There are about a dozen strong 1
Presbyterian churches in London,
■whose membership is made up almost
entirely from the working classes.
An effectual way of compelling peo
ple to submit to vaccination has been
adopted in Norway. ' Citizens who
have not been vaccinated, it is said,
are not allowed to vote at an election.
The German naval department has
ordered that a translation of Captain
Mahan's "Influence of Sea Power in
History" be supplied to all the public
libraries, schools and government in
stitutions.
At a recent lecture delivered in
Nuhlhausen, Germany, a missionary
named F.ichler read extracts from a
Chiuese book of the eleventh century
which present some striking points
of resomblauce to Dante's "Inferno."
"Mexico is governed, and it is now
generally conceded that she is well
governed, more economically than any
other country," says Modern Mexico.
"The entire budget expenses of tho
Republic now reach about fifty mil
lion Mexican silver dollars per year,
considerably less than it costs New
York City in gold for its govern
ment."
The literary death-list of the Eng
lish-speaking world in 1897 includes
no great names. Palgrave and Mrs.
Oliphaut represent literature pure anil
simple perhaps better than any others.
Of scholars and historians wo have to
lament Professor Wallace and Caldor
wood and Drisler and Dr. Justin Win.
sor. Professor Henry Drummond and
Henry George lead the class of men of
great native ability given a popular
turn.
The German woman proclaims her
emancipation not only by going for
academic degrees in competition with
the men, but by engaging in all sorts
of trades in like rivalry. A recent
official report shows that there are in
Germany three women employed as
chimney sweeps, thirty-five as sisters,
seven as gunsmiths, 147 as copper
smiths, 379 as farriers and nailers,
309 as masons, eight as stonecutters
and 2000 for marble, slate and stone
quarries.
The insurgent chiefs in tho Philip
pines who surrendered to the Spanish
on the promise of safe transport to
Hong Kong knew better than to trust
the mere word of their captors, states
the New York Mail and Express.
Their followers held their pistols at
the head of Spanish "honor" until
word was received of their safe ar
rival at Hong Kong. It is this knowl
edge of the perfidy of the Spanish
character that made utterly hopeless
at tho outset all negotiations with tho
Cuban insurgents for peace on tho
basis of autonomy. Negotiations im
ply faith, and there is just as little
faith in Spain as there is just now
health in Cuba.
Great Britain's dependence upon the
United States is yearly becoming more
pronounced. Not only in the purchase
of agricultural and mineral products is
that power bestowing marked favoi
upon the American market, but also
in the purchase of industrial and com
mercial products. Much has already
been said of the extensive purchases
which Great Britain has recently made
in this market of electrical outfits and
supplies. Within the last five years
the aggregate value of those purchases
has mounted far up into the millions,
and yet larger orders are being re
ceived from Great Britain at the pres
ent time than ever before. The latest
wrinkle in the trado relations between
the two countries is set forth in the
following significant paragraph taken
from a recent London dispatch: "Her
Majesty's stationery office, which sup
plies all the departments, allows com
mon sense to take precedence over
patriotism. The India office, which is
the most exclusive and old-fashioned
of them all, grumbled upon making the
shocking discovery, but of the chiefs
of the stationery departments an
swered: "What's all this fuss about?
If wo can get liotepapcr in America
better and cheaper than the British
manufacturers can supply, we will
place our orders there." Twenty-live
years ago Great Britain would have
hooted at the idea of buying manu
factured articles in this market. With
the arrogance which her industrial
prestige brought to her she naturally
looked with contempt upon the crude
manufacturing enterprises of the
United States. But times hare
changed, and Groat Britain is to-day
one of the most extensive purchasers
of American products. She buys coal,
iron, bi"&*d-Btufffl, electrical supplies,
cotton, tobacco, paper and numerous
other wares. What a splendid begin
ning for the power which once spurned
our market!
THE WOMAN LOVING YOU.
Thorn's ono thing that can lift the soul above both care and woo—
And since there's ranch of both, of course 'tis well that It is so.
If every friend has left your side and foes have filled their place,
While slander takes your record up its slimy charge to trace
If every rose along your path has disappeared from view—
The world Is not a desert if some woman's loving you.
A curtain pulled aside for eves to watch while you're in sfght—
This cheers you as no million stars can light obscuring night;
The white hand waving you a kiss from lips that love your name.
Can make you overlook men's hate and all their haste to blame.
And God has not forgot the world—you feel that this is true
brace He has given you the boon, the woman loving vou.
—Will T. Hale, in Chicago Times-Herald.
| THE FOREST FIRE. £
O €$
CO By LOUIS E. VAN NORMAN.
ESSIE and I
were friends.
r ys , been
friends since
—well, since
' we wore
rW~ dresses to-
CD gether. That
was when I
was five and she was four. We were,
from tliat time, always together. Like
brother and sister, yon say? More
than this. For brothers 1 and sisters
aro not always close friends. We
were chums. She went everywhere I
went and did everything X did, and,
as we grew up to boyhood and girl
hood,; we jwere inseparable. Even
when X had attained tho dignity of
long pants I preferred her society to
that of my male friends, for there was
nothing soft about Tcssie, except, per
haps, her eyes, and they were a
beautiful, soft haze!.
She was strong and athletic, hut of
a slender build; could drive, row and
swim as well as I could; and had a
oomplexion well browned hv a long
and intimate acquaintance with God's
sunlight. A brave girl, too. I re
member well how once she swam
across a quarter of a mile of choppy
river tj get the doctor for that grumpy
old Sarah Tore, the lighthouse keep
ers wife. She loved the cross old
'd7omau, she said, although no one else
jaw anything in her to love.
Then Tess went to boarding school
and came back at the end of three
years with a little of that "horrible
tan"—that's what her proper sister
Laura called it—gone out of her
cheeks, and just the faintest trace of
city manners about her; but at heart
the same dear old Tess as ever.
Now, although luv girl friend and I
hnd known each other so long and so
intimately, yet we had never fallen in
love with each other. I am positive
of this, because when I got soft on
Jennie Bingham and lavished all my
money on flowers for her, Tess only
laughed. Then there was the time
I tell bead over heels in love with
dashing Cora Sands. Why, then I had
it bad. I got to the stage where you
moon around street corners and carve I
her name on old stumps and gate
eosts. I even wrote my name and
oers together 011 tho marriage page of
tho old family Bible, just to see how
it would look, and then rubbed it out
in guilty haste. Even then didn't
Tessie get up the lawn party and ma
neuvre so that Cora and X were part
ners for the whole evening? And then,
there was the Jack Manners episcde.
Jack quite lost his head over Tess, and
asked her father if he could marry her.
I think he even proposed elopement to
Tessie. But she didn't love Jack, she
said, and so wouldn't hear of his wast
iugjany time or money on her. And
I didn't feel a bit jealous. I am sure
I didn't. So you see it's quite plain
that we had not given tho mischievous
little god Cupid any work to do for
us. But now I was twenty and Tes
sie nineteen, and somehow, as X took
the shapely little hand she offered me
to welcome her back, after those
three years at school, somehow it
came to me suddenly that Tess was a
beautiful girl, and that her eves were
bewitching. And there came into my
heart a strange, uncomfortable feel
ing—dissatisfncl ion, jealousy—what
was it? It certainly was not pleasant.
Suppose some one should take it into
his head to fall in love with Tessie
and marry her? Confound him! But
then, what was that to me? I was
not in love with her. Of course not.
We were simply friends. And yet t
instinctively disliked this fellow who
might mnko love to my girl chum.
The summer I wish particularly to
tell you of, the one following Tessie's
return from school, our folks and her
folks decided to spend the hot season
at a little mountain hamletwitli an un
pronounceable name—a mixture of
French and Indian—thirty miles or so
to the north of Lake Superior. We
had already spent one season there
and knew of n good boarding house
where they gave you enough to eat,
and were too unsophisticated to charge
a ruinous price. It was a one-hor3e
sort of a place, containing about a
dozen families, mostly French Cana
dian habitants, primitive as Noah.
The population numbered about one
hundred persons. The town was
perched right on the side of a tliirteen
hnndred-foot-high hill. Dover Moun
tain, they called it. Directly back of
this hill—in fact, almost a continua
tion of it—rose a tall, pointed moun
tain abont three thousand feet high,
which the French habitants called
Duere's Spine. This eminence, as
well as the hill on which the little vil
lage lay, as though it had been dropped
there, was very thickly wooded. Just
a little space close abont the houses
had been cleared of trees, while for
miles aronnd extended the dense vir
gin forest, most of whose heavy growth
of pine, cedar, chestnut, oak and
hickory, besides a rank undergrowth
of sumac and scrnb oak, had never
been desecrated by the woodman's ax.
The folks were to go up to this wild
retreat early in tlie summer, and I was
to join them in August, when I got my
vacation.
The railroad by which one reached
this out-of-the-way place followed the
shoro of tho mighty Lake Superior for
about one hundred miles from Dulutli,
and then struck into the forest for a
short distance to avoid a great mass
of basalt rock, too bard to tunnel
through, tho tracks coming close to
tho water's edge again about five or
six miles from where they left it. Just
where the road was farthest from the
lake, at the most northeasterly point
of the detour, the train slowed up a
moment to let off any passenger for
the place with the long name. The
hamlet boasted no station, only a plat
form of rough, unhewn logs. From
this point there wound up through the
thick forest a narrow, tortuous road,
rongh and stony, and dark even in tho
daytime, from the overarching trees
up to the houses on the hillside. Only
ouo train a day stopped there, at half
past five, and they always drove down
i'rorn the boarding house to meet it in
an antiquated, nondescript vehicle
that might have come out of the ark.
This was a two-wheeled rig, the
wheels thick, rough slices cut from a
hickory log. The horse usually at
tached to it—he was the only being
attached in any way to the unlovely
thing—was a dignified, conservative
animal, full, of years, and which 110
amount of persuasion, either oral or
fiagellative, had ever been known to
induce to accelerate his progress to
anything faster than a stately walk.
It had been an unusually hot sum
mer. As tho train swept the
lake shore I noticed the vegetation
appeared very dry and parched, and
that the little pools, which always
flashed like gems from the rocky soil
along tho edgo of the lake, had dis
appeared. The yellow-red swamp
lilies that fringed the marshy ground
to the north margin of tlie track
seemed to literally burn in the
scorching rays of the afternoon sun,
and the sparks from the engine stack
fell unpleasantly near some dry hem
lock brash that edged tlie lake. Un
comfortable thoughts of forest fires
came up in my mind. Away ott' to
the west I could see a wreath of thin,
black smoke curling itself lazily up
ward. I watched it a moment nnd it
seemed to get thicker nnd blacker.
, _"A trapper cooking supper," I
thought, but the notion of a forest
conflagration still lingered unpleas
antly in my mind.
As tho train slowed up I grabbed
my valiso and sprang off onto the
platform. The conductor in the ca
boose behind—it was a long train of
two passenger coaches and twenty or
so freight cars —waved his arms and
the heavy train ouee more increased
its speed. Soon it had vanished
around the curve. I walked up and
dowi tho rough platform, waiting for
my stage, and my thoughts again re
turned to the possibility of a fire on
the mountain. What a terrible thing
it would be!
But just then I spied the antedelu
vian rig winding in and out among
the trees, about half a mile up, and 1'
cuicldy dismissed from my mind all
thoughts of fire. Tess was driving
the conveyance and she was alone. I
was delighted with the prospect of a
two-hours' tete-a-tete with her, but
thought it strange that old Joe, the
farm hand, had not come for me, as
usual. Tess explained that the man
was off at Tour Croix, a neighboring
town, helping fight a forest fire.
"Great Heavens!" I exclaimed.
"Suppose the fire should come this
way and overtake us before we get
home!"
Tess laughed. "No danger of that,
I guess," she said, as she turned the
horse's head back in the direction he
had come.
It was a delightful afternoon. The
air was now cooling down and, under
the shade of the trees that overhung
our homeward way, it was very pleas
ant. We chatted and laughed until
we quite forgot the existence of any
such thing as fire or danger.
It was a good eight miles from the
railroad to the farm house, and we had
covered about a quarter of that dis
tance, when, 011 looking to the south,
I suddenly noticed a dense black
sinoko rising in large, thick masses
three or four miles off. It seemed to
be rapidly approaching. Again that
terrible thought of fire suggested
itself.
"We had better get home as quickly
as possible! That is the forest en
fire!" saidJTess. "Wouldn't it be a
terrible thing if it should reach the
road before we do! It is certainly
coming toward us!"
And coming toward lis it was, at a
most alarming rate. Our octogenarian
steed would not move any faster and
the road seemed to cross the track of
the fire some distance ahead of us.
Our situation was becoming serious.
The road was not wide enough to
afford ns au oasis in this approaching
simoon, and if the flames got within
half a mile of us we could not escape,
except by a miracle. The fire came
nearer. There rvas no mistaking it
norv. The evergreens and withered
underbrush had become veritable
tinder in the long-continued hot and
dry spell, and before tljo destroying
Haines they disappeared as snow be
fore the sun. It was only about half
an hour since I first noticed the
smoke, and now we could hear dis
tinctly the distau/ crack and roar of
the flames, and every now and then
the heavy, resonant swish and boom
83 some great king of the forest fell,
crashing through the smaller growth
beneath it. The twilight was coming
swiftly on. We began to get thor
oughly frightened as the lire came
nearer and nearer.
A great cloud of cinders and smoke,
the advance guard of the all-devour
ing enemy, began to blow in our faces
and fire the dry underbrush at our
feet. A breeze had sprung up. We
might have died for it two hours be
fore and not received it, but now,
when its presence was most deadly, it
appeared to give greater velocity to
the already furious pace of our de
stroying enemy.
I applied the whip vigorously to the
old horse, and he seemed to put forth
his oest energies, but the crazy wag
on was so heavy that we did not get
along any faster than a good trot.
The girl beside me was pale, but
her lips were firmly set and her eyes
burned with a lustrous, determined
light. She would not flinch, I saw.
She came of stern stuff, this tender
young girl, and the fierce, stubborn
spirit of hor Dutch ancestry was stand
ing her now in good stead. I knew
Tess would not faint or scream or do
anything foolish or wild, hut would
be a comrade to me in our danger,
with a courage equal, if not superior,
to my own.
On camt the fire. It was now with
jn half a mile of us and roaring like a
wild beast in sight of his prey. A
great cloud of smoke and cinders pre
ceded the flames and blew right in our
faces, making our eyes smart so that
we could scarcely see, and griming
and peppering our flesh till it felt raw.
A flock of teal—great big, beautiful
fellows—swept over us, flying toward
the lake, uttering loud, discordant
criSs. Now and then one of the num
ber would fall to the ground, its
wings, perhaps, singed by the flames
OTer which it had passed. Four
beautiful deer, a massive stag with
magnificent antlers and three soft-eyed
does, came nt full bound from the
covert to the left of the road, the buck
leading in a frightened ruu and the
females following with that startled,
almost human, look in their largo
eyes that one notices in animals at
bay. A long, glossy black snake
writhed its swift way through the un
derbrush, across the road and was
lost to view in an instant. I scarcely
knew how I managed to see all these
minor features in the play which after
wards came so near being a tragedy,
but every little thing is indelibly im
pressed upon my mind, even to this
hour.
Our old horse was now fully alive
to the danger we were in. Ho trembled
and shook in every limb and drew the
rickety old vehicle along ut a rate it
had never gone before. I held the
reins and spoke encouraging words to
him, and tried to comfort the brave
girl at my side. Tess was trying to
keep the cinders off us with a little
silk parasol—one of my gifts to her—
bat soon there were so many holes
burned in that dainty relic of civiliza
tion that it becaino a veritable colan
der, through which poured a red-hot
blinding flood of sparks and smoke. A
great hissing, cracking cinder lighted
on her Tam-o'-Shanter aud that soon
was so near a blaze that I pitched it
off and threw it away. Tess looked
like an angry goddess. Her long brown
hair had escaped from its fastenings
and swept out behind in the wind our
passage created. As she held the
reins while I warded off a great blaz
ing fir bough that came hurtling down
upon us, with her eyes sparkling with
excitement, her face pale as ashes,
and her lips set, she looked like an
other Queen Boadicea driving her
chariot of wrath over the necks of her
proud Roman iusulters. Even in
those moments of agony I wondered
how she kept up so marvelously.
We were now about half way home
and almost in the beltof flame. Things
might now get better, and if we could
hold out for another half hour there
was a chance of our getting off with
our lives. I tried to speak, but my
throat was so parched that 1 could not
utter a sound.
The heat was frightful. Clouds of
dense white smoke settled about us
in suffocating closeness, while the
thunder of the falling giants of the
forest, together with [the sharp fusil
lade produced by their snapping
branches and the ever-increasing roar
of the flames, made up a grand and
awful diapason. And the fire came
closer and closer—aud finally—it
reached us.
"Tess!" I shouted, as I put my arm
about her waist and drew her down
below the sides of the crazy old ve
hicle, "Dear girl, our time has come!
Good-bye!"
"Dear Ben, good-bye!" I read,
rather than heard from her lips. It
was impossible to hear her words.
And ufterjhat, as tho novelists say,
all was like a dream. I have n .ion
fused recollection of a heat so terrible
as to almost force my eyes from their
sockets and shrivel my skin up t)
parchment—of the old horse dropping
to the ground—of standing over lay
brave Tess fighting off the blazing
branches—of agonizing burns on ioy
head, face and hands! Audtlienthere
came a terrible crash! I seemed to
see ten thousand stars and all was
darkness!
I never knew just how long I was
nnconscions, but it must have been
for many hours, for when conscious
ness again mounte 1 her throne in my
soul it was broad day. At first I
could not open my eyes at all. Then
I managed to just separate the lids,
but it was the acutest torment to do
so. I afterwards found that they had
beon horribly burned.
Pull sensibility came back very
slowly. Por awhile I was dazed. I
could not think—only gaze upward
stupidly at the clear sky and wonder
what hud hnppeued. Soon, however,
it all came back—all the horror and
pain—and I attempted to start up.
"My God! Tess!" I groaned, as I
realized fully where I was and what
had transpired. But I found X was
too weak to do anything except barely
move my head.
When I could see about me, what a
desolate scene it was that met my
blurred and crippled vision. As far
as my poor sight could reach there
was nothing but blackness, except
overhead—a landscape in jet silhout
ted sharply agaihst the soft azure of
the clear sky. A few feet from me
lay the figure of a human being! My
God! It was Tess I And was she
dead? Merciful Heaven! About half
of her clothes were gone and she lay
motionless, as though dead.
How I suffered at that sight no one
but myself can ever know. It was
worse than my own misery. But I
could not move, and the hot tears, of
which I was not ashamed, distilled
from my eyes like drops of liquid fire
and ploughed red-hot furrows down
my scorched cheeks. And then I
again lapsed into unconsciousness.
Whole ages might have pussed be
fore I knew anything more. Then
suddenly I opened my eyes and saw.
I wa3 in bed at home. By the beside
sat my small sister Jennie.
"You have been sick just three weeks,
Ben," saidshe, "and 'Tessie' " —every
one of us said "Tessie" and not Miss
Mills—"is just able to walk around."
It came out afterwards that Tess
had received her worst burn whilo try
ing to ward off a great blazing branch
from my head, after I had become un
conscious. Of course, she was lionized
for her bravery—"when I didn't do
anything brave nt all," r.?;o afterwards
said to me, with a bright blush. I
didn't say anything and what I did is
scarcely worth recording.
The doctor snys I will bear no per
manent evil effects of my adventure
save several deep, ugly soars on my
head and arms.
But when I take my youngest boy
on my kneo and pour into his never
tiring ear, again and again, the story
of my escape from a fiery death, and
then look over across the table where
sits ray sweet-faced wife, I shudder nt
the recollection of that night of horror
and marvel at the strength of n true
woman's love.—-New York Ledger.
WISE WORDS.
The head is more a skeptic than the
heart.
Salvation is more than a moral refor
mation.
The pruned limb is seldom the one
that dies.
He insults his nobler self, who mocks
at prayer.
Only the boor thinks it uumauly_to
3ay "thank you."
If our eyes were brighter, the stars
would be brighter.
Utilize even the thorns in your path,
but nat for a pillow.
A wise man's mistakes are the cajii
tal of his experience.
Disposition is the mint that coins
our comforts or thei,r counterfeits.
Monopoly throws gold dust in the
eyes of politicians, to blind them.
"To err is human." Tlj.t is sound
doctrine; nor is it hard to live uj) to.
Some people are baptized simply to
hear the world say, "O, how pious!"
Any demagogue can talk patriotism,
but it takes u man to live it and vote
it.
The greatest deeds are douo by those
who are the least conscious that they
are great.
The man who will do good as often
as he has opportunity will be busy
every day.
The man who knows nothing except
what he has learned from books, is
poorly educated.—Ham's Horn.
Trick of a CJirl Bachelor.
"It's a great thing to be bright,
isn't it. Nan?" said Bess, on the car,
and was overheard by a Washington
Post reporter.
"It undoubtedly is, my dear. But
what called forth that sage remark?"
"Do you remember Florence Brown,
of Selmu, Kan., who was in our class
at college?"
"Of course I do."
"Well, you know that, although a
very pretty and attractive girl, she is
still" unmarried, and lately she wrote
to one of the girls that she was rapid
ly approaching that horrible anniver
sary, her thirtieth birthday, and that
she intended to celebrate it by indulg
ing in a 'lachrymal bellow' all day.
Her friend was much moved with com
passion for her lorn condition, and
wrote to thirty of her classmates that
Florence had written her to that effect,
and asked each one to send her a
handkerchief to assist her in the tear
ful operation. 80, owing to her quick
wit, Florence's thirtieth birthday, in
stead of being a time of mourmng,
proved a most joyful occasion, for she
received thirty pretty handkerchiefs,
each inclosed in a loving epistle, and
it showed her that her friends loved
her none the less for her thirty years."
The Costliest Bean 011 Earth.
It is not generally known that the
vanilla bean is the costliest bean on
earth. It grows wild, and is gathered
by the natives in Papantla and Mis
antla, Mexico. When brought froqj
the forests these beans are sold, at
the rate of $11.25 per 1000, butjwhen
dried and ouredthey cost about
per pound. They are mainly used by
drugr-Uts, and last year over 90,000,-
000 jeans were imported into thi*
oountrr.
THE MERRY SIDE OE LIFE,
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.
\
Two Passions—Two Ifnr<l Cases—Two'#
Company An Illustration AVastlnc
Good Money—A Wise Child—A Modern
Education Practical Finance, Etc.
A woman looks into a glass
Until she's fascinated;
A man looks In another kind
Till he's Intoxicated.
—Philadelphia Bulletin.
Two Hard Cases.
"You have a hard case," said tho
lawyer.
"So did the safe," said the burglar,
"but I cracked it."—The Ledger.
An Illustration.
Husband—"That little Jones boy
seems to lie remarkably fond of cake."
Wife—"Extremely! Why, he even
eats his mother's home-made cakel"—
Puck.
Two's Company.
Mr. Wilberforce—"What do you
think of tho third party, Miss Dim
ling?"
Miss Dimling—"Oh, I always de
tested a chaperon."—Louisville Cour
ier-Journal.
Wasting Good Money.
Charles Bragg—"Yes, Miss Bright
ly, it costs me teu thousand a year to
live."
Miss Brightly—"Oh, Mr. Bragg, do
you think it's worth it?"— Boston
Traveller.
A VVlan'Cllll.l.
Mamma—"Ethel, what do you mean
by shontiug in tliat disgraceful fash
ion? Sec bow quiet Willie is."
Ethel—"Of course he's quiet. That's
our game. He's papa coming home
late, and I'm you."
Practical Finance.
Jones—"They say our circulation
Is twenty-two dollars per capita. Now,
you haven't twenty-two dollars, have
you?"
Smith—"Yes; I have."
Jones—"Have you? Lend me five,
will you?" —Puck.
A Modern Education.
Proud Mother—"At last, my dear
your education is finished, and you
have diplomas from the highest seats
of learning in the world."
Cultured Daughter (wearily)—"Y'es,
and now I'm too old to marry."—New
York Weekly.
Work of the String Band.
Tourist—"What is that crowd over
tho way?"
Native—"That's our string band."
Tourist—"Preparing to give au en
tertainment, I suppose?"
Native—"Yes; going over the rivet ]
to lynch a horse thief." —Chicago
News.
Columbus's Mistake.
Teacher—"Did Columbus know that
ho discover veil a new continent?"
Class—"No; he thought it was In
dia."
Teacher—"Correct. Why did he
think he had found India?"
Bright Boy—"I s'pose it was 'cause
the inhabitants was Indians."—New
York Weekly.
Why the Giraffe In JJumh.
The children had written composi- ;
tions on tho giraffe. They were read- j
ing them aloud to the class. At last
tho time came for little Willie to read
his. It was as follows:
"The giraffe is a dumb animal and
cannot express himself by auy sound, j
because its neck is so long its voice j
gets tired on its way to its mouth."
From Little Willie.
"I had an adventure the other even
ing,"said Miss Autumn to a neighbor on
whom she was calling. "It was quite
dark and I saw a strange man just
ahead of me and I ran until I was
nearly exhausted."
"And did the man get away from
you?" asked little Willie, who was
listening.—Chicago News.
ne Knew the Business.
"What (lid that man want?" asked
the druggist.
"A pint of whisky," said the new
clerk, who was on trial for a week,
"Did he have a prescription?"
"No."
"Well, what did you do?"
"I wrote one for him."
"Consider yourself permanently en
gaged."—Cleveland Leader.
Ju.t Hit It.
Thompson—"Something worrying
you, Newman?"
Newman "Forgotten what my
wife ordered this morning. I remem
ber that, at the time, I thought, 'Well,
that's a sad subject.' What could it
have been?"
Thompson—"Was it sad-irons?"
Newman—"That's just what it was
—three sad-irons!" —Judge.
The New Girl.
The typewriter girl is never dis
couraged. On answering an ad. the
principal of the establishment said to
her:
"I am very sorry, Miss, but you
came too late. I have already en
gaged a young man stenographer."
"Well, introduce me to him. Per
haps I can marry him, and then 1
can take his place," was the prompt
responsee."—New York World.
Great Scheme.
Watson —"Now is your chance, old
man, to get in on the ground floor of
my new company. Stock is sure to
be at a premium before the month is
out."
Bjenks—"What's your scheme?"
Watson —"Company organized to
stand by when the returning RJon
dikers shake the dust of Alaska from
their feet, and gather up the dust, and
smelt out the gold in it."—Son mile
Jovial.
HOUSEHOLD AFFAIRS.
Transparent Apples.
Six large apples, one cup granu
lated sugar, one cup water, one lemon,
white of an egg and two heaping
spoonfuls of powered sugar. Peel and
core the apples, slice the lemon into
the water and cup of sugar and put on
to boil; when boiling, add the apples
and stew till tender; take out cete
fully, without breaking, and arrange
an a dish; boil the sirup quickly ten
minutes longer and pour over the ap
ples; beat the white of egg to a stiff
(roth; add powdered sugar and beat
again. Drop in spoonfuls over the
apples and serve very cold.
Spiced Mackerel.
Spiced mackerel is extremclj appe
tizing and may bo prepared by the fol
lowing directions: Seleot three or
(our fresh, fat mackerel and clean them
without splitting them. Place them
in a crookery dish and sprinkle therf
with salt and pepper, adding three
bay leaves, three blades of mace and
six whole allspioe. Mix vinegar and
water in equal proportions and covei
the fish with it. Cook for three hours
in a slow oven. P.emovo to the serv
ing dish, pour the remaining vinegal
and water left from the three hours'
cooking over the fish, and serve at
once. If put in a cold place the fish
may bo kept for several days.—New
Pork Tribune.
Egg Timlmlo.
Place a saucepan with one table,
spoonful butter over the fire, adding
one heaping tablespoonful flour. Cook
three minutes, without browning, and
add one cup of milk, one teaspoonfu)
salt, half teaspoonful pepper, and a
small bouquet. Stir and cook ten
minutes, or until it forms a smooth
sauce. 1 ! jJThen strain it into a clean
saucepan and add two tablespoonfuli
fine chopped mushrooms, one table
spoonful fine chopped truffle.
Cook teu minutes longer, add six
hard ;boiled eggs, previously pressed
through a potato presser, and three
raw yolks of eggs, cooking the whole
over the fire for five minutes. Then
add the three whites, beaten to a stifl
froth.
Butter eight timbnle molds, decorate
the bottom with a star of truffle, and
sprinkle the entire inside of mold with
some fine chopped parsley. Fill in
the mixture, and, covered with but
tered paper, place in a medium hot
oven about thirty minutes, or till done.
This can be tested by trying each
timbale, before they are taken out ol
the mold, with a larding needle 01
skewer. If it comes out clean it i
done. Serve with tomato cream sauce.
'The truffles may be omitted if not
handy.—New York Press.
Household Hints.
Buy a boiled lobster only if he has
his tail kinked up under him, beoause
that shows that lobster was strong
and muscular when he was put into
the boiling water.
Silk may be restored by sponging,
and while quite damp it should be
rolled on a broomstick and left until
quits dry. This may take twelve
hours or more. Silk should never be
ironed.
Soiled places on bed or pillow ticks
aro improved if covered thickly with
moistened starch and placed in the hot
sunshine. When the starch has dried,
rub the spots which it has covered vig
orously with the dry starch.
Moisten the buttonholes of starched
collars, wristbands or cuffs a little (on
the wrong side) before attempting to
button them or to insert cuff buttons;
they will more easily button, and the
buttonholes will keep longer intact.
Salt thrown on coals when broiling
steak will ; prevent blazing from the
dripping fat. When contents of pot
or pan boil over, or are spilled, throw
on salt atonoe. It will prevent a disa
greeable odor, and the stove or range
may be more readily cleaned.
Do not fail to oil the wringer every
time you wash. If oiled often there
is less wear on the machinery, and less
strength is expended by the operator.
To clean the rollers, rub them first
with a cloth saturated with kerosene
oil, and follow with soap and water.
Always loosen the rollers before put
ting the wringer away.
To eat a soft-boiled egg daintily and
without ncoident to fingers or napkin
is a coveted accomplishment. A great
improvement upon the china egg cup
is the little graoeful affair made of
twisted wire oalled an "egg-holder."
On its standard is the cup proper,
while at the top rests a tiny oiroular
knife whioh removes the end of the
shell smoothly, leaving an opening for
the egg spoon.
When flatbons become rough or
soiled, place a little fine salt on a paper
and rub them back and forth over it.
Put a little beeswax between two pieces
of cloth and keep near the ironing
table. If the irons get coated with
scorohed staroh, rubbing them over
the cloth will usually remove it. When
ironing starohed goods, rub the irons
over a bit of sandpaper before return
ing them to the stove.
The broken pieces and crusts of
bread not fit for toast may be put into
a pan and dried, not browned, in a
cool oven. Better leave the dooropeD
or you may forget them. When thor
oughly dry roll them on an old bread
board; sift through a coarse sieve; put
them into a glass jar or tin box ano
stand them aside for breading cro
quettes, cutlets or oysters. This will
save the purohase of cracker crumbs.
Flannels must be washed in water
of uniform temperature. Whether it
: be hot, lukewarm or cold does not so
mnoh matter, but for the best results
i the water must be of like temperature
| for the several processes, all of whioh,
including drying, should be conducted
! with despatch. Wash qniokly, rinse
' quickly, dry quickly, is the injunction
for washing flannels. Woolens should
I uever be allowed to freeze dry. Frees-
I log injures the fibre.