Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, August 17, 1896, Image 2

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    Tho American Anti-vivisection (So
ciety has declared that hydrophobia
is a myth.
Over 2,000,000 people in tho United
States have taken out regalnr life in- '
suranoo policies, which are now in
force.
A nice old lady put SI7OO into' a
Maine Ravings bank in 1872. Tho j
other day tho administrator drew out j
$5140.02. But what good did that do ,
the nice old lady?
How much moro important Paris is
than any other French eity is shown j
by their populations. Paris has about
2,500,000 inhabitants and of the two 1
cities that come noarest her—Lyons
and •' Marseilles—neither has quite 1
500,000.
Georgia has already become tho !
peach orchard of the world. Within I
a few years tho number of poach trees !
in the Stato has grown until the orch- '
ards count their trees no longer by
hundreds and thousands but by hun
dreds of thousands.
What's one's meat poisoneth au- |
other. Because Town Clork Collins, I
of North Anson, Me., hearkened to !
Cupid's hints and eloped, other peoplo
North Anson who wish marriage
lieensos havo got to wait for a special
town meeting to name a new clerk.
One of tho leading papors of Mad
rid is authority for the statement that
Ipain has squandered no less than
$19,321,000 in her effort to subdue tho
Cubans. Siueo tho outbreak of tho i
present revoluiou she has sent upon
this fruitless errand of subjugation a ; j
many us forty generals, 502 chiefs, ,
4708 captains and lieuteuauts, 112,500
corporals and soldiers, 143 cannons, 1
150,000 rilles, 5000 bayonets, 23,000 j
cases of canister shot, 01,878,308 cart- j
ridges and 72,320 kilograms of pow
der. Notwithstanding this enormous
expenditure of money and supplies,
the cause of Spain has gained but lit
tlo advantage over that of Cuba during
tho eighteen months. "Tho Cubans
are making a bravo light," exclaims
the Atlanta Constitution,
Lady Burton's will is a curious
document. Khegavo orders that after
her death a doctor should pierce hor
heart with n needle; she was then to
be enbalmed in a curious way and
placed by tho side of hor husband in
the tent at Mortlako. She had bought
a vault, however, and left directions
that in case a revolution should break
out in England that aimed at tho
desecration of tho dead, her body and
her husbaud's shall bo placed in the
vault. Tho straugest provision, how
sver, in view of tho loyal manner in
which his wife stood by Sir ltichnrd
Burton during his tifotime, is that by
which Mr. Coote, Secretary of tho Na
tional Vigilance Society, tho English
Anthony Comstoek, is made a literary
trustee for Burton's works, and is
directed not to allow au indecent or
coarse word to be issued in connection
with the publication of his books. It
was by Mr. Cooto's advice that she
burned her husband's "Scented
Garden," fcr which she had been of
fered $30,000, and nnother work for
which SBOOO was to bo puid,
Tho number of foroign estatos ownit
ing American inheritors does not di
minish, though the inheritors nover
enter in und possess them, remarks
tho New York Tribune. They vanish
on approach like tho ond of a rain
bow showing where the pot of gold is
buried. Tho last one to turn np is
appraised at $80,000,000, and is
claimed by representatives of tho
Holt family, resident here. It dates
back about two hundred years, tho
nest egg having been laid by a Lord
Cliiof Justice of tho reigns of William
111. and Queen Anno. It lay in the
pickle vat of chancery something like
one hundred and titty years, and then
heirs-nt-lnw began to appear, but the
only thing eortuinly known of them is
that none of them ever got anything,
and nobody has yet Buoceodod in lo
cating any of tho property. (Still the
present American claimants are cer
tain it is there, and their lawyer m
sures them that tlioy havo a good case.
They will, no doubt, be called upon to
advunco some money to carry on in
vestigations, and when that is spent
they will be asked for more. tSo long
as enough is forthcoming to keep tho
cogs ond sprocl.ets of tho outing attor
ney well oiled, I IO property will con
tinue to present au alluring aspect,
but after that it will go into the
eclipso of chancery again, and roinuiu
occulted for another hundred years or
so. Perhaps another crop of fools
inuy turn up by that time ready for
another grab at the Fortuuatus
pnrso of tho old (,'Uiof Justice, and ii
so, unless things chaugo materially it
the interval, they will find plenty of
lawyers to encourage them.
LOVE'S POWER.
If I wero blind, nnil thou shouhtst enter
E'er so softly in tho room,
I should know it,
I should fool it,
Something subtle would reveal it,
And a glory round theo oontro
That would lighten up tho gloom.
And my heart would surely guide mo,
With Love's second-sight provide me,
Ono amid tho crowd to Und,
If I wero blind!
If I wero deaf, and thou hadst spoken
Ere thy presence I had known,
I should know it,
I should feel it.
Something subtlo would reveal it,
And tho seal at once bo broken
fly Love's liquid undertone.
Deaf to other, stranger voices.
And the world's discordant noises—
Whisper, whoresoo'er tliou url,
'Twill roach my heart!
—Josephiue Pollard.
A BlilDE ROSE.
lived in a little
fj I y country town.
A Such ii very littlo
} - " A j) towu that, after
c |' ; j . vuu up the
i 'ill dusty street, on !
>" ' 'which thero WAS
- u lino of low,
.£/> ' • \ p.* i-quut buildings I
• : • '•?:) bearing legends
, on their several
MSlsm wv at e r.beaten
front* of "Family Groceries," "Drug
Store," "I'ostollice" au I "General
Supplies Sold Here," why, there re
mained 110 more towu to see.
Tho rest of the old idaoejust trailed
oil into scattered buildings, sumo oc
cupied, but many falling to ruin for j
want of repair of occupancy.
But ii you went swiftly along ihe
quiet country road after awhile you
would come upon fury white cottages,
trim und iie.it, Ret in tho midst of
broad acres of cultivation; and there
would always bo space reserved for the
Bwect-iiiiielliug blooms of old-fashioned
flowers, such us country folk have
time to thru: t into the soft brown
loam.
in one of the.so white cottages she
lived. A littlo fair "old maid," as
people ctdh I her. A maidenly soul,
bo nil'-, looked out from her sweet
oy c j , and perhaps a certain gentle pre
cision iu her neat attire, au 1 an ad
licreuo • i<> ways which Miss Floribel
Hose had pruwd to bo goo !, might
have car no 1 for her tho epithet cou
sidcied RO unwelcome. But to me she
looked the very CRSOLCO of youth and
purity an I unconscious innocence.
Be all that us it may, as I started
out by saying, the lived in the coun
try, and iu a pretty cottage, with
bright green blinds and broad sur
rounding fields, and the prettiest
flower garden in the wholo village. \
Miss Floribel had a perfect passion
for "growing things," ami it was
popularly believed that should she
elect to bid the towu pump return to
its original wildwood condition there
would at once appear those litlle nibs
and nobs of green which show the be
ginning of growth.
Miss Floribel wrought no miracles,
however, suvo those needing groat pa
tience and coiiblant care. But it was a j
fact that, under her gentle care, flow- '
ers seemed to become sentient things
and appeared to develop consciences
of iiioir own, which obligated them to !
a certain amount of bud and bloom, i
in return for her ministrations.
We will peep at her as fiho walks
leisurely through the small gate which
divides tho flower from the kitchen
garden, on a balmy May morning.
She is a tiny woman—small head,
small bauds, email feet and delicate
features, with flower-liko ripples and !
lines along her gentle fairness. Her
hair is soft and brown, and waves
away from a sweet, placid forehead iu
smart, crisp little ripples, which ne
ci s itate frequent applications of Miss
Floribel's small, pink pulm in a scries
of subjugatory puts and pressures.
Her eyes are of a deep and shadowy
blue, and they look straight out into
this work-a-day world with an expres
sion of pleased : urpriso at finding it
so "good." Jler figure is all soft,
warm curves; and she has many dim
ples which come and go in all manner
of un j it • plac< . For instance,
who would evei expect to sco a little
quavering dimple set up for itself
high on the delicate bloom of an "old
maid's'' check V Very high up, sothat
when h : smiled at you, which she I
very frequently did, thero it was, a '
provoking piece of prettiness, near to |
tho sweep of tho curling lashes, and j
l ii a nest, of soil roe color, which was i
tho flush on Miss Floribel's sweet 1
cheek.
On one side tho long, deep gallery, '
or verandu, that ran all across the ;
front of the white cottage, grow n tall '
ro u bush, with loug, delicately fluted I
foliage, and buds of pure, suow-white
n gleaming in tho midst of all the
pa nness of tho bush. This rose
held a strane'e place in Miss Floribel's
life.
Twenty years ago tlicro bad goue
i from the village a gay, rollicking lad,
with a reckless record hack of him,
and all sorts of possibilities fronting
I him. lie was beautiful to begin with,
with tho beauty of slim, graceful
linos, high-spirited and clear-cut
1 features, und deep and rich coloring.
i£o was gifted; learning all that the
crabbed old scholar who taught the
! village school could teach him, in the
| time in which other lads had just bo
i gnu to comprehend ; uud assimilating
all of outsido information that came
his way. fie was a favorite with all
who knew him, as much lor his lonely,
| solitary existence as lor his charm of
person and manner.
About his mother had clustered tho
villago romance. Au uudutiful daugh
ter—a runaway marriage—and the iu
jvitubio sequel; tha return to tho
stately mansion which had been her
childhood's homo, with doath 01 her
young brow, despair iu her broken
heart, and a Ron in her poor frail
arms, to hold up as peace offering to
her only parent left, hor stern old
father. The mother died during the
first year of her daughter's abseuce.
But Leonard d'Orvillo (which was
the boy's solo inheritance from a
worthless father—a high-sounding
name), was "inclined to bo wild," and
these inclinations had been crystal
lized into sot forms of as much callow
wickedness as 'ho sleepy old village
| could furnish, by the undue severity
:of his grandfather. So the time oamo
| when Leonard flung on his back a
, parcel containing achauge of clothing,
I his little savings bank, his mother's
| picture and a bundle of notes written
i in a girlish hand, with, among them,
! a long tress of rippling brown hair
cut from his sweetheart's head. Bid
ding his implacable enemy (and
grandfather) a merry goodby, ho took
I lis way alosg tho highway whereon
travel sot its tide cityward.
But before leaving, hospontan hour 1
beside a brook which chattered away j
in the rear of Dame Hose's kitchen j
garden. Nor was ho alone ; for n fair- I
haired girl with long and rippling j
curls sat near him, and their hands j
were closely clasped, and more than 1
once, as tho lad's eyes darkened with
tho overpowering forethought of the
coining years and their loneliness, the
tender heart of his compunion would
prompt her to lean still nearer and
meet, and return—tho kiss ho turned
to give. And as they passed through
the garden in tho brooding twilight,
the pule buds of arose, newly flowered,
caught Leonard's eyes. Plucking one,
ho held it against tho flowing sweep
of the girl's soft hair, looking dream
ily at tho pure curve of tho check,
turned to hide the brimming eyes; at
tho tip of tho small ear that pooped !
from tho abundant curls, and at the 1
fair bud gleaming like a star against
tho brown waves. Then his voice
deepened to manhood's earnestness, J
as he whispered:
"Some day, Floribel, my sweet
Foribel, I'll send you a bunch of these
paie roses, and then I'll follow soon — J
soon enough for them to be still fresh
for our we iding."
Tho lad had a world of latent ro
manee in his heart, and it all welled j
out in his love for this sweetheart of
his boyish days.
"And J," Fluribol had whispered,
"will never wear u bride rose until
you come to me."
".Swear it, Floribel, swear it!" and
110 would not leave her until her gen- ;
tie eyes wero lilted and her rose-red j
lips vowed to wear no Ividal flu , ■
save at her wedding with hor lover,
Leonard.
And year after year, as tho girl saw
tho thriving rose tree begin to bud,
would her innocent thoughts cluster
about the possibilities that her imme
diate future might hold. And year
after year tho spring passed by and
summer came and went, and there was
uo break in the quiet monotony of her
secluded lifo. Time, tho merciful,
had smoothed away those graven linos
of remembrance, and her lifo began to
bo filled with other interests, and the
memory of hor boyish love remained
only au evanescent odor, that came
and went with the flowering of these
long, pearly buds that grow beside tho
cottage door.
Waves of tho doing of tho great 1
dames of fashion and of form had even
widened their circle to take iu the
modest cluster of houses and the one
stroet of public shops called Roscdalc
(after Miss Floribel's lather), and the
"Society for tho Comfort of tho Poor" ;
had for many years been a thriving ,
institution, with Miss Floribel for I
President. As spring came in, huge j
crates of flower would leave tho near
est station as contributions from conn
try to city, sent directly to a sister j
society lor distribution by the mom- :
bors.
Into this part of her useful lifo Miss j
Floribel had conceived to weave tho
memory of her early romance. First,
I must tell you that beyond a few
floating rumors as to his whereabouts
110 word had ever camo to her, over
the weary years, of the lad who had
promised such fealty. But each year
there would go from the hand of the
lonely woman a little token of rem em- |
brauce. In the packing of tho bios- :
sonis, ov3r which Miss Floribel always '
presided, there would go to the fairest I
and most perfect of tho buds of the '
bride roso tree, bearing a tiny slip 0! i
; paper, itisoribod, "In memory of j
j Leonard." A hurmless bit of romance, :
. indulged in secretly by a woman whose j
I heart was as pure as tho bud she |
1 touched. At first, tears wero tho dew j
;of tho blossom; but now the deed was 1
only done fts au act of gentle remom-
I brauce, as wo lay a flower upon the
! sod that yours have won to ripened
1 greoauess.
j Tho hospital wards wero full, but
1 the iu'orost had so centred about tho
pretty pallid child, lying patiently on
hor pillow, awaiting the coming of tho
surgeon, that a crowd of nurses and
attendants stood near, waiting to an
ticipate her slightest wish. Through
tho long "aisles of pain" had fluttered
a bevy of bright-faced, sweet-voiced
women, and tho wholo atmosphere
; bore witness of their gentle miuistra
| tions, for on each pillow there lay a
blossom fresh and fair, nud by ouch
cot there stood u bunch of flowers,
uomu raro, all beautiful.
It really scorned by a process of
"fitness" that tho bud which lay with
in reach of tho littlo wasted baud,
resting so quietly 011 tho quiet breast,
was as fair as a pearl, and it soomur!,
us did tho child, an emblem of purity
and peace.
Tho day had been sot for an opera
tion, to perform which a celebrated sur
geon was coming from u distance. Tho
operation was to bo done 111 tho inter
ests of science; hence the cost had not
1 been a matter of consideration; other
wise the child, being a daughter of tip.
poor, would bava exhaled her life away
in prolonged and unrelieved tor lure.
At last they essayed to lift tbo light
form and bear it to tko operating
room. Gcntlo bauds wero about her,
l>ut she murmured, and ouo leaned
down to listen : %
"My rose bud ! My beautiful flower 1
May I not curry it with me?"
Aud she smiled contentedly an lier
small, fevered hand clasped tho long,
llcxilo stem.
Beside the long table in the brill
iantly lighted room stood several
men, one, mndo prominent by the
lofty grace of his bearing aud tho
grave beauty of bis thoughtful face.
This was tho surgeon who had con
sented to come from a distance that a
mysterious ailment might bo pene
trated and its causes laid bare.
llow tenderly ho leaned over tho
small, palo face ere yet tho amoatketio
! had been administered ; how deep aud
! thrilling the tones of his voico as ho
spoke words of encouragement to the
sufferer. Stooping in the presence of
tho assembled students aud bearded
j men of the residout medical faculty,
; lie laid his lips in a light kiss on the
I fair forehead of tho child. As ho
leaned above her his eye caught the
gleam of tho pearly-potalcd bud that
lay upon the childish breast. And did
he start, or was it a flicker of one of
tho myriad lights? Very gently ho
lifted the bud, his hand encountering
a strip of paper tied about tho long
stem as he did so; and, turning, ho
laid it down with tho gloves, which
ho had doffed upon entering tho hall.
All was over, and well over. Tho
child had rallied, aud was sleeping
quietly. Beside licr watohed skilled
| nurses, and within reach of her wak
■ iug hand stood a great bowl of choice t
bloom, but the creamy bud \vu3 gouu.
These had cuino in its stead.
' Alone in tho room assigned him in
; tho hotel sits tho surgeon. Xu a vase
be ore him droops the palo bud, aud
| tho delicate fragrauco from its heart
seems to mount to his brain, for ho
rises from his chair, to paco with rest
less feet tho narrow room. Ho holds
in his hand a slip of paper, and a
thousand timos has ho read aud reread
j its simple legend, "in memory of
hoouord."
; Was tho tale, tattle 1 to him by en
vious tongues, of a desolate homo, a
ruined and blighted life, misplaced
and too ardent affections, a lie? And
have his feet trodden the weary round
of endless search after forgetfulnoss,
only to return and ihulhimself the one
; in error, and his little love still faith
j fill to a childish dream?
; Leonard d'Orville, the man, was
almost ns much a creature of impulse
as ever was Leonard d'Orville, tho
boy.
Rising swiftly to his foot, with a look
j of resolution on bis dark face, ho goes
j out iuto tho night. Lu a box of long,
palo buds, buried deep iu their
emerald foliage, he places a letter, and
it roads:
Floribol—l have trodden tho whole of earth
to 11ml forget fulness, only to leuru that I
have fled from the cup of happiness that
waited near my lips. Your message and your
rose bud have found me. Hero are our
bridal roses. If you bad been the wife of
another your little messenger would uovor
have left your loyal hand. I will wait hero.
If you do not desire mo to come to you, a
word will banish me. If I hoar nothing, and
a weary time it will scorn, within the next
four days, 1 shall know that you aro willing
; I should come. Should your heart call out
. across the years, as does mv own, send but a
word, a bud from our bride rose tree, and
tho mission of a flower could come to no
sadder heart or lonelier life! I lovo you,
dear. I have always lovo i you. I have
tried to become the man on whom you could
bestow tho priceless troa-uro of yoursolf!
God bless you—whether I am to !>••. or not,
your own LEON AUD.
And Floribol HOBO became Floribol
| d'Orviilo; and, at their marriage,
i above thorn swayed to and fro a canopy
1 of pale, cmorald foliage, with hero aucl
I there an oval bud of purest white.
! For there wero but few buds left when
i Miss Floribol leaned to pluck the ono
i she sent to tho city in answer to Leon
ard's lovo letter, for most of them had
gone to comfort the flick au I the sor
rowful ones of earth. —New Orleans
Times-Democrat.
A Winged Foe of Ounil*.
! A bird tlmt has gained for itself tho
fame of being the most proficient game
i destroyer in tho northern part of Illi
: nois is tho cooper's hawk. It is es
| pecially destructive to quails. An old
| accusation is brought against tho
' cooper's hawk. It is alleged that it
I rushes at a bevy of quails with such
i fierceness that tho scared birds leap
| into tho air and dash themselves
i against trees or other objects. in
I tbis way tho cooper's hawk is said to
| cause tho death of a good many more
1 quails than it actually killr.
j Breeding from Newfoundland to
Mexico and wintering south of Massa
chusetts, as it does, tho cooper's hawk
ns a species feeds on a variety of kinds
of game—poultry and game birds,
song birds, and frogs, lizards, and in
! sects, besides sundry mammals and an
occasionll snake. Once in a while it
takes great risks to get its food. Coop
' cr's hawks, us well as other kinds,
j sometimes capture tho killed or wound
ed victim of a gunner.
Death From Fright,
' A remarkable caso of death from
: t' ht was that of tho Dutch paiutur
| Poutuiau. 110 was at work in his
studio, v/hero there wore a number of
' death's heads and skeletons, when ho
! happened to fall asleep. During his
i sleep there was a slight shock of earth
j quake, and when he woke up suddenly
j ho saw the skeletons aud skulls dano
; ing arounu in tho greatest coufusion.
■ ' He at once became panic-stricken, and
rushed across tho room and throw him
self out of the window onto tho puve
- ment below. Ho died a few days af
• tor, not from injuries roccivod in tho
fall, but from tho nervous shock given
by the dancing skeletons, though tho
cause of their feftivity, explained
, him. —Black and White.
KING OF THE MISSISSIPPI.
INCIDENTS IN THE LIFE OF THE
MOST FAMOUS RIVER CAPTAIN..
His Groat Race In the Natchez With
tho Robert K. Lee—Close Work in
Fog Bank.
OLD PUSH is no more. Another
of tho picturesque figures of
American life is gone. For
fifty years ho was a famous
character, and men wero proud to call
him friend. Captain Thomas P.
Leathers was king on the Mississippi
Diver. His name was known far aucl
wide, but familiarly ho was called "Old
Push" because of his admiration for
Push-ma-ta-ha, tho Indian chief.
Leathers was intimately associated
with the river's greatest glory in the
good old days when tho steamboats
! that plied the stream wero floating
palaces, when the rich planters, their
wives aud daughters traveled by water
and when tho professional gambler
: thrived on the passengers.
Captain Leathers commanded tho
Natchez in her historic race with tho
Robert E. Loe, a race which was
watched with interest all over this
country and Europe. Captain Leath
ers had tho Natchez No. G built on
plans of his own. Sho could carry
5500 bales of cotton and was a magnif
icent boat. When she was finished
at Cincinnati discussion ran high as to
whether tho boat was not the fastest
iu the world, and the heat of this con
troversy resulted iu tho greatest race
tho world has known, challenging the
excited interest of both tho New and
tho Old World. It happened in Juno
of 1870, tho stretch being from New
Orleans to St. Louis.
Two things precipitated tho con
; test, though Captaiu Louthors had al
ways protested that us far as ho was
I concerned Lto was not racing, aud cir
-1 ouinstauces point strongly to tho cor
rectness of this statement. On Juno
21. of tho year in question, Captaiu
Leathers, arriving on his Natchez iu
( lit. Louis, wired Captain Perry Thorp
that ho had mudo the trip to St. Louis,
a ilistanco of 1278 miles, iu three days
tweuty-one hours and fifty-eight min
utes, thus smashing the record. Tito
announcement stirred up tho greatest
excitement among the partisans of the
other fast boats, among which ranked
foremost tho Robert E. Lee, com
manded by Captain John W. Cannon.
He determined to beat this record,
and to that end stripped his boat of
all lier doors and windows, to avoid
i the wind's resistance, and declined to
: receive any cargo or passengers. The
steamboat Frank Pargotid wan des
patched ahead to warn tho coaling
! barges that tho Loo would need coal
; with as little delay as possible, and
I every precaution was taken for the
I uwii'tost possible journey.
(Xu June 80 tho Leo backed out from
tho New Orleans wharf, and five min
utes later the Natchez, which had
shoved up her date of departure,
backed out with her own cargo, sup
plemented with that tlio Leo was to
carry, and the lice's passengers as
weil. Along the river thousands of
people gathered to watch the exoiliug
race, and when the boats passed Mem
phis lb,ooo people eollooted to watch
them pass. The whole country and
Europe were kept, posted 011 the prog
ress of the race, and huudredsof thou
sands, maybo millions, of dollars
changed hands on its result. The Leo
gained slightly every 1 Oil miles, the
gam amounting to ten minutes in the i
lirst 300 miles, hut the Natchez made j
all her landings, aud did not havo the
coaling advantages enjoyed by the
Leo. The Natchez was caught in the
fog after passing Cairo, and run ashore,
; the lice making St Louis in three
nays eighteen hours and fourteen min
utes.
Captain Leathers took all the Lee'.; 1
freight and passengers, and from that
■ one trip paid more than §SOOO on his
I boat. So, although ho lost tho race,
he found it very profitable.
Leathers was a line man physically,
and had a rugged constitution. Had
j it not been for an accident he would
probably havo lived much longor. On
the day after he was eighty years old
! it bicycler riding rapidly through tho
! streets of New Orleans struck the Cap
i tain and so serioui'y injured him |
i that he lived only u lew weeks.
1 The career of this foremost man of
tho river would 111 I several volumes
with interesting incidents. It is pos-
I bible that no Captain ever cherished a
j higher regard for tho responsibilities
j of bis post, or held in higher esteem
the men of his calling who possessed
distinguished merit in this respect. A
1 little incident which the Captain never
I tired of narrating, andwhichslrikiug
j Jy illustrates this point, imbedded for-
I ever in his heart the late distinguished
i Captain Swan. Captain Sivun was 0110
! night plowing down the river on tho
' steamer White (the lirst o.e), which
. ho commanded, unit Captain Leathers
I was beating up stream. It was foggy
I and lute, hut it was not 0110 of the
j eort of fogs which appeared to ho
| general in its nature. Both Captain;
I were convinced that in a short while
j they would oniergo from tho murky
district, aud tin y gave orders I o steam j
1 ahead a little briskly. In his unrra
| live ot tho thrilling event Captain
Leathers said tho log reached just a
little above tho hurricane deck aud
j was quite dense to tho water's surface.
' He felt uneasy aud had remained up.
| His boat was (illed with Houls aud
j tiioy were all arleep. He was kicking
one of the big iujun's rod smoke
i stacks uud lolling ahead, when the
I mighty chimneys of another boat bore
down upon him a few paces ahead.
| He shoutod to the pilot to hack both
sides strong, und at tho moment lie
I hoard on tho other steamer 111 heavy,
1 hoarse, stentorian tones: "ilapk her
| —by tho Lord Harry, bapk her
| strong 1" Both boats trembled* under
t.lio enormous resistance suddenly ap
, plied, and they boro doivu id* each
' other from the stress of their provi
ous momentum until their noses ail
but kissed. Had tho paddles per
formed on •either boat ono or two
more revolutions both would have
been shattered into a million splin
ters. As the boats came to a halt,
and then began slowly to back away,
their respective Captains, who had
boon watching their noses and scarcely
breathing, looked up and beheld each
other.
"Swan!"
"Leathers! By tho Lord Harry,
hal that been any ono elso we would
bo swimming now, Leathers 1"*
And possibly as tho fog cleured and
tho steamers plowed on their respec
tive journeys, several hundred souls
slumbering, all unconscious of tho im
minence of tho death that had just
threatened them, two Captains sat iu
their respective cabins and thought of
tho other with such sentiments us only
such an occasion could inspire.—At
lanta Constitution.
Musical Snoring.
"Tho most musical people I over
mot," said the fertilizing ageut, "was
a family up in Loudoun County. I
was up there last fall and stayed with
them ono night. Dinner was on tho
table when I arrived, and as I had
business with the old gculleman, a
seat was provided for me. Bight there
something seemed to bo wrong with
tho people. It puzzled mo for some
time, and then I discovered that they
were keeping time to au imaginary
tnue. When tho youngest child forked
a picklo it did it in a two-four move
ment, you kuow, and they all swayed
and worked their jaws to a waltz
measure.
"When the meal was finished the
men folks sat on tho porch, uml every
one of the 111 grabbed a musical instru
ment on tho way out and began to
tuna it. Tho concert continued until
a lata hour. At 11 o'clock I went to
my room, and I could hear tho family
ohasseing into their bods, where they
whistlol an.l hummed themselves to
sleep. Then it was quiet for a lime.
"Tho night was still, hut I couldn't
sleep, and as I looked out through tho
window toward tho Ohio ltidge, with
tho moonlight shining on it, the i
daughter began to suoro in fifth:-', key
of 0. Tho pitch was perfect and tho
tone clear. I became accustomed to
tho freak at leugth. Then the old wo
man fetarlod up her exhibition of
snores. Her specialty was running
the scale of B Hat very i'a-t up and
down at intervals of about three min
utes. She could make one and a half
octavo:;, as close as 1 could gauge it.
"I'ho masterpiece of the evening,
though, was executed by the old man
and throe boys, who slept in tho room
below me* One of tliem started iu
with a good, long snore, ami tho oth
ers took their notes from bun. Alter
a proludo by what you would call the
tenor, they got away iu a bunch, and
I'll Im blamed if they didn't snore
There's a Lam I That is Fairer Than
Day.' The old man's bass was ro
m irkablo, and the way iu which liio
notes blended and rose and sank to
gether was wonderful. I secured sev
eral hours'sleep on top of the wood
shed outside my window," concluded
the man, who represented himself to
bo a Christian Endeavor delegate. —
Washington Star.
African Bras.-; lire;.
In a recent number of Science
Progress Mr. i-leut t-Elliott tolis bow
African grass fires chuugo tho aspect
of tho vegetation of the region. Theso
annual lirc:i proveut. tlin accumulation
of leaf mould that would improve the
soil. One curious effect of the annual
lires is to cau.:o many herbaceous
plants to send up bare stem s except
for tho llower.s o'lou several feet in
height, immediately after the lirst
shower of the rainy season, the sterna
only beginning to hear leaves after
j the'rain - have well set iu. Tho flow
ering time of many trees, shrubs and
herbs is entirely changed. Another
curious fact is the manner in which
certain trees manage to protect them
selves against, tho fires. The most re
murk able of these are trcn Euphorbias,
which come out of tho Arcs with ap
parently no injury, exec;it, perchance,
a low slightly charred branches. Mr.
Scott-Elliott procured the barks of
several kinds that withstand tuo Dory
! ordeal, and an examination :' thorn
; by Professor Farmer shows that they
all have a certain amount of gummy
degeneration of tho bark cells, togeth
er with no inconsiderable amount of
sclerotic cells. Professor Farmer con
cludes that "it seems not impossible
that these two facts may bo connect
ed with the resistance of tho plants to
the lire."
A New .Sidewalk (hi;ue.
A new game has been originated by
the little girls of Brooklyn which
throws all tho other sports of its kind
into the shade. It is called "Playing
Statue," and is all the rage. A uuin
ber of lashes get to.etln r, and, tak
iug their staud on the sidewalk, pro
ceed to pose in tragic or comic atti
tudes, according to tho program mo
called out to them by tho little stage
manager. This important ofuciul oc
cupies a position on a neighboring
doorstep. Tho Lelsarto craze is prob
ably responsible for this new juvenile
game, and tlio damsels who have boon
acquiring poses as great ex pen li* u:• >
of ducats aud musclo will have to loox
to their laurels, us their small rivals
imitate thorn to perfection, -ionic big
girl's littlu sister is, no -doubt, re
sponsible for this charming sidewalk
novelty. —Pittsburg Dispatch.
The Poison id' Fatigue.
Experiment have shown that fatigue
caus H u chemical change in the blood,
! resulting iu tile production of a poison
i resembling tho curare poison, which
J certain savage tribes use for arrows.
| Arrow poison, however, is of vu£ctablo
origin. When tho blood of a tire.l
animal is injected into tho ar.' !• n
a fresh one, the l itter cxuibits all the
symptoms of fatigue.
BLOWS.
Tho giant powdor in tho blast
Is blowing up tho bouldors;
The maiden with pneumatic sleeves
Is blowing up her shoulders.
Tho baker to tho kitchen maid
Is blowing up his crumpet*; -
Tho milkman in tho lower hall
Is blowing up tho trumpets.
Tho gontlo zephyr from tho South
Is blowing tho narcissus;
Tho cook who thinks sho knows it all
Is blowing up the "missus."
Tho fatlior, down upon hi 3 knees,
Is blowing up tho ilros;
Tho daughter in lior bloomer suit,
Is blowing up tho tiros.
—Yonkors Slutosrn.au.
IIU.UOK OF THE DAY.
Tlaudsomo is as huudsomo docs, and
haudsomo often does as haudsomo
pleases.
We may not bo ablo to teach an old
dog new tricks, but lots ot us learn a
great deal whilo trying.—Puck.
" 'T is better to laugh than bo sighing"
Iu poetry sounds very nice;
But laughing will not pay tho coalman
And so it won't cut any iao.
Don't let your troubles blind you to
tho fact that your neighbor's sym
pathy is two-thirds curiosity.—Atchi
son Globe.
Tho wealth of our language is shown
by tho fact that "hang it up" and
"chalk it down" mean precisely tho
same thing.
Miss Huggins—"My father is very
good at reading faces." Air. Kissam—
"Then I hal better not print any
kisses there."
"One swallow may not nuiko a sura
mor," but it may have occurred to von
that one grasshopper makes more than
a dozen springs.
The more delighted a girl is when a
youug man calls on her, the longer
she stays up stairs to primp up before
she comes down.—Tho South-West.
A man doesn't fully realize the re
sponsibilities of life until lie is called
upon to a can of salmon with a
pair of scissors.—Tho South-West.
Doctor—"lf you bind salt pork on
your face it will cure tho toothache."
Patient "But, doctor, won't it give
me pork chopsV"-—Detroit Free Pros?.
As to some of our statesmen, it is
doubtful whether they lack tho cour
age of their opinions, or tho courage
to admit that they haven't any
opinions.—Puck.
Jim Bonn—"Why do they call
money tho 'long greenV" Joe Cose
"Negatively, I suppos.-; bee ius-j
without it you are short and blue."- -
Philadelphia North American.
Proprietor—"Whore is tho book
keeper?" Office Boy—"Ho isn't in.
J lis wife scut him word that the baby
was asleep, and he's gono home to boo
what it looks like," —Standard.
"Where are you going, my pretty
maid?" "Going a-walking, kind sir,"
she said. "May I go with you, my
pretty maid?'' "I don't walk with a
stick, kind sir," she said. Wrinkle.
Hoax—"What! You buying a bi
cycle? I thought you detested them.
Joax—"Bo I do, but I've been run
over long enough. Now I'm goiug to
have my revenge." Philadelphia
Record.
Ho—"When I am married I'll mako
a practice of coming down to dinner
overy evening in a dress suit." Sho—
"Aud after you've been married awhile,
I've no doubt, you'Jl conic down to
breakfast iu one."—Truth.
Invention Enthusiast —"I under
stand that Keely has constructed a
cylinder that will stand a prossuro of
3500 pounds to the square inch."
Pretty Girl (who hasn't been hugged
for a year) "Ilulil I don't think
that's much." —New York Weekly.
"Your son, I believe, made some
experiments while at college?" "Yes,
ho discovered what ho calls bis 'scien
tific paradox.' " "What is the nature
of it?" "Ho succeeded in demon
strating that debts are expanded by
contracting them." Washington
Times.
President Fiox—"But your account
is already overdrawn, bj I don't see
how wo can honor yofir further de
mands." Sho—"But I too lots of
people depositing; why can't you give
1110 some of theirs? They've already
paid in much more than l'vo drawn
out."—Standard.
Sho Caught Hi iu.
A young married woman was look
ing at a vacant house on Pacific ave
nue tho otlier day with a view to rent
ing, when she heard u noise iu ono of
tho upper rooms. Sho \\;cit up to see
what it was, and was almost fciiro that
she saw a man dodge into a closet and
close tho door after him. Her first im
pulse was to run and scream, but see
ing the key in Hie door she walked
slowly across the room and turned the
key. Then blic ran for a policeman.
It was in the morning and she could
find none, so went homo to lunch and
forgot all about her prisoner till cvon
iug. Then she bunted up an officer
and went to the house.
When the closet door was opened
tho half suffocated owner of the house
tumbled out. Ho had gone to tho
ncuse to do some little chores, and
was changing his clothes when his
toilet was interrupted by the young
lady's unexpected appearance, and he
was forced to ho ok a refuge in thu
closet.—Sau Francisco Post.
| This Little Girl Eats Iran.
1 .Tames Gardner, a worker in tho
j iron mines at Bes-omer, .\lieh\, has a
; three-year-old daughter who has an
; quired a taste for iron ore, which she
eats with avidity. When kept from
the mines she scpapes her father's
shoes and eats tho scrapings with rel
ish. Doctors do not uu lerstan I the
case. Despite h r 'r - • o diet the
is healthy and Lright,