It appears that seventy-five per cent, of English chimney-sweeperß die in the workhouse. Socially the Siamese are undoubtedly advancing. There aro now a number of men of good position whoso wives accompany them in public, driving to entertainments, aud 60 forth. The Medical Society of Berne* Switzerland, has inaugurated a plan for the suppression of press notices of enicides, as it has been observed that epidemics of suicides, so called, come from "suggestion," acquired through printed accounts of them. Spurgeon's sermons aro among the great literary successes of tho century. The Westminster Gazettee says that 2396 of theso sermons have been printed and sold, and that tho sum total of the sales reaches nearly 100,- 000,000, an average of about 35,000 copies per sermon. A mint is about to be established at Nanking for silver and copper coinage, making two mints for the Chineso Empire, the other being at Canton. The common monetary unit of China is a copper "oash," of which between 1600 and 1700 mnko one tael and twenty-two make one penny. There are in the neighborhood ol 100 big office buildings in New York City, employing about 3500 men nnd women, and paying out about $200,- 000 a month in wages. In the very largest buildiDgs a superintendent hires the help and rents tho offices, but in the majority of cases these dnties are divided between the owner, real estate agent and janitor. And the janitor is the most important man of the trio. There are forty-eight thousand artists in Paris, more than half o! whom are painters. We wonder how many of there realize tho far-reaching moral offeots for good or evil of which the products of chisel, pencil or brush are capable? muses tho New York Ob server. It is to be feared that artista frequently fail to tako any serious thought as to the ethics of art. And there appears to ho some foundation for the witticism in which n German paper has recently indulged to the of feot that the secret of success in modern art is to be crazy in an origin •l way. The 1,411,000 square miles of Can-' ndian territory previously unnamed has been divided and named and ap- 1 pears on the new official mop duly labeled. The new districts are as fol lows : Ungava, which includes all tho ' district between Hudson's Bay and tho Arctic Ocean, with the exception of the narrow coast lino of Habrador. Franklin, tho groat group of islands north of Hudson's Straits and lying betweon the sixtieth and 125 th degree of west longitude. West of this again is Mackenzie, taking in tho mainland country between the northern limit of Athabaska and tho Arctic Sea, and being between tho 100 th meridian of longitude and a line about 500 milos west and parallel with tho Mackenzie River. Yukon includes tho district inclosed between the latter line and the northern boundary of British Columbia, the eastern boundary of Alaska and tho Arctic Ocean. Ungava is almost as extensivo as British Columbia, and Mackenzie is largei than British Columbia and Quebec combined. Of tho remaining districts, each is bigger than Ontario. Tho New York Post eays: "Pew newspapers in tho South mourn the abandonment of the proposed South ern States Exposition in Chicago. In a few quarters tho attempt is made to ascribe tho failure of the enterprise to the rivalry of the Tennessee Centen nial Exposition, to bo held in Nash ville. But tho truth of tho matter is that the people of tho South took lit tle interest in the affair, and outsido of some 'drumming' in the Atlantic Coast States, little atteution wa3 paid to it in the columns of tho newspapers or elsewhere. It was evident from this apathy in tho South that the ex position would not be a success, and for this reason it was abandoned. One North Carolina paper says of it: 'The underlying idea was never a very prac tical one. It was to divert the cotton goods trade of the South from the North and East to the West. The laws of trade are inexorable. The North and tho East are the South'* natural customers ; tho South and the West are both agricultural section* and are competitors. The business men nevor took hold of this Chicago Southern States movement. There never seemed to them to bo anything in it.' This quotation may bo ac cepted as a fair illustration of feeling at the South over the attempt to fore* trade, through an unnatural channel, to Chioago.'* A LITTLE LOVE SONG. Thi>re is never a blossom that blooms for Love's bosom As sweet as my blossom—my sweet! Aud not in God's skies auy stars like her eyes- Like the eyes of my blossom—my sweet! Like her beautiful eyes, of tho rainbow's lieh dyes, With tho blue and tbo dew of God's infinite skies! She is wonderful sweet, she is wonderful wise— My beautiful blossom, my sweet! And not for the queens of tho loveliest lands Would I give her—my blossom, my sweet! Not a kiss of her lips, not a clasp of her hands For tho loveliest lady you'd meet! For tho loveliest maid in whoso honor a blade Hath flushed whore tho battle made foomon afraid; Her lips to my own! May God's tempests bo stayed For my blossom—my blossom, my sweet' —F. L. Stanton. THE MADNESS OF SIIERE BAHADUR, BY S. LKVKTT YATES. rf HE Mahout's sir.",ll sou, engaged with an equally small friend in tbo pleus nnt occupation of stringing into gar lands the thick yel low and white champac blossoms that strewed the ground, under the broad leaved tree near tho leutena hedge, was startled by an angry trumpet, and looked in the direction of Shere Baha dur. "He is must," said one to the other in an awe-struck whisper; and then, a sudden terror Be'zing them, they bounded like little brown ape?, silently and swiftly into a gap in the hedge and vanished. There were 100 evil desires hissing in Shero Bahadur's henrt, as he swayed to and fro under tho huge peepnl tree to which ho was chained. Indignity upon indiguity had been heaped upon him. It was a mere accident that Aladin, tho maliout who had attended him for twenty years, was dead. How on earth was Shore Bahadur to know that his skull wa3 so thin? Ho had merely tapped it with his trunk in a moment of petulance, and the head of Aladin had crackled in like the shell of an egg. Shero Bahadur was re duced to tho ranks. For weeks he had to carry tho fodder supply of tho Maharaj's stables, like an ordinary beast of burden ; and nlow-casto slave, a fool to boot, had been put to attend on him. It was not to be borne. Shero Bahadur clanked his chains angrily, and. ever and anon, flung whisps of straw, twigs and dust on his broad back and mottled forehead. He, a ICemeriah, of Kemeriahß, to be treated thus! Ho was no longer tho stately beast that bore tho yellow-aud silver howdah of the Maharaj Adhiruj in solemn prooossion—who put aside, with a gentle sweop of his trunk, the children who crowded tho narrow streets of Kolesar. No ; it was differ ent now. He was a felon and au out oast, bound like n thief. Something had given way in his brain, and Shore Bahadur was mud. The flies hovered an tho soro part over his left ear, j where tho long peak of tho driving- I iron had burrowed in, and, with a trumpet of rage, tho elephant blew a j iloud of dnstinto the air, and strained himself backward. Click! Clicit! Tho cast-iron links of the big chain that bound him snapped, and Shere Bahadur was free. He cautiously moved his pillar-like legs backwards and forwards to satis fy himself of tho fact, and then, with tho broad fans of his ears spread out, stood for a moment still as a stone. High up amongst the loaves the green pigeons whistled softly to each other, and a gray squirrel was engaged in hot dispute with a bluejay over treas ure trove, found in a hollow of one of tho long branches that, python-like, twined and twisted overhead. Far away, tier upon tier of purple hills rose, and beyond thorn a white line of snow-capped peaks stood out against tho sapphire of the sky. Hathni Khund was there, the deep pool of Jumna, where, thirty years before, Shore B&dadnr had splashed aud iwum. It was there that ho fought ind defeated tho hoary tusker of tho herd—tho one tusked giant who had bullied and tyranized over his tribe 'or time beyond Shere Bahadur's neraory. Perhaps a thought of that big light stirred him; perhaps tho breezo jrought him tho sweet scent of tho fouug grass in tho glens. At any rate, with a quick, impatient flap of uis ears, Shere Bahadur turned and faced tbe hills. As ho did so his twinkling rod eyes caught sight of the Kalesar state troops, on their parade ground, barely a quarter of a mile from where ho stood. The fat littlo Maharaj was there, standing near the Fainting point. CJlose to him was the Vizier, with the oourt; and last, but not least, a know ing littlo fox terrior dug up the earth with his fore paws, scattering it about, regardless of the august presence. The Maharaj was proud of hiR troop?* He had raised them himself in an outburst of loyalty, the day af ter a birthday gazette, in which His Highnoss Sri Ranabir Pertab Sing, Maharaj Adhiraj of Kalosar, had been Admitted a companion of an exalted order. The Star of India glittered 011 tho podgy littlo prince. Ho was Iroaming of a glorious day when ho he himself —would lead tho victorious lovy through Khyber, first in tho field against tho Buss, when a murmur that swolled to a cry of fear rose from the ranks, and the troops melted away be fore their king. Rifles and accouter ments were flung aside, there was a wild stampede, and the gorgeously at tired Colonol, putting spurs to his horse, mingled up with the dust and was lost to view. The Maharaj stormed in his native tongue, and then burst into English oaths. lie turned in his fury towards the Vizier; but was only in time to see the snowy robes of that high func tionary disappearing into a culvert, and the confused mob of his court • running helter-skelter across the sward. But yet another object caught the prince's eye, and chilled him with horror; it was tho vast bulk of Shero Bahadur moving rapidly and nois lessly towards him. Sri Ranabir was a Rajpoot of tho bluest blood, and his heart was big; but this awful sight, this swift, silent a Ivauce of hideous death, paralyzed him with fear. Already the long shadow of tho elephant had moved near his feet, already ho seemed im paled on those cruel white tusks,when there was a snapping bark, and the fox terrier flew at Shore Bahadur and •lanced around him in n tempest of rage. The elophaut turned and made a savage dash at tho dog, who skippod nimbly between his logs, and renewed the assault in tho rear. But this mo ment of reprieve roused llis Highness. The princo became a man, nud the Maharaj turned and fled, darting like a star across the soft green, Shere Bahadur saw tho flash of the jeweled aigrette, the sheen of the or der ; and, giving up tho dog, curled his trunk and started in pursuit. II was a desperato race. The Maharaj was out of .training; but the timu lie made was wonderful, and tho diamond buckles on his shoes formod a shreak of light as he fled. But, fast as he ran, tho race would havo ended in a few second 4 if it had not been for Bul ly, the little white fox-tcrricr. Bully thoroughly grasped tho situation, and aetod accordingly. He ran around tho elophaut, now skipped between his legs, and tho next moment snapped at him behind; and Bully had a re markably fine sot of teeth. Tho Maharaj sighted a small but, tho door of which stood invitiugly open; it was a poor hut, mado of grass and sticks ; but it socmod a royal palaco to him. With a desperate spurt, he reached tho door and dasho 1 in. But Shero Bahadur was not to bo denied. He stood for a moment, ami then, putting forward his forefoot, staved in tho side of tho frail shelter and brought down tho house. Sri Ranabir hopped out like a rat, and it was well for him that, in tho cloud of dust and thatch flying about, lie wa3 unobserved, for Shero Bahadur, now careless of Bully's assault and certain of his [man, was dibgontly searching tho debris. But ho found nothing but a brass vessel, which he savagely flung at tho dog; then ho carefully stampod on the hut and reduced every thing to chaos. In tho meantime Sri Ranabir, unconscious that tho pursuit had ceased, ran on as if ho was wound up like a clock—ran until liis foot slipped, [and tho Maharaj Adhiruj rolled into a soft bed of a mullah, and lay there with his eyes closed, utterly beaten, aud careless whothor the death ho had striven so hard to avoid came or not. Then t'acro was a buzzing in his ears, aud everything became a blank. "Blessed bo Vishnu ! He liveth"— and the Vizier helped bis fallen master to rise, aided bv the heir apparent, in whoso heart, however, there were thoughts far different from those which found expression on the lips of the Nawah Juggan .Tung, Primo Minister of Kalesar. The sympathetic,if some what excited, court crowded round their king; and a little in tho distance was tho wholo population of Kalesar, armed with every conceivable weapon, and keeping up their courage by boat ing on tom-toms, blowing horns aud shouting until tho confusion of sound was indescribable. "Come back to tho palace, my lord. They will drive the evil one out of him"— and tho Vizier wavod his hand in tho direction of the crowd, aud pointed to where, in tho distance, Shere Bahadur was making slowly and steadily for tho hills. But the Ma liaruj Adhiraj would do no such thing. "Ryful lao," ho roared iu his vernac ular; "Gimme my gun," ho shrieked iu English. There was no refusing. A double-barreled gun was thrust into his hands; he scramblod on to the back of tho first horse he saw, aud, followed by his cheering subjects aud tho whole court, dashed after the ele phant. "Mirror of tho Universe, destroy him not," advised tho Vizier, who rode at tho prinoe's bridle hand. "The boast is worth 8000 rupees, and canuot bo roplaced; tho treasury is almost empty, and we shall want hiin when tho Eat Shaib comcn." Tho Maharaj was prudent if ho was brave, and tho empty treasury was a strong argument; besides, they were getting rather oloso to Shero Bahadur, and outpacing tho faithful people. But ho gave in slowly. "What is to bo done?" ho asked, taking a pull at tho reins. "The people will drive him back," replied tho Vizier, "and we will chaiu him up securoly. Ho is but must, and in a mouth or so all will pass awav. Shero Bahadur had now reached an open plaiu, where ho stopped, aud, turning round, faced his pursuers. "Go on, brave men!" shouted tho Vizier ; "a thousand rupoes to him who links tho fiist, chain on that Shaitan. Drive him back I Drivo him back 1" There is tho courage of numbers, and this tho people of India possess. They gradually formed a semicircle round Shore Bahadur, cutting off his retreat to tho hills, and attempting by shouts and tho beatings of tom-toms to drivo him forward. But they kept at a safo distance, and the elephant remained unmoved. *'Prick him forwards," roared tho Vizier. "Aro none of ye men? Be hold ! tho Light of the Universo watohea your deeds! A must ele pliant! —Pull! w but au ani- : rnal?'' "By your lordship's favor," answered a voice, "be is not must, only angry j ---thero is no stream from bis eye. j Nevertheless I will drive him to the j linos, but I am but dust of the earth, j and a thousand rupees will make me a king." Then a rod-turbaned man stepped out of the throng. It was ' tho low-caste cooly who had been put ; to attend to the elephant on Aladin's j death. Ho was armed with a short | spear, and ho crept up to the beast on j his hands and knees, and thou, rising j warily, dug the weapon into the 1 elephant's haunch. Shero Bahadur ' rapped his trunk on the ground, gavo a short, quick trumpet, and, swinging round, mado for the man. Ho did this in a slow, deliberate manner, and actually ullowed him to gain the I crowd; thx*n he Hung up his head with ! a screech, i*nd dashed forward. Crack !—crack ! went both barrels j of Sri Banabir's rifle, and two bullets j whistled harmlessly through tho air. I Tho panic-struck mob turned ami tied, j bearing tho struggling prince in tho ' press. Tho elephant was, however, I too quick, and to his horror, Sri ' Banabir saw that ho hod chargod j home. Then Sri Bauabir also saw some* ! thing that ho never forgot. Not a i soul did tho elephant harm; but, with j a dogged persistence, followed the red ' turban. Some, bolder than tho rest, j struck at him with their thin talwars, some tried to stab him with their Hpears, and ono or two matchlocks j were tirdd at him, but to no purpose. Through tho crowd lie steered straight; for his prey, and the crowd itself gavo gavo back before him, iu a sea of frighteued faces. At last tho man himself seemed to realize Shero Baha dur's object, and it dawned like an in spiration on the rest. They made a road for the elephant, and he separated bis quarry from the crowd. At last! Ho ran him down 011 a plowed field and stood over tho wretch. The man lay partly on his side, look ing up at his enemy, and ho put up his hand weakly and rested it agaiust the foreleg of the elephant, who stood motionless above him. So still was ho that a wild thought of escape must have gone through the wretch's mind, for, with tho resource born of immi nent peril, he gathered himself to gether inch by inch and made a rush for freedom. With an easy sweep of his trunk Slicre Bahadur brought him back into his former position, and then—the devil came up, and a groan went up from the crowd, for Shore Bahadur had dropped 011 his knees, aud a moment after arose and kicked something—a mangled, shapeless something—backwards and forwards between bis feet. "Let him be," said tho Vizier, lay- 1 iug a restraining hand on Sri Banabir. ' "What has he killed but refuse? Tho I Shaitan will go out of him now." When ho had done tho deed, Shero Bahadur moved a few yards farther, and bogan to cart clods of earth over himself. Then it was seen that a small figure, with a driving hook in its littlo brown hand, was making directly for tho ele phant. "Come back, you littlo fool!" shout ed Sri Bauabir. But the boy made no answer, and, running lightly forward, stood before Shero Bahadur. Ho placed the tiusel-covercd cap ho woro at tho beast's feet, aud held lip his hands in supplication. The crowd stood breathless; they could hear nothing, but the child was evidently speaking. They saw Shore Bahadur glare viciously at the boy, as his trunk drooped forward in a straight lino. The lad again spoke, and the elephant snorted doubtfully. Then there was no mistaking the shrill treble—"Lift!" Shore Bahadur hold out his trunk in an unwilling manner. Tho boy soized hold of it as high as ho could reach, placed his bare feot on tho curl and murmured something. A moment alter he was seated 011 the elephant's neck, aud lifting the driv ing iron, waved it iu tho air. "Hai!" ho screamed, as ho drove it on to tho right spotr— tho sore part over tho left ear. " tail Base-born thief—back to your lines." And tho huge bulk of Slioro Bahadur turned slowly round and shambled off to tho peepul tree like a lamb. "By the trunk of Ounpntty. I will make that lad a havilder, and the 1000 rupees shall bo his," swore tho Ma haraj. "Pillar of tho Earth!" advised tho Vizier, "let this unworthy ono speak. It is Flittcli Din, tho dead Aladin's son—givo him fire rupees, ami lot him bo mahout." When I lust saw Shoro Bahadur ho was passing solemnly u nil or tho old archway of the "Gate of tho Hundred Winds" ut, Kalesar. Tho Maharaj Adhiraj was seated in tho howda, with his excellency tho Nawab Juggun Jung by his side. On the driving seat was Futteh Din, gorgeous in cloth of gold ; and they were on their way to tho funeral pyro of tho hoir apparent,who had died suddenly from a surfeit of creara. As they passed under the archway,a sweetmeat seller rose and bowed to tho prince, and Shero Bahadur, stretching out his trunk, helped himself ton pound or so of "Turkish delight." "Such," said tho sweetmeat seller to himself ruefully, as ho gazed after tho retreating procession—"such are tho ways of kings."—Pall Mall Gazotte. A Emieli Cafe Freak. A man banging by the neck thirteen days anil nights was tho attraction at a Montmartre (Paris) enfo recently. The doctors, however stopped tho per formance at the end of tho fourth day, the man being in a critical condition. His name is Dnraud. Ho attained no toriety some tirno ago by standing on a pedestal at Marseilles for twenty eight consecutive days. BICYCLING FOR GIRLS. Does a girl lose casto by riding a wheel? Emphatically no. It is as proper to ride a whool as to rido a pony or to walk. But a girl must ride with grace and foarlcss courage. Sho must have the right kind of saddle, must have her handle bars at the right height, and bo dressed so that her skirts will not ontangle or entrap her. There is no pleasure which surpasses that of swift motion, when ono is young aud strong and tho blood courses buoyantly through the veins, whether tho motion come from skat ing, running, riding, or going forward in any sort of progress which requires exercise. The old Greeks understood this,and one of thoir favorito goddesses was always flyiug along. Look her up in your mythology, and you will find which one I mean. Ilcr name is very short, aud a popular American author wrote a beautiful story about her, which I am sure you all havo read. — Harper's Bound Table. SMALL, CLOSE-FITTING, QUAINT BONNET. Beside tho poko which bears the stamp of Parisian approval, there is a small, closo-litting bonnet, quaint in shape, and made of rather coarse straw, or lso of the fancy braids. These bonnets, though not unlike the Dutch cap in shape, aro somewhat larger, and are worn further on the face. Tho trimming in Rome instances takes tho form of a wreath and en circles the bonnet. Then the dexterous milliner bonds it so that it seems al most oval. Sometimes the chief decor ation is at one side and stands up very high ; again, the cutiro front is quite plain, tho trimming is at the back, and either flares out in bows at each side, or stands up quite straight just in tho centre. Bosottes of] pieco volvet or gauze ribbon are liked on these bon nots, and many good color effects aro obtained when a little care is taken, and some thought is given to the con trast between tho rosettes aud flowers. —Ladies' Homo Journal. SUMMER MILLINERY. Never havo wo had a season of such brilliant coloring iu hats, which are miracles of ugliness. The most vivid hues of tho rainbow arc brought out in straws and worked up into a blind ing brilliancy undreamed of before. To accentuate this deiiant coloring there is neither rhynio nor yet even rhythm iu their trimming which in many cases looks as though pitched at them through a pneumatic tube. Great quantities of gauze and tulle are used and wholo branches from flowering trees and shrubs. The hoight to which tho garnituro is car ried exceeds tho most daring Eiffel tower effects heretofore attempted, aud often the breadth exceeds the height. Tulle brims havo rush straw crowns, aud support a wholo geranium plaut or a rose bush while wide rib bon may spread as a vast fan back of the crown. Sometimes the back of the hat looks as though a garden had been stripped for its decoration, a peck measure of flowers of every hue and kind being massed against its upturned brim. While thcro is so much to con demn, tliero arc yet some charmingly dainty things that can bo found if you havo tho time and perseverance to go in their soareh. But remember that, more than over, when trying on huts you need to consider the side and back effects as well as tho front, for some of tho first are trying beyond belief.—Demorcst's Magazine. SUMMER COSTUMES. Every week brings some change iu style, eouio new modols for skirts or waists, or some dainty trimming that has not as yet been seen, until it seems impossible to believe that Damo Fashion can ovolvo any more ideas. Tho newer gowns show a decided mod ification of the more showy styles of last month, and thero is a tendency towards light and airy effects, with most delicate shades of coloring, while skirts and waists have quite distinct points of difference. It is difficult to say just what the outcome of all theso [ changes is to bp. Thero is 110 ques- I tion but sleeves aro smaller and skirts narrower in tho very newest costumes, j but in thin materials particularly I there seema no limit to tho width of skirts and no proceptiblo shrinkage in tho size of sleeves, that is, about the shoulder or the upper arm. From just above tho elbow to the wrist they fit snugly, and thcro is a wrinkled shirred look much like that given by tho long evening gloves. The puff effect on the upper arm eorves to give tho desired breadth across tho shoulders, which accentuates a small waist and makes a largo ono have some slight curve. Evening waists have most absurd little frills for sloovos, made of double box plaits of tulle or thin silk. Skirts are alraro to bo shortened aro slight but sure indications that the fullness is to dimish. Ruches of silk appear inside many of tho handsome street dresses, and ovening gowns have ruffles of lace and chiffon to keep tho skirt out at tho bottom. STORY OF THE SEEDS, "Ono I love;" a pretty face Bending o'er the grato; "Two I love," a soft, sweet voic% Measures out her fate. "Threo I lovo, I say," and still Other seeds galore. "Four I lovo with all my heart," What need is there of more? "Five I cast away I ' Ah, no! Fortuno thus were wroßfV, Should tho count thus ondod be; Love's ties are too strong. "Six he loves," a dimpled smile; "Seven she loves," a blush; "Eight both love;" a sweet look :>ten'.3 O'er the fair face Hush. "Nino ho comes ; he tarries ten," "Eloven he courts"—but wait! Anxious search bus failed to find Tho seed w'nero rests her fate. Carefully she looks thorn o'er, Then, as brow grows light, "Twelve ho marries. Mercy! t Nearly died from fright!" -Puck. HUMOR OF THE DAY. "I love you unspeakably, Molly. * "But perhaps you might speak to mamma."—Fliegende Blaetter. Teacher—"What is an island?" Little Johnny Squanch— "A body of land almost entirely occupied by in- 0 feurgents."—Tuck. Teacher—"Can you give me any iden of what a hollow mockery is?" Pupil—"Yessum ; our ice-chest iu win ter is."—Roxbury Gazette. Once more these sad conditions come To grieve the country and tho town; The mercury now runneth up; Tho perspiration runneth down. Washington Star. Very Amateur Singer (at evening party) "Let me like a soldier fall!" Agonized Guest—"You certainly hould if I had a gun anywhere handy." —Standard. Depth of Woe: "Did Goorge look anxious when ho proposed to you, Kitty?" "Yes; ho looked as if he were learning to ride a wheel."—Chi cago Record. Snobson —"I feel dwead fully, t gave an at borne yesterday and only ten people came." Quiz —"Why don't you give a funeral? You'd havo it crowded."—Truth. Attorney—"What was thore ahout tho deceased that lodyou to bcliovo ho was of unsound mind?" Witness— "Well, for ono thing, he abhorred bicycles."—Philadelphia North Ameri can. Teacher—"Now, Freddie, since you havo correctly spelled Philadelphia, can you tell mo what Stato it is in?" Freddie—"Y'es, sir. I heard pa say tho other day that it was iu a state of coma." Hicks—"l saw your poem in tho paper last week. How did you get your pull with the editor?" Wicks— "Oh, I didn't bother tho editor, 1 called upon the business manager." Somervillo Journal. "Now, Johnny, do you understand thoroughly why lam going to whip you?" "Yes'm. You're iu had humor this morning, an' you've got to lick some ono before you'll feel satis' fled."—Harlem Life. Margaret—"Don't you think Maud* loved Charlie?" Ethel "No, dear; it is my firm boliof that she only mar ried him for his boautifnl collection of striped outing shirts."—Philadel phia North American. He—"Which did you liko best of mj verses?" She—"Why, the one on the first page." He—"Let me see. Which one was that?" She—"Don't you re member? Tho one in quotation marks."—Harlem Life. "You do not go outoften to dinnor, Mrs. Waddingtou?" "No, I don't think tho best dinner ou earth insuffi cient compensation for making one'* self agreeable for threo hours at a fctrotsb."—Chicago Record. Daughter "This piano is really rnj very own, isn't it, papa?" Pa—"Yes, my dear." "And when I marry I eat tako it with me, can 1?" "Certainly, my child; but don't, tell any one. If might spoil your chances."—Tit Bits. Ferry—"Why don't you get mar ried? Don't say you can't stand th* expense. That excuso is too thin.'' Hnrgreaves—"l could stand tho ex pense well enough, but tho girl's fathei says he can't."—Cincinnati Enquirer. Miss Bellefiold—"Do you liko Mr. Vnu Braam, Nellie?" Miss Bloomfield (who is addicted to slang) "Yes, 1 like him I don't think." Miss Belle field—"That is tho great trouble witb you, Nellie. You should cultivate a habit of thought."—Pittsburg Chron icle. "What do you think of my work with tho camera?" asked tho young man, who is an enthusiastic amateur photographer. "It's splendid in iti way," replied tho girl who means well. "It's better than any of the profes sionnl caricaturists can do."—Wash ingtonStar. A Continuous Performance: "Yon remember when I proposed to you?" said the young husband. "I believe I do recollect something of the sort," answered the young wife. "And you told me I would have to see youi mother." "Yes." "I must have mis understood you. I never dreamed that, it was the programme that 1 should see your mother every day 1 came home."—lndianapolis Journal, A White Cooii. A white coon that hasn't a dark hair on its body is ownod at Weiser, Idaho, and is a kind of town pet. It lias distinguished itself by whipping all the dogs in tho neighborhood, and is sure death to oats that stray into its vicinity. It spends most of its time chained to tho sidewalk oiPside its owner's store. Bennington Center, Vt., with a population never exceeding 300, has I furnished four Governors to the State,