Our collegeß have at least $100,000,-
000 whence they derivo the incoino
for their support.
The New York Sun wants the nnmo
of the city changed to Manhattan,
which, it thinks, would moan some
thing.
Colonel Waring, of New York, states
that ho can clean asphalt for two
thirds the cost of cleaning granite
blocks imperfectly.
In the Loo Choo Islands in the
Pacific, though there are neither ve
hicles nor public lighting, the inhab
itants have letter boxes and tele
phones.
The fruit and markot garden busi
ness of the South now brings into that
section $50,000,000 a year and the
Atlanta Constitution predicts that in
the next few years it will be doubled.
Recent statistics show, especially in
European countries, that the number
of horses used in cities and towns iu
creases every year in a moro rapid
proportion than the population of tho
fame, and is owing, no doubt, to tho
greater number of public conveyances
ind tho trafllo steam and electricity
bring.
The Soldiers' Colonization Com
pany, of Indiana, has just bought
113,000 acres of land in Wilcox and
Irwin Counties, Goorgia. It is esti
mated, in the New York Tribune,'that
5000 families, or about 30,000 per
sons, will settle within the next two
fears on the land which has been
bought. It is the intonlion of the col
onies to settle on farms of sizes no
eording to their means. Thoy expect
to bo prepared out of their present
savings and resources to tide over tho
period between this harvest season
snd the next. In addition to farmers,
the oolony will include nrtisans, fruit
growers and others seeking moro fav
orable labor, climate and health con
ditions. They will come from Ohio,
Indiana, Illinois, lowa, Nebraska,
Wisconsin and other Western States.
The company purchasing tho prop
erty is a joint stock organization
formed several years ago, an l num
bering about 7000 stockholders. As
sessments have been paid in at inter
vals, nnd the stockholders will con
tribute their paid-up shares in pur
ehaso of farms in tho section bought
by tho company.
Keport is made of a new application
of electrioity which will drive a first
class ocean steamer aoross the Atlantic
it an expenditure of S2OO, whereas it
now costs SIO,OOO. It is a tale of
magnitude, surpassing that of tho
Australian kangaroo, which is larger
than the animal it grows out of, but
there may bo something in it. Ho
many wonders havo been wrought
with this unseen, mysterious force
that the promise of a new ono, no
matter how groat, need not excite in
credulity. It is reasonable to expect
It to be applied to the propulsion of
ill sorts of craft, ooean or other, but
uch a saving of expense as that prom
ised is beyond anything heretofore
dreamed of, and there may be some
mistake about it. Its economies need
not be so extreme to enable it to rev
olutionize tho commerce and business
of the world. One thing about the
deotrioal force is apparent, and that
is that its work is only begun. It is
to spread through the whole system of
man's activities around the world,
with influences upon his caroer and
destiny not yet measured or measur
able.
According to the Now York World
tho farmer who has bay to soli this
year will find it a paying crop, aud
generally through tho States east of
tho Alloghanics there has been ouough
rainfall to bring tho yield nearly to
the average. But iu the valleys of
the Ohio, the Upper Mississippi and
the Missouri a deficiency of from six
to eleven inohes in tho rainfall during
the spring months has made tho grass
crop unusually short, a large propor
tion of the meadows being soarcely
worth outting. The hay crop of last
year was nearly eleven million tons
less than tho crop of 1833, and the
prospect of another and much greater
deficiency in tho marketable surplus
has put a fancy price upon the avail
able supply out West. Farmers oan
generally provide for homo use a sub
stitute in the form of oorn fodder, or
eke out a deficiency of clover and tim
othy by turning under winter wheal
stubble and sowing millet. But o
shortage in the hay crop is a big loss
to the country. The farm value of
this crop of 1893, according to the
statistioan of the Agricultural De
partment, was $570,882,872, or more
than twioe the farm value of last
year's wheat crop and $10,000,000
more than the value of last year's com
•rop.
OUR BOYS AND GIRLS
THIS IS THEIR DEPARTMENT OF
THE PAPER.
Junint Sayings and Cute Doinga of the
Little Folks Everywhere, Gathered
and Printed Here for All Other Lit
tle Ones to Read.
The Punctuation Points.
Six littlo marks from school are wo,
Very important all agree,
Filled to the brim with mystery.
Six little marks from school.
One littlo mark is round and small,
liut where it stands the voice must fall;
At tho close of a sentence, all
Place this little mark from school.
fine little mark with gown n-trailing,
Holds up the voice, never failing,
Tells you not long to pause when hailing
This little mark from school.
If out of breath you chance to meet,
Two little dots, both round and neat,
Pause, and these tiny guardsmen greet—
These little marks from school.
W hen shorter pauses are your pleasure,
One trails his sword—takes half tho meas
ure,
Then speeds you on to seek new treasure,
This little mark from school.
One little mark, ear-shaped, implies,
"Keep up the voice—await replies,"
To gather information tries,
This little mark from school.
fine little mark, with an exclamation,
Presents itself to your observation,
And leaves the voice at an elevation,
This little mark from school.
Six little marks! Re sure to heed us:
Carefully study, write, and rend us;
For you can never cease to need us,
Six little marks from school.
-St. Nicholas.
An Odd Foster Father.
"Roll" lives In a very comfortable
way out on Warwick boulevard, in
Kansas City. He is a water spaniel
and one of the fattest dogs in town—
and bo is not such a heavy eater. lie
is simply so good-natured that lie gets
fat 011 nothing but a good conscience
and an even temper, says the Star.
At "Rob's" home are many chickens,
and they all look up to "Bob" as tlieii
foster father. A queer friend for a
chicken is a big, fat water spaniel, bill
the chickens don't care what or who
he is, he is Just "Bob" to them. There
Is a brood of motherless chicks who
are seldom away from him if they can
help it. When he lies down they climb
—-
OLD "liOll" AND HIS FRIENDS.
upon his hack, which is so broad as tc
resemble the big, flat pad on the hack
of a circus horse. They crawl upon his
bend and peck at his oars, lie does
not shake them off. and they hang OK
tight when lie walks slowly around 1 lie
yard in Ids lazy way. When lie lies
down they nestle In near ids paws, and
he will remain motionless there for a
half hour at a time.
The motherless brood are getting u
he big fellows now, but they have nol
deserted liini, although a brood oi
younger chickens have come up t<
climb his back anil peck at ills tongue
and the end of Ids nose. It is astonish
lug to see the care and gentleness oi
the old fellow when the chickens art
near Idm.
Ploying Circus.
—Chicago Inter Ocean.
"You're It."
Boys, do you know why you say,
"You'reit!" whenplaylngtag? Of course
not; the professor didn't, either, when
we asked him the other day, hut he
promised to put Ids entire mind upon
so important n subject and let us know
at once.
This is what he says, though with
some of his big words left out:
"The people who live over in En
gland do not think much of the lettei
'h,' being in the habit of dropping ii
from the words where It belongs and
putting it where it does not belong
What fun there is In it, or why do they
do It, no one cau tell; hut they have
been in the habit of it for a good many
hundred years.
"So, when they played tag, as boye
do now, touching each other with tlieii
hands, whenever ono bov hit anotbci
he at once shouted out: 'You're 'lt!'
for he could not say 'hit/ you know.
"And all the generations of little
boys who have since then been play
ing the game continued to say "it,' in
stead of 'hit,' even after our fathers
learned in America to always put their
It's in every other word where they
belonged.
"Now, boys, let me whisper a word
of warning. Don't tell your teacher
what the professor says. If you do
she'll never give you any peace, but
will rap on tho window at every recess
and tell you to say 'hit,' instead of
' 'it.' " —New York Recorder.
JAPANESE M. E. CHURCH.
They Dedicate Their Edifice
Krectcd in America.
The first Japanese church in America
was dedicated in Sun Francisco receui ly.
Its outside is of brick, plaster and
wood-carving. Its congregation con
sists of lino Japanese Methodists, with
n few Japanese girls of various sizes
in charge of Miss Hewitt as chaperon.
FIIIST JAPANESE CUUIICII IN AMEHICA.
Inside there is a strip of Japanese mat
ting in the aisle and chairs take the
place or regular seats. The pulpit has
a gay red carpet, and there is a red cur
tain between the choir and the au
dience. There are Japanese vases ol
dull blue pottery with a stork design
full of flowers.
The church itself Is In the uppet
story. Below are the eliapel, school
room and olHces. with the dormitories
of the mission In the rear. The mis
sion boys have Intelligent, well-bred
faces.
"MAN OVERBOARD."
A Lively Little Jolte, lint It Cost Him
His Baggage.
"Steamship passengers frequently re
sort to practical jokes to relieve the
monotony of voyages," said a retired
sea captain yesterday, "and while the
pranks, as a rule, are perfectly harm
less they sometimes have a boomerang
effect. Three years ago we were cross
ing the Atlantic and both the owners
and myself were exceedingly anxious
to make a speedy trip as a rival liner
had tlie week before lowered the record
held by our company. On the third
day out, Just about dusk, the cry of
'Man overboard!' rang through the
ship, and a hurried investigation elicit
ed the information that several of the
passengers had heard a splash, follow
ed by piteous appeals of 'Help, help
save me!' The engines were stopped,
and the steamer put about, a close
watch being kept meanwhile for (lie
drowning man. A hulf hour was spent
In cruising about without results and
we started on our journey under the
belief that the poor fellow had gone to
tlio bottom. The Inquiry that followed
proved puzzling. No one was missing,
and we came to the conclusion that a
stowaway had committed suicide.
"The next day, however, an explana
tion came. We had a ventriloquist
aboard, In tho person of a very smart
young mnn, who wns too tickled over
the success of his joke to keep the se
cret.
"Then tho laugh was on him. As he
hud caused a serious delay and much
annoyance I notified him that I had
made an official entry of the circum
stance on my log and the loss of time,
and that 011 approaching shore I would
detain him until a sufficient guarantee
had been put up that he would answer
in court to reply to a demand for finan
cial restitution. I talked of $50,000
being about the penalty under the Gov
eminent mail contract, and it Is need
less to say he spent the balance of the
voyage on tenter hooks. He disap
peared before we docked, leaving his
baggage behind."—San Francisco Tost.
His Job Tile w Through Ilfs Whiskers.
A story is told of a Philadelphia hotel
keeper. Employed us a porter about
the hotel was an elderly man named
Mike, who had been an attache of tho
hotel for eight years. His most prom
inent feature and one of which he was
very proud, was n heard of luxuriant
growth. One day last week Iho pro
prietor of the house was pacing the
lobby when Mike happened to pass.
Tho proprietor was in a very disagree
aide frame of mind, and lie stopped and
looked at Mike with an evil light In Ids
eye. "Come here, you," he yelled at
the porter. "How long have you been
here?" "Nigh onto eight years, sor."
"Well, you've been here long enough.
You needn't come back to-morrow. I'm
tired of seeing you about." The poor
porter was thunder-struck. He went
to his friend, the day clerk, and told
him all about it. "What'll Oi do?" said
be. "Ol've a woife and family tur t'
support, an' Oi can't got another job."
The clerk thought for a minute and
then said suddenly: "I have it. You
go home and shave off your beard, and
then go to thp boss and tell him you
hoard lie needed a porter." Mike fol
lowed the advice next day and secured
the situation, becoming his own suc
cessor. The proprietor has never sus
pected the trick.
hacked the Opportunity.
Itev. San Jones, In Omaha, recently
asked any man present who had never
spoken a cross word to his wife to
stand up. A round-faced, good-natured
looking Individual with a beard stood
up. "Thank heaven, there's one man
who never said a cross word to his
wife," said Itev. Sam. "I'm a bache
lor," shouted the round-faced man.
THE FIELD OF ADVENTURE.
THRILLING INCIDENTS AND DAR
ING DEEDS ON LAND AND SEA
Killed a I 1I K Rattler With Ills llarc
Hands—Exciting Rescue of a
Drowning Wau.
VAN HES3, of Cannonsville, N.
Y., had an exciting light
with a rattlesnake tho other
day, and though tho snako
was killed, Van will not soon forgot
his experience. He and several others
wero sitting on tho back porch of
George Seymour's placo when he saw
tho tall grass moving in the field op
posite.
"I'hore goes a snapping turtle,"
said Van. "I'll get him, and we'll
out the honored name of Hess in his
starboard quarter."
Suiting tho notion to the word, he
skipped over the fence and was soon
alongside the body which was moving
tho grass. Then the grass stopped
moving, and so did Van. An instant
later he was coming back to tho store
on a run, and from tho looks of his
faco the others knew he had run up
against a rattler. These snakes have
been very plentiful in this section this
season, ami have shown fight wherever
encountered.
But Van was game, and, when, the
boys began to guy him, said he'd kill
that snake with his bare hands. Go
lug into the store ho pulled on a pair
of high boots and took tho largest
sponge in the place. With this for
arms he returned to tho snake, while
tho rost of the "boys" came along at a
safe distanco behind to watch the fun.
The snake was moving oil as Van
again approached, but, at tho disturb
ance, with a rattle he "sot" for fight.
The angry head, which was swaying
high in tho grass, gave evidence that
tho reptile was a big one, nud the con
tinued rattliug showed that he wa3
angry in proportion to his size.
Van's uerve was shaken a little, but
ho advanced slowly toward the snake,
holding tho sponge at nrin's longth.
The snake drew its head further back
to strike, and as Van shoved tho big
sponge at it, suddenly struck its
fangs deep into its peculiar moslie3.
Tho effort was n surprise to the snake,
and with difficulty it releused its fangs
as Van backed a step.
A socond time tho sponga was
pushed nt tho snake, and the head
again shot forward harder than before.
Boforo it could release tho fangs Van
caught tho swelling neck close to tho
head with his right hand nud squeezed
with nil his power. The snake un
coiled, and as Van shoved tho head to
the ground, sponge and all, and placed
one big boot on it, the twisting,
squirming tnil settled arouud his leg
in a grip that made Van yell with
pain.
Ouo of tho other boys, encouraged
by Van's wonderful display of cool
ness, ran to his aid, nud with a big
jackknifo severed tho head where Van's
boot held it. The body was untwisted
from Van's leg, nnd whon straightened
out by tho head, tho body was found
to measure five feet and one inch. Au
investigation showed that tho fangs of
the snako were still entangled in the
sponge.
Van's method clearly established his
reputation as a snake hunter, anil ho
wears the nine rattles on his vest as a
souvenir of tho encounter.
A Thrilling Rescue.
Much imperiling of life is demanded
in the mid-ocean rescue of a drowning
man, nud such an incident always fur
nishes intense dramatic interest for a
spectator. Tho Baron de Malortie, in
a recent interesting work, recalls an
exciting scene he witnessed years ago,
while crossing the Atlantic. The ship
was several days out when, one after
noon, he was idly lounging about on
the upper deck.
Suddenly, he says, I saw a man ap
proach the bulwark. He threw over
board some objects—we learned after
ward that they wero his Bible and a
rosary—and followed them with a
header into the foaming sea.
"Han overboard 1" I cried, but tho
storm covered my voice, and I rushed
up the bridge to call tho attention of
the officer on duty to the accident.
Stop 1 half speed astern, and' orders
for the lowering of the boat were the
allairs of a minute or two.
"Volunteers to man tho boat!"
shouted a young midshipman, cutting
a lifo boat from tho davits.
Ten men carao forward for every
ouo wanted, and selecting four of tho
most powerful tars, tha middy was
loworing tho boat whon a young doc
tor, qniokly pocketing a ila.sk of
brandy for a rostorative, lot himself
down one of tho ropes, and reached
the boat as a monumental wave was
dashing over it.
Tho men pulled with a will, nnd tho
gallaut little nutshell fought bravely
up nnd down tho mountains of angry
waters. As to tho suicido, ho was far
astern, and only from time to time
could wo soo something like a human
form emerge on tho top of a whito
crosteil wave.
Oh, tho anxiety] with which wo
wntchod both the boat nud its goal 1
Disappearing altogether at moments,
when we feared wo had seen tho Inst
of thoso noblo follows, another gigan
tio wn,vo would toss thorn up again
like a cork. It was exoitiiig in tho ex
treme. But tho boat was gaining;
nearer and ucuror it came, whilst wo
wore slowly following in its wake.
There 1 tho dootor throws a life-bolt.
They aro only somo yards off now.
But no, a cruel wavo has tossed them
past the object of their tremendous
efforts. There they aro thi owing
round her noso; they aro tnoking; tho
middy has passed tho rudder lo an old
quartormastcr, nnd nrinod with boat
hooks, he nnd tho doctor stand ready
lor notion.
Anothor second and the life belt is
hooked; the man is grasping it jla
perately, but ho has no strength left;
there he slips---all is lost, just at the
critical moment.
But who is that jumping overboard!
Three cheers for tho brave man—it's
tho doctor I But he, too, disappears.
Are there two victims instead of one?
No, no ! And there—hurrah!—there
is the doctor, his precious burden be
fore him.
The men pull liko mad to reach tho
two ere thoy sink again. Tho gallnnt
young middy is watching for the right
moment. More life-belts aro thrown,
thoy help tho doctor to keep above
water; another pull and the boat-hook
has done its duty, nud whilst two of
the meu stick to tho oars, tho others
are busy dragging rescuer nud rescued
on board.
The long, cold bath, the fright nnd
the proximity of death had wonderfully
sobered tho would-be suicide, whom
remorse for a drunken spree had driv
en to this mad freak. It did not re
quiro many restoratives to bring him
to, and two hours later ho had an op
portunity of recapitulating his adven
ture iu diro solitude, having been con
demned to be kept in irons for the rest
of tho voyage, a well deserved pun
ishment for exposing six valuable
lives, tho lives of six heroes, indeed,
in this perilous venture.
Dying Luke Short's Shot.
"Oue of thocoolost pieces of bravery
I ever wituessod was enacted nt tho
depot at Wankomis, Oklahoma,
in the fall of 1892," said J. T. Demon.
"Duko Short, a United States Deputy
Marshall, had arrested a fellow ol' tho
name of Dittlefield, a membor of tho
famous Daltou gang, and was taking
him to Wichita for safo keeping. Dit
tiefield was securely bound hand and
foot, and wns lying in the express car
on a north bound Rook Island train.
Short was sitting by him, and his close
vigil was a guarantee that iu due time
liia prisoner would bo safely lodgod
behind tho bars in tho couuty jail at
Wichita, where ho would bo beyond
all possiblo hope of escaping. It was
before the Chorokeo outlet had been
thrown open for settlement nud tho
country aloug tho lino of tho railroad
between Hennessey auil Caldwell was
one wide spreading stroteh of prairie
which was not broken by a binglo
homestead or settlement. The small
depots which had been erected wore
moro to accommodate tho soldiers
than for any other purpose and a sol
dier agent appeared as each train
passed by and recoivod the mail and
express consigned to that particular
station.
"As tho train in question pulled
slowly into Wankomis that memorable
evening, Short leaped from tho ex
press car onto tho platform and stood
looking to sc-o if any effort would be
made by the members of the Dalton
gang to release Littlefield. The latter
had ru some manner worked his
shackles looso from his hands and nr
the train startod to pull out grabbed
the messenger's Wiuohosler nud also
leaped to tho platform. He no sooner
steadicd]himsolf than ho raised the
riflo and shot at Short, who was stand
ing near tho engine making ready to
climb into tho express car. Tho ball
struck Short iu tho abdomen and he
fell in a heap. lie was fatally shot
and seemed to roalize it at once. I
was a passenger iu tho smoker nnd at
oneo started for tho door to seo what
was tho matter.
"As I gained the lower stop I saw
Short, who was ns palo ns death itself,
deliberately raised himself on oue arm
and, pulling his big six shooter, lire.l
nt Dittlefield, who was fast getting
away with tho irons still on his feet.
The shot was a difficult one, but being
made in all the desperation of a dying
man's agony, was also a true ouo, for
hardly had the Hash from therovulver
faded away when tho fleeing desperado
was seen to throw his hands high iu
the air aud fall dead. Short, after
his effort, roloasod his hold ou tho guu
he had so opportunely used aud with
a gasp or two also expired. It was an
eventful secue and one I will long ro
niember, and displayed what sterling
qualities aro hidden in the breast o!
tho averago man who elects to risk his
lifo as a hunter of criminals."—Kansas
City Journal.
The Servo oi a Customer.
A Washington philosopher observes
that it is a very good thing in this
world to have money, but if yon
haven't money—well, some kinds of
nerve are a very good substituto for
it. For instance, thero's a yotiug fel
low who is not as intimately acquaint
ed with the look ola dollar as ho'd
liko to be, but ho has something as
good. Ho wanted a pair of shoes oueo
upon a time. He wont into a shop
aud wasjfittcd. Then he asked the
price of the shoes. "Four dollars,"
said the proprietor. "Take them off,"
was tho yonug man's resigned reply.
"I'ako them off I can't pay that
much. I haven't got it." "'What
liavo you got?" "Two dollars." Tho
proprietor gathered up his shoes in
dignantly and tha young man started
for tho door. Before he roaohod it tho
shoo dealer was at his elbow. "You
can have tho shoes," ho said, "but it's
robbery. It's way below cost. Ijust
givo them away." Tho shoes wero
wrapped up. Tho young man waited
till the string was tied aud they were
uuder his arm. Then ho gavo tho
dealer a $3 hill and asked for tho
change.—Atlanta Constitution.
T.io Flower ol tho Urilisli Army.
Tho Quocu's body guard of Yoomon
of the Guard, which Field Marshal
Sir Donald Stewart calls tho "flowar
of tho British army," is compose! of
warrant aud nou-commissionod of
ficers who havo had servioo in the field
and have a clean good-coudnct record.
Each man woars eovoral medals iu roo
osjuition of distinguished servioe.—-.
New York Sua,
AN UNCANNY OCCUPATION.
GRAPPLING FOR BODIES OF THE
DROWNED AT NEW YORK.
The East River's U Jad Recovered
by Contract—Prices Received for
Looking Up Bodies.
RAPPLING for tbo bodies of
J / the drowned is not a very at
tractive method of getting a
living, but one cannot always
cliooso an occupation these times, and
if the bodies of the dead cau help to
keep tho living alive, the end seems to
justify tho means. At least this is
the philosophic reasoning of Mr. Ed
ward Bourdon, who is kuowu all aloug
the river front as the right man to
scud for when tho waters of the East
River liavo claimed a victim nnd tho
sorrowing friends want to recover tho
romains. Mr. Reardon is an expert at
rocovering drowned bodies, and well
he may be, for ho has put in a lifetime
at the business, and bis father before
him carried on tho samo unsavory
trade.
Theso included rescuing misguided
animals who had fallou overboard
from boats, fishing up old iron, old
ropo und anchors, and searching tho
river for floating corpse?.
A Mercury reporter who discovered
Mr. Roardou sitting ou tho string
piece of tho pier ouo day last week
found him in a rather despondeut
mood. Business was dull and many
of tho olcl branches of tho business
had become a dead letter by reason of
the failiug off iu tho rates. Reardon
had just thrown up a job iu disgust.
Ho was hired by the father of a child
who was drowned while playing ou
ouo of tho docks to recover tho body.
After a vain search Reardon had re
signed iu favor of a rival, who found
the body near where tho child fell into
the river.
*'There ain't nothing in tho busi
ness nowadays," sail Mr. Reardon.
•'Time was when it was worth a mail's
while to go out on tho river nights ou
the chauca of picking up floating bod
ies. At that time I was paid $lO
apioco for every body I brought
ashore. This money was paid by tho
Coroner, who got $23 for his inquest
fee, and after payiug mo ho still had
sls clear profit on tho transaction.
By and by, tho Corouers concluded
that they were paying too much for
corpses aud cut tho rato to $5. A mau
has to live, so even at this low price I
was glad to go lishing for tho drowned,
but tho Corouers got another fit of
meanuc3s and cut rates altogether, re
fusing to pay anything at all for tho
recovery of bodies. Since that time
tho river has kept its dead so far as I
am coucernod, unless I have a contract
beforehand.
"My usual price for finding a body
is $25. I mnko a contract before
hand, and whether it fakes me a day
or a mouth to find a body I stick at it
until my grappling iron books up
what lam after. Tho longest timo it
ever took mo to find a body was uine
days. I remember boiug hired by the
father of a young fellow named Galla
gher. Young Gallaghor walked over
board one night from tbo pier at the
foot of Market street. His father, as
overybody does under these circum
stances if they can afford it, sent for
me. I searched tho river for nino
days and hooked up nothing but bar
rel staves and old iron. After grap
pliug for this length of time, I sat
down in the boat aud thought matters
out. After watching the current care
tully aud studying tho docks in the
vicinity I concluded that there was
room enough for tho body to nave
been washed uuder one of tho docks.
I got the pole tongs aud began search
ing underneath tho dock and very
soon found the body.
"It is part of my business to make
a study of tho currents of the river,
and it is only by tho most careful cal
culation that tho location cau bo hit
upju. Occasionally a body cau be
found quite near where the drowning
took place, but as a general thing I
begin at a spot quite a distance off.
In all, I must have rescued at least n
hundred bodies iu the river.
"Wheu there is nothing to do 'n
the body-grappling business I go out
grappling for anything I can pick up.
This includes old iron (which used
to fotch a good price, but doesn't
now), lost anchors, boxes or barrels
from ships, and anything and every
thing that tho river contains that will
fetch a price. One day I was hired
by a man who had accidentally dropped
his watch into the river. My grap
pling iron fetched it up in about hall
an hour and I got $lO for tho job. At
another time I was sent for to rescue
a horse. Rescuing horses is a little
out of tho ordinary run of busiuoss,
but 1 undertook the job. Tho horse
had fallen over a pier while attached
to a wagon, aud the driver, for some
reason best known to himself, had un-"
fastened tho traces and let him drop
into the water. The animal swam out
into tho river and I caught him and
hauled him aboard with my ropo and
lackle. I had to have five assistants
on that job, and wo got $2 apiece
when tho money was divided up.
Pretty cheap for reselliug a horse
alive."—New York Mercury.
A "Sleeping If arms v*
A German has iuvonted a sleeping
harness. Broad straps Rupport the
arms; they pass through a nooso ovei
the head, so that either arm can be
lowered. Tho head is supported by a
pad, which is attached to the upper j
part of tho arm straps. The back, of '
course, rest against tho back of the !
seat.—New York Dispatch.
King ol Korea Invented Printing.
M. Maurice Oourant is authority for
tho statement that tho invention of
printing is due to Htai Tjoug, King
of Korea, who had moveablo types
cast as early as 1103, —Philadelphia
Ledger,
love is A COD.
tiovo is no bird that nests and flies,
Nor rose that buds and blooms and dies,
No star that shines and disappear?.
No lire whose ashes strew tho years;
Love is the god who lights the star,
Makes music ©f the lark's desire;
Love tells tho rose what perfumes are,
And lights and foods tho deathless tiro,
Love is no joy that dies apace
With the delight of dear embrace;
Love is no feast of wine and brea 1,
Ited-vintaged and gold-liar posted;
Lovo is the god whose touch divine
On hands that clung aud lips that kissed,
Has turned life's common broad and wine
Into the Holy Eucharist.
HUMOR OF TIIE DAT.
Truth is not strauger than goo 1 fic
tion.—Puck.
Cultured people are people who
know how to look at, you without see
ing you.—Galveston News.
Mary had a littlo lamb;
With her it used to stray,
But it fled when Mary rea l her piece
Ou graduation day.
—Washington Star.
Ransom—"Women are wedded to
fashion." Ramson "Yes, and they
love, honor and obey it, too."—Tit-
Bits.
Man with the gloomy liver,
Cense to deplore thy fate;
Get out toward the river
And go to digging bail!
—Atlanta Constitution.
Kate Field tells the girl graduates
that cooking is the alphabet of their
happiness. Many of them never get
any further thau let her be.—Lowell
Courier.
Tommy's Pop—"Why is it the littlo
boy who lives across tho street seems
to have no friends?" Tommy—"Why,
his father's a baseball umpire."—
Philadelphia Record.
Casey—"Phat made Mulligan fall
off do ladder? Did his fut shlip?"
Reilly—"lt did not. Oi told him a
joke an hour ago, an' sure ho jist new
tumbled."—Philadelphia Record.
I lovo to swing upon tho gate,
Say, just at eventide;
That is, it it will bear tho weight
Ofsomo one else beside.
—Now York Herald.
Principal (to new apprentice)
"Has tho bookkeeper told you what
you liavo to do iu tho afternoon?"
Youth—"Yes, sir. I was to waken
him when I saw you coming."—Da
heim.
Lumleigh—"What makos you think
young Phether Wailo is a drummer
for a bicycle concern?" Chumleigh
"Anybody cau see that. He car
ries samples iu his heal." —New York
World.
Grant "Can it bo possiblo that
Hawkins is in lovo with that fat girl?
Why, she woighs 300 ut loast." Ilohbs
"No; I don't believe lie's in love;
lie's just infatuated." Boston
Courier.
She (in tho art gallery)—"l wonder
if my hat is on straight; everybody
stares at me so." He—"Naturally
they do. You'ro tho most perfect
picture here." And now tho cards
are out.—Philadelphia Record.
Mrs. Mcßrido (eutcriug the kitchen)
"Bridget, didn't I see that police
man kiss you?" Bridget— "Well,
mum, sure an' yez wouldn't hev me
lay mesilf opin to arrist for resistiu'
an officer, mum?"— Harper's Bazar.
Why does the poet look so sad?
Why Is his life a wreck?
Ho always gets his poems back,
Aud never gets u cheek.
A correspondent of a poultry jour
nal asks: "Have hens enough in
stinct to distinguish between a real
egg aud the porcelaiu counterfeit?"
Wo think they have. A lien mover
lays a porcelain egg. Norriatowu
Herald.
Commuter —"What do you mean
by saying that that house is only llvo
minutes from tho station? It's fifteen
miuutes if it's a second." Real Estato
Dealer—"When I said live minutes
I supposed you had a bicycle."—Bos
ton Transcript.
Smart—"Whatever iulucod your
undo to marry tho widow of a rum
who had been lmuged?" Simpson
"He has been married to widows I>;<-
fore, and said he was tiro I of having
the virtues of former husbauds lluug
in his face."—Spare Moments.
Husband (whoso wifoliasbeeu reprov
ing him for smoking in her presence)
"You often used to say before wo
wero married : *Oa George, Ido so
lovo the odor of a good cigar.' " Wife
—"Ye?, that sort of thing is part of a
young lady's capital. "-—Texas Siflings,
"Do you believe," said the inquisi
tive man, "that these poets who write
so exquisitely about tho delights of
early rising ever tried it themselves?"
"Certainly not," replied tho sluggard.
"If they had they would never have
written in that way about it."—Wash
ington Star.
"I have come to ask for your daugh
ter's baud, Mr. Herriok," said young
Waller, nervously. "Oh, well, yo?i
can't liavo it," said llerriek. "I'm
not doling out my daughter on tho in
stalment plan. When you leel thai;
you can support tho whole girl, you
may call again."—Harper's Bazar.
"Doctor," asked the sick man, roll
ing up his eyes till only the whites
showed, "why is it that in the days
when I ate no melons except stolon
ones they never bothered me iu the
least, and now that I am a mau an I
buy my melons as an honest man
should, they tie me up in seven kinds
of knots? —lndianapolis Journal.
Bass "And of which variety is your
wife, the cliuging-viue or the self-as-
Eertive?" Cass-"A little of both
When she wants a new dress or a new
bonnet, she generally begins in tho
ehnging-vine role; if that doosn'u
bring the money, then she changes to
the self-assertive, un i- well - she in
variably gets the ilrcss or the bonnet."
Boston Transcript.