Newspapers aro suppressed in Japan
not merely for political reasons, but
for publishing scandalous articles
on the private life and family affairs
of individuals.
A Boston jury recently decided that
"Yankee Doodle" was not a fit tuno
for a Sunday concert, and now objec
tion is being made by the Now Eng
land Sabbath Protection Leaguo to a
Sunday performance of Rossini's ora
torio, "Moses in Egypt."
The salt industry of Utah is grow
ing rapidly. Five years ago not ovor
twenty carloads of refined, or, as
commonly called, commercial salt,
were sold annually to outside points
by Utah men, says tho San Francisco
Examiner. Now the busiuoss is about
1300 cars of refined salt annually.
ThoTlartford (Conn.) Courant tells
a story of Yalo in tho old days. Tho
boys to bribo the printers'
"devils" to got proofs of tho examina
tion papers for thorn. When tho col
lego authorities put a stop to this
practice a bright idea seized ouo follow
and ho saved tho whole suffering party.
He hired ono of tho printers (it was
summer) to wear a pair of white
trousers to tho office, and at noou to
sit down on tho "form" in which were
locked tho precious questions. Tho
inky seat of that pair of trousers sold
for a deal moro than tho clothes woro
worth in their original epotlessness,
and relief was assured.
Cambridge, Mass., is indignant,
justly it would seem to Harper's
Weekly, because the Postoffico De
partment declines to recognize its ex
istence ofilcially except as "Station F,
Boston." Tho city ordered tho other
day of tho Government soruo thou
sands of stamped onvolopes on which
was to be printed tho notico to return,
if not dolivered to City Hall, Cam
bridge, Massachusetts. Word came
back that the printing would not be
done as ordered, but tho letters would
bo made returnable to Station F, Bos
ton. Of courso Cambridge was indig
nant. It got its envelopes and had
them printed privately to its own taste,
and now its Citizens' Trado Associa
tion is on tho war path, and its Con
gressman bus been notified to make
trouble. Harvard University, as loca
ted by tho Postoffico printer, is at
"Station F, Boston."
It is truo tho settlement of tho West
and Northwest has been largely by
immigrants from foreign countries,
but theee immigrants have been of the
best kind. The class of immigrants
who find it to their tasto to drift into
tho slums of the largo cities have never
come west of Chicago in large num
bers, says the Sioux City (Iowa) Jour
nal. The Germans, French, Dutch,
English, Scotch, Scandinavians and
Irish, who have gono upon farms of
tho West to rnnko homes for them
selves, or have built up the small
towns and flourishing young cities of
tho West, havo been intelligent aud
well educated, and they have come to
the United States with fixed purposes
and sensible plans. Tho fact that the
undesirable immigrants aro filling up
tho cities of tho East and driving
Americans westward is sufficient cause
for alarm—in the East. It is this fact
that gives to the movement for greater
restrictions on immigration so much
force. It is not desirable that we
should receive fewer immigrants, but
it is desirable that thoso immigrants
should bo of a better class.
The reasons for the interest with
which the plans for a Pacific cable are
watched in England aro not altogether
political or strategical, says tho Now
York Post. The possible diversion of
cable traffic from an old submurino
system to a new is indicated in somo
figuies given in London at tho last
meeting of the "Eastern Extension"
Company, one of the greatest of tho
enterprises to which Sir John Pender
gave his thought. Tho gross revenue
is about $1,000,000 a year ; tho work
ing expenses run only about $900,000
n year. Di cussing tho prospects of a
1 acitic cable c ompetition, tho Marquis
of Tweedale said that the loss of the
Easttru Exlenlion business might
range from SBOO,OOO to $1,250,000 a
year. He hardly expected such ad
verse conditions, however, aud mean
time the new rival cables had not been
laid. As to the possibilities of an
augmented cable traffic at tho anti
podes and with China and Japan, it
appeared that an iuorcaso of $250,000
in the last half-year had sprung almost
entirely from the activity iu "Wea
traliau" gold mining, As regards tho
stability of the English submarine
cablo enterprises, it may bo noted
that the Eastern Extcntion property
is valued at a premium of $10,000,000
on its capital value, aud tho allied
Eastern Telegraphs at about $20,000,-
000 moro over the capital value.
WHEN THE WINTER SUN 13 LOW
When the wintor sun is low
And the wind through waving trees,
Flinging frost doth hurrying go.
Moaning liko tho moaning sea;
Through tho fields bereft of cheer
Sad I walk and dream of thoo—
All were sweet If thou wort hero;
Love, why com'st thou not to me?
When tho wintor moon is high,
And tho blast noross tho wold
Llowoth from tho northern sky
Whore tho stars aro gllstouiug oold,
o't the sighing foils alone
Sad I walk and dream of thoo—
Sorrow never maketli moan,
O, ray love, when thou'rt with ma.
When tho stars wax taint aud white,
And gray dawn begins to shake
Through tho skies her dappled light,
Frora my restless couoli I wake;
Then my soul files out to thee,
Swift to theo, her own sweet oboicef
Ah! why oom'st thou not to me,
With tho healing of thy voice?
Through the fields I walk In woo,
# For thy smile is far away;
And the tears In secret flow,
Sorrow's rain, from day to day.
Oh, my sweetheart, oh my own,
Why should s- ace or pl'ico divido
Hearts that God hath made as one?
Thoo I claim, my heaven sent bride!
—D. J. Douahoe, in Donation's Magazine.
AN All MY I'OST STORY.
UY CLARENCE L. CCLLEN.
"YH n /yIIjSON joiueJ tlie
f, \Y r buttery at Fort
\/\f Canby a little
while before the
a Territory of W'ush
.-■"S'"ffv.-. "' A became a
v ■ " I Ee had
ss•l V\ .. V-> enlisted at Seattle
8% V'fc • 11 recruit, aud
-• was therefore
classed as a
"prairio chicken," as soldiers then
wcro who "took on" anywhere west
of the Mississippi. Wo all had a good
many reasons lor believing, however,
that Wilson was not quite so muoh of a
rooruitas his Seattle enlistment record
showed on its face. None of us could
remember having soldiered with him
anywhere, and his face was unfamiliar
to all. Nevertheless, from tho day he
arrived at Canby in charge of the So
attlo batch of recruits, of which, ac
cording to tho list lie handed to the
officer of tho day, ho was one, he car
ried himself too much liko a soldier to
fool thoso of us who hud boon in the
outfit a long time.
Old Sergeant Fisher took tho re
cruits out to the parade ground, the
morning after their mrival, to bogiu
to liek them into shape in the awkward
squad. Wilson was among them. Ho
tried to assume the recruit's clumsi
ness, but we could see that the job was
a little too much for him. Ho was too
naturally graceful a man in his carriage
for that, and his shoulders were too
square. At the command of execution
he forgot himself every tirao, and
stepped out with the left foot. A re
cruit never does that. It takes at least
six months to teach a recruit he
is possessed of a left foot. Old Fisher
gave "To tho rear, march!" suddenly,
and it caught Wilson napping. Alone
of the squad, he whirled on tho ball o!
his left foot and took a step rearward,
' while the rest of the squad iguorantly
ploughed on. It was a bad giveaway,
and Wilson's dark, handsome face
flushed. Old Fisher's eyo was sharp,
if ho had been canteen eergcaut for
six years.
"Halt!" he commanded tho squad
of recruits, and in their own time,
one by one, they halted. "Wilson,
fall out." Wilson fell out, and for a
time stood by watchiug old Fisher
drill the rookies in the facings. After
awhi'o the sergeant, having brought
tho squad to a rest, walked over to
Wilson, looked him over for a minute
with a sort of half smile, and said;
"What's the use?"
"None," said Wilson, probably see
ing that the game was up so far as old
Fisher was concerned.
All the same, not to make the offi
cers suspicious, the drill sergeant took
Wilson out with the awkward squad
every day lor a time. It was # a lino
thing to seo Wilson handle his rifle
when the guns were dished out to tho
rookies for the first time. A young
lieutenant,fresh from West Point,hap
pened to drop into the day room, and
110 stopped for a while to watch tho
new men trying to get through the
manual. His eyo naturally drifted to
Wilson, who would have attracted at
tention iu tho middlo rank of a regi
ment, for he certainly was a lino
looking chap. Wilson was trying to
handle his gun as if he had never seen
one before. Wo couldn't help but
grin jackassicully as we stood around,
although we woro careful not to lot
the little West Point Hhavotail seo us
do it, for we all liked Wilson and
didn't want to see hiiu get into any
trouble. Wilson tried so hard to make
it appear that he didn't even know
what a rifle was made for that ho
dropped it while the squad was stand
ing at a rifle parade rest. It mado a
terrific clatter, uud tho littlo lieuten
ant's eyes snapped.
"Gawk I" ho muttered, while Wil
eon, red and nervous, reached out aud
picked up tho gun.
"Attention !" shouted tho drill ser
gcaut. \\ ilson alone of the batch was
like a ramrod before the echoes of tho !
command died away in the day room.
"Right shoulder—hums!" Wilson's
gun came to his shoulder with a snap,
the three movements perfect, while
the other follows of the squad were
sluggishly coming to a port, a present,
a carry, everything but a right shoul
der.
"Fix—bay-o nets!" Wilson's was
fixed with tho rapidity and precision
of an export.
"Well," said tho little lieutenant
under his breath, as lie turned away
with ft kind of puzzled twinklo in his
eye.
Wilson was put to duty the next
day, and caught commanding officer's
orderly tho first time ho went on
guard. All of us who occupied bunks in
tho old-timers' squad room Lad to con
fess that Wilson was as iino a soldier
a3 wo had over seon.
Nouo of us ever asked him what
outfit ho had been in before he camo to
our layout as a recruit. Wilson was a
very quiet man, well eduoatod —wo
used to soo him reading queer-looking
books in foreign languages, as ho lay
on his bunk on rainy afternoons —and
wo didn't caro to bother him with
questions. It was none of our busi
ness, anyhow. A young whelp of a
rookie was watching Wilson daddyaok
his cartridgo bolt one day, and, like
tho pup that he was, ho said so • that
the other fellows in tho room could
hoar him:
"Oho, but hasn't Wilson done that
a lot o' times before, I'd just liko to
know!"
One of us reached over, caught tho
cub by the scruff of tho neck and
dropped him over tho bannisters of
tho doublo-deoker quarters. Wilson
said nothing, although thero was an
odd sort of gloam in his black eyes.
Thcro woro no allusions to his past
after that, you can bet.
Fort Cauby is a beautiful, gloomy
post. It is at the mouth of tho Colum
bia River, under the shadow of tho
mountain that forms the extremity of
Capo Disappointment. Oh, but tho
Pacific batters wildly, wildly at thoso
black rocks. In the quarters wo could
always hear the roar of the sea. Tho
sound used to break some of us up a
little, kind of, at night, after tho
lights went out. I don't know why.
Tho sea is mournful, anyhow, I think.
A hundred salmon fishermen from As
toria and 11 Waco got upset and
drowned on that wicked Columbia bar
while wo were there.
Well, anyhow, Wilson used to spend
nearly ull of tho time that ho wasn't
on duty down by tho sea. 110 had a
big dragon tattooed on his knotty loft
arm, and a barkentiuo in three colors
on his breast. Besides, he know a
great deal about Japan and South
America, as somo of us fouud out
without being inquisitive, and wo
knew that ho had been to sea. When,
how, or iu what capacity, wo had no
idea. But ho was fond of tho sight
of the sea. Only once in a while did
he join in the football gatnu with tho
gang 011 tho parado ground. When
ho did, he always kicked a goal. On
pay days some of us used to go across
tho trail from tho post to 11 Waco,
three miles away—aud thero were n
lot of ugly looking black bears on that
trail, too, 1 can toll you—aud—well,
we'd load up on Jawboues's barbarous
Si wash whisky. Jawbones was tho
half breed Siwash who sold it. Wil
son never went along with us. Ho
didn't drink. We kind o' liked him
for that, too, for, with big heads and
sore stomachs, we wero all swearing
off every pay day—after our mouoy
was spent at Jawboues's.
No, Wilson put iu his off duty timo
tramping through tho pino and spruce
forests along the beach, with a stick iu
his hand, always alone. Ouo day tho
tide rushod in suddenly and caught
him at the foot of tho capo. Ho had
to climb the 000-foot rock, which was
almost perpendidular. I wouldn't
have tried it for a million, even to save
myself from drowning. Ho smiled a
littlo when I told him so. He's boen
aloft on ships, you know.
Well, this is the finish. It has boen
a long timo in coming, but you had to
understand what manner ot man Wil
son was.
One bright day the sentry up at tho
lighthouse yelled down to tho sergeant
of (ho guard that an American man
of-war Was coiuiug over the bar. Can
by is a saluting station, so that men
of-war uro always reported by tho
guard. Wilson was walking number
one post, in front of tho guard houso,
and ho repeated tho lighthouse sen
fry's call to tho sergeant inside. When
the old guard was marched off, re
lieved by tho new one, Wilson went
up to tho lighthouse with one of us to
have a look through the glasas at tho
man-of-war. Ho grew a little pale as
he mado her out through tho coast
guard's binocular, but said nothing.
She was one of the old black ships of
the old navy, and had dropped hor
mud hook off Astoria, ten milos across
the hay. Her steam launch, dancing
on tho rollers way off in the distanoe,
was heading our way as Wilson looked
through the glass. As tho launoh be
gan to como near Wilson went down
to tho little dock nlono. Tho officer
of tho day and throe men of tho guard
wore on tho dock, waiting to receive
tho naval officer in tho launch, who
carried tho compliments of tho com
manding officer of the ship to tho com
manding officer of our post.
Tho launch pulled up alongsido tho
dock, and, as tho guard came to a
present, a fine-looking young naval
officer stepped ashore. Ho was the
living image of Wilson, only younger.
All of the follows of the guard noticed
tho resemblaneo instantly, but they
did not see Wilson, who had hurriedly
left tho dock whoa his counterpart
with tho sword and tho silver anchors
on his blouse collar stepped from the
launch.
The young naval officer and tho offi
cer of tho day got into an ambulance
and were driven to the commanding
officer's quartors. Mens call wont in a
few minutes, and wo wore all marched
into dinner. The mess hall was on
the floor below the sleeping quarters.
Wo had scarcely sat down and bo
gun to bully the kitchen police before
wo heard a loud shot from tbo floor
! above. Wo made a rush for the stairs
jto find out what the matter was. As
1 we scrambled up tho ambulance carry
ing the young naval officer, returning
to the launch from his mission, drew
up out iu front of tho quarters. The
j sea ollicor hud heard tho Hhot, and was
hopping out of the ambulance to in-
I vesti'/ate.
Wo found Wilson sitting on tli'i
edge of his bunk, in bis shirt sleeves,
His shirt was soaked with blood, and
thoro was n big holo in his right
breast. His ride lay'on the floor be
side the bunk. He had taken off his
right shoe and pulled the trigger with
his great toe. He was very white in
the face, but smiling.
"Well," he said in a low voice, as
wo stooped over to oxamino him,
"you fellows can sit around the stove
and havo somothing to talk abdut on
rainy aftornoons now. But it's ali
right—all right—"
Just then the young naval officer
pushed through the crowd of us
around the bunk. When he caught
sight of his brother's faco he rcolod,
and one of us had to catch him to pre
vent him from falling.
"Jaok! Oh, my God I" was all the
young follow with the Bilver anchor
could say. It was easy for us fellows
standing around to see how his hoart
was nching under his blouse.
"It's all right, Ed,, all right—" Wo
all snenkod away then. Well, no, I
ean't say that any of us felt very hil
arious just then for a fact.
The little lieutenant of our battery
went in. In a few minutos ho carno
out, just almost carrying the young
naval offioer, a man about twice as
big as ho was.
\Vo all volunteered for tho firing
party, and the four young wind-push
ers who trumpeted for the batteries
quarreled over which of them should
blow "taps" over the gravo. We'd all
spent many an afternoon cleaning our
guns after flring volleys who had
passed from our outfit over the divido,
but that certainly was the—well, the
breakingest-up funoral that Canby
ever saw. Wilson's brother was there,
in full dross. But the naino that was
printed by tho post painter on
Wilson's hoadstono was not Wil
son. It was the same name as
that of the young naval officer. The
cemetery at Canby is only a couplo of
hundred feet from tho roaring sea. In
a few weeks two ladies, ono quite old
and white haired, tho other young,
pretty, but sad looking, came to Can
by in mourning. They had "Wilson's"
body sent somowhero back to the
States.
It was a long timo before we got at
the inside of thd story. Then wo
found out that "Wilson" had gotten
his commission at West Point and had
reigned a year after his graduation
on account of some difficulty. Ho had
shipped in the navy as a bluejacket.
After his first cruise ho had been
drafted to a ship on whioh his broth
er, who had moanwhile gradnated
with distinction at Annapolis, was
serving as u watch and division offioer.
Tho humiliation of it had been too
much for him, and "Wilson" had
promptly deserted. Then we got him.
Ho had probably been meditating
suicide for a long timo, and tho final
sight of his brother's faoe in suoh an
off-the earth place as Fort Canby
wrought upon him as tho working of
n fate -that seemed to bo crushing.
Thus the ritlo ball. Wo did not talk of
him around tho stovo at all. But his
gun was taken out of the rifle raolc and
stewed away out of sight. Washing
ton Star.
Sweeping Willi Air,
Ono of the greatest aids to the mod
ern housekeeper is tho pneumatio
sweeper. This surprising now inven
tion, which nobody seems to claim ths
honor of having discovered, and which
is, thureforo, open to all manufactur
ers, rolegntes tho broom to tho garrot
and takes the place of the mechanical
carpet sweeper, whioh a few yoars ago
was thought to bo perfection.
All that is nooossary to fit the pneu
matic sweeper to any hotel or private
house is a pipe connection for com
pressed ail. When pneumatic sweop
ers havo completely won their way
pneumatio tubes may be carried into
every house from a main in tho street,
as is now done with gas and water.
With suoh a connection tho whole
house could bo oleanod from oellar to
garret in a few hours and the labor of
several servants could be dispensed
with. The pnoumatio sweeper can bo
applied to dusting tho furniture.
The new sweeper consists simply of
a long nozzlo attached to tho end of a
rubber hose. The nozzlo is about the
same size as a broom haudle.
One end of this pipe is inserted
into tho rubber house, and the other
carries a brass arrangement about a
foot iu width across the face. Hare
thore is a narrow slit running from
side to side, and not more than 1-32
of an inch in width.
Through this narrow aporturo tho
compressed air is forced at tho rato of
seventy-five cubio feet a minute. Tho
household using tho pneumatic sweep
oo passes it back and forth over tho
siirfaco of tjjo carpet.—New York
Herald.
A Thought-Weighing Machine,
The cerobrum is tho organ of the
will and it is known that in tho exer
cise of its function thero is an increased
supply of blood to that part. Profes
sor Mosso, an ltaliau physiologist, has
invented a thought-weighing machine,
consisting of delicate balances so con
trived that they weigh tho varying
amount of blood in tho brain. Tho
activity of tho brain is in direot pro
portion to the amount of blood there
in. According to a local newspaper
report, tho machine is so delicatoly
constructed that it readily detects tho
difference iu tho exertion roqnired to
read Greek above that necessary to
read Latin. Every youngster is ready
to boliovo in the maohine.—Medical
He cord.
The Czar's Morses and Carriages.
Tho Czar of Russia has four sepa
rate "services" of horses and oarriuges;
namely, tho Russian, French, English
aud gala sets. Each set comprises at
least fifty horses. The Russian set
acoompanies tho Emperor wborover he
goes, and at Gatchina it is used, to
gether with tho English set.
CHILDREN'S CORNER.
GOOD READING FOR BOYS AND
GIRLS.
Tho SIIIIoHt Question —A Diamond In the
Hough—Curiosities At t a.died to IS um
ber Kino—Hear Stops a Schoolina'm —
31 uitihie-the-Teg, a New iiuinc.
DEAR little girl
I with eyes of blue,
Lm And yellow curls
11 and a dimple, too;
/ And we loved to
tease her, as some
folks do.
And ask her the sil
r- liest questions.
"Oh what is Poppy,
say, little Ann?"
"Poppy? Poppy? Why, Poppy's a man,"
She smiled at us brightly as onward
we ran
With the silliest, silliest questions.
"And what is Sissy?" The blue eyes
gleam.
"Sissy's a gu-url," she says with a
scream
Of laughter as light as a rippling
stream,
At this silliest, silliest question.
"And Botty? Botty is surely a toy
Of golden metal with no alloy?"
"Botty? Botty? Why, Botty's a boy."
The silliest, silliest question.
"Then, what is Mommy?" The blue
eyes shed
A faint love glance, low dropped the
head,
"Why, Mommy Is Mommy." little Ann
said
To this silliest, silliest question.
Oh, dear little girl with eyes of blue,
And yellow curls and a dimple, too,
Yes, Mommy is Mommy the whole
world through;
So good-bye to the silliest questions.
—Philadelphia American.
A Hough Diamond.
Walking clown the street we saw two
very ragged boys with bare toes, red
and shining, and tattered clothes upon
which the soil of long wear lay thick
aud dingy. They were "few and far
between"—only jacket and trousers —
and these solitary garments were very
unneighborly, and objected to a union,
however strongly the autumn wind
hinted at the comfort of such an ar
rangement. One of the boys was per
fectly jubilant over a half-withered
bunch of flowers some person had cast
away. "I say, Billy, warn't somebody
real good to drop these 'ere posies jest
where I could find 'em, and these so
pooty and nice? Look sharp, Billy,
and may be you'll find some blmeby—
O, jolly! Billy, if dere ain't most half
a peach, and tain't much dirty neither.
'Cause you ain't got no peach, you may
bite first. Bite bigger, Billy, may be
we'll find another 'fore long."
That boy was not cold, nor poor, and
never will be; bis heart will keep him
warm, and if men and women forsake
him the very angels will feed him and
fold their wings about him. "Bite
bigger, Billy, may be we'll find another
'fore long." What a hopeful little soul!
If he finds his unselfishness illy repaid,
he will not turn misanthrope, for God
made him to be a man, one to bear his
own burdens uncomplainingly, and help
his fellows besides.
CurloaitleH Attached to Number Nine.
It Is by nines that eastern presents
are given when made on a scale of
great magnificence. "To the nines,"
expresses a state of perfection, as
"dressed up to the nines." Chaucer,
Hey wood and Shakespeare speak of a
nine-days' wonder; a cat has nine lives;
a tailor is the ninth part of a man;
Shakespeare makes Hotspur cavil on
the ninth part of a hair; it was a num
ber of magical power dear to witches,
as we read in Macbeth; Shakespeare
again has the "Nine Sibyls of old
Rome;" we have the games of nine
men's morris and nine-pins; the butcher
bird is called the nine-killer, from its
habit of Impaling nine of the animals
on which it feeds before it begins its
meal; the nine of Diamonds is called
the curse of Scotland; there were nine
muses; nine planets; nine order of an
gels—angels, archangels, virtues, pow
ers, principalities, dominions, thrones,
cherubim, 6eraphim; the Etruscans had (
nine god 3 who alone had the power of
hurling thunderbolts; the Novensiles
were the nine Sabine gods; the Noven
dial ashes were the ashes of the dead
buried on the ninth day; the nine wor
thies were Hector, Alexander, Julius
Caesar, Joshua, David, Judas Maccab
aeus, Arthur, Charlemagne, and God
frey of Bouillon; there were, too, nine
worthies of London, whose chronicles
were written by 11. Johnson in the six
teenth century. Every ninth wave, as
Tennyson sings, is said to be the larg
est; and last, not least, possession is
nine points of the law. Pythagoris
made three tho perfect number; nine
was consecrated by Buddhism, and Is
revered by the Moguls and Chinese.
Tho peculiar property of number nine
from a mathematical point of view is,
that when it is multiplied by another
number the digits composing the pro
duct, when added together, give nine.
Hour Stop* Schoolma'iiin.
Rome days ago Lucre! ia Ritter, teach
er of a school in the Elk Lake district,
Sullivan county, had a thrilling experi
ence with a black bear, snys the New
York Press. Her school is in a sparsely
settled part el' the county, and tho road
from her boarding place runs through
a mile of dense woods. When walking
along through the woods she saw what
sho thought was a yearling calf in the
path. She shook her lunch basket at
the beast to seo it scamper. It didn't
scamper. She found that it was not a
calf but a fnli-crrown black bear. The
bear t! .. ler, with moutb
open. Miss Rltter ran to a crooked
tree and managed to climb to a fork In
the tree, twelve feet above the ground.
The bear stopped to eat the contents of
her lunch basket, while she screamed
lustily for help. In her efforts to get
higher Miss Rltter's clothing became
fast in a broken limb. The bear made
no effort to climb the tree, but kept the
school teacher in the tree nearly three
hours, when a farmer, Mr. Shurk, came
along. The bear fled and the farmer
climbed up into the tree and helped
her down. Once on the ground Miss
Ritter fainted and Mr. Shurk carried
her to the nearest farmhouse, a mile
away.
firnnt's Guino of Mumblo-the-Pog.
"A favorite game with the boys of
John D. White's subscription school,
at Georgetown, was mumble-the-peg.
Grant couldn't play the game very skill
fully, and the peg always got a few
clandestine licks every time he was to
pull it," says McClure's Magazine. "On
one occasion it was driven in so deep
that the boys thought Lys could never
get it out. He set to work with his
forehead down in the dirt, the sun beat
ing hot upon him, and the crowd of
boys and girls shutting out every
breath of fresh air. The peg would not
move. The red-faced, shock-headed,
thickset boy, with his face now all over
mud, had forgotten his comrades, and
saw only one thing in the world —that
was this stubborn peg. The bell rang,
but the boy did not hear it. A minute
later, after a final effort he staggered to
his feet with the peg in his mouth. The
old schoolmaster was in the door of the
schoolhouse, with his long beech switch
—the only person to be seen. There
was glee inside at this new develop
ment —here was fun the boys had not
counted, on. Imagine their surprise
when, as the boy came closer, and the
stern old schoolmaster saw his face, he
set down the switch inside the door
and came outside. One boy slipped to
the window and reported to the rest.
The old man was pouring water on
Lys Grant's hands and having him
wash his face. He gave him his red
bandanna to wipe it dry. What the
school saw a minute later was the
schoolmaster coming in, patting this
very red and embarrassed boy on the
head."
"Ilorgea with Wheels."
"It was in the early days of railroad
ing in the south," remarked the gentle
man with the stock of reminiscences
the other day. "I was located in Flor
ida about the time when the govern
ment had made vassals of the Seminole
Indians of that state, and in order to
impress the redoubtable 'Billy Bowlegs,'
the Tecumseh of the Seminoles, It had
invited that 'h'eap big chieftain' to
make a trip to the seat of the national
government. Billy was a bit dubious
ibout accepting the invitation, fearing
possibly that the Great Father atWash
ington might have designs upon his life
>r happiness, but he was prevailed upon
lo make the trip and he embarked on
board of the train with a great show
of courage. The trains of that period
were not the flyers of to-day; In fact,
on many of the short lines engineers
were compelled to get out of their cabs
and walk to lighten the train and per
mit it to proceed at an even rate of
speed. When Billy Bowlegs returned
from his visit he had overcome his
trepidation and looked with scorn up
on the locomotive. I visited Billy a
day or two after his return and asked
him how he liked traveling on the iron
horse.
"Huh," he said, with an upward
Lwist of his prominent proboscis, 'horse
wid wheels no good. Big heap no good.
Me on horse better than two; run 'way
all time. White man heap smart; In
iun heap better. Huh!' " —New Orleans
Times-Democrat.
Another I'uluce of Hsy.
Toronto, Ont., will have to step back
with its palace of hay. One of our
boys who lives in Soilitt. 111., read the
paragraph published last week about
Toronto's scheme for such a building
at the coming exposition, and he sat
right down and wrote that the plan
wasn't new at all. Here's part of his
letter:
"About five years ago such a palace
was built, and stood as erected for two
years within fifty miles of Chicago, at
the town of Momence, where it was vis
ited by largo crowds daily, the baled
hay being taken from the Kankakee
swamps. It was handsomely decorated
with grains and ornamental grasses of
all kinds.—John S. Elliott."
Hurrah for Momence —our boys and
girls will stand up for her and her pnl
aco of hay.
The Star Babies.
Over the trees and the blossoms,
Over the fresh green lawn,
The diamond sparkle of dewdrops
Greeted the sunny dawn.
The baby looked from the window
With bright and wondering eyes,
And then he sought for an answer
In the mysteries of the skies.
"Why, mamma," he softly whispered.
Seeing dewdrops far and near,
"See the stars' little babies;
They have come to visit us here."
—Marion Guthrie, in the Child Garden.
Starving Out KUncntion.
In the province of Guadalajara there
are something over 250 schoolmasters
whose individual salaries do not reach
500 pesetas per annum. The school of
Canamares receives an annual grant
of 46 pesetas (SB, roughly). In spite
of this scale of payment, the depart
ment of education owes the schools
and teachers of this single province
193,000 pesetas. And the schoolmast
ers of Velez-Malaga, literally at the
point of starvation, have addressed a
piteous circular, imploring aid, to the
sovereigns and heads of other states,
including the president of the French
irepubllc/—North American Review.
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
BTORIEB THAT ARB TOLD BY THB
BUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.
Not Particular—A Cutting Remark—
Making Preparations —No Plaoe
for Her—A Tabooed Toplo, Kto.
The men who always light upon
Thefr feet, no matter whut they do,
Are men who ore not worried If
They light on someone else's too.
—Truth.
A CUTTING HI'MAIIK.
"I hear they've laid off a number of
hands down at the sawmill?"
"Yes; so the Burgeon was tolling
me."—Detroit News.
NO PLAOE FOB HEIL
"I'll wager that woman submarine
diver doesn't stay under the water
more than ten minutes at a time."
"Why?"
"Nobody down there to talk to."—
Ohioago Record.
HOW IT HAPPENS.
Poots (meditatively)—" After' all,
there are oe good fish in tho sea as were
ever caught."
Grimshaw—"Yes, and very muoh
better. The biggest ones always get
away, you know." —Judge.
MAKING PREPARATIONS.
Emma—"And, Charlie, dear, would
you have really shot yourself if 1 had
refusod you?"
"Indeed I would I I had already
sent to four houses for prioo lists of
•evolvers."—Fliegendo Blaetter.
A TABOOED TOPIC.
She—"Would you love mo just tho
same, dearest, if I wore poor instead
of worth a million?"
He—"l have registered a solomu
vow never to discuss tho fiuanoial
qneetion again."—Dotroit Froe Press.
THE MODERN HEBO.
Maud—"Who is that deformed young
fellow talking to May Smiley ?"
Ethel—"Why, that's Mr, Dawkins,
the famous fullback. Ho hod his
shoulder twisted in the last big matoh."
Maud—"What a lovely deformity!
[ntroduoe me, dear."—Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
A NEW BREED.
"That's a nioe looking dog," re
marked the kindly old geutleman,who
takes an interest in everything.
"Yes, suh. He looks all right," re
plied the oolored man who was lead
ing him with a pieoe of rope.
"He looks like a pointer."
"Yes, Bah. Da's what ho look like.
Bat dat aiu' what he is. He's a dis
ippointor."—Washington Star.
THE WRONG TRAIN,
First Train Bobber (out West) —
"Hullo, Bill, how'd yer git along wid
that job ter-day I";
Sooond Train Bobber (sadly)
'■Didn't git along noway. Got tho
wrong train."
"Eh? Didn't yer git the express?"
"Naw ; we made a mistake an' struck
n exoursion of real estate agents, an'
they took every oent wo had."—New
York Weekly.
STUCK.
"Tho fomale sex," said Monsiotu
Oalino, lately, "is the most illogioal
in the world."
"What new proof have you of the
want of devotion of women to the
eanons of logic?" he was asked.
"Why, tako my wife," answered
Oalino. "I ha l all the trouble in the
world to got her to enter her thirties,
and now, a dozon yearf lntor, I can't
get hor out of them."—The Wove.
FORGOT HE WAS IN IT.
The palm for absent mindednoss is
probably taken by n learned German,
wbom a Berlin oornio paper calls Pro
fessor Dusel, of Bonn. One day the
Professor noticed his wifo placing a
large bouquet on his desk. "What
does that moan?" he asked.
"Why 1" she exolaimed, "don't you
know that this is tho anniversary of
your marriage?"
"Ah, indood, is it?" soid the Pro
fessor, politely. "Kindly let mo know
when yours oomes around, and I will
reoiprooato tho favor." —Pittsburg
Bulletin.
AN EXPLANATION.
Benevolent Gentleman (indignantly)
"You're a fraud. Yon told mo tho
othor day you wouldn't bo begging
but for your wifo and two ohildron,
and I loam from tho police that your
wifo has beon dead a long time, and
that your two children nro grown up
and in good circumstances."
Beggar—"lndoed, I told you noth
ing but tho truth, sir. I wouldn't bo
begging, as I snid, but for my wife
and two children. My wifo sup
ported mo till she died, aud my two
children might support inc. but they
won't. I wouldn't want to bo begging
with a lie on my tongue."—Truth.
A SKELETON EXPOSED.
The new woman orator waxed elo
quent.
"And what," she demanded, as she
came to tho olimax, "is to be the re
sult of our emancipation?"
She looked around with the oalm
assurance of one who bad asked a
posor, and this was too much for the
little man who was waiting for his wifo
in a far corner of tho hall.
"I know," he shoutod.
"Ah," returned the now woman on
tho platform, scornfully, "tho little
man with tho bald head thinks he has
solved tho problem that we came here
to discuss this afternoon. We will
gladly give our nttention whilo he
tells us what is to be tho result."
"Cold dinners and ragged children,"
roared the little man.—ChioagoJ'ost.