THE COUNTESS' EARRINGS. 0 WAS in the palmiest days of the Second empire, j It was an evening L • in midwinter. The i , Taris season was at * ts height, and a —i * brilliant audience / I assembled at I / \/fI ■ ' the Theater Fran- I I *)\ 1 cais to witness the performance of Jules Sandeau's de lightful play: "Aflle. de la Seigliere." The empress was present, graceful and beautiful; the emperor at her side, wrapped in his favorite air of gloomy abstraction, which, like Lord Burleigh's celebrated nod, was supposed to mean so much, yet, which, viewed by the im partial light of subsequent veracibus history, seems to have signified so little. Several officers in glittering uniforms were in attendance, sparkling with dec orations showered upon them by a grateful sovereign; and among these gallant warriors, conspicuous by reason of his attire, was a solitary, humble, black-coated civilian, in ordinary even ing dress, with tho inevitable speck of led at his buttonhole. In a box almost immediately oppo site that occupied by their imperial majesties was a young and exceedingly handsome Bussian lady, Countess Ivan off, concerning whose manifold graces and fascinations the great world of Paris elected to interest itself consider ably at this- period. The beauty and wit of this fair north ern enchantress were the theme of eyery masculine tongue, and her mag nificent diamonds the envy and admira tion of all feminine beholders. The countess was accompanied by her hus band, a man of distinguished appear tr.ee. The curtain fell after the first act. The emperor and empress withdrew 3 uring the "entr'acte." Many hundred mortals followed their example; among "sheni Count Ivanoff, apparently in nowise disturbed by the fact that the golden youth in the stalls were bring ing: ft small battery of opera glasses lo bear upon the dazzling charms of his beautiful wife. The countess leaned back in her luxurious "fauteuil," fan ning herself, serenely indifferent to the interest she was exciting. In the Sim light of curtain-shaded box, the glitter of her splendicj diamonds seemed to form a sort of luminous halo round her graceful head; a myriad starry brilliants gleamed among the masses }f her gold-brown hair; and two price less stones flashed and twinkled like twin planets in her shell-tinted ears. The count ligid gone but a few min it.es, when there was a gentle knock it the door; and, in answer to the coun jess' "cntrez," the >*ouvreuse" ap peared and said, deferentially: "Pardon, Mme. laComtesse; a gentle man charged with a message from her majesty the empress waits in the cor ridor and desires to know if madame vill have the goodness to receive him." "Certainly! Enter, I beg of you, monsieur," replied the countess, as she recognized the distinguished-looking civilian she had already noticed in close proximity to the emperor in the im perial box. The visitor advanced a few steps and, still standing In deep shadow, said, with grave dignity: "1 trust my intrusion maj' be par doned. I am desired by her majesty to ask a favor of Mme. la Comtesse, and, at the same time, to beg that she will have the goodness to excuse a somewhat unusual request." "The obligation will be mine if I can fuinil even the least of her majesty's wishes," replied the countess. "The case is this," explained the gen t lonian. "An argument haa arisen con cerning the size of the diamonds in your earrings and those of Countess WoronzofT. The empress begs that yotl will intrust one of your pendants to her care for a few moments, as the only satisfactory method of disposing of the vexed question. I will myself return it the instant her majesty gives it back into my keeping." "With the greatest pleasure," agreed the countess, detaching the precious jewel forthwith and depositing it, with- "I TRUST MY INTRUSION MAY DE PAR DONED." out misgiving, in the outstretched palm of the imperial messenger. The coun tess bestowed a smile and gracious bow of dismissal upon her majesty's distin guished ambassador, who responded by a profoundly respectful inclination as he made his exit. Shortly afterward Count Ivanoff re turned. "I have been talking to Du mont," he remarked, as he seuted him self. "Clever fellow, Duinont. I am not surprised at the emperor's partial!- i ty for him; he must find him useful when he is in wont of an idea." ! "Who is Dumont?" inquired the coun tess, with languid interest. "That is rather a difficult question," replied the count, smiling; "there are several editions of his biography—all different, probably none of them true. Look, he has just entered the emperor's j box—the man in the black coat." "Is that M. Dumont?" exclaimed the countess; "if so, he has been here while 3011 were away. He came on the part of the empress, and carried off one of my earrings, which her majesty wished to compare with one of Countess Wor onzoff's." "Dumont! Impossible! 1 was talk ing to him the whole time I was absent, and he only left me at the top of the staircase two seconds before I re turned." "Nevertheless, mon ami, he has been here, and has taken my earring. See! it is gone." "Effectively," agreed the count, with a grim smile; "but Dumont has not taken it. It is to the last degree un likely that the empress would make such a request. Depend upon it, you have been the victim of a thief, made up as Dumont." "Impossible!" cried the countess, in her turn. "The affair is absolutely as I tell you. It was the veritable M. Du mont I see opposite who came into this box and took away my diamond. Only wait a little, and he will bring it back intact." "Town.it a little is to lessen the chance of its recovery. I will go and inquire of Dumont, if I can get at him, whether he has been seized with a sudden at tack of kleptomania; because the idea of the empress having sent him roaming about the theater, borrowing a lady's jewejs, I regard as preposterous. Ah, these Parisian thieves! You do not know what scientific geniuses they are in their way." "I was right," whispered the count, reentering and bending over his wife's chair; "Dumont knows nothingof your earring, and, needless to say, the em press never sent liiin or anyone else up >n such an errand. I have put the mat ter into the hands of the police, and they will do all that is possible to re cover it." The countess was duly commiserated by sympathizing friends; but nothing more was heard of the stolen jewel un til the following dny. A servant entering announced that an THE COUNTESS GLANCED THROUGH THE LJCTTKR officer in plain clothes asks permission to speak With Mme. la Comtesae con cerning the lost diamond. "Certainly," said madame, gracious ly; "let the officer be shown into the boudoir." in the boudoir presently came the countess, stately, beautiful, fur-clad, buttoning her little gloves. Near the door stood a short, wiry-looking man, with keen, black eyes, closely-cropped hair, und compact, erect, military fig ure. The small man bowed profound ly while he said, with the utmost re spect, at the same time laying a letter upon the table: "I am sent by order of the chief of police to inform Mme. la Comtesse that the stolen diamond has been satis factorily traced, but there is, unfortu nately some little difficulty connected with its identification. lam charged, therefore, to beg that Mme. la Comtesse will have the goodness to intrust the fellow earring to the police for a short period, in order that it may be com pared with the one found iu the posses sion of the supposed thief. Madame will find that the letter I bring corroborates my statement." The Countess glanced hastily through the letter, and, ringingtlie bell, desired that her maid might be told to bring the remaining earring immediately; this was done, and the dapper little man, bowing deferentially, departed with the precious duplicate safely in his pos session. The countess descended to her sleigh and drove to the club, to call for her husband en route for the Bois. Cross ing the Place de la Concord, she related to him the latest incident in the story of the diamond earring. "You never were induced to give up the other 1" cried Count Ivanoff, in credulously, "But I tell you, mon ami, an officer of the police came himself to fetch it, bringing a letter from his superiors vouching for the truth of his state ment." "If the prefect himself had come, I don't think I should have been cajoled into lett ing him have it after last night's experience," laughed her husband. "However, for the second time of ask ing, we will inquire." The coachman turned and drove, as directed, to the bureau of police, ut which the count had lodged his com plaint the might before. After a some what protracted delay, the count joined his wife with a semi-grim look of amusement upon his handsome bearded face. "The police know nothing of your de tective or his epistolary efforts,"he said, drawing the fur robe up to his chin, as the impatient horses sped away over the frozen snow; "your second earring has been netted member of the light-fingered fraternity, and, upon my honor, I think he was the more ac complished artist of the two!" And from that unlucky day to this Countess Ivanoff's diamond earrings knew her pretty cars no more.—San Francisco Argonaut, SOME PET NAMES. Wives Inaptly ileal ou- Tliem Upon Their lias bands. The littlo god of love betrays even diguified people into the most ingeni ously incongruous terms of endear; ment sometimes. And this in delinnce of the fact that the real love words of every language are the most musically beautiful combinations of sounds pos sible. So sweetly melodious are our own "darling," "dearest," "sweetheart," that one is fain to pity him or her wlis has never heard them tenderly uttered n ith a special application. While tho French "raon ami,' "cherie," "mu mignonne," etc., are spoken music, and even the German "ineine geliebste" might glorify that strong language. "Honey," "deaiie," "sweet," are still on the right side of the ridiculous. Even "pet" is admissible, though it once oc curred to me that to address a swarthy, six-foot, 230-pound Cuban at a public dinner as "petite" might be just on tho borderland. But where the divine passion is real ly dominant, all these expressions are quite too commonplace. 1 know a well-built, well-groomed man of the world, with a strong, mascu- I ne face, a splendid, athletic figurt?, 61 ending six feet three inches in his stockings, and stately and dignified in his bearing. His enraptured wife finds no word so expressive of her apprecia tion of his charms as "Kitten." She, bj' the way, is Juno, and he, not to be outdone in matters of the heart, also ••alls her "Kitten." So it is Kitten and Kitten, until I am sure they have for gotten that the English language po-: esses proper nouns, in general usage in polite society. Then there is a fat man with pudg.i face and protruding figure. Nothing seems to satisfy the soul of his doting wife but Birdie. Birdie he is, Birdie he must be though all the world would blush for it. Then I cannot forget one of my dear friends whose husband, 20 years her senior, is a hard-headed business man. who is said sometimes to wander into "ways that are dark, and tricks that are vain." Happily, Ido Dot know just what she calls him during these periods. Hut I do know that during his temporary lapses into virtue she is a most devoted, loving wife, and that when her passion for him is at moder ete height she contents herself with "mall tweetness," and "cunning singie," but when it rises to flood tide, she casts upon him the most loving and languishing glances and calls him "Crow." Another fall, gaunt, raw-boned, ill favored friend IB also worthy of passing mention. His hair is carrot-colored and seraggly, his neck so thin that it resembles nothing so much as a snarl of strings, while his hands, feet #nd anatomy generally call up of ichahod Crane. His affectionate spouse *-ould find no nume for him that so pleased her fancy as "Puddin." She scolded him as "Puddin" and loved him as "Puddin." As "Puddin" he was cowed, driven and bullied, and as "Pud din" he was coaxed, wheedled and caressed. There is a well-known editor of one of this country's great papers, a man of stalwart frame, keen countenance, bril liant intellect. To his wife he is "ltty one," and she to him is "Preshy" (prp cious). It i 3 surprising that a delicate, re fined, high-bred woman could best ex press her ardor for her husband in the words "Snooks" and "Shoppy," yet I have known such to be the ease; and it would seem .as though a digniled professor might object to being called "Hubby," but 1 have seen him respond to it with a smile so wide that the Cheshire cat wasn't in it. One prominent literary man rarely addresses his tiny young wife as any thing but "Kid," which is not inap propriate if somewhat unmusical. But it is usually the very little inun with the enormous wife whose ebulitions o£4sen timental tenderness can only find ex pression in calling her "Baby." These are by no means the vagaries of youth and inexperience. I was once traveling in one of the western states, when a groom of about 70 came aboard with a blushing bride of perhaps 65. 'I hey soon became oblivious, and this conversation was heard: ye—Whose ittle Lammie? She—Bof of us, And perhaps all are familiar with the overheard conversation between the Concord school of philosophy professor and the Vnssar graduate: V. G. —Darling? Ph. D.—Yes, darling. V. G.—Nothing—only darling. Truly is not the god of love the god of humor as well?— Detroit Free Press. A lilt of Cnueodcd Advice. It would be a good idea for mothers in-law to let their daughters-in-law alone where domestic matters are con cerned, unless their advice is asked. This sounds harsh, but it is meant to be sensible. Tho husband's mother, as a rule, is too fussy about her son. Of course, it is difficult for her to realize that another woman and a comparative stranger, can know as much about "my boy" as his mother does, but it's very often true. So that cheery and wide-awake moth erin-law who comes in smiling, makes no suggestions, offers no criticisms, thinks everything splendid—or says she does—and isn't full of tiresome rem iniscences of "how she used to do," is likely to be the power behind tho throne if she covets that position.—Philadel phia American. A Wonderful Light. "That's a wonderful light that for eign scientist has discovered," said Hicks. "It's so strong that if you let it shine through a pocketbook a camera will make a picture of money in it." ".love!" said Wilbur. "I'd like to liave tome of that. If it could make a picture of money in my pocketbook I'd have an easier time with my creditors."—Har per's Bazar. It Annoyed ller. "1 never was so mortified in all my life!" she exclaimed. "What was the matter?" asked her deare.it friend. "My maid told me that my fiance was in the reception-room." "Yes." "And I threw my arms around him and kissed him twice before I discov ered that it was his twin brother. Take ray advice and never become en gaged to a twin." "On the contrary, I think I shall look for one. It just doubles the fun."—Chi cago Post. Convincing Evidence. "Jim," exclaimed the Foggy Bottom matron, "yoh done promised me dnt yoli wus gwjne ter let politics alone." "Well, s'pos'n I did," was the some what sulky reply. "Wliah yer gwiue to-night?" "Am gwine nowhali in puhtickler." " 'Deed'n I knows whah yoh's gwine. I knows de signs. Yoh's gwine ter de meetin', foh slio'. When I seeser razzer an' er flask an' er set er resolutions in er man's overcoat pockets I knows 'is business ebry time."—Washington Star. Johnnie's Advice to Hit* Mother. Dr. Perkins Soonover was called in at the Chaflie mansion to prescribe for Mrs. Chaflie, who was quite unwell. "Madame," Laid the doctor, "will you kindly put out your tongue?" "Don't do it, mother dear," said .John nie, "or he may pound you as papa did me yesterday when I stuck my tongue out at him." —Dallas (Tex.) Sifter. Getting Ahead In Life. "Isn't it queer," snid Gonrong, "that I've always been mistaken about my age ? 1 thought I was 09 last December, but I got hold of our old family Bible the other day and discovered I wusonly 05." "I have always told you," observed Plunket.t, "that you've been living too fast."—Chicago Tribune. Indispensable. "You have left out ail important statement in this rescue story," said a professor in the school of journalism to one of his students. "Indeed, sir?" "Yes, you neglect to say that the boj r was rescued just as he was going down for the third time."—N. Y. World. Wor6C Now. Cumso—l suppose Whiffet isn't such an unconscionable liar since he quit flsliing so constantly. Cawker—lie Ims less regard for the truth now than ever. Cumso—What docs be lie about now? Cawker—The immense distances he covers on his bicycle.—Town Topics. rioununt OCCUR ion. Kate—l went to a stereoptieon entci tainment the other niglit with young pe Spooney. Laura —l)id you enjoy the views? Kate—Very much iudeed. It was just like going through a tunnel.—Detroit Free Press. In a Dili (us licgtuur.mt. "Here is a tly in my soup, waiter." "Y'es, sali; werry sorry, sali; but you can frow away do fly an' cat de soup, can't yer?" "I reckon so; you didn't expect me to throw away the soup and eat the fly, did you?"— Dallas (Tex.) Sifter. Inconsistent, When she refused to marry me, She promised she would he my sister; Yet she was mad as mad could be, When,with fraternal haste, I kissed her. -N. Y. Tribune. TIIE CALLER'S HYPOCRISY. §! |, QBjj Mistress--What did you tell those ladies who just called? Bridget—Oi told them that yez was not in, mum. Mistress—And what did they say? Bridget—"How fortinit," mum. Leslie's Weekly. Stint©;!. The pain of Economy's £rlp Is felt upon Pleasure's fair neck, When our wishes say: "Now let 'er rip, And Experience holds us In check. —Truth. A Simple Plan. Mr. Younguian (after long thought) —ls there any way to Jiml out what a woman thinks of you, without propos ing? Mr. Benedict (absently)— Yes; make her mad.—N. Y. Weekly. Where to l''int remedy for children of " Our physicians in the children's depart which lam acquainted. I hope the day is rot ment have spoken highly of their experi far distant when mothers will consider the real euce in their outsido practice with Castoria, interest of their children, and uso Castoria in- and although we only have among our stead of the various quack nostrums which oro medical supplies what is known as regular destroying their loved ones, by forcing opium, products, yet wo are free to confess that the morphine, soothing syrup and other hurtful merits of Castoria has won us to look with agents down their throats, thereby sending favor upon it." them to premature graves." UNITED HOSPITAL AND DISPENSART, DR. J. F. KINCHELOE, Boston, Mass. Conway, Ark. ALLEN C. SMITH, Pres., The Contour Company, T7 Murray Street, New York City. — RAILROAD TIMETABLES T'HE DELAWARE, SUSQUEHANNA ANL SCHUYLKILL RAILROAD. Time table in effect December 15,1695. Trains leave Drifton for.leddo, Eokley, Ma/.le Hrook, Stockton. Heaver Meadow ltoad, Itoan and lia/.leton .Junction at 5110, 600 am,4 15 p in, daily except Sunday; and 703 a in, 138 p in, Sunday. Trains leave Drifton for Hnrwood,Cranberry, Tomhicken and Deringer at S:X) a in, p in, daily except Sunday; and Vo3a m, '136 p in, Sun day. Trains leave Drifton for Oneida Junction, Hnrwood ltoad, Humboldt ltoad, Oneida ami Sheppton atOUOa m, 4 15 p m, daily except Sun day; and 703 a in, 2;18 pm, Sunday. Trains leave lIA/.!cton J unction for Hnrwood, Cranberry, Totuhiclveu ami Deringer at 035 a n, daily except Sunday; and 8 53 a in, 4 12 p m, Sunday. Trains leave Hazleton Junction for Oneida Junction, fiarwood ltoad, 11 umbo.ut ltoad, Oneida and Sliepptoti at U2O, 11 10 u m, 4 40 p m, daily except Sunday; and 7137 u in, 308 pin, Sunday. Tr ins leave Deringer for Tomhicken, Cran berry, Hnrwood, Huzletou Junction, itouu, Hpaver Meadow ltoad. Stockton, llazle Hrook, Eekley, Jeddo and Drifton at 225, 540 p m, ■daily except Sunday; and 0 37 a in, 507 p m, Sunday. Trains leave Sheppton for Oneida, Humboldt Ko id, Hnrwood ltoad, Oneida Junction, Hazle ton J unotion and ltoan at ; li am, 1240, 525 p m, daily except Sunday; and 800 u m, 341 p in, Sunday. T rains leave Shcppton for lioavcr Meadow ltoad, Stockton, flazic Hro >k, Kckley, Jeddo ami Driltou ut 5 25 p m, daily, except Sunday; ami 8 (/J a m, 3 44 p ill, Sunday. Trains leave Hazleton Junction for Heaver Moudow ltoad, stockum, lia/.le Ifrook, Eokley, Jeddo and Drilton at 3(5 47, 6 20 p m, daily, except Suiidu> ; and 10 08 a in, 5 38 p in. Sunday. All trains connect at llazleton Junction with electric cars for ilu/U ton, Jeanesviile, Auden ried and other points on the Traction Com pany's line. Trains leaving Drifton at 6 00 a m, Hazleton Junction at 020 am, ami Sheppton at 7Ha m, connect, at Oneida Junction wnii Lehigh V alley trains east and west. Train leaving Drifton at 5 30 a in makes con nection at Deringer with I*. H. it. train for Wilkesbarre, Sunbury, llarriuburg uml points west. For tho accommodation of passengers at way stations between Hu/lctou .1 unction and Der uiaer, an extra train will leave the former point in 3f>o p in. daily, except Sunday, arriv ing at Deringer at f> iv. A. W. N ON N EM AC HER, Ass't (4. P. A., South Lcthlehein, Pa. T N THE CO CI IT OF COMMON PLEAS of .1 Luzerne county. No. 226, March term. IMl>. Notice is hereby given that an application will be made to the said court on Saturdav, March 21, lH'.Mi, at 10 a. in., under the act id as sembly of tin commonwealth of i'onu-vl vuuia entitled, "an act to provide for the In corporation and regulation of certain corp. 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