It costs mora to run New York City
a year than it does to run the State.
About $20,000,000 for the State and
over $30,000,000 for the city.
Many a man passes his entire life
without learning how to live; igno
rance causes more nnhappiness in the
world than anything except starva
tion.
Russia has the most rapidly increas
ing population of any country in Eu
rope. The growth in the last hun
dred years has been a fraotion under
1,000,000 annually.
The British crown is the heaviest in
the world. The Prince of Wales,
however, will nover be able to at
tribute his baldness to that fact, ob
serves the Washington Star.
United States Consul O'Hara, at San
Juan del Norte, Nicaragua, says:
"Four hundred bioycles in Nioaragua
would bring about more wagon road
improvements in five years than have
been made during the country's 400
years of civilization."
New styles of pets are coming into
voguo. Narragansott women tlid"past
season discarded pugs and led about
Angora cats in pug dog harness. And
an entorprising citizen of Alaska has
lately captured and tamed a young
whalo, broken it to harness, and now
dashes ovor tho briny deep at tho rate
of twenty miles an hour or less behind
his strange steed. Next, the St.
Louis Star-Sayings presumes, every
lady on the sea coast must havo her
whale.
A year ago all of fashionable Lon
don was quite daft over the notion of
skating on artificial ice, and tho rinks
mndo such huge profits that specula
tors formed a company to build a great
National skating palace. Now this
company has gone into the hands of a
receiver, and another enterprise,
similar, though less ambitious, is also
on its last legs. The explanation is
the ono which serves to account for
everything nowadays—namely, that
everybody is cycling.
Part third of the 1895 census ol
Massachusetts is of interest as showing
tho growing proportion of naturalized
voters. The figures presented show
that in the State, as a whole, tho pro
portion of naturalized to tho whole
number of voters grew 19.73 per cent,
in 1875 to 22.31 per cent, in 1885, and
24.62 per cent, in 1895. Boston goes
much above this percentage, the
naturalized voters there being 32.57
per cent, of tho whole number. This
proportion, although nearly one-third,
is surpassed by some of tho manufac
turing cities, particularly Fall River,
where it has reached tho iemarkablo
percentage of ono-half. In Dukes
County the native voters aro nearly
one hundred per cent., and in Bristol
County the naturalized amount to very
nearly fifty per cent., these being tho
extremes in the State. A sub-division
is made of the male population twenty
years and over, so as to exhibit the
political condition. The total number
of twenty years and over is 771,706.
Of this population, tho ratable polio
number 766,233, or 99.29 per cent. ;
tbo aliens, 160,010, or 20.81 per cent. ;'
the persons not voters, for reasons
other than foreign birth, 44,821, or
5.81 per cent. ; the voters, 560,802, or
72.67 per cent.
Several days ago a young man in
New York brought suit against hie
former sweetheart to recover a dia
mond ring of the value of 8150, which
he had given her as a pledge of his
affection. One of the allegations siieci
fied in his bill of complaint is that his
passion has Jong since died out aud
that, in consequence of this fact, tho
ring should bo returned to him. la
this contention the young man is sus
tained by the New York World. That
paper cites the rule of etiquette which
proscribes that when two young peo
plo have decided to play quits in nlovo
affair they should mutually return all
presents except those of a perishablo
kind, such as candy, bouquets nnd
kisecs. The answer which the young
lady makes to the allegation is even
more amusing perhaps than tho alle
gation itself. Sho claims that tho ring
was not simply a pledge of her ex
lover's devotion but a partial payment
for tho affection which sho gave him
and tho exclusive privileges which
went along with it. She further urges
that the courtship involvod such ex
penses as coal and gas, the wear and
tenr of furniture, oxtra dressos nnd
bonnets, and the time which might
have been spent in doing tho family
sewing and housework. In view of
these considerations tho young lady
claims that the valuo of the ring is
merely a drop in the bucket. As
amusing an it may seem the case is
now pending in the courts of New
York.
HANNA'S FAT FRYING.
WHERE REPUBLICAN CAMPAIGN
FUNDS ARE COMING FROM.
Tra9tß Mmlo Prosperous t>y McKln
leyism to Contribute $10,000,000
Hundreds of Palms are Itching
to Ilnndio This Immense Sum.
Mark Hnuna admits that it will take
much money to educate the people
sufficiently to insure the election of
his candidate, and the fat-frying is
now in full blast. The gigantic trusts
and combines, all of which have been
benefited in tho past by the system
represented by Mr. McKinley and fur
ther hope for future benefits, are ex
pected to contribute liberally to the
Republican campaign fund and al
ready tho assessment necessary has
been decidoct upon.
Tho trusts are expected to contri
bute $10,000,000 tou-ards ttio election
of Mr. MolCiuley. As the total capi
talization of tho various trusts now do
ing business in defiance ol law is about
$1,500,000,000, the enormous sum of
fen million dollars can bo raised with
out a heavy assessment. It will neces
sitate n contribution of one dollar
from caoh trust for each $l5O of capi
tal stcok, or about two-thirds of one
per cent.
Tho largest chock will have to come
from tho Dressed Beef and Provision
Trust. This mouopoly will have to
raiso $665,000, and if you are com
pelled to pay a fow cents moro on each
pound of beef, lard and bacon you
buy in tho immediate futuro you may
know that you and other consumers
aro paying this assessment and that
Messrs. Armour, Cudahy, Swift, Fow
ler et 01. aro not losing anything in
thoir effort to protect tho credit of tho
United States.
Tho smallest amount will come from
tho trust that controls tho little
wooden skewers that bother you when
you try to carve your rib roast. The
output of those wooden pins is con
trolled by a trust which has a capital
of but $60,000, which is ainpio for tho
purpose, however. Tho trust will as
sist Mr. Hsuua to tho oxtoot of S4OO.
The two Coal Trusts, with an esti
mated cnpital of $100,000,000, an es
timate carefully and reliably made by
tho Philadelphia Times, from which
the figures of capitalization are taken,
is probably too low. As tho price of
coal has recently beeu advanced and
other advanoes are threatened, tho
$665,000 tho cool barons will contri
bute to tho election of their friend will
not ho missed. That is, by the trust.
Bat overy consumer, and especially
tho poor peopio who buy eoal by tho
basket or ton, will feel tho extortion.
Thoro aro certain expenses inci
dental to tho conduot of a campaign
which are legitimate and must be met.
When money is used only for theso
legitimate expeusos the men having
tho expenditure in charge oan mako au
accounting. But whon the sum to bo
expended is as enormous as tho amount
which will bo spent under tho direc
tion of Mark Ilauna this year, no such
aocouutiug can bo mndo, is over ex
pected or desired. It is asocrot known
only to tho men who haudlo tho
boodle, and contributors must trust to
their "honor."
A gontlemau who is familiar with
tho conduot of campaigus from a ward
election to tho strugglo for tho Presi
dency is authority for tho statement
that not ono-half of tho money con
tributed is ever exponded for tho pur
pose intended. It passes through so
many hands, the fingers of which nro
Btioky, that only a Bmall porooutago
reaches tho man who rogards voting
ns a commercial transaction.
This being tho case, it will bo seen
that tbo $10,000,000 to bo raised by
the trusts offers many •advautngos to
tbo practical politioiau. It will offer
among other things a ohauna to regain
tho money which was paid for the
Southern and Western dologates who
nominated Mr. MoKinloy iu fit. Louie.
Ton million dollars is nil enormous
enm of money. No ono appreciates
thin hotter than campaign mnuagcrn.
It is so largo that ono-half of it will
mako 100 men rich. Given tho op
portunity to spend such a sum with
out having to show vouchors or re
ceipts and tho job becomes entrancing.
Tho trust managers who raiso this
fund at the behest of Mr. Hanua will
never know what becomes of it. Per
haps they will not caro. But hun
dreds of palms are alreudv itching to
handle tho sum, and arohitoots havo
already been asked to prepare plans
for fine houses that will bo paid for
out of this fund.
It may interest tho dishonest man
agers of dishorost trusts to know that
of tho $10,000,600 which they aro ex
pected to contribute, $5,060,000 will
bo used to corrupt voters nud $5,01)0,-
000 will bo stolon. This statement is
mado on tho authority of a United
States Senator, to whom tho facts
were given by tho secret agent in
charge of Republican collections.—
Now York World,
Raima's I Tic mis Will Be the Gainers
MoKinloy reminded tho West Vir
ginia editors that they havo an incroas*
ing supply of coal oil, acil ho thinks
it ought to givo tluin an increasing
interost in protection. But ho fails
to remind them that tho profits on it
will aooruo to Hauuu's incuts iu tha
Standnrd Oil Trust.
McKiiiliq's Hal Break,
"Wo might just as well understand
that wo cannot fix by law tho wagos of
labor," said Mr. MoKinloy to Penn
sylvania workingmen on Saturday,
Wondors will never coiso. Hero is
tho father of that veteran campaigner
"protection means higher wages"—
writing its epitaph with never a sob
and never a tear I—Now York World,
Til I. \ US TO HE REMEMBERED,
Bimetallism would mean moro
money, a stable measure of valuos and
prosperity. That is tho Demoeratio
| claim. In 1805 according to Secretary
McCullough there was 82,000,000,000
in circulation in tho United States.
There was a little more than this ao
oording to the figures in Maurice
Muhloman's book "Monetary Systems
of the World." But take the Secretary
of the Treasury's figures. The popu
lation was 35,000,030. The per capi
tal circulation according to that was
about $57.
In 1890 the money in the country
was about $803,000,000, although Sec
retary Foster's report made for poli
tical effect, stated that it amountod to
$1,588,000,000. Using Secretary Fos
ter's figures the per capita was only
$24, bnt an accuruto estimate of the
money is as follows: Loss of paper
money during twenty-eight years,
850,000,000; hoarded, low estimate,
$25,000,000; National Bank roserves,
$460,000,000 ; private bank reserves,
estimated, $250,000,000; total, $785,-
000,000. Deduct that from the figures
given by Secrotary Foster and tho
balance in actual circulation will be
seen to have been but $803,000,000.
The population in 1890 was 64,000,-
000, and the per capita $12.59.
Tho word "dollar" is used to des
ignate the unit of valuo in this coun
try's currency. The single gold stan
dard has enabled the money lenders of
the world to so control tho motal that,
like any other scarce and preferred
article, its value has increased ovor
fifty per cent, sinoo 1873. Tho prioe
of silver measured in gold lias depre
ciated, but measured in the products
that are used by scientists and finan
ciers to measure its values it has main
tained its position. Gold his appre
ciated and will oontinuo to do so un
less the corner is broken by tho Dem
ocratic party on November 3. The
continuation of tho gold standard
would work an irreparable injury to
tho debtor classes in this country, tho
small merchants, workingmen, "labor
ers, and the farmers. Bimetallism
would assure a stable measuro of
values, and would give equal justice
to all classes of citizens.
Against the people in this campaign
are arrayed tho consolidated forces of
wealth and corporato power. The
olasses which havo grown fat by reason
of Federal legislation and the single
gold standard haveoombiuod to fasten
their fetters still more firmly upon tho
people and are organizing every pre
cinct of every county of every State
in the Union with this purposo in
view.—Chairman Jones of the Na
tional Demoeratio Committee.
The demonetization of silver in 1873
produced ono of the worst pauics in
tho history of tho United States.
The operation of the MeKiuley law
and the repeal of the Sherman Silver
Purohnse act in 1893 caused a panio
whose influence is Btill lolt.
The maintenance of the gold standard
means tho issue of bonds and tho ac
cumulation of an enormous debt. It
means poverty for the producing
classes and those directly dependent
upon them, the vast majority of peo
ple in the United States.
The continuation of thogold standard
means the increase in valuo of every
debt, over fifty per cent. Since 1893
the increase has been over twenty per
cent. The groat debtor class demands
justice, not repudiation.
Reckless Assertions 1' McKin'oy.
Major MoKinloy, in his speech of
acceptance, said that under the oper
ation of the Bepublioan policy of high
protection, tho country "bought
more goods at homo and sold moro
abroad" than under tho present re
duced tariff.
Ono tvonid think that a politician
occupying his present position would
bo very careful of bis statements and
sure of their correctness. Evidently
he has not done so.
Figures furnished by tho bureau of
statistics of the United States show that
for tho nine months onding on the Ist
of April lust the exports of the manu
faeturedgoedsof this country amount
ed in value to $163,187,920, being
24.57 per cent of tho entiro exports.
At the same rate for tho remaining
three mouths of tho present year, tho
exports of manufactured goods would
nmount to $208,904,907. Iu no pre
vious year had the exports of our man
ufactures amounted to so great a sum
in valuo; and it should ho borne iu
mind that on account of the reduoed
cost of suati goods (attributable in
great part to the reductions
of duties on raw materials by
the new tariff) it required a
largor bulk to mako this sum in
value. In tho fiscal year 1891 tho ox
ports of domestio manufactures were
only $168,927,315, on 19.37 per coat,
of all exports of merchandise ; iu 1892
thoy were only $168,510,937, or 15.61
per cent, ami iu 1893, $183,718,181,
or 21.24 per cent.
If the political campaign of this year
is to be "ono of education," as Re
publican loaders tell us, caro should
bo taken to have truth for its rudi
ments, not reckless assertions duo to
iguoruueo or design; and surely the
Presidential nominee of the party
should not be the principal of a school
of error or decoptiou.—Atlanta Jour
nal,
Mother — ".Mary, that young Spinners
has been paying a great deal of atten
tion to you of lute. I>o you think bo
means business?" Mary (with a far
away lookl—"I am afraid he does,
mother. He Is the agent for a bicycle
firm, anrl he has done nothing hut try
to sell me a cycle ever since lie has been
coming here."—Puck.
THE CRIME OF '73.
CONGRESS SECRETLY DEMONETIZED
THE SILVER DOLLAR,
Strong Testimony of Members of Con
gress That the Bill Was Doc
tored la Its Passage Through
tho House of Representatives,
Twenty-three years ago, by the
crafty and concealed agency of a rep
resentative of the Bank oE England, a
bill was passed by a Bepublican Con
gress, engineered steadily through by
John J. Knox, Comptroller of tbe
Currency, aud John Sherman, then, as
now, a Senator from Ohio, which hill
is known to-day throughout the
civilized world as "tho crime of '73,"
That bill demonetized about one-half
tho Constitutional money of the United
States and brought oa an Iliad of
woes.
Was it, indeed, a crime, or is the
charge a slander, such as is sometimes
uttered without justification iu the
heat of apolitical campaign? lam
not conversaut iu the language of
slander, and have prescribed for my
self an inflexible rule to make charges
against uo man derogatory to his
good name without being impelled by
n sense of public duty and ablo to
substantiate thom by ample evidence.
I repeat tho charge, that tho de
monetization of the standard silver
dollar, Constitutional money of tho
United States from 1792 to 1873, was
a crime: that the section oi the bill
demonetizing silver was seoretly in
serted without being read, printed or
discussed after the bill left the Com
mittee on Coinage. Weights and
Measures, of which Judge Kelloy, of
Pennsylvania, was Chairman, and that
the House was deceived into passing
the bill under tho belief that it pro
vided lor tho standard silver dollar,
whereas by trick, oboat aud fraud it
did not so provide.
Let us hoar tho Chairman of the
Coinage Committee, Judge Kelloy,
when afterwards charged with having
advocated tho demonetization of sil
ver. I quote from the ofHcial report
of his remarks on tho floor of tho
Honse as found in the Congressional
Itocord (Forty-fifth Congress, Beooud
session, p. 1605): "In connection with
the charge that I advocated the bill
which demonetized the standard sil
ver dollar, I say thut, though tho
Chairman of the Confmittee on Coin
age, I was as iguorant of tho fact that
it would demonetize the silver dollar,
or of its dropping the silver dollar
from our system or coins, as were
those distinguished Senators, Messrs.
Blame and Voorhees, who wore then
members of tbo House, and each of
whom, a few days siuce, interrogated
tho other: 'Did you know it was
dropped when tho bill passed? 1 'No,'
said Mr. Blaine; 'didyou?' 'No,'said
Mr. Voorhoes. Ido not think there
were three members in the House that
kuew it. I doubt whether Mr. Hooper,
who, in my absenoe from the Commit
tcu ou Coinngo and attendance ou tbo
Committco on Ways and Meaus, man
aged tbo bill, know it. I say this iu
justice to him.' "
Judge Kelloy, commonly called Pig
Iron Kelley, because of his high pro
tection views, was a man of great
ability, sterling integrity aud National
eminence. Again ou tho floor of the
House in the Forty-sixth Congress,
(Congressional Becord, first session,
p. 1231) he cleared himself of all com
plicity in the crime which had beeu
committed, and among other telltale
revelations which he made he used the
following memorable language: "All I
cau say is that the Committee ou Coin
age, Woightsand Measures,who report
ed tbo original bill, wero faithful nud
nble,and scanned its provisons closely;
that as their orgnu I rcportod it; that
it contained provisions for both tho
standard diver dollar and tho trade
dollar. Never having heard until a
long timo after its enactment iuto law
of tho substitution in tbo Senate of
the section which dropped tho standard
silver dollar, Iprofessto know nothing
of its history, but I am proparod to
say that in tbo legislation of tbis
country there is no mystery equal to
the demonetization of the silver dollar
of tho United States. I havo never
mot a man who eonld tell just how it
camo about or why."
Now, gentlemen, if you turn to the
7th volume of the Congressional
Becord (45t!i Congress, p. 581) and
will read what Congressman Bright
had to say from his seat on the floor,
you will find out how this coiossnl
crimo against tho American people
was effectuated and smuggled through
tho House of l'epresontatives.
"It passed," said Mr. Bright, "by
fraud iu tho House, never having been
printed in advance, being a substitute
for tho printed bill,never having been
read at the clerk's desk, tho reading
having been dispensed with by au im
pression that the bill mado no altera
tion in the coinage laws; it was passed
without discussion, debato boiug cut
off by operation of tbo previous ques
tion. It was passod, to my certain
in formation, under such eiroumstnnces
that the fraud escaped tho attention of
some of the most watchful, ns well as
tho nblest statesmen iu Congress at
the timo. Ay, sir, it was a fraud that
smells to heaven, a fraud for which
some person must give au account ia
tho dav of retribution "
Let mo next turn to the Senate, n 1
inquiro what was said thero about it.
Senator Allison nn aspirant for the
Presidential nomination at tho recent
Bepublican Convention in St. Louis,
declared the lull was "doctored." You
will lind his remarks as mado ia tho
Semite at p. '203 of tho Congressional
Beoord, same volumo ai 1 havo just
quoted from. "When tho secret his
tory of this Dill of 1873 eoiues to lie
told," dcolarcd Senator Allison, "it
will disclose the fact that tho Honso
ol Bopresentatives intended to coin
both gold and silver, and intended to
place both metals upou.tho French re
lution instoad *,f ou our own, which
was tho truo soioutifio position with
roforcneo to this subject iu 1873, but
that tbo bill nfterwarii was doctored,
if I must use tbe term, and 1 use it in
no offensive souse, of oourse—"
Mr, Sargont interruptod bim anil
asked him what he meant by the word
"doctored," but the good uaturedMr.
Allison perhaps, looking at tho "doc
tor" who had injeotedthe fatal potion,
the leprous distilment into the meas
ure, rather feebly responded : "1 said
I used the word in no offensive sense."
But Senator Beck, of Kentucky, was
moro outopoken. "The demonetiza
tion bill," said he (same volume of tho
Record, p. 260), "never was under
stood by either Honso of Congress. I
say that with full knowledge of the
facts. No newspaper reporter—and
they are the most vigilant men I ever
saw in obtaining information—dis
covered that it had been done."
Senator Thurman said: "I cannot
say what took place in tho House, but
t know, when the bill was pending in
tho Senate, we thought it was simply
a bill to reform the mint, regulate
coinage and fix up one thing and an
other ; and there is not a single man
in the Senate, X think, unless a mem
ber of the committee from which the
bill came, who had the slightest idea
that it was oven a squint toward do
mouetization."
This member was John Sherman.
Senator Hereford said (same volume
of tho Beoord, p. 989): "So that I
say beyond the possibility of doubt
(aud there is no disputing it) that bill
whioh demonetized silver, a9 it passed,
uevor was read, never was discussed,
and the Chairman of tho committee
who reported it, who offered the sub
stitute, said to Mr. Holman, when
inquired of, that it did not effeot the
coinage in any way whatever,"
Bopresontative Holman, the watch
dog of the Treasury, doclared "that
the measure anl the methods of its
passage through tho House was a
colossal swindle." (Congressional
Record, Forty-fourth Congress, first
session, p. 193.)
Fellow citizens, in this brief resume
of the history of the act of Congress
of February 12, 1873, which de
monetized silver, I have offered you
only the evidence of those who wit
nessed the transaction. Suoh testi
mony is not only the best for a popular
meeting, but it would be competent
in a oourt of law, as it will bo con
clusive in tho tribunal of history, that
a great crime was committed by some
person or persons against the Ameri
can peoplo by tho passage of that
nefurious act.
J. Fairfax SloLacoulis,
A Stock Claim of the bold Bugs.
One of the stock claims of the gold
bugs is that free silver would mako
the United Statos tho silver dumping
ground of the worlt.. Thero is about
88,000,000,000 actual silver in the
world, in coin and used in tho arts.
About 51,000,000,000 is in coin. How
much of that would bo taken to the
American mints? Imagine tho house
wives of Europe, Asia and tho rest of
the world gathering together their
old silver and shipping it to the
United States; and no doubt the Eu
ropean Nations would take their pilver
coin, already at par with gold, and
would Bend their supply to this
country to bo sold at the
mints for fifty-three cent dollars 1
Should this actually be done, a pre
posterous supposition, tho per capita
of the United States would run up to
over 8100 —that is, as soon as tho
mints could oatch up ; and as soon as
that happened what a desperate strait
Europe would be in. It would have
parted with its silver for fifty-throe
cent dollars; its supply of that coin,
at par with gold when sent here, would
have depreoiatedone-half in value and
tbe per capita would have depreciated
iu proportion and panicky times would
shake the monoy centres of Europe as
they had never been shaken before.
This is following to its conclusion ono
oi the absurd claims of the Ilepubli
cans and golditos. There will, under
bimetallism, never bo a fifty-three
cent dollar, at least as long as tbe
Democratic party can win elections in
the United States.
McKinley anil Business.
McKinloy is called the "advance
Jgont of prosperity," but in 1890 he
was the advance agent of disaster. Tbo
volume of business of the country in
dicates better than anything else
whether it is prosperous or not. For
the three years prior to the passage of
the McKinley bill, and for tho three
fiscal years after its passage while it
was in full operation, tho clearings of
the seveuty-one cities were as follows:
Before McKinley. | After McKinley.
1888. ~f40,841,000,000 1892.. *63.109,000.000
1889... r, 0,175.000,000 I 1808 . 54,309.010,00 I
1800 60.COO,09(i,000 I 1894 . 45,615,000,000
Inadequate as the Gorman tariff bill
was in many particulars, it stopped
any further decline, and the clear
ances last year reaohed §51,511,000,-
000.
Tho tariff of 1883 had the same ef
i'Ct upon business—unsettling it.
Tho volume of business shown lay tho
clearances before aud after it was as
follows:
Before 1883 Tariff. I After 1883 Tariff.
1880...449,591.r00.n03 18.84 . *44,200,000,900
1881.. 63.471,000,000 I 1885.. 41,474,009,000
In 1883 business had accommodated
itself to the changed conditious, and
slowly increased each year until iu
1890 it had almost reaohed tbe volutno
of 1881. Then McKinley hit it an
other blow between tho eyes that
knocked it out again.
In 1894, thanks to McTCinleyism and
the Bepublican silver inflation act,
tho business of tho country was less
than in 1881. There is no reason to
supposo that tho Bepubliean show will
come uj) to the gaudy posters o-f its
"advance agent" anv bettor in 1897
than it did in 1890. —Now York World.-
SELFISHNESS OF HANKERS,
As Described bv William J. Bryan ID
One of His Speeches.
"Whenever I find a man who tells
you not to bother about lluauoial legis
lation, I find a man who wants to take
upon himself all the suffering aud do
your thinking and ypur actiug for
you. But when X find suoh a man X
am afraid that I find a man who, when
he acts ior yoti, will be sure that he
does not forget himself. (Great laugh
ter.) There is ouo thing that I like
about the advocates of bimetallism.
Whenever yon find a man who believes
in the immediato restoration of the
free and unlimited coinage of gold and
silver at the present legal ratio of 10
to 1, without waiting for the aid or
consent of any Nation on earth, you
find a man who tells you that ho be
lieves that that polioy will be good
for himself and also behoves that it
will be good for others also. I like
that sort of candor.
"Ask a farmer why he wants bi
metallism, and he says, 'Beoause it is
good for me,' Ask a laboring man
why he wants bimetallism, and ho sa/s
that he thinks it will be good for him.
Ask a business mun why he likes bi
metallism, and ho says, 'I make my
living out of those to whom I eell, not
out of those from whom I borrow.
Therefore bimetallism is good for mo
becauso it enables people to buy what
have I to 6e11.' You ask a professional
man why ho favors bimetallism, and
he tells you it is because his business
rests on the producers of wealth, and
that he cannot prosper unless the
producers prosper.
"But you ask a banker why ho is in
favor of the gold standard, and what
will he tell you? Does he say bceanso
it is good for him? You never hear
one of them say that. [Laughter.) If
you ask thoso financiers why they
want a gold standard some of them
will tell you that the free coinage of
silver wctild be good for them, but
that they do not want anything which
would be good for thorn. They say
they want a gold standard beoause it
is good for somobody else ; that they
want it because it is good lor the
farmer, becauso it is good for the
laboring man, aud good for the busi
ness man.
"You tell them that these people are
willing to risk bimetallism, and then
theso financiers rise to tho full height
of their moral slaturo and say that the
people must have the gold standard
and that they will ram the gold stand
ard down the throats of the people,
whether they want it or not, beoause
they lovo the people. [Laughter aud
cheers.) Now, my friends, do you be
lieve this is their reason? [Shouts of
"No.") lam afraid it is not. When
I find a man who says that he wants n
thing because it is good for him I
think that ho is a pretty natural sort
of a fellow. But when I see a man who
wants to do something for mo against
my will, and tells me he is only feeling
for me, I am careful to see that ho does
not reach mo." [Laughter aud cries of
"Hit 'em again.")
T! is Is a "floaV."
Tho New York Tribune is howling
for MoKinley and urging the people
to elect him President so that tho
country oau have more protection aud
higher priees for American products.
Until recently it published tables
nearly every day, showing how nrices
had fallen sinee tho Wilson tariff law,
and it promises that if tho .Republi
cans nro successful in November the
era of low prices and cheap goods will
givo way to the good old siiff prices
and dearness brought about by the
tariff of 1890.
While thus committing its party to
tho IXarrison-JlcKinley theory that
cheapness is an evil, the Tribune tries
to keep in favor with the peoplo who
do not want to pay more for what
they buy. So in a recent issue it
trots nut tho old Btory of how the tin
plato industry has grown since 1890,
forgotting, of course, to ineution that
the output of tin plates has been greatly
increased since the AVilson law cut tho
duty on them in two. As a proof of
tho benefits of high tariffs the Tri
bune says that protection has reduced
tho pricos of .steel, the most importaut
part of tho raw material for tin plates,
and thus enabled our manufacturers
to coranoto with foreign produots.
This is a little Republican joke.
Protection reduces tho price of stool
by shutting out foreign steel with
high duties, so that the home manu
facturers can combine and chargo
higher prices.' Tho great steol trust
formod fivo months ago by nil tho lead
ing steel and iron makers of this
country, immediately ndvauoed pricos
of tho elcel billets pjod in making
plates for tinning from 15 to 21) per
cent. They were able to do this be
causo tho tariff' on foreign stool pre
vented tin plate manufaoturers from
buying in tho choapest markets and
thus put them at tho meroy of the
grasping trust. If it were not for the
protection foolishly allowed to remain
in tho Wilson tariff on iron and steel
which we can manufacture cheaper
than any other part of tho world, the
tiu plate makers would bo to-day buy
ing thoir steal platos far cheaper than
tho prevailing prices.
It is unfortunately trno that as the
lato I'. T. Barnum said : "The Amer
ican peoplo like to be humbugged."
But if tlioy can bo ioolcd by enob choap
Irioks as that of proteudiug that
beavior taxes on au artiolo makos it
cost less, they descrvo to bo plun
dered by thu monopolists who own the
Republican party.
Which End?
Perry Patettic (In the road)— Why
don't you go in? T'e dog's all right
Don't you see 111 in wnggln' his (all?
Wayworn Watson (at Ilio gate)— Yes
ami growlln' at the same-time. I
iluuno which end to belleve.-Clnc!u
uatl Enquirer.
THE MERRY SJI)E OF LIFE,
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY TB>
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.
The New Physiology—N T o Credit—No
Chance for Escape—Evidently
Condcuscd —Kepartce, Etc., Etc.
There's tho bicyclo face, anil tho bicyolo
back,
With its queer, altitudinous curve;
A.nd the bicycle tongue, in tho middle hung,
And the scorcher's bicycle nerve.
—lndianapolis Journal.
NO CHANGE FOR ESCAPE.
"Strange that Emeline never got
over her infatuation for that man."
"No, yon see ho never asked her to
marry him."—Chicago Record.
NO CREDIT.
"Yon look fright fully gloomy, Simp
kins; are you in debt?"
"No, tho trouble is I can't get a
chance to be."—Chicago Record.
EVIDENTLY CONDENSED.
Mrs. Kilduff— "Do you uso con
densed milk?"
Mrs. Mullins —"I think it must be
condensed. There is never more than
a pint and a half in a quart."—Judge.
AN EARLY INSTINCT.
Benevolent Gontleman —' 'Don't cry,
my little man ; here's a dime for you.
Now tell mo what you will do with it?"
Small Boy—"Match yer to soo if it's
two or nothm'."—Life.
THE IMPORTANT PART.
Employer—"Mr. Jones writes me
that you insulted him yesterday—"
Bill Collector—"I'll tell you just
what happened—"
Employer—"Tell me, first, if ho
paid his bill."—Puck.
THE EARLY DIRD.
"Yes," said tho business man to tho
clergyman, "I've lost a good deal of
time in my life."
"By fritting it away, I suppose?"
"No; by being punctual to my ap
pointments."—Boston Courier.
REPARTEE.
"My friend," said tho traveler,
"have you a knife about you?"
"Naw; but you'll find a fork iu tho
road yander."
"You're bright, ain't you?"
"Nnw, I'm Brown."—Atlanta Con
stitution.
ALL LOOK.
Lady (applying the test) "Ach !
what a pity ! The handsomest gentle
man iu the company has got u splash
on his waistcoat."
All the gentlemen present look down
in consternation at thoir vests.—Wost
falishes Vollrsblatt.
HOW IT HAPPENED.
Josh Medders—"How did you ketch
your cold, Jay?"
Jay Green—"A lot of usyouug peo
ple went to givo Miss Sally Smiles a
surprise party, tho other night, and
sho kor-t us standin' out in tho rain
while she curled her hair."—X'uck.
DEFORE AND AFTEP..
Evening Caller —"£ have been won
dering who thoso companion-framed
portraits are, one n beautiful young
girl, the other a wrinkled, sad-faeod
old woman."
Pretty Hostess—"Oh, that's ma,bo
fore and after marriage."—New York
Weekly.
A CANDID CONFESSION.
"I wish you would tell me," said
tho agent who had long been on Mr.
Suaggs's trail, "what is your insupor
ablo objection to insuring your life?"
"I don't mind telling you," ropliod
Suaggs. "The idea of baiug inoro
valuable alter I am dead than while I
am alivo is distasteful to inc." —Pitts-
burgh Chronicle-Telegraph.
HARD HIT.
Mildred—"Havoyou heard tho news
about Charlie Hinks and .Mabel Bux
ton."
Adelaide—"No, what is it?"
Mildred -"He's is iu love with her."
Adelaide— "How do you know?"
Mildred—"Ho worked two hours at
a Btretch last night, trying to teaoh
her mother to ride tho bicycle."—
Cleveland Leader.
HE DESERVED IT.
"Never mind brushing mo off, por
ter," said tho careful passenger on tho
sleeper, "you couldn't find a speck of
dust on my clothes." •
"Dat am so, boss, but if you ain't
no objection Pll jost go through tho
motion with my brush, kaso I must
feel dat I earnod dat quarter youso
goin* to givo me."—Detroit Free
I J ress.
TOO SEVERE A TEST.
"Pythias, old man," said Damon,
his voice trembling, "you know how
it is. I would die for you willingly—
nay, gladly. But when you ask mo
to admit that your wheel is superior
to mine, you ask more than I can
yield."
For the nonce neither of them did a
thing hut sob loudiy at the bitter ex
igencies of tho occasion.—Detroit
Tribune.
A SUFFERING BUTCHER.
"That butcher looks very sick.
What's the matter with him?" said
Hostetter MoGinni9 to Colonel With
erspoon.
"Another butcher has started a mar
ket near him, and he has got BO much
competition to deal with that ho has
had to lower his prioes."
"Buthe looks as if he was suffering
from some physical paiu."
"So he 18. His ribs, loins and oth
er parts make him feel sore."—Texus
Sifter.