Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, February 08, 1897, Image 2

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    Newspapers are suppressed in Japan
not merely for politioal reasons, but
for publishing Bcandalons articles
on the private life and family affairs
of individuals.
A Boston jury reeeutly decided that
"Yankeo Doodle" was not a fit tune
for a Suuday concert, and now objec
tion is being made by tho Now Eng
land Sabbath Froteotion League to a
Sunday performance of Rossini's ora
torio, ' 'Moses in Egypt."
The salt industry of Utah is grow
ing rapidly. Five years ago not over
q twenty carloads of refined, or, as
commonly called, commeroial salt,
were sold annually to outside points
by Utah men, says the San Franoisco
Examiner. Now the business is about
1500 cars of refined salt annually.
The Hartford (Conn.) Oourant tells
a story of Yale in the old days. Tho
boys-used to bribe tho printers'
"devils" to got proofs of tho examina
tion papers for them. When the col
lego authorities put a stop to this
praetioo a bright ideaseizod one fellow
and ho saved the whole suffering party.
He hired one of the printers (it wao
summor) to wear a pair of white
trousers to the oflioe, and at noon to
sit down on tho "form" in whioh wore
looked the preoiotis questions. The
inky seat of that pair of trousers sold
for a deal more than the olotbes wore
worth in their original spotlessness,
and relief was assured,
Cambridge, Mass., is indignant,
justly it would seem to Harper's
Weekly, because tho Postoffloe De
partment declines to recognize its ex
istence officially except as "Station F,
Boston." The oity ordered the other
day of the Government some thou
sands of stifmped envelopes on whioh
was to be printed the notice to return,
if not delivered to City Hall, Cam
bridge, Massachusetts. Word oame
back that the printing would not be
done as ordered, but the letters would
bo made returnable to Station F, Bos
ton. Of coarse Cambridge was indig
nant. It got its envelopes and had
them printed privately to its own taste,
and now its Citizens' Trade Associa
tion is on the war path, and its Con
gressman has been notified to make
trouble. Harvard University, as looa
ted by the Postolfioe printer, is at
"Station F, Boston."
It is trno the settlement of tho West
and Northwest has been largely by
immigrants from foreign countries,
but these immigrants have been of the
beat kind. The olass of immigrants
who find it to their taste to drift into
the slums of the large oities have never
oome west of Chioago in large num
bers, says the Sionx Oity (Iowa) Jour
nal. The Germans, French, Dutoh,
English, Scotch, Scandinavians and
Irish, who have gone upon farms of
the West to make homes for them
selves, or have built up the small
towns and flourishing young oitios of
the West, have been intelligent and
well educated, and they have come to
the United States with fixed purposes
and sensible plans. The faot that the
undesirable immigrants are filling np
tho oities of the East and driving
Americans westward is sufficient oause
for alarm—in the Eaßt. It is this faot
that gives to the movement for greater
restrictions on immigration so much
force. It is not desirable that we
should receive fewer immigrants, but
tt is desirable that those immigrants
should be of a better class.
The reasons for the interest with
which the plans for a Pacific cable are
watched in England nre not altogether
political or strategical, says tho Now
York Post. The possible diversion of
cable traffic from an old submarine
system to a now is indicated in some
liguies given in London at the last
meeting of tho "Eastern Extension"
Company, one of the greatest of tho
enterprises to which Sir John Pender
gave his thought. Tho gross rovenue
is about $-1,000,000 a year ; the work
ing expenses run only about 8300,000
a year. Discussing the prospects of a
Pacific cable competition, tho Marquis
of Tweedale said that the IOSB of the
Eastern Exlention business might
rango from 8800,000 to 81,250,000 a
iear. lie hardly expected such ad
verso conditions, however, nnd mean
time the new rival eablos had not been
laid. As to the possibilities of on
augmented cable traffic at the anti
podes and with China and Japan, it
nppi arcd thnt an increase of 8250,000
in tho last half-year had sprung nlmost
entirely from tho activity in "Wcs
tralian" gold mining. As regards the
stability of the English snbmarino
cable enterprises, it may be noted
that the Eastern Extention property
is valued af a premium of 810,000,000
on its capital value, and the allied
Eastern Telegraphs at about 820,000,-
000 more over the capital value.
WHEN THE WINTER SUN IS LOW
Whon tho winter sun Is low
And the wind through waving trees,
Flinging frost doth hurrying go.
Moaning liko tho moaning sea;
Through the flolds bereft of ohoer
Sad I walk and dream of thee—
All wore swoot if thou wert hero;
Love, why com'st thou not to me?
Whon tho winter moon is high,
And tho blast noroßs tho wold
Blowetk from tho northern sky
Where tho stars are glistening oold,
O'er tho sighing fells alone
Sad I walk and dream of thoo—
Borrow never maketh moan,
O, my love, whon thou'rt with ma.
When the stars wax faint and white,
And gray dawn begins to shake
Through tho skios hor dappled light,
From my restless oouoh I wake;
Then ray soul flies out to thee,
Swift to thee, her own sweot choice! *•
Ah! why oom'st thou not to me,
With tho healing of thy voice?
Through tho flolds I walk in woe,
For thy smllo Is faraway;
And the tears In seorot flow,
Sorrow's rain, from day to day.
Oh, my sweetheart, oh my own.
Why should space or pi oo divido
Hearts that God hath made as oue?
Thoo I olalm, my hoaveu sent bride!
—D. J. Douahoo, in Donahue's Magazine.
AN ARMY POST STORY.
BY CLARENCE L, CCLLEN,
Q ©rILSON joined tho
A (■, \ A r battery t Fort
VV Canby a little
iu while before the
Territory of Wash
fington beoome a
A Btate. He had
I*l%} t enlisted at Honttle
Ss\ Bs a recruit, and
therefore
"iS®* v classed as a
"prairio chicken," as soldiers then
wore who "took on" anywhere west
of the Mississippi. We all had a good
many reasons for believing, howover,
that Wilson was not quito so much of a
reorult as his Seattle enlistment reoord
showed on its face. None of us could
remember having soldiered with him
nnywhere, and his faco was unfamiliar
to all. Nevertheless, from the day he
arrived at Uanby in charge of tho Se
attle batch of recruits, of which, ac
cording to the list he handed to the
ofiioer of the day, he was one, he car
ried himself too much like a soldier to
fool those of us who had been in the
outfit a long time.
Old Sergeant Fisher took tho re
cruits out to the parade ground, the
morning after their ill rival, to begin
to liok them into shape in tho awkward
squad. Wilson was among them. He
tried to assume tho roeruit's clumsi
ness, but we could seo that the job was
a little too muoh for him. He was too
naturally graoeful aiuan in his carriage
for that, and his shoulders were too
square. At the eommaud of elocution
he forgot himself every time, and
stopped out with the loft foot. A ro
oruit nover does that. It takes at least
six mouths to teach a rooruit that ho
is possessed of a left foot. Old Fisher
gave "To tho rear, march!" auddenly,
and it caught Wilson napping. Alono
of the squad, lie whirled on tho ball of
his left foot and took a step rearward,
while the rest of tho squad ignorantly
ploughed on. It was a bud giveaway,
and Wilson's dark, handsome face
flushed. Old Fisher's eye was sharp,
if he had been canteen sergeant for
six years.
"Haiti" he commanded the squad
of recruits, and iu their own time,
ono by one, ihey halted. "Wilson,
fall out." Wilson fell out, and for a
timo stood by watchiDg old Fisher
drill tho rookies iu tho faoiugs. After
awhi'o tho sergeant, having brought
the squad to a rest, walked over to
Wilson, looked him over for a ininnte
with a sort of half Btnile, and said:
"What's the usef"
"None," said Wilson, probably see
ing that the game was up so far as old
Fisher was concerned.
All tlio same, not to make the offi
cers suspicious, the drill sergeant took
Wilson out with the awkward squad
every day for a time. It was a fine
thing to seo Wilson handle his rifle
when the guns wero dished out to tho
rookies for tho first timo. A young
lieutenant,fresh from West Point,hap
pened to drop into tho day room, and
ho stopped for a while to watch tho
new men trying to get through the
manual. His eye naturally drifted to
Wilson, who would havo attraotod at
tention in tho middle rank of a regi
ment, for he certainly was a fino
looking chap. Wilson was trying to
handle his gun as if he had never seen
ono before. Wo couldn't holp but
grin jaokassioally as we stood around,
although wo were careful not to lot
the little Wost Point shavotail see us
do it, for we all liked Wilson and
didn't want to see lnui get into any
trouble. Wilson tried so hard to make
it appear that lie didn't even know
what a riflo was raailo for tliat he
dropped it while the squad was stand
ing at a rifle parade rest. It made a
tcrriflo clatter, and the little lieuten
ant's oyes snapped.
"Gawk 1" he muttered, while Wil
son, red and nervous, roaohed out and
picked up the gun.
"Attention 1" shouted tho drill ser
goaut. Wilson alono of the batch was
like a ramrod before the echoes of the
command died away in the day room.
"Right shoulder—hums I" Wilson's
gun came to his shoulder with a snap,
the three movements perfeot, while
the other fellows of the squad were
sluggishly coming to a port, a present,
a carry, everything but a right shoul
dor.
"Fix—bay-o-nets!" Wilson's was
fixed with the rapidity and precision
of an expert.
"Well," said tho littlo lieutenant
under his breath, as he turned away
with a kind of puzzled twinklo in his
eye.
Wilson was put to duty the noxt
day, and oaught commanding officer's
orderly tho first time ho went on
guard. All of us who occupied bunks in
tho old-timers' squad room Lad to con
fess that Wilson was as iino a soldier
a3 wo had ever seen.
None of us over asked him what
outfit ho had been in before ho came to
our layout as a recruit. Wilson was a
very quiet man, well educatod —we
used to see him reading queer-looking
books in foreign languages, as he lay
on his bunk on rainy afternoons—and
wo didn't care to bother him with
questions. It was none of our busi
ness, anyhow. A young whelp of a
rookie was watching Wilson daddyack
his oartridgo belt ono day, and, like
tho pup that ho was, he said so that
the other fellows in tho room could
hear him:
"Oho, but hasn't Wilson dono that
a lot o' times before, I'd just like to
know!"
One of us reaohod over, caught the
cub by tho scruff of the neok and
dropped him over the bannisters of
tho double-decker quarters. Wilson
said nothing, although there was an
odd sort of gloum in his black eyes.
There were no allusions to his past
after that, you can bet.
Fort Canby is a beautiful, gloomy
post. It is at the mouth of tho Colum
bia River, under the shadow of tho
mountain that forms the extremity of
Capo Disappointment. Oh, but the
Pacific batters wildly, wildly at those
black rocks. In tho quarters wo could
always hear the roar of the sea. The
sound used to break some of us up a
little, kind of, at night, after the
lights went out. I don't kuow why.
The sea is mournful, uuyhow, I think.
A hundred salmon fishermen from As
toria and 11 Waco got upset and
drowned on that wicked Columbia bar
while we were there.
Well, anyhow, Wilson used{p spend
nearly all of the time that he wasn't
on duty down by tho sea. He had a
big dragon tattooed on his knotty left
arm, ami a barkentiue in three oolors
on his breast. Besides, he knew a
great deal about Jupan and South
Amorioa, as some of us found out
without being inquisitive, and we
knew that ho had been to sea. When,
how, or in what oapaoity, wo had no
idea. But he was fond of the sight
of the sea. Only once in a while did
he join in the football gamu with tho
gang on the parade ground. When
ho (lid, he always kicked a goal. On
pay days some of us used to go across
the trail from tho post to 11 Waco,
three miles away—and there wore n
lot of ugly looking blaek bears on that
trail, too, 1 can tell you—and—well,
we'd load up on Jawboues's barbarous
Siwash whisky. Jawbones was the
half breed Siwash who sold it. Wil
son never wont along with us. He
didn't drink. We kind o' liked him
for that, too, for, with big heads and
sore stomachs, we wero all swearing
off every pay day—after our money
was spent at Jawbones's.
No, Wilßon put in his off duty time
tramping through tho pine and spruce
forests along the beach, with a stick in
his baud, always alone. Ono day the
tide rushed in suddenly and caught
him ut the foot of tho oupo. Ho had
to climb tho 600-foot rook, whioh was
almost perpendidular. I wouldn't
havo tried it for a million, even to save
myself from drowning. He smiled a
little when I told him so. He's been
aloft on ships, you kuow.
Well, this is the finish. It has been
a long time in cquiing, but you had to
understand what manner of man Wil
son was.
Ono bright day tho sontry up at tho
lighthouse yelled down to the sergeant
of the guard that an American man
of-war was coming ovor tho bar. Can
by is a saluting station, so that mon
of-war are nlways reported by the
guard. Wilson was walking number
one post, in front of tho guard house,
and he repeated the lighthouse son
try's call to the sergeant inside. When
the old guard was marched off, re
lieved by tho new one, Wilson wont
up to the lighthouse with one of us to
have a look through the glasss at tho
man-of-war. Ho grew a little pale as
ho made her out through the coast
guard's binooular, but said nothing.
Bhe was ono of tho old black ships of
the old navy, and had dropped hor
mud hook off Astoria, ten miles across
the bay. Her steam launch, dancing
on tho rollers way off in tho distanoe,
was hendiug onr way as Wilson looked
through tho glass. As tho launoh be
gan to oomo near Wilson went down
to the littlo dock alone. Tho offioer
of the day and threo men of tho guard
were on tho dock, waiting to receivo
tho naval officer in tho launch, who
carried the compliments of the com
manding officer of tho ship to tho com
manding officer of our post.
The launoh pulled up alongside tho
dock, and, as tho guard came to a
present, a fine-looking young naval
officer stoi>pod ashore. Ho was tho
living image of Wilson, only younger.
All of tho follows of tho guurd noticed
tho resemblance instantly, but thoy
did not seo Wilson, who had hurriedly
left the dook when his counterpart
with the sword and the silver anchors
on his blouse oollar stopped from tho
launch.
The young naval officer and the offi
cer of the day got into an ambulance
and were driven to the commanding
officer's quarters. Mess call went in a
few minutes, and wo were all marched
iuto dinner. The mess hall was on
the floor below the sleeping quarters.
Wo had scarcely sat down and be
gun to bully the kitchen police before
we heard a loud shot from the floor
above. Wo made a rush for the stairs
to And out what tho matter was. As
we scrambled up the umbulanco carry
ing the young naval officer, returning
to the launch from his mission, drew
up out in front of tho quarters. The
sea officer had heard the shot, and was
hopping out of the ambulance to in
vestigate. . -
Wo found Wilson sitting on thu
edgo of his bunk, in his shirt sleeves,
His shirt was soaked with blood, and
thoro was a big hole in his right
breast. His rifle lay'on the floor bo
side the bunk. He had taken off his
right Bhoe and pulled the trigger with
his great toe. He was very white in
tho fnoe, but smiling.
"Well," he said in a low voloo, as
we stooped over to examine him,
"you fellows oan sit around tho stove
and have something to talk about on
rainy afternoons now. But it's all
right—all right—"
Just then the young naval oflloer
pushed through the orowd of us
around the bunk. When ho oaught
sight of his brother's faoo he reeled,
and one of us had to catoli him to pre
vent him from falling.
"Jaokl Oh, my God!" was all the
young follow with the silver anchor
oould say. It was easy for u follows
standing aronnd to see bow his heart
was aching under his blouse.
"It's all right, Ed,, all right—" We
all sneaked away then. Well, no, I
can't say that any of us felt very hil
arious just then for a faot.
Tho little lieutenant of our battery
went in. In a few minutes he oame
out, just almost carrying the young
naval otlioer, a man about twioe as
big as ho was.
We all volunteered for the firing
party, and the four young wind-push
ers who trumpeted for the batteries
quarreled over whioh of them should
blow "tape" over the grave. We'd all
spent many an afternoon oleaning our
guns aftor firing volleys who had
passed from our outfit over the divide,
but that certainly was the—well, the
brenkingest-up funeral that Oanby
over Baw. Wilson's brother was there,
in full dross. But the name that was
printed by tho post paintor on
Wilson'B Loadstone was not Wil
son. It was the same came as
that of tho young naval officer. The
cemetery at Canby is only a oouplo of
hundred feet from tho roaring sea. In
a low weeks two ladies, one quite old
and whito haired, the other young,
pretty, but sad looking, oame to Can
by in mourning. They had "Wilson's"
body sent somewhere baok to the
States.
It wan u long time before we got at
the inside of the story. Then we
found out that "Wilson" had gotten
his commission at Wost Point and had
resigned a year after his graduation
on aooount of some diffloulty. Ho had
shipped in the navy as a bluejaoket.
After his first cruise ho had been
drafted to a ship on whioh his broth
er, who had meanwhile graduated
with distinction at Annapolis, was
sorving as a watoh and division ofiloer.
The humiliation of it had been too
inuoh for him, and "Wilson" had
promptly doserted. Then wo got him.
He had probably been meditating
suioide for a long time, and tho iinal
sight of his brother's face in suoli an
oft'-the earth plaoe as Port Oanby
wrought upon him as the working of
a fate that soemed to be crushing.
Thus tho riflo balL Wo did not talk of
him around the stove at all. But his
gun was taken out of the rifle rook and
stewed away out of sight.—Washing
ton Htar.
Sweeping Willi Air.
One of the greatest aids to the mod
ern housekeeper is the pneumatic
sweeper. This surprising new inven
tion, whiob nobody soems to olaim ths
honor of having discovered, and whioh
is, therofore, open to all manufactur
ers, relegates the broom to the garret
and takes the plaoe of the meohaniaal
carpet sweeper, whioh a few years ago
was thought to be perfection.
All that is neoessary to fit the pneu
mntio sweeper to any hotel or privato
house is a pipe connection for com
pressed aii. When pneumatic sweep
ers have completely won their way
pneumatic tubes may bo carried into
every house from a main in the street,
as is now done with gas and water.
With suoh a conneotion tho wholo
house oould be cleaned from oellar to
gurrot in a few hours and the labor of
several servants could be dispensed
with. The pnoumatie sweeper can be
applied to dusting tho furniture.
The new sweeper consists simply of
a long nozzle attaohed to the end of a
rubber hose. The nozzle is about the
same size ns a broom handle.
Ono end of this pipe is inserted
into tho rubber house, and tho other
oarries a brass arrangement about a
foot in width aoross the face. Hare
thoro is a narrow slit running from
side to side, and not more than 1-82
of an inch in width.
Through this narrow apertnro tho
compressod air iB foroed at the rate of
seventy-five oubio feet a minute. Tho
household using tho pneumatic sweep
co passos it baok and forth over tho
surface of the oarpet.—New York
Herald.
A Thought-Weighing Machine.
The cerebrum is tho organ of the
will and it is known that in tho exer
ciso of its function thero is nninoreased
supply of blood to that part. Profes
sor Mosso, an ltaliau physiologist, has
invented a thought-weighing maohine,
consisting of delicate balanoes so con
trived that they weigh the varying
amount of blood in tho brain. The
activity of the brain is in direot pro
portion to the amount of blood thero
in. According to a looal newspaper
report, tho machine is so delicately
constructed that it readily detects the
differenoo in tho exertion required to
read Greek above that necessary to
read Latin. Every youngster is ready
to believe in the maohine.—Medical
Kecord.
The Czar's Horses anil Carriages.
The Ozar of Russia has four sepa
rate "services" of horsosand oarriagos;
namely, the Russian, French, English
and gala sets. Each set comprises at
least fifty horses. The Russian set
accompanies tho Emperor wherever he
goes, and at Gatohina it is used, to-
I gether with tho English set.
CHILDREN'S CORNER.
GOOD READING FOR BOYS AND
GIRLS.
Tho Silliest Question —A Diamond In the
Rough—Curiosities Attajhed to Num
ber Nine—Hear Stops a Sehoulma'm —
Muiuble-tlie-I'eg, a New Game.
tj~ | DEAR little girl
I I with eyes of blue,
Z__l And yellow curls
/ I and a dimple, too;
' | And we loved to
tease her, as some
folks do,
And ask her the sil
liest questions.
"Oh what Is Poppy,
say, little Ann?"
"Poppy? Poppy? Why, Poppy's a man,"
She smiled at us brightly as onward
we ran
With the silliest, silliest questions.
"And what Is Sissy?" The blue eyes
gleam.
"Sissy's a gu-url," she says with a
scream
Of laughter as light as a rippling
stream,
At this silliest, silliest question.
"And Botty? Botty Is surely a toy
Of golden metal with no alloy?"
"Botty? Botty? Why, Botty's a boy."
The silliest, silliest question.
"Then, what Is Mommy?" The blue
eyes shed
A faint love glance, low dropped the
head,
"Why, Mommy Is Mommy," little Ann
said
To this silliest, silliest question.
Oh, dear little girl with eyes of blue.
And yellow curls and a dimple, too,
Yes, Mommy Is Mommy the whole
world through;
So good-bye to the silliest questions.
—Philadelphia American.
A Rough Diamond.
Walking down the street we saw two
very ragged boys with bare toes, red
and shining, and tattered clothes upon
which the soil of long wear lay thick
and dingy. They were "few and far
between"—only jacket and trousers —
and these solitary garments were very
unneighborly, and objected to a union,
however strongly the autumn wind
hinted at the comfort of such an ar
rangement. One of the boys was per
fectly jubilant over a half-withered
bunch of flowers some person had cast
away. "I eay, Billy, warn't somebody
real good to drop these 'ere posies jest
where I could find 'em, and these so
pooty and nice? Look sharp, Billy,
and may be you'll find some bimeby—
O, jolly! Billy, if dere ain't most half
a peach, and tain't much dirty neither.
'Cause you ain't got no peach, you may
bite first. Bite bigger, Billy, may be
we'll find another 'fore long."
That boy was not cold, nor poor, and
never will be; his heart will keep him
warm, and if men and women forsake
him the very angels will feed him and
fold their wings about him. "Bite
bigger, Billy, may be we'll find another
'fore long." What a hopeful little soul!
If he finds his unselfishness illy repaid,
he will not turn misanthrope, for God
made him to be a man, one to bear his
own burdens uncomplainingly, aiid help
his fellows besides.
Cariosities Attached to Number Nine.
It is by nines that eastern presents
are given when made on a scale of '
great magnificence. "To the nines,"
expresses a state of perfection, as
"dressed up to the nineß." Chaucer,
Heywood and Shakespeare speak of a
nine-days' wonder; a cat has nine lives;
a tailor is the ninth part of a man; ,
Shakespeare makes Hotspur cavil on
the ninth part of a hair; it was a num
ber of magical power dear to witches,
as we read in Macbeth; Shakespeare
again has the "Nine Sibyls of old
Rome;" we have the games of nine
men's morris and nine-pins; the butcher
bird is called the nine-killer, from its
habit of Impaling nine of the animals
on which it feeds before It begins Its
meal; the nine of Diamonds is called
the curse of Scotland; there were nine
muses; nine planets; nine order of an
gels—angels, archangels, virtues, pow
ers, principalities, dominions, thrones,
cherubim, seraphim; the Etruscans had
nine gods who alone had the power of
hurling thunderbolts; the Novensiles
wero the nine Sabine gods; the Noven
dial ashes were the ashes of the dead
buried on the ninth day; the nine .wor
thies wero Hector, Alexander, Julius
Caesar, Joshua, David, Judas Maccab
aeus, Arthur, Charlemagne, and God
frey of Bouillon; there were, too, nine
worthies of London, whoso chronicles
were written by R. Johnson in the six
teenth century. Every ninth wave, as
Tennyson sings, is said to be the larg
est; and last, not least, possession is
nine points of tho law. Pythagoris
made three the perfect number; nine
was consecrated by Buddhism, and is
revered by the Moguls and Chinese.
The peculiar property of number nine
from a mathematical point of view is,
that when it is multiplied by another
number the digits composing the pro
duct, when added together, give nine.
Hear Stop* School ma'am.
Some days ago Lucretia Rltter, teach
er of a school in the Elk Lake district,
Sullivan county, had n thrilling experi
ence with a black bear, says the New
York Press. Her school is in a sparsely
settled part of the county, and the road
from her boarding place runs through
a mile of dense woods. When walking
along through the woods she saw what
she thought was a yearling calf In the
path. She shook her lunch basket at
the beast to see It scamper. It didn't
scamper. She found that It was not a
calf but a full-grown black bear. The
bear eh :./ ...:1 her, with mouth
open. Miss Rltter ran to a crooked
tree and managed to climb to a fork In
the tree, twelve feet above the ground.
The bear stopped to eat the contents of
her lunch basket, while she screamed
lustily for help. In her efforts to get
higher Mlsb Hitter's clothing became
fast In a broken limb. The bear made
no effort to climb the tree, but kept the
school teacher In the tree nearly three
hours, when a farmer, Mr. Shurk, came
along. The bear fled and the farmer
climbed up Into the tree and helped
her down. Once on the ground Miss
Rltter fainted and Mr. Shurk carried
her to the nearest farmhouse, a mile
away.
Grant's Game of Mumble-the-Peg.
"A favorite game with the boys of
John D. White's subscription school,
at Georgetown, was mumble-the-peg.
Grant couldn't play the game very skill
fully, and the peg always got a few
clandestine licks every time he was to
pull it," says McClure's Magazine. "On
one occasion it was driven in so deep
that the boys thought Lys could never
get it out He set to work with his '
forehead down in the dirt, the sun beat- ;
Ing hot upon him, and the crowd of
boys and girls shutting out every
breath of freßh air. The peg would not
move. The red-faced, shock-headed,
thickset boy, with his face now all over
mud, had forgotten his comrades, and \
saw only one thing in the world —that
was this stubborn peg. The bell rang, j
but the boy did not hear it A minute |
later, after a final effort he staggered to
his feet with the peg in his mouth. The
old schoolmaster was in the door of the
schoolhouse, with his long beech switch
—the only person to be seen. There
was glee inside at this new develop
ment —here was fun the boys had not
counted on. Imagine their surprise
when, as the boy came closer, and the
stern old schoolmaster saw his face, he
Bet down the switch inside the door
and came outside. One boy slipped to
the window and reported to the rest.
The old man was pouring water on
Lys Grant's hands and having him
wash his face. He gave him his red
bandanna to wipe it dry. What the
school saw a minute later waß the
schoolmaster coming in, patting this
very red and embarrassed boy on the
head."
"Ilorttea with Wheels."
"It was In the early days of railroad
ing In the south," remarked the gentle
man with the stock of reminiscences
the other day. "I was located In Flor
ida about the time when the govern
ment had made vassals of the Seminole
Indlanß of that state, and In order to
impress the redoubtable 'Billy Bowlegs,'
the Tecumseh of the Semlnoles, It had
Invited that 'heap big chieftain' to
make a trip to the seat of the national
government. Billy was a bit dubious
about accepting the Invitation, fearing
possibly that the Great Father atWash-
Ington might have designs upon his life
>r happiness, but he was prevailed upon
to make the trip and he embarked on
board of the train with a great show
of courage. The tralnß of that period
were not the flyers of to-day; In fact,
on many of the Bhort lines engineers
were compelled to get out of their cabs
and walk to lighten the train and per
mit It to proceed at an even rate of
speed. When Billy Bowlegs returned
from his visit he had overcome his
trepidation and looked with scorn up
on the locomotive. I visited Billy a
day or two after his return and asked
him how be liked traveling on the Iron
horse.
"Huh," he said, with an upward
twist of his prominent proboscis, 'horse
wld wheels no good. Big heap no good.
Me on horse better than two; run 'way
all time. White man heap smart; In
|un heap better. Huh!' "—New Orleans
Times-Democrat.
Another Palace of Hey.
Toronto, Ont., will have to step back
with Its palace of hay. One of our
boys who lives In Sollltt, 111., read the
paragraph published last week about
Toronto's scheme for such a building
at the coming exposition, and he sat
right down and wrote that the plan
wasn't new at all. Here's part of his
letter:
"About five years ago such a palace
was built, and stood as erected for two
years within fifty mlleß of Chicago, at
the town of Momence, where It was vis
ited by large crowds dally, the baled
hay being taken from the Kankakee
swamps. It was handsomely decorated
with grains and ornamental grasses of
all kinds. —John S. Elliott."
Hurrah for Momcnce—our boys and
girls will stand up for her and her pal
ace of hay.
Tlic Star Sahlei
Over the trees and the blossoms,
Over the fresh green lawn,
The diamond sparkle of dewdrops
Greeted the sunny dawn.
The baby looked from the window
With bright and wondering eyes,
And then he sought for an answer
In the mysteries of the skies.
"Why, mamma," he softly whispered,
Seeing dewdrops far and near,
"See the stars' little babies;
They have come to visit us here."
- Marlon Guthrie, in the Child Garden.
Starving Out Education.
In the province of Guadalajara there
are something over 250 schoolmasters
whose individual salaries do not reach
500 pesetas per annum. The school ol
Canamares receives an annual grant
of 46 pesetas (|B, roughly). In spite
of this Bcale of payment, the depart
ment of education owes the schools
and teachers of this single province
193,000 pesetas. And the schoolmast
ers of Velez-Malaga, literally at the
point of starvation, have addressed a
piteous circular, Imploring aid, to the
sovereigns and heads of other states,
Including the president of the French
republic.—North American Review.
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
BTOREES THAT ARB TOLD BT THB
FtJNNT MEN OF THE PRESS.
Not Particular—A Gutting Remark—
Slaking Preparations —No Place
for Her—A Tabooed Toplo, Kto.
The men who always light upon
Their feet, no matter what they do,
Are men who aro not worried If
They tight on someone else's too.
—Truth.
A OCTTINa REMARK.
"I hear they've laid off a number of
hands down at the sawmill ?"
"Tea; so the surgeon was telling
ma."—Detroit News.
NO PLACE FOB HER.
"I'll wager that woman submarine
diver doesn't stay nnder the water,
more than ten minutes at a time."
"Why?"
"Nobody down there to talk to."—
Chicago Booord.
BOW IT HAPPENS.
Foots (meditatively)—" After all,
there are as good fish in the sea as were
ever caught."
Grimshaw—"Tea, and very mnoh
better. The biggest ones always get
away, yon know."—Judge.
MAKING PREPARATIONS.
Emma—"And, Charlie, dear, wonld
yon have really shot yourself if I had
refused you?"
"Indeed I would 1 I had already
sent to fonr houses for prioe lists of
revolvers."—Fliegende Blaetter.
A TABOOED TOPIC.
Bhe—"Would you love me just the
same, dearest, if I were poor instead
of worth a million?"
He—"l have registered a solomn
vow never to disouss the flnanoiat
question again."—Detroit Free Frew.
THE MODERN HERO.
Maud— "Who is that deformed yoang
fellow talking to May Smiley?"
Ethel—"Why, that's Mr. Davkins,
the famons fullback. Ho had his
shoulder twisted in the last big matoh."
Maud—"What a lovely deformity I
[ntrodnoo mo, dear."—Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
A NEW BHBED.
"That's a nioe looking dog," re
marked the kindly old gentleman, who
takes an interest in everything.
"Yes, sub. He looks all right," re-
Clied the oolored man who was lead
ig him with a pleee of rope.
"He looks like a pointer."
"Yes, Bah. Da's what he look like.
Bat dat ain' what he is. He's a dla
tppoiuter."—Washington Star.
THE WRONO TRAIN.
First Train Bobber (out West) —
"Hallo, Bill, how'd yer git along wid
that job ter-day I",'
Beoond Train Bobber (sadly)—
'•Didn't git along noway. Got the
wrong train."
"Eh? Didn't yer git the express?"
i "Naw; we made a mistake an' Btrnok
an excursion of real estate agents, an'
they took every oent wo had."—New
fork Weekly.
STOCK.
"The femalo sex," said Monslem
Oalino, lately, "is the most illogical
in the world."
"What new proof bavo you of the
want of devotion of women to the
eanons of logio?" he was asked.
"Why, take my wife," answered
Oalino. "I had all the tronble in the
world to get her to enter her thirties,
and now, a dozen years later, I oan'l
gel her ont of them."—The Wave.
Fonoor HE WAS IN IT.
The palm for absent mindedness is
probably taken by a learned German,
whom a Berlin oomio papor calls Pro
fessor Dasel, of Bonn. One day the
Professor notioed his wife placing a
large bonqnet on his desk. "What
does that moan?" he asked.
"Why I" she exolaimed, "don't yon
know that this is the anniversary of
your marriage?"
"Ah, indeed, is it?" said the Pro
feeßor, politely. "Kindly let me know
when yonrs comes around, and I will
reoiprooato the favor."—Pittsburg
Bulletin.
AN EXPLANATION.
Benevolent Gentleman (indignantly)
—"You're a fraud. Yon told me the
other day you wouldn't be begging
but for yonf wife and two children,
and I learn from the police tbat yonr
wife has been dead a long time, and
that your two children are grown up
and in good circumstances."
Beggar—"lndeed, I told you noth
ing bat the truth, sir. I wouldn't be
begging, as 1 said, but for my wife
and two ohildren. My wife sup
ported me till she died, and my two
ohildren might support me, bat they
won't. I wouldn't wont to be beggiDg
with a lie on my tongue.''—Tratb.
A SKELETON EXPOSED.
The now woman orator waxed elo
quent.
"And what," she demanded, as she
oame to the olimax, "is to be the re
salt of oar emancipation?"
Bhe looked around with the oalm
assurance of one who bad asked a
poser, and this was too mnoh for the
little man who was waiting for his wife
in a far oorner of the hall.
"I know," he shouted.
"Ab," returned the now woman on
the platform, soornfully, "the little
man with the bald head thinks he has
solved the problem that we came here
to discuss this afternoon. We will •
gladly give oar attention while he
tells as what iB to be the result."
"Cold dinners and ragged children,"
roared the little man.—Chicago Post,