A Choice Occupation. They were making out the dance list for a prospective ball and were put ting down lancers, waltzes, two-steps, etc., when they were Interrupted. "What are you doing?" said the new- IBOmer. "Don't you see?" replied the wit of the family. "Picking hops."—North 'American. Even Worse than Death. v •'Why are the Daskleigb girls In mourning?" "An uncle of theirs was accepted as ft Juror last week." Oh, What Splendid Coffee. Mr. Goodman, Williams Co., 111., Writes: "From one package Salzer's German Coffee Berry costing 55c I grew 800 rbs. of better coffee than I can buy in stores at 30 cents a lt>." A. C. 5. A package of this coffee and big seed and plant catalogue is sent you by John A. Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis., upon receipt of 15 cents stamps and this notice. Poor Baby Will not strangle and die with Croup If Hox sie's C. C. C. is used No opium to stupefy, no Ipecac to nauseate. CO cents. Fits permanently cured. No flta or nervous ness after first day's us© of Dr. Kline's Great Nerve Restorer. $2 trial bottle and treatise free Da. R. H. Ki.in*. Ltd.. 931 Arch SL.Phila~.Pa. The rate of the growth of human hair varies. In some cases it has been j known to exceed two inches per month, i The average for man and woman is I about half an Inch every 30 days. To Care A Gold In One Day. Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. AH Druggists refund money if it fails to oure. 86c. The cat was considered a sacred ani mal by the ancient inhabitants of Heli opolis, Egypt. When one of these ani mals died in a private residence, the occupants shaved off their eyebrows. Chew Star Tobacco—'Th? BesL Smoke Sledge Cigarettes. Great Britain has 135,000 Illiterate voters. Blood Humors Spring 1 is the Cleansing Season- Don't Neglect Your Health You Need to Take Hood's Sarsa parllla Now Spring is the senson for cleansing and renewing. Everywhere accumulations of waste are being removed and preparations for the new life of another season are being made. This is the time for oleansing your blood with Hood's Sarraparllla. Winter bos left the blood Impure. Spring Humors, Bolls, pimples, eruptions, and that tirod feeling are the results. Hood's Barsaparllla expels all impurities from tho blood and makes It rlohand nourishing. It builds up the nervous system, creates an appetite, gives sweot, refreshing sleep and renewed energy and vigor. It cures all ipring humors, bolls, pimplos, eruptions. HOOd'S S pL s rma Ts America's Greatest Medicine. $1; six for $3, Prepared by C. I. Ilood & Co., Lowell, Mass. Hnnri'Q Pills arotho onl F to nUUU 5 rillb with Hood's SarsauariUa. ( HNIVOfIIMINIIMiHftI* < ft FOR 14 CENTS? I I Wtwih terrain U0,000 new om- A ! I flftfjfo l°pi","h'D.r R.d'.V" 11 S SnfiM 1 PWg. Karl r Spring Turuip, 10u * * ' i m £ "if 1 ® B>a b' io° 2 ] \ 1 2 slo*nd7k C M.lon*," ttaC# ' !*c 2 ! * " Brilliant FIOWM SBeda, lie 5 ! pgrMf W.rth 91.64, f.r 14 ecnU. . Z I | Jtjm H Above It pkf*. worth fl 00, we will Q , i Hf H mail yon fraa, together with ear A : mi Hf (r.kt Plant and need Catalogue X | | Mm mm tpon reject of thU notice and I4tv T ( I ■ H Inow'whin you on/e trr Salaar'a Q J > H a\ eeeda jron will never get along with- # , , t'ntatora at 1.50 2 I I JOHN A. lIUU HUB CO., LA CKOMB, W4. 2 l ftftlH8l8M48H8IHI0M8 THE FREIGHT. DESTSCALES. LEAST MONEY. J ONES OF B INGHAM TO N.N. V PATENTS Vfataon B. Coleman. Attorney-at-Law and flollcltoi |f Patanta, foi F St., N. W., Washington. P. C. BUgheat references hi all part* of tha country. OFEIHID Gardanfi Flower with a world-wide Uf In ba iyi reputation. Catalog JAMES J. H. GREGORY A SOX.Barbiekead.Bus. f|M| ft ■ (ft M and Liqnor Habit cured in I IftJo I 10 to 20 days No |>uy till ■I H IH ft |eW| cured. Dr. J. 1. Stephens, VI I IW I Dept. A, Lebanon, Ohio. ■OT" Ladies Wanted. TO TH AT Hl.for old established house. Parmaaent position. Sto par month and all exren*ts f .W.AlltaUili k CO.. 3M Locust St.. Fhtladelphia. P* ENSIONS.PATENTS, CLAIMS. JOHN W. MORRIS, WASHINGTON,D.O, Late Prlaolpsl Exsalscr U 8. Pension Bartao. 8/ra. la last war, 15 adjudication elaim*. atty. slao% TALKING MACHINES,SS&2S& address Talking Machine Co., Syracuse, N. Y. PAINTSWALLS^CEILiNGS CALCIMO FRESCO TINTS FPU DECOMTIHB WILLS IHD CEILINGS n^i grocer or point dealer and do your owp kal- UALUIHIU eomining. Thie material is made on scientiQo principles by machinery and milled in twenty-four tints and is superior to any concootion of Glue ond Whit ing that can possibly be made by hand. To sa MIXBD WITH COLD Vmn iriEND FOB SAMPLE COLOR CAUDA and if you cannot purchase this material from your looal dealers let us know and we will put you in the way of obtaining it •RAUS MCBALO co., anew BBIGIITOS, G. 1., SEW TOBB. "Don't Put Off Till To-morrow tho Duties of To-Day." Buy a Cako of SAPOLIO One VYomun'n Wuj, Mrs. Skinner—Ob, but I wish I was a man. Mr. Skinner—"Why so, my dear? Mrs. Skinner—l was Just thinking to day if I was only a man, bow happy I could make my wife by giving ber a diamond necklace for a birthday pres ent. The Proper Way to Do. Brown—How Is your friend Green getting along In the groeery business? White —He's not making his salt. Brown—Why, what's the trouble? White—Oh, nothing; he buys It. Tide or Pronunciation. It is always diverting to watch how a wave of small intellectual reform will from time to time sweep over a "sot" or a community, or, indeed, an entire locality, says the New York Sun. II is so catching, so inevitable. Every body goes down before it. Anything novel or out of the way in expression is the popular infection Just now. I-'oi example "half after four" instead ol "half past four," "keen" for "quick" or "eager" and "delectable" for any thing from "nice" to "Just too perfectly lovely for anything." This fashion has, however, less to commend It that it is not so much a tribute to good English as to silly Americans —namely, the An glomanlacs. Pronunciation affords a fine Instancy of the way that women all follow suit like a row ot bricks or a flock of sheet or anything else that symbolizes hnr mony and accord. Just let a club presi dent or any acknowledged leader star! in by saying appendlcytis or eo-quetry, or anything else foreign to the appen dicoetis, or coquetry that they have all been saying for so many years, and prcstol tho sieight-of-hand man couldn't make quicker work of It. All this Isn't saying that It Isn't highly laudable and well lntentloned. Like everything else culture Itself has to have a start, and not unlike everything else It's apt to be funny while It's so refreshingly new. r.veo Worse innn Death. Jack Potts—What will jou charge to make a good stout poker trunk? Trunkmaker—What do you mean bj "poker" trunk? Jack Potts—Ona that holds four trays. It is often a hard matter to convince a brass bond that It Isn't the entire pro cession. There la more Catarrh In this section of the country than all other diseases put together, and until the last few years was supposed to be incurable. For a great many years doctors pronounced it a local disease and prescribed local remedies, and by constantly failing to cure with local treatment, pronounced it in curable. Science has proven catarrh to he a constitutional disease and therefore requires constitutional treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J. Cheney Si Co., Toledo, Ohio, is the onlv constitutional cure on the market. It is taken internally in doses from 10 drops to a teaspoonful. It acts directly on the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. They offer one hundred dollars for any case it fails to cure. Send for circulars and testi monials. Address F.J. ('HENEY& Co., Toledo, O. Sold hv Druggists 75c. Hall's Family I'ills are the best. Mrs. Wlnslow's Soothing Syrup forohfMren teething, softens the gums,reducing inflamma tion, allays pain, euros wind colic. 2Gc.a bofc* l^ After physicians had given mo up, I was saved by L'iso's Cure.— RALPH EUIUU, WlL linmsport. Pa., Nov. J2. 18U>. STORIES OF RELIEF. Two Letters to Mrs. Pinkfram. Mrs. Jomr WILLIAMS, English town. N. J., writes: 44 DEAR MRS. PINKHAM: —I cannot be gin to tell you how I suffered before taking your remedies. I was so weak that I could hardly walk across the floor without falling. I had womb trouble and such a bearing-down feeling ; alsc suffered with my back and limbs, pain in womb, inflammation of the bladder, piles and indigestion. Before I had taken one bottle of Lydia E. Pinkharn's Vegetable* Compound I felt a great deal better, and after taking two and one half bottles and half a box of 3'our Liver Pills I was cured. If more would take your medicine they would not have to suffer so much." Mrs. JOSEPH PETERSON, 513 East St., Warren, Pa., writes: 4, DEAR MRS. PINKHAM:—I have suf fered with womb trouble over fifteen years. I had inflammation, enlarge ment and displacement of the womb. I had the backache constantly, also headache, and was so dizzy. I had heart trouble, it seemed as though my heart was in my throat at times chok ing me. I could not walk around and I could not lie down, for then my heart would beat so fast I would feel as though I was smothering. I had to sit up in bed nights in order to breathe. I was so weak I conld not do any thing. 44 1 have now taken several bot tles of Lydia tl. Pinkharn's Vegetable Compound, and used three pack ages of Sanative Wash, and can say I am perfectly cured. Ido not think j I could have lived long if Mrs. Pink ham's medicine had not helped me." | THE REALM OF FASHION, g; flats For Spring and Summer. Fashionables of Paris are now be ginning to think of summer hats, ytraw will be, as usual, universally | worn, and the Dovelties are very charming. Among the new ones are I CKEATIOU OP VELVET AND TOLLS. the effect is charming. A novel man ner of using tulle is to arrange it in layers, one over the other, until it is quite opaque, and then either stretch it smoothly over a firm shape or ar range it in the form of a beret, with the loose edges of the tulle separate, like the leaves of a book, and each oue edged with very narrow satin rib bon or a row of spangles or jet nail heads. In Paris flower-trimmed hats and bonnets are already the vogue, and GIRL'S COSTUALE. ' closely plaited coarse straws in all shades. Finely sewn straws, Pana . mas, Leghorns and manillas will also Ibe worn. The coarse straws, how over, will be deemed the most ele- I gant for toques and bonnets. Tulle | will prove a strong rival of straw during the early part of tho coming season. Even new the new models are built of tulle and velvet. Chiffon and tulle are also employed for deep plaited frills to soft velvet crowns, and i gay blossoms will doubtless be exten ' sively worn in tho early spring. Large open roses are the most fashionable. I Felt hats and toques have entire crowns made of them. As is usual in the late winter, violets are all the | rage, and the provident dame is now I adding a fresh note to her winter hat lin the shapo of theso delicate and | beautiful flowers. Girla' Costume in Light Weight Serge. ! Whatever number of more elaborate and delicate gowns the growing girl's j wardrobe may include, one of sturdy stuff, simply made, is essential to her comfort and well-being. The model shown in the double-column illustra tion, says May Manton, is of light weight serge in royal blue and is trimmed with fancy black braid. But cheviot, covert cloth and all the new spring suitings, as well as cashmere, are equally suitable. The foundation for the waist is a fitted lining that closes at the centre back. On it are arranged the full body portions and the yoke, which is extended and divided to form slashed epaulettes. The straight strip shown at the front Ts lined with crinoline, then applied to the waist proper, cov ering the edgpes of full fronts. The sleeves are two-seamed and. fit snugly, except for the slight puffs at the shoulders, which are universally worn by children and young girls. The | pointed wrists are finished with frills ; of lace, and at the throat is a high standing collar. 1 The skirt is four-gored and fits | smoothly across the front and over the ! kips, the fulness at the beck being laiii in baokward-turnins plaits. It is lined throughout, but nnstiffened, and ! is trimmed with two rows of fancy braid. To make this costume for a girl of eight years will require two and one half yards of forty-four-inck material. Styles In Saslies. Sashes of all kinds and conditions ! are well to the front in fashion, and the new ribbons are more beautiful J thaD ever. There are Roman stripes, j checks and plaids, with satin bordered edges, and flowered, corded, and j watered ribbons of all kinds. Net, j chifl'on, and lace sashes will continue j in favor; but it is not alone sashes for j the waist that swell the list. The j sashes for the neck are quite as con- J spicuous and more generally worn, for [ all women seem to like the long silken \ cravats around their throats. They j are made of liberty gauze, chifl'on, and | thin silk, or of Swiss, with hemstitched | and lace-trimmed ends. The newest of these neck sashes is a scarf of net with an elaborate lace pattern at the ends and an edge alt around. They range in price from Si to sls, and are really very elegant. In smaller things for the neck there is an unlimited variety. Short bows and knotted cravats of pure white lawn, with knife plaited frills on the ends, are added to ! an array of lace knots aud neck frills ! which are beyond description. New Materials for Spring Wear. Among the new materials this spring are several weaves of crepon, which are not intended for anything but mourning wear. They look as though part were made of crape, and then of shirringa of silk and wool. They are also to bo seen with a sort of blistered surface, resembling matelasseor quilt ing. They are always of a deep black, not a blue black, aud wear well, but are among the expensive materials. However, as they do not require much trimming, they are not so expensive as might be thought. Novelties in Button*. In fine buttons for bodices and jackets some handsome novelties are shown in oelluloid, jet, steel and por celain. The latter are especially love ly, and often look like miniatures, so exquisitely are ideal heads painted upon them, Butest Spring Blouse, The blonsed fronts open over a plas tron of white satin or of a silk which matches one of the colors in the plaid of the waist material. These fronts are held together by cufflinks through button holes. The revers are faced BPBINO BLOUSE. with the waist material or to match the plastron. Plaids, stripes, plain silks, ohecks, all are made up in this f style. The back is in a single piece and slightly blonsed. If preferred il can be drawn down tightly. wis; WOROC. | Guilt has a hard pillow, j Truth wins no easy victories. I Zeal is the dynamite of appeal. \ Trials are blessings in disguise. 1 I Fanaticism is Faith turned sour, j Spiritual hunger is heart prayer. " Adversity is God's pruning knife. | Suspicion is the scent of cunning. You can't bury character in thi i grave. i Before faith can rest it must stan< a test. A shaggy camel may bear a smootl j burden. Pleasure soon pails when it costi I nothing. j Flattery serves as gas in the ballooi I of pride. | Purity opens the way to a world o | gladness. Friendship may soon die, but en ! mity never. Boasting is blowing off the steam o 1 | self-oonceit. | Storm-tried faith is better than fair [ weather belief. j Whispers and runaway teams maki the break-ups. Blaming others is a poor way t< 1 justify yourself. Reputation is like an eol—a slipper , thing to handle. Despondency unnerves a man, hop> I j invigorates him. Elbow grease makes the wheels o fortune move easier. Morality is often used as the per fume bottle of society. Truth and facts always agree. Eiro; and lies are associates. Education has been substituted fo: consecration in the modern pulpit. Slander is the moral hydrophobia— { thoso who are bitten generally rui j mad. An Extraordinary Similarity. An ambitious young lawyer paiil his first visit to a country court, uot fai from New Orleans, uot long since. ■ He went to represent a big railroad in j a suit brought by a countryman to re cover the value of an ox which de. parted this life in a vain attempt tc hold up the limited mail. The ques tion before the court was one of iden tification, and the countryman had testified that he knew the ox by his color and the flesh-marks. The young : lawyer rose and with dignity said; "If your Honor please, there can be ! no question that this witness ha; i j sworn falsely when he testified that an j ox can be reoognized by its color. I | was a stenographer before I became n j lawyer, aud for two days, your Honor" (drawing out his noto-book), "I havo taken a detailed description of every ox that passed tks hotel, and lam prepared to swear as an expert thai all oxen look alike to me." "Yon are trifling with the dignity of the court, sir!" sternly said the judge, "I will fine—" "Hold on, Judge," said the clerk, "there hain't been but one yoke ol oxen in this town in a week. Old Man Henley's been a-h.xulin'wood, and the lawyer's been countin' the same oxen over and over." "Judgment for the plaintiff," said 4ho Judge, and the lawyer took his departure, a sadder but wiser man.—Argonaut. Thrifty Firemen. "— 1 | The firo engine house, No. 15, af Sixteenth and 801 l streets has in addi- : tion to two hose reels and trucks and j prancing horses the essentials of < dairy and a chicken farm. At No. IE there are always milch cows in plenty and chickens in profusion. This en gine house is on the north side of th stock yards and abuds on the shed ] where speculators at the yards house their cows that are in milk. This ex plains the dairy end of the story. The firemen have only to step from theii ; back|door into the cow shed to obtain all the fresh milk that they and theii ! families need aud in tho summer time they indulge in great quanties of ice cream. On the south side of the engine house is a chicken coop and last sum mer the firemen raised 800 chickens i by the aid of two incubators. Now they have hens enough in their primi five coop to furnish two dozen eggs a day. At night as the firemen sit about the glowing stove drying their clothes after a "run" they prepare a chicken stew of fowls from their uwn coop with milk from the placid bovines of the speculators' sheds.—Kansas City Star. How S-lie Described It, Dear Hubby; I write this in a great hurry, so that you may get it in time to start for borne on the first train. Isn't it dread ful! The nasty fire company just ruined all my newest gowns, what were not burned, and to make matters worse I am living with the ltushtous, who, as you know, have the worst children on earth. They just worry the life out of me—as if it were not enough to suffer the loss of my lovely jowus. Isn't it dreadful! I suppose we'll have to live in a hotel for awhile, but do come at once. Your distracted wife, EDNA. P. S.—l forgot to mention about our house burning down, but I guess you could have guessed it from reading my letter. E.—Ne-; York Journal. Death of a Scottish Centenarian. The death has taken place at Ferry den, near Montrose, of Mrs. David Watt, who, during her whole life of one hundred years aud four months, was resident in that small fishing village. Her husband, a fisherman, perished fjoin the effects of exposure to a severe storm about fifty years ago. Mrs, Watt has no fewer than 26'J descend lants—l2 children (6 sons and 6 daughters), 80 grandchildren, 175 great-grandchildren,.and 2.great-great ■raadcluidren.—Pall Mall Gazette. THE jiEIiRV SIDE OF LIFE. STORIES THAT ARE TOLD DY THE j FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Flexibility of English—That's DifTVrent— A Musical Phenomenon—Not Time to Develop—lndignant Constituent—An Act ion—Appealing to the Record, Etc •'Yes," he cried, "I'm a clerk! And it is, I i : suspect. My vocation, proud maiden, to which you , object." "Oh, no, Mr. Frump!" And she shook her fair hend. , "I simply object to your calling," she said. —Chicago Tribune. | A Mimical Phenomenon. "And what did you think of my operetta, Herr Director?" "Alas! So young a man to produce I such old melodies!"—Fliegendeßlaefc j ter. Not Time to Develop. .Tones—"Why, Bridget, this is a | very small egg!" Bridget—"Sure, sir, it was just 1 laid this morning."—Detroit Free Tress. Thai *4 Dlfterent. [ He—"Darling, I have made a great j fool of myself." She—"l'm aware of the fact." j He—"Oh, you are? Good night." —Detroit Free Press. Analyzing a Metaphor. "T wonder," said Mrs. Meekton, j "why they say that silence is golden." "I guess," replied her husband, ; very unguardedly, "it must be 'cause gold is bo hard to get sometimes."— : Washington Star. An Action. The English Dowager—"So your husband, the Duke, doesn't love you? What are you going to do about it?" j American Heiress—"Sue him foi obtaining money under false pre j tenses." —Town Topics. In the West. First Citizen —"Pete is getting to have a lot of new-fangled notions." ! Second Citizen—"What's the lat 1 est?" First Citizen—"He says he has a prejudice ag'in lynehiu' a man on cir cumstantial evidence."—Puck. Declined With Thanks. Mr. OUboy—"Mis Younger—Clara —from our first meeting I have loveil you. May I hope that you will return J my love?" | Mias Younger—"Certainly, Mr. Oltlboy; I'll return it with pleasure; I | haven't any earthly use for it."—Chi cago Daily News. ! Indignant Constituent. Indignaut Constituent—"The peo- 1 pie are getting roused, sir! Your j day is coming! If you look, sir, you cau see the handwriting on the wall!" Boodle Alderman—"l don't give o ' blame for 110 handwritin' on walls. ! De fellies dat's pulliu* fur me don't j read."—Chicago Tribune. Quick Lunches. Impatient Customer—"l thought you advertised quick lunches. I've | ! been waiting for mine for nearly half an hour, j Waiter—"lt do take a little time to ' get 'em up, boss, but it'll go quick I enough after you gits it. Dey ain't jde kind dat last long."—Cincinnati ; Enquirer. A Foolish Answer. She—"Don't you think Mrs. Waps ley is a beautiful woman?" He —"She is a beautiful woman— . the most beautiful woman, I think, that I have ever seen." She (after he has gone) —"I wonder if he has always been such a fool or whether it has just begun to grow on 1 him lately."—Cleveland Leader. Worth While to Know Him. j Salesman—"You are the lady, I be lieve, who purchased the cook book? Will you take this card, please?" Lady—" 'Dr. Pilton.' Why do you give me this card?" Salesman —"We always give one of his cards to a purchaser of 'Ovener'a Cook Book.' He is very successful in indigestion."—Boston Journal. Appealing to the Record. He—"l'm tired of hearing about woman being the 'better half.' Look at Evo! She led Adam into sin. He never would have eaten the forbidden fruit jf she hadn't eaten it first. How do you get around that?" She—'The Bible says the Lord re -1 pented that He had made man. He never repented having made woman. | Get around that, will you?"— Chicago j Tribune. Rending Character. j Dribbler—"lll my opinion, a man . who writes an illegible hand does it I because he thinks people are willing |to puzzle over it. In other words, he ! is a chunk of conceit." Scribbler "Not always. Some times a man writes illegibly, not be cause he is conceited, but because he is modest." Dribbler—"Modest! What about?" Scribbler—"About his spelling.— New York Weekly. Overdone on the Pyramid. The cyclist and his cycling bride, who were making a tour of Egypt, stood on top of the great pyramid and for some moments contemplated in silence the historic landscape. Then the young man spoke. Stretching out his hands he uttered Napoleon's memorable words: " 'Soldiers, forty centuries are looking down upon you!'" "Why, no, dear," simpered the lovely bride, "I've only done thir teen. " —Chicago Tribune. Curious Hooks. In the British Museum there are books written on bricks, oyster shells, bones and flat atones, auy manuscripts on bark, ivory, leather, lead, iron, oopper and wood. i B |> m I fn ij'sht'U with I Jj JP.li. I iw" ~"M t, e i>est locks, | ! fegf- I'll 53-39 I < 1 ~y \ this exact lai'li for'^oOJ.° (Order now awl avoid disappointment.) D-op a postal for our iiihovrropherl Carpet Catalogue wnichal'os mi culmm I with exact distinct it* i f carper saw- I pies are wanted, muii m ho. in i-tump.*. i >* hy pay your io, ul 1.-lpi 6H r. t - cent. | nsoro than our price- when v. u can huy of the mill? Th" great iiD00DQCDa PN 10 'ts