Highct of all in Leavening Strength.—Latest U. S. Gov't Report. ABSOLUTELY PURE FREELAND TRIBUNE, SsUfcllsfcod 1838. PUBLISHED EVERY MONDAY AND THURSDAY BY Tns TRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY, Limited. OFFICE: MAIN STREET ABOVE CSNTHS. Make all money orders, checks, etc., payable k the Tribune Printing Company, Limited. SUBSCRIPTION RATES: One Year $1.50 Six Months 75 Four Mouths 50 Two Months 36 The date which the subscription is paid to is on the uddrcss label of each paper, the change of which to a subsequent date becomes a receipt for remittance. For instance: Grovor Cleveland 38June07 means that Grover is paid up to June 38,1897• Keep the figures in advance of tho present date. Report promptly to this office whenever paper is not received. Arrearages must be paid when subscription is discontinued. FREELAND, PA.. JANUARY 25, 1897. California has developed a new gold field in the Mojave desert California beautifully observes the eternal fitness sf things by growing wheat on her arable lands and locating her gold niinoe only where thoy will not be in the way of agriculture. Much of the criticism of the Kansas press upon Senator Peffer appears to be based upon the fact that he was earning only sl2 a week editing the -Kansas Farmer prior to his election to the Senate. He ought not to lw blamed for that. Any man under those circum stances is to be commended for getting a now job if ho can. An eminent Canadian who recently visited in London declared that Groat Britain will sooner of later have to annex the United States as a means of keeping the peace. If that Canadian prophet and the fool killer ever meet they will have to find something to ar bitrate or there will be a sudden in crease in the mortality rate. Senator Allen expects his investigat ing committee to take very nearly a solid year in ascertaining "to what ex tent. money was used in promoting the nominations or In influencing the choice of Presidential Electors" in the late campaign. It is a large assign ment, however, and will take a great deal of time to cover it thoroughly. Such a demand for American cotton has sprung up iu Japan and China that it pays to ship the product from the cotton States all the way to San Francisco by rail, and there put ir on board vessels for its destination. If. with this handicap, American cotton can hold its own against the product of Egypt and India in the Oriental mar ket, it must be of superior quality in deed. Figruea are impressive things, es pecially wlion they are on the right side. The statement that the exports of this country for October and No vember amounted to $222,000,000. which would make tho total for the year, if kept up at the same rate, sl.- 380,000,000, is magnificent, and the in formation that the exports for Novem ber alone show a balance of $0 ( J,038.- SBS over the imports is very gratifying. This is a great country and It does business on a largo scale. Kansas is preparing to send a train load of provisions to the destitute of Oh lea go and Now York. At the same time Kansas Is raising a protest against the ''dumping" of New York pauper children upon hor soil, n prac tice which, she says, has gone beyond the limits of both charity and forbear ance. Kansas has a surplus of corn and New York of pauper children, and. as each pays the freight on its pro duct. ir would seem most economical for Kansas to keep its corn ai home to feed the children sent to it. but there are other considerations which have doubtless convinced the Sunflower State in taking the action it has. It would not be surprising if our j Government should hare trouble in re-1 viring reciprocity relations with other i countries, after the cavalier mauuor in | which the former agreements for that purpose were broken off by Congress. { but so many advantages can be shown to accrue to both sides in these ar rangements that it is probable most, if not all, of the countries with whom it I is desirable to establish them will con- j sent to do so, especially if the proposal j to make the treaties terminable only I after two years' notice, and then by j mutual consent, shall he incorporated in thoni. Reciprocity with the South j American States is especially ilesir- j aide and can probably be established j by fair and liberal Scaling with them. J As to Kleptomania. Speaking of tlic claim that klepto mania is a "nervoiw disease," which, Vary curiouoly, according to legal And madical practice, seeum to attack only wealthy people, the I/ondon Chronicle says: "Our prison records are fuH of cases of people whose offenses are clear ly dua to mere aberration, but who havs wo such consideration from her majes ty's judge* or from t.he home secretary a* Mrs. Castle Jias received. We hare before ue the story of a poor man who, at 60, began to steal looking-glasses. He stole no tiling but Jooklng-glusse*, and he stole them continuously. lie spent several years in prison for ep srate offenses of thU character, and finally died in prison at the uge of 05. Of course, this man's caoe wn not con sidered a* Mrs. Castle's was considered —that is, in relation to the prisoner's mind as well as with reference to the actual offense." The city fathers of Louisville, Ivy., hav# some well-defined notions a* re gards the proper means of maintaining a cleanly cJty. An ordinance has been introduced providing that if any por son filial 1 apit or expectorate or cast, throw or deposit upon any public aide walk for pedestrians, or in or upon any corridor, vestibule or stairway, or in any public room or in any public build ing, in the city of Louisville, uuy spittle, tobacco juice, refuse tobacco, sputum of any emanation of secretion of the bead, throat, lungs or mouth, he shall l>e guilty of a misdemeanor and shall be fined not less than one dollar nor mora than five dollars for each offense. Such an ordinance should be in force in every town aiud city in the land. A football game at Osgood, Ind., the other day was broken up by the sudden appearance upon the field of a number of skunks. Tho first half of the game was ended, when some boys just out side of the line, in the edge of the wood, drove a puck of skunks out of a hollow log. They ran through tho field in all directions, two of them getting mixed up with boys in a ecrimmage. The players weakened in their work, and finally were forced to give up the game. Several hundred spectators were pres ent, a large number of whom were vie iiinaof the skunks. Now we know what skuuks are good for. Mrs. Daataria B. Andre, of New Lon don, Conn., who is now in her seventy eighth year, was one of a party who went out after mackerel in the sound tho other day. Mi's. Andre did not go us n spectator, but took un active part in the fishing operations, and she suc ceeded in landing 32 line fish, which was more than any other member of the party secured. Mrs. Andre is, probably, the oldest New London lady who ha* ventured out on such an expedition this year, but she la still hale and hearty, and bids fair to be able to catoh fish for years to come. There are some mammoith rattlers in Texas, Judging from the report that it took two 48-pound Backs of men! to stuff the skin of a rattlesnake killed by Thomas Her tag, of Laurel, recently. It was ten feet two and three-quarter inches long and had 18 rattles. A ten foot snake with only 18 rattles and ca pacity for 90 pounds of meal in it* hide? Well, somewhat of a snake, sure ly. The snake editor who gave that, story out is onto his job. Helen lvcllnr, tho deaf, dumb and blind girl student at the RedclilTe col lege, has added to her other accomplish ments that of riding a bicycle. This remarkable girl was seen the other day seated on the hind scat of a tandem, riding with a friend on Massachusetts avenue, Cambridge, near the college. The friend guide* the machine, while Miffs Kellar does her share of the pro pelling. She rides gracefully and evi dently highly enjoys it. H minted with the idea that he had oisly a short time to live, Stephen Lang ford, a wealthy miser of White Ilall, near Richmond, Ky., sent for his nephew, W. A. Langford, and made him n present of $5,000 in cash and a fine liluc grass farm, his idea being to avoid possible litigation after his death. Some time ago the old gentleman had his coffin made and a tombstone prepared, and now says lie is ready for the deatli angel's summons. A Lebanon (Ind.) woman weighing 550 pounds eloped the other day with 100 pounds of hired man, but it is liard ly probable that he followed the tra ditional method of sliding down the rainwater spout with the fair heroine in his arms. As the lone fisherman uould ejaculate: "Now wouldn't that pull your cork under!" At Rome City, Ind., n Pittsburgh frav liiug man became acquainted with a girl on Monday, wired her an offer of marriage on the following Wednesday, was accepted by return dispatch, and the marriage took place on Thursday. Quick work, but will it last? ... A HERO. He rover bucked the center On tho gory, ghastly field; lie never grasped a bully's throat And choked him till he "squealed;" He never entered a balloon To navigate the ulr; Me never shot a tiger or Explored a leopard's lair. He never plunged Into the flood To save a drowning maid; He never climbed a snow-clad peak Or faced a flashing blade; lie never rescued from the flames A gasping little child; He never saved a thousand lives From an engine running wild. He never faced the cannon's mouth, Oh heard grim war's alarm; He never closed his eyes and rushed Unheedlngly to harm; He never clasped a maiden fair . And held her foes at bay; He never risked his life to stop A frightful runaway. But, though the skies be dark above And fortune seems to frown- Though everything appears to have Combined to keep him down- He plods along his weary way With hope still In his breast; He never murmurs, but la Just Content to do his best. —Cleveland Leader. A CURIOUS COUPLE. The village of II is one of the quaintest little places imaginable. It is so small, and so out of the way, thai you would never find it, except by ac cident. Indeed, it stands apart iu some fields, absolutely concealed in a hol low, and is only approached ou one side by a footpath (which iu the winter is usually under water), on another by a cart track of the rudest and roughest description. When you do arrive there, the first object to strike you is the church. There is something pleasing, some thing grateful to the eye in this gray, plain, disproportioned little structure. It seems to lit into its surroundings admirably; the farmyard, the cottages, the brook flowing just below (they call it "the river" there, where every thing is on so reduced a scale), the ever present geese and sheep and cattle, and the perfect seclusion of surround ing pastures. Nothing but green which ever way you look. No houses (except the quaint little cluster round the church), 110 distant view; everything shut in by tho slopes which skill the valley; a complete environment of everlasting fields. I have seen many churchyards. This one, lying begirt 011 all sides by the farm homestead, tiny,indifferently kept, shaded by ma 113' cypresses and weeping ash, where scarcely once a year, per haps, is tho slumbering soil disturbed for a new grave, and where everything spciiks of dreamy restfulncss, this churchyard of It is the spot in which I myself would soonest choose to lie. One 1 knew who now reposes there— a former rector; the kindest, heartiest, tenderest, most beloved of pastors. Those who have since died in It have all wished to be laid near him. And now around him sleeps a. little cluster of his horny-handed friends. A happy family. The whole churchyard is peaceful. But in that especial corner the peacefulness seems always most profound. It was this rector's nephew and suc cessor—for II has been a family liv ing any time this two centuries past — to whom I am indebted for the follow ing story. He often strolled out with me when I went to paint, and, while smoking innumerable pipes, told me many interesting local yarns. This one, however, the facts of which bod late ly come under his own experience, quite overtopped all the others in striking ness and peculiarity. Here it is, sub stantially in my informant's words: "You sco that cottage over there?" he suid, pointing to a dismantled hovel in the corner of the field where 1 had pitched iny canvas. I nodded. "A most remarkable history is at tached to it," he went on. "Not a legend, but a fact. Of this, 1 can as sure you, because I myself had a hand in finding it out. Itcenters round a cer tain couple who lived there —the most extraordinary old folk that 1 ever came across. 1 should like you to have seen them. I think you would have admitted them to be the ugliest pair in Eng land, as they certainly were the most close and unfriendly. During the 16 years that they lived in that cottage, they never once asked a neighbor in side." "Umph! Hermits, indeed," I ob served. "Absolute hermits. There was, how ever, some slight excuse for their es chewing all outside compjuiy. Each su f fcred from a severe physical infirmity. The woman was nearly stone deaf; the man was dumb. When, they first cnunc here —18 years ago now, I think—m,\ untcio, who, as you know, was then rec tor, tried to find out what lie could about them. He only learned a little, and that little was nothing out of the way. It transpired that the man was an ex-sailorof tho royal navy, who had lost his speech after a severe attack of yellow fever in tho West Indies. lie was now entitled to a pension, which he drew half yearly, and which my uncle only knew about by the fact that the old fellow had to come to him peri odically to get his papers signed. Tho woman was his sister, so she gave the neighbors to understand, and so also might have been inferred from a certain family likeness which was noticeable beftween them. She was a most ill-fti vored hag; shrivelled, unkempt, and dirty beyond description. Although she then (must have been nearer 70 than CO, her long, touzled hair was still as black us a coal, und hung in hideous Untidiness about lifrr hawk-like face, widch, with its dark eyes, and its hooked proboscis,wasmost uncommonly forbid ding. The jioar people all pronounced her n witch; and, for that reason, gave ,her a wide berth. Probably the womau purposely encouraged the idea. For her great aim and object was, evidently, to be left alone. 'Although heir brothers pension, | h mounting 'to about Is. lid a dny, was J rimple to keep two old folks decantly, j and even comfortably, in that cheapest j of neighborhoods, these two always | gave the impression of being half starved, and 1 do not. believe that either of them purchased a new article of clothing the whole time they lived in H From this people bega.n to infer t hat they were misers, and as time went on many things happened to strengthen the inference. All along they had dis covered the greatest anxiety and ap prehension when anyone tried to gain access to their hovel. Indeed, my uncle hns often told me that the expression of Ihe old peoples face.q "When he called there, and one or other of them peered round the chained door at 'him, was really quite comical In its suspicious trepidation; and the older they grew, the mora pronounced did their precau tions to prevent outsiders entering be lome. "At first they had sometimes ventured to lock up their house and moke an ex cursion together into F (lie named the adjoining market town, which I will not further particularize.) "But by and by they gave up such reck lessness entirely, and whenever one of them went out, the other always re mained on guard at home. The precau tion was quite necessary. All the poor in the neighborhood were by this Bane fully convinced that there was some thing 'unked' about them; and no one in 11 , or for miles round, would have willingly crossed their threshold, even if the door had been left open. But these old misers were altogether 100 suspicious to reason, and seemed to live in an ever-increasing fear of having their privacy invaded. "My uncle (us he himself told me shortly before bis death) was greatly exercised about his two strange par ishioners. Many rectors would have considered themselves absolved of a.ll obligations toward people who not merely never attended church, but re fused even to admit their clergyman into their house when he called. But that was not my uncle's way. Every poor man who lived in his parish lie held to be under his pastoral protection, and he felt himself bound to look after his interests. In regard to these two old misers, however, it was difficult to know what was the kindest course. To let them live 011 in their present, half starved condition, and in that fearfully insanitary hovel, undisturbed, seemed no real kindness. And yet he was loath to set the parish or the sanitary officer upon their track. He held very strong ly to the opinion that an Englishman's house—even if it be nothing better than a pig sty—is his castle; and, in his heart, by 110 means approved of the wide com pulsory power then lately given to the local authorities. "Besides, after all, what could such authorities do? Compel them 1o evacu ate their miserable shanty, 110 doubt. Hut the old people would then simply change their local habitation, not their mode of life. And as regards sturving themselves, not all the boards of guard ians in Somerset could make people eat who did not choose to do so. It was pos sible, indeed, that they might be medically found of unsound mind; and, tn that case, they could be removed to the workhouse infirmary or the county Of.ylum. But even supposing that feasi ble, it was a course from wbich my un cle shrank. And the outcome of it nil was that he let things remain in statu quo. "When 1 succeeded him here, I went to call, now and then, on the old peo ple; meeting, however, with the some treatment that my uncle had always experienced. Sometimes, they would not open the door at all; at others, they did so with the chain up, and conversed with me through a narrow aperture. 111 reply to my inquiries whether I could do anything, or give them any assistance, I always had a negative returned: until at last 1 gave up trying to make head way in so hopeless a direction, and left the two hermits pretty much to them selves. "The man came to nie regularly every half year to get his pension papers signed; and I took advantage of these opportunities to give him some friendly advice, and to remonstrate with liini 011 his folly in starving himself and wearing such inadequate clothing in the coldest weather. At first I had mode him a present of some old coats, trousers and flannel shirts. But I soon gave up that, for he never wore them; and 1 formed the impression that he had prob ably converted them into cash. In fact, I asked him one day what he had done with them all. lie only looked cun ning, nffected stupidity, and made some unintelligible signs. Despite his dumb ness, he could make me understand things very well when he liked—es pecially anything connected with his pension papers. It was only when he did not wish to make himself under stood that his signs had 110 meaning in them. "In this matter of coming to have his his papers signed, he was, as I have&nid, always absolutely punctual. 011 March £5 and September 29 he appeared a! the rectory as regularly as clockwork, taking me on the way to F , where lie had to present his papers at the post office. I always looked for him on the morning of those days, and al ways took tho precaution to have my study windows wide open. The old man and water had long been mutual strangers, and the atmosphere which attended liini was, to say the least, rather oppressive. When he was gone; 1 added io my disinfectant precau tions with a strong pipe; and I can as sure von that the foulest pipe in my rack had to be called into requisition. A sort of homoeopathy, you see. How over, this is by the way. "He was always, ns 1 have said, punctual in coming. And when one Michaelmas day—it was just two years ago now—came and went without his putting in an appearance, I at o-nce remarked it as n very noticeable cir cumstance. The next day I expecteTl Mm—with opened windows— and the next, and the next; but he did not turn up. At length, after waiting a week, 1 felt sure that he must be ill, and went over to the shanty to inquire. "I hammered at the door. Nobody answered. I hammered louder and louder, with the same result. In the end, as a last resort, I tried it. To my surprise, it was unfastened. I pushed it open and went in. "I cannot tell you what my feelings were as I entered that miserable sty. A more dismal, forlorn, and withal filthy hovel has surely never been in habited by human beings. There was scarcely any furniture. The walls were black and covered with cobwebs, and simply alive with creeping insects; and the lloor—well, I won't attempt to de scribe it. I think you could cut the at mosphere with u knife, so thick and foul it was; and fetid, oh, insufferably fetid. It nearly poisoned me, and my first impulse was to beat u hasty re treat into the open. Ilut a low moan from the corner attracted me. 1 looked; and there 1 saw a sight at once loath fronie and pitiable. "Crouching aguinst the wull, upon the dump and moldy floor, was a figure cov ered with au old sack. 1 went nearer. At first I could not see which of the two it was. But, on looking more closely, I made it out to be the old woman. She was almost naked, except for the cov ering of the sack; and one of her yel low arms, which lay exposed, looked unspeakably lean and shrheled and weird. I also noted another point. The tangled black hair, wbich had always struck me so about her, was now be- Iruycd iks not being her own. It was u wig; half on and half off ut that mo ment, giving her a fearfully grotesque appearance, und clearly revealing her bald pate, scantily fringed with a few wld spa of gray hair, beneath. "'What is the matter? Are you ill?' I asked, bending down, and speaking in a loud, clear voice; for I knew her to be almost stone deaf. "She stared at me with dazed, sus picious eyes, and said nothing; only moaning again. "'Arc you ill?' I repeated. "Another moan. " 'Where is your brother?' I shouted. 'Has lie left.you alone?' "Sho looked hard at me. I could see in her restless black eyes that this time sho had caught the purport of iny ques tion. " 'Bu'other Tom?' she muttered. " 'Yes!' I loured. 'Where is he?' "She looked at me very cunningly. Her eyes seemed to woke up and sparkle with aji almost unnatural brightness. " 'Don't you know?' she gasped. "I shook my head. "'Well, you shall hear,' she went on. 'l'm just going the same way myself, and it's no nse keeping secrets any longer. lie's dead.' " 'Dead!' I excluimed, supposing that heir wits were wandering, for 1 had seen him at his hovel door less than a fortnight since. 'When did he die?' "She gave a low chuckle. " 'Fifteen year ago.' "Now, of course, I saiw that she was raving. Heir hawk-like eyes, fixed on my face in a most forbidding leer, at once read my thoughts. " 'No, I ain't mad. It's the truth. He died 15 year ago, and 1 buried him my self under yonder hearthstone. Bet them to dig it up, and you'll find his bones.* "As she spake, the. hug clutched 1113 sleeve and half raised herself by a su preme effort-. IIr face wore a fiendish ly exultant grin. Her whole expression was grotesque, and repulsive. She leered into my face with a look that 1 can never forget. "'Yes, yes,' she said. 'All true—all true. I hid it, and no one knew. And,' with u hideous chuckle, 'l've dror'd pension myself for 15year!' " "And were hear brother's bones found there?" I asked the rector, in the course of <1 subsequent conversation on the subject. "Yes. He bud been buried scarcely a couple of feet below the surface. And in n. hole in tho chimney we found the fndscr's savings—more thun J.'51)0 in gold and notes. It was paid over to the government, in return for the 15 yours* pension out of wthieh they had been ch exited." "It was a wonder that 110 one found out the woman's dual personality." "It was, indeed. But uo one dreamed of suspecting. And the woman must have worked it very cunningly. The dif fere nee in her look with and without the black wig was quite remarkable. Then her brother's dumbness was a feature ill her favor—llo chance of be Ing found out by the voice. Of course, to anyone who had the smallest sus picion, tho whole thing would soon have revealed iteclf as plain as a. pikestaff. But no suspicion existing, I do not think that. the real explanation was likely to cross anyone's mind, and, as a matter of fn-ct, it never did."—London Truth. lint* nn! Veils. In millinery toques are daily gaining in favor, and also the white felt liats with a black ribbon simply, or with the addition of a few cock's feathers, up right or drooping. The square and "jam pot" crowns are vying with the round, and the boat-shape with the lailor. For bridesmaids the whole felt, so-called picture lints, with long os J trich feathers, will be among the most popular. The fashion, coming to in from the French, of tilting the wide brimmed bats over She eyes and turn ing them up very much at the back, with flowers, suits many faces well, but not all. The veils worn with these hats are long and loosely gathered up,nearly D/ s yards being required.—£|t. Louis Globe-Democrat. Pineapple TnfTy. The plain taffy, unflnvored, is used for this. When cooked take out half of it, add pineapple flavor, pull until white, and form into a large, flat cake. Color the other half a bright pink, pull that, and place on tho white candy in fine trlpfeßi-S.ieri.es* Home Jourtal, SEE £ASTGR|A I THAT THE AVegc tabic Preparation for As- 9 SIGNATURE slmilating the Food andßeguta- H tii\g the Stomachsandßov.'clsof H OF Promotes Digestion,Cheerful nessandßest.Contains neither S$ Opium.Morphine nor >Dneral. ®f TC! r\T\T rrrrn NotNabcotic. I ifc> UJN r x>ci>c<>foidnrS/j!U3LrJTcnai a Wl\ APPRP J*umpktn S.-td - ■ 4lx.Sc/uut * j jH ( *tfsJ?r I I OF EVERY Ji/penaint . > iHi Cu/banalt SnJ/t, * I IB ! Suf/nr . j 111 BOTTLE of Aperfectßemedy forConslipa- jßjjfg&fc $3 RBfe ■ HI j tion, Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea, 9]Bg jrl |H|gn 89 N Worms; Convulsions .Feverish- SB Jljjj m j| 9 lUf Ef B aess and Loss OF SLEEP, il |3 9 SjM g Facsimile Signature of 93 Sftll I 93 or ' a e " B ' Ze eS Thofao- /? - EXACT COPT OF WRAPPER. 9 eimllo - If • tl Frr < WB PAY EXPRESS CHAR3ES TO YOUTI DOOR RKMCMBER. you buy ditecj from one cfrtwli rg<