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FREELAND, PA.. MARCH 15, 1897.
1 The llancly Hairpin.
Many writers have referred to the
itronderful use 3 of the hairpin, simple
ttfcough that little implement may l>e.
Not long ago some one made out a list !
of several hundred uses to which the j
fialrpin may be put, and, even then, con
fessed to missing as many more. But
liere us something quite novel in the list
of the hairpin's benefactions to human
ity. It is given on the authority of the ;
Hartford Post. A fuse burned out in
one of the Wethersfteld cars the other
evening and the car at once came to a
standstill. After a moment the motor
man openod the front door and putting
in his head inquired: "Can any lady lend
me a hairpin?" His singular request
was at once complied with and in a
short time the ear was again under
way. "What did he want that hairpin
for?" asked the woman who had sup
plied it of the conductor when thatoffi
cial came to collect her fare. "To make
a fuse out of," was the reply, "and I
guess you are entitled to ride free this
trip." And she did, while the other pas
sengers applauded heartily.
Rev. Mr. Endlich, a New Jersey
preacher, recently had removed from
his right arm a needle which had been
meandering through his system for 13
years. He stepped upon it one niglit
just as he was retiring, the needle en- 1
twring his heel and breaking off so that
it could not be extracted. Notwith
standing the long lapse of years since
the needle entered his frame, Mr. End- j
lich has paid little attention to it. He
never once lost the thread of his dis
course, aud his sermons were always
■pointed. He basted the sinners with all
bis usual fervor and sowed the truth dil- ,
igrntly at all times. There was no "be
twixt and between" about him, and
when ho used the familiar comparison
of the plutocrat and the camel, as he
often did, he was particularly happy.
Comment is needless.
It is related by the Washington Post
that an Illinois member of congress
once dined in Chicago with "Billy"
Mason, who is now a United States sen
ator-elect. They had talked of the de
sire of Mr. Mason to come to the sen
ate, had admired the beautiful house in
which he lives, had even inspected the
tiled glories of the bathroom, and then,
smoking an after-dinner cigar, the two
friends walked downtown together.
When they were some distance from the
bouse the representative turned and
looked back at the large and brilliantly
light dwelling. "You have n beauti
ful home," said the representative.
"Yes," replied Mason, with a sound
that was between a laugh and a sigh,
'"but I can hear that house drawing in
terest two blocks away."
Maj. J. G. Lee, Louisiana's com
missioner of agriculture, says that from
•i lie 2,500,000 acres in that state under
cultivation there is raised annually
about $75,000,000 worth ofdiffercnt prod
ucts, and he claims that no other state
in the union can show equal results.
The state contains 25,000,000 acres of
land. Louisiana is not generally given
credit for all that Maj. Lee claims for
the state.
Signora Cousino, of South America,
the richest woman in the world, has
copper and silver mines that yield her
.an income of SIOO,OOO per month, and
coal mines that net $85,000 a month,
while her stock farms produce more rev
enue than all her mines put together,
fihe also owns a fleet, of steamships
und immense bodies of land.
"OH, I DUNNO."
Cindy's all curly langle®, en her ryes
©s deep ©n' gray,
En'v they alius seems er-dreamln' en' cr*
gazln' far away
Wen I ses: "Say, Llndy, darlln', shell I
stay er shell I go?"
En* she looks at mo er-smllin' en' 8110 sea:
"Oh, 1 dunno!"
Xow, she knows es I'm ©r-lovln' her fer
years en' years en' years.
Cut she keeps me hesitatin' between my
doubts en' fears,
En' I'm gettln' pale en' peaked, en' ©t's !
Jee' frttm frettln* so
Ovur Llndy weth her Jaughln' en* er- i
sayln': "I dunno!"
T'other night we cum frum meetin', en' 1
asks her fer a kiss,
En' I tells her she's so many thet er few
she'll never miss;
En* she looks up kinder shy-like en' she
whispers sorter low:
"Jim, I'd ruther thet yer wouldn't, but—
er—well—oh, I dunno!"
Then I ses: "Now, see here, Llndy, I'm er
wantin' yer ter state
Ef yer thinks yor'll ever lovs me, en' ©f 1
hod better wait,
Fer I'm tired uv this foolin', en' I want? to
he yer beau,
En' I'd like ter hear yer sayln' authln' else i
but *1 dunno!' "
Then I puts my arms around her, en' I ,
holds her close en' tight.
En' the stars away up yander seems er- I
tvlnkln' et th' sight,
Es she murmurs sof' en' faintly, weth th' ;
words er-comln* slow:
"Jim, I never loved no other!" Then J i
aes: "Oh, I dunno!"
Y. Truth. |
IN COLLABORATION.
Characters: Lionel Rous, author; Ccn- |
stance Carruthers, authoress.
Scene: A room in a farmhouse near the
little village of Fernstono. He has Just j
filled a large, old-fashioned grate with torn
foolscap pages, which he ignites by means ,
of a wax taper. Having assured himself
that his work of demolition will soon he J
complete, he draws chair to table and pre- I
pares to write a letter.
V A r/jcl / E ( rite 3) "M v
Dear Dick—News
*"*/ / ' u ni'inioture, fori
11111 returning to
London to-mor
row R ball see
you within a
week), a i widen
fj' resolve due to a
/' m tardy discovery
that I am a bigger
fool than you thought me. I came to
this little village to write a novel omid
the actual surroundings of a real drama
—in the which I have imbedded my
plot. Lodg'mg in the same shanty is
Constance Carruthers, the clever lady
novelist; imagine, then, my surprise
(not to mention my forebodings and
literary jealousy) when, during one o!
our numerous country rambles, i I
gleaned that she was at work upon a (
novel moved by the self-same motive a* I
my own. Yeo; she too had read the
paragraph in the Moon relating to the !
village tragedy that had fired my ini- j
agination, and she too has come, tc j
Fern stone in search of local color. MY j
dilemma is obvious, since there is nc,
demand for two no\.ls similar in plot I
ami design. A survival of the fittest .
was inevitable. Keeping my discovery
secret, I took clandestine advantage of
my opportunity to peruse Miss Carrti
thers' manuscript. Conceive the hor- j
ror, pique, disgust, with which I diaeov ;
ered that hen* novel (nearly finished)
was in every way superior to mine. 1: i
was a lesson in comparative incapacity.
Beside Miss Carruthers' story mine is i
limp and fatuous. Her style is as vigor !
ously refreshing and her expansion o'
the motive as clear ns one. knowing her j
would expect. Undoubtedly the lilted |
lias survived. My own inept endeavor i
seventy-odd foolscap pages, represent
:ng nine weeks' work, is now crumbling j
in charred disorder in the grate. (G oo j
1o the fireplace and viciously prods tin i
smouldering paper with a poker. Thei
returns to the table and continues.) 1
wish you were acquainted with Mis/ j
Carruthers; you would the sooner con I
done the weakness with which yow
chafT me. She is womanly in thought j
and act; yet T nm timid in her presence ,
iT?r manner is impulsive, sympathetic
kind; yet in nil the natural advantage/ |
of our position, T dare not whisper that t
1 worship her very shadow. Without i
being supercilious, she wears a super!- i
oritv thift defies one's amorous ap
prooches --that superiority which jam/ !
the. brake on my vanity. It rays as
plainly as words: .'lie who would own j
me must, first prove himself worthy ot !
the possession.' T have been dreaming i
that my novel might accomplish some
thing in that direction; but alas! Il i
only her I>nok had been a little inferioi ;
to mine—"
(A knock nt. the door.) Come in
(Knter Miss Carruthers). •
She (hesitates) - You arc nt work
Mr. Rous; I will not disturb you.
lie ( jumps up)— Merely a lei ter, T as
sure you.
She (comes forward) —T only wanted
to say good-by.
He—Going away?
She Tn the morning—and you arc
not an early riser.
He—You are going to finish youi
novel elsewhere?
She—Finish—! (Laughs lightly.) My
novel is already finished, thank you.
lie- Indeed! My congratulations.
More to follow on its publication. I
wish you the success your genius de
rcrves
Slip (nervously)— You're very kind—
but I'm afraid -that is, I've determined
not to publish that particular story.
He —What! You don't really mean
it?
She—l am serious; (quickly) but
piease don't request explanations. 1
hare very substantial reasons. When
will your book be finished. Mr. Hons?
lie—lt lias been finished this ten
minutes, Miss Carruthers. (Points tc
grate.) Absolutely, undeniably, irre
mediably finished.
She—But—you don't mean —you have
i burnt your manuscript?
He—Behold the ashes! Inm off to
London by the morning express.
6he (imperatively)— Mr. Itous—why
have you destroyed your work?
He—Because it was BO very inferior
to an existing atory eeotalnlng precise
iy Iks Ms?yi?y v ,
j She—l never heard of the story.
He —Yet you wrote it. I refer to the
work of genius you have developed dur- :
Ing the past few weeks. Yes; 1 deserve i
your condemnation. I read yourmanu- I
script that morning you took it out
under the. willow trees and wandered
away in search of wild flowers instead j
of working. 1 happened along, if you !
remember, and found it by your sun- j
-hade on the ground. I scanned it well '
be/ore your return to the shade of the
willows and consciousness of my pres- j
ence.
1 She—Mr. Rous—!
He—Don't spare ine. It was a breach
of good manners, I admit, but from a
previous conversation I had gathered
that you were nt work upon the very
plot J was trifling with, and it was evi
dent that publication was reserved for
one. There is the result of my reason- j
ing (indicates the grate.) In vindica- j
j tion of bad manners I can nt least urge
that my judgment was discreet, and
That my curiosity was not based upon a
mean motive. I claim your mercy,
i She— O, Mr. Rous, don't appeal to me. j
IMy own conscience is far from free. 1
He —In what way?
She—Call to mind an afternoon Inst j
week when 3011 slept beneath the apple
trees in the orchard, your foolscap and i
fountain-pen beside >*ou. 1 was reading
—close at hand—a book, before you
dozed—vour manuscript after.
He—O!
She —Tn mitigation of which I ad
vance much the same arguments as j
yourself. From the conversation vou
referred to I suspected that my plot
was your plot.
He—You read the paragraph in the J
Moon, as I suspected?
She—And eaine here in search of local
color. I sat in judgment, too, as 3*oll
did, upon our respective stories, and —
He—But yours was indubitably the
befet.
She—l arrived at the opposite con
clusion. Mr. Rous.
He—You are mistaken. Your story j
was incomparably superior to mine.
She—l cannot agree with you.
He—At least, you will publish yours,
since mine is in ashes.
She —If I must confess—that is im
possible. Mine is at the bottom of the
river.
He—Never.
She—Frankly, Mr. Rous, I was |
ashamed of mine, after perusing 3'ours. j
So I drowned it, as u boy drowns a rat. '
with a brickbat for dead weight.
(There is a long pause and much ;
silent reflection. At last he speaks. !
very deliberately.)
He—Must you return to London to
morrow, Miss Carruthers?
Fhe—There is no reason for delay. 1
have finished my novel.
He—The plot is really n good ue.
She—Worth your rewriting, Mr. Rous, j
indeed it is.
He—lt is worth the writing again,
undoubtedly. I was thinking that if
;
"i NEVER HEARD OF THE STORY."
vou were at liberty to remain here foi
! 11 few weeks we might—collaborate?
| She (enthusiastically)— Would vou
I really like to?
1 He—Beyond everything.
| She—l have never tried collaboration,
but I think it must be delightful.
He—l feel sure of it. (Five minutes j
later she goes, and he hastily finishes 1
j his letter.) "I have seen Miss Cnrruth- !
; crs, Dick, old boy, and am not coming i
Ixack to town just yet. Will explain
i more lucidly later. Miss Carruthers
J and I are going to rewrite our story—
;in collaboration. Don't be surprised if
you hear that the collaboration is to
last."—Black and White.
An Unsafe Criterion.
A story is going the rounds which il- 1
i lustra tea the vanity of estimating 11 um- 1
| bers by noise. It sets forth that a Yan- I
j Lee once went to a hotel where he tried
| and liked a dish of frogs' legs—for
j which, however, he had to pay a large
, price.
| "What makes you charge so much for j
; em?" he asked the landlord.
! "Because they arc scarce," answered I
j the hotelkeeper.
J "Scarce!" exclaimed the Yankee, '
"Why, I'll agree to get you 1,000,000 of
j >iu."
; "Agreed,"'said the landlord; "if 3-011
1 bring me 1,000,000 I'll find a market for
them."
"All right—l'll have 'em by to-night,
, sure."
The Yankee, went away, and at night
| came back with eight pairs of frogs*
! lego.
! "Where nre the rest of the million?"
j asked the landlord.
| "Well, to tell the truth," answered
the Yankee, "I formed my judgment of
the number ly the noise!"— Youth's
Companion.
—The number of asteroids discovered
up to present date is 423. A number of
these small planets have not been ob
served since their discovery, and are
practically lost. Consequently it is now
sometimes a matter of doubt, until the
elements have been computed, whethc r
the supposed new planet is renlly new.
cr only an old one rediscovered.
NICE FOR THE DOGS.
flow New York's Swell Glrlg Now Carry 1
Their Canine Pets.
The swell girl who is thoroughly up
to date no longer curries her pet dog us
if it were a tender infant. It-is not at all
; uncommon to see a fashionably dressed
woman walking along carrj'ing the
| curly object of her adornment
| wrapped up in n contrivance that re
sembles a shawl strap. It is a sort of
harness with a strap fastened over the
dog's hips and another over liis breast,
lifter the fashion of the hame and the
breeching that form so important a
feature of the harness of a horse.
At first thought it might seem as if
the canine swell would object to being
HOW TO CARRY YOUR DOG.
suspended in midair in this way. Quite
the contrary, however. Experience
shows that it is much more comfort
able than being squeezed and smoth
ered in the arms of his mistress or her
maid, no matter how carefully they try
to move him about.
Moreover, since the harness is no im
pediment to the dog moving about on
his feet, a chain can be attached to the
handle und the little animal led along
its easily as if he had no harness on at
all.
All sovts of dogs that are small
enough for pets are carried in this
fashion. The new style is very popular
among all the young women who own
dogs, but the style is not limited to the
younger members of the smart set.
The matron and the dowager also fol
low it with scrupulous care.
For the winter season the carrying
harness and the blanket are combined.
As a rule, t.he blanket is of corduroy,
and keeps the shivering pet as warm as
bus mistress in her furs. In color, the
blanket is generally red, and it is a
comical sJght to see this red blanketed
and behandled creature trailing along
at the side of his mistress as she walks
down the street, or hanging limply
from the blanket harness as it depends
from the lady's hand.
Prices of the carrying harness and
blanket vary consfderablv, ranging
from five to forty dollureeaeh. Some
times the leather and the blanket, are
embroidered with silver, and occasion
ally gold ornamentation glitters on the
combination. Combine the gold col
lar set with diamonds, and the gold and
fiilverornamcnted carrying harness and
blanket, and the result makes the pam
pered dog of fashion almost its conspic
uous an object as his pretty and richly
dressed mistress.
Upon stormy days, when his mistress
desires to give the small aristocrat an
airing she can carry him in a newly
invented satchel which answers the
purpose admirably. It is rounded in
form, opens at one side, and at one end
the leather is upon hinges and can be
let entirely down or partially so, as maj'
be desired.
When this is done, a net work of
leather or sometimes silver wire is re
vealed, permitting the occupant of the
queer looking satchel to breathe all the
fresh air it desires.—N. Y. Herald.
DRESSING THE BED.
Much CUD lie Accomplished Now with
Very l.ittio Money.
People in good circumstance:; and in
good society still prefer bi ass bedsteads.
Those next in favor are mahogany and
other hard woods; then softer woods
stained the new moss green or enameled
white, with designs of windmills and
canals in blue, to imitate delft ware.
(Bedspreads come in all the delicate
colors, but the unrelieved white are the
most desirable, because the best to
launder. Cottage quilts- are gay weav
ings at a low price, which resemble the
homemade efforts of our grandmoth
ers. These spreads are especially sold
for the summer house use and the
rooms of young girls.
Mitcheline is the name of a "Mar
seilles" effect in delicate colors, pink,
blue, light and delft, with flower and
fern, patterns; two dollars. There
are better qualities in these effects and
the colorings include deep yellow and
lilac, as well as pinks and blues.
English dimity spreads are inexpen
sive, some as low as two dollars. Then
there are white spreads, with the deep
, border and "brocaded" flowerings of
; large size, also with the "satin" linish.
You can pay as high as $25 for some
of those, and when you get to- cicgaoit
lace spreads laid over these there
is no limit to the cost. Plain or elab
orate, there is just one way now in favor
for dressing a bed, and that is with the
cover neatly tucked in all around and
surmounted by a round French bolster,
whose cover must match the spreads.
Heavy white linen with borders and
centerpiece embroidered in yellow wash
silk looks well. —Chicago Chronicle.
CASTOR IA
For Infants and Children.
The
Philadelphia
Record
after a career of nearly twenty
years of uninterrupted growth is
justified in claiming that the
standard first established by its
founders is the one true test of
A Perfect Newspaper.
To publish ALL THE NEWS
promptly and succinctly and in
the most readable form, without
elision or partisan bias; to dis
cuss its significance with frank
ness, to keep AN OPEN EYE
FOR PUBLIC ABUSES, to give
besides a complete record of cur
rent thought, fancies and dis
coveries in all departments of
human activity in its DAILY
EDITIONS of from 10 to 14
PAGES, and to provide the
whole for its patrons at the nom
inal price of ONE CENT—that
was from the outset, and will
continue to be the aim of "THE
RECORD."
The Pioneer
one cent morning newspaper in
the United States, "The Re
cord" still LEADS WHERE
OTHERS FOLLOW.
Witness its unrivaled average daily
circulation exceeding 160,000
copies, and an average exceed
ing 120,000 copies for its Sunday
editions, while imitations of its
plan of publications in every im
portant city of the country testi
fy to the truth of the assertion
that in the quantity and quality
of its contents, and in the price
at which it is sold "The Record"
has established the standard by
which excellence in journalism
must be measured.
The Daily Edition
of "The Record" will be sent by
mail to any address for 53.00 per
year or 25 cents per month.
The Daily and Sunday
editions together, which will give
its readers the best and freshest
information of all that that is
gci lg on in the world every day
in the year including holidays,
will be sent for $4.00 a year or
35 cents per month.
Address
THE RECORD PUBLISHING CO.
Record Building,
Philadelphia, Pa.
GREAT BARGAINS IN
Dry Goods, Groceries
and Provisions.
Notions, Carpet, Boots and Shoes,
Flour and Feed,
Tobacco, Cigars,
Tin and Qitecnswarc,
Wood and Willowirarc,
I'able and Floor Oil Cloth, Etc.
A celebrated brand of XX Hour
alwuys in stock.
Roll Butter and Eggs a Specialty.
My motto is small protlts and quick sales.
I always have fresh goods and am
turning my stock every month.
Every article is guaranteed.
AMANDUS OSWALD,
N. W. Cor. Centre and Front Sts., Freeland.
Are You a Roman Catholic
Then you shouldonjoy reading the liternry
productions of the best talent in the Catho
lic priesthood and laity (and you know what
they CAN do), as they apj>ear weekly in
The Catholic Standard and Times
OF PHILADELPHIA,
The ablest and most vigorous defender of
Catholicism. All the news—strong edito
rials—a children's department, which is ele
vating and educational. Prizes offered
monthly to the little ones. Only 0*2.00 per
year. The (rainiest Premium ever Issued by
any paper given to subseribers for 1887. Hend
for sample copies and premium circular.
The Catholic Standard and Times Pub'g Co
508-505 Chestnut St. Phlln.
Dr. N. MALEY,
Bimif.
Second Floor, Birkbeck Brick.
OVEK BIRKBECK'S STORE.
Best Cough Byrup. Tastes hood. Use
In time. Sold by druggists In
PLEASURE CALENDAR.
March 15.—Lecture by Rev. Father
Phillips, of Plains, under tin; auspices
of Division 0, A. O. 11.. at the Grand
opera house. Subject: "Ireland for
the Irish and the Land for the Peo
ple." Admission. 25 and 15 cents.
March 17. —Production of "The Rag-
Pickers' Child," under the auspices of
St. Patrick's cornet band, at the
Grand opera house. Admission, 3ft, 35
and 15 cents.
March 17.—Hall of DcPlerro's orchestra
at Yannes' opera house. Admission,
50 cents.
March 23.—"The Hidden Treasure,"
under the auspices of the Junior
Dramatic Company, at Yanneg' opera
house, Admission, 10, 15 and 25c.
- p p
[jPTffffTTWRPiI
THAT THE
AVege table Preparation for As- SI GN ATU R E
simulating Hie food andßegula
tir\g the Stomachs and Bowels of OF
Promotes Digestion,Cheerful
nessandßest.Contains neither
KScotic"' 13 ON THE
W |\Ar r L-J-5L Hon
RAILROAD TIMETABLES
THE DELAWARE, SUSQUEHANNA ANL
SCHUYLKILL RAILROAD.
Time table in effect December 15, 1895.
Trains leuve Urifton lor Jcddo, Eckley, Huzle
Brook, Stockton. Beaver Meadow Koad, Koun
and Hazleton Junction at 5 ;10, 6UU u in, 4 15 p
m. daily except Sunday; and 7 03 a in, 2 38 p m,
Sunday.
Trains leuve Drifton tor Harwood. Cranberry,
Tonihicken and Deringer at 5 30 a in. p m, daily
except Sunday; aud 7 03 a m, 238 p oi, Sun
day.
Trains leave Drifton for Oneida Junction,
Hurwood Koad, lluoiboldt Hoad, Oneida aud
Sheppton atti 00 a ra. 4 16 p m, daily except Sun
day; and 7 03 a in, - 38 p iu, Sunday.
Trains leave llazleton J unction for Hurwood,
Cranberry, Tomhicken aud Dcnnger at 835 a
m, daily except Sunday; aud 8 63 a rn, 4 22 p m,
Sunday.
Trains leave Hazleton Junction for Oucida
Junction, llurwoou Koad, Humboldt ltoad,
Oneida and Sheppton at U 29, 11 10 a in, 4 4ti p in,
daily except Sunday; urnl 7 37 a m, 308 pin,
Sunday.
Trains leave Deringer for Tonihicken, Cran
berry, Harwood, llazleton Junction, Hoan,
Beaver Meudow ltoad. Stockton, Uazle Brook,.
Eckley, Jeddo and Drifton ut 2 25, 5 40 p in,
daily except Sunday; aud 937 a ui, 507 p in,
Sunday.
Trains leave Sheppton for Oneida, Humboldt
Koad, Harwood ltoad, Oneida Junction, Hazle
ton Junction and Hoan at 7 11 a in, 12 40, 525
p m, daily except Sunday; and 8 09 a m, 3 44
p in, Sunday.
Trains leave Sheppton for Beaver Meadow
Koad, Stockton, llazlc Brook, Eckley, Jcddo
and Drifton at 525 p in, daily, except Sunday;
aud 8 09 a in, 3 44 p in, Sunday.
Trains leuve Hazleton Junction for Beaver
Meadow Koad, Stockton, Huzle Krook, Eckley,
Jeddo aud Drifton at 3 09, 5 47, 620 p m, daily,
except Sunday; and 10 us a in, a 38 p tn, Sunday.
All trains connect at llazleton Junction with
electric cars for Hazleton, Jeaneaville, Auden
ried and other points on the Traction Com
pany's line.
Trains leaving Drifton at 600 a m, Hazleton
Junction ut G29 a m, und Sheppton at 7 11 a in,
connect ut Oneida Junction with Lehigh Valley
trains east und west.
Train leaving Drifton at 5 30 a m makes con
nection at DerinKer with I'. K. K. train for
Wilkesburre, Suubury, liurrisburg aud poluts
west.
For ilie accommodation of passengers at way
stations between Hazleton Junction and Der
inger, an extra tram will leuve the former
pnuitut3 50 p m, daily, except Sunday, arriv
ing at Deriiiger at 6 UU p m.
LUTiiEK C. SMITH, Superintendent.
LEHIGH VALLEY RAILROAD.
November 10, 18DG.
A ibtained,and Pat- 1 !
A ent business conducted for MOTOR RATE FEES.
J OUR OFFICE IS OPPOSITE U. 9. PATENT OFFICE '
J and we can secure patent in less time than those
g remote from Washington.
f Send model, drawing or photo., with descrip- <*
Jtion. We advise, if patentable or not, free of 1 '
g charge. Our fee not due till patent it secured. \ >
i A PAMPHLET, "How to Obtain Patents," with i '
J cost of same in the U. S. and foreign countries ,
F sent free. Address, , >
jC.A.SNOW&CO.
5 ©pp. PATENT OFFICE, WASHINGTON, D. C.