to
writhe beneath the weight of anguish j
which crushed his heart. His senses
had at first been blunted by the 1
shock. Now they were awakening to ]
full consciousness of the immeasurable
pain. He laid the miniature down |
and began to walk about tho room. ;
He moved things here and there. Ho
wound the clock—then his nerveless j
fingers dropped it with a crash. He
lot it lie where it had fallen. Ho
pulled up the blind and looked up at
the starry heavons. But it was of no
comfort to him to think of May ns
dwelling among their mystorios. The
sight of them did not bring tears to
his scorching eyes, or soften one I
atom tho hard agony which held him
in its merciless grip. He had a sort
of feeling that little May would rather
bo with him. He began mechanically
to settle the things on the table, to
fold up the newspapers and open his
neglected letters. He was fighting
his pain. The letters wore read with
out his being a whit the wiser as to
their contonts. The pocket of pat
terns v.a3 the only thing that re
mained. With another of those piti
ful laughs ho [ripped open the en
velope. The laugh changed into an
indoscribablo cry. ft There was no pat
terns in the envelope. Instead there
wore three thick sheets of note paper,
each of which had "Walter Robinson
& Son, Solicitors, Alwyn Bay," printed
upon it. Tho writing was a penciled
scrawl—a dear, familiar scrawl.
Laurence read it on his kneos, sob
bing out his thanks to God. Three
sentences and thojiignaturo will suf
ficiently explain.
"I was brought ashore half-drowned.
* * *11 Mr. Robinson, a lawyer, has
kindly given us shelter. * * * Mr.
Griffiths is addressing this * * *
I'our loving May."
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
Money i 3 tho root of tho manufac
turing plant.
Gossip is always short lived uulesß
it is properly ventilated.
Wise is the famous man who doesn'l
overwork his popularity.
The present i 3 the child o" the past
and tho father of the future.
Tho more vauity some people pos
sess tho easier it is to make ttism
happy.
Time may be a success as a wound
healer, but it seldom removes the
scars.
Au old bachelor says the averago
wait of women is until they are asked
to marry.
Money brings happiness to some
men because of the interest they de
rive therefrom.
Wo never heard of husbands and
wives quarreling about which loved
the other most.
Tho bigger the bore a man Is the
smaller tho hole ho leaves when his
days are numbered.
TUe courting of an heiress is a
business suit, but the courting of a
flirt is[nierely a masquerade suit.
Many a man who wouldn't think of
making a wife of his cook has no
scruples about making a cook of his
wife.
An aid bncbelor says there is but
one thing sweeter than love's young
dream, and that is to wake np and
find yourself still single.
Nothing disconcerts a girl more than
to brace herself to moet the shock of
a marriage proposal and tho shock
fails to materialize.—Chicago News.
Tho Child's Candid Opinion.
A widower, says tho Chicago News,
who had a five-year-old son, married
a second time, and his choice was a
rather plain woman of about fifty.
After the wedding they came home,
and the father introduced her to the
little fellow, saying: "Charlie, this is
tho new mamma I promisad to bring
you." After taking a long and steady
look at her Charlie went oVer to his
papa and cxclaimod in an audible
whisper: "Papa, you've been swin
dled. She isn't new at all."
'ooosooooooooosaoooo
I s WOMAN'S W(ED.*!
o
ooccocooooooooooooo
Tho 15iisy IVomcn.
; Hero lies a poor woman who always was
I busy,
Slio lived under pressure that rendered hor
dizzy.
Sho belonged to ten clubs, and rend isro fil
ing by sight.
Shono at luucheous and teas, and would
vote if she might;
Sho served on a school board with courage
and zeal;
Sho golfed and kodakod nnd rodo on a
wheel;
Sho read Tolstoi and Ibsen, know microbes
by name.
Approved of Delsartc, was a "daughter"
and "dame."
Her children wont In for the top education;
Her husband wont seaward for nervous
prostration.
One day on hor tablets sho found an hour
freo-^
Tho shock was too great, and sho died in
stant lyl
—Chicago Tlmos-Herald.
NEWEST DESIGNS IN UNDERWEAR.
Innovations in Matters as to Uotli Style
and Material.
Tho underskirt is perhaps not the
pet of the wardrobe, but it eounot be
gainsaid that it is tho most important
just now, especially as the dress skirts
aro cut, so long a3 to frequently require
lifting, thereby displaying the petti
coat.
The new underskirt is cnt after the
same patterns a3 tho dress skirt, and
fitted as carefully and faultlessly as a
tailor-made garment. This applies to
the short as well as to the full-length
petticoat. The best models have sheath
tops shaped to fit at the baud all
around the front and sides without
plait or gather. The fulness of the
lower part, which sometimes almost
surpasses calculation iu its multitudin
ous yards of lace and ruffling, is ad
justed iu some form of a flounce set on
iu various modes, ruuning up iu tho
hack with a corresponding • droop in
front, in scalloped linos, in Vandykes
or circular pieces made and shaped to
rival outer dressing in the beauty aud
precision of their designs.
Tho erstwhile plain Spanish ruffle
is relegated to bargain tables in fash
ionable shops, aud no device is too in
tricate or elaborate a foundation for
the couutless rnffles, puffings, insert
ings and tnok3 which are so lavishly
employed in ornamentation. The
white skirt is so much in evidence
that we may safely predict its uso for
all wear except the street, and hand
some examples of evening toilets aro
veritable glimpses of the perfection of
needlework.
In all cotton uudergarhi.nls a no-
I ticeablo feature is tho amount and
beauty of tho handwork. Gunning
little scalloped tucks, with stitches
j like frostwork in their delicacy, the
I deft joining aud intertwining of iu
! r.ertings, embroidered medallions, lace
rosettes aud nppliqno work all argue
in defense of their high priee. But,
! oh, thoy aro so pretty, so essentially
fomiuine and such eources of a geuu
! iue self-satisfaction, for nothing is so
perfectly comforliug to the truly wom
; anly woman as a knowledge that her
j underwear is fine, soft, delicate and
I exquißitely laundered.
| The coraot cover is a little trifle
when held in the hand, hut its duty is
| manifold, aud it cau do much to mar
j the fit of tho waist if by its pattern it
is of a sliape to shrink or draw away
in the lauudry. Tho only perfect de
sign is that which is odjusted to the
I figure by drawing strings at the neck
and waist. Darts and seams are now
regarded as a menace to good fit and
! will not iron in the form desired. The
French model fits smoothly when
j drawn into place and is embellished
by lattico work of let-in inserting 3 or
| tucks, or by bayadere lines of iurert
, ing or other trimmings. These gar
ments extend only to the waist. The
I bolero and fiohu designs aro much
sought by lovers of ultra-dainty ef
fects, and are perfectly satisfactory
with all toilets except those requiring
a ribbon-like smoothness of lit.
AYoven vests of silk or lisle gauze
are now made very elaborate, and
shaped to fit as they never wero bo
fore. Tiioy are gored under the arm,
are cnt rather long aud trimmed about
tho skirts. The top 3 are much orna
mented with laee and ribbon, and
those of li'io pure silk nre exquisite
! both to look upon and as to fit.
Caring For tho lluutls niwl leot.
I As many feet aro ill shaped and
' distorted by tho wearing of loose
shoes as by the wearing of tight ones.
I Tho best-known French shoemaker
i nays that when women put on closely
fitting shoes, and keep them on nil
tho time, theirfeet remain well shaped,
j and in time the oxtremo close fit is
comfoit, hut that the taking off of
tight shoes when in tho boudoir and
ftio putting on ol tho loose slipper
causes the foot to spread.
| Taking a baby girl by tho hand a
wiso grandmother, noting tho skin at
1 tho foot of the finger nails, taught her
I to push it down, claiming that unless
she did this it would grow up at the
j root like the wee Is about tho rose,
' and that it must always lie pU3hod
away hut never cut off. Few of us
have resisted tho persuasion of the
j manicure as to cutting tho cuticle,
j Sho is businesslike iu urging it, since
j it mean 3 a frequent visit to her place
;of business, not to mention the ox
; pendituro of considerable money,
j Every day wash your hands well in
warm water, using soap that, while it
I may be a little costly, is kept in a box
I and used for your hands alone. Bo
j carefnl to dry your hands thoroughly
: aud use your nailbrush with decided
vigor. Keep the nails in good con
dition, and your hands will look ro
fined and ladylike though they may
tot bo shapely.
There is so much that might be said
—so much that must be left unsaid
becauso there is no more room for the
preacher's sermon. Here is the text:
"She only is beautiful externally who
I tares for herself internally, and who.
while cultivating the graces or the
body, doe 3 not fail to remember that
smiles drive away wrinkles, a happy
heart makes one's life-work easy, and
a sympathetic nature aids in making
the pleasant look come upon one's
face." There have been beautiful
women who were bad women, but
their beauty faded away more quickly
than a flower, for, after all, real beauty
is a combination of both lioalth and
goodness.—Ladies' Home Journal.
Tho Children's Toys.
If toys mould charaoter, the small
girl of to-day will be a perfect mother
and a eajmblo housewife when she
grows up. Her brother will probably
keep a shop, be a soldier or develop
into a professional athlete, if his char
acter is moulded by his toys.
The most popular diversions of the
small girl of this season are washing
and scrubbing. She does not confine
her energy to clothes or floors. The
toy manufacturer has supplied her
with the implements for house-clean
ing, from diminutive chamois for the
dollhouse windows to mops no bigger
than a toothbrush and patent sweepers
that creak delightfully and pick tho
nap off the cnrpet just as real sweepers
do. Tho laundry sets aro a3 complete
as the moot fastidious little house
keeper could desire. Wee irons of all
shapes for collars and cuffs, for ruffles
and laccs and for plain pieces; two
ironing boards, one for small and one
for large pieces; two baskets; a wringer,
a clotheshorso, packages of clothes
pins, tied with narrow blue ribbons,
clothes lines and, of course, a laun
dress doll, dressed iu blue seersucker,
with higohcck apron, rolled-up 3lcovos
and prim white cap.
The Uousecleauing set of toys is a
great favorite. Brushes, mops, dust
pans, cloths, cakes of sonp and polish
ing powders, brooms and pails, a step
ladder and other necessities and luxu
ries'of tho bustling housowifo are in-i
eluded iu this array. But the third j
"scrubbing sot" is tho favorite of most
small girls. It consists of two bath I
tubs, two tall pails for hot and cold
water, a copper kettle for warming
water, cakes of soap, bags of bran, ;
toilet powder, sponges and loofahs,
towels, a shower spray, n cork bath
mat and a washable celluloid doll iu
bathrobe and rubber cap!— New York
Commercial Advertiser,
Court Etiquette n l*uzlo,
A young woman of reputation as a
singor, who was commanded to appear
before her Majesty at Balmoral on the
occasion of her Inst visit to Deeside,
suffered in her feelings from an igor
ance of court etiquette which might
easily have been remedied.
Tho singer, escorled by tho Indies
in waiting and an usher, descended to
an ante-room, where, presently,
I'rincess Henry of Battenberg informed
Ihem that her Majesty was seated, and
then all proceeded to the drawing room,
where tho Queen sat iu tho center,
nearly fifty guests standing around
near the walls.
After making obeisance, tho artist
snug the eougs selected by her Majesty
from a list. They were all Scotch
songs, and evidently afforded great
pleasure. Tea and champagne were
offered to the singer, and then au at
tendant handed the Queen a morocco
box, and the artist took advantage of
the small oommotion thus caused and
retired, bowing. This was a mistake,
as tho Queen's Secretary, who had fol
lowed her to the anto-room, informed
her. She should have waited until
royal permission had been given for
hor to leave the room. The dowagor
Duchess Roxburgh afterward brought
her a'handsome bracelet—a present
from tho Queen, which had been con
tained in tho morocco box, and which
had been intended to bo prcsonted by
h<— Majesty in the drawing room.—
ago Itecord.
A Rich Ma£rlal.
Wool beugaliuo is a material of rich
ness and refinement that is likoly to
beeomo very popular thiß season. It
is soft nud silky in appearance, and
the fabric falls in most graceful folds
iu its makiug nud draping.
Fashion and Fancy*
White grenadines are ofteu used for
evening and woddiug gowus.
Jetted nud spangled black net and
mous3etine are shown for dressy waists.
Fichus nud bolero jackets of real
laea aro among tho luxuries of tho
winter season.
Fashiouablo buttons aro cxtromely
nrtislio affairs and will be lavishly
used on wraps and dresses of ail
classes.
Very handsome gowns are m ade this
season from silk poplin, aud for moro
common wear tho woolen poplin is
pretty.
Throe - cornered colored velvet
toque 3, trimmed with a hit of fur and
some jeweled ornaments, aro tho smart
thiug in headgear.
Poppy-red ruffles iu two shades aro
of mousseliue for neckwear, and bunch
es of red currants to match exactly are
to bo worn in the hat.
There aro now shell combs which
curve to fit the head, directly under
tho knot, arranged high, and serve as
a comfortable support for the heavy
winter hat.
Black gowns of lovely~transparent
or semi-diaphanous weaves over Bilk
or satin, nud in heavier materials for
day wear, will take high place in the
ranks of fashion for tho season.
Wear one of the new cutaway coats
of laco with your black velvet skirt. It
may bo of cream lace over white, or
black chaiitilly over white satin nnd
edged with a-tiny ruche of black chif
fon, but it is the correct thing.
Strappings of black Bilk, with a nar
row knotted braid on either edge, are
one of tho modish trimmings for a
cloth gown; also applique designs of
white cloth outlined with an embroid
ered jtitch iu silk matching the color
of the gown to which they are applied.
POEM WITHOUT THE LETTER E,
John Know was a man of wondrous might.
And bis words ran high and shrill;
For bold and stout was his spirit bright.
And strong was his stalwart will!
Kings sought In vain his mind to chain.
And that giant brain to control;
Eut naught on plain or stormy main
could Uauut that mighty soul.
J °lt? Si i t flnd t!U moril teK
Its shining lamps nut out;
lifi" 8 'I'® 1 '® untold" on liia mind laid hold.
And biotigilt out puln and doubt.
But light, at lost, on Ills soul was cost:
Away sank pain and sorrow—
His soul Is gay la n to-dny.
And loots tor a bright to-morrow.
v„i„ 'pi i , , -Til o Equitable Record.
Koto—Tho loiter els oilenor used than
rmy other in ordinary composition; lieuco
the clevera-ss ot this unknown author's
verse.
PITH AND POINT.
She—"You used to say I was pret
ty. Have I changed?" Ee "Oh
no; but I have."—Truth.
"I had a narrow escape in my house
tho other night." "How so?" "My
wife shot no burglars."—Life.
Teacber—"Why did tho Normans
and Saxons fight at Hastings?" Pupil
"That's where they happened to
meet, ma'am."—Puck.
"You claim that art doesn't pay.
How do you kuow that?" "Didu't I
keep a restaurant near a studio build
ing?"— New York Journal.
"What are the mo3t striking thing 3
you saw while you were iu Europe?"
"Xne people who were always strik
ing me for tips. "—Chicago News.
"To grow long hair I'm trvtn',
Aud the person must be plain;
To become a sooial lion
Ono of course must have a mane."
—Washington Star,
"I like to meet those long-haired
literary men." "Why?" "They al
ways have more sei!3e than you expect
to find after looking at thorn."—Chi
sago News.
She—"Why did you request Miss
Skails to play that piece again?" He
—"X noticed that each of her selec
tions was worse t'nau the one that pre
ceded it!"— Pack.
Mrs. Slimdict—"The city water
company has raised uiy rates." Old
Boarder—"They must have found out
that we have salt mackerel for break
fast."—New York World.
A tutor who tooted tho liutc,
Tried to teach two young tootcm to toot;
Said the two to tho tutor,
"Is it harder to toot or
To tutor two tutors to loot?
—Lire.
Soldier Eoy—"Do you believe that
(bo upsettiug of salt causes a quarrel?"
Jack Tar—"Well, that's just about
what was the trouble with Spain. She
upset too many of us." Yonkera
Statesman.
Tho Countess—"They say that the
heiress whom Lord d'Liverua married
has a very kind heart." Tho Duchess
—"Yes, indeed. Xam told that she
occasionally condescends to visit her
American parents."—Life.
Old Friend—"Yonr plau is n most
excellent ono; but do you tliiulc your
wife will agree to it?" Married Man—
"Ob, yes! I'll tell her someone else
suggested it, and I'll call it au idiotic
idea."—New York Weekly.
Watts—"Had fifteen women at my
house this afternoon. Some sort of
club my wife belongs to." Potts—
"Must have been au awful racket."
Watts—"Not so much as you would
think. Fifteen women make no tnoro
poiso thau two. You see, there has
got to be a limit somewhere."—lndian
apolis Journal.
Tho seedy Btranger nt the hotel had
deliberately tried to suffocate himself
by closing bis room as tightly as be
could and turning on the gas. "You
miserable vagabond!"'exclaimed the
dootor, after he bad succeeded in re
viving him, "what did you want to do
that for? You havo given this hotel n
bad name aud wasted about fivo hun
dred feet of gas!" "No, it isn't
wasted," groaned the landlord. "The
meter will register every foot of it."—
Chicago Tribune.
Savon Hamr t or Months.
The following is a ' Ist of names said
to have been given • the mouths by
the Saxons:
January: Wolf-month, because of
the danger of being devoured by
wolves.
February; Lent-mouth. "Lenetez
or "Lonx," au old German word for
spring.
April; Easter of Ostar-mouth
May Tri-milki. In this month
milked cows three times a day.
June: Weid-:.iouth or pasture
month.
July: Hay-mouth.
August: Barn-month. Filled the
barns with corn.
September: Barley-mouili; either
barley-harvest or brawing month.
October: Wine-mouth. Making of
wine.
November: Wiudy-monlb.
December: Wiuter-uioath; or Holy
month; in honor of Christmas—
Dodge's "Outlines and Topics in Eng
lish History."
The Oucstlon of Diet For Strangers.
What is safe diet for a stranger?
What kinds should he avoid? What
beverages will prove hurtful or need
less? What changes of clothing aro
necessary in different seasons? What
exertions or e*xhaustion may bo ven
ture upon, and at what periods with
out serious risk? Temperance ia
labor and oxpo3Ure may be as im
portant as temperance in diet. Can a
working man find healthy lodgings,
and at what distanco from his work?
Can he find ventilated dwelling'rooms
in promises drained aud tolerably free
from miasmio dirt, ovcrorowding and
nir poisoning? Risks from such
dangers are not unknown to workmen
wherever they may be. Bnt the ques
tion i 3, Will matters be worse iu tho
country to which tho emigrant goes?
Maladies may carry off half his family,
and the doctor all his savings.—Nine-
teenth Ceutury.
Are you frequently Hoarse?
Do you have that annoying
tickling in your throat? V/ould
you feel relieved if you could
raise something? Does your
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do you raise more mucus in
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Then you should always keep
on hand a bottle of
If you h3ve a weak
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to another, and the last
gig one is always harder to
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IDi'.Ancr'sCkerra Pectoral Plaster
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/ff| Help at Hand.
If you have any complaint
fflgSfa whatever and desire the best
medical advice you can pos
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jH prompt reply.
B Address, DR. J. C. AYER,
ill Lowell, Mass.
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j fpa
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{..Costs Less TiiacOHE CENT a Cop.. >
7 He sura that you get the Genuine Article, {
\ made at DORCHESTER, MASS. by 7
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tho family. 1 ' EDW. A. MAUX, Albany, N. Y.
(ooS
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