FREELAUD TRIBUNE. PUBLISHED mar MONDAY AND TIIUIiSDAY. 'FHOS. A. BUCKLEY, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. OFFICE: MAIN STREET ABOVE CENTRE. SUBSCRIPTION RATES, One Year ........ $1 50 6lx Months 75 Four Months .................... CO Two Months. 25 Subscribers are requested to observe the data following the naino on tho labels of their papers. By referring to this tiu'y can tell at a glance how they stand on the books In this office. For instance: Grover Cleveland 23J une9s means that Grover la paid up to June 28, Keep the figures in advance of tho present date. Report promptly to this office when your paper to not received. All arrearages must bo paid when paper is discontinued, or collection will t>p made lu tho manner provided by law. Sufficient time has now elapsed since tho scandalous disclosures of the dis honesty connected with the Panama canal project for the world at large to give to M. de Lcsseps the credit that Is due to him as a great engineer and a man of gnius. It is not to be doubted that if the enormous funds which were raised for tins great work had been honestly administered the isthmus would long ago have been pierced and the two oeans joined. The later cloud 011 the fame of De Lesseps should not blind tiie world to liis great talents, which were amply demonstrated by tho splendid success of the Suez Canal. In the ease of the Panama project the difficulties to be overcome were much greater, and so the talented engineer fell into the hands of unscrupulous speculators whose dishonesty neces sarily reilected 011 his own integrity. Derby, Conn., lias a most inconsider ate ghost. It went calling the other night and made all sorts of trouble. Among other things It waked up John Connors and told him that his aunt was dying and wanted to see him. Then It hustled him six miles through the snow, clad only in his night, robe. From the standpoint of the ghost this may have been all right, but it is not re garded as a proper proceeding by oth ers. No ghost of standing in the com munity would call for a man under such circumstances without providing him with furs and good warm boots. It is an imposition to do anything else, and it may as well be understood now that any man Is Justified in refusing to stroll out with an unknown ghost that does not display a little considera tion. Should one call it Is perfectly proper to tell it to get some clothes and a carriage. Nearly every winter a great insane asylum burns, usually with loss of life. The destruction of the institution at Anna brings home to the people of Illi nois with much force the fact that no matter how much money may he ex pended or how many employes may be in service there Is no reasonable hope that their great public buildings will escape the fate which, through univer sal blundering and incompetency, seems to be reserved for all of them. There must be criminal carelessness In the construction and safeguarding of these institutions or their destruc tion would not be so general and so frequent. The Illinois Assembly 6hould make a searching inquiry as to the responsibility for the Anna fire. Somebody is to blame for it and for the Inadequate means for resisting its pro gress, and It would have a very whole some effect if an example could bo made of him. The Japanese are vicious little boasts and tlieir civilization is a gloss, but some one of them must have brains. It would be exceedingly interesting to know Just who the Japanese Moltko is. Troops do not load themselves; forts with Krupp guns need taking. The care of troops with tho temperature 20 degrees above zero requires sense. Who is the little brown savage back of all tills good lighting? It is probably uot tho champagne-drinking Mikado. It cannot be one of the older Japs—one of those who used a short time ago to wear a Vnntine sword and a Liberty blouse. It must be some new-style Japanese, some young man with a mod ern education. That young man is worth watching, (if course It is quite probable that lie Is not a Jap at all, but some wise, spectacled German, hand ling the Mikado's little lighting brown ies like chessmen. A Japanese Moltko, with little black tufts of whiskers, would be attractive. Bulgaria lias furnished the world wllh numerous sensations for ten years past, but none was so dramatic as that reported from the sobranje or national assembly at the capital, Sofia, where ministers, opposition leaders and mem bers engage in mutual execration and some (lotirlsh of arms. The incident was sufficiently startling to justilly be lief that Itusslan intrigue is at worlt again to involve Turkey, to which Uul garia Is tributary, with the Berlin trea ty signatories. There is a strong Rus sian party in the country, sustained by the sympathy of the most intelli gent portion of the Bulgars, while the Turks are but a fifth of the population More than two-thirds of the people be long to the orthodox Greek church. An amnesty agreed to by the sobranje In dlcates that Russian political conspira tors, who are to bo benefited by it for the most part, will be free henceforth to ply their trade, which is carried on in Bulgaria and Roumelia with an un scrupulousness equal to anything ut Constantinople. A WHOLE bushel of notions don't weigh half as much as one little stub bo. n fact. „ THE LITTLE VALENTINE. Though 'lis faded now and yollow With tho du3t of many years, And its versos float before mo 111 tho mists of unshod toais, tot of all tho tender trunsuros That around my hoart entwine, Tliero is none I lovo so foully As this little vulentino. For around it cling and cluster Mem'ries of the long ago ; Of the sunny dnys of childhoo 1, And tho joys I used to know ; Cherished dreams and youthful fancies, That in those old days wcro mine flowr, libo tho breath of roses, i Bound this little valentine. And like shadows flitting soflly, Loving faces come and go— Faces that have long been sleeping 'Neath tho blossoms and tho snow; Aud dear hands, that long have vanished, Onco again I clasp in mine, As I gaz i in lovo and reverence On this little valentine. Voiois sweet that death has silouced, Whisper to mo words of lovo, Like tho sound of angel music Floating downward from abovo: Till at last, the echoes dying In the depths of mom'ry's shrino, ( am left ia silence gazing On my little valentine. So, although 'tis dim and faded With tho dust of many years, And its vcrso3 float bofore mo In tho mists of uushod teais ; Vet of all the tender treasures, That arouud my heart entwiuo, Thoro is nono I lovo so fondly As this Uttlo valentia n . —Julia T. Itiordan. A VALENTINE ROMANCE, BY J. X.. HARBOUR. I)) f. '£> just like to *V V ' inow wU° in the *"* UO ever Bent mo that thing! I just would liko to know!" Jiffiiniu/JLuciuda Dyke &$ W V sat in ber big wooden rocking-chair, with her bon net and shawl still on, although sho was one of tho most methodical of spinsters anil tnailo it a rulo to put her gloves, bonnet and shawl away, neatly anil carefully, the moment she entered her house. But on this oc casion sho had sunk hastily into tho rocking-chair with even her gloves on. She had beeu to tho village post office, and, to her unspeakable amazo ment, had received a valentine. Sko had not even remembered that it was St. Valentino's Day until she had passed ono of Die village shop windows, hanging full of valentines, and elio had said to herself when she suw them: * 'Dear mo! I thought that silly and rcdikilous custom of sending valen tines had about died out. Bucli non sense as it is 1 But I guess only chil dren and fools do it." Fivo minutes later, Mr. Moses Moss, tho villago postmaster, handed Miss Dyke a square, highly embossed white envelope through tho littlo postoffico window. "I guess somebody's sent you a val entine, Miss 'Cindy," ho said. "I don't think anybody's been so Billy," sho replied, a little tartly. Bho was rarely given to joking,mnd sho always resented jokes having even remote reference to affairs of tho heart. Sho acknowledged herself to bo "touchy" on this point, and sho felt offonded when sho knew that it was really a Valentino that sho held in her hands. She dropped it quickly into tho black-cloth baud-bag sho carried, her faoe flushing crimson with indigna tion. She was so disconcerted by re ceiving tho valentine that sho forgot to ask for tho postage stamps and en velopes sho had come to the office for, but marched out very primly and stiffly, giving tho door of the post office a sharp little bang bohiud her. Sho felt quite sure that Moses Moss was watching her through the one lit tle front window of the postoffice, and sho hold her head very high and swung her black alpaca skirt 3 scorn fully us sho walked away. "I wish to tho laud I'd torn tho thing iuto a thousand pieoes right be fore him !" she said, as sho turned tho corner. "He likely knows who sent it, as he's the postmaster and familiar with ev'rybody's writia*. An' Moeo is such an old gossip he'd be sure to toll tho person who sont it if ho'dscen mo tear it up. Wish I had. * Her brown oyos woro none the less beautiful becauso of tho angry sparklo in them, and tho flush of crimson on eithor cheek wa3 veiy booomiug to Miss Lucindu. Sho found her scissors, tho moment sho entered her house, and cut off an end of tho cuvelopo with a snap. Then she drew out a dainty little cro ation in pink and blue and gold on a foundation of white, satiny paper, with an edgo of paper lace. Sho held it out at arms' length, in lior gloved hands. Her eyes fairlyglittered now, and tho crimson flush on her cheoks deepened. "Whoever sent mo that thing is a fool 1" she said. Then sho held tho Valentino a littlo nearer, and said, scornfully: "Ilnmphl Hearts with arrors rnn through 'em, an' nasty little Cnpids an' weddiu'-bells—tho idea of it I It's a perfect in-snltl When a woman gets to bo forty-threo years old, as I am, tho less she thinks of Cupids au' weddin'-bclls an' such nonsesnso, tho better off she is. I've a good miud to put tho thing into tho fire, and— what's this? Poetry, as I'm a sinner 1" The Valentino had suddenly openod in her hands, and, in gilt letters, with a gold heart above and below it, was this verso: •'01), lonely, lonely 19 my heart, So lonely, lpve, for thee, I'm happluut when I'm whero thou art, Oh, wilt thou como to me? Oh, wilt thou come to me for aye, Anil bo forever mine, To gladden all the future years? Say : 1 Yt s!' Say : 'Yes 1 My valentine." "Mercies 1" cried Miss Dyke, as she let the valentinefnll into lier lap, while her arms fell limply to her sides and she almost gasped for breath. Pres ently she said slowly, nodding her bonneted head to and fro: "I—just —wonder —who did send mo that—silly—thing? Some mischiev ous school-boy, likely. But, no; liii'd seat me one o' them nasty comics with a picture of an old maid on it with a noso a yard long and a sassy verse printed on it. X never saw that writ ing before, that I know of." She took up the envelopo and scru tinized tho address carefully. "No," sho said, "I never saw that writing before. Now, if I knew who sent mo that thing, I'd send it right back with a note, telling 'em just what I thought of 'cm. I vow I would!" Sho put tlio Valentino back into the onvolopo and gavo it a spiteful little toss over to a small stand near her. Then sho rose briskly, took oiF her bonnet and shawl, exchanged her black alpaca for a gray mohair house-dress and a crisp white apron with wide crocheted laco on it, and sat down by the little stand with a piece of half finished sewing in her hands. Tho Valentino fell to tho floor at her feet, when sho took up her sowing. Sho let it Jay whero it had fallen for several minutos, whilo sho stitchod away in silence, drawing tho thread through tho cloth with quick, short jerks. Suddenly aho stooped and picked up tho vulentino. "llow did that silly verso go?" sho said, as Bhe drew tho valcntino from its envelope. "Such stulT as it is anyhow 1" She read it again and again, heed less of tho fact tbat the cat was snarl ing up dreadfully tho contents of her workbasket. "1 know what I'm going to do," she said, suddenly. "I'm going back to the post office and make Moses Moss tell me whose handwritin* that is on the envelope. He'll know, and he'll tell mo, too. Moso always was a good natured fellow, and he'll tell mo if ho knows. I've just tlio faintest s'picion that old Jasper lloyt may havo sent mo this. They say he's half cracked to marry again, and his first wife not six mouths in her grave. La! I want it fiyiug buck to him with as sassy a letter as ever ho got, if I find Jasper Hoyt did send it. "Or it may bo that it came from Silas Lawson. Some think ho wants to marry 'cause he's painted and fixed up his place so, and got himself somo decent duds. He'll never marry me. It may have come from Jadson Sparks, and there aiu't no ono I'd sooner scud it dying back to than him. Ho worried his drst wifo into her grave, and he'd never get the chance to worry mo there, not if he'd get down on his bended knees and begged mo to havo liirn. John Glecson may have sent it for—but I'll just go and dud out of tho postmaster who did send it. I'm just curious to know." Bat tliero was something moro than merecuriosity in Miss Lucinda's lonely heart as she walked back to tho post office. Not for the world would she havo admitted it even to herself, but there was a feoling of pleasure as well as of curiosity in her breast now. She could not dismiss tho doggerel lines of that verse from her mind! '"3 ay: "Yis!" Bry: "Yes!" My Valen tine,'" she ropoatod, reproaching and scorn ing herself for her weakness in doing so, and saying stoutly to herself: "Tho man don't livo that I'd say; 'Yes' to ; no, he don't. What a big goose 1 am anyhow." She reached the postoffico. Tho postmaster was alone in tho neatly kept little room. He was a short, stout, kindly-look ing man of almost fifty years. Ho had childish-bluo eyes and a round, honest face, a littlo inclined toward effemin acy in some of its outlines. The softnees and sweetness of his voice were surprising when ouelookcd at his swelling ohest and broad shoul ders. Everybody knew und every body liked Moses Moss. Luciuda Dyke had known him all of her life, and sho had never cullod him anything but "Moses" or "Mosc." Now she said quickly, eager to do her errand boforo any one came in : "Sco here, Moses, I want to ask a favor of you." "All right, 'Cindy. Ask away." "You know that some groat goose had no more sense than to sond mo a Valentino?" Moses's smooth, round cheeks crim soned. "I know you got one a while ago," ho said. "Think of it! Tho idea! Well, now Mosss, I want yon to tell mo whoso Uundwritiu' that is." She laid tho cnvolopo beforo him. Ho looked at it and then at her, the womauish blush doepeuiug in his cheeks. "You know, don't you?" asked Miss Lnoinda. "I felt euro yon would, you being postmaster and seoiug ev'ry boily's handwriting so much. You know that, don't you?" "What you want to know for, 'Cindy?" "Well, becauso I do," slio said, quite sharply. "If it come from tho person I s'poct it come from, he'll got it hack in short order." "Whom do you suspect, 'Cindy?" "I uin't going to say." "It may be ag'in tho Oov'mcnt Postolfieo laws for me to tell without a written order from tho l'ostoffico Gen'ral." "Stuff, Moses! Moses, how's ho go ing to kuow anything about it? Aud, do you s'poso the Postofilco Gon'rnl and the President- aud his Cabinet is going to hang you if you should hap pen to tell an old maid who sent her a silly valontine? You know bettor than thnt! Did Jas Hoyt sond it?" "No, he didn't." "It ain't Bile Lawson's handwrit ing?" "No." "Nor Judson Sparks's?" "No, 'Cindy." "Did John Gleoson send it?" "It ain't his writing." "Well, who in creation did send it?" "You'll get mad if I tell you." "Well, 1 won't get mad at you, any how, Moses." "Sure not, 'Cindy?" Ho was leaning over a little countor, now looking up into her fnco with an oagor, pleading, searching look. "You suro not, 'Cindy?" ho askod again. "No, of course not," sho said. "Why should I? I—l—why, Moses Moss!" Sho stopped back with a wild, fright ened look. Something in his face and manner startled her. "'Cindy," he said. "Why, I—weli?" "I sent it, 'Cindy." "Good Lor'l MosoMoss!" "I did, 'Cindy. I— Wait a mo ment, 'Cindy!" Sho would havo fled from the post office, but ho readied across the counter and caught both her hands in his, saying eagerly: "I did, 'Cindy ! I did! I sent it." "Lot mo go, Moses Moss!" "You won't send it back, 'Cindy?" "I—l—why, Moses Moss!" "You won't—dear?" "Oh, meroy!" "Say you won't." "Well, I—l—won't -there." "Oh, 'Cindy, I've wanted for months and months to eay what that poetry verGe said, but I ain't dared to say it myself. I am lonely, and you must bo, too, 'Cindy. You'll say 'yes' to that verso, won't you, 'Cindy?" "I—l—riot mo think. Oh, there comes old Mrs. Duke into tho office. Let go my hands. She'll tell it all over town beforo sunset, if sho saw you holding my hands. I must go. I must go." She jerked her hands away; and Moses called out after her : "If it's 'yes,' 'Cindy, when I go by to supper, you be settin' by your front winder, with that red ribbon bow in your hair, that you had on to tho church social last night. Please, 'Cindy." She made no reply, but hurried out with crimson cheeks and shining eyes. At five o'clock that evening Mi'bh Dyke's nearest neighbor, Mrs. Trice, came homo from a walk to tho village store und said to her daughter, Martha: "'Cindy Dyke seems mightv happy to-night. Sho was screeehin' out a silly lovo song when I came by her houso a minute ago, and she came to tho door as I passed, and sho had on her brown silk dress and best white apron and a red ribbon bow in her hair." "Maybe somebody sent her a valon tine," said Murtha, with a little titter ing luugh, never dreaming that s'ue hud guessed aright.—New York Led ger. A Crew or Deaf Jliitc.s. Tho schooner Mary and 80110 is probably the only vessel in tho world that is manned by a crew thnt is deaf and dumb. Tho schooner is not a largo vessel by any moans, being about toveuty feet long, but sho is n neat-looking craft and her decks, spar and rigging look in much better con dition than those of many other ves sels whoso crews can speak the lan guage to tho Queen's taste, says tho Providence (R. I.) Journal. The cip tain of this craft, Georgo Bcnuett, is a most intolligeut-lookiug man, ap parently fifty years old. Ho is olive to nil that is going on around him aud seems to enjoy his silent aud Bpeeeh!e33 life. Tho "crew," Charlio Malone, is also deaf und dumb. These two deaf aud dumb men manage the stanch schooner Mary and Belle admirably. Thoy aro always on tho lookout and sleep with ono evo open, as good sailors always should. When they are caught in heavy squalls tho Captain < annot shriek out his commauds, but simply attracts his man's attention by a whistle and then tells him what he wants by signs, while he sticks to tho wheel. The First Methodist Church, Tho 123 th anniversary of tho Meth odist Church in America has rtceutlv been celebrated. Tho first Methodist ohurch in this country was organized in a sail loft at 120 William street, New York. When tho congregation had outgrown its quarters tho edifice in Johu street was built. lu 18IS, wliou thu church was erected, there wero 40!) members of that denomina tion in America; now there aro more than 5,000,000. Homo of the old relics owned by the present congregation are the original pulpit chair, tho altai railing of the William street chareh, tho subscription book, which contains tho sums given by tho charter mem bers and entered in their own baud writing, and other interesting articles. —New Qrloaus Picayune. Dr. Loskwoati's Curious Experiment, A curious series of experiments on thu hereditary transmission of mutila tions has boon made by Dr. C. G. Loc'awood. By tho in-atrd-in brood ing of whito mico for ninety-six gene rations ho obtained u larger aud liuor animal than tho original pair. In or der to breed their tails off, ho selected a pair, and, putting thorn in a cage by themselves and clipping their tails, ho got n breed of tailless mico in tho seventh generation. Thon, by taking one with a tail and ono without a tail, aud alternating the soxos in each gen eration, ha finally again got a brood of all-tail mice.—New York Adver tiser. THE -BLOODTHIRSTY SERL THE MOST INTERESTING TRIBE ON THE CONTINENT. Tlicy Kill a IV hi to Man on Sight—So Fleet-Footed That They Outrun Deer and Rabbits. I yHE killing of two Americans I I by tho Seri Indians of Honors I last spring has given ocoasion 6 for recent diplomatic corre spondence between tho Unitpd States and Mexico. It will be remembered that the victims belonged to an ex ploring expedition keadod by a news paper man named Robinson. The latter and ono of his throe companions wero murdered. Tho deed had no other motive than pure fiendishnees. Small as is tho tribe of tho Seris—they number only about 250 eouls—these savages aro tho most bloodthirsty in North America. For a long timo thoy have terrorized Sonora, but the Mexi can Government scorns powerless to control them. Tho tribo was visited recently by an expedition from the bureau ofEthnol ogy, which haß just returned to Wash ington with somo very interesting in formation. Professor W. J. McGee, who led tho party, 6aid : "It is understood that tho Seris are cannibals—at all events, that they eat every wliito man they can slay. They aro cruel and treacherous beyond de scription. Toward tho whito man their attitudo is exactly tho sarno as thnt of tho whito man toward a rattle snako—they kill him as a matter of ooursc, unless restrained by fear. Never do they fight in open warfaro, but always lie in ambush. Thoy are copper-colorcd Ishmuolites. It is their custom to murder everybody, white, rod or Mexican (I employ tho terms commonly used in thul country) who ventures to enter tho territory thoy call their own. "In many respects tho Seris are tho most interesting tribo of savages in North America. They aro decidedly moro primitivo in their ways than other Indians, having soarcely any arts worth mentioning. In fact, thoy have not yet advanced as for as tho stono ugo. Tho only stone implement in common uso among them is a rude hammer of that material, which they employ for beating clay to mako a fragilo and peculiar kind of pottery. When ono of tho squaws wishes to mako a meal of mesquite beans she has no utensils for tho purpose. She looks about until sho finds a rock with an upper surface conveniently hollow, nud on this sho places tho beans, pounding them with un ordinary stone. "Tho Seris live on tho Island of Ti buron, in thoGulfof Oalilornia. They also cluim 5001) squaro miles of tho mainland in Sonora. Their dwellings aro tho rudest imaginable. A chauco rock commonly serves for one wall of tho habitation ; stones aro piled up so as to mako a small inolosnre, and tho shell of a oiuglo great turtlo does for a roof. Tho houso is always open on ono side and is not intended as a shel ter from storms, but chiefly to keep off tho tun. Tho men and women wear a singlo garment, liko a petti coat, made of pelican Bkin. Not far from Triburon, which is about thirty miles long by fifteen miles wide, there is a smaller island where pelicans roost in vast numbers. Tho Boris go at night, and with sticks knock over as many of tho birds as they require. "Physicully speaking, the Seris aro most remarkable. They are of great stature, tho men nvcraging nearly six feet in height, with splendid chests, but tho most noticeable point about tliom is their legs, which are very slen der and siuowy, resombliug tho logs of tho deer. Since tho first coming of tho Spaniards they have been known to other tribes as tho runners. It is said that they can run from 150 to 200 milos a day, not pausing for rest. I supposo you nro uwuro that tho jack rabbit is considered a very ilect animal. Yet theso kndians aro accustomed to catch jack rabbits by outrunning them. "For this purpose thrco mou or boys go together. If tho rabbit ran straight away from its pursuer, it could not bo taken ; but its instinct is to make its flight by zig-zags. Tho hunters arrango themselves at short distancos apart. As quickly as one of them starts a rabbit, a second Indian runs as fast as he can along a line parallel with tho course taken by the animal, Presently tho rabbit sees tho second Indian and dashes off at a tan gent. by this timo tho third hunter has oomo up and gives tho quarry an other turn. After tho third or fourth zigzag tho rabbit is surrounded, and tho hunters quickly closo in upon him und grab him. "It is an odd fact that this method of catohing jack-rabbits is precisely tho samo as thnt adopted by coyotes, which work similarly by threes, by this strategy theso wild dogs capture tho rabbits, though tho lutter are more fleet by far. I beliovo that no other human boings approach tho Seris in celerity of movemont. A favorite sport of tho boys is lassoing dogs. Mongrel curs are tho only animals domesticated by thoso wild peoplo. For omusomont's suko tho boys tako their dogs to a clear place and drivo tliom in all directions. Then they capture tho frightonod animals by running nud throwing lassos, which are mado out of human hair. They bavo no difficulty in overtaking tho doge. "No other poofSlo in North Amer ica havo so few conooptions of civiliz tion us tho Seris. Thoy have abso lutely no agriculture. As well as I could ascertain, thoy nover put a seod into the ground or cultivate a plant. They live almost wholly on fish, water fowl and such game as they kill on tho mainland. Tho gnme includes large deer, like our bluoktails, an exquisite ly graceful species of dwurf deer. about tho size of a three-months' fawn, peccaries, wild turkeys, prnirio dogs, rabbits and quail. They tako very largo green turtles in the Gulf of Cal ifornia. Mesquito beans they eat both cooked and raw. The mesquito is a small, spreading tree, that bears seods in pods^- "These Indians r.ro fond of car rion. It makes no difference to thorn whether a horse has diod a natural death a week or a month ago, they de vour tho llesh greedily. The feet of the animal they boil until tboso parts are tender enough to bite. The Heria are among tho very dirtiest of sav ages. Their habits in all respects aro filthy. Thoy seem to havo almost no amnsements, though tho children play with very rude dolls. Before tho whites came they used pieces of shell for cutting instruments. I ought not to forget to say that they aro aoeus tumod to catch deer by running and surrounding tho animals. No tradi tions worth mentioning appear to ex ist among them. Tho most interest ing ornament I saw worn by any of them was a neoklaco of human hair, adornod with tho rattles of rattlc snakos. —Washington Star. WISE WORDS. Nino out of ten pcoplo yon talk with havo some sort of a tale of woe to tell. Tho best sweets, liko tho greatest joys, should bo sipped, not gulped down. Fame is cheap in a small town ; it is so easy to got your name in tho news paper. If yon havo a good thing stick to it until yon aro eertaiu of something superior.' Tho public'will always suspoot any institution that is a particle averse to investigation. Thero aro few specohes and few books that would not bo improved by judicious prnniug. So many wicked spiders down town aro regardod as innocent fiios by their women folks at homo. No woman should ever worry ovor tho loss of a man who hadn't the courage to ask for her. A woman's idea of a perfoetly awful thing is to have a visitor call whilo she is washing her hair. A lio is often told without saying a a word, by putting the rotten applos in tho bottom of the basket. If you don't want to subsist upon bitter husks of retrospoctiou, don't buck up against a put-up job. Men who imagine that they oro thoroughbreds, discover finally that they are only plain work animais. Some women talk of owing other women a cull in tho same way that men say they owo somo ouo elso a grudge. A grent many peoplo do not learn until thoy aro forty-livo or fifty that it is dangerous to become confidential with people. * It must bo very discouraging to a man to bo very gallant to bis wife iu publio, and havo hor look as if sho wasn't used to it. Never undertake to satisfy all of tho whims of your neighborhood, rather satisfy yourself that you aro doing right by not meddling; theu you will havo mora friends.—Tho Great West. A Wise Bog. Coming downtown on a Linooln avouuo grip oar tho other morning was a man who had tnnght something like wisdom to a dog. The animal is a fine specimen of tho greyhound breed and ho knows when ho is tired. Ho always aeoompanies his master to tho store, iu tho region of Division street, and ho rides most of tho way on tho grip car. lie gallops along side for a while, looking up occasion ally nt his master, and making re marks with his eyes about tho scenery and passing teams and whatever else may occur to umuso him. And when he gets tired lie runs a littlo olosor to tho grip car and leaps up on tho foot board whero tbo conductor runs nlong when he blows th 3 whistle in your ear. Ho stands thcro steadily on his four feet—tho dog; not tho conductor, pantiug slightly, and exposing a por tion of a moist red tongue. Aud, when he thiuks ho has ridden as far as his weariness renders ncoessnry, ho leaps to tho ground, not waiting for the car to stop, catches his feet all right, and goes on with tho merriest possible lope. Ho is a familiar figure, and his pref erence for riding übovo walking has won him many mlmirors. Chicago Herald. To Sco Your Own Eye. "Did you ever 800 your own oyo?" asked an unscientific person. "It is a very simplo matter. Tho most sat isfactory viow isobtoiuel hyshnttiug, say, tho left eye, and pressiug geutly upon tho right side of the right eyo. You will thou soe, apparently at tho right Bide of tho nose, a round dark object about tbo sizo of tho apple of tho eye. That is what I take it to be, aud I suppose tho retina is mado iu some way to rcllect tho outer portion of tho oyo, though tho pheuomena may bo only an optical illusion."— Now York Sun. A lioiig-Helayol Letter. I. J. ltolfe rocoived a letter a few days ago whioh was dated Jauuary 11th, 1878. It was written nt San Juan nnd was of importance, nnd re quested an immodiato auswer. In somo mauuer it wn3 mislaid, aud it has lain all thoso years hidden iu soma rocess of tho furuituro in the post office. In moving tho furniture Mon day it dropped out and was delivered to Mr. Rolfo. Tho letter was writteu by O. B. Swan, who was at tho tiuio postmaster at San Juan.—Nevada City (Nov.) Herald. HE A. FIT-CO IN. Onodayl gavo my herfrt's best dowor To ono whoso tears were flowing, My sympathy In that dark hour Her poor, griovod heart was knowing. To mo sho gavo a rose, to-day, From out hor lovo nnd sorrow) 'Tls over thus along Ufa's way, We tend, or elso wo borrow. Did we remember "lovo or halo The like to us will reader," Maybo,sometimes, b'iforo too late, Our words would bo more tender! —Margaret May, iu Now York Observer. IIUMOR OF TIIE HAY, A man who is crooked usually fol lows his own bent, You can usually tell an ass by his lack of horse-sense,—Pack. Miss Elderly—"l fainted last night." Maude—"Who proposed ?"—Life! A man would be surprisedif ho were what a woman thiuks ho is Detroit Free Press. She —"And what would yon bo now if it weren't for my money?" Ho— "A bachelor."—Pall Mall Budget. Elsie—"She says sho is twenty two." Ethel—"Then she must have deducted her time allowance."—Puck. Let a play house he built Which no others may use Than the girls with big hats And tho men with big shoes. —Wushlugton Star. Ho—"Darling, will yon lovo mo when Pm gono?" Sho —"Yes, if you aro not toe far gone."—Loudon Xid- Bits. Miss Olds—"Yes; ho said yesterday that to him my face was like a hook." Miss Frend - "As plain us that?"— Puck. Tho first setback in many a man's lifo oocurrod ut school when ho was setback among tho girls.—Rockland (Mo.) Tribune. "But what earthly nso is it to dis cover tho North Pole? I cau't soe." "It will save future expeditious. Harper's Bazar. "How can thcro be such a thing as a whole day, you kuow," mused Fweddy, "wheu it bweaks evewy mawniug?"—Chicago Tribuuo. "You'll please look over this small bill," Exclaimed tho duu. Too dobtor took it j And then said ho. with weary smile, "I'd rather overlook it." —Philadelphia Record. Pertly—"There is ono thing I have to say in favor of tho wiud when it whistles." Dutlheal—"What's that?" Pertly—"lt never whistles popular airs."—Harper's Bazar. No matter bow good tho deacon is, ho will always look wise and pleased if anybody suggests thit ho wits a pretty lively young fcllo.v whon ho was a boy.—Somcrvillo Journal. "I thought you told mo that Miss Brown had spent a great deal of money on her voioe?" "Well, so I did." "But she can't sing." "Well, I didn't say that sho could, did I?" Truth. Littlo Rich Girl—"Don't you wish you had a pair of lovely red gloves like me?" Littlo Poor Girl—"Don't you wish you had a pair of lovely red hands, like mc?"—South Boston News. Bronson—"Have tho detectives found out anything about that burg lary yet?" Jobnsou—"Yes; thoy'vo come to tho conclusion that tbo mo tive for thu crime was money."—Bos ton Herald. There is a woman in Georgia woigh iug 000 pounds who makes mounshiiio whisky. Hasn't a woman who weighs 600 pounds got trouble enough of her own without makiug it for other people?—Rockland (Me.) Tribune. Sho (at tho dinnor) —"I think our hostess is the most perfect la ly I ever saw." Ho—"Yes, but I notice that sho made ono break early iu thu own ing." Sho —"Sho always does that. It puts her guests more ut their oaso." New York Herald. ltambliug Raggsv—"Will yur ploasa give mo a dime, sir, to get sumthiu' to eat?" Citizen-—"What can you get for a dime?" R. R. —"I kin get a plate of hash for a nickel, sir." C.— "What do you want with thu other livo A cents?" R. R. "That-, sir, iB fur a tip fur tho waiter."—New Yurie Press. Sir George—"Look here, -John ! My lady complains that when you soe her iu tho street you never salute hor. What do you moan by it?" John— "Boggin' your pardin, Sir Goorgo, hut in a book on ettykotty w'uiuh I pos sess it is set down that tho lady ought to bow first." —Household Words. Tho neighbor who borrows your wboelbarrow and rake aud sprinkling hoso and lawn-mower and ouo thing uud another in tho summer never comes to borrow your snow shovel ill the wintor. And when ho shovels oJ his own walk it is touching to note with what oxactuesi ho works up to tho lino where your lots divide, with out infringing tho smallest fraction of an inch upon the snow that lies oil your part of tho sidewalk. —Ruoklaud (Me.) Tribuno. The Toal's Queer Way. Paternal affection is not perhaps tho ' precise emotiou that we should bo dis posed to look for in the cold-blooded 'tog. But the Suriuam toad—of which no fewer than ten specimens have just arrived at tho Zoo -appear to exhibit this praiseworthy attitude of mind to ward his numerous progeny. Wheu his mutu lays her eggs the solicitous futher places them carefully upon her back, where iu duo tiuio their pros enco eousesau irritation Hi it produces numerous small holes, into which tho eggs forthwith drop, 'u these colls, whioh, from mutual pressure, gets to bo hexagonal, like honey coin a, thn young frogs aro finally hutched, nnd for a bit scramble about thoir moth er's back, biding in thoir nurseries when clanger threatens.—Loudon Nows.